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Obikin Big Bang (2016)
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Published:
2016-05-20
Updated:
2016-11-21
Words:
2,201
Chapters:
2/?
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42
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214
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Like An Altar Loves A Sacrifice

Summary:

Obi-Wan hasn't been on the light side of the force in a long time. In which the team have always been a sith and the galaxy never stood a chance.

Notes:

This work is heavily inspired by a gif set I saw on tumblr. http://watson-sighs-and-tuts.tumblr.com/post/141908511464/im-starting-to-enjoy-playing-the-villain-or

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Prologue: The Empitiness Between Us

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan did not understand how it came to be like this between the two of them. It had always been just them against the world and now it had turned out to be Obi-Wan against Anakin.

Obi-Wan against Anakin.

As if the two of them were each other's enemy.

Obi wan honestly didn't know how it came to be like this.

Obi-Wan tried to make a final effort in stopping this “Anakin, please stop this madness! I am not your enemy. Please remember who the real enemy is!”

For a moment Anakin hesitated. Their was anguished look in his eyes that gave every indication that he didn't want this anymore than Obi-Wan did, but just as fast as that look came it left. Anakin had already made his decision and he would stand by it.

Anakin swallowed, but his voice never faltered as he said, “As far as I'm concerned you're the only enemy I see here. I wasn't the one who walked away.” And really that's all it came down to. He had walked away and Anakin didn't, and now they were both paying the price for that.

Obi-Wan supposed that he couldn't fault Anakin for his hatred. After all he had promised him that he wouldn't hurt him like so many others had. He promised he wouldn't betray the trust he so readily gave him, and really that was what it came down to. Trust. The trust they have in each other.

No, the trust they had in each other, Obi-Wan thought bitterly, because while he still trusted Anakin more than anyone or anything else in the galaxy the same could not be said for Anakin. Honestly, though whose fault was that if not his own?

The crimson light of their lightsabers crash against each other and this dance is nothing more than years of pent up anger and regret. The way they fight is strangely intimate. It's not just because of how familiar they are with each other that they know the exact move the other will make. It's also the way they use their bodies when they fight. Their fight turns physical by the way they use their hands to grab onto each other and the physicality of the fight

They both know that only one of them will walk away from this fight alive, and for the first time in an awfully long time, Obi-Wan isn't entirely sure that he will be the one to win this fight. He wasn't sure if he actually wanted to win-not if meant hurting Anakin. Although, he supposes that it was too late for that, he had already hurt Anakin time and time again and he didn’t know if Anakin could forgive him so easily this time.

Anakin knocked him down with one blown and Obi-Wan went crashing down against the jagged rocks. Anakin stand over him. Obi-Wan wonders if Anakin regrets what has become of them. He supposes that they both have regrets but he doesn't think that he will ever regret knowing Anakin, loving Anakin and his view of the galaxy.

Obi-Wan looks up at him a satisfied smile gracing his lips. “I must say, Anakin, that you have done well. I don't think you've ever been able to knock me down. You've gotten better.” He said in a proud voice.

Anakin looks at him and there's an odd look in his eyes, and with a bittersweet tone he said, “I had an amazing master who taught me more than I could have possibly imagine.” Had. So it really was all in the past now. Everything between was nothing more than a painful memory for Anakin, and as far as Anakin was concerned it was all just a mistake that he would learn from.

Anakin sighed and with Obi-Wan still on the ground he ignited his lightsaber and Obi-Wan's last thoughts were that he never knew Anakin could be so beautiful with the Crimson lightsaber illuminated his face. The darkness embracing him and for a second he thought that he looked ethereal, something of a fantasy with the way he held himself.

Anakin looked away and closed his eyes as he sighed. He looked back at Obi-Wan and for a second he regretted everything that came to be between them. He didn't want it to end like this. He looked at him and whispered, “I am sorry.”

Obi-Wan just smiled and said, “Don't you ever dare be sorry. You have nothing to apologize for, dear one.” With that Anakin steeled himself and brought his lightsaber down striking at his very heart.

 

Perhaps we should start from the beginning

Chapter 2: Do You Walk In The Shadows of Men Who Sold Their Lives To A Dream?

Summary:

Freedom, he thinks, is just a cruel dream.

Notes:

Holy shit I'm so sorry for such a late update but life got crazy for me after I posted the first chapter. I had trouble with this chapter because I kept thinking of how Obi-Wan got to where he is which will be revealed in the next chapter. I rewrote this chapter about 10 times because each version just felt off??? But at last I finally decided on this one because this one was the one I liked the most and I hope y'all like it!:)

The chapter tittle is from the song Glitter and Gold by Barnes Courtney which is the song I was listening to when I wrote this chapter.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

To begin with Anakin had always dreamt of a life beyond the harsh desert and the reminder that he did not belong to himself. A life away from his and his mother’s enslavement. A life where he could be free from the chains that hold him down and keep him from living. He learned a long time ago that it's better to dream of freedom, and some days the dreams are the only thing that keep most of them fighting for their freedom. He rarely admits it but those dreams are what keeps him going because he knows one day that those dreams will become a reality.

He imagines a thousand different lives that could have been possible for him. Lives where he and his mother are free and traveling through the stars. Lives where they get to live without having to live with the fear of being separated. Lives where they don't know Tatooine as their home. Lives where they could have possibly come to love Tatooine and not have to associate it with screams of agony and hunger and the blood that stains the sand. He often wonders how different his life could have been if his mother and him had been born free and never knew the tragedy of enslavement. He can't help but wonder if there is a life out there that is worse than the one he is currently living. Anakin doesn't dare to dwell on the life where he was born free and could choose to be anything he wanted. He wonders if any of the other slaves dream of freedom, but he doubts it because most of them have grown to believe that freedom is nothing more than a myth.

He's not entirely sure if he believes that.

 

It starts like this with Obi-Wan:

He is young and he is angry and he dreams of being good enough. There is nothing he wants more in his life than to be the absolute best that he can be in order to protect those who can’t protect themselves. He will never admit it to anyone, he reluctantly admits it to himself, that he dreams of freedom. He dreams of a life where there is peace and honesty among the galaxy. He dreams about being free to make his own choices. He knows though that those are only dreams because there is no turning back from the life of a jedi. Afterall being a Jedi is the only thing that he can do, it's the only thing he can be. He made that choice.

It was his choice.

Or at least that's what he tells himself.

At night, Obi-Wan dreams of blood stained sand and the harsh desert light. He doesn’t know what his dreams could mean but he's hesitant to bring them up to anyone in the order. He can't help but be a bit protective of the desert dreams and the burning suns. Occasionally he will catch a glimpse of blonde hair and the scent of despair in the howling wind. Afterall, they're just dreams and no harm has ever came from dreaming. The dreams stop for a while and he doesn't know if the desert boy is real but if he is than he hopes he finds the freedom and peace he seems to be looking for.

 

This is how it continues for Anakin:

He enters pod races and works in other other shops in hopes that someday he'll have enough money to buy both his and his mother’s freedom. He nearly has enough to buy their freedom and he has never felt more alive than in this moment. All the dreams Anakin used to have of finally gaining his freedom are now a close reality and he has never been happier in his life.

The thing is that happiness on Tatooine doesn't last long and their freedom is taken from them before they even had it.

Someone raids their home while his mother and him are out in town. Anakin is frozen and it feels like his reality is shattering around him into thousands of little shards. He wanders through the ruined mess and hopes to whatever deities are listening that their money is still hidden. Anakin runs down to where he has their money buried and just as he feared it's all gone. He can distantly hear his mother calling his name, but he can't answer-he can't bring himself to face her and the disappointment that mirrors his. He looks up to her and feel the tears of anger run down his face and his entire body shakes with frustration. He feels something break inside him as he feels his mother’s tears dampen his hard and all he can do is hold on to her.

Freedom, he thinks, is nothing but a cruel dream. Anakin has dreamt of his freedom more times than he cared to remember and he feels like he should have known he was only setting himself up to fail.

 

So it goes like this for Obi-Wan:

All his life the only thing he wanted to be more than anything else in the entire galaxy was to be a Jedi. He practices again and again in the hopes that someone will see his potential of being a great jedi. The years come and go and Obi-Wan starts to doubt that he has what it takes to be a Jedi. He doesn’t believe that what he does will ever be good enough

All his hard work goes to a standstill when he gets sent to the Agricorp. They don't need to tell him that he has no control over his emotions and it is unbecoming of a Jedi to be ruled by their feelings.

The feeling of disillusionment spreads like wildfire burning everything down to miserable ashes. His heart and dreams are set ablaze. He hopes against his better judgment that this is all a horrible dream and that he'll wake up.

 

He doesn’t wake up and nothing is alright.

He's looking out of the window from his shuttle and watches the temple fade away like his life is. The reality of the situation comes crashing down around him as he realizes that he's never going to be a Jedi. He isn't a Jedi and he never will be and something inside him breaks at the thought.

Life, he thinks, is cruel and merciless.

And lonely. Life is definitely lonely and Obi-Wan has never felt more alone than in that moment.

Obi-Wan doesn't notice that he's crying until he feels his tears drip onto his hands.

His worst fear has come to life, he's not good enough in the eyes of those he considers his family. If even they do not want him then who would?

What Obi-Wan doesn't know is that someone will see his potential of being something better than anyone could have imagined. Someone will see him and think he's worthy and wonder how anyone could have left someone with so much light in them to be smothered by the darkness Someone is going to break him and ruin him until he's nothing but a shadow that can barely stand to see his reflection. Someone will see him and think he's perfect but he'll suffer from it. Someone will take him and make a weapon out of him.

 

This is how things are:

Anakin has only ever known the blood stained sand, harsh desert light, and the cruel hands of his masters. He's been made to kneel before them and act like they're all some sort of Gods.

Tatooine wasn't meant for people who are soft and are easily broken. It seems perfect for Anakin and his mother because there is power and strength in being soft. Soft people aren't as easily broken. Anakin for all his kindness and softness has never broken for anyone and if he can help he'll never give anyone the satisfaction.

One day he'll stop kneeling at the feet of people who declare themselves his masters.

One day he'll break the shackles that keep enslaved for their own amusement.

Blood stained sand, harsh desert light and cruel hands are the only things he's ever known on Tatooine. It's also what he's made of.

The galaxy likes to forget that people suffer in the cruelest ways in the Outer-Rim, but Anakin doesn't and one day he'll be able to free himself and the rest of his people.

Afterall, people were never meant to be enslaved and Anakin has never been one to give up on a dream.

It's never just a dream.

Notes:

Thanks for reading and I hope y'all enjoyed it because I know I enjoyed writing it! Kudos and comments are always appreciated! Let me know why you think of this chapter!:)

Originally I was going to have Obi-Wan and Anakin meet in this chapter but I felt like it wouldn't fit if that makes sense?

Also the time lines of Anakin and Obi-Wan's don't match, as in what they're both experiencing in this chapter isn't happening at the same time if anyone was wondering about that!:)

Notes:

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it so far! Please comment if you can!:)
I am pumpkinanakin.tumblr.com over on tumblr.