Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tony’s self-aware enough to know he’s not a bad guy. Not a good guy either, but not a bad one definitely. His intentions are... okay. Look, you don’t get into mad science to win the Nobel Peace Prize, alright? Geez.

You don’t get into mad science to win so much as your local science fair.

Tony can’t put his given name on anything related to his villainous side-gig. If it says Stark, it’s all shiny and sparkly and government- regulated. Stark Industries corporate books are squeaky clean.

If it says ‘Iron Man’ or it’s anything Iron Man-related, a nice word for it could be ‘vigilante’. The press doesn’t use nice words and neither do the super heroes. Tony is labeled squarely a villain, even if his kill count wouldn’t get him past the front door at Villains-R-Us.

So Tony calls himself a vigilante and everyone else calls him a villain, and he’s just got to be cool with that. What’s fucked up with the system... what keeps Tony up at night... is just how ass-backward it all is in the first place.

Yes, Stark Industries is above reproach. Startlingly so. Except that all the weapons that Iron Man’s got to hunt down and destroy are the shiny, sparkly, government-regulated pieces of shit his father and Obadiah sold to anyone with a million dollars and an embassy behind them.

And all the weapons Tony builds as Iron Man to save the world from his family legacy are the ones considered illegal and dangerous and problematic.

Whatever. Tony’s on a year sabbatical from Stark Industries, and apart from checking in with Pepper once or twice a week to see if he needs to sign anything important, he is free to do as he pleases. And what he pleases to do is spend his time finding and destroying Stark weaponry.

If he can do it without hurting anyone, good. If the bad guys fight back-- well, sometimes you’ve got to break a few eggs.

Which is why it ends up feeling like such a damn insult when Hydra sends someone to recruit him. (To recruit Tony Stark. Thankfully they haven’t seemed to work out he is also Iron Man.)

Tony’s up to his elbows in circuitry and machine goo (technical talk here) when the stranger appears in the doorway to his secret lab. Tony decides to call him Hydra Dan, because it’s easier naming these jerkwads himself than waiting around for an introduction.

“Mr. Stark,” Hydra Dan says.

Tony sighs. “It’s Dr. Stark and whatever it is you’re selling, I’m not interested.”

“This isn’t the sort of offer you turn down,” Hydra Dan warns.

“Hydra doesn’t want me,” Tony replies. “I don’t play well with others. I don’t intimidate easily. And I don’t get kidnapped. It just doesn’t happen.”

Hydra Dan lifts his gun. He looks a little confused though. Like he’d assumed Tony would be jumping at the chance to join them.

“Ah, is this your first time, junior?” Tony asks. “Not what you expected?”

“You need to come with me, Dr. Stark.”

“Jarvis? Show our guest the way out.”

*

Tony’s not a bad guy, but he’s not a good guy either. When Hydra Dan chooses to make things difficult, Tony doesn’t feel bad watching him drop to the floor. He’s not dead. Tony doesn’t kill when he can avoid it. But what he does do will keep Hydra Dan from bothering him again any time soon: cuff him, erase his memories from the last few days, drop him off somewhere the heroes will have an easy time finding him, and leave behind a flash drive (courtesy of Jarvis) full of the guy’s crimes.

His text to Captain America is simple: Cleanup on Aisle 1. (Rental Bay 6, Main & Norse)

Iron Man doesn’t sign his name. By now he doesn’t have to.

*

Ugh, Hydra Dan has backup. The next day a new Hydra agent shows up, a lot more badass than the first. This one’s got half a face mask and a big-ass gun. It’s only Jarvis’s final second warning that saves Tony the trouble of prying a bullet out of somewhere fleshy and important.

The bullet misses by a few inches, Tony enables protocol Get Me the Fuck Out of Dodge, and Jarvis handles the rest. Masked Hydra Goon #2 is left behind, writhing on Tony’s lab floor, from the wall lightning Jarvis shoots at him. Tony has no choice but to abandon his New York lair and head somewhere more remote.

Damn it.

*

Tony knows that won’t be the end of Hydra’s pursuit. He avoids his more obvious labs and moves to one of his back-ups. This one is cooler anyway. It’s a proper mad scientist hideout on St. Lucia, near a volcano and everything.

Unfortunately. Tony’s not in his Sciencetorium when the same Hydra agent finds him a second time. At least Tony thinks it’s the same guy. He’s not wearing a mask this time. He’s got the same stride though, and the same efficiency of movement. This guy is built like a brick house and damn, those are some thighs. His dark hair hangs in his face, and his eyes are intense in a way Tony would ordinarily reserve for the bedroom. The only imperfection (and Tony only assumes others would see it as an imperfection. He thinks it’s great) is the metal hand, which is presumably attached to a metal arm.

Tony names him Hydra Hottie and this St. Lucian meet-cute would be fantastic if this wasn’t a really bad time to be accosted.

See, this is not Tony’s bedroom. Or his lab. No, Tony’s sitting in Rituals Coffee, working his day job mind you, and it’s about 3:30 in the afternoon so the after-school crowd is around. Hydra Hottie takes the seat across from Tony at the small table. Tony closes his laptop.

“Let’s take this somewhere else,” Tony says. “I’ll hear you out. But not here.”

Hydra Hottie says nothing, but he does nod. Then he stands and turns and walks out, without looking back. Tony watches.

He’s got some options. The Iron Man suit is in a briefcase at his feet. He’d use it except the people in this shop know him as Tony Stark so as soon as the suit comes out, his cover is blown. Forever. Tony Stark is Iron Man. Tony Stark is a criminal (even if it’s for all the right reasons). Tony Stark’s life is finished.

Tony could also just try the back door.

Unfortunately there are a lot of people between here and there. Kids. Baristas who don’t get paid enough for this shit. People who deserve better than a quick death. And Hydra Hottie’d already taken one shot at him. What was two?

Tony packs up his shit. He only needs to buy himself a minute or two to think. He takes his time following the man out the front door.

“Jarvis, are you seeing this?” Tony asks quietly as he makes his way through the cafe.

“Facial recognition software returns no hits. Do you require assistance, sir?”

Assistance from Jarvis is no good for the same reason Tony doesn’t want to use the suit. They’re in public. It would be better to handle this himself.

Rituals is in a mini-mall, which means when Tony looks to the right there’s a Domino’s Pizza and when he looks to his left there’s a movie theater. What there isn’t, is a Hydra agent waiting for him. He looks both ways again and still nothing.

His phone rings. A glance tells him the caller is no one he knows. He answers it anyway.

“I already told your friend no,” Tony says. “You didn’t get the memo?”

“Ditch the briefcase.” The agent’s voice is low and his English is a little hesitant. Like he’s fluent but he doesn’t use it much.

“You’ve got something against paperwork?” Tony asks.

“That’s not paperwork. You see the boy with the green backpack?” the voice asks in return.

Tony does see him, out in the parking lot, about 50 feet away. A teenager, smiling and laughing with his friends. Tony doesn’t need the threat explained. He sits his briefcase on the ground.

“I’m giving you one chance to walk away,” Tony says calmly. “Anything happens to Green Backpack over there, you lose that option.”

“You’re threatening me?” the voice asks. The man sounds more confused than surprised.

“I’m using this as a teachable moment. See, I’ve got a whole scale of justice I work with and...”

Tony keeps talking, though he’s barely paying attention to his own voice. He’s buying time. Green Backpack climbs in a car with his friends. Green Backpack is out of the parking lot. Green Backpack is out of sight.

Hydra Hottie allows Tony his full villain monologue and does not interrupt even when Tony may or may not start reciting parts of George Washington’s second inaugural address.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Hydra Hottie says when Tony finally stops rambling.

“Right,” Tony agrees. “That’s the point. Come on, champ, keep up. You still out back?”

“And getting older by the second,” the voice agrees. He sounds a little more settled now. Maybe a little amused.

“Huh. Funny. Didn’t know Hydra allowed their employees a sense of humor. Figured that was something you all had to sign away, along with your humanity.”

“I didn’t.”

“Sign away your humanity?” Tony asks.

“Sign up for this at all.”

There’s something about his tone that’s tired. Tony recognizes it because he hears it a lot in his own voice. Usually when he’s talking to Rhodey or Pepper and trying to keep up this charade of not being Iron Man.

“Then leave,” Tony says. “It’s as easy as that. I’ve got the money for a plane ticket and a dozen safe houses. Seriously. Say the word and we get you out of here and I won't ask for a damn thing in return. I will help you.”

“It doesn’t work like that.”

Tony picks his briefcase back up. “Okay. Then how’s it work, big guy?”

“Leave the briefcase,” Hydra Hottie reminds him.

“No, I’m not leaving the briefcase. It’s got a nasty shock lock on it. Wouldn’t want some kid getting hold of it.”

“Fine.” The man sounds less patient now. Like Tony’s finally gotten to him. It’s about damn time. Usually he is a lot better at annoying people into making mistakes.

“And here I thought we were bonding,” Tony tries again. “You got a name? Because I’m calling you Hydra Hottie in my head and it doesn’t really feel appropriate considering the circumstances.”

“Stop.”

“Stop what? Walking? Talking? Existing? You’re going to have to be more specif--”

“Humanizing me.”

“Humanizing you? Is that even a thing? Wait, are you a robot? Seriously? I mean I saw the arm but everything else about you--”

The line goes dead.

Tony’s almost to the rear of the building, but he needn’t have hurried. When he gets there, there’s no sign of Hydra Hottie anywhere.

*

Tony leaves St. Lucia late that night and he knows he won’t be back. Not anytime soon anyway. He goes to Canada instead, to the most remote of his labs. Hydra’s come for him three times now. They aren’t going to stop.

He needs to get proactive. Fuckers messed with the wrong super villain.

Tony’d be lying though (self-aware, see?) if he said he wasn’t also spending an inordinate amount of waking thoughts on Hydra Hottie. What it meant that he hadn’t signed on for any of this. Why he’d gotten freaked out by Tony’s attempt to humanize him. Tony’d seen him, and despite the crack about the metal arm, Hydra Hottie was absolutely human.

So it was something else.

Something so distressing the guy had fled his mission all together.

Sick as it is, Tony’s a little worried about the guy. He can’t imagine a failure and retreat goes over well with Hydra’s higher ups. And punishment... well, that’s never been Tony’s idea of a good time.

*

“S’two in the morning so if this isn’t life or death or a booty call you can wait till business hours,” Tony mumbles into the phone.

He doesn’t sleep well most nights so he’s tossing and turning when the call comes in. Doesn’t realize he should have checked the caller ID until he’s met with silence.

Blocked.

A blocked number calling his ultra private Rhodey/Pepper/Happy phone.

“Hello?” Tony asks again.

More silence, but Tony knows who it is. Or maybe just hopes he knows who it is.

“You ready to give me a name yet?” Tony asks.

More. Silence.

“Come on, hot stuff. Give me something to work with here. Or at least tell me you’ve been okay. I was worried.”

The line goes dead.

Great.

*

The next call comes in a few days later at a far more respectable hour. It’s more of the same. Silence. Two days after that, Tony decides to ignore how odd it is to just talk out loud to himself with someone listening and fills in the gaps of their non-existent conversation. He talks about his day, complains about all the conference calls Pepper had arranged despite Tony’s insistence that he really is on sabbatical, come on work with me here Pepper, and about his lack of foresight in packing for Canada. About the lack of nearby grocery options and about taking a hike earlier and realizing it was too damn cold.

“It’s not safe to hike alone in the mountains. You could fall,” the voice scolds.

It’s definitely Hydra Hottie. They’re the first words the man has said to him since St. Lucia.

“You could give me your number. If I fall, I could call you to come collect me.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

“I’ve been called worse,” Tony offers.

“Don’t. Be. Stupid.”

*

Tony’s stupid. He does not fall down a mountain. He does lock himself out.

And yeah, yeah, redundancies, and yadda yadda Jarvis. The thing is, this lab isn’t complete. He didn’t have a ton of time between fuck-they-found-me in New York, and fuck-they-found-me in St. Lucia, and fuck-now-I’m-in-Canada. Plus, sometimes technology just sucks.

As soon as Jarvis figures out Tony is outside waiting at the door he’ll let him in. It’ll be fine. He’s not going to freeze to death in the thirty minutes between Jarvis’s scheduled security sweeps of non-essential areas and now. It will be fine.

He sits down on a rock to shiver.

“Thought I told you to stop being stupid.”

The voice startles Tony. Mostly because it’s not coming from a phone (he’d forgotten the phone inside. The phone would have fixed a lot of his problems. But forget the phone. He had.)

“If only you’d given me your number,” Tony says.

Hydra Hottie steps closer. He’s got a gun. He’s got a couple of guns actually, but none of them are actively pointed at Tony and Tony’s far from helpless. He’s on a giant rock. There’s snow all around. Avalanches are a thing.

God, he’s stupid.

When Hydra Hottie gets to him, Tony doesn’t flinch. He’s too irritated at himself for screwing this all up. He doesn’t deserve to allow himself a panic response. Anyway, it’s not necessary. Hydra Hottie just shrugs out of his jacket and drapes it over Tony’s shoulders.

“Don’t you think you’re going to need that?” Tony asks.

“I run hot. I’ll be fine.”

*

Jarvis spots them in less than ten minutes. Thank goodness, because Hydra Hottie has gone back into silent mode and Tony’s teeth are chattering too loud for him to risk conversation. One wrong shiver and he’ll bite off his own tongue.

*

“Aren’t you supposed to be recruiting me?” Tony asks.

They’re eating. Tony’s taken a warm shower, dressed in pajamas, warmed up two cans of soup, and in all that time Hydra Hottie has remained silent. It’s starting to get disconcerting. Tony is officially disconcerted.

“I left,” is Hydra Hottie’s quiet reply.

“You left Hydra?” Tony asks, putting it all together now. “Like left left? When?”

“After my punishment. They told me to go for additional discipline but I didn’t. I left.”

“This whole time you’ve been calling me you were on the run? Why didn’t you just come here?”

“I didn’t know where here was,” he says. “Not at first. I got here the morning I told you to stop being stupid.”

“If anyone was being stupid it was you. This is Canada. It’s extremely cold and there are bears.”

Hydra Hottie looks unimpressed. “I told you, I run hot.”

“You also told me you aren’t human so I’m not sure what to make of you, to be honest.”

“I never said I wasn’t human.”

“You told me to stop humanizing you. That only works if you’re not human.”

“I’m human,” the man says. “And I have a name. They don’t use it.”

“I’ll use it,” Tony says. “They can go fuck themselves. They’re awful.”

Andddddd back to silence. For nearly a full five minutes they sip their soup off of spoons and Tony waits.

“James,” the man finally says. “But I think most people called me Bucky.”

“Tony,” Tony introduces. “And I’m pretty sure you guessed from the start I’ve got another name, too.”

“Iron Man,” Bucky confirms.

“Did you tell Hydra?” Tony asks.

“They didn’t spend a couple years brainwashing me cause they wanted to hear my thoughts on their plans,” Bucky says.

Tony lets that sink in. “Their loss. Any intelligence agency that fears intelligence? Historically, not awesome.”

*

“This can be yours,” Tony says, stepping aside so Bucky can walk in around him.

The lab isn’t really set up for company, but by the look on Bucky’s face when Tony shows him the extra bedroom, Bucky has not noticed the lack of luxury.

Tony’s pretty sure he’s never seen anyone stare at a bed with that kind of longing.

“Is this okay?” Tony asks.

“This is mine,” Bucky says. “This bed.”

“For as long as you want it,” Tony agrees. “I don’t really bring people to my lairs, between my secret identity and the safety violations.” He waves a hand that dismisses his own words as nonsense. “The important thing is that it’s yours. You’re welcome here. I’ll stay up tonight and add some extra shielding so the rest of Hydra won’t track me down so quickly.”

“They won’t,” Bucky says. “I already worked on it.”

“My shields?”

“My shields,” Bucky clarified. “I brought some scrambling equipment with me when I followed you. I used it to keep your AI from sensing me, and also to keep Hydra off my tail.”

“Smart thinking,” Tony says. “Well-- ummm, we’re going to have to share a bathroom. It’s just across the hall. You’ve seen everything else. Please don’t murder me in my sleep?”

Bucky’s glare says everything Bucky does not.

“Right,” Tony says. “Sweet dreams, Tin Man.”

Bucky doesn’t respond. Tony’s not surprised.

*

In between meals with his new house guest, Tony’s got some bombs to build. Proactive vigilance requires the bigger stick. It does set him back a few weeks on all the other villainy he’s got planned but that’s a problem for future Tony. Present Tony’s got to deal with Hydra before Hydra sends someone else to deal with him.

With them.

Tony’s grown attached to Bucky quickly. He does that. He just doesn’t get the chance very often anymore because for the most part, Tony avoids humanity these days. Back when he didn’t, the ease at which he could fall for someone had always been problematic.

Out here’s it’s not so much a problem as it is inevitable.

Tony knows it is a poor life choice to crush on his silent house guest. Bucky makes it hard not to, though. Bucky, who left one afternoon and returned with a backpack full of fruit from God knows where. Bucky, who cleans and cooks and reads instruction manuals for fun and fixes up the things in the lair that Tony doesn’t have time to fix just yet. Bucky, who is still just as attractive now as he was that hot afternoon on the island.

Maybe hotter, since he’d stolen a few of Tony’s t-shirts and they’re all just a tic too tight on him. Delightfully tight. Enticingly tight. Tony could write out a thesaurus devoted to all the extremely complimentary words his brain provides for Bucky in a Stark Industries R&D tee.

“Why’d you break your orders for me?” Tony finally breaks down and asks one lazy Sunday morning, when neither of them are awake enough to be shy just yet.

He’s asked a similar question before and never gotten an answer.

“You treated me like a person,” Bucky says. He tilts his head a little like he’s trying to come up with more. “I know it sounds pathetic, but it’s the truth.”

Tony’d treated him like a person.

Tony barely remembers their phone conversation outside of the coffee house. He was distracted by Green Backpack. Stalling for time. Tony doesn’t want to think what would have happened if he’d been feeling a little less charitable toward Bucky that day. A little less patient with his words.

“I’m glad I did,” Tony says. “I like having you around.”

Tony’s met with silence, but he doesn’t miss the way Bucky half-smiles down at his breakfast.

*

They fall into a comfortable rhythm as Tony works on Operation: Bigger Stick. Bucky doesn’t talk much, but he does talk. Tony catches Bucky watching him occasionally, sometimes with curiosity, sometimes with something more difficult to define. In the evenings, about an hour before bed, they usually sit together on the couch and watch television. Jarvis has a complex algorithm for choosing what Tony will like, and Tony’s added some lines of code for Bucky’s preferences too.

They’re on a Bucky’s Choice night when Tony can’t take the looks anymore. Can’t take being so close and not touching. They’re both half asleep when Tony shifts to tuck his legs up next to him and leans against Bucky’s shoulder.

“S’not comfortable,” Bucky complains.

Tony draws back. “Sorry-- sorry, I should have asked.”

“No-- didn’t mean move away.”

Bucky reaches for Tony and drags him back toward him, but this time he moves them down the couch a bit, so they can both lay down. Tony helps Bucky adjust their one couch pillow so they can lay their heads on it and then (weird as it is for Tony to think the word) they cuddle.

Or well, mostly it’s Bucky who’s doing all the cuddling, since Tony’s the one closest to the TV, with his back to Bucky’s chest. Bucky wraps an arm around him, and seems far more interested in nuzzling the back of Tony’s head and breathing him in. He’s brushing his hands lightly over Tony’s stomach, too, and Tony has no idea what’s even on the television at this point.

He’s exhausted and the physical touch is full of comfort. Tony’s forgotten what this was like and he never wants to forget again. Wants to keep this up as long as they can.

Tony’s not sure how long it is until he passes out. All he knows is that it’s been years since he slept so well. When he wakes the next morning he’s not quite sure where he is. Probably because he refuses to open his eyes. Refuses to let go of his dreams. He knows it’s not possible, but it feels like he’s in his bed, and it also feels like Bucky’s blazing hot arm is wrapped around him, keeping him warm. There’s a rise and fall of breath behind him.

Tony doesn’t want to lose this.

Eventually though, as the world comes into focus, Tony puts a few things together.

He is in his bed. Bucky is in bed with him. This is some kind of magic.

“You’re awake,” Bucky says. He tightens his hold on Tony.

“You’re in my bed,” Tony says. Eloquent as shit first thing in the morning.

“Didn’t think you’d mind. Nothing happened.”

“Wouldn’t have minded it if it did,” Tony admits.

He rolls over and presses a few sleepy kisses to Bucky’s forehead. “Thank you for staying. I don’t sleep all that well alone.”

“I figured,” Bucky says. “I put you down and you made a noise.”

“A manly noise, I’m sure,” Tony says.

Bucky smiles and it might be the first time Tony’s seen him do it without trying to hide it.

“No,” Bucky says. “You made a noise like a kitten who got left out in the rain.”

“You know, some people think of me as a super-villain. Hydra tried to recruit me three times. They probably still have goons out there looking for me.”

“Yeah, well, next time someone shows up thinking you’re a badass, just get all whimpery. That oughta fix it.”

“You’re mean,” Tony sulks. He yanks at the blanket to pull it up over his face.

He doesn’t resist at all when Bucky tugs it back down.

“I’m terrible,” Bucky says. “Not a match for a super-villain or anything, but I do all right.”

He sits up and carefully reaches over to run a hand over Tony’s hair to brush it away from his forehead.

“You’re chatty in the morning,” Tony says. “I like it.”

“It’s been a while anyone since cared what I have to say.”

“I want to hear all of it,” Tony insists. “Every thought.”

Bucky looks skeptical. “I think I’d get sick of hearing myself.”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

*

“I thought you didn’t like it when I do stupid things,” Tony complains.

He’s in the suit so his voice is metallic, and since he’s looking straight ahead he’s protected from the glare Bucky shoots his way.

“It’s stupid bein’ on your own all the time,” Bucky insists. His voice is muffled because he’s wearing the mask. They’ve both got something to hide.

“I’m not alone,” Tony says. “I’ve got you.”

“And Hydra’s got a hold on me I can’t always shake. It’ll be better if you don’t have to deal with that alone.”

“I like it when it’s just the two of us,” Tony reminds him. “We’re an island. Our own island.”

Tony can’t make effective sulk faces when the faceplate is in position, so the best he can do is sigh. That comes out metallic, too.

“Fine,” Tony says, since Bucky is clearly not budging on this one. “But what if this is a trap? The good guys aren’t stupid. And I doubt they’re fans.”

“They’re after Hydra. We’re after Hydra. And so far we’ve made a lot more progress than they have.”

“It helps that Hydra’s been beating down my door. Literally.”

“Knocking kind of gives away the element of surprise,” Bucky reminds him. “Look. We’ve got incoming.”

They’re not terribly far from their Canadian hide-out but they are far enough away that it wouldn’t be easy to track. It’s an open field. A stealthy looking jet is approaching. Tony sees a dozen improvements he’d make on the thing before it lands.

Trust is going to be tenuous at first, but Captain America had been nothing but decent in the texts they’ve been sending back and forth to arrange this meeting. It does give Tony some hope.

A hatch opens in the bottom of the jet and a ramp glides down.

“Iron Man,” the Captain greets as he walks purposely down the ramp. “Iron Man’s friend.”

Captain America dips his head in acknowledgement of Bucky and Tony will be damned if Captain America doesn’t look a little amused.

“Technically he’s the Winter Soldier,” Tony says. “We’re working on a new name though. He hates everything I suggest.”

“That’s because you keep suggesting Iron Sidekick,” Bucky reminds him.

“That’s terrible,” Captain America agrees.

Bucky makes a gesture like ‘see? This guy gets it.’

Tony rolls his eyes in the suit.

“If you two are finished bonding, I thought there was some legitimate reason Captain America wanted to meet in person?” Tony asks.

“Call me Steve,” Steve says. “And I wanted to make sure your messages about a truce were really from you. The rest of the team was 50/50 on this being a Hydra trap.”

“The messages are really from me,” Tony says. “Here. I’ll prove it.”

Tony lifts his hand and taps a few times on the wrist display of his suit. Steve’s phone rings, playing a loud, clear version of Wrecks N Effect’s Rump Shaker.

Steve tries to silence it but it does no good. The phone refuses to stop ringing until Tony taps on the wrist guard to silence it. Steve tries to look stern, and fails miserably.

“You are the absolute worst super-villain ever, you know that?” Steve asks, smiling in spite of his crossed arms.

Tony shrugs. “I do okay.”

“No, really, you’re incredibly bad at this,” Steve persists. “Two years and you’ve killed four people, and those four people were all heavily armed and appeared to be actively injuring others. You killed them to protect the people around them.”

“It’s not like a kill-count is a contest,” Tony says defensively.

“You only ever target weapons that are held illegally.”

“Everyone’s got a pet peeve. Mine’s weapons in the wrong hands.”

“He also sounds like a kitten in his sleep,” Bucky offers helpfully.

Tony elbows him in the metal arm. Steve laughs and drops all pretense of professionalism.

“What I’m trying to say here,” Steve continues, “is that if I thought you were really a villain, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I think whatever it is you’re doing-- your methods may be questionable but your intentions aren’t. If you want to partner up to fight Hydra, we could use the help.”

“We come as a pair,” Tony says, nodding toward Bucky. “You either recruit us both, or we go back to our island.”

Steve looks from Tony to Bucky.

“You any good?” Steve asks.

Tony can’t see Bucky smirk behind the mask, but he can hear it in his voice.

“I get by.”

“Fair enough,” Steve says. He reaches out a hand toward Bucky, who shakes it without hesitation. “Gentlemen. Welcome to the Avengers.”

Tony reaches out to shake Steve’s hand as soon as Bucky lets go. “I guess I’ve been called worse.”

Chapter Text

Complicated.

Whenever Tony tries to wrap his brain around keeping his secret identity a secret, complicated is the only word that comes to mind. Well, that and clusterfuck. That’s a good one, too. Feels very, very accurate. Really captures the angst and drama involved.

The part of his life where he and Bucky are occasionally Avengers now is probably the least complicated thing he’s got going on at the moment. Tony wears his suit and Bucky always keeps on the mask and they only ever use their code names. Iron Man and the Winter Soldier. The Avengers don’t ask too many questions. The two teams still work separately when it comes to tracking Hydra and it’s only once a new base is found that they message back and forth with a place and a time. It all seems to work out okay, for them at least.

Hydra’s not so lucky.

Operation Bigger Stick is a rousing success. Which makes Hydra desperate, and desperate assholes are not known for their restraint. They up their game. Start recruiting by force. Move their operations under deep cover.

A lot of trails start to run cold.

Bucky and Tony are still operating out of the Canadian Wilderness. In the three months since they joined the Avengers they’ve turned it into a decent sort of home. Tony would kill for the comforts of a life in New York but Bucky’s got a lot of blank spaces in his memories and until they can fill some of them in, he needs to avoid public places. And you really can’t get more public than New York.

“You’ve got that look on your face,” Bucky accuses, as he hands Tony the tool he needs without Tony actually having to tell Bucky which tool he’s looking for.

“You’re going to have to be more specific,” Tony says. “Is it my sexy ‘you want to move me to the bedroom right this instant’ face or the ‘can’t even make it to bed let’s just do it here’ face? I’m good with either.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, but does lean in to press a kiss to Tony’s shoulder. “It’s your ‘worrying so hard your brain’s gonna start oozing out your ears’ face.”

Tony pauses. “You should really do something about that then. I’m kind of the mastermind behind all... this. Need my brain, and all. You could probably distract me. Just saying, it’d be for the good of all mankind and--”

He’s cut off as Bucky grabs him by the front of his shirt and yanks him forward to crush their mouths together in a kiss. Bucky is really good at kissing. That thesaurus Tony was going to write about Bucky in a tight shirt is nothing compared to the ten-volume-mega-tome it would take to describe Tony’s thoughts on Bucky’s tongue in his mouth.

God.

When Bucky finally lets him go, Tony’s a little dazed. “Good-- good start,” Tony says. “Don’t even remember my own name, much less what I was worried about. Was I worried? Is that what was going on?”

He’s honestly forgot.

“I didn’t kiss you to stop you from worrying, I just kissed you because you’ve got a smudge of grease on your forehead and I’ve got a weakness for you on the floor lookin’ dirty and mine.”

“Mmmm. I like that weakness,” Tony agrees.

“But this,” Bucky said, pointing between the two of them, “Isn’t happening with you looking stressed. Whatever it is-- out with it.”

Tony remembers when Bucky rarely spoke. Even if talking-Bucky is seriously cockblocking Tony’s bedroom ideas right now, he still loves loves loves that his boyfriend (boyfriend? Probably, yeah boyfriend) can get his words out like this. Can say what he wants and hold his own and they can talk.

“Just wishing I could take you out to dinner,” Tony says.

“Like on a date?” Bucky asks.

“Exactly like a date,” Tony affirms. “You ever been on one?”

Bucky shakes his head. “I don’t know. That’s not...”

Sometimes Bucky can remember things. A few things. But they’re all from his childhood. It seems like everything from eight and up is lost in a fog. Hydra did some shit things to Bucky. Beyond shit things. Tony can’t really ever focus on it too hard because he’s a little scared of how angry it makes him. At how easy it would be to say fuck the Avengers, and fuck Tony’s moral code, and scorch the fucking Earth wherever Hydra treads. Burn them all.

Nope. No. Tony just tries not to think about it.

“I like to call that face, the ‘I’m gonna set the world on fire’ face,” Bucky muses.

“You aren’t wrong,” Tony agrees.

He takes Bucky’s hand (the metal hand, it’s close and Tony loves it) and kisses Bucky’s knuckles. He’s got to focus on something other than revenge. Revenge is a slippery slope and Tony is sliding.

“When I think about what they did to you,” Tony mumbles. “It doesn’t do great things for their odds of survival.”

“Cap prefers them taken in alive,” Bucky says.

“Cap invited the bad guys to join his little boyband. He can take what he gets.”

“We’re the bad guys?” Bucky asks. He’s smiling like Tony’s said something adorable.

“Well, we sure as shit aren’t the heroes,” Tony sighs.

Bucky grabs Tony and drags him half onto his lap, so he can wrap both arms around him and keep him there. “I dunno,” Bucky says. “I’m not sure I’m sure of anything any more.”

“Except how you feel about me,” Tony prods. “And how I feel about you.”

Bucky nods. “Yeah. Except for that.”

***

“We need to have a talk about Tony Stark,” Cap says.

Well shit. And here Tony thought Cap had called for a meeting with him and Bucky to go over strategy or costume design or talk about the latest Game of Thrones. But this big reveal is not that. Tony stiffens inside the suit.

“What about him?” Bucky asks.

Everything about Bucky’s tone is a challenge and Steve looks surprised. Bucky’s usually pretty quiet in these team meetings. And always extremely polite. This ain’t that.

Steve doesn’t reply right away. Just flicks his finger across the screen in his hands to project some months old footage of Iron Man tearing apart a warehouse full of Stark Weapons. Then the picture changes to more images of Iron Man blowing up Stark branded weaponry. Then more. Then more.

“These are all Stark weapons,” Steve points out.

Duh.

“So,” Tony says. “What’s your point?”

“That you might have a vendetta against Tony Stark and I don’t think you should. He inherited Stark Industries 7 years ago and nothing you ever found and destroyed is newer than 15. We think all SI’s shady dealings were done before his time. His old business partner Obadiah Stane was behind most of it.”

Steve taps his screen a couple of times and a picture of Obie shows up on the wall. Tony is infinitely grateful that the suit hides his expression of unhappiness.

“Why are you telling me this?” Tony asks.

“We got some intel that Hydra’s trying to recruit Stark.”

“That’s old news,” Tony says. “The Winter Soldier and I heard about it a couple of months back.”

Tony is going straight to hell for this. He glances over at Bucky, whose shoulders are tense. To anyone else he probably looks irritated but Tony knows Bucky’s trying not to laugh behind the mask.

“Is there anything else you’d like to share with the class then?” Steve asks. He sounds low on patience.

“That’s all I’ve got,” Tony says. “Hydra wanted to recruit him. He didn’t want to be recruited. And that’s why he’s laying low.”

“Hydra doesn’t always give people a choice,” Hawkeye reminds him.

“He seems resourceful,” Tony says.

“Right,” Steve says. “Which is why we’re going to see if we can recruit him first.”

Tony can’t help the laugh. The suit makes the slightly hysterical giggle into something more metallic and difficult to read.

“Something funny about all this?” Steve asks.

“You don’t want Stark,” Bucky says. “I’ve met him. He’s a loose canon. Always runnin’ off doing something stupid. Can’t follow orders for shit.”

Now it’s Tony’s turn to tense.

“I don’t know,” Tony says. “I mean, he’s brilliant.”

“Yes, and he knows it,” Bucky points out sternly.

“It’s hard not to know those things when you’re the smartest person in the room,” Tony hisses. “That’s not really his fault.”

“You’re sayin’ we should recruit Tony Stark?” Bucky asks, throwing up his hands in frustration. “It’s not a good idea, Iron Man. Think about it. He is not your biggest fan.”

Shit. Right. Okay. Bucky wasn’t shit-talking Tony to be a brat. He didn’t want Tony on the team because if Tony was on the team, then bye bye Iron Man.

“No, you’re right. He’s a total ass,” Tony agrees “And... unhinged. Does not play well with others.”

“So you’ve both met him?” Steve asks.

“I’ve met him,” Bucky says.

I am him, Tony thinks. But what he says is “In passing.”

“Think you could arrange a meeting?” Steve asks.

“Only if I sit this one out,” Tony says. “I mean-- Like the Winter Soldier said, I destroy a ton of Stark weapons. He’s not my biggest fan.”

This can work. Tony can meet with Steve, tell him he’s not interested in joining the Avengers, and that will be the end of it.

“I can arrange it,” Bucky says. “But I doubt we can afford him, and since Iron Man is involved, I’m sure he’s not going to be impressed.”

“It can’t hurt to ask,” Steve says.

“And what if he says no?” Tony asks. “You’ll let him walk away.”

Steve seems surprised by the question. “Absolutely. Of course. We won’t force anyone onto our team.”

“Good,” Bucky says.

That’s the end of the Tony Stark talk, and they move on to some other Hydra busting business. When the meeting’s over, Steve asks Bucky and Tony to stay back.

“Hey,” Steve says. Now that he’s not leading a meeting he’s more relaxed. His voice is apologetic instead of all business and command. “When you joined up were you under the impression you couldn’t say no?”

Steve sounds absolutely gutted by the thought. Tony realizes how Steve might have put their whole conversation together in a way that would make him concerned and Tony backtracks.

“No,” Tony says. “If the Winter Soldier and I didn’t want to be here, we wouldn’t be here.”

“Okay,” Steve says, sounding relieved. “The questions you were asking. It made me worry. I don’t want it to be like that and I thought-- maybe that’s why you’re still...”

Steve gestures to them.

“Wearing our gear?” Bucky asks.

Steve nods. “I guess I’d hoped when you trusted us more you’d be willing to part with it. At least off duty.”

“I’m never off-duty,” Bucky says.

“And I need the suit,” Tony says.

“Oh. Like as life support?” Steve asks, surprised.

“Yes,” Tony says.

In a way it’s true. To continue his life as Tony Stark, the suit is an absolute necessity.

“Okay then. I’ll explain it to the guys. They’re still having some trouble trusting you but they’re getting there.”

“What about you?” Tony asks. “You trust us.”

Steve considers the question and then nods. “I do. Always have.”

“Either you’ve got the world’s best intuition, or we’ve met before in another lifetime,” Tony says.

Steve shrugs. “Why not both?”

***

“Okay, so you want the opposite of the Winter Soldier. How about the Summer Pacifist?” Tony suggests.

Bucky’s glare speaks volumes.

“Iron Boyfriend?”

“Not happening.”

“The Thigh Master?”

Bucky doesn't speak to him for an hour.

***

“What’s this?” Bucky asks.

It’s late and usually they’re cuddling on the couch by now, but Tony got distracted.

“Background,” Tony says. “Figured if the Avengers are looking through old footage of me it’s only fair to return the favor. I had Jarvis dig up whatever he could find and I thought we could split it. You take Widow and Hawkeye, I’ll take Cap and Bruce. We can brief each other on anything worth knowing.”

“Good thinking,” Bucky agrees. He runs a hand over Tony’s back lightly. “You want to do it now?”

“Just another half hour or so,” Tony says, browsing through some of Bruce’s old college transcripts. “You know how I am once I start poking at something.”

Bucky laughs, and it’s a sound Tony’s never going to grow tired of hearing. “Yeah, I do.”

***

Tony’s wearing a suit, only this one is a different kind of armor. Business armor. A fence of wealth. He’s glad he went with Dior because he’s nervous as fuck about this meeting with Steve and hiding behind the facade of the public face of Tony Stark.

This would be easier if Iron Man and Captain America weren’t decent friends. Steve knows him. And one wrong word and Tony could give that away.

That’s why they’re meeting in Stark Tower, in Tony’s official (and rarely visited) office. He’s sitting behind his father’s massive wooden desk. He’s got a huge stack of papers in front of him, and when Pepper’s secretary shows Steve in, Tony stands to greet him.

When he shakes Steve’s hand he realizes it’s the first time they’ve ever really touched. Tony’s given him a lift a dozen times in missions but he’s always worn the gauntlets. This is all wrong. Super weird. But business Tony can do this. Business Tony is an asshole like his father was an asshole and it’s a role he can slip into as easy as breathing.

“I’m a busy man, Captain Rogers.” Tony gestures to the chair across the desk. “Have a seat.”

Steve is wearing a business suit, too. That also feels all wrong, but Tony’s glad for it. All this wrongness is a great reminder not to break character. Tony Stark and Captain Steve Rogers are not friends. This is the first time they’ve met.

“Thank you for seeing me,” Steve says.

“I doubt you’ll be thanking me in a minute,” Tony says. “I know why you’re here. I’m not looking to make new friends.”

“We think you might be in danger.”

“You’re collaborating with Iron Man,” Tony says simply. “You might be in danger.”

“I’m not,” Steve says. “Hydra is. He and the Winter Soldier have been a big help tracking them down and that’s sent Hydra on a hiring spree. We know they want to recruit you. We also know they’ve kidnapped a few other highly regarded scientists in the last few months when their invitations were met with a no.”

“They’ve already come and gone,” Tony says. “They made their offer and I refused, and they haven’t come back.”

“And what if we made an offer of our own?” Steve asks.

“Kick Iron Man off the squad and I’ll consider helping you out.”

“That’s non-negotiable,” Steve says. He looks more than annoyed. He looks angry. Tony’s eyes catch movement as Steve flexes his fingers into a fist.

“He’s a criminal,” Tony says.

“You know what I think is criminal?” Steve asks. “The amount of money sitting in your bank account that came from selling the weapons Iron Man’s trying to destroy.”

“That was my father. Not me,” Tony argues.

“Have you ever considered that if you took some responsibility for your family’s past crimes then Iron Man wouldn’t have to?”

Tony’s jaw twitches. He’s got to keep on his angry face, because if he lets that slip he’s going to stand up and hug Steve and shit, that is not the plan.

“I think we’re done here,” Tony says instead. “See yourself out. Don’t come back.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Steve agrees.

Tony stands and reaches out his hand again out of habit. A goodbye handshake is good business. Steve looks at Tony’s hand and turns and walks out.

Steve Rogers just snubbed Tony Stark for insulting Iron Man. What even is Tony’s life right now?

***

It makes for a good story at dinner at least. Bucky nods his approval over the giant pizza Tony’s brought back to Canada from New York. They’ve cracked open a few beers as well, and they’re eating on the couch so Tony can lean against Bucky’s side comfortably.

“I need to be nicer to Cap,” Tony concludes. “I don’t think anyone’s ever defended me like that, except for you.”

Not that Bucky’s had a ton of chances but he sure doesn’t let anyone shit talk Tony on the comms, even in jest. Clint learned that the hard way.

“You’re hard for people to understand,” Bucky says. “The downside of being the smartest guy in the room.”

“Eh, in a room with you and Doctor Banner, there’s an argument for me coming in third,” Tony says.

Humbleness doesn’t come easy to him but after spending a couple of days looking through Banner’s past, Tony is beyond impressed.

“I don’t have your brains,” Bucky insists.

“Babe, the other day I watched you adjust the Sherbel sensor probe on that ionic phase redistributor to within a millimeter of parameter. By eyeballing it. It’d take me a white board and forty minutes to make a guess like that.”

Bucky shrugs. “Some stuff just comes to me.”

“I’m not jealous,” Tony says. “I love it. When you do science like that you are the sexiest man on the planet.”

“Yeah?” Bucky asks.

“A case could be made for the entire galaxy,” Tony nods. “I’ve got one hell of a telescope and I’ve never seen anything half as good looking as you.”

Bucky actually blushes slightly and it gives Tony a thrill.

“In that case,” Bucky says, “What do you say we finish up dinner and take this to the bedroom?”

“I’d say yes, please and thank you,” Tony agrees.

Bucky looks pleased. “Good manners’ll get you everywhere.”

***

Bucky leaves early the next morning for a supply run. And with Tony’s newfound respect for Captain America it seems like a good time to switch over his snooping from Bruce to Steve.

About an hour in, Tony is bored out of his brain. Apart from some interesting medical notes from Steve’s childhood, everything from the age of 10 on reads like a propaganda pamphlet. SHIELD’s files on him are dry, dry, dry. Most of the paperwork is filled in by some guy named Coulson who clearly got off on dotting i’s and crossing t’s. Steve’s years of military service may be the most boring thing about him.

Figuring anyone that straight-laced had to have some kind indiscretion in their youth, Tony moved on to Steve’s teen years. There still wasn’t much. He was poor. He was... oh well that’s interesting. He’d been taken to a police station once for getting in a fight outside a baseball stadium.

Steve’s booking photo was precious. It is the best thing to happen in Tony in a few weeks. He’s going to blow it up to life size. Order some cut outs. Place them everywhere. A couple of other people were arrested for the same fight and Tony clicks over to see their booking photos, curious if Steve got in any good punches.

The first guy was twice Steve’s size and ugly as sin. It’d be hard to tell if the bruising was a detriment or an improvement. But the next guy... the next guy...

Tony’s breath hitches in his chest. He feels pressure behind his eyes that stings. Horror? Tears? What the fuck? He’s looking at Bucky. Or well, he’s looking at James Buchanan Barnes, who looks for all the world like Bucky. The boy’s eyes are blue instead of gray but the rest of it. Shit. Shit.

“Jarvis, who is this kid?” Tony asks numbly.

“James Buchanan Barnes, childhood friend of Captain Steve Rogers. Barnes was Killed in Action in 2006 at the age of 24. He was survived by--”

“Stop report,” Tony says. “J-- who does this look like to you?”

“When compared to security footage from this morning, there is a 92% feature match with Bucky.”

“That day in St. Lucia I asked you for facial recognition,” Tony accuses.

“To save time, my protocols are limited to individuals classified as living or missing. I do not include the dead in my search, sir.”

“Does he look dead to you?” Tony demands.

“He does not.”

“I want everything Hydra has on the Winter Soldier,” Tony demands. “Everything SHIELD’s got too. I want-- I want everything,” Tony clarifies. “Rumors, conjectures, dead, living, alien-- whatever. If someone mumbled his name in Turkish in the middle of a field of goats I want a satellite image of that field and the names of those goats. Do you understand me?”

“Sir, your blood pressure is elevated and I would recommend--”

“Mute,” Tony snaps. “Dump whatever you find on my secure server, password protect it, and... just don’t be useless.”

Tony rarely takes out his anger on Jarvis but there’s just so much helpless, pointless, frustrating upset, Tony’s got to let some of it leak out or he’s going to explode.

Bucky is James Barnes. He and Steve were friends all through their service but between the mask that covers his lower face, the distortion of his voice through the mask, and then the eye color change, Steve has never noticed. And how could Tony have known?

He’s not angry with Bucky. God, Bucky has no clue. And it’s not like knowing even changes anything it’s just… Bucky’s a goddamned war hero. How has Tony missed this?

Tony rubs his hands over his face. He needs a bomb. He needs a bigger bomb. He needs--

He hears the heavy front door open and a moment later slam closed. He wonders for a second why Jarvis didn’t warn him Bucky was home and then remembers it’s because Tony had muted his AI.

“Jarvis, wipe the screens,” Tony says.

Everything Tony’s been looking at goes blank. He’s going to tell Bucky. Going to tell him right now. But he’s not going to spring it on him without an explanation.

“What’s going on?” Bucky asks, as he walks in carrying two duffel bags over one shoulder, and a giant bag of rice in his metal arm. “Where’s Jarvis?”

“Muted,” Tony says. “He--” Tony cuts himself off because he has no good explanation for this. Not for any of it. “Let’s sit down. I need to sit down.”

Tony sits. Bucky gives him an okayyyyyy sort of look and sits down next to him.

“You’re scaring me,” Bucky says, “And I don’t scare easy.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony says. “Bucky, I...”

Tony trails off and starts again. Forces himself to rip the words out of himself like a bandaid.

“I know who you are. I wasn’t looking up anything about you, but I found you anyway. I’ve got-- I’ve got all this information. Jarvis is looking up more as we speak. But mostly I’ve got a name. Your name. And all the contact information for your friends and family and all the people who thought you were dead.”

“Well shit,” Bucky says. “You did all that this morning?”

Tony nods.

“And here I was proud, because I found canned peaches 10 for 10 dollars.”

“That’s a lot of peaches,” Tony says. He can hear how off his voice is. But he appreciates that Bucky’s keeping it together since Tony can’t seem to make that work.

“We can eat them while you show me what you found,” Bucky says. “Whoever I was before, it can’t be worse than who I was with Hydra,”

“It’s not bad,” Tony says. “It’s good. Really good.”

“Then why are you upset?” Bucky asks.

“Just not sure after all this, I’ll get to keep you,” Tony admits. “And I’m selfish and terrible and I don’t deserve you and this just proves it.”

“I never met anybody who could count so many chickens before they hatched,” Bucky says, scooting over the few inches between them so he could wrap his arm around Tony and pull him close. “Okay, come on, let’s have it.”

“Jarvis, unmute. Show us what you’ve got, fullscreen.”

The pictures start to fill in, one after the other. Jarvis has put up a timeline, too, and both their phones vibrate to signal downloads of more information. It’s all there. Everything Tony’d seen and more.

Bucky’s eyes are fixed on the police booking photo. A blue-eyed seventeen year old stares back. Next to him, there’s the booking photo of Steve from that same fight.

“I knew him,” Bucky says.

“Looks like,” Tony agrees.

“We could read all this,” Bucky says. “Or we can get in the jet and go find Steve and get this all firsthand.”

“If that’s what you want,” Tony says.

He means it. He’ll do whatever Bucky wants, even if it means dealing with all this mess that takes everything complicated and escalates it to levels of clustserfuck never before known to man.

Bucky nods. “That’s what I want.”

“Then grab the peaches, Peaches. We’re going on a roadtrip.”

***

Steve’s as surprised to see them at the front door of his DC apartment as they are to be there. Tony’s in his suit. Bucky’s in full gear, too.

“If you’re here about Stark, you were right,” Steve greets. He steps aside to let them in, without any concern at all for why they’ve shown up. “He’s a total asshole. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s working with Hydra already.”

“What?” Tony and Bucky ask in unison.

This is not how Tony saw this conversation going. At all. Fuck his complicated life.

“It makes sense if you think about it,” Steve says. “He’s got to know about these weapons you’re destroying but he hasn’t lifted a finger to help. He’s all but disappeared from the public eye. He’s out walking around as a free man while every other top scientist in the world is begging for a security detail. Something doesn’t add up.”

“Guy’s a dick, but he’s not Hydra,” Bucky says. “And that’s not what we came to talk about. There’s something else. Something bigger. Probably. We can get back to Stark later.”

God, Tony admires Bucky’s ability to plow through awkward conversations and get right to the point. Especially now that Cap was making all sorts of assumptions about Tony Stark that are no doubt going to bite them on the ass later.

“You wanna have a seat?” Steve asks.

Bucky nods and sits on the couch. Tony sits down next to him (awkwardly since the suit is not great for couches) and Steve takes a chair nearby.

“What can I do for you?”

“You know I belonged to Hydra,” Bucky says.

They’ve never discussed it as a group, but it’s not like the Winter Soldier didn’t have a reputation. He was more of a ghost story than anything but Hawkeye and Black Widow had given each other knowing looks the first time they’d met him, and no doubt they’d shared the information with their team.

“I do,” Steve agrees. “And I know you weren’t there willingly. We did a little digging.”

“How much digging?” Bucky asks.

“Enough to know that whoever you are, they gave you that arm and they gave you the sort of brainwashing it’d take a stronger person than most to break away from.”

So that answers Bucky’s question. They did some digging but they were still a long way off from the big reveal.

“I don’t remember most of it,” Bucky says. “I don’t remember anything past when I was a kid.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve says. There’s genuine empathy in his voice and his expression. “If there’s anything I can do to help.”

“There is,” Bucky agrees.

He reaches up carefully and lowers his chin. It takes a few snaps and a pull to remove the mask, but when he does he looks back up at Steve hesitantly.

“Can you tell me anything about Bucky Barnes?”

Steve’s mouth opens but no words come out. For a full five seconds Steve just stares, tears pooling at the edges of his eyes.

“That you’re him, for starters,” Steve says. “Buck? It’s really you?”

He sounds painfully hopeful. Tony feels like an intruder but he’s not leaving Bucky’s side. Too much could still go wrong, plus Steve’s now looking at Tony’s boyfriend like he’s made of solid gold and Tony’s not so good a person he can avoid the flare of jealousy that springs up inside him.

He’s a super-villain after all. Probably comes with the territory.

“I don’t know if it’s me,” Bucky says. “I don’t remember.”

“Then how--”

“I was doing a little digging of my own,” Tony says. “Looking for stuff about your past and I came across a booking photo from when you were seventeen. I looked at the other police files from that day, wondering if you’d given as good as you got and surprise surprise…” Tony gestures toward Bucky.

“That’s incredible,” Steve says. “Buck-- your parents. They’re gonna flip. And your sisters. Shit, and everyone we ever knew.”

“I don’t-- I don’t know if I want that,” Bucky says, the words coming out hesitant again, like when Tony first met him.

Tony puts a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, hoping it’ll help ground him.

“At least not till I can remember something. If they’ve already mourned me, they might not want me back. Especially like this.”

“They’ll want you back,” Steve says quietly. “No one’s going to care about your arm, or your eyes or anything else. Just that you’re here. God, Buck. You’re here. You’ve been here. All this time.”

“I didn’t know,” Bucky says. “I was hoping maybe you could fill in some blanks. That it might help me remember.”

“Whatever you want,” Steve says. “I’ve got some of our old yearbooks here. Some photos of us in High School in an album somewhere and some pictures from the military, too.”

“Were you two together?” Tony asks.

He really does not mean to say it out loud. Feels like a dick as soon as the words are out of his mouth.

“No,” Steve says. “Just friends. Best friends. Practically brothers.”

“You should probably hug him then,” Tony suggests. “The two of you are killing me here, staring at each other like two sad forest animals all wooby-eyed and nervous. Go on bunnies. You can do it.”

Steve laughs as Bucky elbows Tony.

“Punk,” Bucky grumbles.

“Can I?” Steve asks. “Hug you? Make sure you’re real?”

Bucky nods and stands and Steve’s on his feet in an instant. Bucky’s still hesitant, but Steve has no problem stepping into his space and wrapping his arms around Bucky and hugging him like for all the world he wouldn’t let him go. At least not until Bucky gives an oomph of protest and pulls away.

“You used to be smaller,” Bucky complains.

Steve nods. “You remember?”

“Not… exactly,” Bucky concedes. “But there’s something familiar about you, beyond these past couple of months. Maybe it’ll come to me. Maybe it won’t. It’s still good to know I’m a person with a name and a past and a family. Hydra didn’t take it all.”

Bucky moves back to Tony and reaches down a hand to him. Tony takes it and Bucky hauls him up to his feet, then leans against Tony’s side. They’re usually pretty careful about how much they touch in front of the team, but Tony can see Bucky’s exhausted. This has taken a lot out of him.

“I think I need some time,” Bucky tells Steve. “I wanna see you again in a day or two, though, if that’s okay?”

“Absolutely,” Steve says.

“And I don’t want you tellin’ anyone I’m back until I’m ready.”

“I won’t,” Steve says.

Tony believes him. No one is that good a liar.

“Not even the team,” Bucky says.

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Steve says. Somehow he manages to even make something that trite sound sincere.

“Is it okay if I text you?” Bucky asks Steve. “If I have questions or just… I guess if I want to catch up?”

"Yes," Steve says, with heaps of enthusiasm. With the tone of a person who's gonna do nothing but stare at his phone for hours on end until Bucky puts him out of his misery and texts.

It’s Bucky who initiates the goodbye hug. It lasts as long as the first hug, but this time Bucky doesn’t seem nearly as nervous about it. Steve walks them to the door, and then Steve drags Tony into a hug too, which is unexpected and makes Tony nearly tip over in the suit.

“Sorry,” Steve apologizes, as he lets go. “This is just a weird day. A good weird. Thank you, Iron Man. Really. Thank you.”

Tony’s not used to that kind of thanks so he just gives Steve a nod as Bucky buckles his mask back into place. They don’t have much to say until they’re in their jet, in the air, and Tony's out of the suit and lounging behind the controls in sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“Find what you were looking for?” Tony asks.

“I already found what I was looking for, a couple of months ago,” Bucky says. “But this is good too. It’s nice knowing I’ve got a past.”

"Even if it isn't all sunshine and roses?"

“Yes,” Bucky says, reaching over to squeeze Tony's hand. “Cause if I've got a past, it means I’ve got a future.”

"Sap."

"You love it."

"Yes. I do."

Chapter Text

“You could break up with Iron Man and start dating Tony Stark,” Tony suggests.

“M’not breaking up with Iron Man,” Bucky drawls, as Tony plops down next to him on the couch of their recently remodeled, Canadian-Lair living room. “The team’s gonna notice that I still stare at your Iron Ass. I’m obvious.”

“So be less obvious,” Tony sighs. “Or date us both. Polyamory. That’s a thing.”

“I’m gonna date Tony Stark and Iron Man at the same time,” Bucky says doubtfully.

“You already do,” Tony reminds him.

“It’s too complicated,” Bucky says. “If I meet my family (((Please see Author's Note if this confuses you.))) I want you to meet my family. You. Not fake Tony Stark.”

“I’m the real Tony Stark,” Tony says. He’s exasperated, but not at Bucky. Just at... at everything.

It’s all so fragile. As long as Steve and the team think Bucky and Iron Man are together there’s no room for Tony Stark. But Iron Man’s a villain. Bucky can’t take a villain home to meet his family.

“I know you are,” Bucky sighs. “I’m sorry. I’m being selfish.”

“No, you aren’t,” Tony says. “You’re being reasonable. I’m being an ass.”

“Mmmmmm... that must explain why you’re looking so good to me right now,” Bucky relents.

He gives Tony that look. That look. It’s criminal. No one should be able to emote sex that way.

“I hate this,” Tony says.

“Wow. Way to shoot a guy down,” Bucky teases. His face changes from smoldering to concerned though. It’s obvious he knows what Tony means.

“No. Not your being sexy. That I like. But the part where being two people has finally caught up with me. I mean, not even considering all the family stuff-- Cap thinks I’m Hydra. Thinks Tony Stark is Hydra. What are we going to do about that?”

Bucky looks appropriately thoughtful. “You’re not gonna like my suggestion.”

“Which is that we tell him the truth?” Tony guesses.

Bucky shrugs. “I don’t think he’ll out you. Hell-- you know how much Steve values you on the team. He basically told Tony Stark to shove his handshake up his ass, after he insulted you. Plus, he said it himself, he wouldn’t have invited us to be Avengers if he thought we were criminals.”

Bucky’s voice is careful and Tony lets out a whiny groan and wiggles himself closer to Bucky, so he’s wedged in under his arm.

“I love my life,” Tony says quietly. “I never thought that’d be true but it is. And I don’t want things to change.”

“It could be a good change,” Bucky says. “And if you don’t want to tell him, we’ll work around it. I can tell my parents I’m not seeing anybody. Or you could come to dinner as Iron Man. Stay in your suit.”

Now Bucky’s smirking and Tony can’t help but laugh at the thought. Picture himself trying to eat meatloaf through a tiny straw and a hole in his armor.

“I’m so fucked,” Tony says.

“No,” Bucky corrects. “In about 5 minutes you’ll be so fucked. Right now? This is just the prelude.”

*

Once the decision is made to bring Steve in on their secret, they ask him to meet them at Tony’s old lair in New York-- the one where Bucky and Tony first met, under those less than ideal circumstances. They’ve already decided it’s Bucky who’s going to do the talking. Tony doesn’t trust himself to stay on topic and it’s important they get this right.

Steve shows up on time, alone, and looking nervously eager. He’s nervous and eager every time he’s around Bucky now. It’s only been a couple of weeks, but Steve’s perpetual excitement that Bucky’s alive hasn’t worn off at all.

“Thanks for coming,” Bucky says.

Tony’s in his full gear, but Bucky’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt and looking handsome and well-adjusted. Steve’s smile lights up his face as Bucky steps aside to let Steve inside.

“Is this where you two live?” Steve asks, his smile faltering when he gets a better look at where they are.

The lair isn’t comfortable. When Tony worked out of this lab he was still spending his evenings at the tower. Nothing about this warehouse laboratory says home.

“No,” Bucky says. “But this is where we met.”

“When Hydra tried to recruit me,” Tony says. The tinny voice processor in the suit disguises his nerves, which Tony’s grateful for, even if the suit is kind of the root of his anxiety in the first place.

“Hydra tried to recruit you too?” Steve asks in surprise. “I guess that makes sense. Iron Man does have the criminal reputation.”

Never mind that Hydra had come to recruit Tony Stark. It’s not a correction Tony’s going to make yet. This whole web of lies is so fucked beyond reason he’s barely sure where the truth starts and stops anymore.

“We want to talk to you about Tony Stark,” Bucky says, as he gestures to where Steve should take a seat.

“Yeah? You did some digging?” Steve guesses.

“We didn’t have to,” Bucky says. “I told you, he’s not Hydra. I know he’s not Hydra because I was the one Hydra sent to recruit him. It was my last mission before I bailed. He told me he wasn’t going to join up with a bunch of evil assholes and then he reminded me that I was human. That I wasn’t just a weapon or an asset or a machine. That I wasn’t their property.”

Steve looks surprised as Bucky plows on.

“Even though I’d already shot at him, and threatened to shoot at someone else, he was willing to give me a way out. To buy me a plane ticket. Promised he’d hide me in one of his safe houses. He was the first-- the only-- person who had ever offered to help me.”

Tony’s never heard Bucky put it like this. He reaches over automatically to rest a gauntlet on Bucky’s arm.

“Shit,” Steve says. Tony watches him process all that. “Okay then,” Steve says. “I guess Stark’s not as bad as I thought. That was good of him. All that. I guess I owe him one.”

Tony’s cheeks burn behind his mask. As much as he might have expected to enjoy hearing Steve say decent things about him (Tony Stark him) it actually feels kind of wrong. Like... like he’s listening at the door during a private conversation.

“I’ll call off Natasha,” Steve adds. “She’s been looking into Stark for me, but there are plenty of other places we could use her attention.”

“That’s not all,” Tony says. “All of this is about to make a lot more sense, or a lot less, I guess.”

“We need your word, though,” Bucky says. “That what we’re about to tell you stays between us. At least until we can figure out how we want to move forward.”

Steve considers Bucky’s words and then nods. “You have it.”

Bucky’s about to speak when Tony decides he just needs to get this over with. To rip the secrets off like a Band-Aid. He lowers the face-plate on his mask.

“Surprise?” Tony asks.

Later, Tony and Bucky will be ridiculously glad that the lair has cameras recording because they will watch Steve’s expression in that moment on repeat for hours. Steve’s eyes grow wide. His mouth opens into a small O. His hands flail. He very nearly falls out of his seat. It’s hilarious.

“What the fuck?” Steve asks. “Oh shit. Oh shit!”

Steve’s bad language helps Tony with the last of his nerves and he smiles.

“I know,” Tony says. “Trust me. I spend a lot of time saying ‘oh shit’ about this.”

“It was you? It’s been you? All this time?” Steve asks.

Tony nods.

“So when I met you. When I met Tony Stark. That was you?” Steve asks for clarification.

“It was me,” Tony says.

“You were such an ass!” Steve laughs. “I almost punched you.”

“I wouldn’t have blamed you if you did,” Tony agreed. “Honestly, when you defended Iron Man, it was all I could do not stand up and hug you. You were right-- about needing to clean up my own mess. I tried to do it through legal means first, but I got no where. Iron Man was my best option.”

Steve shakes his head slowly and his smile is slightly exasperated, but full of understanding.

“You’re right. This all makes a lot more sense,” Steve says. “Tony Stark is definitely not Hydra.”

“And he can’t join the Avengers,” Tony adds.

“Because he’s already an Avenger,” Bucky says.

“Wow,” Steve says. Tony can practically see the gears turning in Steve’s head as he realizes the extent of the mess. “Yeah. This is complicated.”

“It was a lot less complicated before we knew who Bucky was,” Tony says. “But he wants to meet his parents and I do, too. You were going to ask questions if you found out Bucky was dating Tony Stark.”

“Because Tony Stark was an ass to me and very possibly Hydra,” Steve nods.

Tony expected to feel stressed after this conversation but instead he feels lightened. Relieved. Someone else knows now. Someone who can help sort out the rest of this disaster, hopefully.

“You don’t want to tell the team?” Steve asks.

“We don’t trust them like we trust you,” Bucky says.

“You could,” Steve says. “I know you could. But I respect that it’s Iron Man’s decision to make.”

“You can call me Tony when I’m not in my gear,” Tony says.

“I think my brain’s about to break,” Steve confesses.

“Welcome to the club,” Bucky says.

“Well I won’t tell anyone,” Steve says. “And I’ll do whatever you need me to do to smooth things out so the two of you can meet Bucky’s family. I keep in touch with them. I always have.”

“You’re sure they’re going to want me back?” Bucky says.

Steve lets out a slow breath. “Your parents are going to be the happiest people on the planet when they get you back.”

“What about-- I mean, me having a boyfriend?” Bucky asks. “Did they know that? Before?”

“Yes,” Steve says. “You never brought home anyone to meet them but you’d told them you were gay a few years before you were killed. They’re gonna be nothing but thrilled to know you’re alive. ”

Tony thinks Steve sounds more sure about that than he’s ever sounded about anything.

“Could you set it up?” Bucky asks. “And explain-- we’ve got to keep me quiet. I don’t want to end up in the newspapers. Hydra could suspect and It’ll just put them in danger.”

“I’ll take care of everything,” Steve says.

He does.

*

After Steve breaks the happy news to Bucky’s parents, they want to see him right away. Of course they do. And Bucky had already decided the safest and most discreet place for that to happen is the privacy of Stark Tower mid-afternoon. With so many people in and out of the building, Bucky’s parents won’t get any notice. Jarvis will take care of their security passes, and make it look like they’re visiting the benevolence foundation offices, when in fact the elevator will take them up to the penthouse instead.

Tony’s never seen Bucky so nervous. Tony steps up behind him and wraps both arms around Bucky’s waist and hugs him before kissing his shoulder a few times. Neither of them can ever resist physical comfort.

“Steve wouldn’t have told you it’d be fine if that wasn’t true,” Tony reminds him.

“Steve always thinks shit’s gonna be fine,” Bucky grumbles. “He invited a Hydra agent and a Super Villain to join his crime fighting gang. Who does that?”

Tony smiles. “I love it when you call me a Super Villain.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “You would, kitten.”

They’re interrupted by Jarvis. “Sirs, Bucky’s parents are on their way up.”

Bucky takes a deep breath. “What if I’m different? What if they don’t like me?”

Tony shakes his head. “You’re impossible not to like. I can’t say I know how this is going to go, but I can say with absolute confidence I’ve never met anyone as likeable as you.”

Bucky looks doubtful as the elevator dings to indicate visitors. It opens, and Bucky's parents are revealed.

Tony sees the resemblance right away. Bucky’s mom is a looker and his dad’s got the same eyes and the same easy smile. They rush to him with exclamations of delight and it turns out days of worry were for absolute naught. They are nothing but happy. They are beyond thrilled. Neither of them let go of Bucky for a long time.

When they do, it’s for introductions.

“Mom... dad,” Bucky says hesitantly. “This is Tony. He’s the reason I’m here. He... rescued me.”

Tony reaches out his hand. “Bucky’s giving me a lot of credit I don't deserve. He rescued himself. I was just-- there.”

It doesn’t matter. Tony’s pulled into hugs and thanks and Steve’s already explained to Bucky’s parents that Bucky and Tony are dating so it never even comes up. Bucky’s parents are careful not to ask too many questions. Mostly they talk about the rest of the family and about Bucky as a kid, while Tony and Bucky sit close on the couch listening.

It’s a good visit. Bucky’s parents are kind and undemanding. They get the need for discretion and only hope that in the future Tony and Bucky will be able to come visit the house. Bucky gets their phone numbers so they can text and call. When they leave, it’s a little sad. Tony won’t mind seeing them more often.

“That was...” Bucky trails off.

Tony understands. “Intense?”

Bucky nods. “And good. They... they’re good people. I wish I felt like I deserve them...”

“Give it time,” Tony encourages. “Think about where you were when I met you compared to where you are now.”

Bucky nods, but Tony can see how unsure he is. It’s really not so different than those first days. The quiet. The averted eyes. Now, though, Tony doesn’t hesitate to reach out and touch him. He lets his fingers close around Bucky’s metal wrist and pulls him closer.

“You want to know what I know?” Tony asks.

“Probably not but you’re gonna tell me anyway,” Bucky grumbles.

He doesn’t pull away. If anything he leans into Tony’s hug like he’s desperate for it.

“You deserve them,” Tony says, before pressing a kiss to the side of Bucky’s head.

That’s it. That’s all. He knows if he tries to explain Bucky’s gonna have reasons. So he doesn’t try. He hugs him for a long time and only lets go when Bucky pulls away.

“M’hungry,” Bucky says.

“Lucky for you then that your boyfriend already instructed Jarvis to order us pizza as soon as your parents left. It should be here--”

“In approximately seven minutes,” Jarvis chimes in.

“And there’s beer in the fridge,” Tony adds. “Figured no matter how things went we could use some comfort food.”

Bucky nods. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

Tony takes an accidental breath, a little too fast, because no actually. They say a lot of “I love it when you...” or “I love how you...” but the “I love you.” Period. Full stop. No, not so much really. Ever.

Tony gives a small shake of his head no.

“I love you,” Bucky says firmly. “All this other-- stuff. It’s big but I can deal with it because I’ve got you.”

“I love you, too,” Tony says, the words slipping easily because he does. They’ve both known it for ages and yet it feels different hearing the words out loud. Spoken with absolutely no doubt or fear. “And I think... I think you’re right. About the big stuff. We’ve got each other. Let’s tell the gang. Let’s stop living a lie so we can start living a truth.”

“You’re such a sap,” Bucky complains, stealing Tony’s usually line.

“And you love me for it.” Tony says.

“Yeah, I do.”

*

When Tony drops his face-plate, there are groans all around. Not unhappy groans, by any means. Just groans.

Tony and Bucky realize why when Clint stands, yells BOOYAH and then holds his hand out flat.

“Pay up, bitches!” he declares. “I so called this one!”

There are more groans as Bruce and Natasha pull out cash, and Thor pats his pockets and pulls out a bright blue jewel the size of a marble.

“Wait-- so Barton guessed it?” Tony asks.

“I’ve been saying it all along,” Clint says. “But Nat was convinced you were Bruce Wayne.”

Natasha shrugs. “You know one eccentric vigilante billionaire, you know them all.” She winks at Tony and give the suit a pat as she walks past him to hand her money to Clint.

“What about you Dr. Banner?” Bucky asks. “Who’d you think he was?”

“I didn’t think it was any of our business,” Bruce says, handing a ten dollar bill to Clint. “So I guessed Stephen Hawking with a remote control.”

That brings a grin to Tony’s face. “You think I’m that smart?”

“I think you know the answer to that without me having to say,” Bruce hedges. He’s smiling too.

No one’s upset. No one’s too terribly shocked. And they’re all quick to swear themselves to secrecy. Iron Man was a good teammate, and they all seem to think Tony will be too.

“So what about you Rogers?” Natasha asks. “How long have you known?”

“A little over a week,” Steve confesses.

“You should have seen his face,” Bucky laughs.

“Actually-- if you give me a minute, they can,” Tony reminds him.

Steve groans. “Seriously, Tony?”

“Seriously, Steve,” Tony returns with a grin.

He taps a few commands into the panel on his suit and the conference room display lights up with Steve’s hilarious reaction on loop.

“Oh this is incredible,” Bruce whispers in awe.

Bucky joins the rest to watch the video and laugh as Tony slips back a few steps to stand next to Steve.

“Out of curiosity, who’d you think I was?” Tony asks.

“I never had a real guess,” Steve admits. “But I always knew you weren’t a villain.”

“Super Villain,” Tony corrects with a smile.

“Riiiiiiight,” Steve drawls.

Bucky seems to notice that Tony’s stepped back and he ventures away from the still laughing Avengers to join them.

“You trying to steal my man, Rogers?” Bucky asks, sliding his arm around Tony’s back, despite the bulk of the suit.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Steve says. “If nothing else I don’t want to face the wrath of your mom. She couldn’t stop talking about Tony, when she called me the other night after you saw them. She’s already planning a wedding. If you were worried at all they weren’t going to accept you exactly like you are-- I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. They’re... ecstatic... Happier than I’ve heard them in years...”

Steve pauses and Tony realizes it’s because he’s getting a little choked up.

“I’m surrounded by saps,” Bucky complains, but he lets go of Tony to drag Steve into a hug. The motion catches the attention of the rest of the gang.

“Bro hugs!” Clint shouts and all but tosses himself onto Steve and Bucky. And then everyone laughs when it becomes clear no one else intends to join them.

“Not a bro,” Natasha says.

“Not a hugger,” Bruce adds quickly.

“Am a bro and a hugger, but would crush all three of you!” Thor declares cheerfully.

“I don’t share,” Tony says, reaching over to take Bucky’s hand and using the bulk of the suit to tug him out of Clint’s grip and drag him (very willingly) back into his arms.

“And I think it’s time we start the meeting,” Steve says. “Unless the two of you have any more announcements you’d like to make?”

Bucky and Tony meet each other's’ eyes and shake their heads no in unison.

Their secrets are out, their old lives are in the past, and there’s nothing but blue skies (and trouncing HYDRA) ahead. Life is good.

Apparently some days the bad guys do get the happy ending. Who'd have guessed?