Archive of Our Own ^beta

Blue Side 

(singing my bloom, back in my room ...) 

     everything changed between us 

     i shout alone, blue 

     pale blue tears well in my eyes 

     because of you, blue ... 

Wooyoung didn’t know how long he had sat at the kitchen table, but by deduction skills and based on the fact that he’d gotten home from work at 4 pm and immediately sat down, unmoving, and that he’d woken up approximately the split second before his second-oldest hyung walked through the front door, at exactly 6 pm … it was a long time.

His face was numb, and the thought of speaking to Hongjoong about quite literally anything made him want to hide his face and throw up. Fire burned all along his skin, nestling in uncomfortable places like his shoulder blades and the bridge of his nose. His feet ached to get up and flee, but he was locked in place, glued to the wooden chair. His apron and work shoes still clung to his sweaty body, and he could feel the germs of the day sticking to him like burs.

The café manager’s words were echoing around in the omega’s mind, refusing to cease, and he knew he was probably crying by then, despite feeling like he’d run out of tears on the drive home. Deafened, he merely sat there, staring unseeing into the wood grain of the table in front of him. Because there was nothing to do but sit. And wait. And endure the consequences that were sure to rain down sooner rather than later. His hyungs had given him a warning last time he'd gotten in trouble, and he knew if there was one thing they were good at, it was following through. 

Faintly, his wrists itched; he sank into the feeling, welcoming the freezing pain. 

Hongjoong was sure taking his sweet ass time to kick his shoes off and hang up his coat, though, and the itching fire in Wooyoung’s body only grew in intensity until he was sure that if the older boy were to even make the slightest noise in his direction, he would either burst into sobs or punch something.

He knew his scent was giving him away, but he had neither the strength nor the willingness to suppress it any longer, having torn his patch off the second he left work. His hyung would find out soon enough about everything. He might even already know.

Hongjoong set his work bag down in the foyer and padded softly on socked feet down the hall and into the kitchen and living space. His mate Seonghwa and the older three boys had gone out to the markets for groceries for the week, and it was Mingi’s day to take Jongho to his physical therapist appointment. That left Wooyoung and Hongjoong alone in the big house until almost bedtime. If the omega came home on time, which, if he was being honest, Hongjoong couldn't remember the last time that had happened. 

The alpha was humming under his breath, probably a new song he’d been brewing for a while, and he only stuttered when the scent of Wooyoung’s despair hit him, about halfway to the kitchen. He gasped silently and placed a hand over his mouth for a moment before quickly composing himself. Quickening his steps, he rounded the corner to the kitchen, heart hammering anxiously in his chest.

Wooyoung looked so small, sitting at the table, that the older boy could feel his heart breaking in his chest, shattering steadily into tiny pieces. The omega’s scent was billowing out of him in unchecked waves, cascading across the room in rhythmic pulses, and within the wet, slightly chemical smell of summer grasses, there were notes of absolute terror, anguish, and self-hatred. Hongjoong barely stifled a sob at the feelings washing over him through their bond.

It hadn’t been this bad in such a long time, he’d forgotten how bad it actually was. The last few weeks had been rough, sure, but this ... this was different. 

As he walked closer, slowly, he watched Wooyoung try his best to look up, but fail, locked in his own horrible paralysis, weeping silently into the table. The young omega was drenched in sweat, residue of a hard day working at the café in the city, and just the fact that he was still dressed in his apron and work shoes rang loud, dissonant alarm bells in Hongjoong’s head.

The alpha came to stand behind Wooyoung, careful not to overwhelm the boy with too much of his calming pheromones, and placed his hands gently on the chair back.

“Darling.”

He merely murmured the word, nothing else. Underneath his gaze, Wooyoung shuddered, shrinking into himself, his scent souring impossibly deeper. 

The alpha pushed out another douse of calming, soothing scent, closing his eyes and focusing on his energy, not wishing for his omega’s pain and panic to continue for a moment longer than was necessary. His fingers tingled with the desire to pick Wooyoung up in his arms, smother him in kisses, and bring him straight to the nest for a thorough scenting and possibly even a reassuring nip. But the sheer terror that floated relentlessly through the boy’s scent prevented him from doing so. He needed to tread very carefully, lest Wooyoung drop. He'd been doing too much of that lately, another one wouldn't fare well for them, for any of their pack. 

After a long minute, the omega began to move, straightening his shoulders and tipping his head back slowly, until he could cant his face to the side, simultaneously baring his neck and twisting to look his hyung in the eye. His hair was damp with sweat and dangling in front of his eyes, which were red and puffy under heavy, tired lids. His mouth was sealed shut, but his lips quivered in pain. He blinked brokenly up at his hyung, with a low keen gurgling in his throat.

Hongjoong sighed, still pushing his scent onto the boy.

“Darling …” he whispered, staring deep into Wooyoung’s eyes, as if the answer lay hidden between his iris and the sparkle in his pupil.

“… rough day at work?”

Wooyoung let loose a horrible whimper, and his body was finally set free from its paralysis, his arms reaching for Hongjoong, and his rapid breaths shaking his body. Despite the grossness that was smeared all over the front of his apron, Hongjoong spun the chair around and gathered his dongsaeng in his arms, drenching him in his soothing scent.

“It’s alright, I’m here …” he whispered, pressing his lips to the boy’s ear, closing his eyes and concentrating. Wooyoung shook in his embrace, his tears dampening the older boy’s shirtfront.

Once the boy’s sobs had tampered down some twenty minutes later, Hongjoong whispered gently, “Do you want to talk to hyung about it now, or wait until everyone’s home?”

Wooyoung clenched his hands in Hongjoong’s shirt, burying his face deeper into the older boy’s chest. When he spoke, his voice cracked and crinkled, evidence of heavy, harsh emotions coursing through his mind.

“I … I w-wanna wait for Seonghwa hy-hyung, but … but I don’t wanna wait until he gets h-h-home …” he whined, and Hongjoong immediately understood. Wooyoung's need for his hyungs' comfort never trumped his avoidant tendencies, his people-pleasing compulsions, or his fear of disturbing anyone. 

The older boy nodded, and without really changing his position folded comfortingly around the omega, pulled out his phone.

As Wooyoung drifted in and out of exhausted, weepy headspace, through the heavy, black fog, he heard Hongjoong softly whispering into his phone.

“Hi, baby. No, everything’s fine. I just … any chance you can cut your trip short? I know, I’m sorry … no … it’s just, um … Wooyoung-ie isn’t doing very well, and he … he asked for you. Um. Everything’s fine, I’ve got him. But. Uh. Really bad. I’m scared, and I need you, too. Thank you, honey.”

     spring, summer, fall, winter

     always the same feeling, blue 

     i want to go back to the time 

     when i didn't know anything, blue ... 

Three months ago …

Wooyoung was cleaning the espresso machine when one of the younger team leaders, a transfer kid from out of town, came around the corner with an anxious pout on his face. The boy looked close to tears, so Wooyoung dropped his cleaning cloth and nodded encouragingly.

“What’s the matter, Yeonjun-ssi?”

The boy gestured to the sleek, black tablet in his hands, and shakily sighed.

“I …” he cleared his throat and tried again. “I can’t remember the short-cuts for placing the order; Park-nim told me I had to get it in by 4, but … if I follow all the rules, it’ll take me ‘till 8, at the earliest. Can you … do you …?”

The omega nodded, wiping his hands on his apron, and gestured for the tablet. He’d done the order a hundred times before Yeonjun transferred, and he knew the process like the back of his hand. Was he paid to do the order, the job of a much higher-up employee? No. Was he ever thanked for doing the job of a higher-up? No.

Did he ever think it was worth it to complain? No.

“So, you don’t really have to weigh the veggies, or really anything that isn’t meat. Meat is where we lose the most money, so until our numbers look better, weigh the meat and follow the normal process for that. For everything else, though, you can guess and do the mental math, and that will save you so much time. Just take your time counting cans and bags, and you’ll be alright. Run the report at the end, highlight the anomalies, do a quick double-check on the wonky numbers, and then you’re all set.”

Wooyoung handed Yeonjun the tablet back after demonstrating how to take some short-cuts on the ordering form, and the younger boy bowed deeply.

“Thank you, Wooyoung-ssi. I’m so sorry to bother you.”

The omega fondly patted the boy’s shoulder, smiling softly. The cold air of the walk-in fans was beginning to give him goosebumps, but it was important that he soothe this kid’s poor nerves. It couldn’t be easy working under Park-nim.

“Of course, it’s no worries. You can always come to me, and I will help you in any way I can. Promise.”

Before Yeonjun could respond, the walk-in cooler doors slammed open, and Park-nim growled at them,

“You two. My office, now.”

Wooyoung did his best to stand between the manager and Yeonjun, doing everything he could to protect the boy from Park-nim’s wrath. But the office was tiny and cramped, and he hunched his shoulders to avoid knocking anything off shelves and hooks, folding his hands submissively in front of him as they were lectured.

“You, Young-ssi,” Park-nim pointed a crooked finger under Wooyoung’s chin, snarling, “You’ve been here for how long? Three, four years now? And you can’t handle doing your own fucking job? You have to leave your station and do quite literally everything else!? Leave the boy alone! Do your job!!”

Wooyoung winced at the words, the volume of the man’s scratchy voice, and the proximity. He was starting to get overwhelmed, he couldn’t even begin to deduce what it was that he’d done wrong, and how to brace himself for his punishment. His upper lip was sweaty, and he had to close his eyes to avoid the sting. He’d just been trying to help? And the line was dead, even if he’d stayed at his station, he’d be twiddling his thumbs! He couldn’t see anything wrong with that, but … it wasn’t worth the fight. He’d only be increasing his punishment in the end. He stayed still, nodding, ashamed.

Yeonjun was quivering next to him, his breathing quick and panicked. Wooyoung ached to reach out and squeeze the boy’s hand, assure him that this was just what it was like working under Park-nim. There was a mix of sour scents filling the office slowly, the scent patches they all wore only working up to a point.

“And you, you little fool,” Park-nim then swung his finger to Yeonjun, who all but darted to hide behind Wooyoung.

“When you transferred, they told me you were well-performing. Did they lie? Because all you’ve done since you got here is snivel and whine and ask questions! If you can’t handle your job, then you’re no better off than Wooyoung! You both might as well fuck off!”

The fuming man shooed them out of the office and slammed the door. Yeonjun sighed, his eyes red and blurry, and leaned against the wall. Wooyoung watched him with growing sympathy, and after a while, he murmured softly,

“You gonna be okay?”

The younger boy inhaled deeply and nodded. “I need this job, I need the money for school. I can’t quit because of a crotchety old man,” he whimpered, rubbing his eyes with his wrists, and Wooyoung wanted to comfort him, but he didn’t want to cross any boundaries.

Humming thoughtfully, the omega stuffed his hands in his pockets. “You want my advice?”

Yeonjun nodded weakly, still hiding behind his hands.

“Just keep your head down and learn to stifle your scent. He tends to feed off of whatever emotion you give him, like fire on gasoline,” he whispered, and began walking back to the line.

The rest of the day went by in a deadly quiet. Yeonjun completed the order by 3:50 pm, sniffling every few minutes. Wooyoung managed the line, making drinks and serving pastries while giving small directions to the rest of his team, not too loudly in case Park-nim was around the corner, ready and waiting to pounce on him.

At the end of the day, when Wooyoung was getting ready to leave, he cornered Yeonjun, who was cleaning the floor by the mop sink in the back of the building, likely his punishment given to him by Park-nim after their scolding. Silently, he held his hand out and pulled the young team lead to his feet. He pulled out his phone, opening it to his contacts, and handed it to the boy, who, with trembling fingers, put in his number. Wooyoung immediately texted the boy, who pulled out his phone to read it.

7:49 pm

Unknown number

Text me if you need anything, yeah?

You did good today

Don’t let him get to you

Yeonjun smiled for the first time that day, and nodded, blinking back tears before getting back on his knees to scrub the disgusting floor. If he wasn’t already about to get in trouble for working overtime, Wooyoung would have gotten on the floor immediately and helped him. But he took a deep breath and walked out the back door instead, out into the freezing cold parking lot. He unknowingly welcomed the cold like an old friend with arms wide open. 

That night, after he’d stumbled out of the shower in his pajamas, he glanced at his phone to see a message from his best friend and lover smiling sadly up at him.

9:21 pm

Sannie

Can I still come over? I know you had a bad day but I still want to hold you and sleep with you in my arms is that okay? I won’t even say anything? I’ll be so quiet, I promise.

Wooyoung wiped his eyes and huffed a laugh at the sweetness oozing from the phone in his hands. He quickly typed back before going to put his shower things away.

9:24 pm

 Me

My love, you sleep down the hallway from me, you know

You can come over, I’d like that

I’m sorry for my bad attitude

As he began getting his bed ready for sleep, his phone lit up once more, and he could hear the other boy’s bedroom door opening, soft footsteps following.

9:24 pm

Sannie

I’ll kiss it better

Wooyoung answered the door and sighed. His boyfriend was standing in the hallway in his fuzziest of hoodies, holding three or four stuffies in his hands, as well as a blanket clasped around his shoulders like a child’s superhero cape.

He smiled incorrigibly at Wooyoung and whispered, “… hi, my baby …”

The sweetness of the tone, and the mix of sour emotions that had pulsed through his body like blood throughout the day made Wooyoung weak, and he burst into tears, covering his face and stepping back into his room. San swooped in, shut the door, threw his plushies down on the bed, and gathered the trembling boy in his arms.

True to his word, San stayed quiet, not knowing yet whether Wooyoung required words and conversation or just a grounding touch. He was good like that.

Wrapping his arms firmly around the younger, there was only a small, sad purr that filled the air in the tiny bedroom, Wooyoung having swallowed his cries long ago, tiredly burying his face in San’s shoulder and clinging tightly.

With little difficulty, the Alpha steered Wooyoung in the direction of the bed, turned off the big light, and shut the door. He set the omega down first, standing close enough to still be touching in some way, and slowly wiggled the boy’s hoodie up off his head.

After a long while of simply cuddling beneath the quilts, San breathed, his words echoing slowly along the smooth skin of Wooyoung’s shoulder.

“What happened, my love?”

His heart was pinging loudly in his chest, and he held his breath while waiting for an answer. Maybe the younger had already fallen asleep. Maybe he couldn’t hear San. Maybe he wasn’t –

“I’m just tired,” Wooyoung whispered back wetly, his eyes puffy now from crying and the need for sleep. He shifted so their legs were tucked into the others’ and sighed wearily.

San nodded in the dark, blinking tiredly himself. He wanted to ask more questions, to say more words, to … think more thoughts. But the pheromones circling his head and drifting into his lungs shouted at him, drawing him closer and closer to deep, dreamless sleep. Sleep with his lover in his arms. Sleep with his soon-to-be life-long mate nestled in the space between his shoulder and neck.

He didn’t even remember closing his eyes.

At a little past midnight, the alpha’s eyes flickered open, blinking blankly into the pitch darkness of Wooyoung’s room, unsure of how he’d been awoken. Wooyoung was warm in his arms, limbs twisted up and sticky with sweat, and the boy’s hair had fallen in front of his eyes. Shifting slightly under the blankets, San reached up to smooth his hand over the boy’s brow, and quickly became worried when a soft whine filled his ears at the touch.

“Y-Young-ie?” he whispered, receiving silence in response. Wooyoung merely snuggled closer, his mouth now pressed directly against San’s neck, his breath tickling the sensitive skin there.

Something terrible had been aching in San’s alpha for months, and it was back with a vengeance. He closed his eyes and set his jaw, reining in his desire, and breathing deeply. Wooyoung was simply scenting him in his sleep, it didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean anything.

But, oh, the piece of San that desperately wanted to claim, to keep, to hold … was quickly burning up inside him, and he sighed. It hadn’t gotten this bad since the first time they’d slept together, only a few months after they began dating. It was an insatiable want, bubbling over his skin like lava, and in his tired state, he whined, deep in his throat.

He would wait for Wooyoung. He would wait for the omega to be ready. He could wait. He had to wait. Tears burned in his eyes as he was washed over by the knowledge that he would wait until the stars exploded if that meant Wooyoung was ready for him. 

     the sun shines on the cold 

     and the clouds wrapped around the blue 

     i ride the wind in the sky

     to that place in this moment, blue ... 

“Yeonjun-ah! Code orange, code orange …”

Code orange wasn’t a real thing. The real ones were posted in big, bold letters in the back room and the office, and they were taken seriously. Things like the building being on fire.

Code orange was something that Changbin and Wooyoung made up their first summer, when a crazy old lady with orange hair used to frequent the café and drive them insane with her attitude and complaints. By far, the worst customer either of them had ever dealt with. Therefore, code orange was a cue for a bat-shit-crazy-customer-at-my-register cry for help.

“This is ridiculous. I can’t speak to you. Take your fucking muffins, here.”

The silky voice wasn’t nearly a balm for the paper bag of stale muffins and full cup of steaming hot coffee that were hurled across the counter at Wooyoung’s face, before the tall, blond woman marched out of the café, her heels clicking annoyingly against the floor.

No one cared about the muffins, but Wooyoung couldn’t help but yelp, startled, when the scorching beverage smacked into his chest and seeped through his apron, sweatshirt, and shirt within seconds, sizzling against his skin and beginning to burn immediately. He scrambled to shed his soaked clothes, darting around the corner so he was out of sight of the customers, and ran straight into Changbin’s chest. Panic filled him, but he couldn't think much past the pain. 

He didn’t have time to say real words, the pained gasps and whines falling from his lips as he shoved off the older boy and began yanking clothes off his body. Changbin might have asked him what was wrong, frantic, but the other boy couldn’t understand much, the burning taking up most of the space in his exhausted brain. With a tired groan, he fought the swirling in his mind with every muscle and trick he could think of. The familiar ache of the burning seeping deeper into his skin and gripping his nerves in a hot, angry grasp. 

Finally, his shirt came up over his head, pulling at his hair, and the slightly chill air of the back room floated across his red, wet torso, and he sighed in instant relief, even as he stomped over to the eyewashing station, splashing cold water onto his stomach and hips. The intense burning was quickly soothed and replaced with freezing cold and extremely wet. He hated the slight disappointment that sizzled in its wake. 

“Shit, Youngie … what can I do?” Changbin asked, his hands clutching the barista’s discarded clothing, his eyebrows notched in worry.

Wooyoung turned off the sink with shaking fingers and smoothed his hair back with his still-damp hand. He shuddered through a breath and closed his eyes.

“You can not say anything, not to hyung, not to Park-nim, not to anyone,” he murmured lowly, conscious of the ears that might be listening from the office. The last thing he needed ever was a manager yelling at him for a customer's actions. 

He turned to glare slightly at his best friend. Changbin nodded, swallowing hard, and Wooyoung’s eyes flickered down a little.

“And you can let me borrow your hoodie.”

     it's now comforting my heart, blue 

     i'm alone below the moonlight, blue

     when i spit out my pains in the dark 

     when the cold air was frozen by sighs ... 

7:13 pm

Jongho bb bear <3

Hyung

Wooyoung froze, tipping his watch to stare as the message blinked up at him. He paused his task of refilling the sandwich boxes underneath the cold line, and knelt down on the tiles. There were no orders at that moment, and he likely had a few minutes before he would have to get back to work, before Park-nim would notice no movement on the cameras.

He swiped open his messages just in time to see the next text from his dongsaeng.

7:14 pm

Jongho bb bear <3

Hyung I’m sorry

I don’t do this

I don’t know why I’m doing this

Wooyoung knit his eyebrows, his chest clenching in worry. He was about to type a question, but figured there was more coming, so he waited, staring at the concerning words.

Sure enough, a small stream of bubbles popped in gradually.

7:15 pm

Jongho bb bear <3

But

Hyung, you missed pack game night

And hyungs are okay with it

Seonghwa-hyung said they already knew you had to work late

But I didn’t

And I think I’m already going into pre-rut

So that’s … awful

But, can you just tell me that you’re okay?

My alpha is freaking out a little, and I don’t know what to do

Hyung, are you okay? 

Is something wrong?

Wooyoung sighed and felt his throat closing slightly, his omega clawing at his chest. He gripped his phone in his hand for a long minute while he shut his eyes and inhaled deeply. In the background, the line equipment whirred and the oven hummed low, vibrating into the floor. The boy slowly stood up and turned his phone back on.

7:17 pm

Me

Jjongie, take a big breath for me, yeah?

Hyungie’s okay, I promise

I’ll be home as soon as I can, and if you’re still awake, then I’ll come and give you a hug

The youngest boy’s response was immediate, sending a small cluster of warning bells into Wooyoung’s ears. Distantly, the overnight baker walked through the doors, her keys jingling obnoxiously, but he couldn't bring himself to care. 

7:17 pm

Jongho bb bear <3

Can you scent me?

You haven’t scented me in over four weeks

I miss you hyung

Please

Wooyoung hurried to respond and shove his phone in his pocket before he started crying. The failure that rippled through him sent shock waves into his omega, making his legs and feet numb immediately. He swallowed a terrible keen and picked up his cleaning rag once more, shaking his head, and with it, the darker thoughts that had surfaced.

7:18 pm

Me

Of course, darling

I’ll see you soon

Wooyoung slammed his car door shut, uncaring for the late hour, and ran up the driveway to the kitchen door, his shoelaces flopping and snapping around his ankles. Once inside, he threw his bag and coat down on the counter and kicked said shoes off, breath freezing in his chest as he scurried down the dark, asleep hallway to the youngest Alpha’s bedroom.

He didn’t notice the two alphas curled up on the couch, half-asleep, having tried desperately hard to stay awake until he arrived.

He didn’t notice the lights that were filtering underneath his head Alpha’s bedroom door.

He didn’t notice the cluster of stress, hurt, and anxious scents that hovered above the living room and kitchen, like a tiny cloud of thunderstorms.

He slowed down just before Jongho’s door and took a shaky breath before silently creaking it open, his chest clenching at the scent that overtook him when he stepped inside.

The youngest boy was curled up at the foot of his bed, half-asleep, chock-full of typical pre-rut pheromones, and so scared. His scent was muted, muffled into his arms as he hiccupped through small sobs, and Wooyoung’s heart turned over at the sound, his inner omega coming alive and becoming fiercely protective.

Without pausing to undress, Wooyoung curled up around Jongho, cuddling him close from behind, and nuzzled deeply into the younger boy’s neck, scenting him lightly yet thoroughly.

While the breaking in his heart didn’t stop, only slowed, his omega sighed in relief at the way Jongho relaxed unconsciously, sighing into his hyung’s hold and twisting around to bury into the older boy’s chest.

After a long minute of skinship, Jongho murmured, low, his alpha voice brimming the edges of the sound and tingling Wooyoung’s soul,

“Hyung … hyung, no more, yeah? … no more late nights, come home safe, now?”

Wooyoung let the tears seep through his lashes, knowing they were well hidden in the dark of the bedroom, and he tightened his hold on the boy, squeezing him closer and twining their legs together.

He sighed shakily and lied without even thinking twice.

“No more. Hyung promises.”

     i felt it 

     that i wanted to walk the blue road ... 

His fingers were numb finally, but in a way, it made it easier to just … get it done. When the pain wasn’t shooting up his wrists, he could reach the furthest corners of the ice machine with little resistance. Wooyoung stuck his torso further into the machine’s top, stretching painfully to swipe along the plastic of the interior with a cloth dripping in cold cleaning solution. He’d been tasked with preparing the ice machine for the yearly inspection that day, and … if he had to pick his worst-favorite thing to do at the café, this would be it. His mind was already in a pretty dark place since getting burnt earlier that week, he didn't have time to waste, stuck in an ice machine, muddling through those thoughts. 

The slow freezing in his fingers felt lovely, and he was stuck. 

His eyelids were heavy from lack of sleep, and his stomach ached and gurgled from the muffin he’d scarfed a few minutes ago in the corner of the men’s bathroom. His apron was falling off his shoulder and making him want to jump off the ladder he was perched on and splatter to his death on the tiles beneath him.

Sniffling, he twisted his arm to try to reach the further corner, sliding the freezing cold rag along the gasket, desperately wanting to finish and get down. He couldn’t see the place he needed to clean with how he was looking, so he pulled his head out and reached further, blindly, with his left arm, jerking and reaching sporadically. His foot slipped on the ladder, and the arm inside the ice machine slammed against the interior wall, knocking against something invisible.

The whirring of the ice machine motor stopped, falling eerily silent.

Heart sinking, Wooyoung froze. He closed his eyes, his arm sinking, resting on the stupid pile of ice cubes, and he rested his head against the freezing metal on the machine’s exterior.

“Fuck your fucking life, Wooyoung-ah …” he whispered to himself as he dragged his body down the ladder, tossing the rag into the sink.

He stood in the office, hands folded politely in front of him and his eyes on the ground respectfully, as his boss ranted on and on, face red and furious, and he floated away in his head. He focused on the tiles beneath his feet and nodded when the old man gestured wildly and spouted all sorts of complaints about ‘building expenses’ and ‘your ridiculous work ethic.’

He wasn’t listening. And it felt horrible. He was a good kid, he wasn’t a lazy listener. He wanted to fix this, he wanted to do a good job.

He couldn’t listen.

He was a good kid. 

But he missed the freeze of his fingers, the numbness of his thoughts. 

After an hour or so, he wandered out of the office again, and shook himself awake, blinking into the blaring lights of the back hallway. Yeonjun was waiting for him, a worried look across his young face.

“You … you okay?” he asked, his hands twitching awkwardly at his sides.

In lieu of a real answer, Wooyoung forced himself to smile and shrugged. “Yup. Ready?”

“You know the number for the ice machine maintenance?” Yeonjun pressed.

“Of course I do. Let’s go.”  

     on the rainbow 

     i'm singing my blues ... 

Wooyoung woke up with a terrible ache in his belly. He cracked open his eyes and rolled over, grimacing when the sheets scratched his sore shoulders uncomfortably. He sighed, feeling the hot flashes begin, and started to drag himself out of the bed.

He didn’t notice the sweat beading and dripping down his body until he trudged into the bathroom he shared with his hyungs. He stared at himself in the mirror, noticing his bangs dripping and, as his eyes wandered along his body … the slick soaking through his shorts.

The boy groaned in irritation and slammed the door shut. He didn’t have fucking time to go into heat. Before he could even think straight, not fully woken up yet, he pried open the old cabinet above the sink and rifled through medicine bottles before he selected his old prescription heat suppressants. He’d swallowed three and placed the bottle back in the cabinet before he’d even processed his decision.

Blinking, he stared at his reflection, thoughts fuzzy.

He couldn't go into heat. He had to go to work. 

There was a soft knocking, and a quiet, suspiciously Mingi-sounding voice sounded through the pale wooden bathroom door.

“Youngie-ah? Can I come in?”

The omega bit his lip, panic starting to set in. His throat wasn’t working, and he ended up merely reaching over and unlocking the door.

It was still dark out, so Mingi looked incredibly soft in the dim hallway, with his pajama pants still scrunched up from sleep and his hair going in every direction. The Alpha squinted his eyes at Wooyoung and cocked his head, his gentle voice scratchy and endearing from sleep.

“Youngie … are you alright? I heard the door slam, and I got worried …”

Wooyoung mustered the last of his strength to smile assuredly and pat Mingi on his arm. He swiped his forehead free of sweat and nodded his head.

“I’m fine, Mingi-hyung … just a weird dream, and I gotta take a shower. I’ll be alright, I promise.” He shuffled further into the bathroom, bowing slightly. “Thank you for checking on me, though. Go back to bed …”

He’d shut the bathroom door before seeing the Alpha nod and shuffle uncertainly back to his room, but he knew the older boy believed him. Wooyoung was notorious for having strange dreams and waking up in a hot flash, drenched. It was just … a thing.

After a long shower, in which he scrubbed between his thighs so hard, the skin turned red and splotchy, Wooyoung got dressed and stumbled down the hall and into the kitchen. Seonghwa had a doctor’s appointment at the crack of dawn, and none of the younger boys besides him had gotten up yet. Hongjoong was sitting alone at the kitchen table, laptop propped up and a bowl of cereal in his hands.

If Wooyoung hadn’t been on the cusp of a heat, he would have avoided being in the kitchen alone with his head alpha, trying to refrain from any situation that would give the older boy a chance to see through his façade, but … he wasn’t thinking.

He fumbled with the coffee maker and poured himself a bowl of cereal, sniffling slightly. His chest hurt, and there was a throbbing in his lower stomach. But, he didn’t have time, he couldn’t think about that now. He had to go to work. 

When he turned around though, a wretched cramp ripped through him, and he froze, standing in the center of the kitchen, eyes wide. After a long moment of deep breathing and trying not to let the pain show that much on his expressive face, he began walking again, eyes flickering up to his hyung, who was already staring at him.

Hongjoong fixed the boy with a Look, finishing his bite of cereal before squinting his eyes thoughtfully and asking, his voice high and calm,

“Wooyoung-ah, did you lie to hyung?”

The omega nearly dropped his bowl, and his stomach sank with a pitiful thud. Hongjoong must have seen the way his shoulders shook and how his eyes widened in fear, for the older boy’s voice then became a soothing whisper,

“It’s alright, baby. You’re safe. But, did you lie to hyung about being alright?”

His brain was rapidly fuzzing out of control. The day before, he'd gotten through the door hours past when he thought he'd be home, with a soaking wet sweatshirt and jeans. After explaining how he'd had to clean up melted ice, also known as water, all day that day, Hongjoong had looked very seriously at him and asked if he was really okay. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, hyungie ... just tired." 

Wooyoung softly set his bowl down and, on shaking legs, went to stand next to Hongjoong’s chair, his eyes glued to the floor even as they welled up. How could he be so stupid, so selfish? Of course, his alpha was going to find out. He’d gotten away with murder for the last few months, he was dead now. And now, he was caught red-handed in a lie, a big lie at that. 

Before he could think about much else, the boy got on his knees and clasped his hands behind his back, hanging his head in shame and embarrassment.

Hongjoong lowered his voice so that no one besides Wooyoung would hear him.

“I’m going to ask you this once, sweetheart. You are old enough and have been my omega long enough to know not to play games with me. Do you need to be settled, Wooyoung-ah?”

Oh. Oh.

Wooyoung gasped, his hands barely reaching in front of him to steady his balance before he lost it. Fuck, this wasn’t going in the direction he thought, but … he could handle it. If he went through with the maintenance, then maybe … maybe, his hyungs would get off his back about it. Maybe, if he played the part, he would convince them he was fine. Then, he could ... he could go to work. 

It wasn’t that … well, it wasn’t that he didn’t need a maintenance spanking, he was actually way overdue for one, but … he was ashamed of how many times he’d considered going to the alpha to ask for one in the last three months. The build-up had to be severe by now, and he wasn’t sure he had the energy to withstand the aftermath. He would try, though. They were awful, of course, they hurt like hell, but … oh, the comfort afterwards and the heavenly feeling he could sink into with damp cheeks and a sore bottom … that was worth craving. That was worth everything.

He looked up and let a few tears fall from his heavy lashes.

“Please, hyung.”

--- 

His boss’s words were ringing in his mind as he was quietly led by the hand up onto his feet, becoming full shouts instead of the whispers of earlier.

All … you do … is lose things!

Can’t you do anything right?

I’m so … just, so disappointed in you, this is unacceptable.

He was steered to the edge of the kitchen counter, the coffeemaker taunting him. He took a shaky breath when Hongjoong gently placed a heavy hand on his back, helping him bend slightly over, his hands finding the counter beneath him and holding on tight. 

The moment he felt his underwear being pulled down, he knew, with a sinking feeling, that he was screwed. The air of the house made the dampness between his legs cold, and he shivered, squeezing his legs together to try to protect himself from the alpha’s eyes.

Hongjoong was having none of that, however, for the first smack landed directly on the red, swollen, lush lips of Wooyoung’s cunt, sending a rush of slick oozing out, and drawing a stuttered moan from the boy’s mouth.

“Wooyoung-ie. We’ve talked about this before, no?” The alpha’s small but big enough hand cupped Wooyoung’s entire pussy and squeezed.

"I'm sorry, hyung, I ..." Wooyoung swallowed thickly, feeling hurt and afraid. His hands shook and he tried again, clearing his throat. 

"I only just found out when I woke up, and ... I was trying to figure out how to tell you, I'm sorry, I'm not a-awake yet." 

Hongjoong hummed low, and Wooyoung sank into his grounding touch, his fingers only just ghosting over his entrance, taunting. 

"Well ... we can't do this in the kitchen, then, love. Come on, come with me." 

Feeling like a toddler, Wooyoung hung his head as he was led by the hand into the living room, Hongjoong picking up a blanket and laying it down flat on the carpet in front of the couches. The omega sniffled, feeling a painful bunch of cramps rip through his stomach, and he unconsciously squeezed his hyung’s hand harder.

Hongjoong stood up straight, pulling Wooyoung to stand in front of him, and grabbed his shoulders. Distantly, the younger boy’s bottom stung from the swat he received in the kitchen, but for some reason, he foresaw a heavier hand heading his way in the near future.

The alpha’s voice was soft, kind, and wonderfully stern.

“Lie down, punkin.”

Shame and arousal coloring his already heat-stricken cheeks, Wooyoung’s knees wobbled as he slowly moved to straddle the blanket, lowering himself down to lie on his back, blinking up at the ceiling. He pretended not to see Hongjoong padding over to the cabinet underneath the television on the far wall, rustling around the basket inside for what he needed. For what Wooyoung needed.

His legs itched, and he felt his stomach clench in anxiety. What if, during his heat, he let slip? What if he told Hongjoong things during the haze, things that he couldn’t take back? He already hated the idea of not being in control of his tongue, during pleasure or not, but the idea of letting loose about things he was keeping from his hyungs on purpose, for months … a tear oozed out of his eye and slid into his ear, fear coursing through him relentlessly.

“Young-ah.”

His eyes darted to Hongjoong’s turned back, blinking in denial. His fingers fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, and he squirmed silently in discomfort when his shorts became cold with dampness. At least he was laid on a fuzzy blanket, he mused.

Hongjoong turned around, the items in his hand blaring in Wooyoung’s eyes as if they were covered in neon lights.

“I’m not going to go any easier on you just because you’re in heat, okay? You know your colors, you’re a big boy. If you need something, you tell me. Yes, hyung?”

The paddle, cream, and cloths in Hongjoong’s hand made Wooyoung’s mouth dry up, so all he could do was whisper, his voice crackling around his thick tongue,

“Yes, hyung.”

Wooyoung's legs were held high, his bottom on display for his hyung, who knelt to his side, towering over him slightly. The words that gently floated through the space between them, framed by light, stinging smacks with the paddle, made Wooyoung’s heart twist and pull within his chest, his stomach curling in shame and want.

“Whatever it is …”

Smack!

“You know you can tell me …”

Smack!

“I will never turn you away …”

Smack!

“I will never get rid of you …”

Smack!

“You’re part of this pack. you know …”

Smack!

“There will always be a place for you, in our hearts …”

Smack!

“Nothing can take you away from me, Wooyoung-ie …”

Smack!

Wooyoung’s fists clenched in the blanket by his head, and he allowed himself a keen, the taste filling his throat with stale lilies, and he closed his eyes, feeling the tears seep into his hair, his ears. Hongjoong’s fingers burned pleasantly into his ankles, the man’s thumb rubbing slowly, comfortingly, up and down the slightly freckled skin there, keeping him effortlessly grounded.

The smacks paused, and Wooyoung assumed that his hyung had set the small paddle down, for another hand was smoothing against the warm, damp skin of his bottom, the touch cooling and gentle, causing him to sigh through his tears. A rush of slick oozed from his body to his endless embarrassment, but the hand on his ass merely patted him fondly.

“It’s alright, lovie. You’re doing so well, isn’t he Mingi-ah?”

Wooyoung’s eyes shot open tiredly, and his head ached when he swung his neck around to look for his other hyung.

The other alpha was sitting on the couch, his eyes wide with care and worry, his hands folded in front of him where he leaned his elbows on his knees. While it wasn’t uncommon for the other pack members to bear witness to a punishment or maintenance of another member … something about Mingi’s gaze on Wooyoung’s shuddering body gave cause to believe it was a little deeper than that.

Without thinking, Wooyoung reached weakly for his other hyung, a high, broken whimper falling from his red and bitten lips.

Hongjoong looked up fondly at Mingi and nodded, a loving, sad twinkle in his green eyes.

“You want to give him your fingers, love?”

Wooyoung finished his maintenance, one hand clutching each of his hyungs’ as they knelt on either side of him. Hongjoong’s other hand was dealing slow, firm smacks to his bottom, and Mingi’s long fingers were ghosting pleasantly over his pussy, the slick coating his hand quickly, shimmering in the morning light as he played gently with the omega’s folds and sensitive clit.

Wooyoung closed his eyes and sighed breathlessly, tipping his head back into the blanket, tears falling steadily as his heart clenched in pain and pleasure.

While his hyung’s touches were everything he’d been craving, everything he wanted so desperately … something was still wrong, and it soured in his chest, making his stutter on his breath and steal his orgasm from him, repeatedly.

When the spanking had stopped, and the hands on his body were merely rubbing and soothing, Wooyoung collapsed against the blanket, letting his legs fall open, knees hitting the floor on either side. His head was foggy, clouding every thought but the incessant need to keep his fucking mouth shut.

Then, Mingi’s fingers sank deep inside his cunt, and he felt a weak, agonized orgasm pulse through him, clenching hard around the alpha and sending a fresh spurt of slick out of him, dripping down his bottom and seeping into the blanket beneath him.

Hongjoong’s hand left his legs, and there was a small pause before a cooling substance was being rubbed along the curve of his ass, soothing over the redness and mixing with the lingering sweat and slick.

There might have been words, might have been noises floating above him, but it was as if Wooyoung was asleep. He often did this during punishments, but going away, deep into his mind, into his headspace, during maintenance was different, and it scared him a little. Faintly, he smelled his own scent beginning to sour, the telltale first signs of a drop, but he couldn’t find it inside himself to care.

He had two hyungs kneeling over him, they would hold and comfort him.

He could leave; he was safe.

--- 

Hongjoong’s voice was steady, even as his senses were spiked by the worry coursing through him at Wooyoung’s sudden change in pheromones. Mingo watched carefully as his alpha moved, cleaning the omega and redressing him.

“It’s alright, my dear … you’re okay, you’re with Alphas … we’ve got you …” The smaller man’s hands worked with swift, smooth efficiency, wiping Wooyoung clean and turning his hips up and down to shimmy his shorts back over his waist. The younger boy was out cold, hands still twitching where they grasped the blanket laid out on the floor, and his eyes were flickering sporadically underneath his eyelids. Sweat was beading on his face and dripping down his neck, and his scent was going crazy with a combination of heat symptoms and emotional responses to his maintenance.

“Wh … what happened?” Mingi whispered, his dry hand gently resting on Wooyoung’s shoulder, his own scent bubbling with worry and slight fear.

Hongjoong, gaze still concentrated on Wooyoung’s face, pushed the cream, paddle, and wet cloth away, reaching for the boy’s shoulders to pull him up.

“I’m not sure, darling. Can you help me, can you fetch a glass of water and a small applesauce?”

Relief filling him at the direction, Mingi nodded and darted to the kitchen to obey. When he returned, Hongjoong was sitting on the larger sofa, Wooyoung’s back to his chest as he held him close, and was murmuring soothingly into the omega’s ear. There was a small wrinkle between the head alpha’s brow, something unusual for the boy following maintenance sessions. Normally, he was the picture of peace, pulsing with calming pheromones. But now … now, he seemed tense, a tight spring, almost like a wild animal. His voice betrayed the fear in his eyes, and Mingo held his breath as he came closer.

“Hyung,” he started, but Hongjoong’s eyes darted up before he could finish.

“I’m fine,” the other boy responded, soft enough to now disturb the omega in his arms, and started rocking back and forth, as if he was holding a baby.

“I’m just …” he swallowed hard and pressed his chin atop Wooyoung’s head, looking up at Mingi with a strange flavor of vulnerability.

“I’m just worried.”

     singing my bloom 

     back in my room ... 

The next day, Wooyoung woke up five minutes before his alarm rang, rolling up out of bed only to freeze. He looked over his shoulder and felt a strange rush of disappointment rumble through him. Seonghwa must have come into his bedroom the night before, for he was now bundled in Wooyoung’s blankets, fast asleep. The omega bit his lip, disgust for himself filling his brain.

Snuggling with his Luna in the middle of the night was one of the most effective grounding techniques he had, and he … and he fucking missed it. He was too tired to notice. It was as if he couldn’t care less. Pathetic omega. 

Deciding to stuff his shame deep into his stomach, Wooyoung silently got out of bed, shrugging on the same jeans and hoodie he’d worn every day that week already, that smelled like coffee and raspberry syrup. Running his fingers through his hair, he crept out into the hall, tiptoeing down into the kitchen.

As he bent down to tie his shoes, next to the front door, keys and coffee in hand and ready to go, Yunho stumbled into the kitchen, pajama-clad and bleary-eyed.

“W-Wooyoung-ie? Where … where are you going, it’s so early?”

Without looking up, the omega whispered, “I have to work today, hyung …”

Yunho shuffled further into the room, his eyebrows notching in concern.

“But … you’re in heat.”

I did not need the reminder, but I love you too. “I took too many suppressants by accident yesterday, so it’s really light. I’ll be okay. Love you, hyungie, have a great day, I’ll see you later.”

He was through the front door and out into the driveway before Yunho could say anything in return. Something awful burned in his stomach as he crunched through the week-old ice and snow that covered the ground and went to start his ancient, rusty car.

He did take too many suppressants, so it wasn’t a full lie. However, even though his system was full of chemicals instead of natural hormones and pheromones, his heat was going to be the furthest thing from light.

That first day was nothing but horrible, wretched cramps. His system was chock full of all sorts of painkillers by the time he finished his shift, he was like a chemical cocktail. He did as many of his tasks as he could in the back of the café, knowing that even the dumbest of alphas could take one look at him, breathe in his muted scent, and know he was in heat, ripe and supple and unmated for the taking. Not that that sort of danger was common anymore. The fear was still there, though.

The second day, Wooyoung was delusional with desire, and he even considered walking out of the café and driving to the music studio merely to jump on San’s cock, in front of all his coworkers. He sweat buckets, shedding his hoodie and not caring who could see his white, scribbling scars. He worked like a horse, if only to distract from the burning arousal shooting through him at ever movement. He wore a pad to keep the slick to a minimum, but the suppressants took care of that after a few hours, too.

San was going insane. All day long, he couldn’t stay focused to save his soul; everything bothered him, getting under his skin and making every nerve in his body tingle with irritation. Even after he took a moment to try to calm himself down, he couldn't get any work done, his manager thankfully not noticing his upset. Deciding to go home early, under the guise that he wasn’t feeling well and needed some extra rest before his pre-rut began, the alpha drove home angrily, feeling like a failure.

He was sweating more than usual, so he jumped in the shower as soon as he got home and got through half his routine before the bathroom door slammed open. He startled but soon smiled weakly when the scent of a muted, suppressed omega in heat accosted his senses. Something, the missing piece to his nervous system, thudded into place and bringing with it a burning need to touch and hold and have and claim. 

He didn’t have time to prepare much, for Wooyoung must have undressed lightning-fast, and pulled the shower curtain aside too quickly, sending droplets scattering across the bathroom floor. The omega already looked wrecked, with his hair in his face and his eyes hooded and horny. He stood before San, naked and dripping in arousal, and stared up at him as he closed the curtain behind him. San swallowed hard before opening his arms, his belly twitching and twisting with residual heat. 

Wooyoung leapt into San's arms, placing all his trust in the older boy to not drop him, and wrapped his legs around his waist, his soaking wet cunt immediately pressing up against the boy's hardening length, and they moaned in unison. The omega pressed closer, shoving his face into San's neck and scenting him heavily, almost frantically. 

Without thinking, San growled, his alpha beating against his ribs, and he reached over blindly to shut the water off. Wooyoung was rocking his hips, the slick slathering all along San’s cock, and the pleasure was infuriatingly overwhelming. San gripped Wooyoung’s hips, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses to the boy’s shoulders, and stepped out of the shower, head spinning and thinking hard.

There was a stack of freshly washed towels sitting in the corner of the bathroom, and as he said a prayer of apology to his Luna, San grabbed them, skewing them across the floor before laying his om- his boyfriend down on them. Wooyoung was nearly coming already, form simply grinding against San, and his eyes had already rolled back slightly into his head. His hair was damp and mangled, and his flush sent pulses of adoration through the alpha, who was straddling the boy now, leaning down to kiss his throat.

Whimpers and sighs began to float out of the omega, and San felt his heart begin to overheat. If he didn’t get inside of Wooyoung now, he was going to cry and stomp his feet like a disappointed toddler in need of a smacking.

Panting into Wooyoung’s collarbone, he reached between their bodies and lined up, pressing his aching cock into the wet, throbbing heat of Wooyoung’s pussy with one push, and gasped when their hips met, shivers running up and down his spine like field mice.

“I’m sorry,” the omega whined, his hands coming up to smooth and scratch lovingly around San’s shoulders and back. The boy’s head was slowly shaking back and forth, a frequent tick he had when he was overcome with pleasure. His breathy voice made San weak, and he nearly collapsed on top of the boy.

“Wh … why are you sorry, baby?” he mumbled hoarsely, beginning to fuck in and out of the omega, approaching his orgasm quicker than he ever had. Perhaps it was the intoxicating scent of his boyfriend that was amplified by the humidity surrounding them, maybe it was the fact that they were rolling into the floor like animals, or maybe it was the combined stress of both their lives giving them the need to release steam together … but San’s instincts were taking over quickly and harshly.

Wooyoung grinned through his sweaty, messy pleasure, looking down at San with sultry, hooded eyes.

“For forgetting a condom on p-purpose,” he gasped, arching into the alpha and clenching around him, coming slowly and deeply around his length buried far, far inside his pussy.

San groaned through his teeth and would have come immediately, rising and falling in time with Wooyoung, if he wasn’t washed over with the heavy, hot need to sink his teeth into the omega’s neck and brand him, making them one, fusing their bodies and souls together.

It took everything in his body not to give in. He screamed quietly into Wooyoung’s naked chest as he slammed into the boy, shaking both of their bodies with the force of his thrusts, and came, hard.

A week later, Wooyoung was fighting a tension headache when he grabbed his bag to leave work for the day, avoiding the gaze of his manager as much as he could, lest he would be asked to stay later. No, lest he would be made to stay later. The man in the office next to the employee belongings area was rustling through papers and grumbling under his breath.

Snatching up his keys and hoodie, the omega almost made it past the office door before,

“Wooyoung-ssi.”

He paused, stifling the anger and annoyance in his scent.

“Sir.”

“I added you to the schedule. You’re at 65 now, three more hours on Friday. Make sure you complete the bread walk, too.”

Biting his lip and setting his jaw, Wooyoung nodded, despite how he was to the man’s back and wouldn’t be seen. He swallowed hard and shut his eyes. Yunho’s birthday celebration was on Friday. How was he possibly going to manage making it to any sort of function, much less having time to shop for and prepare a gift? Exhaustion rolled through him, but he nodded respectfully and continued walking past the office. 

“Sounds good.”

“You’re free to go.”

“Thank you, sir.”

     i miss these days, 

     i was blue with the light breaths ... 

The next week was hell.

Monday, he tried so hard to have a good attitude. Brushing his teeth in desperation to feel like a human, forcing himself to stuff down a bagel on his way out the door, and even listening to music on the drive to the café, he was clawing his brain for the slightest hint of dopamine, just enough to get him through the day. He didn’t last past 10 am, between the customers cranking at him about their orders, and Park-nim’s horrible attitude, yelling about something to the preppers in the back room. They were both kids, newly hired, if Wooyoung could remember correctly. It was painful to listen to.

Tuesday, he had a headache that never went away no matter how much coffee he poured into his body and how many pills he took. He was bent over the line counter, scrubbing angrily at a stain that had been there since before he started working there, and fought pained tears for most of the day. When he got home, he couldn’t even focus on his phone, settling for going to bed hours early instead of scrolling social media. He never heard Mingi knocking worriedly at his door when he missed dinner.

Wednesday, he forgot to eat, so the hunger pains had made him feverish and nauseous by the time he pulled into the driveway. Hongjoong had met him at the door, asking what was wrong, but the omega assured him that he was fine, just tired after a long day. Park-nim had added him to the schedule that day without talking to him first, so he was made to work three more hours than he’d planned, and it was a lot on his body. He fell into bed after nibbling an apple, still in his jeans and sweaty tee shirt. He would regret that in the morning, but he couldn't bring himself to care. 

On Thursday, Yunho texted him seven times while he was at work, but he didn’t have the energy to respond until he was in his car twelve hours later, getting ready to drive home.

10:24 am

Yunho hyung

Youngie, is something going on?

I’m worried

10:59 am

Yunho hyung

Hyungs are worried, too, they just hide it better than I

I’m serious, baby

If you need to talk about anything, you’ll come get me?

1:35 pm

Yunho hyung

I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about things

Please, Wooyoung-ah

The omega wept silently in his car, sitting in the empty café parking lot. Park-nim had wordlessly left after closing the shop, expecting Wooyoung to handle the closing duties by himself. Technically illegal, but who was he going to complain to? He obediently put everything away, boxed up the leftovers and gave them to the donations delivery driver, cleaned all the equipment and washed all the dishes, swept the floors and took out the trash, all in all about two hours of extra work. At least he got paid for it.

After wiping his eyes and nose on his already glistening sleeve, he texted back.

9:21 pm

Me

I love you, hyung-ie

I’m okay

Just tired

Lots of work lately

I’ll be home soon, yeah?

Just gonna grab some food real quick

Then, he typed a message that he quickly deleted, shame and embarrassment burning the back of his throat.

9:23 pm

Me

If you’re still awake, can we cuddle?

He started another, deleting that one as well. Pathetic. 

9:25 pm

Me

Is Hongjoong-hyung home, or awake? Do you think he’ll be okay if I ask for …

He couldn’t even finish typing that one, embarrassment and shame coloring his cheeks heatedly now. Clicking his phone off, he tossed it into the backseat and drove out of the deserted parking lot, switching on the radio.

He blacked out most of the drive home, and when he slid the gear shift into park, he started wondering if any of the traffic lights had been green when he drove through them. Eyes red and raw, he stared at the center of the steering wheel, beginning to craft a plan on how to sneak into the house unnoticed. The idea of someone speaking to him or fucking asking him a question made him want to gouge his eyes out of his head. He shuddered, feeling hunger and nausea flip through his stomach.

He blinked and unbuckled his seatbelt.

Before he could take the keys from the ignition, the passenger door jerked open, and Yunho plunked himself down into the seat, staring blankly ahead. He slammed the door closed and buckled his seat belt, his movements quick and deadly silent.

Wooyoung blinked, stunned, and fear settled deep in his stomach. Yunho didn’t move, but after a long moment, his deep voice floated into the omega’s ears.

“Drive, Young-ah.”

With shaking fingers and a dry mouth, Wooyoung buckled himself again, and pulled slowly out of the driveway. Beside him, Yunho crossed his arms across his chest and sank aggressively into the seat. The silence was deafening, and Wooyoung began to feel horrendously sick. His chest began to cave in, and he nervously checked his mirrors to avoid glancing at his hyung.

Before he could think to ask, Yunho interrupted his thoughts.

“Go to the drive-through. Because I know you didn’t eat.”

Shame bubbling in his belly, Wooyoung set his indicator, and merged into the turning lane for the burger place right around the corner from their house.

Yunho didn’t give him a chance, leaning across the center console and politely ordering food for them both.

Wooyoung shakily parked in the back of the parking lot, where there were no streetlights.

He ate with tears streaming down his face.

Yunho wiped his cheeks with a napkin and waited patiently for him to finish. Eating and crying.

They wordlessly sat in the dark for a long while.

Yunho then reached over and took Wooyoung’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers together, the action feeling effortlessly soft despite the sternness in the older boy’s voice.

“Tell me what’s going on, please?”

Wooyoung had to choke, looking out the window, heart shattering in his chest. 

“I … I can’t, hyung. Please, I … I’m s-sorry … I'm just, I'm just tired." 

The words bounced in the interior of the car, and he was relieved at the darkness that covered them, so that Yunho couldn't tell he was flushed, ashamed of his blatant lies. He could feel his hyung sighing. Yunho closed his eyes and leaned his head against the headrest, his expression unreadable and his scent horribly neutral. Like he didn't care. 

“Alright. Let’s just go home then.”

     i measure the weight between calmness and passion 

     but now i just want to burn blue to death ... 

“Wooyoung-ssi.”

The omega clenched his fist around the loaf of bread, his fingers sinking into the crust and creating indents. Tears prickled behind his eyes, and his feet burned from how much running around the cafe he'd done all day. 

“Sir.”

“You’re closing on Sunday, too. I need the temperature logs on my desk, with dates. Don't forget this time. We have an inspection coming up, and I need your full support.”

I need you to do everything. Wooyoung, can you just do everything? Thanks, bro.

Wooyoung only stopped himself from rolling his eyes because he was facing the wall, running the bread through the slicer, focused. He merely nodded and bit back a scowl. When had he ever forgotten a temperature log? 

“Alright. Thank you, sir.”

“Um, I think … Wooyoung-ah might be running late, again.”

Seonghwa looked up from his phone, where he had been studying the notifications telling him that his messages were undelivered, a clear sign the boy’s phone was either turned off or dead. He refused to think of the former as being a possibility, though. It hadn't been that bad in a long time. 

The room got quiet soon after his statement, the birthday celebrations pausing briefly when the pack congregated in the living room, where Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and Yeosang were sitting. San was the first one to ask, worry pinching his brows together, 

“Do we wait for him? Is he gonna make it in time?”

Yunho watched Hongjoong carefully, placing his mug of cider down on the bookshelf before folding his arms across his chest. The older boy looked five seconds away from growling, a pained expression hiding behind his passive eyes and set jaw. Seonghwa was obviously the one holding him back from explosion, a calm, soothing hand stapled to the alpha's knee, rubbing his thumb up and down. 

“It’s up to you, Yunho, this is your birthday,” Seonghwa calmly intoned, his face impassive. Yunho knew he was buzzing with anxiety and frustration under the surface, much like his mate, who was now all but vibrating in the sofa next to him, hands gripping the fabric of his jeans on his thighs.

“Have we tried calling him, anyone?” Yunho knew the answer, but he … he needed time. After the conversation, or lack thereof, that he'd had with the boy the night before, he wasn't entirely sure of anything anymore. 

Seonghwa looked up, his eyes glassy now. “I think his phone is dead again.”

Mingi was the one to become audibly frustrated first, with a soft whine, “How hard is it to charge a phone? I thought we were past this after last year.” The alpha slumped in the seat next to San and hung his head.

Whispering only to his mate, Hongjoong stared into the carpet. “Please let me go get him?”

Seonghwa slowly shook his head, gaze still locked on Yunho as the younger alpha thought.

“It’s not that I don’t want to wait for him. I want him here with us, I just … it’s already gonna be so hard for all of us to stay up late, and … if we have to postpone, then how are we all gonna get time off again? His is the easiest schedule to modify, so … hyung? Is that okay?” Yunho swallowed hard when a quick, rough pulse of worry, anger, and spite rushed through him. And then it was gone, boom. He fiddled with the edge of his sleeve and wished for all the world that it wasn't his birthday. That someone else was given the task of choosing the fate of his dongsaeng. 

He shivered strangely, the tightness in his chest pulling him down slowly. He swallowed hard once more and breathed through his mouth, the souring of combined scents in the living room starting to get to his head. He stifled the need to scratch his arms, and obediently stood still. 

Hongjoong hung his head lower, his hair flopping in front of his face to hide.

Seonghwa nodded, forcing a small smile.

“Yeah, that’s okay. I’ll keep trying, I’ll let you know if he says anything. Yeosang-ah, can you help serve the birthday dinner?

It wasn’t until after eleven that Wooyoung stumbled through the kitchen door, with a stomach growling angrily, and with a horrible burn he was nursing on his elbow from the oven. He wrestled his backpack through the doorframe, narrowly avoiding the strap getting caught on the handle, and kicked his sneakers off noisily. The kitchen was dark, but he was smart enough to recognize the scent of birthday preparations and the dimly lit sight of decorations littered loosely on the floor.

His heart had sunk long ago, but the reminder didn’t help. Sniffling, Wooyoung turned up the volume on his earbuds and let his backpack fall from his hand. He avoided looking at anything too closely as he made his way to the fridge to scrounge something together before he imploded from hunger. It had been a long and difficult day; the dishwasher had crashed, so not only had Wooyoung spent half of his shift on his back underneath the sinks, getting soaked with dirty dish water trying to fix the thing, but he was also blamed for breaking it, even though he didn’t touch the machine all week. Not ready to blame one of the younger staff, who had only just gotten out of training, he decided it was quicker and easier to just let the scolding pile up on his back and move on.

The light inside the fridge blinded him for a moment, and he squinted in pain.

“Here, I have your plate here.”

Wooyoung jumped a mile up into the air at Yeosang’s low voice, and he yanked his earbuds out of his ears, gasping.

“Hyung! It’s dark!”

Said hyung flipped on a small lamp on the counter, revealing how he’d been leaning against the oven the entire time. He folded his pajama-shirt-clad arms and sighed. He was obviously tired; the bags under his eyes and the heaviness to his eyelids gave him away.

Wooyoung hung his head, doing his best to think before speaking. The only thing coming to mind, even after a full-body examination, was to murmur,

“Is … is he very mad?”

Yeosang merely shrugged. He gestured to the plate on the counter, wrapped in foil and a kitchen towel. “Make sure you eat.”

“Hyung, I’m sorry. I had to work.”

The older boy nodded, closing his eyes. He got up to leave the kitchen slowly, whispering seriously,

“I know you did.”

Maybe it was the late hour, maybe it was hunger, maybe it was the upcoming bleed he was expecting, but Wooyoung felt his eyes welling up, and desperation filled his veins. He inhaled too quickly, feeling it get caught in his chest, and stepped in the way of Yeosang’s path out of the kitchen.

“Are you? V-very mad?”

The beta let Wooyoung grab his shoulders, but he didn’t reciprocate the touch, merely standing there, exhausted. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. Just as Wooyoung thought he should get on his knees and beg for … something, the older boy murmured, his voice tinged in irritation and sadness,

“I don’t know, Youngie.”

     i will carry you 

     you might say no ... 

Two Weeks Later ... 

Yeosang never thought of his intuition as a gift. He could always tell when one of his packmates was getting ready to go into heat or rut even before they did, and he hated it. He could tell when an omega was pregnant with pups, and he could tell how many they were having, too. He tried, even as a younger beta, so hard to ignore the gut feelings, but they never did go away. Most of the time, and especially after moving in with his hyungs, he kept his feelings to himself, not wanting to call any attention to himself, even feeling extremely ashamed of how he could … just … know things.

But, every once in a while, his intuition would demand that he do something. He would be going about his day, and something would spike his scent, and he would be filled with a swooping in his gut, pointing to a certain pack member or situation, and he couldn’t stand by and do nothing.

He once saved Hongjoong from a relationship-ending fight with Seonghwa, Yunho from a car accident, and he knew Jongho was suffering with night terrors long before anyone else. He knew when San needed to stay home from work because there was going to be an attemtped mass shooting at the mall where his office was. He knew when Seonghwa miscarried, and he knew when Mingi presented, undisturbed, in the middle of the night.

That last one was special; Yeosang held that close to his heart. He had woken up, ears buzzing, padded silently down the hallway to the younger Alpha’s bedroom, and continued to keep an eye on him throughout the remainder of the night. He pressed a cool, damp cloth to Mingi’s forehead when the fever got to be uncomfortable and fixed his pillows when he stirred and squirmed. And, by the morning, the boy’s scent had fully formed into a handsome, gentle alpha. Yeosang watched, from the back of the pack, while everyone them smothered him with care and congratulations, and he smiled, happiness bubbling inside of his beta. 

Yeosang wasn’t wrong about things, and he had many regrets, many instances where he could have, should have, stepped in and didn’t. He never told anyone about anything, and no one questioned him when he went through phases of protectiveness over the other boys. Once … Seonghwa looked at him very closely, holding his face between his soft hands, and kissed his cheeks lovingly before letting go, silently. But, other than that, the others let him be. They let him save them.

Which was why he felt zero hesitation when he pounded the bathroom door down at nearly midnight, the scent of blood heavy in the air, and the dreadful feeling of heartbreak drifting through his veins.

He had woken up three hours before with a strange cramp ripping through his stomach, and he’d dragged himself out of bed to walk to the kitchen for some acid-reflux medicine. On his way back to his room, he silently poked his head into the other bedrooms, making sure everyone was safe and sound in their beds, peacefully asleep.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa were cuddled together on top of their monstrous down comforter, arms and legs hanging here and there and soft breaths sighing into the quiet night. Yeosang smiled fondly and moved on down the hallway.

Mingi was flopped across Yunho’s lap, and both boys still had controllers in their limp grasps, despite the loud snores that fell from their lips. Jongho was curled up in a ball next to them, his head resting adorably on Yunho’s shoulder. The older beta shook his head and quietly walked over to the television by the wall and turned off the video game that had been idling for God knows how long now.

San had been up studying for hours, but he was asleep at his desk when Yeosang creaked open the door. The alpha was drooling cutely on the foam mat that stretched across the desk, and his eyes were heavy, exhausted from studying. Yeosang picked up a small blanket from the boy’s bed and tucked it around him before murmuring,

“Go back to bed, San-ah … here, let hyung help you.” He steered the drowsy boy up out of the chair and let him flop carefully onto his mattress, immediately falling back asleep.

He moved further down the hallway to open Wooyoung’s door … to find it empty. Thinking nothing of it, he glanced up the hall, seeing the bathroom door shut with a soft, golden light underneath floating out. Shrugging, Yeosang went back to bed.

And then, the feeling was back, thundering through his body and leaving him breathless, panicked. He shot up out of bed and darted down the hallway, dread filling him as he neared the bathroom door.

“… no, no, no, no, no, no, please, no …” he whispered to himself, hands shaking by his sides. He didn’t even wait to call out to Wooyoung before he slammed his elbow into the wood, the door popping off its hinges and swinging inwards.

He stumbled a step or so off balance, but frantically looked around the bathroom, eyes adjusting to the dim light. The tiles were damp underneath him, and he was filled with a cold shiver, threatening to take him under if he didn't do something. 

He couldn't breathe when his eyes locked on his dongsaeng, curled up in the corner like a forgotten child, and his heart dropped. 

He couldn’t feel his legs as he thudded onto his knees, gathering the limp, bleeding boy into his arms.

Forgetting honorifics, he wailed, his voice cracking in the back of his throat as he was quickly filled with tears,

“Hongjoong-ah!!!”

Seonghwa smacked Hongjoong hard with his pillow to wake him up, scrambling out of bed to follow Yeosang’s voice. The two men tumbled into the hallways, blearily rubbing their eyes and gasping, before running to the bathroom, the door wide open and light streaming out.

Yeosang was frantically shouting for the other members, his voice wobbly and crackling, sending shivers up and down the luna’s spine. As he and his mate slammed into the bathroom, Seonghwa froze. Time stood still for a long while, even as Hongjoong leapt forward, landing on his knees next to Yeosang, his slightly panicked alpha voice joining the beta. The luna was paralyzed, glued to the threshold, breath clogging his throat. His wrists pulsed with panicked pain, and he felt their pack bond beginning to flood with mixed scents and emotions. 

“… what’s happening, oh, fuck, oh shit, Yeosang-“

“… what’s going on? Hyung? Why is there-“

“Mingi-yah, you hold San-ah, do not let him in here-“

“Young-ah? Why are, what, w-wait … wait!”

“Mingi, I said hold him!”

Looking back, after it was all over, and the omega was home safe, cuddled in the nest for the rest of the day … Wooyoung was fine. The cuts were not the deepest he’d ever inflicted, and it hadn’t been long enough for the bleeding to have done any credible damage. He really was okay. It appeared like Yeosang had gotten to him before the thought of something worse happening could even be fathomed.

Wooyoung was not the reason that Seonghwa was frozen in agonizing shock, and it was not Wooyoung who was filling their home with mournful shrieks and howls.

It was Yeosang.

Sweet, polite little Kang Yeosang, who never enjoyed tension between any of the members, who never got in trouble unless he was asking for maintenance, and who couldn’t hurt a fly if he tried. Tall, handsome, beta Yeosang … who was now transformed almost completely under his hyungs’ gazes.

The boy was hysterical, clutching Wooyoung to his chest and keening, his voice becoming quickly hoarse at how hard he was crying. He rocked back and forth on the bloody bathroom tiles, his words fuzzy and incomprehensible. He couldn’t even feel Hongjoong’s hand on his shoulder when the alpha knelt next to him, and he didn’t look up when Jongho, Mingi, Yunho, and San thundered around the hall to pile up behind Seonghwa.

Quickly, Hongjoong reached over to assess the damage done to Wooyoung’s arms, the blood nearly two-thirds dried and scabbed over by now. The omega was passed out still, likely from stress and exhaustion rather than from pain, and after a quick pulse check, he pressed a kiss to his cheek before turning his attention to the other boy trembling in anguish.

Soon, the beta’s cries became inconsolable, and Hongjoong frantically took the boy’s face in his hands and shouted,

“Yeosang, Wooyoung-ah is okay!”

At the head alpha’s thundering voice, throbbing through the bathroom, Yeosang immediately clamped his lips shut and swallowed his sobs. Seonghwa slapped a hand to his mouth to stop the keen from falling out and felt tears burning his eyes and throat. He watched with a horrible cramp in his stomach as his loving beta gently, with trembling hands, transferred the bloody boy in his arms into Hongjoong’s lap, sniffling loudly and hiccupping. He then backed up to plaster himself to the bathroom wall, tucking his knees up to his chest, and going completely still. Obedient. His pale face was completely blank, which undoubtedly was a hundred times worse than when it was twisting in emotion.

Out in the hallway, Mingi was holding onto San with all of his strength, the alpha having turned into his shoulder to weep silently, the dangerous sobs shaking both of their tall frames violently.

Something was itching terribly under Seonghwa’s skin, but he didn’t have time to act on it before his mate sat up straighter and fixed him with a Look.

“My Luna,” he breathed, the words echoing loudly in the older boy’s mind and snapping him out of his panic-daze.

“Yes …” he whispered, eyes glued to Hongjoong’s.

The alpha was on the verge of tears, but he was a pillar of strength, kneeling there on the bathroom tiles, a limp, broken Wooyoung cradled ever so gently in his arms. It was a horrible thought, and it made Seonghwa sick to his stomach, but … he fell a little deeper in love at the sight of his mate. Strong, heartfelt, honest Kim Hongjoong. My Alpha. 

“I need you to call, can you do that? Can you call for me?” His eyes widened carefully, and Seonghwa nodded before thinking twice. He pulled his phone of out his pajama pants pocket and stumbled out of the room on unfeeling legs.

“Yes, hello …” he croaked, wiping his eye with his other fist. He could feel San’s scared gaze drilling into his from his hiding place in Mingi’s shoulder, but he blinked into the blank wall in front of him, the words tasting of ash on his tongue.

“Um, my, ah … I need to speak to an emergency, um … I need a counselor, please. Yes, urgent.”

“Jongho-yah!” Hongjoong blurted, shuffling so he was sitting on the edge of the tub instead of the floor. He pulled Wooyoung to sit on his lap, cradling his face on his chest and bouncing him slightly, hoping to wake him up.

The youngest member of the pack shouldered his way through the jumble of boys outside the bathroom door and stood in the threshold, eyes wide and teary. His eyes darted from Wooyoung’s red, scary-looking arms to his flushed and limp face and finally to rest in Hongjoong’s serious gaze.

“Yes, Alpha.”

The leader sighed, the air getting stuck painfully in his chest, and he nodded.

“Baby, I know this is scary, but I need you, yeah? I need you to go start the car and get Youngie’s emergency kit ready. Can you ask Yunho to fetch a new set of clothes for Wooyoung, and Mingi and San to help me get him cleaned up. Can you do all that for me?”

Jongho’s face became serious, and Hongjoong could see him visibly latch onto the tasks. He pretended not to see the brutal, horrible fear that shadowed his face when he glanced at Yeosang, who was frozen still in the corner near the bathtub, retreated so far into himself, he was unrecognizable. 

“Yes, Joongie-hyung. I’ll, um, get your emergency bag ready, too. Is everyone going with, or is it just you and Hwa-hyung?”

Hongjoong’s heart jumped when Wooyoung began to stir in his arms, and he smiled sadly at Jongho. 

“I think we’d have to shoot them to get them to stay behind. We’re all going.”

They took two cars. Yunho took Mingi, San, Yeosang, and Jongho in his car, and Seonghwa drove his truck, Hongjoong in the backseat with Wooyoung.

The omega woke up fully as soon as they pulled into the clinic’s parking lot, but he stayed perfectly still, merely staring blankly out the window. His coat wasn’t zippered, merely flopped over his torso and tucked around him like a blanket, and he watched the residual raindrops falling down the windowpane. He didn't miss the suppression in his hyungs' scents, or the way they dipped when they noticed he was awake. He couldn't move; he couldn't care; he was too tired. He missed the numb feeling of being inside the ice machine, where nothing mattered. Nothing but work, no emotions, no feelings. He missed the pain of disappearing. 

Seonghwa watched him carefully in the rear-view mirror after shifting the truck into park. Hongjoong was staring at his lap, exhausting pheromones flowing freely from him. The soft sounds of the rain filled the car, cutting through the tension like arrows. 

After about five minutes, Yunho’s car silently pulled into the parking spot next to theirs, the alpha in the driver’s seat staring emotionlessly out the windshield, much like he had that one night when he had ordered Wooyoung to go to the drive-through.

Before San inevitably burst out of Yunho’s car and into Seonghwa’s, the luna murmured, his voice impassive,

“Is it us, Young-ah?”

The weight of the question made Wooyoung flinch, and he immediately shook his head, his shoulders tightening up with the motion. He lifted his head from the car seat, and when he swung his gaze to look at Seonghwa through the mirror, his eyes were glistening and heavy.

“No, hyung. Just tired,” he whimpered.

When the doctor walked out into the waiting room, a small clipboard in her hand, seven tall, stressed boys in their pajamas and house coats leapt up from their seat and began speaking at once.

“Is he alright?”

“Is he awake?”

“When-“

“Can he-“

She raised her hand and narrowed her gaze, waiting for silence like a school teacher. Hongjoong grabbed onto Seonghwa’s arm with tight fingers, a sour taste filling his mouth. The eldest boy stepped forward and bowed, wordlessly apologizing for the enthusiasm of his pack.

The doctor glanced at her clipboard and scanned the small bundle of boys.

“Kang Yeosang?”

Hongjoong’s eyes blew wide, and he immediately snapped his gaze over to the beta, who was all but hiding behind the other boys at the edge of the group, head low and still slightly pale from the night’s events. The leader wouldn’t be surprised if he was still feeling the effects of the alpha voice.

Yeosang didn’t move, merely holding onto Yunho’s sleeve with white knuckles and staring blankly at the floor. When the other boys looked at him expectantly, he merely shook his head slowly.

It was Seonghwa who decided to walk over, letting Hongjoong go and reach for his eldest beta, his expression heartfelt and wary.

“Yeosang-ah, honey?” came the soft voice, and Hongjoong’s chest began to tighten, his eyes heavy with exhaustion.

“L-Luna,” Yeosang whispered automatically, his eyes still downcast. The eldest boy crouched down to try to catch his eyes, his hands grasping the other’s shoulders lightly.

“Wooyoung-ssi is asking for you,” the doctor said, her face slightly empathetic now.

Yeosang’s fingers tightened impossibly hard on Yunho’s sleeve, and the alpha curled an arm comfortingly around him, steering him slightly toward Seonghwa, who nodded and waited patiently.

Slowly, Yeosang raised his head, glassy eyes finding his Luna’s, and he bit his lip, hard, before nodding. He shook his head, trying to snap out of his daze, and grabbed his jacket from the chair behind him. Running and hand through his hair, he nodded, ready.

Before the doctor could lead him down the hallway to Wooyoung, Hongjoong’s inner alpha jumped up into his throat, sounding forth in a small chirp as he stepped forward to grasp Yeosang’s neck, pulling him close for a small scenting. If only to settle himself and his alpha, the scenting seemed to do wonders for Yeosang, too, the beta relaxing considerably and blinking his eyes clear.

Mingi thrust the small bag of things for Wooyoung, clothes, snacks, stuffies, the like, into Yeosang’s hands before the doctor opened the big door and let the beta follow him down the hall.

As the others sullenly trudged back to their seat, San with a smoldering whine in his throat, Hongjoong turned to Seonghwa, his eyes serious and his tone low, private.

“What did emergency services say?”

Seonghwa swallowed hard, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against the waiting room wall.

“Um … they said to keep an eye on him for the next three or four days, but to have the doctors run a psych assessment, too. Even though this isn’t his first time, he’s gone so many years without, that they’re not that concerned. It’s just a quick relapse, they … they happen,” his voice finally broke on the last word, and he reached out for his mate for his hand.

Hongjoong stepped forward, letting the older boy have his moment of vulnerability, and tugged him into his arms, his chest humming with his protective alpha.

--- 

Half an hour later, the two boys slowly walked out the doors, Wooyoung sticking to Yeosang’s side like glue, hoodie covering most of his face except for his red nose, and his tiny hand was thrust deep inside Yeosang’s pocket. They shuffled slowly together, the beta just as teary-eyed as the omega, but their scents were peaceful, settled … calm.

Hongjoong stood up so fast, his waiting room chair clattered over behind him. He reached for Wooyoung with open arms, and the omega didn’t have a chance to swerve from the grasp, being pulled into the elder’s arms, tucked safely into a warm shoulder, and squeezed beautifully. Hongjoong kept his eyes dry only by the grace of God, and swayed back and forth, content to merely hold his omega, feeling his pulse beneath his skin, and listen to his small, whistling breaths.

Before anyone could say anything, Wooyoung’s high, scratchy voice floated out from between Hongjoong’s arms,

“I promise it was an accident, hyungs …”

Seonghwa glanced from the boy in his mate’s arms and the beta stuck to his side.

“They gave him an assessment?” he asked, voice low and soft.

Yeosang nodded. “Yeah. He’s … fine, we did the release paperwork.”

“Okay, can we talk about it all at home? Maybe after some sleep?” Yunho’s deep voice was strained through a yawn, as he reached over to lovingly pat Wooyoung’s head, his fingers scratching nicely on the boy’s scalp.

“Yes, same cars as how we got here, let’s go,” Hongjoong ordered, pressing a kiss to his omega’s cheek and letting him go. Seonghwa gathered their things and started the long procession out of the clinic.

Yeosang, however, climbed into the backseat of Seonghwa's truck, pulling Wooyoung into his lap and becoming immovable, his protective streak showing its face. Hongjoong felt his alpha stirring in empathy for the two younger boys, and he reached over to hold his mate's hand, squeezing slightly to ground himself. 

     but 

     i'll hug you ... 

3:47 pm

Yeonjunnie

And what? exactly? happened?

3:48 pm

Changbinnie

I’m not sure either

Young-ah, I know you’re here, I can hear the mop sink running

Can you tell us what’s going on?

Wooyoung rolled his eyes as he carried the mop sink up from the back room, through the prepping station where Seungmin and Soobin were silently icing scones and cutting cookies. They used to be best friends, chattering happily as they worked, but ever since Park-nim screeched at them once because they were talking too loudly, they’d become wordless robots, terrified to make a mistake.

As the omega passed by the door that led to the line where Changbin was working, he looked through the plastic window, searching for his friend. When Changbin turned around, eyes wide and expectant, Wooyoung flipped him off and kept walking up to the bakery. His arm ached in its socket from carrying the mop bucket, and he sighed heavily, wincing when his spine cracked when he took a too-heavy step.

Unfortunately, he could only ignore his group chat for so long, for Yeonjun was waiting for him by the bakery case by the time he’d gotten up there, looking very much like a disappointed mother. He stood with his arms crossed on his chest, and he looked over his glasses at the younger.

“Junnie-ah …” Wooyoung groaned, setting the mop bucket down and beginning to work. He didn’t have time for this; all he wanted was to work quietly, do all his tasks, perfectly, without anyone speaking to him.

“I didn’t say anything,” Yeonjun drawled, looking oh, so annoyed. Wooyoung set the mop bucket down with a thud and sighed. His chest hurt. He didn’t know how to not hurt anymore.

The cuts stung horribly underneath Wooyoung’s long hoodie sleeves, and the pain buzzed pleasantly at the front of his brain. He stared at Yeonjun. Scrambling for words, something he didn’t often do, until he heard Changbin walking up the hallway behind him.

He huffed, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “Fine. If I text you, will you leave me the fuck alone?”

Changbin folded his arms. “No promises.”

A group of customers came through the doors, and the three of them went back to their tasks, Yeonjun to the register, Wooyoung to the floors, and Changbin to the sandwich line.

9:24 pm

Me

Sorry it’s late

I didn’t want you guys to think that I don’t appreciate how much you worry

But really, everything is fine

I promise

Thank you, hyungs

Wooyoung was lying in bed, a heaviness in his chest. He considered getting off, or taking a shower, or eating a sandwich … doing something to come down after his long day. But he couldn’t find the energy in his body to move at all. He stayed in his work clothes, merely kicking off his crusty jeans to sleep. He’d been doing that a lot too, if the acne spots along his ribs and thighs were anything to go by. Something sick in his mind wanted one of his hyungs to see him, to undress him and see him, only to look and coo in sympathy. Something in him was jealous of the love he wouldn't allow himself. 

The responses he got from his work-hyungs weren’t necessarily the ones he was looking for. He grimaced as his phone screen was flooded slowly.

9:26 pm

Yeonjunnie

That’s not what you said you’d text us about

9:27 pm

Changbinnie

And soooo we’re back to square one?

Nice.

Love you, too.

Young-ah. What happened?

9:29 pm

Yeonjunnie

You said you would tell us what happened?

I assumed it would just be easier to talk about over the phone and not in person

Groaning frustratedly, Wooyoung let his phone fall into his face, rolling over into his pillow, and he swallowed the rising emotion in his chest. He considered his options, blinking into the darkness, his stomach grumbling faintly.

He could tell them everything, and risk so much. They could hate him, they could make fun of him, they could say nothing, they could tell Park-nim. He groaned again, rolling back onto his back and clicking on his phone.

9:34 pm

Me

I’m sorry

It’s not an easy thing to talk about

I’m scared

Sue me for feeling shitty and vulnerable

9:34 pm

Yeonjunnie

My parents are rich, you forget. I will sue you.

9:35 pm

Changbinnie

How about this

You say whatever you need to say, here, however you need to say it, sometime tonight.

Junnie and I won’t respond if you don’t want us to

9:36 pm

Yeonjunnie

Yeah, just word vomit

It’ll feel good

Promise

It took Wooyoung another hour to respond. His lips were bitten, his eyes were stinging, but … the idea of getting it all out, giving it a place to sit, without the threat of some kind of repercussion … it was too good an idea for late at night. Like a cold shower after a hot day, or a warm meal after sitting in the snow for hours. To let it go ... 

10:48 pm

Me

Nothing’s working like it used to. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but … I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and so I just, I work. I work so I don’t have to think.

I don’t know what else to do to get better.

I can’t tell my pack, I’ve already lied so many times to them, this won’t make a difference.

I’m fucked no matter what I do.

Sorry to pull you both into this.

11:01 pm

Yeonjunnie

I know we said we wouldn’t respond, but Young-ah

You have to tell someone

Maybe not your pack alpha

But Sannie, maybe?

He would understand.

He would help you

11:04 pm

Me

I’m scared of losing him

You two have no idea

I can’t let him down

I can’t

11:05 pm

Changbinnie

Sannie loves you, Young-ah.

That boy would pick up a mountain for you if you asked him

I’m sure he would listen and understand and help you get some help

Or I can tell him

If you want

Tears were seeping from Wooyoung’s eyes now, spilling into his hair and staining his pillowcase. He blinked up at the messages and turned his phone off. He couldn’t think about it for too long, he would make himself sick.

San was sleeping in the room next to him, taunting him. All it would take would be for him to sneak in, snuggle up, and spill. He could. Changbin was right. He would be listened to. San would scent him, calming his nerves and his frazzled soul, and he would probably kiss him in a hundred places, turning Wooyoung into a pile of mush before asking him what was really wrong. What he really wanted to say. 

And Wooyougn would feel so safe, he would fucking tell him. He would fucking tell him the truth, and then he would be finished. 

Something awful was pulling on his heart, and it was easier to just … keep going. To stay freezing. He knew freezing, he could ... he could make a home with freezing. 

11:08

Me

I’ll tell them soon

I just have to get through this week

Promise

I’ll do it soon

11:11 pm

Yeonjunnie

Text us if you need anything?

We’re here for you, Young-ah

11:12

Changbinnie

You’re be okay

You’re strong 

So strong

Love you

Sweet dreams

Call out tomorrow, yeah?

Wooyoung snorted. He would not be calling out sick. Not if he didn’t want to be verbally bent over the office desk and paddled to hell and back.

--- 

“Hyung, it’s fine.”

Wooyoung slammed the dishwasher down, the rushing of water and soap drowning out the whimper that definitely wasn’t threatening the back of his throat. He refused to look at Changbin, his shoulders tightening with every movement as he continued to load the dish racks with bakery platters and pastry dishes. If he just … if he just stayed busy, then it … then, it would all be okay. He just needed to keep moving, damn it.

“It’s like … the furthest thing from fine. Please, just take a second? Let me take care of it?”

Wincing when Yeonjun came around the corner, with Wooyoung’s hoodie and car keys in his hands, Wooyoung stopped, leaning against the big sink, his back to his friends.

“You guys suck.”

Yeonjun nodded in agreement, holding out the hoodie and gesturing with his head to the back door.

“Mmhmm. Let’s go.”

Half an hour later, he was slumped, sitting in the hatchback of Changbin’s car, a cigarette between his lips and eyes red with unshed tears. He’d let the eldest of the three of them bandage his arms, while Yeonjun ordered them take-out and drinks, desperate to use his parents’ money as fast as possible. He always was funny with money. Wooyoung had decided to stop trying to understand that a long time ago.

He stared unseeing into the parking lot, his chest getting heavy from the smoke and the tenderness of how Changbin’s fingers were cleaning his cuts, wrapping them in white bandages, and smoothing them over, a strange warmth seeping into the boy’s skin from the feeling. Something was burning painfully in his belly, and distantly, he felt his back pocket buzzing with texts. He couldn’t care, he was just so tired.

“I can text Park-nim and tell him you’re sick. It might buy you a day, at least. That way you can sleep.” Yeonjun looked up hopefully from his phone, glancing worriedly between Changbin and Wooyoung.

Wooyoung shook his head, taking another drag, and he gently, slowly shrugged Changbin off his arm. He rolled off the car, stepping on the cigarette and stretching his back.

“No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine. I promise. I’m just tired.”

     in my eyes 

     in my blue dream ... 

Wooyoung spat over his shoulder, tears burning his eyes, “I hate you!”

He could feel the smack coming, but it still hurt. He closed his eyes and hung his head, hands gripping the edge of the countertop. Seonghwa was deadly with that wooden spoon, and the younger was already regretting his horrible attitude from a minute ago, shouting disrespect and throwing a dish like a toddler tossing aside a toy. He would never admit that, though, despite the vinegar biting into his bottom. Anger and pain bubbled uncontrollably in his chest, and he frantically scrambled for a place to put it. 

Seonghwa snorted. “Tough shit, darling.”

“I hate you, hyung!” Wooyoung sobbed, bending all the way over to lean his torso on the flour-coated marble of the counter, and his shoulders began to shake. His fists hurt from how hard he was gripping the countertop, and he shut his eyes tight. 

"Young-ah ..." The smacks stopped, and the omega heard the luna sigh heavily, exasperation coloring his voice. 

“I said I hate you!” Wooyoung shrieked, brokenly, tears stinging in his eyes.

Seonghwa huffed, likely rolling his eyes. “Oh, please. Don’t be a child, Young-ah.”

The omega bent over the kitchen counter growled between his teeth, the pathetic sound sending strange bolts of worry through the luna’s nervous system, something dangerous lighting up in his mind at the sound.

“Young-ah.” He leaned closer, wooden spoon forgotten. Taking a moment to briefly scent the boy, he whispered,

“What is it you really want to say?”

Wooyoung stomped his foot in response, catching the side of Seonghwa’s shoe as well. He shook his head and hid from his hyung, breath hitching.

“You can say it, darling,” the older boy encouraged, his hand finding the space of Wooyoung’s back just above his ass, where it was warm and trembling.

There was a terrible sound bursting from the younger omega’s chest, and it made Seonghwa’s stomach turn over in fear. His hands became frantic, and he let the spoon clatter to the floor, gathering Wooyoung in his arms and tipping him upright, blinking sporadically in anxiety.

“Baby?” he whispered, hands reaching to cup the boy’s face, hidden by his long hair, and Wooyoung let him, pliant and shaking in his grasp.

Seonghwa looked at the boy over his glasses, murmuring softly, “Baby … do you want me to fetch Sannie?”

The omega shook his head too quickly, whining, “No …” as tears brimmed in his eyes, he looked up at his hyung with fear in his eyes, fear that settled heavily in the older boy’s stomach.

“No, h-he, he won’t want to … he won’t wanna be with me when he finds out I’ve been … I’ve been bad, I … he won’t want me.”

Seonghwa’s stomach dropped all the way through him and sank to the floor. He felt his eyes grow wide and his breath catch in his chest.

“Wh-what? Baby, that’s … that’s not … come here,” he gestured for Wooyoung to slide closer, opening his arms for a hug. The omega didn’t seem to see, though, and rolled over to continue to cry into his elbows beneath him.

The younger boy whimpered, his voice thick with emotion disproportionate to the small smacking taking place.

“No, pl-please, just, just … just finish, please … I'm so tired, I'm tired of g-getting ... of being in trouble.”

Without thinking, Seonghwa let the palm of his hand rest firmly on the younger boy’s bottom.  

“So, what do you say?”

“I’m sorry!”

Deciding to complete the spanking with five, lighter smacks, Seonghwa turned Wooyoung up into his arms and purred, trying desperately to stifle the terrible worry in his scent.

“It’s alright, darling, hush, you’re okay …” he kissed the boy’s hairline and all but picked him up like a baby, cradling his face in his arms and searching for signs of … anything.

“Darling, hey, look up at Luna?” Seonghwa turned the boy’s red and damp face, his heart pinging at the emotions that lay in the eyes that found his.

“Shall we go upstairs? Maybe a bath and some snuggles? You’re having a really hard day, and I want to hold you.”

Wooyoung was nodding before the eldest had finished speaking, and was sinking his forehead into Seonghwa’s shoulder, resting there limply.

The water was oh, so warm and soothing … Wooyoung inwardly scolded himself, berating himself for forgetting about the wondrous cure that was a hot, soapy bath late at night when you’re ready for sleep and just want to fade from existence. He stared at the tub filling steadily, his hands slowly going numb in anticipation of the soothing feeling to come. Seownghwa was busying himself behind him getting towels and pajamas for both of them ready, humming low under his breath.

It was late, but Wooyoung felt through the floors and walls of the house when Hongjoong came home, shutting the kitchen door a little louder than he needed to. Something deep inside Wooyoung settled at the sound, his nerves spiking slightly. Both the pack Alpha and pack Luna were home, with him, and they were all safe. He could relax. He should relax.

He desperately needed to relax. 

Seonghwa pulled him from his spiral by tugging him gently to his feet and easing his shirt off his arms and shoulders, up off his head. The two of them then undressed silently, and the Luna switched off the bathroom lights, letting the single candle lit on the sink illuminate the small, soft room.

Stepping into the water behind Seonghwa made the omega tremble slightly, and without thinking, he grabbed tightly onto his hyung’s arms, a small gasp filling his lungs.

Seonghwa was ready for him, hugging him close and helping him settle down, the two of them sitting together in the hot, soapy water.

An hour of quiet, soft soaking went by, and the water began to cool to warm rather than hot. Seonghwa heaved a sigh, feeling Wooyoung snuggle closer against his chest, and he tightened his arms around the boy.

Something small changed in Wooyoung’s scent, something that the luna hadn’t smelled on him in months. Something he missed, and it made his stomach twitch, pulling in awkward directions. He inhaled deeply, letting Wooyoung scent him slowly, and the two of them sank deeper into the water, Seonghwa humming low in his throat.

The sweet, almost sickly scent thickened, and Seonghwa felt himself slick up underneath the water. He smiled, tipping his head back against the porcelain, and he murmured,

“Young-ah … are you spacing?”

Wooyoung’s voice was soft, high, and squeaky. He tightened his hold on Seomghwa’s hands and snuggled closer, whimpering,

“I’m … I’m sorry, hyung-ie … I don’ hate you. I don’t.”

Heart breaking and soaring at the same time, Seonghwa smiled into the dark, cuddling the boy closer. He let his voice drip with comfort, letting his luna smile and sparkle.

“It’s alright punkin, Hyung-ie knows … you were upset, yeah?”

There was a quiet sniffle, and the boy in his arms nodded slowly.

“Do you … do you want to talk to Luna about it?”

Wooyoung shook his head and whined, his body unconsciously grinding back softly against Seonghwa’s hips, making the older boy bite his lip and sigh breathily.

“Okay, baby boy. Let’s get your hair washed, and then you can go under in hyung-ie’s bed, yeah?”

Wooyoung didn’t respond, and Seonghwa reached up the ledge to grab the expensive body wash and shampoo, blinking the moisture from his eyelashes.

“Baby? Here you go …” Seonghwa made to hand Wooyoung the soap, but the younger boy shook his head, burying his face into the older’s arm, his voice high and whiny.

“No … I ‘ya Yuna do it …” I want Luna to do it …

Seonghwa sighed fondly, his heart exploding. Wooyoung’s subspace voice was always so endearing. Squeezing the boy’s arm tenderly, he nodded.

“Okay. Luna will do it, darling.”

     back to blue side ... 

Wooyoung had just finished his fourth twelve-hour shift in a row, and he stumbled into his car, his breath fogging up in front of his face as he shivered. Starting the old, rusty vehicle, he glanced at his phone for the first time since clocking in that morning.

4:28 pm

Hongjoongie hyung

When you get home, we’re talking.

5:24 pm

Hongjoongie hyung

Text me when you’re on your way home.

9:11 pm

Hongjongie hyung

You’re not in trouble. But this needs to stop.

We love you, Youngie

I love you

Please come home safe

Wooyoung had never typed a text message faster in his life, chills seeping into his soul.

9:18 pm

Me

I’m on my way home now

I love you, too.

And I’m so sorry

For everything

As he was driving, tears burning his heavy, tired eyes, he saw out of the corner of his vision, his phone lighting up. He clenched his hands around the steering wheel and keened.

9:21 pm

Hongjoongie hyung

Sweetheart.

Don’t say sorry.

I love you more than all of the ‘sorries.’

More than all of the ‘no worries.’

And more than all of the ‘just tireds.’

Trust hyung.

When the boy silently crept into the house at half past, he was met with both Hongjoong and San waiting up for him at the kitchen table, nursing late-night mugs of tea and watching him with unreadable expressions. Wooyoung couldn’t even read their scents, they were so closed off.

Without taking off his shoes or setting his work bag down, the omega got on his knees and settled into a bow, pressing his forehead onto the tiles between his hands. His stomach was trembling in fear, and he tasted bile in his throat. 

He whispered, in case the other boys in the house were sleeping,

“I’m sorry for keeping you up, hyungs.”

He almost never called San ‘hyung’, but … he felt like now was a good time, after everything he'd put them through. Silence met him, and he held his breath as he stilled, letting his muscles freeze in place where he knelt. Stomach swooping at how easily he'd let himself fade away ... like he faded away when he was brought into Park-nim's office for a scolding ... he was filled with an ugly, dripping shame that wrapped around his ankles and pulled him into the floorboards. 

San stifled the wail that sat inside his chest, and slid his chair back, after receiving an affirming nod from Hongjoong. He silently walked over to the kneeling boy on the floor and squatted down, his hands aching to reach out and … something.

He swallowed hard and whispered, his voice cracking with heartbreak,

“You … you thought I wouldn’t want you?”

Wooyoung made a wretched, crackling noise into the tiles beneath his face, and his flat hands then became fists in an attempt to stifle his emotion. The omega’s back began to tremble, and San couldn’t take it any longer, looking imploringly up at Hongjoong, who had been sitting stoically the entire time.

“… please, hyung?”

Hongjoong stared at the younger alpha for a long moment before nodding curtly and gesturing to the hallway. “Carry him to the nest. Then grab a water; we’ll be in there for a while.”

Through the blackest, darkest fog, Wooyoung felt his heart tremble and then drop, sinking through his body beneath him, and his vision faded entirely. He didn’t notice when San picked him up, losing all feeling in his legs and arms, only barely registering his head being laid against a familiar shoulder, and feather-soft lips pressing against his temple, mouthing loving words he couldn’t understand. He clamped his hands around the freezing feeling and hung on for dear life. 

Hongjoong had to swallow the lump in his throat when he heard San whisper to the omega as he carried him through the kitchen. The alpha took a deep breath and followed the two boys, repeating the phrases in his head with each step.

“… We’ll take care of you, my treasure … you’re safe, you’re loved …”

--- 

Wooyoung was sixteen when he first came to live with Hongjoong, a friend of a friend who was in desperate need of a third roommate. Chan said that the alpha wasn’t looking for a pack yet, but he was willing to think about it, maybe for in the future, after college. Wooyoung agreed with the wisdom of that decision and moved into the city with his few belongings and his youthful attitude.

And Hongjoong was incredible. The best friend that a spitfire little omega could ask for, and they became close fast. Hongjoong was courting Seonghwa, his other roommate, and Wooyoung would forever treasure the moments he remembered watching the older boy fall head over heels, slowly and carefully, to the point where he and Seonghwa were basically married. They gradually began sleeping in the same bed every night, doing their grocery shopping together, and making apartment decisions together. Wooyoung thought it was adorable, and he teased them mercilessly, typical dongsaeng-third-wheel behavior.

Seonghwa brought Yeosang home next, his eyes red and weepy, and while he and Hongjoong talked about starting a pack, Wooyoung entertained the beta in the living room, asking him about his quiet life and how he came to know his Seonghwa hyung. The two of them quickly became friends, for it was easy to be friends with someone who couldn’t stop talking and who loved everyone just in case they wanted to love him back.

Next were Jongho and San, who were coworkers of Hongjoong’s and were looking for a forever pack. After a few game nights for everyone to get to know each other, Yeosang was the one to approach his hyungs, on his knees and with shiny eyes, telling them that they had to keep the boys. He wouldn’t say why, but the deep voice and the insistent words confirmed how they already felt.

And it was only after Yunho and Mingi were added to the pack, two boys displaced by emergency services, that Wooyoung had slowly begun to unravel, his messy pieces spiraling out of control at the changes.

He began to act out, bratting just to get a rise out of Hongjoong and Seonghwa, unconsciously begging them to still care about him as if he was still their first. He ignored their texts, he played games with their time and attention, and he was rude and disrespectful constantly. The last straw fell when he began to pick on the other members, calling out their insecurities so soon after they were officially added to the pack, and Hongjoong was the one to snap.

He dragged the omega up to their growing nest, locking the door behind them, and threw Wooyoung onto their massive bed.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong after I beat your ass, or before?”

And for a moment, Wooyoung’s heart soared with relief. He was still worth Hongjoong’s time, even if it was filled with discipline. Tears burned in his fiery eyes as he glared up at his hyung, taunting him angrily.

He wasn’t spanked very hard, since they had barely talked about punishment methods yet as a pack, but oh, was he spanked. Naked and trembling over Hongjoong’s lap, he was spanked red and sore, until he was crying out apologies about things he had kept inside of him for months.

When it was over, he was pulled gently up into the alpha’s lap, cuddled soothingly, and he sank so hard into subspace, he wasn’t quite sure what was happening at the time.

After he came back up, five or ten minutes later, Hongjoong carefully took his cheeks in his hands and looked closely into his eyes, his lips thin with concentration and his eyes deep and glassy with emotions.

“Young-ah … dearest … will you tell me why, now? Will you tell me what’s bothering you? Please?”

Wooyoung broke, his ugly pieces crumbling all over Hongjoong’s lap, and he managed to whisper through his tears, desperately looking into his alpha’s eyes,

“I … it … it feels like the stars are f-falling, hyung … like the world is ending, and leaving me behind … and I’m scared …”

Nodding, Hongjoong grabbed Wooyoung’s hands, holding them tightly between their chest, and he took a deep breath before responding, his low and steady voice a balm to the omega’s sore and throbbing heart.

“Young-ah, sweetie … if the stars start to fall, and you’re scared … you find me, and I’ll hold your hands, yeah? I’m right here. You’re not left behind.”

They had a long conversation about Wooyoung’s place in the pack, and how he’d felt lonely after so many additions so quickly, but all it took was a few heavy sessions with Hongjoong and Soenghwa, Alpha and Luna, for him to feel settled once more. He blossomed under the attention, and he flourished soon under the new pack dynamics.

"And if the stars fall …

… I’ll hold your hand …"

--- 

“Hold him,” came Hongjoong’s strong voice, sending shivers down San’s back, and the younger alpha obeyed, propping Wooyoung up on his lap where he sat on the giant bed, with the boy’s back to his chest. He sighed, desperate to fall asleep, even after only a few nights of staying up slightly later than was good for him. How was Wooyoung even alive after all the rest he’d been missing? San’s heart sank, and he pressed a kiss to the omega’s hair.

Hongjoong stalked over to the wardrobe, shedding his shirt and jeans in fast, jerking movements. San was suddenly reminded that the man was a pack alpha for a reason, the abs that flashed in his eyes, and the attitude that seemed to flow from the man’s very pores. He shuddered, holding Wooyoung close to his chest, and watched the older man continue to undress.

“Get him wet for me, Sannie.”

The words made San’s cock thicken, pressing up painfully against his shorts, and he sighed, arousal pulsing through his body. With shaking fingers. He reached up and placed his palm on Wooyoung’s lower stomach, inching underneath the boy’s waistband. Slowly, while he watched Hongjoong gather items he needed from his bedside table, the younger alpha pressed his fingers against his lover’s cunt, heat covering his cheeks quickly at the lewdness.

The omega’s body was warm, damp, and ready for him, small sounds escaping his lips when San’s fingers began playing with the warm folds. Wooyoung arched into the touch, whining quietly and biting his lip. His eyes were still red, puffy, and shut tight, and he pressed his head back into San’s chest, relaxing into the upcoming scene.

As San coaxed slick from the boy’s body, he watched Hongjoong walk back over, tossing random objects on the mattress next to them, and he let his eyes appreciate the sight. The alpha was the most serious he’d been in months, even during scenes. His eyes were hooded, his jaw set, and he breathed heavily through his nose.

Suddenly, a spike of worry traveled through San’s consciousness, and he sat up a little straighter.

“Hyung, are … are you alright?”

Hongjoong’s eyes snapped up, and he nodded, his eyes softening a little.

“Yes. Just … this must happen. I have to do this.”

“I know,” San whispered, and if he didn’t have an armful of Wooyoung, he would have gathered the older boy in a hug. “I know, and … and, you’re not going to hurt him. You’re going to take such care of him, I know. I know you, hyung.”

If Hongjoong wasn’t in such a deep headspace, he would have smiled. But he nodded and continued getting ready, tying his hair out of his eyes in a tiny half-pony. San could have sworn his cock hardened specifically from watching him flick the hair tie around his dark, soft curls. He would never get used to how handsome his head alpha could be at times. 

“Hold his hands behind his back,” the older boy murmured, nodding approvingly when San sat Wooyoung up to obey, pulling the boy’s wrists to nestle at the small of his back, making the omega whine and squirm, already oozing slick out into his underwear.

Hongjoong crouched down to unbutton the boy’s jeans, dragging them off his hips and down his legs, revealing said underwear, a pair of pale green, lacy panties. Both alpha’s breaths caught at the sight, and San could feel his eyes dilating as he gazed down, eyes narrowing immediately on the growing wet spot on the front.

“Oh, look at our baby … so beautiful … so beautiful in these …”

Wooyoung whimpered, his lips pouting, and he wobbly murmured, “F-for y-you, you hyungie …”

The head alpha sighed, his gaze softening considerably, and he reached for the bottle of lube he tossed aside, shaking his head fondly. “How can you be so cute, little one … even when you’re getting punished? I can’t with you.”

San huffed a laugh, feeling Wooyoung fade back into his head, sighing softly, a high-pitched, wonderful sound leaking from his pouting lips.

As he yanked off both his and the omega’s underwear, Hongjoong’s gaze narrowed on San’s, speaking softly, his words heavier than stones.

“I’m going to tease him, probably for a long time. He knows his safeword, and he’s safe in your arms. If you ever get uncomfortable, you tell me. Yes, hyung?”

San nodded, his throat drying up despite him not being the one in the hot seat.

“Yes, hyung, I … trust you, Joong,” he whispered, feeling another quick pulse of arousal flicker through him.

The younger alpha pulled his fingers from Wooyoung’s warm, damp body, and then hiked the boy’s hips up, spreading his legs for Hongjoong, presenting and holding him open.

Smiling at the sight, Hongjoong poured lube into his hand to slick himself up, gasping through his teeth at the feeling. He tipped his head back and quickly brought himself to full hardness. San had to keep breathing deeply, his chest expanding and moving Wooyoung’s body up and down with him, in order to keep his noises to himself.

Moving closer so his knees could rest and steady his balance on the edge of the mattress, Hongjoong then placed the tip of the lube bottle directly over Wooyoung’s clit and squeezed, letting the sticky substance drip down, absolutely drenching him. The omega trembled and whined at the feeling, and his pussy clenched, opening and closing in invitation.

Hongjoong placed his hands on the mattress next to San’s hips, his breath heavy and hot, and began pushing into Wooyoung, slowly at first … then bottoming out without a second thought. The omega gasped, hips pushing up at the feeling, wanting more, always wanting more.

Huffing a laugh, Hongjoong let his head rest on San’s shoulder, quickly pressing a kiss to Wooyoung’s cheek. San sighed, tipping his head back, focusing on not coming on the spot.

San was quickly overheating, so he wriggled his shirt off, shucking the sweaty garment across the mattress and sinking into the gooseflesh that covered his chest. Wooyoung pressed back into him, a pleased hum floating from his throat.

As his hips began to drag in and out, Hongjoong swung his head up to lick a stripe from Wooyoung’s shoulder blade to his earlobe, and he seemed to pause, searching. His sharp eyes honed in on the smooth skin, examining all over his neck and chin, searching. He gasped, his thrusts slowing, and he leaned up to stare incredulously at San.

“You … you haven’t bitten him?” his voice always got high and squeaky during sex, but emotions seem to clog his throat, making it crackle and wobble endearingly.

San bit his lip, fighting the bubbling in his stomach and the clenching in his heart. He shook his head and sighed.

“No,” he shook his head and smiled sadly. “But you can, if you want.”

Hongjoong didn’t seem to hear him, shaking his head and notching his eyebrows.

“Why? Why not? I thought, I thought at least one of you … Sannie?”

There were big, hot tears in San’s eyes, but he bravely shook his head and kept them from falling. He swallowed hard and softened his voice, pleading gently.

“Can we … can we not do this right now, hyung? Please?”

Hongjoong seemed to break apart distractedly at the whimper that fell from San’s lips, but he nodded and quickened the pace of his hips, sliding his hands further up the mattress to move closer to the other alpha. Wooyoung whined deliriously between their sweaty bodies, his head flopping heavily on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Hongjoong pressed a quick kiss to the boy’s cheek before leaning up, eyes boring into San’s, and he whispered,

“Sannie, love … kiss me?”

Whining brokenly, San closed his eyes and leaned forward, crashing their lips together as they slowed down, rocking into Wooyoung with measured, sure movements.

Anytime the pack members needed something heavier than the normal punishment, when the transgression ran a little deeper than just stubborn disobedience, the methods of correction would then vary depending on the member in need. For the pack luna as well as the alpha, a heavier spanking was warranted to snap them out of their heads and let them settle. For Yunho, he needed a heavier scolding, to ensure he was thoroughly understanding why and how he’d gotten into trouble. Yeosang, in turn, needed things to slow down, the embarrassment and pain of a punishment to be drawn out across an entire day at time, in order to allow himself to accept forgiveness. And such methods would vary as such, trickling down the line of members.

Wooyoung always responded well to spankings, yes, but … he tended to need sensory-focused activities rather than conversations in order to get back on track after repeated offenses. One day he tearily told Hongjoong that when he was little, if he felt someone didn’t want to touch him, or that he couldn’t come to someone for a quick scenting or hand-holding, just to settle his nerves or his omega … his mental health would quickly spiral out of control, and he never figured out how to reign it in. Not only was Hongjoong’s heart effectively shattered at the confession, but he immediately began working with the younger boy on his emotional connection with touch and what he could do to help stop himself from spiraling at times when it was unavoidable. And therefore, the method of maintenance spankings was introduced.

This, however … this was much more intense than a maintenance session.

This was heavier. This was sex, but this was also Hongjoong teaching Wooyoung something. This was alpha and omega, bare and overflowing with hormones and emotions, too things that a certain Jung Wooyoung had plenty to share.

Sex with Wooyoung was always hot, messy, usually teary, and complicated. He had a hard time getting out of his head, which he was immediately communicative with San about the second they started dating. He needed constant stimulation, verbal and physical, and emotional connection was the only thing, at times, keeping him present. Hongjoong knew this, too, of course, as well as most of the pack. But … really, it was San’s thing, to keep Wooyoung tethered emotionally. By kisses, sweet words, and soft touches that mean more than any physical gift he could have ever given.  

After five or six minutes of Hongjoong slowly fucking into Wooyoung on top of San, the younger alpha was rapidly falling apart. Maybe it was the late hour, maybe it was the cloudiness that was living inside his brain lately, maybe it was the worry for his boyfriend that had been building up over the last several months … maybe it was the craving that he was ignoring, but he needed his shorts off, now.

The first orgasm that was stolen from Wooyoung made his eyes snap open, and he gasped, setting his jaw. Coming back awake a little, he sighed, squirming slowly in San’s lap, and refused to look at his head alpha. Hongjoong was hovering above him, having pulled out last second, his touch disappearing the second he noticed Wooyoung getting close.

The second time, the omega clenched his teeth so hard, San heard them squeal under the strain. Wooyoung’s beautiful legs jumped up to wrap around Hongjoong’s hips, and the older boy grinned tiredly.

“Oh, my sweet … what’s the matter?” he teased, winking. “Tell hyungie …”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes, still fluttering in and out of subspace and avoiding his pack alpha’s searching gaze.

“F-fuck … fuck you, hyungie.”

San cackled, squeezing his boyfriend in his arms as Hongjoong tipped his head back to laugh as well. Wooyoung, even as he was about to be edged to insanity, was stubborn and disrespectful to the tenth power. Even as he was being taken apart at the seams, only to be licked clean and then put back together … he was desperate to impress, and even more desperate to be in control.

“No, darling … you’re the one being fucked, I’m afraid.” Hongjoong’s low voice visibly rippled through Wooyoung’s body, and San gasped when the younger boy ground back against his hips, precome slathered between their bodies and making him hold his breath, afraid of the whimper that was burning in his throat.

“Hyung, you …” San whispered, unsure of how much he was supposed to let Wooyoung hear and how much he was supposed to keep to himself, letting Hongjoong work on Wooyoung through him. “Hyung, you gotta … you can’t … I don’t know if I can make it if you … I’m sorry …”

Hongjoong dragged his gaze from Wooyoung to San, a strange sparkle in his eyes as he murmured in response, “I didn’t bring you up here with us to lie there and be a statue, lovie. You can help … Youngie has more than one hole, as I’m sure you are familiar with …”

Groaning as arousal ripped through him, San twitched his hips forwards, jutting into Wooyoung’s lower back and sliding awkwardly into the crease of his ass. Hongjoong smiled satisfactorily at the lovely sound, and San felt Wooyoung’s hands tighten their grasp where they were tucked between their bodies.

“He … he’s …” the omega slurred between Hongjoong’s thrusts, “… he’s not g-gonna, gonna last, though …”

Hongjoong slapped the inside of Wooyoung’s thigh, leaving a bright red print behind, and grinned when the younger boy yelped and keened, knees jerking up into the air.

“You worry about you, baby …” the head alpha whispered, leaning closer to breathe directly into Wooyoung’s face. “You worry about your poor little pussy and how you won’t be able to come for hours. Let me take care of Sannie, yeah?”

Whining high and crackly at the words, San tipped his head back against the pillows and adjusted his hips to get a more comfortable angle. On his lap, Wooyoung began to squirm harder, forcing the alpha to tighten his hold on him, keeping him still and spread open.

The third orgasm that was teased and dangled like a carrot but inevitably taken away brought the first shimmer of tears to the omega’s eyes, and he tossed his head from side to side, the friction making his hair burn San’s chest. Hongjoong sighed loudly, gritting his teeth and gripping the base of his cock with his fist, edging himself as well as Wooyoung.

San, nearly delirious with the need to spend, blinked at his hyung and whispered,

“You can come on him, he … he likes it, he likes to feel it, um … if you want.”

Without a moment of hesitation, the head alpha loosened his fist, ropes of come splattering across Wooyoung’s stomach and thighs. The omega arched into the feeling, a cute sigh falling from his red, bitten lips. 

After coming back to himself, Hongjoong gathered Wooyoung in his arms and stood up, nodding commandingly at San, who was blinking up at him, flushed and hard as a rock.

“Take them off, Sannie.”

Kicking off his shorts and underwear, San obediently flopped back on the mattress, sitting against the pillows and opening his arms for Wooyoung, who was drooling on Hongjoong’s shoulder.

The head alpha turned Wooyoung around, laying him facedown on San, before spreading the boy’s knees and cocking them up, kneeling him on the mattress straddling San’s thighs. Positioning the omega where he wanted him, the older alpha placed his hand on Wooyoung’s lower back and pressed down, pushing him into San’s chest. The younger boy whined and laid both arms flat out to the sides, stretching out like a starfish.

San gasped when his cock brushed up against Wooyoung’s wet, pulsing pussy when the boy squirmed and pressed his hips down, and he couldn’t help but pitch his hips up, pushing in a little bit at a time, catching on the boy’s clit and making him moan brokenly.

Hongjoong was drenched in sweat now, his hair dripping into his eyes from where it had been pulled out of his half-pony. There was a handsome blush stretched across his sharp face, and he regarded San with hooded, aroused eyes. Kneeling back on the bed, between San’s legs and directly behind Wooyoung, he spread the boy’s bottom, examining his hole with a calculating gaze.

The omega whined into San’s shoulder, mouthing limply at the younger alpha’s collarbone, and weakly wiggled his hips back into Hongjoong’s hands. In response, the head alpha squeezed, hard.

“You ready, darling?” he looked up at San, nodding in approval.

Sinking further into his boyfriend’s cunt, San could barely think straight. He couldn’t control the tears burning in his eyes or the spasming in his hips. The pulsing, tightening of Wooyoung’s body around him was intoxicating and normal, but … something about Hongjoong being there, his intense eyes boring into their bodies with love and endless fondness, something about the heaviness of the situation made him want to fade like cotton candy in the rain. He wanted to stay there forever and run away and hide at the same time. Too much too much too much too much.

He nodded, shoving aside his burning emotions. This is about Wooyoung, you selfish piece of-

“Yeah, I’m … I’m ready. Do what you have to do, he’s okay, he’s ready.”

They’d entered the nest, and once San placed Wooyoung on his own feet, the head alpha murmured,

“Phone.”

With shaking hands, Wooyoung turned over the device, watching it disappear into a drawer, Hongjoong’s expression and scent still blank. San kept a hand on his shoulder, the omega trembling underneath his fingers.

“Talk to me, Youngie.” Hongjoong began setting up the room, turning on the strings of twinkle lights, turning the sheets of the bed back, pulling out random things from the closet and dresser.

Wooyoung swallowed hard, still obviously falling in and out of subspace.

“Um … I’m sorry, hyung.”

Hongjoong didn’t turn around. “Keep going.”

San could tell his boyfriend wanted to sprint and hide, but a swell of pride filled him at how the younger stayed put, albeit swaying on his feet a tad.

“I’m … sorry for ignoring your messages. The pack’s messages. I didn’t mean to. I know … I know Yunho’s birthday was important, and I will do my best t-to apologize to him.”

Turning around, Hongjoong folded his arms across his chest and nodded silently.

Wooyoung looked up, his eyes dangerously red and weepy. “And … I’m sorry for being difficult lately,” he breathed, his hands shaking where they hung by his hips. “I’ll be … better, now.”

“You’re gonna answer our texts? You’re gonna stop staying so late at work? You’re gonna talk to us when you’re struggling? You’re gonna stop hurting yourself? I don’t want to scare you, but … this is kind of your last shot. After this, I have to break out the collar and leash.”

Hongjoong’s words were measured and horrible, and Wooyoung stopped moving when they echoed around the room.

“… yes, hyung.”

Wooyoung came unexpectedly, shaking and screaming weakly into San’s chest, his ass in the air and gripped harshly in Hongjoong’s hands. The head alpha was bottoming out in the boy’s hole, and San had already spilled once into his cunt.

“Look at you,” Hongjoong whispered beautifully, tipping forward to kiss the boy’s ear. “So full, so full for alphas. You like all your holes full, huh? Baby, why didn’t you say earlier? Hyungs would have helped you sooner …”

San knew there was a smidge of truth in the filthy dirty talk, but he was so fucked out he couldn’t think straight about much at that moment. His nose was filled with the sickly-sweet scent of his boyfriend, and the need to scream filled him. Exhaustion was pulling at his arms and legs, dragging him into the mattress where he could drown. Overstimulation brought black spots to the edges of his vision, and he blinked back tears. 

San’s thighs were drenched in Wooyoung’s slick, he could feel rivulets of the addictive flow running down his legs, dripping behind his knees. Hongjoong didn’t pull out, but he did slow, eyes closed and concentrated, pumping in and out at a reasonable tempo, chasing a second orgasm. Wooyoung whined at the overstimulation, but San knew this was actually his favorite part. The head alpha grinned at the noises, and he reached over to gather the boy's hair in his fist, only gripping with medium strength, definitely not the hardest he'd pulled before. San noticed how he was being gentler, taking in Wooyoung's fragile state and modifying his methods, and his heart throbbed with gratitude. 

"Gonna, ahh ... gonna fill you up again, darling," he whispered, tipping his head up and sighing, the high-pitched sound dripping like honey into the boys' ears. 

The omega between them vibrated with pleasure, and he sobbed into San’s chest, the other boy letting arousal stir through his stomach again when his cunt clenched hard around his cock, bringing him to hardness once more.

Leaning down, Hongjoong swiped up the discarded pair of green, lacy underwear, fiddling with it in his long fingers. He draped it across Wooyoung’s ass, sliding it back and forth, letting the omega feel the fabric scratch against his sensitive skin, and watched as the sensation sent shivers all up and down the boy’s body.

The whines falling from Wooyoung’s drool-drenched lips were getting hoarse, and San lifted his hands to card through the boy’s hair soothingly, kissing his forehead and whispering sweet nonsense.

Without warning, Hongjoong’s hips quickened, the intensity in his thrusts making Wooyoung whimper, his small hands gripping San’s shoulders for balance, and the only reason he was still kneeling with his ass in the air was the head alpha’s hand holding him up by his hip, his fingers bruising the skin slightly with the weight of the grip.

The lace panties merely resting on his lower back, Wooyoung’s knees shook at the stimulation to his prostate, and he came weakly once more, dripping down San’s cock, soundlessly screaming before sinking slowly deeper into subspace.

Hongjoong’s hand crashed down, spanking Wooyoung’s already slightly pink bottom once, twice, before coming with a growl, pausing his thrusts to bury deep and rock his hips deeper … closing his eyes and letting himself keen, a beautiful sound that San had only ever heard once before.

After coming down from his pleasure, Hongjoong gathered the lace panties in his hand and brought them to Wooyoung’s hole, a satisfied smirk coloring his cheeks. After pulling out, he tucked a decent amount of the scratchy fabric into the boy’s hole, stuffing him and plugging him full of his seed. The remaining minty-green colored material fluttered out of him like a bunny’s tail, and Hongjoong grinned with smug approval, leaning back and sighing.

Wooyougn whined at the intrusion, but immediately sighed in pleasure, every muscle in his body relaxing and falling into San’s ready embrace, a whisper ghosting on his lips.

“… my alphas …”

--- 

An hour later, San was sitting on the floor, in his sweatpants and hoodie, his skin still a little clammy with sweat and his heart still a little sore from their scene. He was watching with a gentle smile and brimming heart as his alpha handled aftercare for the younger boy, a gentle side to the leader showing his beautiful face.

Gently, like a mother handling a newborn child, Hongjoong cupped Wooyoung’s head, moving his hair up off his neck and up into an elastic, all while looking at him with slightly pouted lips and glassy eyes. San watched how the alpha wiped Wooyoung’s face with a wet washcloth and then a small dot or two of moisturizer, smoothing over the skin with soft, gentle fingers. There was a small hum floating through the room, Hongjoong’s light voice wafting over both boys and soothing any frayed nerves from the scene. After cleaning him up, Hongjoong dressed the omega in soft pajamas, tucking him into the nest surrounded by comforting scents and San's favorite stuffies. 

Carefully, Hongjoong focused on the space between Wooyoung’s legs, wiping him down, the wet cloth quickly glistening from the residual slick and come that clung to the omega’s folds. San had to swallow hard to keep from drooling at the sight of his head alpha taking care of his boyfriend, his heart overflowing with fondness and emotions that he didn’t know what to do with. Hongjoong finished, the boy spread before him clean and dry, and leaned down to press a quick, beautiful kiss to Wooyoung’s tummy, whispering something soft that San couldn’t quite hear.

Leaning over the boy, Hongjoong blew gently on Wooyoung’s eyelids, smiling when they flickered open. Wooyoung focused on his hyung’s face, and his mouth fell open slightly, waking up more and more with each moment.

Before the younger could try to say anything, Hongjoong looked at him seriously and whispered,

“… and if the stars fall down?”

San held his breath, heart soaring at the phrase, and he glanced at his boyfriend, who was hiccupping adorably and smiling softly.

Wooyoung snuggled closer to Hongjoong, burying into the comforter, his blush fading only slightly, leaving behind a cute rosy-pink. He nuzzled his cheek into Hongjoong’s palm, his high-pitched voice floating out from the blankets.

“You’ll hold my hand.”

Nodding slowly, Hongjoong leaned down to kiss the boy’s cheek.

“I’ll hold your hand.”

By the time Hongjoong had sat up straighter, Wooyoung had fallen asleep, his cheek smooshed against the pillow beneath him. San smiled and let go of his breath, leaning back on his arms on the carpet. Distantly, his hips ached, and he couldn’t even think about how much his chest was pinching each breath, every heartbeat. He swallowed hard and looked up at the ceiling, gathering the strength to get up and go to bed. Hongjoong most likely wanted to sleep in the nest alone with Wooyoung tonight, so he should give them some space. It would be good for Wooyoung, too.

“Your turn, Sannie.”

“I’m okay.” The words were out of San’s mouth before he registered speaking them, and he blinked up at Hongjoong as the man made his way over, shrugging on a particularly fuzzy sweater and shaking his head in fond exasperation.

He tried to stand up, but the smaller man was faster, thumping down on his knees directly behind him, and wrapping his strong arms around San’s shoulders, hands squeezing his ribs, keeping his pieces from falling apart. San froze, unsure of the sour feeling coursing through him, and he held his breath once more.

“I’ve got you …” Hongjoong whispered right into his ear, and that was it. He was done.

Biting his lip to keep the tears and noises behind his teeth, San leaned back into the alpha and closed his eyes, exhaling slowly.

“… hyungie …” he whimpered, feeling much like a little boy, and Hongjoong tightened his hold, his knees squeezing around San’s hips, and he hummed, the vibrations seeping into San’s shoulders and melting into his bones.

“I didn’t mean to throw you with the bite thing,” the older alpha murmured, and San let the tears seep from his eyes. He twisted around to bury his face in Hongjoong’s shirt, his head pounding and spinning in all directions. Fingers ran soothingly through his hair, and he was tucked firmly into a strong embrace, the strength behind the hug grounding him almost as fast as he spun out of control.

San hiccupped through a breath, his hands reaching up to hold Hongjoong, wrapping around the smaller man’s torso, and he tried to speak.

“I … I w-want to, I promise, I just … I keep waiting for the right time to ask him, b-but he … it keeps getting worse, and I don’t want to scare him … I can’t lose him …”

“Shhh, jagiya … it’s alright … we can talk about it another time ... I've got you ...” Hongjoong mouthed gentle kisses to San’s scent gland, soothing him and letting pheromones soak into the very walls of the bedroom, surrounding them with calm and peace.

The effect was immediate, San slumping into the older alpha’s arms, a low keen falling from his lips. Hongjoong rocked him back and forth on the floor before urging him to stand up with him and walk to the bed, where he could finish aftercare.

     back to blue side ... 

Now ... 

“… any chance you can cut your trip short?  … Wooyoung-ie isn’t doing very well, and he … he asked for you ... ’m scared, and I need you, too ... thank you, honey.”

When Seonghwa walked through the doors with half his grocery list for the week completed, a trio of tired boys tumbling in behind him, he didn’t expect to see his mate and his youngest omega seated at the kitchen table like they were in a damn business meeting. He expected them to be cuddling in the nest, or even on the couch, for fuck’s sake.

But Wooyoung was hugging himself, glued to his seat, and looking half-asleep. Hongjoong looked up the second the Luna walked into the kitchen, and he got up from his seat so quickly, the chair fell over behind him. Seonghwa’s eyes widened at the combination of the two boys’ scents that accosted him, and he quickly took a breath, turning around.

“Sannie, Sangie, Yunnie, I need you to put the groceries away and then go to your rooms. Everything’s fine, but I need to be with your Joongie-hyung and Wooyoungie tonight. Yunnie, can you handle a quiet dinner for the boys?”

He watched the beta and alphas sober at the tone of voice that he adopted, and Yunho nodded seriously. Yeosang and San went back out to the truck to fetch the last of the groceries, and Seonghwa whispered carefully to Yunho,

“Please, darling, please … just, watch out for Sannie, yeah?”

--- 

Seonghwa had insisted that they take their kitchen chairs and form a small circle, saying that the table between them was bad and made it seem like they were fighting. While Hongjoong didn’t quite understand, he did have to agree that it felt better when they could see all of each other, even if they were in straight, wooden chairs.

As the two older boys watched, hands almost squirming to hold the small, sweaty, closed-off boy in front of them, Hongjoong couldn't help the small growl that ghosted on his lips. Seonghwa shook his head in disapproval out of the corner of his eye, but Wooyoung looked up and spoke before he could say anything. 

“They … they gave m-me a CA.”

Hongjoong’s and Seonghwa’s eyes widened, and they glanced worriedly at one another. Corrective Actions were serious in their pack, they having decided very early on that if anyone, including the hyungs, received anything of the sort at work, they must bring it up to the other members relatively soon. Accountability and comfort were major non-negotiables for Hongjoong, and they all learned quickly that it was entirely for the best. They all cared very deeply for each other, and being there for one another included their work lives as well as personal.

Seonghwa leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees, and examined Wooyoung.

“Do you have it with you?”

The boy barely managed a nod, hands shaking as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out the yellow slip of paper.

Hongjoong leaned over to read over Seonghwa’s shoulder.

03.05.19

Corrective Action # 2

Associate: Jung Wooyoung

For: Blatant disrespect, irresponsibility, rudeness, non-compliance, and obvious disregard for management. Final warning, any further actions will be met with termination.

While Hongjoong was spiraling inside at the angrily scribbled words, his mate calmly put the paper down on the floor next to him and folded his hands.

“This is … very vague, Young-ah. What happened, exactly?”

Wooyoung hiccupped his way through a big breath, and with his eyes toward the ceiling to avoid bursting into tears again, he whimpered,

“I, I, um … I was just trying to help, I promise … I shouldn’t have, I, I’m sorry, hyungs, I’m so sorry, I’ll, I’ll, d-do better, I pr-pr-promise –“ he began to hyperventilate, his scent dipping dangerously. 

The older boys both cut him off, Hongjoong leaping forward to grab the boy’s hands, Seonghwa standing to cup Wooyoung’s cheeks and help him breathe.

“It’s alright, little one, you’re not in trouble, yeah? Deep breath, that’s it … we just want to know if you’re hurt in any way, and if there’s anything we should talk about regarding your work life, and … to be completely honest, everything about this is screaming yes to both of those. Okay?” Seonghwa brushed the boy’s hair out of his weepy eyes and tucked him into his arms, hushing him softly.

Hongjoong looked up at his mate and whispered, letting his emotions get the best of him for a fleeting moment, “I … I don’t know what to do, Hwa.”

The older boy nodded and kissed the top of Wooyoung’s head.

“Help me get him to our room, please.”

Wooyoung rambled, gasping, even as Hongjoong carried him up the stairs and down the hallway slowly, towards the big, master bedroom at the far end of the house.

"I ... hyungs, I ... I thought I was just, just h-helping, I ... I swear ..." 

     back to blue side ... 

Mingi had come home with Jongho, but they had gotten Yunho’s text about the situation with Wooyoung and therefore knew to come inside and go right to their rooms. San stayed with Yeosang, who had quietly asked to not be alone, something about a nightmare he’d had the night before. The beta’s room was on the other side of the living room, a smaller room, but just enough for the boy to make his own and create a haven for himself.

A deep green rug covered the wooden floors, and his mattress was tucked into a corner, draped in soft blankets and pillows, lit up gently by the twinkle lights that hung from the ceiling like vines. San made himself comfortable at the older boy’s gaming set that took up most of the space of his desk, while the beta sat anxiously at the edge of his bed, his phone gripped nervously in his hands.

The boy’s hair was messy and greasy, as if he had been avoiding a shower for the last day or so. San didn’t notice how his eyes were glassy, or how his fingers twitched sporadically, or how he gradually began to rock back and forth.

The alpha had headphones on when Yeosang first breathed, a single tear floating underneath his eyelids,

“… something’s … something’s wrong, something’s going to happen …”

And he wasn’t paying attention when the boy’s voice got a little louder, breaking slightly as he stood up, dropping his phone to the floor, another tear following the first.

“Something’s gonna happen, Sannie … Sannie, my chest hurts …”

Panic was filling the older boy’s voice, and he walked across his room on shaking legs, tapping San frantically on the shoulder and making him jerk off his headphones and turn around.

“Hyung? Shit, what’s wrong?”

Yeosang sobbed dryly, his breath entirely too fast, and he wrung his hands before whispering, eyes wide and scared,

“Something bad is gonna happen, I … I don’t know what to do … I’m … my chest hurts, I can’t see … hyung …”

San scrambled to stand up, game forgotten, and he reached for the beta, fear spreading into his chest and squeezing tight. He tried to soothe his scent, but this was much worse than the boy’s other episodes, and Seonghwa was the one to handle those, not San.

“Hey, Sangie-hyung, you’re okay, can you breathe with me, honey? Ready in … good job, and out … okay, squeeze my hands, here,” the alpha held out his hands, and while he calmed his breathing, he glanced at the doorway, secretly hoping their luna had sensed the beta’s distress and had suddenly appeared.

Yeosang took one deep breath before he started weeping for real, his hands getting dangerously cold in San’s grasp, and his voice officially deserted him, leaving him staring up at San with wide, red eyes.

“Okay, I’m going to call Luna, yeah? Hyung is coming, it’s alright.”

Not knowing what else to do, the alpha tucked Yeosang under his arm, holding him close to his chest, and pulled out his phone.

“You what?!?”

Hongjoong’s voice made Wooyoung want to disappear. The omega curled into himself and whispered,

“Don’t make me say it …”

“You make mistakes at work on purpose?”

Wooyoung snapped, his eyes turning red and fiery, and he slammed his fist down on the mattress. Glaring at his beloved hyung, his voice wobbled, and tears fell from his wide eyes.

“Yes, okay? Yes, I do, but it’s not hurting anyone, and … I didn’t know what else to do, alright? So I started, I … I started doing it to spite my manager after hearing him scold one of the younger kids, they’re b-babies, hyung … for something silly, and I just, I got so angry,” he began to rub his eyes furiously with his fist, irritating the skin. “He made them cry, and one of them … fucking relapsed. And I was too cowardly to stand up to the man, so I started doing silly, stupid shit around the café to fuck with him.”

The omega was quivering in rage now, despite the emotion in his words. His eyes were red and stinging, he was locked in his seat, fists pressing harshly into the blankets fruitlessly, and his breaths were becoming too quick for Hongjoong’s liking. Something about his quivering body made the alpha’s worry spike dangerously, and the smell of smoldering grass made his stomach turn.

But … the boy’s words made him pause and think. A smirk colored his lips the longer the considered them, and he ended up leaning back in his seat and snickering.

He could feel his mate’s eyes on him, but he fixed Wooyoung with a look instead.

“Young-ah … that is bad. That is not a good thing, and … we’ll help you … get back on track, I guess. But …” He ran a hand through his hair and smiled fully, closing his eyes.

“It is hilarious. I am proud of your spite, and your courage to bite back after injustice. Your manager sounds incredibly old-fashioned, and unfair. I’m glad you took care of the other boys, okay? I am. I love you, Youngie.”

Wooyoung hadn’t moved, simply blinking at his hyungs, his chest heaving with anxiety.

Seonghwa walked over to the table and placed his hands on his mate’s shoulders, biting back his own smile. But, before he could say anything, his phone began to ring, and his eyebrows notched as he pulled it out to answer it.

Wooyoung didn’t really hear what was going on, his gaze having drifted once more to get lost in the carpet of the bedroom, but he looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Your Yeosangie-hyung is having an episode, I have to go downstairs. Are you going to be okay with Alpha, baby? If you say no, I will stay up here with you, I promise.”

Wooyoung was shaking his head before Seonghwa was finished speaking, and he blinked his red, irritated eyes. “No, no … it’s okay, take care of hyungie, I’m sorry, I’m sorry if it’s my fault, if I –“

The luna stopped him with a shake of his head, and whispered, “You’re okay. Stay with Alpha, and I’ll be up as soon as I can, yeah?”

He bent down to kiss the boy’s cheek, and then squeezed Hongjoong’s hand before hurrying down the stairs a little, anxiety tight in his shoulders.

--- 

“Alright, baby … I think we can handle this. Do you trust me to help you with this? This is a little different than a usual punishment, so … let’s get ready, and then we’ll talk about it. I need you to take your clothes off and go sit on hyungs’ bed. Now, please.”

Wooyoung’s eyes seemed to become fuzzy, and he obeyed Hongjoong’s orders silently.

He held his hands over his head wordlessly, his eyes on the floor.

He was pliant when the alpha pushed him into a bent-over position, submissively grabbing his ankles and shutting his eyes.

He obediently rocked up on his toes when Hongjoong inspected him for bruises from his last spanking, and sighed when the man found none.

He was silent when the first few smacks landed, and he sank into his head as they continued.

He resisted the need to rock on his feet when the intensity increased.

“Tell me, what did we decide on punishment methods when it came to difficulties in the workplace?” Hongjoong’s voice rippled through the bedroom, sending shivers down Wooyoung’s spine.

The omega stared at the wooden floor, not having noticed the tears sprinkling over his cheeks and nose. “We decided on a conversation, lines, and the-the belt.”

There was a slam, likely a drawer closing, before the alpha’s voice sounded, this time low and warning, “Who are you speaking to?”

Wooyoung swallowed hard. “Hyung.” Pathetic omega. 

The moment he felt the first strike, followed by his alpha's low voice explaining to him what he did wrong, he ... he disappeared.

He couldn't listen, he couldn't. 

He hated it.

He was a good kid, he listened, he tried to get better.

He didn't feel the fifth or sixth strike, the leather melting into his red, throbbing skin, and he wanted to want to listen. 

But he couldn't anymore. 

He was too tired. 

“Bluebird,” Wooyoung gasped loudly, and something snapped.

He wasn't counting how many times the belt had whistled down, but his bones were pulsing in blissful cold, and suddenly, his world had narrowed to the hard floor beneath him, the horrible, dark thoughts swirling in his head, his hyung, and the even worse need to let it all go. 

He thudded out of position, onto his knees now with his back facing Hongjoong, and he all but folded his hands to beg. His eyes got heavy, tears falling unnoticed from them as he heaved for breath. 

The head alpha's scent dipped in domspace, and Wooyoung heard faintly when the belt clattered to the floor after the safeword seeped into him through the pack bond. 

"Talk to me, darling, I'm here ..." 

Hongjoong’s hands were too much on his shoulders, and he scrambled away from the older boy, sitting with his back against the corner of the bedroom, curling his trembling legs up to his chest and hugging his body close, not even feeling the redness burning in his bottom.

His eyes becoming impossibly hard to hold open, he closed them and managed to whisper through chattering teeth,

“I … I think about hurting myself all of the time, hyungie … I can’t do this anymore, please … I’ve relapsed so badly, I … I don’t th-think that I can come back, I don’t think I can g-get b-better, I’m so sorry …”

Seonghwa thundered down the stairs, his breath caught in his chest, and the noises of Yeosang’s panic attack got louder the closer he got to the boy’s bedroom. Forcing his scent to settle, the luna hurried down the hallway and reached for his beta, whose breathing needed to be regulated, now. Before something worse happened.

“Darling boy, my baby …” he murmured, gathering Yeosang into his arms out of San’s, and began scenting him immediately, carrying him to the bed where he could sit, pulling the boy into his lap and rocking slowly back and forth.

San was close to tears himself, and Seonghwa quickly reached out one hand to the alpha, soothing him as well. The boy stifled his scent, holding onto Soenghwa’s hand and squeezing for a brief moment to ground himself, before bowing and giving the two of them some space, retreating to Yeosang’s desk, hanging his head.

“Yeosang-ie, lovie …” Seonghwa whispered, continuing to rock carefully, and his other hand began to brush through the boy’s hair. He watched the boy’s face, helping him breathe steadier, and nodding encouragingly when the heaving, choked gasps turned into deeper, gasping breaths.

“Hy … hyungie …” the beta whispered, blinking tears from his lashes, and he reached up for the luna, finally awake and back in his body.

Seonghwa pulled the boy up into a hug, finding San’s gaze from over the beta’s shoulder and nodding. “I’m right here, you’re doing so well, almost there.”

Yeosang’s little hands scrambled for the luna’s back, holding on tight, and he whined brokenly, his soft, delicate voice cracking.

“… hyung, s-something … something’s gonna happen … please, l-let me he-help … help … me …”

The luna hushed him, rubbing up and down his shaking back with a firm hand, his low voice humming through their bodies, “Shhhh, everything’s fine, baby … I promise, everything is alright … Youngie just needs some help, but he’s okay, yeah? Just breathe, you’re safe, hyung’s here …”

San watched the beta calm down, smothered by the luna’s scent and becoming slowly relaxed, hands loosening their death grip on the eldest’s shirt, and his eyes fell closed, no longer weeping. He snuggled into Seonghwa’s neck, sighing carefully, and even though his chest twitched with occasional hiccupping, leftover sob, he drifted gradually into sleep, cradled like a newborn child.

Without waking the boy, Seonghwa gently stood up, carrying him to the head of the mattress, and laid him down slowly. Softly, he tucked the beta into bed, kissing his forehead and whispering things San couldn’t hear.

Then he fluidly crossed the bedroom and knelt down in front of San, turning the desk chair so they were level, and wrapped the alpha in his arms.

“It’s alright, you did the right thing, my love …” he murmured, rubbing San’s arms and shoulders.

Sinking into the hug, San breathed in his hyung’s scent, feeling his muscles relax, and he nodded wordlessly, returning the embrace and letting himself be grounded thoroughly.

“B … baby, I …” Hongjoong got on the floor next to Wooyoung, careful not to touch him, and gasped,

“Baby, why didn’t you say anything? I just … I just punished the crap out of you, and … baby, I trusted you … why didn’t you safeword? Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” He was crying, now, his hands trembling on his thighs, on the brink of a dangerous, severe Dom drop. His chest was caving in, and he couldn’t think straight.

Wooyoung didn’t move, merely shaking and trembling in the corner, his arms wrapped around his knees, and his face hidden between them.

Panicking full-scale, Hongjoong got up and stumbled across the hall, slamming open the older boys' bedroom door.

“Y-Yunnie, Mingi-ah …” he gasped, tears burning down his face and his body wracking with pheromones.

The two boys leapt up from whatever they were doing, Yunho going to wrap his hyung in his arms, pumping out his soothing scent in efforts to calm and halt his panic, and Mingi darting around them to find Wooyoung and take care of him.

Hongjoong sobbed wretchedly into Yunho’s shoulder, his hands clutching the fabric of the younger alpha’s shirt and pulling.

--- 

Being the last to present, Mingi hadn’t found himself going into full Alpha mode often yet, not really even knowing exactly what it felt like. However, the moment he laid eyes on the trembling, weeping, regressed omega curled into a ball in the corner, he could literally feel his instincts taking over his body, flowing freely into his arms and legs. His alpha calmly whispered to his brain what to do, and soon he was a whole new person.

“Hello, lovie … you’re alright, here, Alpha’s got you … come with me ….”

Without really knowing why, the older boy shed his sweater and shirt, and crouched down, gathering Wooyoung in his arms and pressing him forcibly against his chest. The skin-to-skin contact helped the omega to breathe a little deeper, but he was still locked inside his head, his eyes closed and his body still shaking. Wrapping the boy’s naked form in his arms, he stood, carrying him to the bed.

“It’s alright … you’re safe, baby … breathe with hyungie … good job …”

With steady hands, Mingi laid Wooyoung on a soft blanket, making sure his bottom wasn’t jostled or uncomfortable, and began gathering cream, a packet of wipes, fresh underwear, and pajamas. He tied Wooyoung’s hair up out of his face and began cleaning him up, wiping his face of tear tracks, before tossing the wipe and rubbing a little moisturizer on his cheeks and under his eyes. He pulled the pajama shirt over the boy’s head and tucked his arms into the sleeves.

His heart sank when he saw fresh-ish cuts lining the boy’s upper ribs, almost invisible among the acne scars and old scars. Determined, he kept working, his body moving gently and quickly.

Wooyoung had started breathing easier, though his eyes were still closed, and he slowly brough his hands up to clutch his sleeves under his chin, letting Mingi continue to clean him up and dress him.

Gently, Mingi cleaned between Wooyoung’s legs, where a small amount of slick had gathered, and then pulled a pair of soft, cotton underwear up to nestle on the boy’s thighs while Mingi rubbed soothing cream into the slight pinky-red color ghosting over his bottom.

After Wooyoung was fully dressed, his underwear nestled on his hips and his pajama pants following, Mingi scooped him up again, carrying him like a child over to the rocking chair that sat in the corner, and began murmuring soothingly,

“Darling, I need to see those beautiful eyes before I let you go to sleep, yeah? Show me you’re here with me … show me you’re here with alpha …”

There was a slight twitch to the omega’s eyebrows, and he wrinkled his nose before stiffly burying his face in the older boy’s neck, whining brokenly.

Thrilled that he got at least a small reaction from the boy, Mingi sighed.

“Your eyes, baby boy.”

Huffing wetly, Wooyoung shifted his head to lay on his hyung’s shoulder, and cracked his eyes open, squinting heavily at Mingi, who smiling gently and nodded. He began to rock in the chair, humming low and rubbing Wooyoung’s back with his big, strong hand.

“Go to sleep, it's okay, I’m here.”

---  

Hongjoong couldn’t hear what happened next, his ears were steadily filling with cotton. Mingi disappeared from his vision, and something in his chest panicked, but Yunho’s strong grip on his shoulders yanked him back to the present, clearing his mind gradually until the only things he could think about were Yunho-Alpha, and help, please.

Yunho’s scent quickly overcame him, and he felt his throat contract when he gasped, as if a tub of ice water had been tossed over his head. The refreshing scent of lilac and rain erased all of his fear, leaving behind a terrible desperation and skeleton of emotion, unlike anything he’d experienced in years.

His fingers tightened on the younger Alpha’s shirt, and he managed to sniffle, his face still buried completely in the man’s shoulder.

“Y-yunnie …” he whispered, and the arms around him immediately pressed him closer, the deep pressure wiping his mind clean like a wet eraser on a chalkboard.

“Hyung,” came the boy’s deep, grounding voice, and Hongjoong felt tears burning down his face. “If you have to codeword, you do it. I won’t judge.”

The thought was terrible, and Hongjoong all but stomped his foot in stubborn reply. He whined high and miserably in his throat, and he bit back a cluster of humiliating sobs that soured on his tongue. Yunho’s arms were soothing as they rubbed up and down his back, and he worked hard, biting his lip, as he inhaled deeply.

Through the rapidly approaching fog of subspace, he warbled the code words the two of them agreed upon long ago in their university days, when Hongjoong was struggling with some heavy traumatic responses, and Yunho offered a method to help him release.

“Yellow finch, Yunho-yah. Yellow finch. Please.”

Yunho burst into action with smooth motions, handling Hongjoong’s body so he didn’t have to. Keeping the head alpha’s face tucked into his shoulder so he wouldn’t be overwhelmed with too many lights or movements, he half carried, half steered the older boy down the hall and into the nest. He shut the door behind him and neglected, on purpose, to turn the lights on. Hongjoong was seizing up, holding his breath as he was bodily moved, and Yunho grunted, frustratedly, at the realization.

He landed two swift smacks to the Alpha’s bottom, whispering, “Breathe, hyung. Breathe now.”

The nest was dark, a curtain of soft, gentle sound laying over everything, and Yunho worked with calm, smooth energy, bringing Hongjoong to the edge of the mattress and standing the shorter boy in front of him. With steady fingers, he took the older Alpha’s sweater off, leaving him in just his jeans and tank top, with his face red and teary as he stood obediently, eyes screwed shut, and inhaling deeply through gritted teeth.

Yunho sat down, looking up with the world in his eyes at his hyung, and he slowly began to undo the man’s jeans, slowly pulling them down to his ankles and helping him step out of them. Silence overtook them when Hongjoong stopped crying, settling deeply into his headspace, and Yunho whispered,

“Hyung. Tell me. Give it to me. I can take it, I’m strong. You taught me to be strong. Let me. Let me be strong.”

Hongjoong’s words were mixed with his Alpha bond, seeping into Yunho through his pores and making his heart ache relentlessly for his hyung, for his leader.

“He needed me to see him, and I failed. He needed me to lead him to safety, and I failed him. He needed me to fucking rescue him, and I failed. I don’t deserve to see him ever again, I failed him. I don’t deserve any of you, you don’t deserve someone like me. You deserve someone stronger, someone smarter, someone kinder, I failed him. I failed him, I didn’t see him, I hurt him, I hurt him, I hurt him-“

Yunho pursed his lips, blinking back painful tears, and cut his hyung off with a soft murmur, “Okay, that’s enough. Come here,”

The next several minutes were quiet, save for Hongjoong’s heavy, labored breathing as he was swiftly guided straight into subspace. Yunho’s big hands gently removed the older boy’s boxers, pulled him to straddle his lap, and cupped his face to breathe with him for a long minute, helping his body to relax. Then, once Hongjoong had leaned forward to rest his head on the younger Alpha’s shoulder, Yunho reached over to grab the bottle of lube on the nightstand.

Gathering Hongjoong closer to his chest, the younger Alpha reached down and prodded gently at his hyung’s naked hole, relishing in the sigh of relief that fell from the older boy’s mouth, and allowed himself a moment for his inner alpha to hum and purr with satisfaction. Slowly, tenderly … he pushed the first finger in.

After stretching Hongjoong out over the course of two minutes, Yunho retracted his fingers and wiped them on his jeans before unbuttoning them and taking his cock, half-hard already, out, wincing at the sensitivity. With another small squirt of lube, he lathered himself up and positioned the red, sweating tip at Hongjoong’s entrance.

“Hyung,” Yunho breathed, his other hand reaching up behind the older to hold him about the shoulders and rock back and forth soothingly. Something was blinking, flashing in warning inside his inner alpha, giving him pause.

Hongjoong dragged his red, puffy face out of Yunho’s shoulder and swung his gaze up to look the younger in the eyes, narrowly dancing on the line between clarity and subspace.

“I’m … mmmm o-okay,” he slurred, licking his saliva-slick lips and twitching his hips into Yunho’s length, the tip catching on his relaxed, wet rim.

The younger boy smiled, feeling beads of sweat running down his hairline at the combined arousal in their scents, and his heart clenched at how he was able to bring his Alpha, his best friend, back to himself with their intimate, albeit odd, method. He reached up and smoothed Hongjoong’s hair out of his eyes, nodding slowly through his sad smile.

With steady hands, he guided Hongjoong’s hips down, pressing inside of him slowly, inch by inch, until their thighs were flush and the older was letting out glorious, wretched whines, tears streaming down his face as he let go, finally. Yunho wrapped his arms around Hongjoong, and leaned back against the pillows, content to lie and let himself be used. The older boy was gone, mumbling half-words into his shirt, and soon fell fast asleep, his hole fluttering occasionally around Yunho’s slightly throbbing length.

Yunho whispered his prayers and texted his other hyung, letting him know the situation, before messaging his mate, worry for a certain omega beginning to settle in his veins now that Hongjoong was effectively settled.

8:20 pm

Me

How bad is it?

The reply wasn’t as quick as he’d like, but it was soon enough to sway any further worry that would have spiked through his nervous system.

8:24 pm

Mingaroni <3

Bad

But not irreversible

I think Seonghwa hyung was right

He’s sleeping now

I found new cuts

Is hyung okay?

Are you okay?

8:25 pm

Me

Considering he is content being speared on my dick, he should make a full recovery :)

I’m not sure what happened, but I agree. We should have a pack meeting as soon as literally possible

Would you like to text the group, or should I?

8:26 pm

Mingaroni <3

Wow. You two haven’t had to do that in, what, three years?

I hope he’s okay

You can do it, my phone’s about to die

Love you

I’ll bring him to the nest in a few hours, yeah?

8:28 pm

Me

It’s been five years since the last time

They’ll both be okay, honey.

Unfortunately, we’ve been through worse

Love you too

Hug Youngie for me, yeah?

San was fetching the last of the ice cream sandwiches from the freezer when his phone dinged. He read the messages with half-asleep eyes, feeling his stomach slowly sink at the words. His breath became too quick, and he had to rub his collarbone with a fist to reverse the imminent panic attack.

9:34 pm

Yun Hyung

9-1-1

Pack meeting 6 pm tomorrow night

Seonghwa-hyung should lead the meeting

No one is in trouble, I promise, this is merely a safety concern

Love you all

-YuYu

     back to blue side ... 

Later that night, with a sore bottom and an even more sore heart, Wooyoung padded softly down the hallway to the nest, where Seonghwa had gone immediately after hearing about Hongjoong’s moment. He sniffled quietly before creaking the door open and poking his head inside.

Seonghwa was spooning the head alpha from behind, cuddling among the countless blankets that covered the mattress, and the luna looked up, smiling sadly at the younger boy standing in the doorway.

Hongjoong was fast asleep, his cheek smooshed into the pillow underneath his head, and his hands were tightly wrapped around Seonghwa’s arms that were tucked around his body, as if he was scared of being let go. Wooyoung’s heart clenched, and his cheeks were still on fire from the events of the evening, but he made the decision to do this, so he would.

Slowly, his hands fiddling with the sleeves of his sleep shirt, the omega came to stand in front of the mattress, wiping his eyes when they began to burn again. His head was still dangerously fuzzy, and he had no idea where his phone was, but once Mingi had let him go after his tiny nap and settling, he knew he needed to be near the head alpha. Just to be in the same room as the older boy would have been enough. 

He knelt, leaning his arms on the mattress in front of Hongjoong’s face, carefully so as not to wake him, and laid his head on his hands, tears threatening to spill as he watched his hyung sleep.

Without thinking much, he took a deep breath and felt his omega stirring weakly, brokenly. 

"... the stars are falling, hyung ..." 

Wooyoung got through his designated tasks, hoping he could sneak out without his manager noticing, but just as he was reaching for his backpack, his phone dinged with a laundry list of closing duties he needed to complete before leaving. He had started to wish he didn't ask Seonghwa for his phone before leaving that morning, instead letting it remain missing. 

Rolling his eyes and stamping his foot, he decided to speedrun the tasks and then go straight home, hopefully only a little late to the pack meeting. He tucked his phone into his backpack and rolled his sleeves up, hurrying back out onto the line.

The espresso machine needed to be deep cleaned, so he sighed and got the cleaning tablets down from the shelf and got to work.

The gaskets on the cooler doors were much worse than both he and his manager anticipated, so, cursing under his breath, he fetched the bleach and scrubbed them down completely.

The closer from the night before forgot to fill out the temperature logs, and Wooyoung would be damned before he let those go uncompleted again, so he quickly scribbled fake temperatures in the margins to cover for them, as well as filled his own log out.

By the time he was getting ready to leave again, everyone else had cleared out, so he locked the café up and jogged to his car at the furthest end of the parking lot.

It was long after dark.

His phone was dead.

His watch was dead.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I am so dead …” he whispered as he turned his key in the ignition, his eyes glued to the rusty old dashboard to see the clock light up, the red flashing numbers sealing his fate.

9:16 pm

“If there was a version of dead that is more dead than dead … that’s you, Wooyoung,” he mumbled miserably to himself, sniffling as he drove out of the parking lot.

None of the pack were awake when he opened the screen door of the kitchen. There was a note attached to the fridge door, a cute butterfly magnet holding it in place as he stood dumbly, reading with bleary eyes.

Wooyoungie <3

Pack meeting was rescheduled for tomorrow night, just make sure you charge your phone this time! Remember we love you darling!

Have a wonderful day tomorrow at work, and we’ll see you later.

Love,

San and Seonghwa hyungs

Something deep inside the omega churned, knowing that the pack likely turned the two members closest to Wooyoung on the task of writing him a note, letting him know kindly that he had missed the one thing he was supposed to be there for. Letting him down gently. Telling him he was a failure, but they’d let him try again. Patching him up after a scene before ... before ... 

With only slightly trembling fingers, Wooyoung reached for a green marker from the kitchen drawer next to the fridge and drew a small heart next to the other boy’s names, his nonverbal way of telling them he’d read their note and understood.

He didn’t shower before collapsing into bed that night, only just remembering to set his alarm. Not that his body wouldn’t wake him up at the crack of dawn regardless. It was always nice to be safe.

     back to blue side ... 

Wooyoung missed the pack meeting. Again. 

Looking down at his hands, Seonghwa felt a deep well of hurt filling his chest, and he longed to fall apart. He sighed, swallowing hard, keeping it together for his pack, for his mate. His hands were cold, he was too tired to be staying up this late, and he could all but feel the wheels in Hongjoong's head turning, spinning creakily with each passing moment. He'd kept an eye on the alpha after the night before, and only just now had it begun to get bad again. 

“I know I’m not the only person who’s noticed … Youngie’s gotten spanked a lot lately. Like, I know he usually needs maintenance often, but this isn’t … this is … I don’t know,” Yeosang looked down, biting his lip, embarrassed. “I’m just worried. That’s all. Sorry.”

Hongjoong stood up quickly as soon as the beta stopped talking, his hands gripped in shaky fists, and he murmured quietly,

“Seonghwa-yah, can you … come upstairs with me for a moment, please?”

He held his hand out for the Luna, who blinked up in surprise before scrambling to get up and follow. The pack, while understanding, was obviously tense, watching them walk up the stairs. Seonghwa bit his lip, worry fleeting through his system at how his mate’s hand shook in his, even as he walked steadily towards their bedroom.

After the door closed behind them, the alpha let go of his hand, crossing the room to begin pacing wildly, hands coming up to cover his face.

“I’m s-sorry, I just, I just, I … I couldn’t cry in front of them, not this time, not about this, I’m sorry …” he whispered, pausing his pacing and hunching his shoulders. His sobs were caught in his throat, choking him audibly.

“Oh, Joong,” Seonghwa gasped, his heart breaking, and he quickly walked over, taking his alpha’s shoulders in his hands and pulling him close, doing his best to comfort.

Hongjoong always was good at controlling his emotions, letting them out when he needed to, and keeping them hidden when they would be counterproductive. He never necessarily turned comfort away, especially after he and Seonghwa got together, but he never did get over letting himself want to ask for it.

“I’m sorry-“ the alpha choked out, tipping his head into the luna’s warm arms, and Seonghwa hushed him, steering him toward the bed on the far wall.

The alpha stilled, his shoulders tightening, and he whispered, “No, I’m … if I sit down, it’s gonna get worse, I can’t … I’ll be okay, just … can you, can … can you just hold me?”

So, they stood in the middle of the room, Hongjoong tucked into the older boy’s arms, swaying slightly back and forth, until the alpha’s tears stopped and he could take a full, deep breath. 

“I’m sorry, Hwa.”

Seonghwa kissed the boy’s hair, sighing deeply. “It’s okay, baby. Talk to me?”

“I’m so scared. I can’t keep hitting him. I can’t keep doing this. I’m so worried about him, I don’t know what else to do.”

The head alpha was tiredly leaning up against his mate, his eyes tightly closed and his scent dipping in confusion, fear. Seonghwa ran his hands through the boy's hair, cooing gently, a soothing purr rising in his chest. 

"We'll be alright, you'll be okay ... right now, I need you to breathe, baby. Once you're ready, we'll go back downstairs and make a decision about Youngie. Breathe with me, now, baby, in ... good job, out ... in ..." 

--- 

“Regardless of what’s, uh, happening up there … I think we should consider giving Wooyoung a night with hyungs. To, for lack of a better phrase, set him straight. I think a scene would not only be what he might be craving, but also … Youngie has always had a terrible time saying how he really feels. He’ll go through a thousand words before he tells you what’s actually going on in his head. I think a night with Alpha and Luna will help him tremendously. Not as a punishment, but … and, I don’t wanna say intervention, but-“

San interrupted Yunho, his deep voice the strongest it had been all evening.

“He just needs help coming back to himself.”

Yunho nodded, looking at San with burning eyes. The other members nodded and agreed softly, awkwardly pretending they couldn’t hear Hongjoong falling apart in the room above them.

Eventually, Mingi stood up, reaching for Yunho’s hand.

“We should give them some space. I’m sure someone will send out a group message soon, but … maybe without Wooyoung in the chat.”

Wooyoung didn’t know how he made it through his shift alive. His entire body was covered in sweat, and his mind was fuzzier than it had been in years. He couldn’t speak, telling Yeonjun and Changbin that he had a sore throat. He couldn’t concentrate, and thanked the heavens that Park-nim had taken the day off and couldn’t scold him constantly throughout the day for ‘dilly-dallying’.

He stumbled out of the café at almost 8pm, the sun long since set, and drove home in numb, freezing silence.

He shakily unlocked the kitchen door, tripping over his shoelaces before landing inside, scrambling for the light switch.

It wasn’t until he’d gotten his coat off and his boots on the mat, that he stood up straight, heading for the bench to put his bag down, that he noticed Hongjoong waiting for him in the living room. The alpha was sitting in a hoodie and sweatpants, a book propped open, and a mug of tea in his hand. He smiled sadly at Wooyoung, his scent muffled once more.

Stomach sinking, Wooyoung froze. He wasn’t stupid; he knew he’d have to speak with the leader at some point, and they’d need to have a serious discussion, but fuck. He was tired. He couldn’t think straight. He needed …

He needed help.

Before he could think of how to say something, the alpha closed his book slowly, silently, and stood, padding softly into the kitchen.

"Darling ..." he whispered, the words smelling of spiced, sugar-y orange. 

Before Wooyoung could blink through his tears and try to find a response, Hongjoong stepped forward to cup the boy’s cheeks, looking seriously into his eyes, with his lips pursed and his eyebrows knit.

The omega all but whimpered underneath him, and he whispered, shaking his head authoritatively.

“No more, Wooyoung-ie.”

Wooyoung gasped, tears finally falling across his freckled cheeks, and Hongjoong repeated himself,

“No … no, more, Wooyoung-ie.”

Slowly, the younger boy nodded, and, swallowing hard, he dropped his bag and keys onto the table, letting the lead alpha take his hands and begin walking him towards Seonghwa, who was waiting for them by the doorway leading to the living room. Wooyoung dropped his gaze to the floor, watching his hyungs’ shoes move in front of him. This was it, this was how they were going to tell him that he was too much, he wasn't a good fit for them anymore. This was how they carefully, gently, with their beautiful smiles and their tender touches, let him go. This was how they got rid of him. 

Seonghwa stopped him before they got into the bedroom, putting two hands on his shoulders and rubbing, the warmth doing nothing to soothe the ugly, molding fear in Wooyoung’s heart.

“Darling … what’s your color right now?”

Without thinking, the omega whispered, “Yellow.”

Hongjoong turned around immediately, his shoulders squaring in alert. “Talk to us, Young-ah.”

Again, thinking wasn’t Wooyoung’s strongest suit at that moment, and he blinked wearily at the carpet under his feet, lips barely moving.

“Are you going to make me leave now? Are you … going to get rid of me right after this?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he could feel his body falling apart, as if his words were actively ripping out his nerves. His legs were the first to go numb, next his arms, and finally his stomach and chest, dropping through his body and sinking into the floor. It became harder to keep his eyes open, and he blinked heavily, wanting to just sleep. Please, God, let me sleep.

“… -oong-ah, his scent-“

“… shit, Wooyoung-ah look at-“

“H-he’s not breathing, hyung-“

“-young-ie! Look at me, take a big breath,”

When the omega opened his eyes, he was kneeling on the floor, sandwiched between his hyungs, Hongjoong holding him from the back with his arms tightened around his middle, and Seonghwa folded into his chest and neck. The two of them were slowly, steadily covering him with their scents, a waterfall of pheromones seeping over him like mist, and he blinked, his body carefully coming back online and tingling.

His lungs were burning, so he inhaled shakily, feeling his body moving achingly, creaking like an old door on rusty hinges. Tears were blurring his eyes, but his mind was full of his hyungs’ scent, filling his body with calm and safety, two things he hadn’t allowed himself to experience in a long while.He was going to miss this, so he might as well saok it in as much as he could before he disappeared. 

Slowly, he lay his head on Seonghwa’s shoulder, something twitching in his heart when the Luna gasped softly and tenderly in relief, and Hongjoong slid forward on his knees to follow him, the three of them squishing into an embrace rather than a hold. 

Wooyoung was on his hands and knees, naked, with his chest and face pressed into the carpet, and his hips humiliatingly high in the air. Gasping lightly, he felt the familiar fog of subspace slowly approaching, but it was as if he was watching it through the television or listening to it from a room apart. Tears burned in his eyes at the frustration of being so far away, and he clenched his muscles in defiance.

Just as soon as he was beginning to consider opening his fucking mouth again and asking for help, a hand settled on his bare hip, sending shivers through his thighs and ass, and he whined into the touch.

“No more, Wooyoung-ah,” came Seonghwa’s low, smooth voice.

The bent-over omega whimpered, shaking his head into the carpet.

“Say it,” the first smack wasn’t even a real smack, with no force, a mere pat, but it startled Wooyoung, and he wailed, hiccupping through his tears,

“No m-more, hy-hyungies … no m-more.”

Seonghwa knelt on the floor, a fluffy quilt spread across his lap, and he pulled Wooyoung’s top half onto his knees, gathering his hands and squeezing. Whenever Wooyoung would come home from a particularly hard day at school, he could ask to lie like that, his head in the elder’s lap, and to have his hair played with. Seonghwa remembered the first time he asked, how scared and vulnerable he was, asking for a reassuring touch.

“You’re doing so well, baby, almost there …” The Luna now began to run his fingers through the boy’s hair, feeling the soft, throbbing heat that pulsed from his forehead. The boy’s eyelids were fluttering sporadically, and the older boy’s heart thrummed with compassion.

Hongjoong steadily brought his hand down, keeping up a consistent tempo of light smacks, the omega’s skin barely a shade of pink now. The boy’s bottom was likely still sore and sensitive from the last few spankings he’d gotten, and on top of that, Hongjoong was going light on purpose. He stared at the back of Wooyoung’s head, his eyes glassy and attentive.

“No more, Wooyoung-ie …” the alpha murmured, his voice scratchy with emotion, and Seonghwa looked up at his mate, feeling their bond begin to thrum with love and tenderness, quickly followed by a fierceness that the luna hadn’t felt from Hongjoong in years. Not since … well, not since Wooyoung was much smaller and younger.

The omega whispered brokenly into Seonghwa’s lap, “No m-more hyungies …”

Hongjoong let his hand rest against the boy’s bottom, sighing carefully and settling his scent. “Almost done, sweetheart.”

Taking the small break, the omega raised his head shakily, tears still blurring in his eyes, and he brokenly blurted out, staring into the middle distance of the bedroom,

“Pl-please, I’m … I’m so-sorry, I don’t … I don’t wanna keep getting in trouble, I’m sorry … please, don’t let me go … please l-love me, hyung-hyungies …”

Seonghwa was the one to call it, looking up at Hongjoong with his stony-serious expression, shaking his head, and deeming the ‘punishment’ over. The head alpha nodded, shuffling across the carpet to grab the other blanket, and he wrapped Wooyoung up in it, tucking it all around his small body, humming gently under his breath as he did.

The omega relaxed into Seonghwa’s lap, his hands clutching the fuzzy blankets that were surrounding him, and his cries ebbed out slowly.

“Of course, we love you, sweetheart, and we will never let you go. You’re ours, yeah? Forever. Our Wooyoung-ie …”

A wretched, horrible sound ripped up out of Wooyoung's body at Hongjoong's words, and he frantically grabbed onto his hyungs, clinging to them for dear life. Seonghwa was the one to begin smothering the boy with calming scents, pressing loving, slow kisses all along his shoulder, but Hongjoong followed quickly, the two of them working hard and fast to restart the boy's pheromones. 

They lay together on the floor for over an hour, Wooyoung clinging to the two of them and refusing to sink into sleep yet, stubbornly. Seonghwa pulled him higher up into his lap, so the two older boys could hold him in their arms and rock him back and forth like a baby.

Hongjoong hummed softly, running his hands through Wooyoung’s hair and across his smooth, flushed cheeks, ignoring the slightly harsh buzzing throughout his head, content to merely sit together, connected somehow. He sensed the moment Wooyoung was overwhelmed and overstimulated by the combination of his hyungs’ pheromones, the scent of the boy slicking up unconsciously making him worried.

“Let’s get him in the shower,” he whispered to Seonghwa, who nodded softly.

After Hongjoong had finished toweling him off, the shivering omega stood obediently, waiting on the bath mat, hands clutched to his chest as he blinked, trying to see through the fog.

Seonghwa slowly sat down on the closed toilet seat, patting his lap and murmuring low, “Come here, little one …”

His brain was processing too slowly, Wooyoung’s eyes widened in fear, and he shook his head frantically, obviously thinking he was about to be smacked again.

The eldest shook his head kindly and held up the small tub of soothing cream they kept in the closet. “It’s alright, your punishment is over, hyung promises. We take care of you, afterwards, yes?”

He patted his thigh once more, the soft fabric of his sweatpants looking incredibly inviting to Wooyoung’s sore and stiff body, and the boy stared at him for a long few seconds while he convinced his legs to move. Slowly, gingerly, he laid down across Seonghwa’s knees, placing his hands on the cold tiles beneath his face, and closed his eyes. He was still reeling from the whiplash of his hyung's telling him he wasn't about to be sent away. 

The first touch of his oldest hyung’s hand against the stinging, red skin of his bottom was ever so soft … smoothing over the expanse of his ass, hips, and thighs, a soothing, cooling touch that made Wooyoung exhale deeply into the floor. The cream was next, immediately cooling the lingering pain from the spanking, and Seonghwa worked with precise, practiced ease, covering every inch of the boy’s red skin.

Once the cream had been efficiently rubbed into Wooyoung’s bottom, Seonghwa continued to massage, his long, gentle fingers pressing soothingly up and down the soft, moisturized skin, drawing soft, high-pitched sounds out of the younger omega.

The massage was pushing him closer and closer to subspace, and he was too tired to put up his usual bratty fight. He went limp over Sweonghwa’s lap, sighing deeply and hearing, faintly, Hongjoong rustling around the bathroom behind him.

Oh, shit, he was fading fast, losing feeling in his arms and shoulders, but his eyes blearily cracked open when Seonghwa’s fingers gently, slowly, pried apart his ass cheeks, and the warm bathroom air floated over the most intimate part of him, sending shivers up and down his tired legs.

He heard himself whimper slowly, biting his lip, when Hongjoong hovered over his exposed body, and a cold, jelly-like substance dripped onto Wooyoung’s hole, immediately being rubbed into the skin with small, lithe fingers.

Falling quickly into the deep, fluffy headspace that enveloped him at the prodding, smooth fingers, Wooyoung didn’t even notice when he was stretched open, lube being pressed into him gently.

The slightly cold, wet glass plug was slid inside him in one push, and he was gone.

--- 

Seonghwa was rubbing his hands into the moist, pink skin of Wooyoung’s bottom long after the boy had passed out, and was staring into the shower curtain in front of him, dissociating completely.

The head alpha cleaned up the rest of the bathroom before sighing and squatting down in the luna’s line of sight, his eyebrows notching in sympathy.

“Love,” he murmured, his voice amplified by the humidity lingering in the bathroom air.

Seonghwa didn’t blink, his mind still far away.

“Hyung, look at me,” Hongjoong ordered, his voice gentle and strong, and his heart pinged when the luna came back alive, his eyes welling up slightly and his hands stopping their soft ministrations.

After a long minute of meeting each other’s eyes, Hongjoong whispered, “What is it? What are you thinking?”

Seonghwa didn’t hesitate. “I’m going out for a bit,” his voice was hoarse and low, and Hongjoong could tell by the boy’s scent that there was no stopping him or swaying his decision.

After working together to dress the omega locked in subspace sleep, Seonghwa wordlessly changed clothes, grabbed his keys and hoodie, and left, closing the door dangerously silently behind him.

--- 

He came to a while later, sitting on Hongjoong’s lap, and feeling gentle fingers pulling a wooden hairbrush through his hair, the sensation soothing every tense muscle that had been locked in his body for the last six months. He sighed against his alpha’s shoulder and nuzzled his face deeper into the older boy’s sweater.

Wooyoung blinked up at his hyung, the words freezing in his throat. He let himself enjoy the feeling of the brush running through his hair and decided to murmur instead,

“Wh-where’s Yuna?”

The pack alpha smiled so softly, his eyes sparkling with love, and he whispered, a slight embarrassed smirk coloring his cheeks by the time he was finished.

“Um, Seonghwa-hyung is … uh, well, he … he’s at the café, baby.”

Wooyoung spun so quickly up out of subspace, he felt his stomach drop. Sitting up, he moved too quickly, causing the brush in his hair to fall out of his hyung’s hand and clatter to the floor.

Hongjoong raised his eyebrows at the boy’s startle, but otherwise stayed still, his scent calm and … infuriatingly peaceful.

Feeling something inside his chest ache horridly, Wooyoung asked, “Wh-why? Why is he at the café?”

The head alpha sighed carefully, bringing a hand up to brush his thumb against the omega’s cheek, soothing him quietly.

“I … I don’t really know, darling. But he’s a big boy, he can handle himself. He’ll be home soon, and you two can talk then, yeah?”

Mingi and Yunho both had to stop San more than once from interrupting the scene, the sound of his lover’s cries making his eyes dilate and his muscles tense. He was good, after a few warning swats, and stayed quiet in the living room downstairs. Mingi let him borrow his noise-cancelling headphones after a while, when the smacks and yelps cascading down the stairs were too much.

After a long while though, long after San began to muse that he would have to go to bed without checking on Wooyoung, Yunho creapt down the stairs, a small smile on his face. He shared a look with Mingi before kneeling in front of San and gently taking the headphones off.

San winced, expecting to be accosted by the noises of the heavy scene taking place above him, but … it was quiet. He blinked at Mingi, who took his hands and squeezed, whispering,

“You can go up, now, puppy. Go get him, he’s ready for you.”

The alpha ripped his hands out of the older boy’s grasp before bounding up the stairs comically quickly, stumbling over one and making a fool of himself on the rest. The other two boys watched, smiling fondly, as he reached the head alpha and luna’s bedroom, calmed considerably, and quietly knocked.

Wooyoung blinked his eyes open, coming up out of a daze for what seemed the hundredth time that evening, to see San’s face swimming in front of his eyes. He smiled automatically, closing his eyes and snuggling back into the pillows.

“San-ah,” he cooed, his voice breaking only a little.

The alpha surprised them both by crashing to his knees in front of Wooyoung, his hands resting on the mattress next to the younger boy, and he gasped softly, emotions suddenly choking him and squeezing about his chest.

“Youngie, please … please …” he breathed, startled to find tears falling so soon.

The omega sat up too quickly at the sight of his boyfriend’s tears and the sound of his heart breaking, and winced when he put too much pressure on his sore, red backside. Quickly brushing it off, however, he sat up and cradled the older boy’s face in his hands, panic slowly seeping into his voice.

“San-ah? What’s the matter? I’m okay, I promise, you … you don’t have to worry about me … and we can talk all you want, darling, what’s wrong? Don’t cry, San-ah …”

The alpha slid forward so he could lay his arms on the mattress and set his head in between them, crying nearly on Wooyoung’s lap. Panic shot through the omega, and he moved to bend all the way over, enveloping San in his body, shaking and hurrying to soothe, whimpering,

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you uspet, I promise, I’m so sorry, my darling, please … it’s not your fault! I just …” he stifled the nausea rising in his throat and bit back a sob, “I just … get into trouble like all the time, but I promise I’m okay! Hyungs took good care of me, and … and … please? San-ah?”

He sank his fingers into the older boy’s hair and rubbed frantically at his shoulders as if he could comfort San into stopping his whimpering sobs.

When the young alpha finally raised his head, his eyes were red and wet, and his jaw was set, betraying how much he wanted to stay in control of his words. He nodded at Wooyoung who was desperately trying not to cry along with him, and whispered through slightly clenched teeth,

“Wooyoung-ah … I need … I need to be yours. I need you to be mine.”

The omega gasped, “Baby, you have me! We’re okay, I’m never going to get rid of you, you don’t have to worry, we-“

“No, Wooyoung-ie …” San gripped the boy’s hips with his hands, sliding closer and craning his neck up to look in his eyes. “I need to bite you, I’m so sorry … please? Please let me make you mine? Make me yours? I can’t go through anything more without knowing you’re … you’re mine, and you’re safe, and you’re … Young-ah …”

The sobs were back, and Wooyoung shuddered at the intensity of the words spinning around his head.

He didn’t even realize he was purring, the sound nearly thundering in his own ears, and he wasn’t shocked to feel his inner omega coming up, awake and alive, at the proposal, at the thought of being claimed. Wooyoung managed to smile weakly, sliding off the bed to latch himself to his boyfriend, smothering the older boy with his calming, vanilla scent. He whispered slowly before leaning in for a kiss,

“Of course, make me yours. You’re all mine, forever.”

---

Thirty minutes later they pulled apart and curled up together, quietly began discussing the details. 

“I … I want everyone to be there. I don’t, I don’t know why, I just … can they,” he swallowed his embarrassment and watched San for any signs of disgust, “… can they just watch? Would you be alright with that?”

San blinked, his eyebrows rising slightly. “Um,” he cleared his throat, and Wooyoung slid to the edge of his seat, ready to profusely apologize and say that they could do it however San wanted, that he was joking, that-

“I am … rock hard. At the thought. Of our mating being a pack event.”

Laughing nervously, the omega couldn’t help but glance down, smiling wider at the sight of San tenting in his pants, and he cocked his head in sympathy.

“Okay. Thank you, baby … when do you want to do it?”

San didn’t get a chance to respond, since Mingi and his boyfriend knocked kindly on the door, bringing up a tray of cut fruit and water along with a hot pot of stew in case Wooyoung wanted something warm for his tummy. The two alphas melted at the sight of the omega curled up around his boyfriend and cooed when they told them of their plans to become mated, with their pack alpha’s blessing.

“Fuck, San-ah, I think Hongjoong-hyung was getting ready to smack you if you didn’t bite this boy soon,” Yunho chuckled, leaning forward to give Wooyoung Eskimo kisses, and chirping when Mingi took the opportunity to tickle his ribs.

Wooyoung giggled, rubbing his eyes, still red and sore from his intense evening. “I … I don’t wanna tell them until tomorrow, is that okay? They’ve had to deal with me so much this week, I think they need to take care of each other for a minute before we give them something new, you know?”

“We can tell them whenever you want to, lovie,” San squeezed the boy in his lap, his heart humming in peace and an overwhelming love. "Whatever you need, we can do. Promise." 

“I don’t …” Wooyoung rubbed his eyes with his fists adorably, curling into himself with shame. “I don’t wanna be needy, though. It … it feels ugly. I hate it.”

San sheepishly explained, keeping his eyes fixed on the omega, who was close to tears, and tried to keep his voice low and soft, knowing how sensitive the boy was now.

“I like when you’re needy, because … well, because you need me! And ta-da-“ The alpha spread his arms comically and puffed his chest out, his eyes squinting from how hard he was smiling.

“Here I am!”

Yunho pretended to throw up, while Mingi giggled and squealed, folding his hand under his chin and smiling brilliantly, “You guys are so fucking cute, I can’t take it.”

--- 

"You're going to walk back into Yunho-yah's room and apologize for missing his birthday. He was looking forward to seeing you, and for spending time with the entire pack; you know how hard it is for all of us to get the same day off. Make sure he knows that you love him, hmm? Good boy." 

Wooyoung padded through Yunho and Mingi’s room silently, the bile in his throat burning and rising into his sinuses. He blinked at the floor and bowed in the direction of his hyungs. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he was filled with a strange need to sink his fingernails into his chest and rip his lungs out.

Yunho and Mingi were cuddling on the bed and had looked up when the younger omega approached the bedside. If Wooyoung had looked up, he would have seen twin expressions of worry and tender love in their gazes.

“Yunho-hyungie …” Wooyoung whispered, refusing to raise his eyes.

“I’m … I’m so sorry,” he whispered, closing his eyes and covering his cheeks with his hands.

Yunho scrambled to untangle himself from his boyfriend and their blankets, lanky legs swinging up over the edge of the bed, and he hurried over to the younger.

“Baby-"

After spending so many months being deadly quiet, Wooyoung’s tongue finally loosened. He thumped to his knees and bowed his head, whimpering his apology through his tears.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry hyungie, I missed your birthday, and I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again, I’ll be better, please don’t hate me, I’ll make it up to you, we can go do and get whatever you want, I promise I’ll be better, please let me be better, I’m so sorry …”

Yunho reached the boy just in time, for he was beginning to look like he was ready to throw up, his face pale and his eyes sunken. His hands shook in his lap, so Yunho knelt in front of him and grabbed them, pressing them to his chest to keep them safe and warm.

“Hey, darling … you’re okay, breathe with hyungie, ready? In … four, five, and out … oh good job, baby, one more time, in … and out, two, three,” Yunho cupped the omega’s cheek in one hand and felt his own emotions rising in response.

“Oh, Youngie …” he leaned forward to kiss the boy’s forehead before pulling him into his chest, settling into a hold he didn’t often do with the omegas. He was always up for a quick scenting before work, a long hug after coming home, and maybe, maybe if he was in rut, a heavy scene to take him out of his head. But, curled up on the bedroom floor, an omega between his knees with his hands shaking … he couldn’t help it, he let his instincts run a little free. 

He pulled Wooyoung so the boy was straddling his legs, letting him sit down on his lap facing him, and tucked the boy’s face into his neck, rocking back and forth and scenting him. It felt good, it felt like a rainy summer day had been poured all over him, the scent of damp, sweet grass soaking into his clothes and his skin. His alpha twitched inside of him, and he couldn’t help the settled sigh he let out, a hint of a keen behind his lips.

Leaning up to kiss the outer shell of Wooyoung’s ear, he breathed, his breath warm and loving,

“I forgive you, darling. You’ve had a hard few weeks, huh? It’s alright, there is no harm done. I love you so much, and I will never hate you, you hear me?”

Keening, Wooyoung deflated, melting into his hyung’s shoulder and weeping softly, his small hands grasping at the alpha’s shirt, fingers tangling in the fabric like he was afraid Yunho would leave. Yunho hushed him, continuing to rock, and they folded into one another on the floor.

In the bed above them, Mingi watched with a sore heart and wobbling lips, smiling through his slow, careful tears. He kept quiet, content to watch despite the itching in his arms and alpha to hold them both.

---

Seonghwa didn’t come home until after midnight, long after San carried Wooyoung to their room, the luna slipping into the sleepy house noiselessly and padding into his bedroom where his mate was waiting for him, half-asleep on their bed.

As he took off his hoodie and sweatpants, Hongjoong sighed and sat up.

“What did you do, Hwa?” came the heavy voice, masked with hesitation and honest curiosity.

Knowing he was most likely in for a lecture about reckless decisions, Seonghwa stood up, shrugging on a sleep shirt, and sighed.

“I filed a complaint with emergency services,” he whispered, as if he were merely reporting a boring day at work, and began climbing into bed like nothing was wrong.

Knowing better, Hongjoong narrowed his eyes and snatched the older boy’s wrists gently, pulling him to straddle his lap, and looking up challengingly, as if he were looking right through him to his soul.

“And?”

Seonghwa blushed, hanging his head. His arms were handsome in his black tank top, and his long legs folded around Hongjoong’s in his boxers. There was a pulse of quick heat that passed between the two of them, but it was hidden by the confession slipping past the luna’s lips.

“And I … slashed his tires.”

To Seonghwa’s slight surprise, for he thought for sure he had earned a punishment, Hongjoong grinned lazily and leaned in for a kiss.

“Never … never change, Park Seonghwa. Never change.”

Park-nim was arrested the next day for seven counts of workplace discrimination, verbal and emotional abuse of an omega, and violating labor laws.

Wooyoung was given six weeks of paid vacation time to heal, as an apology from the café’s corporation.

Wooyoung was flat out on the bed, in his white hoodie and black sweatpants, scrolling with his phone entirely too close to his face. Scheming, Hongjoong crawled up the mattress, weaving his way between the boy’s arms so he could snuggle into his chest, lying directly on top of him. Wooyoung giggled, his face splitting into an adorable smile, and he pressed a kiss to Hongjoong’s head before going back to his phone.

After a while, Hongjoong got restless, a burning, mischievous energy under his skin, so he wiggled around to get both of his knees on the mattress and spun the two of them, switching their positions. Wooyoung yelped at the change but immediately buried his nose in his hyung’s neck and relaxed, turning his phone off and content to snuggle quietly.

Despite the slight difference in size, this way felt better, Hongjoong curling around Wooyoung with one hand in his hair and one rubbing his back. Wooyoung seemed to be in more need of the comfort, and Hongjoong seemed to be in more need of giving it. Minutes passed, and after a deep breath that moved both of their bodies up and down, the older boy finally felt his inner alpha calm down, settling into the hold and humming with content.

Slowly, wondering if the omega was even still awake, Hongjoong let the hand not buried in Wooyoung’s hair travel down the scope of his back, nestling gently on the boy’s bottom. He thought about squeezing the handful but decided to merely let his heavy hand rest there, grounding.

Wooyoung stirred, wrinkling his nose and pushing his face further into Hongjoong’s neck, whining high-pitched and squeaky.

“Hyung-ie … ‘m still sore …”

While he murmured, the omega tucked both of his knees up towards his chest, curling up into a ball on Hongjoong’s stomach and simultaneously giving the alpha more space to touch.

“I came in here and you were lying on your back, baby.”

Wooyoung sighed. “It’s different, though … when it’s someone touching …”

Hongjoong nodded. Unfortunately, he knew the feeling. Snuggling a bit deeper into the pillows and blankets, the older boy gently tucked his hand into the waistband of Wooyoung’s pants, slipping them down slowly, and sliding them to nestle just under the curve of his boxer-clad bottom. Glancing down, Hongjoong saw a bit of redness poking out from the boy’s underwear, but was relieved to see no bruising of any kind.

Wooyoung hummed, pleased, at the feeling, the warm air of the bedroom floating over his sore skin, and Hongjoong began to rub, ever so gently, over the boy’s bottom, soothing. He cooed under his breath when the omega began to purr, a soft, lovely thrumming from deep in his chest that pulsed through both of them like music.

“I love you, Wooyoungie …” the older boy whispered, feeling something in his chest fall apart and seep into his bloodstream.

Wooyoung raised one hand to rest on his hyung’s chest, his fingers tapping and swirling in the fabric of the man’s shirt, and he whispered back,

“Love you, too, hyungie.”

     back to blue side ... 

Wooyoung was lying in bed, mindlessly scrolling, when Jongho knocked on his bedroom door. The omega had just finished convincing himself to just give up and go to sleep, having been stuck in his work clothes with a growling tummy. But now, he glanced up, worry creasing his brow. Quickly looking at the time on his phone, he softly called out,

“Come in?”

Jongho popped his head through the crack in the door and smiled slowly.

“Jjongie, it’s … it’s after 11, are you alright? Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

Without responding, Jongho walked into the bedroom, ignoring the piles of laundry stacked up on the floor and the overall messiness, and opened his arms. The alpha was dressed in his sleep clothes, which consisted of a set of grey sweatpants, Mingi’s old ones probably, and a black tank top, a rare sight for the youngest pack member.

Startled, Wooyoung jumped up and entered the embrace, letting Jongho wrap his arms around his waist comfortably and sink his head into the omega’s neck. The slow, buzzing scent of fresh-cut peaches filled his nose, and he smiled, settling into the simple goodnight hug.

Jongho didn’t speak, but his scent dipped, and his hands tightened around Wooyoung, a strange desperation filling the bedroom. The omega blinked and whispered,

“You okay?”

There was a long pause, and while the alpha’s scent returned to neutral, Wooyoung thought that he didn’t hear him. However, the small breaths that filled his ear, the heartbeat hammering against his chest, and the small pressed from the younger boy’s hands told him that he was merely thinking about how to answer. Jongho did that often. He wanted to make certain that he used the right words before speaking.

“I … I thought you were going to leave.”

Heart clenching, Wooyoung nudged the alpha so he could lean back and see his face, and was shocked to see the boy in full alpha headspace, eyes glistening and red, and breath controlled yet heated.

“Oh, darling …” Wooyoung whispered, bringing his hands to the boy’s face and smoothing his thumbs over his cheeks. He smiled sadly, nodding, and kissed Jongho’s forehead.

“I know, I did too, and I was wrong, and I’m so sorry,” he started, but was cut off when the younger stomped his foot and rubbed his eyes with his fists, shaking his head.

“No, don’t … don’t be sorry anymore. Just … please, don’t leave?” The boy’s voice was small, and Wooyoung’s heart broke quietly.

“I won’t. I promise. Hyung’s here, now … and you’re stuck with me forever, yeah?”

Nodding, Jongho stood up straighter, his hands falling to find comfort on Wooyoung’s waist, and his heavy, sleepy eyes went back to their usual color. He swallowed hard and smiled, slightly embarrassed.

“I just wanted a ni'-night hug, that’s all … sorry I had to get all weird, I don’t know what happened, there.”

Wooyoung grinned, and he ruffled the boy’s hair. “I love you, too, Jjongie. Goodnight, my love, and sweet dreams.”

     back to blue side ... 

Wooyoung was at the stove, hood up and headphones on, when Mingi walked into the kitchen. The smell of frying meat and onions filled his nose, and he smiled, a horrendously happy feeling bubbling in his stomach. Walking quietly, he crept across the kitchen, arms stretched out to envelop the younger boy.

When he wrapped his arms around Wooyoung’s waist, the boy dropped his spoon and tipped his head back immediately, sinking into the cuddles without a second thought. There was a small chittering, a beat and some muffled notes floating out of his headphones, but Mingi didn’t need to be heard. The alpha squeezed Wooyoung’s ribs lightly, before shoving his nose into the boy’s neck and scenting him.

Wooyoung seemed to freeze, numbing up slightly, and he closed his eyes, letting Mingi have his way. The kitchen was soon swimming in fresh scents of mango and vanilla, overwhelming the meal that Wooyoung had been working on.

Without much thought, Mingi gently turned Wooyoung around, tucking the boy’s face into his chest and hugging him tight, something in his alpha needing to prove something to Wooyoung. Exhaling deeply and feeling his shoulders drop, Mingi continued to lightly scent the younger, smiling when he felt the omega’s hands wrap around his hips and clutch the hem of his sweater, nestling deeper into the embrace.

After a long while, Mingi blinked his eyes open, looking over Wooyoung’s head at the pan on the stove. Wooyoung always was an excellent cook, but he’d stopped doing as much in the kitchen over the winter, for some reason. If he was home, he was either in his room resting or cuddling with another pack member. To see him going back to cooking, something he loved doing so much, made Mingi’s heart swell in his chest.

Reaching over and turning off the burner, the alpha kissed the top of Wooyoung’s hood, squeezing him tight again.

There was a long inhale, and then a soft, “… thank you, hyungie … “

Mingi tried so hard to get through the moment without opening his stupid mouth, but he needed to whisper into the soft, warm fabric of Wooyoung’s hoodie,

“… I’m so happy you’re here with us, Wooyoung-ie …”

He didn’t see the beautiful look of relief, excitement, and pure happiness that flooded Wooyoung’s small face, but he didn’t need to.

     you might say i cannot

     but i'll put you in my arms ... 

“Is it alright if I ask hyung for blessing? Or … did you want to be there, too?”

Wooyoung noticed the vulnerability that made San’s eyes bright with emotion, and he cupped the boy’s cheeks, smiling softly.

“I think that’d be good. Go ahead. I’m sure he’ll say yes.”

Trying so hard not to be awkward or strange, San walked nonchalantly into the kitchen and promptly bumped into the counter, bruising his hip and making him hiss in pain, crouching low and slowly filling with disgust for himself.

Hongjoong bit his lip from his seat at the table, thankful he didn’t decide to take a sip of coffee at that moment, or it would have wound up all over his shirt. He knew his eyes were sparkling in humor and fondness, but there wasn’t much he could do to stop that.

Smiling embarrassedly, San looked up and nodded. “Good morning, hyung.”

Hongjoong nodded. “San-ah, you okay?”

The boy stood up straight, carefully avoiding the corner of the counter, making his way to the other end of the table. “Of course, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

The alpha smiled sweetly, picking up his mug. “You have your ‘I have something to say but I don’t want to seem like I have something to say’ face on …”

San let his jaw drop in horror. “I was trying so hard to-“

“To not look like you have something to say, yes, I know. It’s alright darling, you can tell me whenever.” The head alpha took a sip and stood up, his eyes kind and his smile tender.

San swallowed hard, looking away, and felt his cheeks begin to flush. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and whispered, not trusting his real voice any longer,

“No, it’s … I gotta do it now … hang on …”

Coming around to stand next to the younger boy, Hongjoong nodded understandingly. He had a feeling where this was going, but he needed to let San say it. He would wait, and he would rejoice when he heard it, and he would give his approval a thousand times over. Excitement bubbled in his stomach as he waited silently, offering his quiet support for the boy.

“Uhm,” San stared at the floor for a long moment before needing his hyung’s eyes and picking his head up. His heart hammering inside his chest, he forced his words past his lips.

“Hyung, I really love him, can … may I please have him? Can I make him my mate? He wanted it to be a pack event, and I said I would ask you. Please, may I have your blessing?”

A pleased hum burbled out of Hongjoong before he could stop it, and he all but hopped up and down with happiness. Reaching up to cup the boy’s face, he murmured,

“Of course, dearest. When are we doing this?”

--- 

They decided on a Friday night, since Hongjoong and Seonghwa both had three-day weekend, Yunho could easily call out of work on Saturday, and the others didn’t have weekend schedules anymore. If, worst-case scenario, they needed help during the bite or if the bite didn’t take the first time, then they had time to take, and their pack could be surrounding them.

Soenghwa prepared by making several big meals ahead of time, setting them in the fridge so that all they would need to do would be to warm them up in the oven or on the stovetop. Yunho made sure all of the devices and electronics were charged, everything from Wooyoung’s vibrators to Hongjoong’s earbuds. All their switches were soon lined up in the living room along with their headphones, ready for their pack game night later in the weekend. Yeosang set up the nest speakers in the living room and created a lovely, long playlist filled with soothing songs beloved by the entire pack. Jongho stocked the coffee table with tissue packets, wet wipes, and extra chargers just in case. Mingi made sure all their bedding and blankets were freshly washed and ready for them, as well as a basket of extra blankets and pillows for the living room, which was slowly transforming into a beautiful temporary nest.

Wooyoung’s only job was to set up one of the bookshelves with a hot pot, water, and a basket of tea. He took his time, making the basket beautiful, as well as bringing out some cute mugs, spoons, and sugar cubes, as well as beautiful edible flowers. He sat back, admiring his work, and shivers ran up and down his arms and legs when he realized what exactly he was preparing for.

Group sex … wasn’t … something they participated in. It wasn’t anyone’s hard limits, necessarily, they just … didn’t do it. Scenes with more than two members were a little more than rare, but anything involving everyone was never anything more than cuddling and scenting.

This wasn’t about to be any different, since they didn’t feel the need to introduce new things into their dynamics. However, Wooyoung did mention that he was alright with group aftercare, and that if either of the other two mated pairs wanted to … for lack of a better phrase, do their own thing, while Wooyoung and San were occupied, then that would be alright as well. He did not mention that he might think it extremely hot.

Wooyoung had been on fire since the moment he’d woken up, the thought of being marked and claimed in front of his pack sending shivers throughout his body every minute of the day, keeping him wet and aroused. His scent was driving the others nuts, and he delighted in it, in some small corner of his brain. Something about watching Hongjoong’s, Yunho’s, and even Mingi’s eyes widen and hearing their breathing quicken every time he walked by filled him with happiness, a small piece of him needing to be reminded that he was important.

They sent Mingi to fetch him, and the younger alpha was thrilled at the task, bounding up the stairs three at a time in search of the omega. Soon, giggles and squelas cascaded down into the living room where the others were waiting, with their mugs of tea, and smiling softly, signaling the finding of said omega. 

Embarrassed, Wooyoung tried to wiggle out of Mingi’s arms, but the alpha was too strong, catching him easily, and picking him up onto his shoulders, laying a huge, heavy hand on the boy’s clothed backside. Wooyoung felt the older boy’s body rumble as he murmured, carrying him to the nest,

“None of that, little one …”

"I'm nervous," Wooyoung allowed himself to say, pounding his tiny fists weakly in pretend anger against the alpha's strong back as he was carried into the living room. 

Jongho was the one to sit up straight, his eyes glassy with emotion, and even though his voice was soft, it was strong and handsome. 

"Hyung," he cleared his throat and blinked hard. "It's ... just us. It's alright, you're safe, there's no performance, it's ... it's just us." 

When Mingi set him down carefully on the carpet, the alpha took an extra moment to make sure the boy had his balance, patting him on the head lovingly before going over to sit with his mate, who had prepared him a mug of tea and was smiling tenderly up at him. 

Before going to kneel in the middle of the rug with San, Wooyoung went to hug each of his pack members, scenting them briefly and grounding himself with their touch. He squeezed Yeosang extra hard and pressed an annoying kiss to the corner of Jongho’s left eye, teasing him with the smacking sound. Hongjoong made sure to whisper to the omega that he was loved and treasured, and Wooyoung did not cry, he didn’t.

After he’d embraced his pack, Wooyoung turned around, shivers running up and down his arms, and he laughed nervously.

San took off his sweater and shirt first, his muscles rippling freely as he knelt in his black jeans in the center of the living room, and opened his arms, a shy smile on his face.

“Can … can I have a hug, Young-ah? Before we do this?”

There was a note of pure fear in San’s voice that reminded Wooyoung of how much the alpha was just as scared of change as he was, and the omega flung himself around him, squeezing hard and soothing both of their nerves. Their combined scents filled the living room, and suddenly, it was only San and Wooyoung. Time froze, and the omega sighed, leaning over to press a kiss to San’s trembling lips, swallowing his whimper. Behind them, Yeosang pressed play on the playlist, and the living room nest was slowly filled with soft sounds, careful lullabies beginning to float around them, covering them like a warm blanket.

Thirty minutes later, his sweaty skin was covered in goose flesh, and it didn’t help when San leaned up to whisper in his ear, breathily yet commanding,

“Look up, baby. Look at how they watch you. Look at how they love to watch you …”

San had bodily moved the omega, spinning him around so his back was to the older boy’s chest and he was facing the pack, and began to take the boy’s shirt off, pulling it up over his head. Kissing Wooyoung’s neck, his stomach leaping at the high-pitched sighs that were rippling over him, San reached down and unbuttoned the boy’s jeans. The omega covered his eyes with his hands, hiding cutely when the alpha snuck his hands into his underwear, fingers playing teasingly with the curly, soft pubic hair that he found there.

A few minutes went by, filled with soft sounds and careful touches, and Wooyoung’s shoulders were shaking with sensitivity. San slowly leaned them back, sitting the omega on his knees and sliding his pants and underwear off, leaving him naked and perfect for his pack to watch.

The moment Wooyoung cracked his eyes open where he knelt, the alpha slid inside his cunt from behind, splitting him open, and he gasped loudly, hands clutching weakly at the strong thighs that held his legs apart. He had no idea when the alpha had undressed; his hands had been on Wooyoung's body constantly, bringing wonderful sounds from his lips and keeping him wet and tight for him. San’s arms around his middle tightened deliciously, and the older boy began thrusting in and pulling out rhythmically, drawing sweet moans from the omega spread before their pack.

The younger boy forced his gaze up obediently, dragging his eyes from one face to the other, looking at each member of his pack, heart breaking steadily at each one. Tears threatened the back of his throat, and he squeezed his boyfriend's hands, hard, his pussy dripping relentlessly onto the carpet beneath them. 

Jongho was nearly sitting in Yeosang’s lap, holding both his hands to his chest and vibrating with emotions, eyes glued to San’s movements. Yeosang was drilling his eyes into Wooyoung, a tear resting just underneath his left eye. There was a beautiful, aching love hidden deep in the beta's eyes, one that pulled dangerously at Wooyoung's heart, and he managed to whine low in his chest when Yeosang nodded slowly, his scent dipping in silent acknowledgment. Jongho was watching the omega and San with adoration and likely a mixture of alphan emotions he hadn't experienced before, at least not to this extent. Maybe Hongjoong would spend some time with him, explaining some of the things coming into play in his small, young body. 

Mingi was sitting behind Yunho, lovingly resting his chin on the alpha’s shoulder, hands wrapped around his stomach, the two of them curled into one another. Yunho grabbed Wooyoung's attention first, with a look of pride on his soft face. The alpha nodded in approval and smiled kindly, his eyes glistening in kindness. Mingi's eyes were wide as he watched, beautiful curiosity stamped on his expressive face, and he all but grinned at Wooyoung. 

San's thrusts then began to quicken, and Wooyoung gasped loudly, his eyes closing briefly, before he snapped them open, automatically finding his luna's gaze and clinging frantically. Something in Seonghwa's face settled his fears momentarily, and he was able to smile jerkily, a piece of his heart soaring at the smile he got in return. His hands gripped San's thighs, and his knees began to wobble from the burning arousal flooding his sensitive cunt. 

And both Hongjoong and Seonghwa were watching Wooyoung with barely controlled, burning emotions. 

The omega hadn’t thought he would be thinking anything specific during his mating bite, or whether or not he would be feeling anything in particular, or … anything. He leapt into it like he did with everything, arms wide open, hair streaming behind him, a slightly wicked smile on his lips, and a hammering heart secretly terrified of being left behind. Sex with San was always safe, warm, comfortingly dirty, and everything Wooyoung needed to keep breathing.

This … this wasn’t sex, though. This was different. This was Wooyoung learning to be messy, scared, and ugly in front of his pack, without having to beg and grovel for acceptance.

As San’s gentle lips, teeth, and tongue closed in on Wooyoung’s scent gland, sinking ever so slowly into the beautiful, unmarked, ready flesh … the omega couldn’t drag his eyes from his pack alpha’s gaze.

Hongjoong leaned forward slowly, supporting his elbows on his knees, and returned the gaze wide-eyed and sure, nodding his head once, authoritatively. His heart shone through his beautiful eyes, and he might have been crying, Wooyoung couldn’t tell. All he could focus on was the burning, overwhelming, and heart-wrenching feeling that flooded his sensitive body; the feeling of being needed, wanted, family, pack, loved …

San came up for air, his lips dripping in a tiny bit of blood and saliva, his voice soft and beautiful, “… mine, baby … let me make you mine, please …”

The alpha’s knot began to swell, and Wooyoung’s eyes rolled back in his head, his hands beginning to shake and lose their grip on San’s thighs.

San panted heavily as he thrust impossibly deeper into Wooyoung’s pussy, the slick making obscene noises underneath them, and he nibbled gently at the omega’s smooth shoulders, moaning into the smooth skin that surrounded his sensitive scent gland.

Whimpering, Wooyoung choked out a sob, “J- … Joongie …” He didn’t care that he was being disrespectful, he just needed someone, no, his alpha, to tell him he was going to be okay … 

Hongjoong’s eye lit on fire, but his voice was low and steady when he immediately nodded, murmuring low and confidently, “You’re okay, baby … you’re safe. The stars are right where they should be. Open wide, take a big breath, yeah? There we go …”

The deep inhale that Wooyoung took rattled his brain and relaxed his muscles, sending bolts of pleasure up and down his spine, and he wailed upon exhaling. His cunt quivered around the girth of San’s knot, and his thighs began violently shaking with the effort it took to hold himself upright.

When he whined through his teeth at the exertion, San reached up to wipe his hair out of his sweaty forehead, whispering,

“It’s okay, baby, I can hold you … I can hold you up …”

"... I can be yours, now, baby ..." 

Everything went black after that, a soothing ... warm ... peaceful black. 

     back to blue side ... 

Six Weeks Later ...

“Wooyoung-ah … your, uh, your parents are here.”

Yeonjun smirked at Wooyoung, who was putting toppings on his fifth tray (out of forty-eight trays …) of bagels, and gestured to the end of the dining room.

The younger boy poked his head around the corner, confused, before laying eyes on Hongjoong and Soenghwa, who made it a point to have at least one date at Wooyoung’s café a month, for no other reason than to sit and be proud of their pack mate. They looked like a couple out of a children’s cartoon, Seonghwa towering over his mate with a black woolen coat and a long red scarf, and Hongjong with his bright green jacket and his orange hair. They smiled at him from their spot, the pack alpha waving a little, and Wooyoung lovingly rolled his eyes.

“I’ll finish this tray or two and head over. Thanks, Junnie.”

Dipping the bagels, four in each hand, into the tubs of toppings, Wooyoung hurried through three trays, one of chocolate chips, one of sesame seeds, and one of cinnamon-sugar raisins. He then carried them to the proofer where they could rise while he was in the dining room. Dusting his hands on his apron, he then walked around the corner to the barista station, where he quickly started the espresso machine. Once he’d made himself a small latte for his break, he then wandered out into the dining room, searching the tables and booths for a certain couple; for his ‘parents,’ he recalled with a smirk.

“Hi, baby …” Seonghwa hummed as Wooyoung approached, a slow smile on his smooth face, and Hongjoong looked up from his muffin to smile as well, eyes sparkling.

“You guys don’t have to check on me so often anymore, you know?” the omega sighed, feigning annoyance, as he slid into the other side of the booth, nursing his latte and tipping his head back to relax a little. His hair was especially fluffy today, from having been back in the bakery, where it was slightly more humid than the other areas of the café. Apron stained with raisin sauce and splattered with small spurts of flour throughout the day … he looked nothing short of adorable.

Hongjoong cocked his head. “Yeah, well. We’re old. And worried.” He took a long sip of his tea and fluttered his eyelashes annoyingly.

Giggling, Wooyoung put his feet up on the booth next to him and took a long sip of his coffee. Something gentle was settling in his chest, and he took a long, clear breath, happy to sit and spend time with his hyungs.

Soft, instrumental music wafted above them, and he stared up at the wooden beams on the ceiling, something burning in the back of his throat. Before he could think too hard, the smell of his hyungs’ combined peaceful scents filled his nose, and he closed his eyes, settled.

“Come, uh … come for a walk with me?” San asked, awkwardly, while they were all lounging the living room, not looking conspicuous at all. He swung his folded hands in front of him as he swayed on his feet, looking expectantly at Wooyoung and smiling like a kindergartener.

Wooyoung looked up from his phone and considered. It was nice outside, and he did have sneakers on already … they really could just walk out the door. He shrugged, pocketing his phone, not giving too much attention to the alpha oozing embarrassment and anticipation.

“Sure.”

When the door shut behind them, Seonghwa looked outraged over at Hongjoong, a delighted sparkle in his eyes.

“Did you know about this?”

Honjoong spread his hands helplessly. “About what?!?”

Yunho didn’t look up from his phone. “Hyung. He’s gonna ask him”

The living room erupted into ecstatic chaos, but Hongjoong shared a very, very special look with his mate, who was hiding tears and barely stifling his cries of joy.

--- 

Down the street, Wooyoung grabbed San’s hand and began swinging it playfully between them. He had his hood up over his head, providing the utmost comfort, and he found himself actually enjoying the stroll. It was peaceful in their neighborhood, just after dusk, and he couldn’t help the soft smile pulling at his lips.

“You’re being strange …” he sang, high-pitched and annoying, feeling San’s sweaty hand squeezing his.

San tipped his head back, smiling wide, and revealing his adorable blush. He pulled Wooyoung under his arm just as they approached the park, the evening light making it look magical. There were post lights peppering the sidewalk, casting little bubbles of golden light into the night, and every twenty feet or so was a lovely wooden bench.

“I know, I’m sorry …”

“What’s going on, love?” Woyoung lilted, still swinging their hands and grinning softly.

San looked down and sighed, a strange sound that Wooyoung didn’t quite know how to interpret. The older boy bit his lip and looked back out into the park, his soft voice like gentle bells ringing in the omega’s ears.

“I … well, I was gonna ask you something.”

Shaking his head fondly, Wooyoung found himself desperate to soothe whatever was giving his mate anxiety. “Whatever it is, yes. No worries. We can do it.”

There was a crackling, emotional sound bubbling in the back of San’s throat at that, and he stopped, covering his face with his other hand.

Wooyoung tensed. Did he fuck it up? Oh, fuck, did he fuck it up?

“You can’t … don’t say that, Young-ah, cuz … cuz that’s all I ever want. Don’t give me that unless you’re serious.”

Wooyoung’s stomach dropped, and he held his breath. Panic filled him quickly, and he felt his eyes filling with tears. “Wh-what? San-ah?”

San grabbed Wooyoung’s shoulder and began leading him to one of the benches, out of the lamplight, and sat him down. Feeling like a scolded child, Wooyoung held his arms in front of his chest for protection, watching San with wide eyes.

“Um,” San sniffled, and his hands fidgeted with the edge of his coat. “Wooyoung-ah …”

“San-ah.” Wooyoung’s voice hurt his throat, and he itched to leap forward to wrap the boy in his arms, to go home and forget anything bad ever happened.

“I tried to plan this whole speech thing, but you already know everything about me, probably better than I do, so … um,” San reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a red box.

“Fuck you,” Wooyougn cried out, covering his face in his hands and sobbing.

“Oh my god, only you would swear at me when I’m trying to ask you to marry me,” San cackled, tipping his head back and smiling brilliantly, even around his anxious eyes and nervous heartbeat.

“San-ah,” the omega sobbed, falling forward to kneel in front of San, his face still hidden in his hands.

San took the boy’s shoulders and shook him, still smiling widely. He sniffled, tears burning in his eyes. “Come on, baby, let me ask you? Please? Look at me?”

“I’m gonna cry,” Wooyoung sobbed.

“You are crying, not shut up, let me get this out, or I will explode and die.”

Obediently, Wooyoung uncovered just his eyes, blinking wetly up at his mate, who was staring at him with wide, happy eyes. He didn’t waste a second before shakily opening the box and whispering,

“Jung Wooyoung-ah, please … please, marry me?”

Finally able to move, Wooyoung wrapped his arms and legs around San, sobbing into his shoulder. “Oh, you idiot … of course I’ll marry you.”

--- 

San carried Wooyoung home just like that, the short mile and a half to their house, and stumbled through the door, barely hearing the low commotion bubbling from the other pack members in their rooms. Setting the boy on his feet in the entryway, he alpha cupped his face and smiled, his eyes disappearing into his cheeks.

“Kiss me?”

Wooyoung feigned annoyance. “You are just so full of requests tonight, huh?”

Giggling, San leaned in quickly to pepper the omega’s neck and cheeks with kisses, the stubble on his chin tickling the boy and making him cackle loudly, his eyes sparkling.

Wooyoung gently kissed him, letting their lips mold together slowly, tiredly, and when San was ready, opening his mouth to let the boy lick into him, never able to become sick of the taste.

It was Seonghwa’s birthday dinner, and Wooyoung was pretending not to fall apart. There were balloons everywhere, pastel-colored tablecloths, plates, and decorations, all over the place. Yunho had made dinner, putting together some of their Luna’s favorite dishes, and the others had helped to put the table together, putting on a very peaceful and beautiful meal.

Hongjoong had maybe asked him a hundred times since he’d gotten home if he was okay, and he had to scent the man to assure him that everything was fine, he was just a little more emotional than normal that night. And no, he didn’t know why. No, he wasn’t lying.

No, he wasn’t lying.

And now, Seonghwa had gotten home, seen the spread, and burst into smiles, hugging every pack member tightly, kissing them each on too many surfaces, and then they’d all gotten ready to eat together.

“Wooyoungie,” Yeosang whispered, leaning to the left to place his hand on the boy’s knee, which was violently bouncing up and down.

When the omega looked up with wide eyes and full cheeks, the older boy was watching him with concern all over his face. A wordless you okay? The others were talking loudly, and no one was looking their way, so … the anxiety in Wooyoung’s stomach bubbled, overflowing silently.

Swallowing hard, he shook his head, holding up one finger. Almost.

After there was a lull in the conversation, Wooyoung opened his mouth to say it, but was gripped by a freezing cold hand of fear, and instead he pulled out his phone.

Pack chat <3

8:34 pm

Me

Can we all sleep together in the nest tonight?

He blushed in embarrassment when he heard a few of his hyungs’ phones buzzing or dinging softly under the table and refused to look up from his plate when they all confusedly began to squirm, pulling out the devices.

Thankfully, Yeosang was the one to start the conversation again, asking Jongho how his day was at school, and slowly, the table filled once more with quiet murmuring.

Wooyoung stared at his lap, watching the responses come in on his phone.

8:35 pm 

Hongjoongie-hyung

Yes of course

8:35 pm 

Mingaroni <3

Sure thing

You okay, Youngie?

8:35 pm 

Yunho hyung

Was planning on it already

You look like you need some extra care, bb

8:35 pm 

Luna hyung

Of course my love

I’ll get it ready after dinner

8:36 pm 

Jongho bb bear 

Yay hyung cuddle pile

He didn’t wait to see is San or Yeosang answered, for his eyes filled with tears and he couldn’t focus on the words on the screen. Blinking furiously, he leaned into Yeosang and sighed, closing his eyes, melting into the white noise of dinner table chatter.

--- 

Thirty minutes later, he was standing in the doorway to the nest, watching with slightly heavy eyes as his hyung set up, putting pillows and blankets in all the spots, turning on the twinkle lights, lighting candles, and setting up diffusers. Soon it was a rainforest of comfort, and all Wooyoung wanted was to fall asleep cuddling his pack. It made him emotional, excited, and like a missing piece of his body had finally been attached, thudding home with a silent bolt of lightning.

Seonghwa finally finished, standing up and facing the younger, and he smiled, putting his hands on his hips.

“Okay, lovie. We’re ready.”

San arrived just in time, and the omega grabbed his hand so fast, he didn’t even have a chance. Stripping his shirt and jeans, leaving his boxers, and all but jumping headlong onto the massive mattress lining the nest. He pulled San in after him, wrapping his arms and legs around the older boy, and sighed shakily. Almost there.

He could feel through the mattress when Yunho and Mingi laid down behind him, stretching out their long limbs before scenting each other lovingly. Almost there.

Yeosang all but carried Jongho down the hall and into the big room, shedding his sweater and helping the youngest out of his day clothes. They both took their usual spot, nearest the wall, and quietly began cuddling, melting softly into one another. Wooyoung smiled when he was smothered by a small wave of thrill from his only dongsaeng. Almost there.

And lastly, Hongjoong and Seonghwa locked up the house, turned off all the big lights, and left the nest door cracked behind them before getting ready to pile onto the mattress with everyone. Soenghwa always took a moment to look at all his babies, and how they fit together in his nest, usually with glassy eyes and a hand squeezing his mate’s. And it was always Hongjoong who kissed him on the cheek and pulled him out of his daze, grabbing him by the hips and taking him to the nest for a thorough scenting. Almost … there …

The leader put on a playlist of lullabies on the speakers, and Wooyoung felt his heart rate slowing, matching San’s, and he closed his eyes, tucking his face into the boy’s neck.

“Alright, my loves … everyone have what they need? Water? Toothpaste? Whatever?”

Jongho heaved a massive sigh before grumbling, his cheeks beet red. “I might need a condom in a few hours, but not positive yet.”

Wooyoung burst into giggles and twisted around just in time to see Yeosang’s smug look of hyung-like satisfaction blooming all over his face before he buried into his pillow shyly. There was a smattering of snickers and teasing before everyone quieted down once more.

“Well, you know where those are. Love you all. Sweet dreams.”

Seonghwa turned off the last big light, leaving the strings of twinkle lights high above them giving a starlit sky-like appearance to the nest, which in turn, made Wooyoung’s heart clench with tenderness and emotion.

San breathed into his ear, “Wooyoungie … my love … are you alright? You were worrying me during dinner.”

The omega looked up to see the older boy watching him with open, honest eyes, and he smiled sadly. “I know, I’m sorry. Yes, I’m okay now, I think I just needed this. Everyone … here, together. Thank you.”

He leaned up to kiss his mate, watching the boy’s cheeks color gently at the intimacy, and snuggled further into the embrace, the scents of his hyungs now floating all throughout the nest and covering his body like a blanket.

An hour later, Hongjoong was wrapping his arms around Wooyoung’s shoulders, hugging him back against his chest, and whispering,

“Love, your scent … breathe with hyung …”

Through his half-asleep panic, Wooyoung reigned in his scent and inhaled deeply with Hongjoong, feeling his body relax again and settle into the scenting.

“What’s the matter?”

Mingi’s voice echoed in Wooyoung’s head, and he was just brave enough to murmur across the nest, his tiny voice scratchy and wobbly from emotions swirling around his head.

“And … and i-if the stars f-fall down?”

Hongjoong was the first to murmur in response,

“I will hold your hand.”

Sighing, Wooyougn nuzzled into San’s chest, tucking his legs higher into the hold as well, wanting to feel entirely surrounded, like a cocoon.

San’s voice hummed, vibrating through the omega’s body, “And I will hold your hand.”

Blinking, Wooyoung looked up, slightly startled. San was watching him with kind eyes and kissed his forehead.

“I will hold your hand,” came Jongho’s small voice, and Wooyoung felt the first thrum of his omega deep in his chest, coming up out of him in a small chirp. He only resisted holding his breath because his hyung was attached to his back, inhaling and exhaling deeply with him.

Mingi’s deep voice melted into the mattress, wrapping around Wooyoung like a blanket.

“I’ll hold your hand.”

Wooyoung let the tears seep into San’s sleep shirt, and he let Hongjoong absorb how his body was shaking silently.

“I’ll hold your hand,” Soenghwa hummed, sliding closer so he could sink his fingers into the boy’s hair, scratching at his scalp and soothing his tears slightly.

Yeosang was the next to whisper, much closer now, almost close enough to kiss, and he placed a hand on Wooyoung’s stomach, rubbing his thumb up and down, sending warm waves into the omega’s body.

“I’ll hold your hand, darling.”

Yunho crawled over next, Mingi attached to his back, and they both snuggled closer, holding Wooyoung’s legs and thighs close.

The older alpha pressed a quick kiss into the omega’s hip, murmuring in his sultry, deep voice,

“I’ll hold your hand.”

     the end.