Chapter Text
“It’s Spider-Man.” Peter Parker, crouched on the outside of a building, groaned. “Spider-Man. With a hyphen. I can tell you’re not using it.”
“How?” The man, arms webbed to the building across the street, made a face. “I’m saying your name, dude. There’s no difference between Spiderman and Spider-Man.”
“There!” Peter pointed at him. “Can’t you hear it?”
“Nah dude. You might wanna look at getting admitted somewhere.”
“No offence, Mr Bad Guy, but I’m not gonna take advice like that if it’s coming from a criminal.” The man shrugged, and Peter looked to the distance, police sirens getting louder. “Look, the cops’ll be here in a minute. They don’t like me, so I’m just gonna head out now.”
Swinging out onto the rooftop, a flash of light caught Peter’s eye—the Human Torch, weaving through the skies of New York, letters forming in the sky behind him.
SPIDEY – USUAL PLACE?
Peter grinned, and swung down into the streets, heading straight towards the Statue of Liberty; their usual place. Crime could wait for a minute.
“Johnny.” Peter swung onto Liberty’s crown, arms crossing his chest as he stared down the Human Torch—Spider-Man’s best friend—also known as Johnny Storm—Peter Parker’s best friend. Except for the small, teeny-tiny fact that Johnny Storm did not know his best friend Peter Parker was secretly also his best friend Spider-Man.
“Spidey!” Johnny’s face lit up—not literally, although he could do that if he wanted to—as he turned around to meet Peter’s eyes. “Just the man I was looking for.”
“Yeah?” Peter’s eyes widened in his mask—the closest thing he could do to an eyebrow raise. “What’s up?”
“You don’t have any social media, do you?”
“...No?” Peter knew exactly where this was going. “Spider-Man does not.”
“What if…?”
“No.”
“Cmon.”
“No.”
“It’d be fun.”
“No.”
“Spidey, c'mon.” Johnny leant over to sling his arm around Peter’s shoulders. “Imagine the two of us, all over the internet; we’d be iconic.”
“And do what?” Peter laughed. “Post cool photos fighting crime?”
“People care. They care about superheroes. We’re celebrities to them; they’d love to see us have public social media accounts—to interact with them outside of this.”
“You are a celebrity.” Peter corrected him. “Spider-Man is not.”
“New York loves you though.”
norah [nat’s version] @blackkwidow
okay so i have tea. we all KNOW spider-man and the human torch are fucking right? like we see those booty calls all the time. but, i go to school with johnny, right. and he has this big fat crush on this guy named peter, who’s his best friend. (1/?)
➢ norah [nat’s version] @blackkwidow
now, peter’s like this big nerd and he’s dorky but he’s cute so i totally get johnny. johnny’s had this crush on peter for FOREVER. and it’s so obvious. started before he started sending spidey those messages too. but here’s where it gets messy: (2/?)
➢ norah [nat’s version] @blackkwidow
peter is a photography. he works for the daily bugle. every single photograph you have ever seen of spider-man and gone ‘WOW’ is most likely peter’s work. he definitely knows spider-man personally, and i used to think it was just through johnny but… (3/?)
➢ norah [nat’s version] @blackkwidow
i was doing the maths right, and peter’s been photographing spider-man since BEFORE johnny moved to our school. before johnny went to space, too. peter’s also SUPER weird about spidey - his other friends are in the spidey fan clubs and HE ISNT? (4/?)
➢ norah [nat’s version] @blackkwidow
anyway. i think theres a complex love triangle going on here. or polyamory. could be either tbh. (5/5)
➢ flying flynn @wannabefalc
@blackkwidow firstly, YOU GO TO SCHOOL WITH JOHNNY STORM HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS???? and secondly… wtf norah i need more info.
➢ norah [nat’s version] @blackkwidow
@flyingflynn TRUST ME when i say theres shit going on.
➢ Fiona Jay @fionaajay
@blackkwidow no way! my parents buy the bugle and they always have the best shots of spidey
“Peter!”
Johnny’s voice echoed down the hallway, and Peter turned from his locker, books clutched to his chest.
If someone had told him a year prior that Johnny Storm—the Human Torch, the first (debatable) teenage superhero, a guy who had been on the cover of TIME Magazine—would be one of his best friends, he would’ve slapped them in the face. Johnny being his friend—being Peter Parker’s friend—was weird.
Although, he did know Tony Stark personally.
Through Spider-Man, though. Not because of Peter Parker.
Johnny—on the other hand—was friends with Peter Parker for reasons other than Spider-Man.
And currently, he was sprinting down Midtown High’s hallway like a man on fire, calling out Peter’s name. Except he wasn’t on fire. Unusually so, but Midtown had implemented a new rule when Johnny had moved there: no lighting yourself—or anyone else—on fire.
“Peter, Peter, Peter,” Johnny rambled, slowing down as he reached Peter. “Just the pretty boy I was looking for.”
“Um,” Peter frowned.
“I only meant that I need your help?” Johnny made a face. “I’m trying to convince Spider-Man to make a Twitter account. He keeps saying no, but—you know him, right?”
“...No.”
“How do you always get those good shots of him if he doesn’t call you ahead of time?”
“I don’t know him.”
“Peter.”
“Johnny.”
“Peter Parker.”
“Johnny Storm.”
“Peter Benjamin Parker.” Johnny narrowed his eyes, mischief shining through his small smile.
“Jonathan Lowell Spencer—”
“Woah, woah, woah.” Johnny cut Peter off with a wave of his hands. “How do you know my full name?”
“How do you know my full name?” Peter countered and Johnny shrugged.
“I’m a superhero.”
“Oh, are you now?” Peter feigned innocence. There was nothing more funny than being deathly sarcastic with Johnny. “I never knew that.”
“Very funny.”
Johnny slung his arm around Peter’s shoulders as he closed his locker, the two of them walking down towards English class.
“Can you just talk to him next time you see him?” Johnny attempted puppy dog eyes. It didn’t work.
“Just make your own Twitter account if you want one so badly.” Peter shrugged. “You don’t need Spidey to do everything.”
“That’s the problem.” Johnny steered Peter towards the opened door of their classroom. “Sue said I can’t be irresponsible on Twitter unless someone agrees to do it with me—and supervise.”
“So ask another hero?” Peter plopped down at his desk, Johnny sitting beside him as usual. They sat at the back of English, neither of them caring too much for the subject for it to keep their attention.
“Ben, Reed, and Sue all said no.” Johnny started, counting the names on his fingers. “Stark isn’t suitable—even though he already has Twitter—and both War Machine and Vision said no. The rest are—you know.”
“War criminals.” Peter muttered, eyes darting over to the poster of the Steve Rogers Biography Ms Sinclair had hung on the wall. “For no real reason.”
“You get it!” Johnny exclaimed. “See now why I need Spidey to do it?”
“Not really.” Peter shrugged. “It’s just Twitter.”
“You have Twitter.”
“I only use it to post photos though. Not as—whatever the hell you wanna do with it.”
“Have fun?” Johnny sighed. “I miss being online. Sue made me delete all my accounts when we came back from space. The closest thing I have is the Fantastic Four accounts, and I’m not allowed to post on them. Ever.”
“...Just make a spam? Do it under a fake name?”
“Wait.”
jon loves spooderman @spideysbiggestfan
hi im jon and this is my application to be your new favourite twt user.
➢ beter @peterwithab
@spideysbiggestfan this isn’t what i meant, but sure.
➢ jon loves spooderman @spideysbiggestfan
@peterwithab THEN WHAT DID YOU MEAN???
➢ beter @peterwithab
@spideysbiggestfan anything but this
➢ flying flynn @wannabefalc
@spideysbiggestfan okay wait u seem cool. moots?
➢ jon loves spooderman @spideysbiggestfan
@wannabefalc YES HELLO!!!!
“Johnny.”
Oh shit.
Sue didn’t sound mad, she just sounded… disappointed? Which was honestly worse than mad, if it’s coming from Sue.
“Yes?” Johnny called out, hopefully optimistic that it wasn’t what he was thinking, as Sue let herself into his room, shutting the door firmly behind her.
He’d come home from school that afternoon excited, ignoring Reed as he ran through the living room—although that was pretty normal behaviour, he’d argue—and thrown himself into his room ready to make a Twitter account.
Choosing the name Jon—close enough to Johnny that it still felt right, but far enough away as to not be suspicious—Johnny had quickly followed Peter, MJ, and Ned, before tweeting a few times.
He’d found a few mutals already; loads of Spidey fans, a few Avengers fans, and one or two Fantastic Four fans—he would try to keep his distance though; it felt a bit weird following people who were fans of him.
“You didn’t manage to convince Spider-Man, did you?”
Johnny sighed as Sue sat down cross-legged on his bed beside him. “No.”
“And what did you do…?”
“Nothing.”
Sue raised one perfect eyebrow, and Johnny sighed, flopping back onto his bed dramatically.
“C’mon Sue. I feel so left out! Everyone else my age has social media—they spend all their time on it! And you want me to not do that, because you can’t trust me?”
“It’s not that I can’t trust you,” Sue smiled sadly at him. “It’s just that we have worked so hard on our image, and we can’t afford to mess it up now. That we work with Spider-Man sometimes is something the government is already super wary about. We can’t afford a slip up.”
“The Accords are bullshit.”
“Yes they are, but we still have to follow their rules.”
“And their rules say no social media?” Johnny laughed bitterly. “No social media for the teenager; no! Let him be left out, the laughing stock of schools.”
“Johnny.” Sue shrugged. “We need to be careful.”
“Peter said I should make it under a fake name.” Johnny said quickly, sitting up. “Then no one knows it’s me.”
“You’re throwing Peter under the bus now?”
“Is he your favourite? Why is Peter your favourite?”
Sue shook her head. “Reed and I are giving you a week. If you can prove that you can behave yourself online, we’ll let you reveal your identity. And we’ll be watching.”
jon loves spooderman @spideysbiggestfan
have i ever mentioned that i LOVE spider-man. i even use the hyphen.
➢ flying flynn @wannabefalc
@spideysbiggestfan the dudes probably in love with you for that
➢ norah [nat’s version] @blackkwidow
@spideysbiggestfan @wannabefalc nah soz jon spideys def fucking johnny storm. at least you share a name with him??
➢ jon loves spooderman @spideysbiggestfan
@wannabefalc @blackkwidow wait what. spider-man likes johnny storm?
➢ flying flynn @wannabefalc
@spideysbiggestfan @blackkwidow dude have u not seen those bootycalls?
jon loves spooderman @spideysbiggestfan
apparently spider-man and the human torch are fucking. my life is a lie.
➢ beter @peterwithab
@spideysbiggestfan sorry what now.
➢ jon loves spooderman @spideysbiggestfan
@peterwithab bro you photograph spidey! does he like johnny????
➢ beter @peterwithab
@spideysbiggestfan UM I DON’T KNOW?