Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Alicante Oriental sits in the middle of New York. Magnus always claimed the prestigious asshole who built such a monstrosity in this spot only did it to mock everyone else. It was one of the most luxurious apartment complexes in the state with various amenities that included on-site restaurants and retail stories, extensive wellness facilities, smart home technology, and impeccable concierge staff. All of which Magnus is known to have in his own home, but this building and what it stood for was ridiculous.

The residents all looked the same with their fancy suits and cocktail dresses. It was late evening, and they were headed off to their incredibly dull and high-end parties. Magnus has attended too many to be impressed, especially when everyone wore the same dreadful lifeless clothes. How these people with all their wealth could choose such bland clothes is beyond Magnus’s imagination.

A woman with a bob haircut walks by him and gives him an appreciative look with an attempting smile and raised brow. Magnus rolls his eyes and fixes his cuffs, uncaring for the hurt blossoming on her features.

His phone rings and he answers with a dull, "What floor was it again?”

Catarina replies right away. “Sky villa.”

Magnus pushes his glasses up his nose and narrows his eyes. The very top floor. Great. He can’t mask his disappointment. “And the money was wired over?”

“When have I ever sent you to a client’s home without making sure the bill was paid in full?” The sound of typing floods his ears. “You get half upfront. The rest after.”

Magnus crosses the street and heads right into the main lobby. The stunning chandelier is a degree too bright, and his shoes echo on the marble floor. One of the men working security sees him and prepares to walk over, but his arm is caught by another man. He says something, and the younger man flushes and sits down.

Magnus can’t help the grin and winks at him. This is not the first time he’s come here for a client.

He gets into the elevator and half-listens to Catarina go over the file and expectations. The list is awfully short and sweet. He’ll have to be a bit creative this evening. “What’s his name? It is a man, yes?”

“His name is Alec,” Catarina answers. “He’s in his mid-twenties and soft-spoken.”

Nervous. A first-timer - written in bold letters on his profile. That’s why Magnus was here. Magnus is the best with first-timers dipping their toes in the pool of sex work.

Catarina sent Alec’s file and the questionnaire to him to read. It was surprisingly blank and gave Magnus little idea of what’s expected of him. It doesn’t seem Alec knows what he wants. Or if he does, then he’s being tight-lipped about it. Magnus hates to admit he’s intrigued.

“He’s very polite too,” Catarina adds.

Magnus steps out of the elevator and leans on a wall. The door to Alec's apartment is the only one, which means he takes up the whole floor. “Well if he’s polite, then he must be normal and nothing to worry about.”

“Don’t act like today is your first day, Magnus,” Catarina says, amused. “You’re perfectly good at taking care of yourself. Be nice to this one. I meant it when I said he’s nervous.”

“Why would I be suspicious?” Magnus asks sarcastically. “He didn’t answer half of the questions. I thought that was against protocol.”

“Protocol also states you and the client talk before anything happens,” Catarina says. “If he feels better talking to you in person, we have to respect that, just like he has to respect your decision should it be to leave.”

Magnus makes a face.

Catarina adds, “He’s also paying a lot of money.”

Magnus pinches the bridge of his nose. “Alright. I’m going to go in now. I’ll call you if I need you. Thank you.”

He hears the smile in her voice. “Have a lovely time.”

Magnus stuffs his phone in his back pocket. He adjusts his sleeves and belt, and then he knocks on the front door.

No one opens the door for several minutes. Magnus doesn’t hear anything inside. Magnus sighs, as it becomes clear this client has either forgotten their appointment or backed out at the last second. Magnus hopes this Alec realizes he’s going to be charged a substantial canceling fee.

Magnus pulls out his phone to call Catarina, but then slides it back in when the door opens.

A beautiful man greets him. Black hair and hazel eyes. Magnus’s favorite combination.

Magnus doesn’t stand for tardiness or being stood up by rich clients. He’ll make an exception.

“I’m sorry for the wait,” Alec hurries out. His voice is deep, and his lateness leaves Magnus’s mind. “I-I was, uh, in the bathroom.”

Alec grimaces. Ah. Right. First timer. A beautiful one.

“I’ll let it slide, pretty boy,” Magnus purrs. Alec’s cheeks turn a radiant pink. “May I come in?”

“Of course,” Alec replies. He widens the door to let him in.

Magnus walks inside, and he notes the very organized and freshly clean hallway that leads to the living room. There are pictures hung on the wall of Alec with the same four people. A girl with long black hair with similar facial features and who was probably his sister. She was in most of them. A blonde boy with a wide smile and dimples. Then a girl with bright red hair and another boy with dark eyes and brown hair. Some of them look old based on the background and how much younger Alec appeared.

The furniture and decorations look straight out of a magazine. Alec must have hired an interior designer or maybe someone close to him did. A rather large TV took up much of the east wall, and the leather couch had an assortment of pillows and blankets. Then on the desk, there are piles of books and a laptop.

The kitchen is very modern and has brand new appliances. Everything looks clean and put away. The door on the right leads out to a pool. It’s a very expensive apartment, though not very homey or lived in.

“You have a beautiful home,” Magnus says.

Alec goes to the kitchen and pours a glass of water. “Thanks. Would you like a drink?”

“That’s very kind of you. Yes,” Magnus accepts. He tells himself he’s not trying to make the other man blush again. “Do you live by yourself?”

“Yeah, just me,” Alec confirms. He slides Magnus the glass and leans on the counter. His gaze is glued to his water. He gestures to the couch. “You can take a seat.”

“I’m good standing,” Magnus replies kindly. He sips at his water, and he studies the man in front of him.

He was exceptionally tall with broad shoulders. Most of his frame is hidden underneath an old blue sweater, which Magnus finds odd. He can’t recall anyone wearing such a thing before. He also has on gray sweats. While Magnus loves a man in sweatpants, clients regularly do not wear them. He can’t deny Alec looks overwhelmingly cute in these clothes.

“No pets?” Magnus asks.

The question takes Alec offguard. “What?”

Magnus smiles and shakes his head. “My home looks similar to yours. I would go stir crazy if I lived all alone. I leave out bowls of milk for the neighborhood cats to come see me. They’re not very good at conversation.”

Alec gives him an adorable frown. “Cats should avoid drinking milk. It’s not good for them.”

“Oh? Are you a vet?” Magnus counters.

“No, I read it somewhere.”

“Well, as long as you read it somewhere. It must be true,” Magnus teases. Alec pales, and Magnus winks at him to show he’s messing with him.

“I didn’t mean anything by it…” Alec says weakly.

“I’m only teasing, darling,” Magnus reassures him. “Do you like to be teased?”

Alec lets out a small laugh, and he loses some of that rigidness he had at first. Magnus notices he struggles with eye contact, which is unfortunate. His eyes remind him of sunlight shining through the woods.

“What’s your name?” Alec asks.

“You can call me Bane.”

“Bane? Like from Batman?”

“Exactly from Batman.” Magnus chuckles and lowers his voice dramatically. “I can do the voice he has in the movie.”

Alec laughs harder at that, and he’s much calmer. For the first time, he meets Magnus’s eye. “My name is Alec.”

“Alexander,” Magnus croons. “I like that name.”

Alec blushes, and he doesn’t look ready to run off this time. Progress was slowly being made.

“I hope I’m not making you too uncomfortable. You didn’t give the Downworld Corporation much of your information,” Magnus says. “If it’s something you’re struggling with figuring out, I am more than happy to explore with you.”

Alec drinks the rest of his water like a shot. He goes back to avoiding Magnus’s gaze. “I know what I want.”

“What is that?” Magnus asks, intrigued.

Alec taps his finger on the counter. “You to touch me.”

Magnus doesn’t move from where he stands. “I would love to touch you.”

Alec winces and shakes his head. “I mean in my bed with clothes on. I want to hold you.”

Magnus mentally adjusts to the unexpected change in his plans. It was the whole point of his job, but he can’t deny he’s slightly disappointed. Alec’s outfit was starting to make sense.

He’s had clients just like Alec whose only request was to cuddle or be held. He’s been asked to do weirder things. This was hardly a hardship.

“I would be happy to do that, darling,” Magnus says easily. “I do want to point out there are professional cuddlers. Their rates will be lower than mine.”

Alec gives him a long look. Magnus can’t tell if it’s exasperation or sudden tiredness. “Money isn’t exactly an issue.”

Right. Magnus nods. “You did put on your profile that you were willing to send in test results for STIs. You sent yours in yesterday. Forgive me if I’m a little confused.”

Alec looks down again, and it was from this angle and new information that made Magnus catch the bags under his eyes. From the sweats and sweatshirt to the exhaustion drawn on Alec’s beautiful face, Magnus is starting to connect the dots.

From the growing agitation and the way Alec was picking at his nails, Magnus realizes open-ended questions are not the best way to go about this. “Alec, do you want to have sex?”

Alec shakes his head.

Magnus smiles reassuringly at him. “That’s all I need to know. Is cuddling all you want to do tonight?”

Alec nods, needy and desperate. Magnus reaches across the counter and sets his hand on Alec’s to stop him from picking so hard at his nails. He’s more than grateful all the appropriate forms were signed. It makes it easier sex wasn’t in the picture here. Nonverbal answers are an absolute no, especially with new clients. It’s frowned upon and can be dangerous.

However, Magnus has been doing this for a long time. All Alec wants is cuddles, and he’s clearly exhausted and ready to drop. He wouldn’t feel right to leave Alec like this, and it’s not as if Alec was asking for something he’s never given before.

Magnus runs his finger along Alec’s palm. “Show me where you want me to hold you, darling.”

Alec doesn’t contradict him. He shakily nods and leads them down another hallway and to the third door on the left. It was a huge bedroom with a stunning view of New York. He has multiple shelves, another desk, and a large king bed. Another door leads to the bathroom, and the entire left wall is the closet.

“Are you a big spoon or a little spoon?” Magnus asks neutrally.

“Big,” Alec answers, voice frail and almost laughably quick.

Magnus has half a mind to tell him he doesn’t need to lie. He decides against it and nods instead. He removes his blazer, careful to keep it from getting wrinkles. Alec holds a hand out, and Magnus hands him it to hang in the closet. Alec doesn’t go right away. He continues standing there quietly, avoiding eye contact. Reading what little is said between the lines, Magnus removes his belt, pants, shirt and shoes. Alec takes his things and places them delicately in the closet. For a moment, Magnus watches him fold his pants on a hanger, and he uses the same careful attentiveness with his shirt and blazer.

To Magnus’s surprise, Alec doesn’t take off his shirt. He keeps his thin sweater and sweatpants on, and he was barefoot when Magnus got here. Magnus would ask if he shouldn’t have gotten this undressed, but Alec would’ve mentioned something. Alec didn’t say a single word during the whole dressing ordeal.

Alec doesn’t say anything now. There’s a small, hesitant smile and a nod to the bed. Magnus gets on the bed, and he lays down right in the middle. The sheets are silk and a light brown, and the many pillows are cool under his head. The mattress forms around him, and it is the most comfortable bed he’s ever been on.

Alec doesn’t join him right away, but he doesn’t take long enough to cause Magnus to look back at him. The bed dips under his weight, and he pauses a foot away from Magnus’s form. He hears a shuffle of the pillows, farther than Magnus expected.

Half-charmed by the boy’s shyness, Magnus pats the space behind him. “How am I supposed to stay warm if you’re over there?”

Another pause, but it’s short-lived. Alec scoots closer. Magnus hears the cogs working in his head trying to figure out the best way to hold him. This time, Magnus doesn’t say anything, allowing Alec to come to him.

Alec curves his body along his, bringing their feet together first, testing the waters. Magnus intertwines their feet. Encouraged, Alec presses his front to Magnus’s back and puts his hand on his side. Heat was coming off him in waves. Magnus heard his breath hitch, and he could sense the other man’s heart beating rapidly. The hand on his side fidgeted, as if trying to figure out how much closer he can get without Magnus pushing him away.

Magnus takes his hand in his and brings his arm around him. Alec curls his shoulder in and plants his chin on top of Magnus’s head. Alec’s other arm squeezes underneath Magnus and the pillows.

This was nice. This was very nice. Alec’s body is warm and firm, which can only mean he has plenty of muscles. His cologne or body soap smells like pine. He has his entire body pressed against Magnus. His hands are relaxed, though slightly awkward by Magnus’s chest.

Alec doesn’t say anything, falling deeper into the bed along with all the tension. He moves his head down, and his nose touches the back of Magnus’s neck. Magnus shivers.

Magnus was more comfortable than he ever thought possible. His eyelids grow heavy, and Alec’s soft snores lure him to sleep.

Chapter Text

“You fell asleep?”

Magnus trips over himself tying his shoelaces on the elevator. The door opens to another floor, and a couple walks in. They give him a second glance, noticing his unbuttoned shirt and unlaced shoes. Magnus shoots them a smirk and leans on the wall with a hand on his hip. The stance of a hooker to leave them scandalized.

He gets off on the first floor. He doesn’t bother to finish lacing his shoes. “You would too if your bed was made of clouds and a handsome man.”

Catarina laughs. “I can’t say I’ve ever known you for falling asleep at a client’s home. Was he as nervous as I said he’d be?”

“More nervous,” Magnus confirms. There are no taxis out here, and he has to order a car. “I made him comfortable. I got a pretty laugh out of him.”

“You charmer.”

Magnus summarizes his night as he waits for his car. It was around midnight, but it was New York. He doesn’t have to wait long. While Catarina expected his night to be relatively vanilla, she was taken back by Alec’s requests for a simple night of cuddling. “Did you suggest he reach out to a professional?”

“I did,” Magnus confirms. The driver meets him, and he gets in the car. “I told him it’d be cheaper. I don’t know if he was offended, but he turned it down immediately.”

“You think he’ll eventually want sex?”

“I am not sure,” Magnus murmurs. He pictures Alec standing in his kitchen and how he shook when Magnus asked him if he wanted to be held. “He was wearing sweats, Cat. He was exhausted and barely stayed standing. It was peculiar.”

“It’s been a long time since you called a client peculiar without sounding disgusted or exasperated,” Cat points out with a small laugh.

“Yes, because the last peculiar person I assisted was a man who was inclined to love on my feet. The other before that couldn’t get off without me degrading her.”

The driver looks at him in alarm, and Magnus gives him a flat, annoyed look. The driver turns away instantly.

“Alec is a little bird,” Magnus continues. “He would’ve ran if I sneezed. I doubt he’ll be wanting me to spit on him or pull on his hair so harsh he bleeds.”

Catarina laughs, and he hears her lean back into her chair. “You saw his bill. I’m sure you’d make it work if he does request such things.”

Magnus saw the embedded fatigue on the man’s whole being, and how his hands shook at the prospect of touching Magnus. Then he wouldn’t get closer until Magnus told him he could. This man was dealing with something mentally, some sort of internalized fear of having physical intimacy with another human being. He was starving for touch and affection, and it wasn’t sexual. Magnus didn’t get that impression, and he was good at reading people. It’s why Catarina sends new people to him.

After meeting Alec and seeing the hesitancy rooted in, Magnus couldn’t see himself hurting Alec in any way - verbally or physically. He’s set boundaries before. He’s not a machine and contrary to most people’s beliefs, he does have limits.

But then he thinks about the possibility of Alec having to find someone else, and that thought irks him. He shouldn’t think like this. He doesn’t own Alec, and Alec could choose to go with someone else.

Magnus forces his thoughts to halt. He can’t be like this. Alec is a client - someone he legally has no right to nor can he control. Alec holds all the cards, and Magnus needs to treat him like everyone else.

“Would you accept this client again should he request for you?” Catarina asks, returning to business. Magnus groans. She pauses and sounds disappointed. “He was that bad?”

Magnus should say yes. If he’s already worrying about some random client, then this is clearly getting too personal. He has many clients, and he doesn’t think of any of them after his shift is over.

However, Alec was beautiful, and his bed was cozy, especially with his warm body pressed against his. He could bet money Alec wanted to be held and not the other way around. He is an expert at reading people, and Alec would melt into an embrace. He was touch-starved. It was painted all over him.

Magnus curses. “Yes, I’d accept him.”

He’s going to regret this.

 

************

 

“Every Wednesday?” Magnus asks for the third time.

Alec nods and continues his portion of the contract.

Magnus blinks down at his pen. “Alec, there are cheaper alternatives.” Alec doesn’t appear to care. “I can recommend you to someone. His name is Raphael, and you’d like him. He’s a professional.”

Alec’s stunning hazel eyes peer at him. A crease between his thick eyebrows. “Is your schedule full?”

“Well, no,” Magnus replies. He recently dropped two clients. They moved too far away to continue services.

Hurt spreads across Alec’s face, and his shoulders rise to his ears. He folds his arms. “Do you not want to? Catarina said you accepted me as a client, but I should’ve asked you first…”

“I want to,” Magnus says. “I can. I have that day available. I just want to make sure this is what you want.”

Alec frowns, offended. Magnus finds it cute. “This is what I want. I can make this decision on my own.”

Magnus doesn’t rise to the bait. That reaction was the result of deep rooted issues, and Magnus isn’t touching that. He shifts to another topic. “I want you to be aware that nothing above your original request will be acted upon. You will fill out a questionnaire - completed - and that’s final. I’m not letting up on that.”

Alec nods, and his frown turns serious. “Of course.”

“Alright.” Magnus goes through the papers and lingers on the fifth page. His mouth tugs into a smile. “You want me to list my favorite meals and restaurants?”

Alec’s defensiveness washes off his tense shoulders, and his arms hang low at his sides. “In case you’re hungry. I can cook for you or order in.”

Magnus’s brows jump to his forehead. “You’ll cook for me?”

Alec goes back to the blushing boy he was. “I can’t cook much, but there are a few things I can make.”

Magnus doesn’t bother telling him he doesn’t need to do such a thing. Alec he’s learning doesn’t back down when he has his mind set. He leans his elbows on the counter and looks at Alec through his eyelashes. “You know, if you want to get in my pants, all you have to do is sign a contract and fill out a questionnaire.”

He gets the desired effect. Alec laughs and goes back to signing. “Why do you insist on me filling it out?”

Magnus starts to sign his own paperwork. “Because we all have limits, Alexander, and I want everyone safe and happy.”

“And me telling you I don’t like degradation or being physically abused is supposed to make me safe and happy?” Alec asks quizzically.

“It tells me you like being a good boy and not a bad boy,” Magnus says, filing the information away. He would’ve guessed as such. Alec blushes harder and focuses on the paper entirely. Magnus can tell he’s listening though.

“What are your limits?” Alec asks quietly.

Magnus squints his eyes at him. “My darling, the only limits in this context would be a hard mattress and we both need to wear underwear.”

“Agreed,” Alec says. “What about butter?”

Magnus freezes. Alec’s face gives nothing away. “What?”

Alec smiles. “For the popcorn.”

Magnus can’t explain why, but he laughs loud and sets down his pen. “See, you know what you’re doing.”

Alec laughs. “Did you think I didn’t?” At Magnus’s face, he rolls his eyes. He gestures to the shelves by the TV. “I don’t know everything, but I’m not going into this blind. Go pick a movie once you’re done, and I’ll make the popcorn.”

Alec leaves for the kitchen, and Magnus finishes the paperwork. It was relatively short, much less pages for their situation. He lists various restaurants and food since he isn’t picky. He leaves the paperwork on the counter and walks over to the shelves.

Alec’s movie collection is impressive. All sorts of genres, varying from old classics to new creations. One movie sticks out to him, and he puts the DVD in. He doesn’t know many people who still own physical copies, but the nostalgia is nice.

Alec comes from the kitchen with a big bowl of popcorn. He joins Magnus on the couch. He doesn’t look at the screen, ignoring the TV entirely. He sets the bowl on Magnus’s lap and scoots closer. He grabs a blanket and throws it over them. Magnus watches in amusement as the other man situates himself. Alec presses into his side and in a way Magnus finds incredibly adorable, he lays his head on Magnus’s shoulder. He closes his eyes.

“Did I pick a bad movie?” Magnus teases.

Alec shrugs. “I haven’t seen most of the movies I own. Is this okay?”

“No.” Alec instantly tenses, and Magnus reaches down and grabs the back of his legs. He pulls Alec’s legs off the floor and over his lap. He pats Alec’s thigh and guides him back to his shoulder. “Now, this is okay.”

He feels Alec smile into his sleeve and snuggle closer. His arms wrap around Magnus’s body, reminding Magnus of a snake. Magnus says so, and Alec turns nonverbal again and sticks his face in the crook of his neck.

Magnus was wrong. Alec is a cat. A very affectionate, needy cat.

Alec continues to be a needy cat every Wednesday evening. They create a routine. Magnus comes over around the same time, and Alec greets him with a home cooked meal or something ordered in. Alec touches him while he eats, however small and fleeting. A hand on his shoulder, seated close on the couch, or pressed on his side.

Then after Magnus eats, they’ll lay out on the couch or bed. Magnus will talk about anything and everything. He doesn’t get too personal. He sticks to vague details about his day, and then he moves on to stories from his travels around the world. Some of them are from trips his clients took him on, and the rest he went on with friends. Judging by the way Alec doesn’t immediately fall asleep, he likes listening to those the best.

Alec never says a word. He puts his face behind or in the crook of Magnus’s neck, and he wraps his arms around him. He was being very vulnerable around someone he only recently met. It makes Magnus want to touch him back. Run his hand through his dark hair or his fingers down his arm.

A month passes, and Magnus starts to look forward to Wednesdays. Alec was opening up more, meeting Magnus with his own jokes and smiles. He was kind and considerate, always making sure Magnus was comfortable before cuddling into his back or side.

Today was different. Magnus can’t explain in exact words, but today was different than the rest.

They finished eating and were laying in bed. It was an extra bedroom with a TV and a huge closet. The same room from the first night. Alec offered to turn on the TV or music for him. Magnus kindly declined and pulled the other man to him. He saw the bags under his eyes. The boy was exhausted, and more quiet and touchy. He didn’t want to let go of Magnus.

There’s a desk by a window. On top are a bunch of medical books and a laptop. It was messier than usual with various highlighters and pens. It was strange to see anything in Alec’s home in such disarray.

Was Alec in medical school? How could he afford this place if he was?

“Did you drop Victor as a client?” Alec suddenly asks, voice loud in the silent room. His breath tickles the back of Magnus’s neck. Magnus frowns, trying to remember when he spoke about him.

Alec turns his hand over, and he runs his thumb across Magnus’s wrist. The bruises have mostly faded from a night gone bad. People sometimes forget he is a person, and his consent is as important.

It happened a week ago, and Alec panicked. He insisted on massaging the muscles, and he held Magnus’s hand the whole evening. Here he quietly investigates the limb, gaze unclear and tired.

Magnus didn’t think Alec was listening when he was ranting about his day. The tenderness Alec shows him makes it hard to breathe sometimes. Alec usually doesn’t talk when they cuddle. In fact, Magnus can’t recall a single time.

“I did,” Magnus whispers. He pushes the memories down. “It was a difficult decision.”

Alec huffs a soft laugh. “You don’t have to lie to me, Bane. I’m glad you won’t see him again. Is that selfish of me?”

Magnus smiles. He squeezes Alec’s hand. “You have me, Alec.”

Time passes and Alec is snoring softly in his ear, still holding onto Magnus’s hand. Magnus relaxes his hand and intertwines their fingers.

He has a sick feeling those four words are going to hold more weight than he wants.

Chapter Text

Magnus puts his face in his hands. He focuses on his breathing, slow and steady. His knees shake, and his toes flex in the carpet. An exercise he learned worked to help reduce anxiety. It isn’t helping so much, and he gets out of his chair.

His morning was going so well. One client he enjoyed working with. Andrew was a kind man, very sweet and submissive. Magnus always looked forward to appointments with him. Any high endorphins he got from their morning were tainted now.

He goes to his closet and grabs his yoga mat. He opens the door to his balcony, and he basks in the sunlight and wind. His skin is heated and overstimulated. He puts his headphones in his ears and turns his music on loud. He squats down and pets an orange cat who snuck in.

He goes through the motions. The same routine and stretches. He shuts off his mind, willing the chaos out and replacing it with calm. Yoga normally relaxes his endless spiraling. He’s practiced it ever since he started college, and he learned about its advantages in a stress management course.

It wasn’t working this time. It didn’t matter how much he pushed his muscles or how long he did the breathing techniques. He couldn’t reach that tranquility. He couldn’t catch his breath.

He should call Catarina. He should tell her he’s unable to make his appointment with Alec. He’s not in the right mind frame. Alec needs him calm, and he can’t be there for him like this. Alec will sense his anxiety, and he won’t be able to relax. Alec pays a lot of money to have a safe place to be vulnerable. He pays a lot of money to have Magnus hold him in his arms and fall asleep.

Magnus doesn’t know why Alec pays him just to cuddle him. He doesn’t know what kind of life he has to force him to rely on a sex worker for comfort. Magnus hasn’t asked. It wasn’t his place, and he was happy to be paid.

He’s scrolling for Catarina’s number when she calls him. He answers, “Cat, my dear. I was about to call you.”

“I’m glad you answered,” Catarina says. “Alec is requesting you immediately.”

Magnus stops pacing. “Why? What’s wrong? Is he okay?”

“He called, and he sounded strained on the phone. He wouldn’t tell me what was wrong.” Magnus’s stomach twists with worry. “I think he was crying.”

Magnus clutches his phone. He doesn’t understand, and he suddenly hates how very tight-lipped Alec is about his life. Magnus didn’t want to pry, and it wasn’t his job to ask questions. Alec is a mystery, and he didn’t want to cross any boundaries.

Magnus quickly changes out of his sweaty clothes. He blindly puts together an outfit and shoes, and he’s out the door. He gets on the elevator and goes down to the garage to get to his car.

Alec’s apartment is thirty minutes away, and he gets there in twenty. He tosses his keys to the valet and dashes inside. The elevator is full, and he taps anxiously on the balance bar. He runs out of the elevator and knocks on the door. He knocks twice, and Alec opens the door.

“Alec?” Magnus asks, shocked at the other man’s disheveled hair and inflamed cheeks wet with tears.

Alec sniffs and pulls Magnus into a tight embrace. His arms shake, and Magnus’s shoulder quickly becomes soaked. Magnus has to stretch to close the apartment door. Alec moves with him, refusing to give him an inch of leeway. He wraps around Magnus, and Magnus was right about the muscles. Alec is strong, and his normal affection, needy tendencies have soared. Magnus shushes him, whispers general praises and encouragement. Nothing to make Alec uncomfortable, though he doubts the boy was listening to him.

“Alec, are you alright?” Magnus asks, louder and compelling. Alec didn’t look hurt when he walked in. “My darling, what is the matter?”

Alec lets out a sob and Magnus’s chest aches. He runs his fingers through Alec’s hair. He grasps one of Alec’s hands and brings it to his chest. “I need you to breathe with me.”

Alec doesn’t do it for several minutes, but then he starts to deeply inhale and exhale. He cries some more, and he chokes out, “My mother. I - I can’t do this. My mother is going to find out.”

“Going to find out what?”

Alec sucks in a breath, tensing all over, and he tries to break contact. Magnus doesn’t let him. His eyes are bloodshot. His knees buckle. “I’m not following the rules.”

Magnus goes cold. Rules?

Alec falls to his knees. Magnus has two choices: stay standing or go down with him. Magnus chooses the latter. He grabs hold of Alec to pull him to his lap. Alec shakes his head, still sniffing and trying to breathe.

Alec weakly pushes on Magnus’s chest and tries to stand. Magnus grabs his wrists to hold him steady. “Let me help, Alexander. I want to help.”

Alec shakes his head. “No, this isn’t fair to you. I don’t want to take advantage.”

“I want to help, Alexander. I promise.” Magnus wipes at Alec’s cheeks.

“This is too much,” he sobs. “I should’ve cancelled.”

“I need to help you,” Magnus says. His voice is thin and serious. “I worked at my other job today. I am a phone sex operator. A teenager called in, and he told me he was in danger. He told me he’s gay, and his father wanted to kill him. I couldn’t guarantee his safety. I felt helpless. Let me help you.”

Alec blinks down at him. Tears fall into parted lips. His bright eyes search Magnus’s face. Worry was painted all over his features. “Bane, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

Magnus kisses Alec’s palm. “Don’t worry about me.” He pats Alec’s side. “Stand up, darling. Let me get us some water and some crackers. We’ll go and lay down, and we will talk.”

Alec frowns, ready to argue. Magnus squints at him, daring him to challenge his request. Alec wipes at his face and stands to his feet. Magnus steadies him and tells him to go. Alec doesn’t argue this time. He leaves for the bedroom, while Magnus gets two glasses and a bowl for them. He’s familiar with Alec’s kitchen, and he grabs the first box of crackers he finds. He fills their glasses and goes after Alec.

Magnus shushes him when Alec tries to speak. He sets their things on the bedside table, and he climbs into the bed. He gets under the covers with Alec, and he brings Alec close where they lay facing each other. Alec eagerly presses into his side, and Magnus rubs his shoulder and waits patiently.

“My mother is a highly respected and known lawyer,” Alec says through deep breaths. He plays with Magnus’s fingers. “She’s told me I was to fall in her footsteps. I was going to be working with her at her firm. She had these plans laid out for me since I could walk.”

Magnus runs a hand through Alec’s hair. Alec goes on. “If I said I wanted to be anything else, she would put her foot down and tell me it was my duty as her son to join her in the family business. My whole family are lawyers, and I couldn’t embarrass her.”

Magnus bites his tongue from saying what’s on his mind. His mother sounds like a snobby, selfish brat who thinks the whole world orbits around her.

“I wanted to be a nurse, and she hated it. She called me a disappointment and to throw the idea away. She said it was never going to happen - not if she has anything to do with it.”

That explains the medical books in the extra bedroom.

Alec’s crestfallen face hurts Magnus to see. “She agreed to a compromise. I could get my bachelor in science, and then take the LSAT and go to law school. Once I prove myself, I can go off and work at a hospital if I want.”

“That’s unfair, Alec,” Magnus says sympathetically. “She doesn’t have any right to force you to go to law school just because she did. This is your life, not hers.”

Alec shakes his head. “She pays for everything, Bane. My classes, my apartment, food, car, phone, and all my other bills. She controls every aspect of my life. If she finds out I’m lying, she could take all of that away. She’s more than willing to throw me out.”

Magnus soothingly rubs his arm and brushes his thumb along his knuckles. “What are you lying about, darling?”

Alec squeezes his eyes shut and his breathing turns rapid. He opens his eyes. “I’m not getting my bachelor’s degree. I finished my ADN program and took the exam. I became a registered nurse over a year ago. I work at the general hospital down the road. I study law books so I can be ready when she quizzes me for the LSAT.”

Magnus frowns and massages the back of Alec’s neck. “She doesn’t ask for your transcripts or the bill?”

“Most of it is scholarships. I have a friend who is getting her bachelor’s degree in science, and she sends me a copy of hers. I add my name at the top,” Alec explains. “She hardly glances at it. I’m lucky she doesn’t particularly wish to talk to me more than once a month.”

Magnus’s blood boils. How could a mother treat her son like this? He couldn’t believe how callous she was.

“I’m not naive. She’ll figure it out someday,” Alec murmurs. “I took the quickest nursing program so I could get a job. I got a job down the road, and I don’t need the car should she take it back. She already paid for this apartment for the whole year… I hate this apartment.”

“Why?”

Alec looks around the room with distaste. “It’s too… grand. It’s too big and a waste of space. I hired someone to decorate it for me. I didn’t have the time to do it myself.” He gives his desk a forlorn look. “I feel like I’m living someone else’s life. I’m in a bubble, and I can’t get out.”

“That sounds exhausting,” Magnus tells him. No wonder Alec looks ready to collapse each time he sees him. “I’m so sorry she puts you through hell. You don’t deserve that.”

Alec clenches his jaw. “That’s not even all of it.” Magnus looks at him, startled by his fury. “When I came out to her, she shouted at me. She told me to not tell a single soul, and she threatened to disown me if she ever finds me with another man. It’s why I don’t leave this place besides to work. She knows the owner, and she keeps her tabs on me.”

Magnus stares at him, heated and in disbelief. “That's why you hired me.”

Alec nods, and he toys with Magnus’s rings. “I’ve never gone on a real date before.” He blushes. “This isn’t a date, and you’re not my boyfriend. I’m well aware, but my mother makes me go on dates with women from other law firms. I’ve procrastinated by telling her I’m too busy. It depends on her mood on whether she forces me to go.” His voice turns frail. “I wanted to know how it feels to be with a - someone. Feel another body and experience intimate connection. I want closeness with another person, and it drives me insane.”

Magnus tilts Alec’s chin with his free hand. He smiles warmly at him and cups his face. “I’m right here.” He wipes more tears off his cheeks. “I love our weekly dates. You’re a sweet boyfriend cooking me dinner and cuddling me.”

Alec blushes and looks down at their hands. He scoots impossibly closer and leans his cheek on Magnus’s front. Magnus rubs his back, pleased to see he was no longer shaking like a leaf.

Magnus guesses it’ll be an early night. Alec goes quiet, exhausted from his panic attack, and the room stills peacefully.

“Why do you do this job?”

Magnus thought Alec fell asleep. Alec wanted to exchange information, probably feeling vulnerable, and Magnus can't blame him. Opening up and letting someone truly learn about you takes a lot of courage. He’s learned more about Alec in the last hour than the past two months.

“Because I’m good at it,” Magnus says truthfully. “I enjoy sex. I like the connection with someone. There’s something about giving someone a mind-numbing orgasm and watching them sink down and let go. Forget everything bad going on in their lives and let me push them over that edge. It’s beautiful to witness.”

“Oh,” Alec replies shyly. Magnus grins at him. “Is this your only job?”

“If I don’t feel up for anything physical, I work the phone. I have some regulars, and I take the newbies.” Alec smiles and Magnus squeezes their hands. “I don’t need to work much, and it is about time I go on a holiday.”

“Where would you go?” Alec asks quietly. He was falling asleep, but the news woke him.

“Don’t worry, darling. I’ll give you two weeks' notice,” Magnus teases. He leans in, causing Alec’s breath to hitch. “I’ll have to hold you for hours when I get back to make up for it.”

Alec’s hazel eyes darken by a small degree, enough for Magnus to notice and chuckle.

“Why did you hire a sex worker for cuddles?” Magnus asks sweetly. The question is heavy on his tongue. He brings his hand from Alec’s neck to his forehead to push back his hair. His hair was soft. He still smells like pine and snow.

Alec leans into his touch. “I wanted to be t-touched. I wanted this.” He nods to Magnus's hands on him. His voice drops an octave. “Professional cuddlers don’t touch you like this.”

Magnus kisses Alec’s cheekbone in response and smiles at his pretty whine. He pulls away, bringing their lips half an inch apart. “I can make you feel so good. Make those pretty eyes roll.”

“You already make me feel a million times better,” Alec says with excruciating honesty. The sincerity makes Magnus pause. His words slur a little. “You confuse me. I thought I knew what I wanted, but then you knocked on my door.”

“Can’t say I’m sorry,” Magnus says. He kisses Alec’s chin, jaw, and temple, while also exploring him with his hands. He wants to see those muscles, but for now all he can do is touch. Alec said he wanted affection. He can do that. “A pretty boy like you. Is this too much?”

“No,” Alec replies instantly, and he blushes. The pink crawls down his neck and under his shirt. Magnus wants to explore how far it goes. He shifts his body, and Magnus feels something hard against his leg. Alec curses. “I-I didn’t. Can you, uh, can we go back to what we were doing before?”

“Of course," Magnus says. He doesn’t turn around. He lightly maneuvers Alec to turn around instead. He doesn’t let Alec argue. He wraps his arms around his middle and tugs him close. He intertwines their legs and sticks his face in Alec’s neck, surrounding the other man completely.

Alec melts in his hold. Magnus grins, feeling nothing less like a predator trapping their victim.

Alec is touch-starved, and he’s happy to show him how it feels to be touched by someone who wants him. He’s happy to touch and feel and watch Alec tremble from the affection Magnus gives him. He wants to see his blush trail down his body.

Alec is so young, and he’s dealt with far more stress and anguish than anyone Magnus knows. If Magnus could get his hands on Alec’s mother, he’d rip her to shreds for making Alec feel so alone. For making Alec feel like he has no one, and he didn’t have the right to live his own life.

By the way Alec tilts his head to give Magnus room to place his face there, maneuvers Magnus’s arms tighter around him, and sinks deeper in his embrace, this is what Alec needed. This is what Alec craved since he made an appointment with Downworld Corporation. He wanted someone to hold him and make him feel safe and cared for. Alec needs affection, touch-starved and needy Alec, and Magnus is happy to give him everything.

Chapter Text

Raphael points at another painting, and Magnus grimaces. Raphael rolls his eyes and points to another one, and Magnus actively recoils in disgust. “Oh my God. What did you expect this store to have? Art work painted by Picasso or Michelangelo?”

“I thought this place would have a little class,” Magnus grumbles. “I didn’t expect paintings drawn by third graders.”

Raphael gives a painting of a giraffe a judgmental look in agreement. “Why didn’t we go to the places you went to for your place?”

Magnus searches through another pile. “Because we’re not shopping for me.”

“Who are we shopping for?” Raphael asks.

“Someone who’s too stressed to know what he wants,” Magnus replies cryptically. “He didn’t decorate a single thing in his home. A true tragedy that needs to be rectified.”

Raphael gives him a long look. “You decorated my living room.”

“Yes, but I know you, my dear boy.” He pats Raphael’s shoulder. “We have been friends for years. I know what you like. I took your obsession for a black and void palette and used it to create your elegant and classy sanctuary meant for creatures of the night.”

“You’re hilarious,” Raphael deadpans. “You can make fun of my taste, but you and the King of England could go on and on about your high quality and natural fibers in bedsheets. Oh, and statues made of gold in the shape of angel warriors.”

“I like what I like,” Magnus says with a winning smile. “Once you go memory foam in a room fit for a king, you never go back.”

Raphael’s mouth twitches. The only sign he lets show. Magnus wiggles his fingers at him, and he leaves the aisle. “How’s Stan?”

“It’s Simon,” Raphael corrects. “He has a concert tomorrow. The fool is going on tour.”

“Anywhere interesting?” Magnus asks, searching the different aisles.

“Chicago,” Raphael says. “I figured I’d go too. I have a few clients out there.”

Magnus squints his eyes at him. Raphael looks a little too hard at a set of dinosaur shaped pepper and salt shakers. “You’re going to travel with a band to another state. I didn’t realize your dedication as his groupie.”

“Shut up,” Raphael snaps. “I’m not a groupie. He's my friend, and he’ll annoy me if I don’t go.”

Magnus sighs dramatically. “Well, you do care so much about other people’s feelings. It’s just how you are.”

Raphael smiles tightly and through clenched teeth he says, “I am a caring guy.”

Magnus laughs. “For some reason you won’t attend any parties with me. What if I get too drunk to drive or someone gets handsy with me?”

“It’d be a shame I’m not there to protect your precious dignity,” Raphael retorts. “You’re not that type of girl.”

Magnus clutches his chest. “You hurt me.” He walks into a new aisle and stops. He smiles and looks over his shoulder at Raphael.

Raphael shakes his head and shrugs. “I suppose it could be worse.”

Magnus laughs and heads to check out with his cart of goodies.

“Are you sure about this?” Raphael asks at the check-out section.

It’s a good question, but Magnus doesn’t let doubt wheedle into his mind. He made his decision, and he’s not letting it go. He’s determined to do this, and he ignores the tug in his chest and stirring in his stomach. He’s excited, and he always chases the things that make his heart race. He hasn’t felt this way in a while, and it’s addictive. It’s uncharted territory, and he holds tight to his courage and nurtures it to something immovable.

Magnus leaps into the abyss and the strange, unfamiliar feeling grows despite how hard he tries to prevent it. Alec stares at him at his front door with his eyebrows adorably furrowed. There are circles under his eyes, and he still has his scrubs on.

“What’s this?” Alec asks.

He doesn’t sound annoyed or exasperated. He is confused and slightly suspicious, which is much better. Magnus holds up the two bags. “I figured since you haven’t gone on a date with someone you cared about, then it’s my duty to give you the full experience.”

Alec’s eyes widen and his lips part in astonished disbelief. “Are you serious?”

Magnus chuckles and squeezes past Alec when he moves. “Beware. I have all the cliche first date gifts.”

He goes to the dinner table and places a bouquet of roses in the middle. He reaches into his pocket and throws a handful of rose petals on the table and floor. Once properly decorated, he goes to the shelves of movies and picks out one he found the other day. When Harry Met Sally.

“My sister got me that as a joke,” Alec says, looking physically pained.

Magnus grins and hands it out. “Put it on. It’s a universal experience watching this movie on a date.”

Alec gives him a very concerned look. “And what guy thought it was a good idea?”

“A woman,” Magnus corrects kindly. “Camille. She was awful.”

“Yeah, I bet,” Alec teases. He rubs at his arm. “Is this why you wanted steak?”

“Yes. A romantic meal, isn’t it? I brought the wine.” He takes out the bottle. “Raven’s grill makes delicious sirloin.”

Alec doesn’t meet his eye. “I cooked them.”

Magnus pauses. “You cooked them? You worked today.”

Alec fiddles with the nametag he has yet to remove. “Cooking steak is my specialty. I wanted to cook.”

“But,” Magnus stammers. “How?”

“I used a sous vide machine,” Alec explains. “I came here during my lunch, and I put the steaks in so they would be ready by the time my shift ended.”

Magnus’s brows shoot up to his forehead. “You came all the way here to do that?” His heart does that funny tug. “Alexander, have I told you how perfect you are?”

Alec smiles, shy and blushing, and it reminds Magnus of the sun. “I also made asparagus.”

“Vegetables are very important,” Magnus teases. “I’ll set the table and put on some music.”

Alec nods, and Magnus finds the fancy dishes easily. He gets two sets of everything, and he pours them each a glass of wine. He finds a candle and matches, and he lights it. The candle smells like jasmine, and it’s one of his favorite scents.

Alec brings in their meals and takes a seat. He changed out of his scrubs for a nice pair of slacks and a buttoned down shirt. He is barefoot and effortlessly cute, and Magnus wants to eat him. Magnus sits down, and he reaches over and drags Alec closer. If Alec wants affection, then affection is what he will get. Alec looks at him fondly, and he scoots closer.

Magnus takes a bite of his steak and moans at the taste. “This is delicious, Alexander.”

“Good,” Alec replies, satisfied. “I hope it’s not too pink.”

“I’m not too picky with my meat,” Magnus says. Alec chokes on his bite, and Magnus giggles and sips at his wine.

“You’re awful,” Alec says after sipping his own glass. He must not be too upset because he leans his temple on Magnus’s shoulder. Magnus smiles at his neediness.

“Speaking of which.” Magnus reaches into his bag and pulls out a wrapped box. “Here.”

Alec frowns and takes the gift. He unwraps it carefully, and Magnus watches him in amusement as he unboxes the item as if there was a bomb inside. Alec holds up the mug. On the front is a picture of a bone and the words I found that humerus written above. “Really?”

Magnus gestures to the room. “You said you didn’t decorate. Thought I’d get you something that symbolizes you and not some generic magazine.”

The frown melts, and Alec holds the mug like something delicate. “That’s very sweet, Bane.”

Magnus winks. “I was not pulling my punches. I wanted to woo you. Is it working?”

“Buying things with puns written on them is how you normally make your clients swoon?”

“No,” Magnus waves off. “I normally bring the movie Dirty Dancing into the conversation. I’ve done the move at the ending where Johnny picks up Baby. It’s been awhile since I’ve done it, but I’m really good at picking someone up in other ways.”

Alec tilts his head, interest piqued. “Why are you holding someone up?” As soon as the question is asked and seeing the spark in Magnus’s eyes, Alec turns red and puts his face in his hands. “I - That was a dumb a question.”

“Not at all,” Magnus assures. He kisses Alec’s shoulder. “I’m happy to prove it to you one day. Give me a wall, and I can hold you off the floor for quite awhile for many scandalous reasons.”

Alec’s body twitches, and his legs snap shut. Magnus smirks and leans in to blow at the sensitive skin under Alec’s ear. Alec lets out a gorgeous whine. He puts his hands in front of a very obvious erection. “I-I’m taller than you. I w-work out every morning.”

Magnus leans his chin on his hand and lets his eyes travel up Alec’s tense body. “You make good points,” he lies. He lowers his voice. “My ego is bruised. At least let me try?”

Alec’s pupils are blown, and he’s breathing fast and heavy. He’s flushed and at a loss for words. He swipes his tongue along his bottom lip, and Magnus watches it and wants to taste. Instead of answering, he starts to talk about his day, and Magnus listens attentively.

Alec takes their plates. “I’m going to do the dishes.”

“Thank you,” Magnus says. “I’ll start the movie. I’m ready for cuddles.”

Alec finishes washing the dishes and disappears down the hall. Magnus has the movie starting by the time he comes back in comfy clothes. Sweatpants and a cotton shirt, and he looks delicious.

Magnus laid out a blanket and a mountain of pillows. Alec sits down beside him, and Magnus quickly pulls him to his side. He brings Alec’s legs over his lap and kisses his cheek. Alec sighs, pleased, and he sinks into Magnus’s arms. Magnus intertwines their fingers and legs.

Alec goes more in depth about his day. He talks about a kid he helped who broke his arm. The kid reminded Alec of his brother, and they took turns playing on his tablet while he waited for his family to show.

Magnus talks about a woman he saw. He didn’t want to tell Alec anything, but the boy was curious. He tells him she usually showed up stressed, and she enjoyed being treated like a plaything. It was stress relieving, and Magnus has worked with her for many years. Today she humped Magnus’s leg until she came.

“Have you ever faked?” Alec asks. He clears his throat and Magnus finds his awkwardness cute. “An orgasm.”

“Of course,” Magnus answers easily. “People have kinks I don’t share, and I’m not always into them.”

Alec looks at him worriedly. “You have sex with people you’re not into?”

Magnus pats his leg. “That mostly happens on the phone. I choose my clients, and I drop them when I want. I don’t always come with clients. It’s not a priority of mine, and I like to focus on them.”

Alec looks ready to argue, conflicted over something Magnus can’t figure out, but doesn’t. “What about your other job?”

“On the phone, I have never came. I’m not allowed to hang up, and I have to either give them what they want or they hang up.”

Alec’s frown deepens. “What if they say something mean or abuse you?”

“Then as soon as the phone call ends, I have them blacklisted,” Magnus shrugs. “It’s really not that big of a deal. Sure, it was rough at the start, but I got over it quickly. It really doesn’t happen often. Maybe once a month.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec says, and he sounds truly hurt.

Magnus squeezes his hand, and he kisses his cheek. “You’re so sweet. Don’t worry about me, okay? I have a pretty boy to cook for me and cuddle.”

Alec’s face turns scarlet, and he hides his face in Magnus’s neck. They watch the movie for another ten minutes before Alec’s curiosity peaks again. His voice is quiet. “What do you talk about on the phone?”

Magnus runs his hand through Alec’s hair. “I help them get off.”

“But you’re not there.”

Magnus turns Alec’s head to whisper in his ear. “I use my voice.” Alec shivers. “I tell them what to do.”

Alec takes a second to process. “W-What do you say?”

Magnus shrugs. “It depends what they’re into. Sometimes they just want an audience and sometimes they want permission.”

Alec swallows. “Permission?”

Magnus smiles and pecks the side of Alec’s mouth. Alec hitches his breath. “My favorite customers are the ones who want to be good. I had one put on their prettiest clothes and listen to my voice. I gave them a few instructions, and I let them come.”

Alec doesn’t look to be breathing. “What did you make them do?”

“Touch themselves,” Magnus says tantalizingly. “Give themselves compliments. Make them feel good on the inside and out, ease them into letting go. It makes me feel like a god to hear them. I’m lucky they gave me the honor.”

Alec twists his body and crawls on top of Magnus. He sits in his lap, and Magnus carefully places his hands neutrally on his knees. Alec bites his lip. “You make me feel good on the inside. I always want to touch you and be in your arms. You don’t make me feel dumb for wanting to be held.”

“I love holding you, my darling,” Magnus says with an honesty deep inside his chest.

“Is this okay?”

Magnus noses at his jaw. “I think I should be the one asking.”

“I haven’t signed anything,” Alec says. Creases form between his brows. He touches Magnus’s shoulders and arms, feeling the muscles and warmth. He cups Magnus’s face. “I just wanted to…”

The rules. The contract Magnus always makes sure to follow. It was for him and his clients. Safety and understanding. All so important, and Magnus never pushed it the side like he wants to right now. It was meant to put everyone on the same side, so no one crosses any boundaries or makes anyone uncomfortable.

But by the look on Alec’s perfect face, and the way Magnus wants to pull him closer if that was even possible, Magnus is certain they’re at an understanding here. He’s learned about Alec and the affection he craves. Alec craves intimacy and the softness within it. He wants to be held and touched tenderly, and Magnus is more than willing to treat him as such.

No. No, he needs to stop this. This could get bad…

Alec leans in and kisses him, and all the rules and contracts flee out of his mind. Alec’s mouth is soft and tastes like blueberry wine. Magnus bites down a moan.

Alec is gentle, hesitant and careful, and Magnus angles his head better. Alec breaks the kiss to look at him, as if this was a dream and neither one could believe it. Magnus brings his hands to his thighs and to his waist. He draws him closer, and Alec sighs into the kiss, more than eager to be in his space.

Alec wraps his arms around him, desperate as the kiss deepens. Magnus swipes his tongue into his parted lips. Alec jerks in his lap, and Magnus feels his hard dick against his. Fuck.

Alec hisses and breaks the kiss, but he doesn’t let go of Magnus. “I’m sorry-“

“You’re so beautiful,” Magnus says, lips an inch from Alec’s. Alec’s eyes are wide and dark with barely contained lust, and hyper focused on Magnus.

Magnus puts his hands on Alec’s hips, and he rocks him slowly. Alec trembles and holds onto him tighter, falling into a clumsy rhythm. There was nowhere they weren't touching. Alec moans, and Magnus wants to hear it over and over.

“I’ve never…” Alec says, breathless. Magnus guides him back and forth, driving the man wild. He kisses Magnus, but he gasps halfway through.

Alec digs his fingers in Magnus’s clothed back. Magnus licks his throat. It was a beautiful neck. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” Alec reveals, voice high and needy. Taken back, Magnus pulls away and meets his wanting gaze. Magnus should’ve guessed but to have it confirmed is entirely different.

“Angel,” Magnus says, enchanted by the man trembling in his lap. “You know how to make a man feel special.”

Alec moans and moves faster. “Bane. Please, I-“

“Are you going to come in your pants, Alexander?” Magnus says in his ear. Alec holds onto him tighter. “Make those pants nice and dirty?”

Alec gives a shaky nod and whine. “Bane.”

“You’re so beautiful,” Magnus purrs. Alec pulls back to meet his gaze, and he looks desperate and vulnerable. Magnus’s heart squeezes at the sight, and gravity is no longer holding him to the ground. He puts his hands on Alec’s hips to encourage him to go faster. He wants to see him fall apart. He needs to see his hazel eyes roll and mouth part in a gasp.

“Bane, please…”

“Yes, darling,” he whispers in their precious little world. “I want my name on your lovely tongue. Let me hear it.”

He’s breaking every rule. Every boundary he created - shredded and burned. Magnus can’t begin to care.

“Bane!” Alec shouts as he comes, body jolting and clutching onto Magnus. “Bane, Bane… Fuck.”

Magnus talks him through it with little praises. There’s a wet patch on the front of Alec’s sweats, and the man is breathing loud and rapid. Magnus holds onto him, soothing him with kisses to his cheeks and nose and rubbing his back.

Alec’s breathing evens out, and he scoots back and reaches for Magnus’s pants. Magnus grabs his wrist before he can. “I want to…”

Magnus kisses his palms. “It’s okay, my darling. You have no idea how much I loved that. You were gorgeous.”

Alex tries again, lips forming words he doesn’t say. Magnus shakes his head.

Magnus kisses his fingers. “Listen to me, okay? Go take a shower and change into clean clothes. I want to snuggle you in my arms.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Alec asks warily. “I want to make you come. I want to see you.”

His question breaks Magnus’s heart. “You could never do anything wrong, my Alexander. You did amazing, and I really want to hold you. Please?”

Alec watches him closely. Something appeases him because he nods and stands. He walks down the hall, and Magnus hears the shower turn on a second later.

Magnus sighs and puts his face in his hands. He needs to pull himself together. He can’t break any of his rules. It’s only going to get messier, and the dreadful feeling of doom has already sunk its hooks into his chest.

Alec comes back thirty minutes later, freshly clean and in new clothes. Magnus turns off the movie and takes Alec’s hand to lead him back to the room. Alec follows mutely, and he nervously waits for Magnus to lay down.

“Come here, darling,” Magnus says with a hand reaching for him.

Alec smiles and hurries into his arms. Magnus kisses his cheek and maneuvers him to turn around so his back is to his chest. Alec sinks into the blankets and squeezes Magnus’s hands.

Magnus kisses the back of his head, and he smells pine and snow. A scent that’s become his new favorite and haunts his dreams.

He’s fucked.

Chapter Text

“You did what?”

Magnus winces at Catarina’s admonishing glare and accusatory tone. He pours a glass of whiskey and makes a screwdriver for Cat. “Trust me, you can’t be more disappointed than I am. I shouldn’t have done anything without Alec filling out the contract. It was incredibly irresponsible and reckless.”

Catarina takes the offered drink. She leans back on her couch. “While, yes, that was stupid of you, you made the contract for your benefit. Mind you, Alec signed the required contract from the very beginning. I’m talking about you giving him gifts and setting up a myriad of first dates in one.”

Magnus sits and folds his leg over the other. He drinks half his glass. “So, you don’t care I took advantage of this kid and took his first kiss and sexual experience, but you do care about me gifting him a mug.”

Catarina takes a long sip of her drink and fixes him with an appraising stare. “You got him a gift that doesn’t benefit you in any way and has nothing to do with sex.”

Magnus chugs the rest of his drink. “So?”

“You’ve never given a client a sentimental gift,” Catarina says.

“It’s not sentimental,” he disagrees with air quotes. “It’s a mug.”

“A mug meant to make him laugh and decorate his home,” Catarina points out evenly. “Please don’t talk to me like I’m dumb. I know you better than this.”

“What do you want me to say, Cat?” Magnus asks, disgruntled and at his wit’s end. “Alexander is trapped in his home. His mother manipulates and abuses him. She controls every aspect of his life. He lies about his life to people he should be able to rely on, and who should love him to the ends of the world. It’s not fair for him.”

Catarina’s sympathetic expression makes his hassles rise. He looks down at his empty glass and stands to make another. “Magnus, this is his life. It’s his business to take care of.”

“I got him a mug,” Magnus says. “Not a ring.”

“You did a lot more than that,” Catarina quips. Magnus avoids her knowing gaze, too swept in the truth he can’t hide from.

“Are you saying I should drop him?” Magnus asks with pained neutrality. His head hurts, and the words leave a sour taste in his mouth.

Catarina joins him at the table, and she takes his hand. “I’m only trying to warn you to be careful. I’m worried about you. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Magnus squeezes her hand. “I know.”

He does know. He knows it’s only a slippery slope to chaos, and he might’ve begun falling weeks ago. He was ignoring his own rules. He was thinking about one client while he’s with the others. He’s never done that, and he’s guilty when he does. His mind should be focused on the client in front of him. It’s what he’s paid to do.

This is his job. He chose this, and he’s really good at it. He loves that connection with someone, but now Alec is at the front of his mind. He is wondering about Alec and whether he’s working himself to death. Is he sleeping? Is he taking care of himself?

Is Alec regretting what they did? Does he regret sharing his first kiss with a sex worker? Does Alec think Magnus used him? Was he in his right mind?

Does he hate him?

The questions drive him crazy, and he has to push them down or the guilt will eat him alive. Not only for what he did with Alec, but he ignored his own principles. The principles and rules he made for a reason. The same rules he didn’t have the credibility or power to make when he first started.

He can’t do it again.

“Can you send him the contract?” Magnus asks. “If he asks any questions, then I can go over them next week.”

Catarina studies him. She is widely perceptive, which is either good or bad depending on what Magnus said or did. In this case, Magnus is lucky to have her as a friend when he needs her most.

“You bet,” Catarina agrees. She is the kindest person he knows, and he values her input more than anyone.

“Thank you,” Magnus tells her genuinely. “I mean it. I can always count on you to screw my head back on.”

Catarina laughs. “No need to get all sappy on me. Make me another glass, and I’ll order the food.”

“Your wish is my command.”

 

***************

 

Alec is a good combination of shyness and confidence. He’s grown to be more confident in what he wants, makes jokes and opens up to a level of intimacy Magnus holds precious. They used to go to the bed to cuddle without saying a word, but Alec soon enough started talking about himself and what sort of week he had. Magnus didn’t mind the silence. If anything, he welcomed the peaceful relaxation of being in the arms of a beautiful man.

But now every fact or secret he learns from Alec, he holds like gems. Alec opening up is him shedding off another protective layer. He wants to be someone Alec trusts. To feel safe is what Alec wanted and to have that ability, it holds power that somehow means more than the trust he built with his other clients. Magnus is grateful for it, and he wants to claim it's his job. This is what Alec asked for, and Magnus should be pleased to meet his needs. He shouldn’t want to push for more, but it’s Alec, and the days he’s with him are too short. He wants something he can’t identify. He should be fulfilled - another happy customer.

It’s maddening.

Magnus knocks on the door. The door opens to Alec in his usual sweats and a thin shirt. Magnus smiles in greeting and Alec invites him in. Alec’s arms are tense where he holds his hands behind his back. Magnus has a sudden need to fix, and he presses a brief kiss to his shoulder. Alec’s taut shoulders relax, and the smile Magnus gets makes him almost trip.

“How are you doing, Alexander?” Magnus asks. “You look well-rested.”

“I took yesterday off,” Alec explains. “I spent the night with my sister. It’s her birthday this weekend, and she’s spending it with her boyfriend, our brother, and their friends.”

Magnus raises a brow. “You don’t like their friends?”

Alec shrugs and Magnus follows him into the kitchen. The scent of garlic bread makes his stomach rumble. “The redhead my brother is seeing gets on my nerves. She’s not much of a rule follower. She pisses me off all the time.”

“She sounds like a firecracker.” Magnus chuckles. “Why aren’t you going to your sister’s birthday bash?”

Alec makes both of their plates. He cooked them spaghetti and garlic bread. “I’m working,” he explains with crestfallen eyes. “I tried to get out of it, but the other nurses have seniority over me.”

“That’s awful,” Magnus says. He finds the bouquet of flowers he gave Alec last week in a vase. The mug he bought sits on the kitchen counter, and there’s something about leaving his mark in Alec’s apartment that makes him lightheaded.

He sits and pulls Alec’s chair closer to his. Alec gives him one of his small smiles and sits down. “Tell me about your sister. If she’s anything like you, I’m sure she’s delightful and gorgeous.”

“She is pretty great,” Alec says, amused. There’s a familiar pride in his voice when talking about his sister. “She’s studying to be a coroner. She’s always been the scientist in the family.”

Magnus frowns. “I thought you said your whole family are lawyers?”

Alec goes rigid, and he straightens his back. “I’m the eldest, and our mother said it was my duty to take over the law firm. She said if I did what I was told, then my sister can do what she wants. I had to do it. My sister would have made things worse, and they would be at each other’s throats. It wouldn’t be good for anyone.”

Magnus puts his hand on Alec’s shoulder. “It’s not your responsibility to keep them from fighting. Your mother shouldn’t have any power over what you two do in your lives. It’s not fair for you to give up your happiness just to keep the peace.”

“My sister’s happiness is important to me,” Alec murmurs. He looks far away, and Magnus rubs his arm. “Her schooling is being paid, which she wouldn’t be able to afford without our mother paying for everything. We’d lose our apartments and everything else we have. It’s all tied to her. We can’t cut her out or make her mad enough to go nuclear.”

“You have a job,” Magnus reminds him gently. “You have a stable job at a hospital in an area filled with plenty of apartment complexes. This apartment is paid for next year. It’ll hold you over until you find a new place.”

None of it would be easy. To change your life completely sounds exhausting and nerve-wracking. It’d scare anyone to do it, and Magnus is not envious of what Alec might need to do one day.

Alec looks at him with a deep sadness that digs in Magnus’s chest. He anxiously taps his fingers on the table. The food long forgotten. “I don’t know if I can, Bane. This might sound stupid and foolish, but she’s my mom. Her yelling about how disappointed she is? It doesn’t ever stop hurting. I have to bend over backwards just for her to look at me. I can’t remember the last time she told me she was proud of me.”

“You deserve so much more, Alexander,” Magnus says. He takes his hand and kisses his knuckles. “I’m not your mother or someone of importance, but I’m proud of you. You worked hard to get to where you wanted to be. You became a nurse, and you help hundreds of people every day. You do that, and you study law. The idea of being a lawyer gives me a headache.”

Alec’s mouth twitches.

“If your sister is anything like you, she’s a warrior too, and she wouldn’t want you doing this for her. She’d want you happy.”

Alec makes a face, and Magnus can tell she has told him exactly that.

“You must be some form of supernatural,” Magnus teases, but no less serious. “I did call you an angel. Is that what you are? You have the beauty of someone with angel blood.”

Alec rolls his eyes. His distress melts little by little, replaced with pink tinted cheeks. “Is this what I should become accustomed to? You being cheesy?”

“I love a good pet name.” Magnus smiles and leans in. “Sweetpea. Pumpkin. Honey?”

Alec scrunches his nose and Magnus laughs at his adorable face. “Please, no.”

“As you wish, button.” Magnus pokes Alec’s nose.

“You’re unbelievable,” Alec deadpans, but he can’t hide his amusement. It shows brightly on his face and the way he’s trying to bite back a smile. They go back to their meals, and Magnus is halfway done when he breaks the calm silence.

“You shouldn’t have kissed me, Alec,” Magnus says delicately. The conversation needs to be had, and there is no better way to start it.

The color drains from Alec’s face, horrified. He stiffens again, as if he was waiting to be reprimanded. “I’m so sorry, Bane. Did you not want…”

Magnus puts a hand on Alec’s shoulder. “No, I did. I just wish you shared your first kiss with someone who means something to you.”

“You do mean something to me,” Alec says with a deep frown. “How could you think that? I’m not a child. I wanted you to be my first kiss.”

“I’ve kissed a lot of people, Alec,” Magnus admits. He doesn’t understand why he’s arguing, but he can’t stop. “I’ve had a lot of clients.”

“I don’t care how many people you’ve been with.”

The stark honesty steals the air from Magnus’s lungs. It hits him like a truck. “You don’t?”

“Of course not,” Alec answers quickly, as if the very thought offended him. He takes their unfinished plates and brings them to the sink. When he comes back, he’s holding a packet of papers. “I’m sorry, I should’ve filled this out before kissing you. It was wrong of me.”

“Alec,” Magnus sighs. “You don’t need to apologize to me. The contract is to make us comfortable. Boundaries should not be crossed. With the contract, everyone is on the same page. No one gets hurt. It’s important to me. Thank you for doing it.”

Alec narrows his eyes at him. “Did someone hurt you?”

“It’s all in the past,” he reassures. He stands to be eye-level and pats Alec’s chest. “Are you alright with what we did? It was your first time, and I want to make sure you’re not having any regrets or anxiety. It’s perfectly normal if you are.”

Alec’s jaw clenches, and he has his hands behind his back again. His face is hard, and a multitude of emotions flash in his expressive eyes. “I don’t need to be handled with kid gloves, Bane.”

“Hey, it’s me,” Magnus croons. He tugs on Alec’s arms to get his hands. Alec gives no fight, and Magnus smiles encouragingly and kisses his palm. “I just want to make you happy. I want to take care of you and make sure you’re comfortable.”

“I am comfortable,” Alec murmurs. The tension in his shoulders dissipate. “I can relax when I’m with you.”

“That means so much to me to hear.”

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” Alec asks urgently. The devastation is threaded in his voice, and it pains Magnus to hear. “Bane, I’m so sorry. I should’ve done it earlier. It was wrong of me to kiss you and…” He winces. “Get in your lap and touch you without asking.”

The sincerity is not something Magnus is used to. It’s rare for someone to feel guilty for touching him when he has this profession. “Alec, I promise I’m not upset. I’m a big boy. I would’ve told you to stop. I wanted it too. Plus, you did ask.”

The worry is still there, ringing like a bell in his voice. Alec moves like he’s in a trance, wrapping his arms around Magnus’s upper back. “When I’m with you, I feel like I can breathe again. I know I’m safe. I trust you.”

“I trust you too, my darling,” Magnus says sweetly. He kisses Alec’s jaw and tries to control his chaotic thoughts about how much he means that declaration, and how much it meant for him to hear. “I don’t regret what we did. You looked gorgeous writhing on my lap with your sweet moans.”

Alec’s eyes darken by a fraction, and Magnus chuckles. He grabs the paper, takes Alec’s hand, and brings them to the couch. A TV show is playing on mute. Alec practically falls on top of him, snuggling into his side and laying his cheek on his shoulder. Magnus kisses his forehead and reads over the form.

None of the information is entirely new. His sexual interests are tame for the most part, and his lack of experience is clear on paper. Most of his interests are what Magnus already guessed. Soft touches, giving, sweet words, and praises. He wants to be desired. He wants to be wanted and important.

The longer Magnus reads, the tighter he holds onto Alec. Alec blinks up at him and smiles, and Magnus wraps his arms around him. The TV is on, but neither one of them could say what was playing.

Alec moves to lay down on his back. He brings Magnus down with him. Magnus’s heart tugs at the sight of him. His black hair soft on the pillows, and the way he looks so disarmed and worry-free. The trust he sees makes Magnus feel unworthy of it.

He tenderly brushes the hair from Alec’s face. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

Alec blushes and tugs at his shirt. “Kiss me.”

Magnus kisses him. He kisses him until they’re both breathless, and he goes down to his neck and ear. Alec moans breathlessly and holds onto him, not letting Magnus put an inch between their bodies. He gets lost in the mesmerizing smell of pine and snow, and he’s greedy to touch. He wants to study every inch of Alec’s body and memorize what sounds he makes. He files away small details, such as how hard Alec trembles when he calls him pretty and good.

Magnus moves to lean on his side. Something hard was poking in the space between his legs, and he wanted to make the boy see stars again. He whispers in Alec’s ear, “I want to make you feel good.”

Alec’s moan is high and desperate. “Yes. Please, I-I need you.”

Magnus kisses him. “So polite.”

It’s awkward with how hard Alec pulls him close. He didn’t want Magnus to stop kissing him, so the angle is a little off and he can’t get to his clothes. Alec doesn’t seem to mind, as he moans the second Magnus works his hand passed his waistband and wraps around his cock. Magnus has a suspicion Alec will disapprove if he dares to seek out lube, so he licks his palm and hopes it’s enough. Alec is hard and hot, and Magnus spreads his precum to make the glide easier.

“You’re so hard for me,” Magnus says in a sultry tone in Alec’s neck. He has a lovely neck, and he wants to mark it with his teeth. Alec outwardly shakes and uses both hands to bring Magnus’s lips to his. He whispers sweet nothings between kisses, little praises he’s picked up that makes Alec shiver and fall apart.

“You feel so good,” Magnus praises. “You’re perfect, Alexander. I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

Alec mewls and clutches onto Magnus, as if he was the only thing keeping him afloat. Magnus wouldn’t leave him, even if his life depended on it. “Bane. Oh my god. Yes. Fuck!”

Magnus twists his wrist and thumbs at the head. He gives long, hard strokes, and he stares entranced with the boy in his arms. Alec’s eyes roll back. “Such a beautiful boy. Are you going to come for me? Show me how gorgeous you are when you come.”

“Please,” Alec cries. He brings Magnus down by his neck and kisses him. It turns into an openmouth kiss when Magnus moves his wrist faster. “I-I’m going to. Please, I - fuck.”

Alec comes with a shout. Magnus kisses his cheeks and along his jaw, showering him with compliments. Alec doesn’t let go of him once.

Once the after effects are over, Magnus removes his hand. Alec reaches for a tissue box and hands him one to clean off. Magnus kisses him in thanks.

Alec kisses his cheek and under his ear. “I want to make you feel good like you do for me.”

Magnus cups his cheek with his clean hand. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I owe you everything,” Alec says. He lightly pushes at Magnus to switch their positions. Magnus lays on his back now, and Alec hovers over him. “You confuse me. I have to think about what I truly want around you. More than this. Outside of this bubble I’m trapped in. You make me want to get out of it.”

Magnus doesn’t know what to say, so he simply smiles at him. With his mind set, Alec kisses him from his lips to his collarbone. He starts to move lower, and Magnus tries to tell him he doesn’t need to do this. Alec ignores him and continues going down his body, leaving a trail of innocent kisses.

“You’re going to kill me, Alexander,” he breathes.

Alec kisses the bit of skin showing between his shirt and pants. The feel of his lips sends an intense spark of need through Magnus’s body. “I haven’t even touched you yet.”

Magnus runs his hands through Alec’s hair. “You don’t need to touch me.”

“I want to touch you.”

That isn’t what I meant.

Alec kisses the tent in his pants and Magnus sucks in a breath. He’s paralyzed on the couch, helpless to Alec’s wants and sexual curiosity. His skin is on fire, and he aches all over for the man between his legs. He runs his hands through his hair, down to his neck and shoulders, and a little under his shirt collar. He needs to feel his skin and the muscles underneath.

Alec’s fingers struggle to unbutton and unzip his pants. He looks laughably intense and worried he’s going to somehow mess this up. Magnus doubts he could do anything to him and not make him feel good.

“Can you tell me what to do?” Alec asks.

“Of course,” Magnus soothes. He doesn’t bother saying they can stop. Alec wouldn’t like it.

Alec bites his lip. “Can you touch me?”

Magnus cups his face from where it’s pressed to his thigh. “I love touching you, darling. My sweet, cuddly pup.”

Alec scrunches his nose. “Pup?”

Magnus laughs, and it breaks the built up tension in his chest. “Panda?”

“Please stop.”

Magnus chuckles and sits up, and he tenderly caresses Alec’s heated face. He kisses him, soft and slow, and Alec chases his lips. “Sex is supposed to be fun.”

“I’m having fun,” Alec whispers. His pupils are blown with need, and Magnus lets him push him to his back.

He inhales sharply when Alec pulls down his pants and briefs. Alec looks at him through his eyelashes, and his eyes are dark and full of want.

He talks Alec through it. He’s hesitant, yet he makes up for his inexperience with enthusiasm. Magnus guides him by his hair, and he holds Alec’s hand with the other. He doesn’t let his lack of experience hold him back. He follows Magnus’s guidance, eager to learn and do well. Magnus pets at his hair and skin.

“Fuck, Alexander,” he moans. Alec tries to take him deeper, and he bucks up by a fraction. He curses when Alec chokes. “Careful, darling. You’re perfect. You feel like heaven, angel.”

Alec moans, sending delicious vibrations down his cock. It’s not long before he comes. He warns Alec, but he’s stubborn and doesn’t stop. He curses and squeezes Alec’s hand. “Alec.”

He comes down his throat, and Alec pulls off and covers his mouth. Magnus reaches behind for the tissues and gives him a handful. Alec spits into it.

“Let’s go wash up,” Magnus says kindly. “I want to hold you. You can’t get out of that.”

Alec goes to the restroom and washes his mouth and hands. Magnus washes his hands, and then gets under the covers. Alec joins him, pressing into his side and kisses his cheek. Magnus studies the curve of his face, his sharp cheekbones, his full lips, and thick eyebrows.

“Did you know your eyes actually have three different colors?” Magnus asks softly, so the world can’t hear them. For now, it’s only the two of them.

Alec brings his face closer. Magnus wraps a loose arm around him. “What colors are there?” he asks, voice even quieter.

“Blue and green mostly,” Magnus describes. “The brown spreads around your pupils like a star. No wonder all my wishes have come true.”

Alec’s mouth twists, holding back his laugh. “Is this what you usually do? You tell all your other clients these cheesy things?”

“No, only you,” Magnus says, voice slurred. The bed is more comfortable today, and he closes his eyes.

“Lucky me.”

The room has a calm silence to it. The fan is going above them, and the moonlight is peeking through the blinds. Magnus inhales, feeling that tranquility he normally has a tough time reaching.

Magnus groggily opens his eyes when a hand cups his face. Alec is watching him with an indecipherable expression. “You’re beautiful.”

Magnus swears his heart is going to burst out of his chest. It’s painful and heavy, and it echoes down to his toes. There’s a lump in his throat.

“I don’t plan on doing anything besides cuddling when you’re here,” Alec reveals truthfully. “I really don’t. I… I don’t know. You make me want more.”

He wasn’t just talking about them. Magnus can see he was looking past the four walls around them. Magnus gestures for him to turn around, and he does so happily. Magnus wraps around him, greedy for the intoxicating smell of his soap.

“How do you do that?” Alec asks. He sounds so small.

“How do I do what?” Magnus asks, trying to calm his loud, insufferable heart.

How do you do that? How did you become an integral piece in my life? How did you make me want to unlock that hidden part of myself and show you? How do you make me smile without being in the same room?

“Nevermind.” Alec clears his throat. “I think you could be closer.”

Magnus laughs and flings his leg over Alec. He presses his face in his neck. “Is this better?”

Alec’s smile is small, but it could stop the earth from spinning if he wanted.

“Perhaps.”

Chapter Text

Magnus adjusts the mask covering his eyes and cheekbones. The club was getting busy, and the dj was playing all the cliche halloween songs. Monster Mash was playing for the tenth time, and Magnus got here two hours ago. The people are getting drunker, and each time the song plays, another group of drunk teenagers and adults bump into each other and fall to the floor laughing.

The drinks are good, and the company is better. He’s come here since he went to high school and scored a faked ID. The music is good on any other normal night. They do a real good job decorating for holidays, and Magnus desperately needed a day off. For a good portion of his life, this place was his home away from home.

Plus, he always loves a party.

“In another life, you’d make an exceptional vampire,” he teases his brooding friend at a table they snatched. Raphael was wearing fake fangs, pale white makeup, and a trail of fake blood from the corner of his mouth.

“As long as I could kill people who annoy me,” Raphael quips with a smirk.

Magnus hands him a drink. “Maia promised two of these could knock you off your feet.”

“Stellar,” Raphael deadpans. He slides the glass back. “I’m happy with my beer. You need someone to make sure you get home safely.”

Magnus smiles wide, already feeling the effects of the alcohol. “This is why you’re my best friend.”

“You have your moments,” Raphael says dispassionately. “The only decent person in the sort of business we do.”

“And I told you we should stick together,” Magnus says, remembering the memory fondly. “Even when you’re sulky and moody. You’re the one who stopped me from dying my hair red.”

“You would’ve looked like an idiot.”

“You pretend to not care about fashion, yet you give amazing advice.”

“I know when something looks bad,” Raphael disagrees. “You dare ask me what to wear one day, I’m deleting your phone number.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Magnus laughs. He missed his friend. He doesn’t see him as often as he likes. They’re both busy with their own jobs, and Raphael spends much of his free time with his friend Simon. Raphael calls him a menace because he shows up randomly and wedges himself into his life. Magnus doesn’t dare admit the friendship seems to be helping him. Raphael has been in a better mood lately, and Magnus only had to ask him once to join him tonight.

Magnus is confident Simon is the one blowing up Raphael’s phone. Magnus ignores it because he’s a good friend. Instead, he focuses on Raphael and catching up. They talk for thirty minutes before Raphael finishes off his drink in one long sip.

“I know all the names of your clients, and I know when you’re holding out on me,” Raphael tells him. “You’ve skirted around your Wednesday appointments this entire night. Are you going to avoid talking about that one special client of yours?”

Magnus clutches his chest. “I don’t keep anything from you.” Raphael gives him a long look, and Magnus sighs. “Maybe he’s not interesting. We shouldn’t talk about clients anyway.”

Which is true. They shouldn’t talk about their clients due to client confidentiality, but they’re friends. Friends are rare in their line of work, and it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Raphael wouldn’t say a word and neither would Magnus. It also comes in handy to know what names to look out for. A safety precaution.

“I think you find him the most interesting,” Raphael declares. “There’s a reason why you bought him a mug, flowers, and gave him a first date experience.”

“You and Catarina are a duo of chatterboxes,” Magnus says through clenched teeth.

“Magnus.” Raphael pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’re setting yourself up for heartbreak. You’re putting too much into this.”

Magnus taps his fingers on the table. “I’m fine. I am fully aware of the lines. I’m not new to this.”

“You haven’t been this stupid before,” Raphael ridicules. “You’re lying to yourself if you think you’re not falling into some sick fantasy world.”

“I’m not Pretty Woman,” Magnus tells him. “You don’t need to remind me. Once he’s done with me, my Wednesdays will be empty again for a hobby. Maybe pottery?”

“Unless you’re buying it, you couldn’t be less interested in pottery,” Raphael snorts.

Magnus chugs the rest of his whiskey. “I need another.”

“You need to get a grip,” Raphael snaps. “This is not going to end well with you.”

“You’re so sweet for being worried over me,” Magnus says. “I’ll be right back.”

Magnus gets another whiskey, and he lets his mind get too foggy to worry about anything. Everything Raphael told him are all things Magnus told himself. He stopped being blind a while ago. If Alec decides it’s time to end their contract, Magnus will respect his decision.

How he’ll feel or what he’ll do afterwards go beyond his imagination. He can’t begin to think about it. It was a road he didn’t want to look at or even acknowledge.

Magnus finishes his second drink and orders another. He proceeds to do what he usually does.

He thinks of Alec.

Magnus curled under the covers with Alec weeks ago. Alec told him his birthday was that week, and his brother was taking him out on a trip. They were going hiking a little ways out of town.

Highly offended Alec hadn’t shared this news to him until now and it was too late to get him something, Magnus insisted they baked homemade muffins. They didn’t have ingredients for anything else. Alec found the muffin mixture far in his pantry. The expiration date was worrisome, but Magnus baked them anyway. Alec tried to help to Magnus’s dismay. Then Magnus lifted him by the back of his thighs and sat him on the counter.

Alec flushed - the fight gone instantly - and subtly put his hands on his lap. Magnus winked and kissed his nose.

They ate strawberry muffins and watched a movie on the couch. Magnus pointed out a song, and Alec told him he didn’t know it. Magnus gaped at him.

They spent the rest of the evening curled towards each other in bed. Alec tucked his head in Magnus’s neck, and his arms wrapped tight around his middle. Magnus put his face in Alec’s hair. They shared a pair of earbuds, and Magnus played Alec all the songs he should have listened to by now.

 

We were searching for reasons

To play by the rules

But we quickly found

It was just for fools

Now through all of this sorrow

We’ll be riding high

And the truth of the matter

I never let you go, let you go

 

“I didn’t know you’d be here.”

Magnus stiffens. “Thought you’d be celebrating with all the other witches dancing naked in the woods.”

Camille giggles and leans in, showing off her cleavage. “You say the sweetest things.”

“Your tricks don’t work on me anymore,” Magnus says with feign carelessness. He gestures to her red slim dress. “Don’t tell me this outfit is for me? That’s pathetic, even for you.”

Camille’s poisonous smile doesn’t falter. “Of course it isn’t. Your eyes are set on someone else more untouchable.”

“I understand you speak to ghosts and the monsters in the shadows,” Magnus drawls. “But you heard wrong.”

“You always fall for the innocent act,” Camille taunts. She leans on the bar, and it takes a lot to avoid her icy gaze. “Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re going to be anything more than a toy. An exploring tool to see what he truly wants.”

“I don’t know where you heard this information,” Magnus says with barely contained wrath. “But for once, mind your business. You’re invading the privacy of my client. This has nothing to do with you. You don’t own me, Camille. This foolish game you have toying with me isn’t going to work.”

“Word gets around in our neck of the woods. There are eyes everywhere, and secrets can be bought,” Camille says. “You don’t deserve him. He’s money. He came from money. You may live in a fancy apartment and have your own valet, but you will never be the same as him. You will never be on the same level, and he knows that.”

Magnus refuses to sense the sting of her words. He won’t let Camille see she’s getting to him. “It’s been a pleasure seeing you, but I have to go literally anywhere else.”

“Magnus.” Raphael gives Camille a simmering glare. “It’s awful to see you, as always. This party is over.”

“On the contrary, I believe it just started,” Camille says, amused. She looks over Magnus’s shoulder, and Magnus follows her gaze.

A familiar blonde man walks in dressed like Superman. His long cape hangs behind him, and he wears tall red boots. Behind him, a taller man enters the room. Magnus can spot those broad shoulders and thick biceps out of a crowd. Here, though, he isn’t wearing scrubs or sweats. He swapped it out for a thick black jacket and shirt. His skin is pale as a ghost, painted in white with a line of black stitches stretching across his face. The area around his eyes and eyelids are painted black, and his hair is spiked in gel.

Magnus is grateful he’s wearing a mask. “Raphael, let’s go.”

“Oh,” Camille croons. Her smile promises chaos of tricks and devilish games. “Forbidden fruit is here.”

“Can’t do much meddling if we’re gone,” Raphael says.

“Don’t challenge her,” Magnus tells him begrudgingly.

The two of them run out with the sound of Camille laughing loud over the music.

 

****************

 

“Don’t get any ideas,” Magnus warns. “Sex in a bathtub is more fun in theory than reality.”

Alec grins and starts to remove his clothes. He throws his shirt to the floor. A sexy act, indeed, when a partner is confident in their body. Candles are perched on the bathroom counter, windowsill, and the bathtub. The setting sun shines through the window, and the music playing from the living room adds to the calm, intimate ambience.

“This is romantic,” Alec says.

Magnus doesn’t hide his appreciative stare, especially when Alec blushes so pretty. He removes his clothes, ignoring the way Alec watches him in return. He gets in first, and he watches Alec’s adorable face as he stands completely naked. Magnus drinks him in, eyes trailing over his body, desperate to properly adore each part of him. He is pleasantly surprised at his set of abs, and his thick muscular thighs make Magnus’s mouth water. Alec joins him, and he sits snugly between Magnus’s legs.

“I love a man with chest hair,” Magnus says hotly in his ear. The tub was big enough for them and then some, as it took up almost a third of the bathroom. One of the advantages of having the most expensive apartment with the most square feet.

Alec chuckles. “Bubbles and candles. It’s putting all those romance movies into one.”

Magnus kisses his neck, delighted when Alec tilts his head. “The holidays are coming up. I’m sure you’re busy, and I have some trips planned. Figured I’d have you all to myself tonight.”

Alec grunts, already too far gone in the warm bath and the scented candles soothing his normally frazzled nerves. “Where are you going?”

“Tokyo,” Magnus says gleefully. “Tokyo is luxurious during Christmas time. All the pretty LED light shows at Marunouchi Illumination and the Setagaya Boroichi flea market. I’m going to go to the Tokyo Tower and stay at the Mandarin Oriental.”

Alec goes stiffly quiet, and his voice is flat. “I’m going to Paris.”

Magnus kisses his jaw and wraps his arms around him. “You don’t sound very excited.”

“Would it be childish of me to say I dreamt of spending the holidays with you?”

Magnus cups Alec’s face, turning him to face him. His beautiful eyes track him like a beacon. He pecks him on the lips. “As long as you don’t hold it against me if I were to say I would cross mountains to see you smile under Christmas lights.”

Alec holds all his thoughts and feelings on his face. They’re painted on in delicate brush strokes and shine like diamonds. Magnus has traveled to numerous countries and saw much of the beauty it offers. He’s seen multiple world-famous paintings and sculptures, but none of them live up to his Alexander. All of them combined wouldn’t match the exquisite and radiant of his soul.

Magnus would crush worlds to make Alec smile like he’s doing now. He gets a lap full of Alec, and they spend the next hour kissing and whispering small, meaningless things. Greedy hands roam over soft, heated skin and muscles. They’re both hard and completely entranced with each other, but there’s no rush during their time.

Magnus washes Alec’s hair with a tenderness he hasn’t shown to anyone in a long time. He uses the shampoo he loves, and he washes it out with a kiss to his forehead. Alec goes to return the favor, and Magnus stops him.

“My hair is one of my best features.”

Alec smirks and waits patiently. Magnus sighs. “Fine.”

Alec washes his hair with the sort of care Magnus is not used to. He’s gentle and massages from his head to his neck to his shoulders. He lets out a moan after a deep dig, and Alec’s chest shakes with laughter.

“You didn’t want sex at the start of this,” Magnus says. “But look at you making me moan.”

“You don’t need it to feel good,” Alec replies easily. “There are things far more intimate and physically satisfying.”

Magnus switches places to sit on his lap. “Are you trying to teach me something, my darling? Because I can make you feel so good,” he purrs.

“You make me feel good no matter what you do,” Alec tells him, and the honesty tugs at Magnus’s chest. Alec wears his heart on his sleeve. Learning about Alec, Magnus is surprised he can lie to his parents when he so obviously hates lying.

“Let’s get out of the bath, angel.”

Magnus dries Alec’s messy black hair with his towel. Alec’s arms slither around his waist, and a finger roams across his skin. Magnus squirms at the tickling.

“I wish I brought makeup,” Magnus says in disappointment. He washed his face in the bath, and his face is naked. “You know how long it took me to become an expert in drawing a cat eye?”

“I don’t know why you think you need it,” Alec says, nonchalant and unaware of the sputtering of Magnus’s heart. He looks at him through the mirror. “You’re beautiful the way you are.”

Magnus kisses his cheek and tugs Alec out of the bathroom. He leads them to the door to go to the extra bedroom, but Alec stops him. He brings him to his bed and pulls Magnus on top of him.

“Maybe call me around Christmas time.” Alec maneuvers Magnus between his legs. Their two towels are the only clothes between them. “We might miss a few Wednesdays. I’d like to talk to you. Please?”

“Consider it done.” Magnus’s voice turns sultry. “What would we talk about? What you’re wearing?”

He’s teasing. Alec grins, and he arches his back. He unties Magnus’s towel. He then reaches for his nightstand drawer and brings out a little blue bottle. “You could tell me how to touch myself.”

“Are you sure?” Magnus asks. They talked about it in the bath, and they spent a little too long washing and cleaning.

“Yes,” Alec says determinedly. “I want to know what it’s like.”

Another first. Magnus is collecting them like treasure.

Magnus kisses him and Alec kisses him with an overwhelming amount of gentle passion. Magnus trails kisses down his body, paying close attention to his neck and nipples. He savors the pretty sounds Alec makes and his body’s reaction to every touch and kiss.

He kisses the lines of his body, and Alec hitches his breath when he takes his cock in his mouth. He bobs his head and runs his tongue down his shaft. Alec tugs gently on his wet hair. Magnus situates a pillow underneath Alec.

Magnus uncaps the lube and wets his fingers. Alec watches him, pupils dilated and profound want radiated off him.

“You want me to tell you how to touch yourself?” Magnus whispers.

“Yes,” Alec whimpers.

“No,” Magnus purrs. He intertwines their fingers to prove his point. He runs the tip of his tongue along Alec’s ear, and the other man trembles. Magnus holds him steady. “I would ask you to list five things you deserve.”

Alec tenses. “What?”

“It’s not hard,” Magnus soothes. Another kiss to his ear. “You deserve everything. I want you to name five things.”

Alec looks ready to argue, and Magnus distracts him with a kiss.

Something indistinguishable flashes on his face. “My job.”

Magnus slides a finger inside his hole. Alec gasps and Magnus kisses the side of his mouth. He lazily strokes Alec’s cock, and he watches him squirm with heated eyes. “Next.”

Alec swallows, struggling to catch his breath. “My sister.”

Magnus mouths at Alec’s chest, inserting the second finger inside his hot body. Alec tenses, so he drags his tongue over both nipples. Alec full on trembles underneath him. “Next.”

Alec whines and wraps his right leg behind Magnus’s thigh to hold him close. “M-My friends.”

Magnus doesn’t add another finger. He adds more lube to his fingers and sinks them inside Alec deeper and with more purpose. He searches for that special place, and Alec shouts and his cock hardens.

“Next,” Magnus breathes into his parted gasping mouth. Alec’s eyes are dark and glassy, and he meets Magnus’s gaze with stark infatuation and need. He looks at Magnus like he sees every part of him, and Magnus forgets for a moment what they are doing.

Magnus stops what he’s doing, and Alec whines and that stubbornness Magnus finds alluring comes out. He tries to chase after the sensation, but Magnus moves with him. He clicks his tongue. “Next, Alexander.”

Alec shakes his head, too overwhelmed to think. Magnus shows him mercy. “I can help you. Would you like me to?”

“Please,” Alec begs.

Magnus kisses his jaw. “To be happy.”

A shadow falls over Alec’s eyes. “Bane, I don’t-“

“Say it,” Magnus whispers. He adds his fingers again, and Alec instantly chases his pleasure. “Be a good boy and say it.”

Alec’s eyelashes are dark and long, and they’re slightly wet from frustrated tears threatening to form and fall. “Please make me come. I want to come with your hands on me.”

“If you’re trying to get on my good side, try again,” Magnus teases. “We’re almost done, my darling. You’re almost there. Say it.”

Alec rolls his hips with zero coordination, moans rising every time Magnus’s fingers get deeper and thrust faster, and Magnus could probably come from this sight alone. “T-To be happy.”

“That’s right,” Magnus croons. He thinks about what he’s going to make Alec say next. “I knew you could do it.”

Magnus doesn’t get the chance to say the next one. Alec beats him to it.

“You.”

Magnus stills. He looks at him and forces a laugh. “Me? Of course you do. I could’ve told you that.”

Alec searches his face, catching his tone and the change in Magnus’s demeanor. He nudges Magnus’s hand from between his legs, and he sits up with sudden alertness. Magnus goes to add space, and Alec prevents him with a hand. “Bane, are you alright?”

Magnus clears his throat, visibly uncomfortable. “I didn’t expect you to list me.”

Alec licks his lips, and there’s a glow to his smile. “I didn’t realize until now that I deserve you. You helped me learn.”

Magnus is lost, and a part of his mind goes to a dark place. “Anyone with coin can get a prostitute.”

Alec frowns, stunned at his callous tone. Magnus goes to move, but he doesn’t let him. He caresses Magnus’s face, kindly forcing him to look. “You can’t tell me that’s all you think you are.”

Magnus says nothing.

“Where’s your mind going?” Alec asks softly. “Bane, please listen to me. You are so much more than your job. It’s impossible to describe you with one word. Trust me, I’ve tried. There isn’t a single word that encapsulates your beauty inside and out.”

Magnus has fought off his insecurities and won in the past. It’s been a long time since someone made him overthink and clam up. He’s proud and happy with his life. It doesn’t matter how people think of him. Their problems with him slide off his back.

But Camille’s silvery voice hacks at his fortresses, created fissures and cracks, and she does what she always does. Drives him mad and corrupts his normally secure mental barriers. His confidence crumbles around Camille.

You’re too much, Magnus. Who dates a hooker?

Magnus leans into Alec’s palm.

“You’re incredible at what you do, but that’s not why I’m so comfortable with you or why I trust you more than most people in my life.” Alec sets his shoulders, eyes blazing. “It’s because you’re warm, and you’re wise. Y-You’re generous, and you’re brave. When you walked into my apartment for the first time, there was a spark about you that lights everyone around you. Sex worker or not - it doesn’t matter. You made me feel like I wasn’t some strange, incompetent man in his twenties who never fought for what I wanted.”

Magnus shakes his head. “You have fought for what you wanted.”

Alec rolls his eyes, laughing under his breath. “Is reassuring me the only thing you care about? I’m trying to reassure you.”

“I’m sorry,” Magnus says. “I saw my ex yesterday, and she messes with my head every time.”

“You don’t ever need to be sorry,” Alec replies seriously. He pulls Magnus down to lay on the pillows, and he’s pretty put together for someone who was moments away from an intense orgasm. “Do you need to list five things you deserve?”

Magnus chuckles, and Alec smiles affectionately at him. “I deserve an expensive glass of wine in a beautiful city without a care in the world.”

The affection turns exasperated fondness. Alec shakes his head, features softening into something somber. “Are you going with a client?”

“I am,” Magnus reveals. “He takes me to a new country every year. Each more glamorous than the other.”

Alec smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He turns around, and Magnus automatically pulls him in close. He kisses under his ear, and Alec hums, satisfied. Alec intertwines their hands. “I’ll miss you.”

He says the declaration so softly that Magnus barely caught it. “I’ll see you as soon as I’m back.”

We have forever, Magnus wants to say. He doesn’t. Alec doesn’t like lying, and the words weigh like stones at the bottom of his stomach.

“You’ll call me?” Alec asks with a fragile voice.

Magnus leans over him to get to his lips to kiss. “You’ll have to block my number the way I’ll call you constantly.”

Alec huffs a laugh. “I don’t think I can afford the international fees.”

“Okay, rich boy. Send me the bill.”

Chapter Text

Magnus saunters through the crowd, taking in the beautifully elegant chandelier above him. The little lightbulbs and silver handles reflect the light, sending stars around the room. Christmas wreaths are hung on the walls and pillars. The ceiling is layered with rainbow lights, and there is a large glass window for the moon and the stars to be on complete display.

Jeremy’s mansion is giant and full of wonder. Magnus shares his expensive taste. One of the few things they had in common. He loves to host parties, and he sends an invitation to anyone who can read. The man loves attention. Magnus can’t fault him for it.

Magnus checks his gold pocket watch. The sun will be rising soon. The floor is covered with sleeping people. Most of them will wake with a splitting headache, hungover with wine stains on their fancy dresses and suits.

A loud laugh captures Magnus’s attention. There are few people awake, including Jeremy reminiscing on his lavish couch with his dear friends. Jeremy gestures for him, and Magnus plasters a smile and joins him. Jeremy pulls him to stand between his legs, hands wandering over his waist and chest.

“You have too many clothes on, Bane,” the man grumbles. His movements are slagging, and he’s slurring his words.

“You have too much alcohol in your system,” Magnus admonishes. “I don’t play with boys who got drunk off their daddy’s alcohol cabinet.”

Jeremy pouts and wraps his arms around Magnus’s waist. Magnus pats his hair soothingly. Jeremy’s skin is pale and sweaty, and Magnus doubts he’ll be awake in an hour.

Jeremy drank copious amounts of whiskey and bourbon. His Santa hat is barely staying on his head. His chest is on display through his red jacket. His black boots are discarded on the other side of the room under the Christmas tree.

“I’m a bad boy,” Jeremy croons. His brown eyes droop in exhaustion. “You know this. That’s what you like about me. You love punishing me.”

Magnus cups his face, and Jeremy bites at his palm. “You’re wrong. Bad boys are reckless and irritatingly attention-seeking. I love a good boy.”

Jeremy’s eyes are closed, asleep and snoring. Magnus carefully lays him down close to his laughing friends. They’re drunk too, and they will fall asleep with the sunrise.

Magnus goes to the bar cart and makes himself a glass. He walks through the halls to find everyone has fallen asleep. He finds the study room where Jeremy does his meetings. He locks the door and goes over to where his laptop is. He logs in and takes out his second phone. He signs in and waits.

Thirty minutes to seven am. His phone rings, and he answers. “Hello, Alexander.”

He can see his sweet Alec’s smile through the phone. “Hey, Bane.”

“I’m surprised you’re awake. You told me your mother wakes you the second the sun rises for the festivities.”

“She makes up for it by having my favorite coffee on tap,” Alec replies. A moment passes. “You didn’t think I’d call you?”

Magnus fidgets with his vest. “I wouldn’t have blamed you. You don’t get a break often, and you have all your traditions with your siblings.”

“My brother got drunk during the Christmas movie marathon he starts every year, and my sister is trying and failing to make a gingerbread house,” Alec deadpans, though his amusement rings clear in his voice. “She can’t make hot chocolate. I don’t know why she insists on trying to make a house every year.”

“Be nice to your sister,” Magnus chastises gently. “Little sisters are supposed to drive you insane.”

“You’re an only child. How would you know?”

“Not by blood,” Magnus says. “I have a woman in my life who drives me mad like any older sister would.”

Alec chuckles. “She’s in charge of elf on a shelf tomorrow morning. She bought a lady one, and they’re doing doggie style in the kitchen. Mom is going to go nuts.”

Magnus laughs. “See? It’s a balance. Figured you’d get that.”

There’s a shuffle of movement on the other end. Magnus guesses he’s laying down in his bed. If only he could create a portal to travel right to him. He would see his smile and the little blush on his cheeks.

“She won’t stop asking who I call late at night,” Alec says. “She steals my phone to see, but she hasn’t guessed my password.”

Magnus hums and sits back in his chair. “Tell me, darling, what’s my name on your phone? ‘Booty call?’”

Alec clears his throat and laughs. “Of course not. You’re under ‘Call me for a good time.’ Hoping she’ll think it’s a trick.”

“That’s better than your name in the system,” Magnus says easily. “You’re ’Certified Hugger.’”

“Oh?” Magnus hears the grin. “Am I?”

“No,” Magnus denies. “Cat normally calls you my boy.”

Alec doesn’t answer right away, and Magnus waits nervously. Alec’s voice sounds choked. “That’s what she calls me? Your boy?”

“More like my sweet boy,” Magnus flirts. “With a gorgeous blush.”

“I guess it could be worse,” Alec replies in a low whisper. “I like it.”

Magnus tilts his head. He blames the glass of whiskey he’s sipping when he asks, “You like being my sweet boy?”

Two weeks since he saw Alec. Two phone calls. Neither one they’ve remotely discussed anything sex-related. Magnus flirts and Alec blushes, but sex talk stays out of the conversation. Sex is not a priority here - it never has. Alec made it clear at the beginning, and Magnus has fallen into the tranquility of it. Emotional intimacy and vulnerability ties them together, and it bleeds through their calls. Nothing has changed simply because they only talk on the phone.

If the air gets sexually-charged, it’s because there’s something about being vulnerable with another person you find attractive. Magnus sees Alec, and he wants to touch and hold. They touch through speaking, and it’s gotten to the point that it’s not enough anymore. Magnus wants to touch and admire every part of Alec. He wants to kiss and caress his warm skin until he can’t go anywhere without feeling Alec on his lips and fingers.

Magnus was overwhelmed when Alec laid back on his sheets and told Magnus he wanted him to teach him how to touch himself. Alec responded so beautifully to his fingers, and Magnus would’ve seen him fall apart if he hadn’t gotten caught up by Alec stating he deserved him. His insecurities took hold, and he ruined the moment.

Though maybe it was a good thing. He has a terrible feeling if Alec lets him have everything - touch and feel every part of him - Magnus might lose any sense of hope of moving on from Alec.

The thought terrifies him.

“I do,” Alec confirms with an unsteady voice. “I really do.”

“Have you been a sweet boy to yourself?” Magnus asks. “Treat yourself well? You said you have a thick pillow. Do you hold it like you hold me?”

A low whine and Alec’s breathing is heavy. “Yes, I do. I think of you every night.”

“I dream of you in my arms,” Magnus says with his sultry tone. “Holding you close to my chest. My face in your neck, smelling your cologne. You smell like pine and snow, and frankly my darling, you’re ruining the holidays for me. I smell you every time I leave the house.”

Alec’s breathing is shaky. “Bane, please.”

“If you’re going to make yourself come talking to me,” Magnus says. “Don’t touch your pretty cock until you admire every part of your body. Your thick arms, hairy chest, and your neck. The soft skin of your inner thighs. Dote and cherish yourself while I can’t.”

He talks Alec through it. He tells him where to touch and caress. He tells him his favorite parts of him, and Alec is too far gone to realize he names all of him.

Magnus unbuttons his pants and pulls his cock out. Something he hasn’t done in years. He doesn’t come during any of his phone calls. He’s never been turned on enough to bother, and he’s learned to fake it perfectly.

“Will you come too?” Alec asks. “You said you don’t, but maybe I-“

“I am, sweetheart,” Magnus soothes. “How could I not when I’m talking to you?”

He comes to the sound of Alec’s deep moan of his name. His last name. He wants so badly to give him his first name, so he can moan that one instead. He doesn’t, and he listens to Alec’s pretty moan as he comes.

Magnus grabs a tissue to clean up. “I want to hold you. Trap you to the bed.”

There’s a rustling of clothes. Alec must be changing. “If I challenge you, would you hold it against me?”

Magnus laughs softly. “I can’t hang up, darling. You have to do it.”

I want to memorize the shape of you until it’s all I can see when I close my eyes.

“I took your jacket,” Alec admits. Magnus knew. He’s the one who left it. “It doesn’t smell like you anymore.”

“I’ll have to rectify that,” Magnus says. “Keep a pile of my clothes in your bottom drawer.”

“I’ll clear a drawer out for you,” Alec says quietly. “Or two.”

Magnus smiles. He imagines a future, and wonders what Alec’s version looks like. He eyes the time. “Merry Christmas, Alexander.”

“Merry Christmas, Bane.”

 

************

 

Jeremy tugs Magnus by his pants. A very apparent tent presses into his ass. Magnus shakes his head. “You are not fucking me outside.”

“We can turn off the lights,” Jeremy grunts. “I can grab all the blankets. It’ll feel like a bed by the time I’m done with it.”

“No,” Magnus repeats more tightly. Jeremy kisses his neck, and Magnus adds space between them. “I have a business call to make. You need to pack, by the way.”

Jeremy groans and gives in. “You’re right. The private jet will be ready for us in two hours.”

Magnus smiles. “Make sure you get my champagne. I will demand an emergency landing.”

“I know you would.” Jeremy grins. “You’re so sexy, Bane.”

“Aren’t I?” Magnus purrs. He nibbles at his jaw. “Go pack. I’d hate to have to punish you.”

“Do you want me to go, or not?” Jeremy teases. Magnus shoves him with a snicker. The man likes it rough, and he does what his client likes. He enjoys it too, especially at the beginning, but his kinks have changed lately.

The fireworks are still going on, as well as the nightclubs and street parties. He leaves the deck to go inside to escape the music. Jeremy went downstairs to his office. Magnus retrieves his laptop from his closet and logs in. He turns on his second phone and sits comfortably in his chair.

Fifteen minutes before seven am. His phone goes off.

“Hello, Alexander.”

“Hey, Bane,” Alec greets warmly. “How are you?”

“Enjoying the fireworks outside my window,” Magnus muses. He pulls out his personal phone and opens an app. “About to pack for Greece. There’s a grand New Year’s party. I’m excited for the warmer temps. I bought a new outfit, and I can’t wait to show it off.”

“That’s good,” Alec replies. Magnus smirks at his response, and he scrolls through the profile on his screen. The man knows nothing about clothes, even though half his closet costs more than some people’s entire wardrobe. “You look beautiful in everything you wear.”

A tsunami of emotions washes over Magnus, leaving him breathless and grounded. Such a few words on Alec’s tongue shakes him completely. He’s not in Tokyo, but in Alec’s apartment and in his bed holding Alec in his arms.

“You really know how to make a man feel special,” Magnus says cheekily. “How are you spending this wild night of fireworks and cliche goals for the new year?”

“Well, my brother burned both his hands,” Alec says with the fondness of an elder brother. “Burned one hand, shouted, and proceeded to grab a firework with the other.”

Magnus laughs. “I see you took all the brain cells. Good thing he has a stunning nurse to put him back together.”

“Mom wasn’t there to notice I was a little too good at first aid and applying a bandage,” Alec murmurs. “His girlfriend was pissed. She told him he deserved what he got for being so reckless.”

“I like this girl,” Magnus says, pleased.

“She grew on me,” Alec grumbles. Magnus chuckles. “She’ll keep him safe when I can’t.”

“And your lovely sister?”

“My sister is making her boyfriend chase her around,” Alec says with a faint huff. “She likes to play hard to get, even though they’ve been dating for a year. He’s currently talking to a group of women - more like they’re talking to him. I’m sure she’ll come out from where she’s hiding to stake her claim on him at midnight.”

“Sexy.”

“Uh - no. Don’t say that,” Alec complains. “I don’t need to think about that.”

“She knows you’re talking to someone, Alexander. She’d be surprised to learn it’s a sex worker.”

“She would be shocked, but then offended I didn’t tell her,” Alec replies. “She always wants to be in my business.”

“That’s crazy. I do too.”

Alec chokes out a laugh. “Are you drunk?”

“Pleasantly buzzed,” Magnus confirms. “Not drunk. I could drive a car perfectly fine.”

“I’ll take your word on it,” Alec says. A moment of silence passes. “How was your New Year’s eve?”

Magnus glances at his locked door. “I am having a busy, yet wonderful time. So many people to meet. Nothing too exciting like anyone injuring themselves with dangerous explosives.”

“Busy with what?”

Magnus circles his whiskey with his finger. “People pay for the pleasure of my company.”

“Oh.” A beat. “Right. Is it… Are you enjoying it?”

Magnus grins. “Alexander, are you asking if I’m enjoying having sex for money?”

“Er, no,” Alec stammers.

Magnus drums his fingers on his bed. “Are you worried about me?”

“Would it be naive to simply ask if you’re safe? No one is hurting you?”

Magnus’s heart tugs in his chest. There are times like this one that reminds Magnus how innocent Alec is in certain aspects. It makes him want to wrap him in blankets and protect him. Alec is an adult, though, and he repeatedly reminds Magnus of that fact.

“No one is hurting me, darling,” Magnus says. “I can protect myself. I’ve completed many defense classes. I have muscles under my Prada suits.”

“I’m glad,” Alec replies softly, almost breathless in a relieved sort of way.

“I am touched you care, darling,” Magnus says genuinely. “I promise I will come see you the moment we’re in the same city.”

“You better,” Alec says. He’s quiet again. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Alexander. Do you have any resolutions?”

“Probably to fight off my mother until she’s forced to accept my decisions,” Alec says sourly. “Somehow protect my siblings from the aftermath of her fury.”

“Your siblings are adults,” Magnus reminds him. “They want you happy too.”

“She said the same thing.”

“Smart woman,” Magnus compliments smugly. “Make your happiness a priority. You can’t live your life making your mother happy.”

“Yeah.” That was the closest to an agreement Alec will make. “What are your resolutions?”

“I’m not sure,” Magnus hums. “Visit another country, buy another closet, or perhaps start a clothing line. It’s shocking to see how little rich people know about fashion. They see a brand name and assume it goes with everything.”

Alec laughs. “And that would make you happy?”

Fireworks light up the sky in front of him. They expand across his window, and they fade into the rising sun. The celebration is finally coming to a close, and soon Magnus will have to hang up and pack his things to set off to another destination. Another party. Another house full of strangers.

Magnus finishes off his drink, and it sends a deeper buzz through his foggy mind. “I’ve been doing this for a long time. I own a house in Costa Rica. I haven’t stayed in one place in a while. Perhaps this summer, that’s where I’ll be.”

“As long as you’re happy,” Alec murmurs, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

Magnus supposes it could be. “It seems happiness is out of reach for the both of us. We need to try harder.”

“You make me happy,” Alec says. “When you decide to go for it, maybe mail me a letter? I want to hear from you, but only if you want to.”

Don’t forget about me. I want to be in your life, even if it’s just a piece of paper.

“Should I send it to your apartment or the hospital?” Magnus asks.

You’ll fight for your life. It won’t look the same, but it’ll be yours.

Alec’s smile shines through. “The hospital.”

“Consider it done,” Magnus promises. He glances at the clock. “Happy New Year, Alexander.”

“Happy New Year, Bane.”

 

************

 

Magnus stares down at his phone, and he finishes off his whiskey. He locks his phone and plugs it in for the night, and he makes his way over to the mini bar to make another drink.

He should’ve never clicked on Alec’s profile. He found it on accident a month ago. He didn’t hit follow because he’s not an idiot, but he checks his profile every so often to stay in the loop. They spent the holidays in different countries, so they haven’t been in the same room for a couple of weeks. It only made sense to Magnus’s sanity to check in on Alec and see if he was doing okay. It was perfectly innocent, and he told Cat he’s not a stalker. He’s a concerned friend who knows Alec is spending a lot of time with his abusive mother. It’s only fair for him to make sure his friend was okay.

Today was the first time he clicked on the tagged photo section on Alec’s profile. Alec doesn’t post, and he hasn’t posted a story in a week. Magnus figured his siblings tagged him on their social media pages, and that was the first place he looked.

What he found instead, made him want to throw his phone in the fireplace and get drunk.

Alexander Lightwood and Lydia Branwell are celebrating their engagement on holiday. The couple are set to be married in the fall.

He shouldn’t have stalked his page. He should’ve blocked his account and left it alone. This was his fault. At the end of the day, Alec was not his. It didn’t matter how often he saw him. It didn’t matter what he said or did. It didn’t matter he memorized Alec’s weight in his arms, and how he’s painfully obsessed with his pine and snow scent. It didn’t matter that Alec had become his one safe place in this world.

Alec was never his, and it was time for him to realize that.

Lydia Branwell was a beautiful woman, and one of the top lawyers in the country. This has Alec’s mother written all over it, though it was Alec who agreed. Alec was the one who proposed, and he was the one who put that engagement ring on her finger.

He can’t blame Alec for what he did. Alec’s whole life sits in the palm of his mother’s hand. His job, his apartment, his siblings, his everything. To fight against his mother would cause chaos and a predicament that would take years to break free. Alec used his head and played it smart. Magnus can’t blame him for that.

He only wished someone would break the rules for him.

 

************

 

Alec requests Magnus to come over three days later. Magnus should’ve said no. He should’ve denied him and told him he needs to focus on his fiancee. He has a wedding to plan, and he has no time for a sex worker.

Magnus has a hard time denying Alec anything.

Alec opens the door wearing a wrinkled shirt and his sweats. His hazel eyes are big and bloodshot, and his hands tremble at his sides. The ice around Magnus melts at the sight of him, scared and visibly shaken. It physically hurts to see him this way, and he needs to fix again.

“She ambushed me,” Alec croaks. He has bags under his eyes, and he was pale as a ghost. “Someone told her I was seeing a man, and I…”

“Shh,” Magnus shushes. He pulls him in close, and Alec sticks his face in his neck and inhales. Magnus brushes his hair and rubs his back. Alec clings to him, wrapping his arms tight around Magnus’s waist like he was a buoy in the middle of the ocean. “It’s okay, my darling. Breathe for me. You’re okay.”

They hold each other for what feels like minutes, but the sun sets completely under the horizon. Magnus shushes him, and he whispers sweet nothings and reassurances. Alec eventually stops shaking, yet his grip on Magnus doesn’t falter in the slightest. Alec needs him, and nothing could pry Magnus away from him. Not even his own heart banging in his chest.

Alec pulls away to look at him, and his bloodshot eyes make the hazel shine like stars. His mouth tastes like salt when Alec kisses him. Alec shows no hindrance, deepening the kiss like Magnus has all the air he needs to breathe. Magnus kisses him back just as passionate, tasting him for the first time in so long.

Alec tugs and Magnus follows blindly. They make it to Alec’s room, Alec occasionally stopping to kiss Magnus and press him to the wall because they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Alec was desperate for him, and Magnus wanted it all. He wanted to take and give everything, and for once silence the thoughts raging in his head.

Alec lays back on the bed, and Magnus crawls on top of him. Alec works Magnus’s clothes off, eager to touch skin he hasn’t seen yet. Alec studies him, fully enraptured by the sight of naked skin. He kisses every part he can reach, and Magnus lets him because nobody has wanted so badly to kiss him before. Alec was treating him as if he was some priceless jewel he had no right of having.

Alec reaches blindly for the lube in his drawer, and he presses it to Magnus’s chest. Alec looks incredibly vulnerable right now, but he was determined and kept kissing Magnus’s arms and shoulders.

Magnus watches him closely when he inserts a finger. Alec whimpers, and his breathing staggers. His skin is sweaty, and his black hair is splayed out on the pillow like a halo. He arches for a kiss, and Magnus does as he wishes. He kisses him and whispers about how beautiful he is in his ear. One finger turns into two and then three. He calls him good and perfect, and Alec doesn’t look away from him for one second.

Magnus slowly sinks his cock inside him, and he kisses the corner of Alec’s mouth. Alec gasps, and Magnus hears the beat of his hammering heart. Magnus plants kisses all over his cheeks, nose, and jaw. He moves down to get to his neck where Alec shivers every time. The distraction works, and Magnus thrusts a little deeper.

Magnus bottoms out, and he runs soothing hands over Alec’s sides and the outside of his thighs. He strokes Alec’s half-hard cock, and Alec arches into the touch. He’s trapped between two - meeting Magnus’s thrusts or his hand. Magnus angles his hips, searching for that spot inside to make him see stars. He knows he finds it when Alec shouts in surprise and curses. He’s back to full hardness in no time, and he pulls Magnus down to kiss him.

It doesn’t take long for Alec to come. He was too overwhelmed and desperate, and Magnus has never seen someone so beautiful. “Angel,” he moans. “You bewitched me.”

Alec’s fingernails dig into Magnus’s back. He throws his head back, gasping and moaning. “Bane, fuck. I want to come. Please. I want to come.”

Magnus goes faster, thrusts deeper to see Alec squirm and pant his last name. His lips are red as roses, sinfully full and bitten.

“Magnus,” he corrects because Alec stealing his heart wasn’t enough. “It’s Magnus.”

“Magnus,” Alec moans, tasting the word on his tongue and loving the flavor.

Magnus’s heart felt too heavy in his chest. So many mistakes, and he couldn’t begin to care. Alec comes with his name on his lips, and Magnus fucks him through it. He has a deathgrip on Alec’s thighs, scared he’ll disappear, and he comes deep inside him.

He places his cheek on Alec’s sweaty shoulder. Alec plays with his hair. The room is a pleasant silence, and Magnus knows he needs to clean up. He’s far too exhausted, and he takes another minute to recover.

“Magnus,” Alec says, sounding every bit like a siren calling a captain off his ship. Magnus’s ears perk up at a mere whisper of his voice. “I love you.”

Magnus tenses. “Alexander-”

“Please don’t tell me I don’t,” Alec begs. “Don’t say I’m tired or caught in some euphoric cloud after having sex. I love you. You don’t need to say anything. You don’t need to reciprocate. I just need you to know. That’s all I want.”

Magnus doesn’t respond, and his mind tries to figure out what to say. How can he fix this? What does he need to say?

Then it clicks, and it’s almost worse.

“This sounds awfully like a goodbye,” Magnus says evenly.

“I don’t want it to be,” Alec replies, sounding every bit as tired as he is. He runs a finger along Magnus’s shoulder, and it takes a moment to realize he’s drawing a heart.

Magnus needs to leave. He needs to put on his clothes and run out the door. He needs to go get drunk at Catarina’s and listen to I told you so all night long. He can’t move. He stays lying on Alec’s front, and Alec continues to draw on his back.

“I love you,” Alec says again.

Magnus closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath and carefully situates on his side. Alec watches him, and the tears are back - or did they ever leave?

Magnus cups Alec’s face, marveling at the softness of his skin. He kisses him on the lips. “Promise to keep your resolutions. You deserve the world. Out of everything we did, I hope I taught you that.”

Alec mutely nods, and Magnus wipes at his cheeks. He wishes more than anything he had the power to take his pain. He doesn’t have any sort of magic, but for a moment with Alec he thought he did.

Magnus gets out of bed and puts on his clothes. He walks out of the room without looking back.

Chapter Text

Life was like floating in the ocean. You spent a large portion of your life learning how to float - get your head above the surface and stay there. The waves, large or small, test your strengths and limits to see how much you can stand. Some days there will be hurricanes to try to drag you down, and you have to fight like hell to get a breath of air. Some days you can float all day, where you’re at calmest and feel the sun on your face. You close your eyes and try to forget there’s an endless chasm of darkness ready to drag you down.

Magnus spent most of his time floating in an ocean of possibilities. He could do what he wanted. He was free to do what he liked. He had plenty of money and connections to travel the world and complete any goals he never believed he could meet. His wants and needs were met, and he went through a lot of hardship to get to this point. He had an endless supply of stories, good and bad lessons he learned. He didn’t regret anything, but he was quick to find out not everyone was nice and cared for you.

Everyone has an agenda of their own, and Magnus had to teach himself how to read people to stay safe. It took years to climb the ranks of sex work, and he was a standard whore until he gained the interest of one person to another. He couldn’t be picky at the beginning, but then johns turns into clients with old family money. He changed his apartment into a penthouse. Cheap bars turned into clubs that required VIP invitations. His drink of choice switched from bottom of the barrel to old whiskey and older wine.

It was a life he enjoyed and Alec ruined it. His wide caring hazel eyes and full lips bewitched him. His messy black hair Magnus yearned to always brush, and the small moles on his neck. Alec’s soft skin radiated warmth, and his shirts were tight around his broad arms and shoulders. The same arms that held Magnus to him, until Magnus chipped away at his insecurities and did what he really wanted. Magnus pulled Alec into his arms, and the poor exhausted boy fell into him.

Magnus wants to curse Alec for being so…. human. So kind and charitable and irritably selfless and self-sacrificing. Alec knew nothing but giving, and he felt so trapped in the walls his own mother suffocated him with. He felt helpless and starved for affection, and he turned to a sex worker to provide him some form of resemblance to it.

Alec gave up on his dream to have a life he wanted. He was convinced he wouldn’t have that romantic connection with someone. He spoke like it was set in stone, and he was troubled with the fact his mother will find out his lies any day. He took what he could. He became a nurse and got a job. He started seeing a sex worker every week, and Magnus tried to get him to change his mind. Alec didn’t, adamant he knew what he wanted. Once he made a decision, he stuck by it. He knew what he wanted, and he wanted Magnus. Magnus was more than happy to be with him in whatever way he required.

Alec treated him like something precious. He cared for Magnus, spoke to him like a person. He didn’t judge Magnus for what he did or talk down to him. He was curious to learn more about him, and Magnus felt seen for the first time. Alec cared so much for him, and he was worried when Magnus let it slip about someone on the phone making him uncomfortable. Alec held him and cooked for him, and Magnus was betrayed by his own fluttering heart.

Unfortunately, his decision-making was made entirely of steel. There was no changing his mind, and it was exactly why Magnus had to leave.

I love you.

“You quit?” Catarina asks.

Magnus nods and pours himself another glass. “I did. I won’t be seeing any more clients. Well, I’ll see two of them a few more times, but I’m done after that. I need to make referrals and share information for my replacement.”

Catarina looks down at her food. They were at a nice restaurant where Magnus shared the news of his decision. Cat was still wearing her scrubs, since she recently got off her shift. She is a registered nurse, and she works part-time. It was blood donation season, and she always worked those shifts. She would normally get funny looks from the people at the tables around, but since she was with Magnus, they didn’t so much as blink.

She shakes her head. “I never thought you’d quit. You loved it.”

“I did,” Magnus agrees. “But life moves on. There’s another journey for me to go on. It’s time for me to see what else the world has to offer.”

“You don’t need to lie to me,” Catarina admonishes. “I’m offended you are.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You let your heart get in the way of your job,” Catarina says with no judgment in her tone. It’s why he loves Cat. She doesn’t judge and simply acts as a shoulder to cry on. She didn’t even say ‘I told you so’. Magnus wishes she would.

Magnus sits back in his chair. He pulls out a cigar and lights it. “Is it naive to say I don’t regret it? I don’t regret a moment I spent with Alec.”

“Makes sense,” Catarina replies. “He opened your eyes to opportunities you haven’t entertained before. You weren’t thinking about emotional intimacy because you were focused on other things. It wasn’t on your radar. Alec wanted it and seeked it out. You didn’t. You saw it with him, and now you want it. It’s natural for your priorities to change. You’ve been doing this for a long time, Magnus. He showed you goals you didn’t know you wanted.”

Magnus sighs and rubs his thighs. “I suppose that’s one regret. Life was so simple before Alec.”

Amusement settles on Catarina’s features. “Nothing about you is simple.”

Magnus grins with pride. “You’re not wrong about that.”

Magnus’s phone goes off, and he spares it a glance. A social media notification, and while his heart sputters, he is fully aware he blocked everything tied to Alec. Including social media. Those he seeked out so he could block them. He found Alec’s account, and he couldn’t stop his curiosity from taking over. He doesn’t post much, mostly group pictures taken by someone else. Magnus suspects it’s Alec’s sister. If Alec is in the picture at all, he’s staring at the camera like it personally offended him.

He glanced through Alec’s tagged photos because apparently he wanted to punish himself. The first picture was of Alec and his soon-to-be wife, Lydia Branwell. Magnus blocked the profile and threw his phone. This time not in the fireplace.

“Are you ever going to be done looking pathetic?”

Magnus glances at Ragnor, looking sharp in a suit a size too large. He saunters in and plops down at the table. A server comes by to take his drink order and then disappears.

“I haven’t seen you around,” Magnus accuses. “Too busy for your best friends?”

Ragnor shrugs, looking too smug. “I disappear at the best of times. You’ll eat your words.”

Ragnor is a little gossiper. He loves knowing everything about everyone. He gives Magnus a run for his money when it comes to who has a bigger circle.

Catarina pats Ragnor’s shoulder. “I have missed you. Keeping yourself entertained while I prevent Magnus from drowning in his own misery?”

Magnus sticks his tongue out at her, and she throws him an unimpressed grin. Ragnor chuckles. “What is it now? Some poor sap who can’t handle your extravagant lifestyle?”

Magnus finishes his drink and takes a bite of his steak. “For your information, you little insufferable spy, he could handle my lifestyle just fine. He took it all in stride. I’ve never met someone so…openly curious and empathetic.”

“How empathetic can a rich boy truly be?” Ragnor asks, heavy with doubt. “People born with a silver spoon in their mouth don’t possess those capabilities to care. We all learned this.”

“Alexander is different,” Magnus declares. “He is kind, smart, and protective to a fault. His mother talks down to him - controls him and every waking move. She tried to flush out those pesky feelings and passion, but she failed. His heart is too big to crush into ash.”

“You’re a poet,” Ragnor deadpans. “It seems those hooks aren’t going anywhere if he agreed to be married off.”

“He’s trapped,” Magnus instantly says, quick to defend Alec. He doesn’t bother asking how Ragnor knows of these details. He’s a fly on every wall. “I don’t know how his mother found out about Alec seeing a man. Cat and Raphael wouldn’t say anything, and those are the only two people I told. Cat wouldn’t betray me, and Raphael doesn’t care enough.”

Ragnor’s eyes flicker from him to Cat. “You serious? Is this a serious inquiry?”

“No, I love asking questions I already know the answers to.”

The server comes over with his drink, and he takes a long sip. “First, I need to ask you your own question. Who knew about you and Alec’s situation?”

Magnus frowns. He told Raphael because he is one of his closest friends in the business. They understand each other in a way Catarina might not. Catarina manages the phone and assignments, but she doesn’t take part in Magnus’s work any deeper than that. Raphael works for the same corporation, but he is a professional cuddler. For some people, cuddling is more intimate than sex. He understands Magnus’s work the most.

He wouldn’t talk about Alec to anyone else. He was his most precious secret and besides, it was confidential. He wasn’t supposed to talk about him, but rules aside, he wouldn’t talk about him anyway. He cherished the little bubble they lived in, and he felt the need to protect Alexander from the suffering surrounding him. Those precious hours he spent with Alec are hours he wouldn’t trade for the world. The peace and tranquility he felt when he’s with Alec was something he wanted to hold close to his heart and never let go.

Cat and Raphael may be aware of Magnus’s weakness. They may know Alec means something to him, as if that statement alone could withstand the magnitude of Alec’s importance to him. He’s more than that. Alec is far deep in Magnus’s heart. He became the reason Magnus got out of bed with a skip to his step. His world centered around their Wednesday appointments, and his mind was often scattered with ideas of what to talk to Alec about or what to do. It was borderline obsession the way Alec always lived in his thoughts. His smile, his laughter, his beauty.

No one should have access to this information.

Magnus’s breath hitches, remembering a certain interaction with a demon. “Camille. I couldn’t figure out how she found out, but she somehow did.”

There are eyes everywhere, and secrets can be bought.

“Someone told,” Ragnor says. “Camille has always had her fangs in you. I bet she has someone keeping her eye on you. Someone with enough money can learn anything.”

“That bitch,” Catarina curses. “I don’t get how anyone falls for her act. She is about as vicious as a viper.”

Magnus clenches his fists. Appetite gone. Guilt boils in his lower stomach at the thought of his part in Alec’s secret life being exposed. Did Alec’s mother find out about his nurse job at the hospital? Has she found out he’s not going to law school? How much does she know?

It was his fault. It was his fault Alec was put in the spotlight. He’s the reason Alec is trapped in an engagement with a woman. He’s back under his mother’s thumb all because Magnus got selfishly attached. He shouldn’t have let his feelings come to light. He should’ve requested a replacement and let someone else be there for Alec.

His heart jumps painfully in his chest. Every muscle in his body clenches in retaliation. It was painful enough to stop seeing Alec altogether. Would it truly be worth erasing all the nights they spent together just to avoid this misery? Those hours he held Alec in his arms erased from existence. The trust that built between them, which led to Alec opening himself up to be vulnerable. They were both vulnerable, exposing their deeper feelings and insecurities.

They wouldn’t have experienced any of that if Magnus cut it off when he should’ve. If he listened to Catarina, him and Alec would’ve missed out on a chance to be truly content and fulfilled. The art of being finally seen ingrained in their bones. A happiness none of them were prepared for. Would avoiding each other truly be better?

What does it say about them now?

“Camille cares about nobody except for herself,” Magnus says. “Her goals are the only ones that matter. She doesn’t care about who gets hurt or what mayhem she starts. If she thinks things aren’t going her way, she’ll set fire to the board to fix it to her liking.”

“She is a parasite,” Ragnor adds. “She needs to be brought down. She has too much power - too many connections. She could have your beloved’s mother’s phone number. Maybe her husband gets lonely and that’s how she tattled. Rich men never have one lover.”

“Don’t I know it,” Magnus grumbles. “She has her fingers in a lot of cookie jars. I have no idea how we’re going to smoke her out.”

A large group walks into the restaurant laughing. Most of them are women in revealing clothing, and they laugh and giggle around three men in lavish suits and swimming in money. None of the women is Camille, just purely wanna-bes. Full of secrets and toxic relations.

Magnus meets Ragnor’s eye, both thinking the same thing.

“Putting your hand in too many cookie jars will one day break your fingers,” Ragnor says cryptically. “One of them might even be poisoned.”

“Good riddance,” Catarina says, finishing her drink. Magnus clinks his glass with hers.

 

****************

 

“Tell me again why we’re here?” Magnus asks.

“The idiot wanted to practice his skateboarding,” Raphael says, equally disinterested. “Someone challenged him, and here we are.”

“I didn’t realize he has such a competitive streak,” Magnus replies. The skating rink is busy, and it smells terrible. The food is worse, and the alcohol is mediocre. Magnus is hesitant to touch anything.

“Some people bring it out of him,” Raphael explains. Magnus hears the disapproval in his voice. Whoever has this power over Simon does not have Raphael’s support. Which is nothing new when it comes to Raphael. He disapproves almost all of the time. However, there was another aspect here Magnus finds fascinating.

Magnus puts his chin on his palm. “You’re here to make sure he doesn’t get hurt. How romantic.”

Raphael’s shoulders hunch, and Magnus stares his lie in the face. It fades away. “Friends do look out for each other, no? I do the same for you. I try to. You’re more difficult to keep alive than a blind dog.”

Raphael tended to close up when he truly cared for something. Magnus has learned to back off or Raphael will never be honest with him. Magnus decides to play his game. “Am I a cute blind dog?”

“Whatever happened to Camille?” Raphael asks, changing the topic. A genuine question tainted with condescension. The biting remarks are usually acquainted with Raphael, and the act itself makes Magnus smile, even if the subject is a knife to the chest.

“Being taken care of,” Magnus answers. “Have you ever played the telephone game?”

“No? I’m guessing you’re going to tell me what it is.”

Magnus grins. “A group of people sit together in a circle. One person whispers something to the person on their right. They whisper the same thing to each person. The objective is to see how much the message changes by the time it reaches the last person.”

Raphael’s mouth twitches. “And what is this message?”

Magnus shrugs. “She’s a confident and driven woman. She has her hands in mafia business. Russian and American mafia. You know they hate each other? They have a rivalry that’s lasted decades. They’ve burned mansions down, conducted mass murders, and all sorts of chaos. Their limits are nonexistent like their good morals.”

“Sounds like miscommunication can be deadly,” Raphael comments dryly.

“Very,” Magnus confirms. “Camille is not too stealthy with pictures. In fact, she loves being in them. It would be a shame if their rival sees her in those pictures. They’ll know she plays both sides. Best case scenario would be her losing every single one of them as clients. Worst would be them realizing she knows a lot of confidential and personal information that could take them down from the inside. I don’t envy her.”

Raphael whistles. “Revenge is served sweet. Alec has a knight in shining armor.”

Magnus purses his lips. “I’m tired of Camille’s meddling.”

Raphael doesn’t deem it necessary to respond. His expression says enough.

A loud shout comes from the rink, and Raphael hurries out of his seat with a low curse. He towers over the edge of the rink, glaring down at a man sprawled on the concrete. Skateboard upside down.

“You idiot,” Raphael grumbles.

“Yeah, yeah,” Simon replies, wounded. “I think my leg is broken.”

“It’s not broken,” Raphael says stiffly. “Your ankle might be bruised. Can you walk?”

Magnus doesn’t hear Simon’s response, but he watches thrilled as Raphael kneels down to reach for Simon’s hand. He struggles and calls Magnus over to help. Magnus sighs and pats at his nice dress shirt.

He should’ve pretended not to hear Raphael calling him over. He doesn’t get halfway to them when someone on a skateboard runs smack into him. He almost falls into the rink, but instead lands on his hand at a bad angle.

He hears a crunch of bone, and he lets out a breathless shout. Pain flares up and down his arm and fingers. He clutches his arm and holds it to his chest. It’s how Raphael finds him with Simon limping at his side. Magnus glares at him.

“I hate this place.”

Raphael pinches the bridge of his nose, as if he was the one who got hurt. “I didn’t plan on going to the hospital tonight.”

Simon crosses his arms. “I sure did. I love the hospital. I have a designated room there.”

“Shut up,” Raphael says, more exasperated than annoyed. He takes his phone out. “I will call for a ride.”

An hour later, Magnus finds himself standing with Raphael in a little space closed off by curtains in the emergency room. Simon sits on the bed clutching his sprained ankle. Simon is still convinced it’s broken, even though Magnus told him he wouldn’t be able to walk if it was.

Magnus clutches his throbbing wrist. “An ice pack would’ve sufficed.”

“They have a two for one special today,” Raphael grunts.

“You’re hilarious,” Magnus says humorlessly. He’s never been to this hospital before. He doesn’t know the area. They went to one closest to the skating rink.

At least they didn’t go to the one closest to He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.

Someone comes in to take their names down. She tells them a nurse will be here right away, and she leaves with her nose to a clipboard.

“Did you get my board?” Simon asks.

“I should break the damn thing,” Raphael grunts.

Simon gasps. “Did you leave it there?”

“No, I didn’t leave it there. It’s behind the bed. I put it out of my sight so I didn’t have the urge to break it.”

“Because I got hurt? You say the sweetest things sometimes.”

“Because it’s a worthless invention,” Raphael denies. “There is nothing impressive about riding a plank of wood with wheels.”

Whatever Simon is about to say gets cut off when the curtain is pulled to the side to allow the nurse in. A too familiar head of black hair and hazel eyes freezes at the sight of all three of them.

Magnus doesn’t care what’s wrong with his hand. If it’s broken, so be it. He’s ready to rush out of here when Simon stops him in his tracks.

“Alec! I didn’t know you were working here,” Simon says.

All the air in Magnus’s lungs froze and pulled on his chest. Since when did Simon know Alec? He wasn’t in any of the pictures on Alec’s wall.

Alec’s eyes flicker between all three before choosing to settle on his laptop. He clears his throat. “I’m filling in. What are you doing here?”

“I broke my leg, and my friend broke his wrist,” Simon declares. “Fix us up, doc.”

Blood rushes in Magnus’s ears when Alec looks at him. Magnus is pretty sure if Alec was a computer, he would be malfunctioning and trying to start back up. “Friendship is a strong word. Acquaintance is more like it. Hardly that in the best of times. I don’t even need to be here.”

Raphael grabs his elbow when he tries to run. “He fell hard on his hand. It needs to be looked at.”

“I’m looking at it, and it’s fine,” Magnus hisses. “I’m not spending thousands of dollars to have someone tell me my hand is perfectly fine, if not slightly sprained.”

Raphael’s smile is sharp. “Good thing you have a nice, cushy job to pay your bills.”

Magnus wrenches his hand free. He scowls at the flare of pain. Simon is watching them intensely, while Alec tries to look too busy with his computer to pay attention. His cheeks are pink, and his left leg is bouncing with the nerves of a rabbit.

It’s strange to see Alec in his nurse getup. He saw him in scrubs many times, but here he has his badge, pens, and notebook in his pocket.

Magnus ignores all of that in favor of studying Alec after weeks apart. His black hair was an inch or two longer and unruly, which could show how long into his shift he was. He has bags under his eyes and his lips are chapped. That annoying urge to fix shoots through Magnus, and he strains himself from asking if Alec is drinking enough water.

“Am I going to get a cool cast?” Simon asks. His painfree leg swings at his side.

Alec raises a brow but doesn’t spare Simon a glance. He’s filling out something on the computer. “Your leg isn’t broken.”

“You haven’t even looked at it!”

“You’re not writhing in pain, and you managed to get on the table without assistance. It’s not broken.”

“Raphael helped me,” Simon lies.

“I highly doubt that,” Alec says. He looks at Raphael for confirmation he doesn’t need. Raphael steadies him with a look.

“Magnus helped me,” Simon beams.

He goes to kick at Magnus’s leg. Magnus dodges and seethes. “You get dirt on my pants, I will break your leg.”

“That’s unnecessary…”

“How do you know each other?” Alec asks, mouth tight.

Alec is looking at Magnus with what looks to be professional on the outside, but he knows better. Magnus is intimately aware of the signs of all Alec’s moods and the way he buries his true emotions under a heap of less significant ones to appear irrelevant. Alec didn’t do such a thing around him, but there have been times when Alec was on the phone with his mother. His voice was scarily unaffected and even, which he must’ve gotten accustomed to doing when speaking to her.

Magnus hated the sound of it and the way it made Alec look like some sort of robot to be controlled. Magnus kissed his neck and jaw until Alec was back to himself. Sometimes he dared while he was on the phone. If Alec cared, he didn’t say. He let Magnus distract him with kisses, and it was worth it when Alec stopped looking so drained when his mother called.

If what he knows about Alec’s carefully hidden persona is true, Alec is not only anxious and uncomfortable but also angry.

Magnus and Simon go to answer, but Raphael beats them to it. “We see each other every Monday. Usually Simon gets his fill with me, but recently Magnus is invited to join the fun.”

The room goes deathly silent. Simon is stuck in a state of confusion. Magnus lost his voice. Raphael is smirking.

The tip of Alec’s ears are red, and a vein throbbed in his forehead. Magnus expects to see lasers to shoot out and annihilate Raphael where he stands. If Raphael was the one hurt, he would be getting his leg amputated.

Alec’s shoulders are tense. “Does Izzy know about your weekly appointments?”

Simon scrunches his nose. “She knows I go hang out with Raphael. This is the second time Magnus came too. I met him last week.”

“We met at a restaurant, ate, and I went home,” Magnus explains quickly. At Alec’s disgruntled expression, he adds, “Alone.”

A small bit of bitterness grows in Magnus’s chest, and he thinks about joining Raphael with his antics of confusing Alec. He thinks better of it when Alec comes at them with a tray full of standard tools to check vitals. He’s ripping apart plastic covering a tad bit aggressively, and Magnus decides to bite his tongue.

He does work to hide his laugh though.

Alec looks over Simon and his leg. He confirms his theory of a sprained ankle. He wraps a thick compression bandage around his ankle to minimize swelling. He tells Simon to stay off his feet for a bit, and Simon groans. Alec rolls his eyes and finishes filling out his paperwork.

Simon is complaining to Raphael when Alec walks over to Magnus. His fingers fidget. “Lets go in the room next door.”

Magnus momentarily thinks about declining the offer and insist once again his wrist is fine. However, Alec is looking at him, silently pleading with him with his eyes for a chance to talk alone. He was always weak when it comes to what Alec wants, and besides, he missed Alec more than he can describe.

He follows Alec through the curtain, and Alec gestures to the bed to sit. Magnus sighs dramatically and sits. “Nothing interesting here. My wrist is sprained.”

Alec holds his hand out to inspect the injury. After a moment of calming his racing heart, Magnus places his hand in his.

Alec checked Simon’s leg in a clinical fashion. He pushed and prodded at his ankle, while Simon groaned in distress on the bed. Alec flicked his knee for it and called him dramatic, and he continued to treat while Simon pouted.

Alec holds Magnus’s hand with the more careful approach of handling glass. He keeps Magnus’s hand in one, while his other hand lightly pushes and spread Magnus’s fingers and palm. He runs a finger delicately over the swollen area with a focus that rivals warlords. The bare touch makes Magnus shiver, and goosebumps form on his arms. Any movement or sign of pain, Alec immediately stops and watches his face for signs of distress. Magnus smiles at him, biting his tongue and hoping Alec can’t hear his heart raging in his chest every time he touches him.

“You don’t work for the call service anymore,” Alec says after carefully placing Magnus’s hand back down on his lap.

“I do not,” Magnus confirms. “You can tell your siblings to stop calling Downworlder Corporation. I don’t work there either.”

Alec’s cheeks turn pink. “They call for you?”

“New callers don’t generally ask for us by name,” Magnus teases. “It kind of gave them away when they hung up when Cat told them I wasn’t working.”

Alec grimaces. “I’m sorry. I didn’t tell them to bother you. In fact, I told them not to bother you.”

Alec gets another compression wrap for his hand, and he meticulously bandages Magnus’s wrist. Magnus can’t help the grin. “You told your siblings about me?”

Alec avoids his gaze. “I told them I stopped seeing someone,” he says with a detached tone that doesn’t match all the feelings hidden away in his eyes. “Izzy looked through my call history after successfully guessing my password. My sister is like a bloodhound. Once she has a goal, it’s impossible to convince her to stop.”

“She found out you were seeing a sex worker?” Magnus asks.

Alec tenses and frowns, and his brows curve down in such an adorable way. He studies Magnus’s face, as if all the answers were displayed for him to read. This was the closest they’ve been in weeks, and Alec’s concerned stare was too intense for Magnus’s undoing. Alec has this ability to read him so effortlessly. While Alec hides his emotions behind a robotic stare, Magnus hides it with jokes. It doesn’t matter how hard Magnus tries to hide how he’s feeling, Alec sees right through him.

“You didn’t say I love you back,” Alec says, voice brittle like a leaf.

Magnus’s brain freezes. Alec was still holding his wrapped hand. “Excuse me?”

Lines cut into Alec’s forehead. “You didn’t say it back.”

“You can’t do this, Alec,” Magnus says under his breath. Alec flinches. “You said I didn’t need to say it back, though you should’ve known I was yours.”

Alec pales and searches his face. “You were mine?”

Magnus ignores the question, refusing to go down that road. “Your fiancee is yours. Does she know you will never love her as one?”

He’s too angry to care if his words sting. Based on the fight hardening Alec’s features, he definitely struck a nerve.

“She does,” Alec says, voice clipped. “I told her the day after you left.”

“You blame me for it?” Magnus says, holding tight to his own anger. Alec can act so young sometimes, and Magnus remembers how overwhelmed and alone Alec must feel with his mother breathing down his neck and getting closer to his secrets.

“Of course not,” Alec replies, the fight disappearing in one large wave. “She showed up at my apartment. She barged in and told me she needed to tell me something. She said she was married before. She is a widow, and she would always love him. She said she couldn’t love me, and she felt terrible about it. I told her I couldn’t either.”

Magnus stares at him in fragile disbelief. “You told her?”

Alec looks down, grounds himself, and meets his gaze with a type of confidence that demands to be heard. This is a different Alec - still beautiful and less self-sacrificing.

“I did,” Alec admits. “I told her I love a man, and I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“Alec…” Magnus takes a deep breath. “You’re engaged to Lydia. I can’t fight that. I refuse to. I know what I’m worth, and I don’t want to be a secret. You have decisions to make, and I sincerely hope you pick yourself.”

Alec looks at him like he’s seconds from falling apart. A glass portrait shattering, just like the dream they got caught up in. While Alec is responsible for his actions, Magnus can’t help but blame himself for falling this deep.

“I want you happy,” Magnus says softly. He takes Alec’s hands, careful with his own, and remembers how they felt on him. They can be strong and demanding, clinging onto Magnus like he was seconds from crumbling, but they can be soft and provide a comforting touch that brought Magnus back to the living. “You deserve a life where you’re doing what you want, following your dreams, and surrounded by people who love everything about you.”

Alec intertwines their fingers. He’s careful with Magnus’s sprained wrist, and he kisses a knuckle. His eyes are bloodshot. “Do you hate me?”

Magnus’s heart hurts. “I could never hate you, my darling.” He kisses Alec’s cheek and lets go of his hands.

Whatever Alec goes to respond with gets stolen away when the curtain is pulled open. Alec moves away at the same time a woman pokes her head in and smiles nervously upon seeing them. She gestures over her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt. Simon told me you were over here helping a friend, and I could go through.”

Alec smiles at her, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “It’s fine, Lydia. Are you okay?”

“I came by to drop off your dinner,” Lydia tells him. “You forgot it, and I was in the area.”

Alec takes it and pecks her cheek. “Thank you. I’m going to put it in the fridge.” He glances at Magnus. “You can come if you’d like.”

“I’m okay staying here,” Lydia shrugs off kindly and looks back at Magnus. Alec smiles again, barely lifting the corner of his mouth. He looks guiltily over at Magnus, who shrugs and silently soothes his worries with a smile of his own. Alec leaves without another word.

“I’m so sorry,” Lydia apologizes when they’re alone. “I don’t normally walk in like this. Simon told me it was one of his friends in here, and it wasn’t a big deal if I came through.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Magnus assures. She didn’t mention his name, though Magnus has a funny feeling Raphael was the culprit.

Being in the same room as Lydia gave Magnus the same feeling he gets when a client’s lover finds them together. It hasn’t happened often, but when it does, there was nothing good to say to fix the situation. Nothing Magnus can say to make the betrayal hurt less. All he can do is try to leave the room unscathed.

Lydia is watching him, and Magnus feels trapped in a cage. How far is the break room?

“He has a picture of you on his phone.”

Magnus looks up from his injured hand with wide eyes, and he’s thankful his legs are in good shape if he needs to run.

To his surprise, Lydia was leaning on the counter with her hands in front of her. Her shoulders loose and face free of tension or hate.

“I don’t snoop through his phone. He took a screenshot of a restaurant I like, and I was searching for it. Instead, I found something else.”

Magnus’s heart drops to his stomach. He doesn’t remember Alec taking any picture of him.

“I wrote it off as something I didn’t need to know,” Lydia says with a faraway look in her eye. She doesn’t look upset, just contemplative. “But then I noticed he would take out his phone and look at something when he thought he was alone.”

Magnus closes his eyes, and the longing digs deeper than a knife wound. All he ever wanted to do was be there for Alec. He yearned to hold him close and protect him from all the misery his own mother causes. He wanted to push those dark thoughts out and show Alec that touch doesn’t always hurt or lead to heartbreak. What Magnus gives him comes freely, and all he wants is Alec to be happy. He never had to beg Magnus for anything.

He was doing the exact opposite. He was hurting Alec, and he doesn't know how to stop it.

“When Alec’s mother came to me about getting married, I declined,” Lydia admits. “But then she said our law firms would work together. We’d combine them and become Lightwood & Branwell. It’d bring more recognition to the family name.”

Magnus purses his lips. “And you’re aware Alec works here.”

“And has no interest in the family business,” Lydia confirms with a nonchalance Magnus didn’t expect. “He told me. He also told me his mother only wanted us to get married so no one finds out he’s gay.”

Magnus’s chest tightens at the admission. Those words poisoned him like a thorn. Alec never got the words out, too caught in his panic and tears. To be told it was true by an outsider brings a whole new degree of the harsh truth.

“And you’re okay with that?”

Lydia runs a hand through her blonde hair. “Our firms never really got along, but Alec has always been kind. He treated me with respect. He told me someone told his mother about you, and that’s why I agreed to the marriage. I wanted to help him. Something you can understand.”

Camille. All bad things point to her.

“Why are you telling me this?” Magnus asks, suddenly too tired to engage.

Lydia smiles, and it’s a watery one - not from any sort of sadness. Tears crafted from understanding. “The way he looks at that picture of you is how my John looked at me. I would never keep that from someone.”

“And what are you going to do against the great Maryse Lightwood?” Lydia’s brows rise to her forehead. “If you have a big name such as Lightwood, your life is painted on the front papers. It wasn’t hard to figure out.”

Lydia’s eyes drop to her engagement ring. “I’m not going to do anything. I’m going to get married at Oheka Castle on April 27th. I’m going to reserve an extra seat for you if you’d like to attend.”

“I highly doubt-“

“Alec will be alone in the morning on the third floor,” Lydia interrupts, composing herself into a state of indifference. “Don’t go and see him.”

Magnus stares at her kind face hidden beneath a layer of carefully constructed mischief. Mischief he doesn’t comprehend is really happening. Alec’s fiancée is not actually giving him permission to interrupt their wedding and steal him away.

When did he become so tangled in family drama? He escaped his own father’s callous grip and insufferable puppeteering of his life.

I’m only trying to help you, son. Not many people are going to be interested in someone who requires so much room - so much attention. You’re too much for them.

He’s been running ever since. He doesn’t stay in anyone’s life for long, and this is exactly why. He can’t ask Alec to walk away from his parents and family business. Shouldn’t he make those choices on his own? What if outside of the bedroom, Alec realizes he wasn’t worth it?

He suddenly can’t breathe. His legs ache to run.

Alec returns and tenses at the sight of their silent conversation. Lydia says a quick goodbye and leaves, and Magnus finds them alone again.

Alec comes too close, and he places his hand on Magnus’s elbow. “Magnus?”

Magnus stands from the bed. “Thank you for the bandage.”

“Magnus, please don’t go,” Alec pleads. “I-I can’t stop thinking about what would be-“

“What we had was special, Alec,” Magnus says earnestly. “But we’re in two different worlds. I’m tired, Alec. I’m tired of this life, and you’re starting yours. It’s good for both of us to stop seeing each other.”

“How can you say that?” Alec asks, brows furrowed. Good. He should be angry. “Magnus, I don’t want to be apart from you. I love you. I don’t want to say goodbye. I was wrong.”

“Then I’ll say it,” Magnus says. “Goodbye, Alexander. I wish you all the happiness in the world.”

Magnus is almost out of the room when a hand grabs his bicep and pulls him back. A warm body presses against him, cupping his face and neck before stealing his lips into a kiss. It was the type of kiss that stirs fire in his belly and warms his blood. A needy, desperate kiss destined to lead to more - much more.

Alec brings their foreheads together, and he wraps an arm around Magnus’s waist. Starved as ever for touch. “Wait for me. Please? I’m figuring it out. I’m trying to…” he murmurs out of breath. “I’m trying to fight. I promise I am.”

Magnus puts his hands on Alec’s chest, not to push but to stay grounded. “Alec.”

“Write to me?” Alec asks. His voice is an octave higher. His hazel eyes search Magnus’s, and Magnus can see his reflection in them. Does he really look so devastated? “You promised.”

Alec kisses him again, bringing air back into Magnus.

“Tell me no, Magnus,” Alec says. “Tell me no, and I’ll let you go. We go our separate ways, and I will tell my mother the truth anyway. I’ll seek out my happiness, and I’ll think about how you pushed me towards it.”

“It’s not that simple,” Magnus replies. I’m not that simple. I’ve never been simple. Alec goes to argue, and he puts a hand over his mouth. “I’ll write to you.”

Alec kisses Magnus’s palm, and it sends shivers through his entire body. “Tell me your thoughts, Magnus Bane. The new one too who wants to explore. I want to know everything about you.”

A smile tugs on Magnus’s lips, and the voice that comes out sounds too self-deprecating to his ears. “That’ll take a while.”

Alec puts space between them, and his gaze feels like the sun. The way he looks at him has always felt like this, even when Magnus was content in the shadows with him. He stirred warmth the first time Alec opened his door.

“I have a lot of paper.”

Chapter Text

February 14th

 

Dear Alec,

I have resided in Costa Rica for three weeks, and I swear I find sand everywhere. It’s on my feet, clothes, under my fingernails, arms, hair. It’s an endless supply here, and I take two showers a day. I feel sand on me all the time. Even when I leave the beach to enjoy other things life offers. Sand is still there, driving me mad.

I’m going to go bankrupt paying for my shampoo and conditioner, soaps, and hair masks. I would shave it all off, though my hair is a big contributing factor of mine. I would hate for the locals here to miss out. It’s a crime against nature to take one of the seven wonders from them.

Speaking of which, I wanted to see how you’re doing. Saving lives? Glaring at silly teenagers?

Sleeping?

I am thinking about you - you know, outside of the sand.

Until Next Time,
Magnus

 

“Really?” says a disgruntled voice. Postcard of a beach in hand.

“Four letter words,” Magnus sighs. The taste of whiskey on his tongue. He avoids Ragnor’s gaze. “They’re all the same.”

 

************************************************

 

February 22nd

 

Dear Magnus,

My sister - Izzy - took me and my brother - Jace - there after graduating high school. Jace got stung by a jellyfish, and he wanted me to pee on him. I told him it’s a myth. He tried to pee on himself, and the pain got worse.

(Figured we can exchange real names now. Izzy and Jace are my siblings.)

It would be a shame for you to cut your hair. What would you do with your hair supplies? All that time spent choosing which ingredients you like best would go to waste.

But I could take them off your hands? They smell very nice. Sandalwood has become my favorite.

I’m sorry about the sand. It can get under your skin, but if you keep returning to the beach, maybe you don’t hate it too much?

I am thinking about you as well. I would say I’m fine, but I haven’t lied to you before. I’d rather do what we usually do. I listen to your heartbeat with your arms around me and talk about your adventures, but considering it’s a letter, I’ll have to stick to stories.

I don’t glare… I just strongly disapprove of people’s choices. Say, riding a skateboard. With Simon. And Raphael.

Take care of yourself out there,
Alec

 

************************************************

 

February 28th

 

Dear Alec,

….Was that a joke you made? Sarcasm? Why, Alexander. I can picture your face so vividly. The pressed lips and brows furrowed together. The oozing disapproval? You are the definition of an eldest sibling. Self-sacrificing and selfless to a fault.

While I’m not there to hold you, can you do something for me? I want you to do something for you. Twice a week. Whether that means taking a nap, going for a hike, reading (not law books), going to dinner, watching a movie, or watching a puppet show. Doesn’t matter what it is - something for you.

If you do it for long enough, I will send you one bottle of shampoo. You should have something decent in your hair.

For a story/fact in return, I’ll tell you I am banned from Peru. The reason is unimportant. All I’ll admit is that I am catastrophically bad at playing instruments.

Here’s to not being banned here,
Magnus

P.S.

If you’re worried about me cuddling with Raphael, I promise you’ve ruined any hope of me finding a suitable cuddling partner. My standards have risen.

 

************************************************

 

March 5th

 

This letter is written on the back of a picture. It was angled towards Alec’s side. His body is turned to face the camera, and his raven hair contrasts against his skin. He holds a bow in his hand, an arrow pulled back by and ready to shoot. A curtain of morning sunlight shines on an impressively thick arm.

 

Dear Magnus,

Simon still complains about his leg, and it’s been a month. I glare for my sanity. If I let my siblings do what they want, they’d be in jail. Jace doesn’t have limits to his madness. He bought spray paint to use on one of his teacher’s houses. Mr. Aldertree would’ve thrown the book at him. If it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t have graduated high school.

You were banned from Peru? You do know my whole family are lawyers, and I can get someone to reach out to someone to tell me how you managed that. Does it have something to do with your job?

I went to the archery range yesterday morning. It was…fun. I haven’t touched my bow in two years. I have scabs on my fingers, but I just need to buy the right gloves. It was still nice to do it again. Thank you for the “suggestion.” I will do what I can.

I got your shampoo in the mail. It smells good. Do you normally gift things to clients? Or past clients.

Be safe,
Alec

P.S.

I can’t help but notice I haven’t seen Raphael with Simon in awhile. He wouldn’t be out of the country too?

 

************************************************

 

March 11th

 

Magnus’s response comes written on the back of a photo. A photo of Raphael taking off on a zip line, mid-fall with a horrified look on his face. Magnus’s face is in frame, smiling smugly.

 

Dear Alexander,

If Jace didn’t graduate high school as a consequence for his own actions, then so be it. All I hear is him worrying you for no reason other than to get the attention he craves.

What a cheat you are! Though I am proud you’re willing to use your mother to gain information on the sex worker you were seeing. And no, nothing to do with it. Well, it might’ve played a small role, but entirely not my fault.

You are cheating again. Using an aesthetically pleasing photo of you and your distracting muscles to make me spill my secrets. Your stunning face and arms to dream about. Fine, I’ll tell you I have not given gifts to any of my clients - if you don’t count toys.

Except for one time, and she is a demon who should be guarding the underworld. I met her in fashion school, where I got my degree. She’s the one who convinced me to work at a strip club once. A fashion student turned stripper turned sex worker. A tale as old as time.

I really should get back into that. Designing clothes, not interacting with a bloodsucking vermin. Your father may know her. I’m afraid her connection with me led to your mother finding out about you. I fed the grapevine secrets that may or may not be true. She’s in a fair amount of trouble and has disappeared completely and hopefully she withers away.

I hope you don’t hate me. I never wanted to hurt you. I understand if you want to stop talking to me.

My sincerest apologies,
Magnus

P.S.

If you believe I could or would replace you, Alexander, I have failed. With that being said, I haven’t seen Raphael for several hours now. Think he got in an accident. Isn’t that terrible?

 

************************************************

 

March 18th

 

This letter is written on the back of a photo of a park. A deep green field took up most of the picture, and there was a crowd of people attending a festival.

 

Dear Magnus,

I can’t blame you for something that was always going to happen. My mother was going to find out somehow. She had people watching me, and she tracked me by my phone. I was stupid for thinking I could trick her, and I was even more stupid for wanting to. That’s not right. For feeling like I need to.

I bought a new phone and new service, completely separate from my family. I work at a new hospital and in an area my mother wouldn’t check. You know it, the one you saw me at.

I also can’t blame you because it sounds like that’s what this woman wants. She wants to hurt you, and I refuse to help her. I’m not going to play that game. I’m done with games altogether. I’ll spend my time doing something more mundane, such as writing a letter.

I hear what you’re saying. I’m not going to let my siblings down, but I won’t stand in their way anymore. Izzy came to me after the announcement, and we had a conversation that probably should’ve happened a long time ago. She asked if our mother was involved in this, and I told her the truth. The whole truth.

She was infuriated with me for keeping her in the dark. She accused me of seeing her as only my little sister to protect. I couldn’t argue with her when she was right. She reminded me she was a Lightwood too, and she can take on Mom along with me. She also said she knew about my disinterest in going to law school. She is more perceptive than I give her credit for.

I told you I’m fighting. A little bit more every day. I have you to thank for that. To have the courage to open my eyes and see what my mother was doing was wrong. I needed to stop being complicit and take back my life. I’m sorry it took me a long time to get here.

My sincerest apologies,
Your Alexander

P.S.

I walked to the park in the early morning and stumbled into a festival. I tried new food and most of it was good. I saw something at a stand that made me think of you. It’s supposed to bring you luck and protection. I figured since those two things are what I attribute to you - and you should get back into fashion if that’s what you want - you could use some too.

 

************************************************

 

March 23rd

 

Magnus’s response comes on the back of a postcard with a sloth hugging a tree. A rubberband ties it to a handful of pictures.

 

Dear Alexander,

I am so happy to hear you making changes for yourself. You have one life, and you can’t let someone else live it for you. You’re not a doll, no matter how beautiful you are. I am pleased your sister is on your side. That gives me great relief.

It’s hard to separate from family. My father was a parasite, and I had to carve him out. I am acutely aware of the scars left by entitled parents. Cat helped me get away. I backpacked across the country. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. I’ll send you some pictures.

A dear friend of mine lost her hat today. A monkey stole it and ran off. Her husband chased after the poor thing for ten minutes, even though Tess told him it wasn’t important. I think her husband just saw the opportunity to run after a monkey. Then I saw a sloth, and I thought of you. You’re clingy in your sleep. You get all grumpy when I leave the bed. I got used to your adorable snores.

I don’t normally get gifts. Scratch that - I don’t get gifts. Not ones that matter or come from the heart. I will treasure it forever, my darling.

Yours sincerely,
Magnus

 

************************************************

 

March 30th

 

Alec’s letter is on the back of a photo of him sitting at the table with his siblings and a few friends. He has his arms crossed, looking at Jace in exasperated disbelief. Playing cards are splayed on the table. He sits between Jace and Lydia. A hint of Clary’s red hair peeks from the corner. Magnus’s heart squeezes at the slump at Alec’s shoulders. He might feign upset, but it was clear he was comfortable in a room full of people for the first time.

 

Dear Magnus,

First, I don’t snore. You were hearing things.

Second, you deserve everything, Magnus. I’ve told you before. You are the light in the darkness. I couldn’t sleep Tuesday nights because I knew I would be seeing you the next day. I couldn’t sleep Thursday nights because I slept so well with you. I’m not saying you’re boring or whatever tease I know you’ll respond to that with. I feel safe and complete when I’m with you. I don’t have a worry in the world.

I sleep on Jace’s couch now. I still have the apartment, but I feel like an intruder there. I don’t belong in a place like that. At least at my brother’s, I can relax. I’ve been spending a lot of time here. It’s good catching up, and we cook dinner and watch movies. He makes me go out almost every weekend, and I do it. I think he’s right when he says it’s good for me. I met a financial advisor two months ago. Her name is Lily, and she’s helping me plan for the inevitable. I’m waiting for the day my mother kicks me out of the apartment. It’s not as if I signed anything.

Life is quiet - not the best or worst sign. Lydia is a good liar, and she’s willing to live a lie for me. She’s designing her own best fake wedding. Jace wants a bachelor party, and I’m too tired to ask what he has in mind.

I would understand if you don’t show for the wedding. Izzy and Lydia say you will, but I think they’re too optimistic. You’re starting your own life, and I hope you get to do something you actually want to do. You call me selfless, but you deflect.

Yours regardless,
Alexander

 

************************************************

 

April 4th

 

Magnus’s letter is written on a postcard of Rancho Rana Roja. Yoga mats, rustic farms, and a rural farm life.

 

Dear Alexander,

Wednesday nights were my favorite time of the week. I had to start doing yoga more often to relax beforehand and not show up at your door two hours early with a smile on my face. You say I helped you, but I could never decompress and unwind anywhere like I do around you. Smell your snow and pine scent, feel your skin, and listen to you breathe. I can recharge after a long stressful week because of you.

Which is exactly why I can’t give you an answer. I want to call you selfish for asking. I want to be mad at you, but that’s about as likely as me wearing acid-washed jeans. Have fun at the bachelor party, darling.

I went to a bachelor party once or twice, and I woke up naked on top of my house with glitter all over me. Try to keep your clothes on. A pretty boy like you drunk and naked would make the news all the way over here. Stay hydrated and eat. Stay safe for everyone who loves you.

Till then, my darling,
Magnus

P.S.
I love a man in a suit.

 

************************************************

 

April 17th

 

Alec’s response comes on a generic bachelor party postcard. There are two pictures with it. One of a giant bar filled with partiers in a room of bright lights, drinks, and a karaoke machine. The second is of a bemused Alec with a visibly drunk Jace and Simon.

 

Dear Magnus,

Jace almost drowned in a pool. He sang to everyone at the bar - one song each. A whole song. Thirty songs later, and he’s convinced he can walk on water. He finds the fountain outfront and tries to walk across it. You wouldn’t believe it didn’t work, and I had to fish him out. Clary would kill me if I let him die, even though I wish I could’ve at least let him drown long enough to suffer. A little bit.

I don’t like being drunk, so I watched over the others. I’m not being selfless, I really don’t like the hangover part. I promise. I had fun. I thought about you. Jace wasn’t thrilled with me staying mostly sober during his party, but I think he likes the idea of me taking care of him like I used to make a point to.

Then someone taught me I don’t need to take care of my siblings. It’s not my responsibility. I know that now. I will hold their hair back as they’re puking though.

I want to be responsible for you. That’s something I want - not need. I’ll take care of you. Whatever my mother decides to do, I don’t care. I’ve got it covered, and even if I didn’t, I’d have you if you let me. You want me to make this decision on my own, but I’m finally selfish enough to want you more than anything. Everything else is white noise.

Waiting for you,
Your Alexander

P.S.
You can see a man in a suit if you attend the wedding. I promise you won’t regret it. I like to think I make good on my promises. The other promise I made you is coming true.

 

************************************************

 

April 27th

 

“If you had told me it wasn’t your wedding,” Magnus says. “I would’ve flown in sooner.”

Alec smiles, looking too pleased with himself. “You don’t stalk my socials anymore?”

“Don’t let it get to your head, darling.” Magnus cocks his head. “No, I stopped. I deleted my accounts on everything.”

“You would’ve seen the photos I was tagged in,” Alec explains patiently. “Clary trying on wedding dresses.”

Alec sits in the bedroom Lydia told him months ago he’d be. He wears a black suit and bow tie, looking effortlessly gorgeous with angelic features. Sharp cheekbones and strong jaw. Hazel eyes that make Magnus think of freshly trimmed grass in a meadow. He’s far less soldier-like, the confidence is built, than the last time Magnus saw him. He fills out the sleeves deliciously, yet there is no tension in his body.

“You're lucky your supposed fiancée gave me a verbal invitation,” Magnus says. “Then your sister sent me a physical one. Then another from Clary. I should’ve realized something was strange when all the card said was ‘You’re Invited to Our Wedding.’”

Alec shrugs with the unfaltering smirk. “Mom didn’t get it either. She got all the way here, spoke to everyone, including the priest. She was so happy with the way the place looked, she didn’t connect the dots until she saw Jace front and center at the altar and not me.”

“She didn’t see Lydia or you?”

“Oh, she did.” Alec stands. Magnus’s gaze drops to the way the suit sits nicely around his middle and thighs. “Lydia wore a robe just in case, but I doubt she would’ve realized then she paid millions for the wrong wedding.”

“A bunch of sly foxes in this chicken coop,” Magnus praises. Alec comes closer, and he has to tilt his head an inch to hold eye contact. Alec wasn’t looking at his eyes. “You sure you don’t want to be a lawyer?”

Alec swoops in, cups his face and brings their lips together like a drowning man searching for air. Magnus gasps into it, parting his mouth for a taste. Goosebumps slide up his arms, and a pool of lava grows in his stomach. Pine and snow. Soft, hungry lips on his make him dizzy. He puts a hand on Alec’s neck and the other on his front. A beating heart and a furnace meet his longing touch.

Magnus breaks the kiss to breathe. Alec watches him with dark eyes, captivated with the way Magnus licks his bottom lip.

“There’s something different about you,” Magnus murmurs, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. He hadn’t expected this. He expected a slightly less shy man still acting like a puppet for his authoritative mother. A man scared to be himself, willing to dive head-first into an engagement with a woman for his mother’s approval. An eldest sibling who loves his siblings too much in order to feel a semblance of control.

The man standing in front of him, looking at Magnus as if he was at the finish line and wanted his prize, was someone different. A confident man who loves his siblings, still protects but doesn’t hover. A son who put a stop to his overbearing mother.

That man was always in there. Magnus believed that the second he met him. All he needed was a safe place, support, and a well-meaning shove into the spotlight.

“You haven’t seen the half of it,” Alec whispers, his focus leaving behind a heat wave over Magnus’s body. He brushes Magnus’s cheek with a knuckle, and his other hand roams over his neck and shoulders. Reverence shines in his eyes, having not seen Magnus for months. He bites his lip. “Do you want to go dance?”

“Your mother might still be raising hell.”

“And will be for a while,” Alec says. He presses their foreheads together. “My dad snuck in a clause for the ownership of my apartment. Didn’t tell Mom. She legally can’t make me leave for the rest of the year.”

A surprised laugh leaves Magnus, and they both fall into a laughing fit. They hold onto each other, scared this is all a dream and they’ll have to go back to cuddles behind locked doors.

Alec pecks his lips, and the most beautiful smile spreads across his face. “Will you dance with me, Magnus Bane?”

There’s a lump at the back of Magnus’s throat. Waves of emotions roll off him. He can’t remember the last time someone looked at him like this. As if they’d take on the world, just like Alec did, to get to him.

This wasn’t for him. Alec fought for himself, but Magnus couldn't help but listen to the treacherous thoughts. He can be selfish. It’s good to be a mix of both.

“I am forever your dance partner, Alexander.”

Chapter Text

Hospitals have a strange ability to steal you from the world, and take you from one point to another. It acts like a portal, yanking you through and dropping you into a darker, suffocating place. There are windows, but Magnus sees only gray clouds and a never ending gloomy version of reality.

Magnus walks through the halls, arms at his sides, stiff and with his head held high. The air smells like chemicals and sickness, as he follows the directions on the wall to the third floor. He gets into the elevator, where a woman lays in a hospital bed with her nurse and husband standing at her side. The man and woman are holding hands, and Magnus flashes them a tight smile right before speeding through the opening doors.

Magnus follows the directions past several hallways and corners. He finds the nurses station, and he spots a familiar tall build dressed in dark blue scrubs. Alec’s hair is messy from the many times he runs his hand through it. He can’t see Alec’s face with his back towards him. Magnus stays out of sight, happily watching his lover hand off information to the new nurse.

“I like your scrubs,” the nurse compliments. “How many pockets do those have?”

Alec glances down at his shirt. “A bunch.”

“Are they new? I grew out of my old ones when I got pregnant. I’m looking for a new brand to try.”

Alec pauses, and he fidgets with his pen and clipboard. “Someone made them for me. He’s, uh, he’s a designer and trying out new things. It’s a hobby for now, and he mostly works on jackets and shirts. He’s experimenting with scrubs. He calls my other ones unflattering and outdated.”

By the time Alec is finished speaking, the nurse is grinning with an amused glint in her eye. “This is the most I’ve ever heard you speak about something non-work related. Who exactly is this someone?”

Magnus can’t see Alec’s face, but he knows he’s blushing. The rosey tint makes Magnus’s stomach stir with want, captivated by his beauty and the thrill to make Alec blush more. He does it so easily. Alec once tried out a new recipe - a family recipe his mother taught him. It didn’t come out too good, but Magnus choked it down, pulled Alec’s chair closer to his, and called him adorable with radish in his hair.

Alec tried to hide his face in his hands, and Magnus laughed and kissed his cheek.

“I speak plenty,” Alec grumbles. Magnus bites back a chuckle.

The woman takes the clipboard and Alec’s notes. He adds more detail on his patients, and she nods. “I like the color and fit. I like the material. Tell this someone maybe he can make some for some of us here.”

Alec sighs and pats his pockets. He checks the time on his phone. Magnus doesn’t expect Alec to respond. If he’s tightlipped in the safety of his own home, Alec probably doesn’t share much personal information at work. It took months for Alec to tell Magnus anything deeper than surface level pleasantries, and to make himself vulnerable by explaining why he was starved for touch. Why he touched Magnus, pressed into his side like he was going to disappear. Why he truly hired Magnus, not for sex but to be held.

He wanted a connection badly, and to feel safe, and his decision to call Downworlder Corporation changed Magnus forever.

“He’s someone trying to be sneaky.”

Upon being caught, Magnus joins them at the counter. Alec’s lips are tugged into a knowing smirk. Magnus nods at the woman, and her nametag says Stacy. “Hello, Stacy. I’m Magnus. Or someone.”

Stacy laughs. “Nice to meet you. It’s nice to put a face to a name.”

“Oh?” Magnus hums, intrigued. “How often does Alexander mention me?”

“Okay,” Alec interrupts, flustered. “Miss O’Donnell needs her vitals checked. I have the next two days off.”

“Don’t call if you need anything,” Magnus adds. “If you don’t mind.”

The woman snorts, and they part ways. Magnus looks around. “This is a nice hospital.”

Alec studies him. Magnus sees the question on his tongue, but Alec drops it. He smiles and puts a firm hand on Magnus’s elbow to guide him down the hall. “Let me grab my things. It should only take a second.”

“Of course,” Magnus replies, and his gaze doesn’t stray from Alec, who looks as enraptured by his presence. They reach the locker room, and Magnus steps to the side to wait outside. “Did you have a good shift?”

Alec nods. He’s not looking at Magnus and right before he shuts the door, he pulls Magnus inside.

Magnus frowns. “Alec, what-“

Alec pushes Magnus against the wall, cupping his face and kisses him hard. Magnus gasps into it, and he grabs blindly for Alec’s shirt. He needs him close, needs to feel the heat of his body. The comfort and familiarity he associates with Alec and acts as gravity.

Alec’s mouth is addicting, and he parts his lips, licking Magnus’s bottom lip. Magnus tries to break the kiss, laughing as he does, and Alec chases after his mouth. His arms wrap around Magnus, and Magnus lets the kiss continue for a minute more.

Finally, Magnus pulls away. “What has gotten into you, Alexander?”

Alec is smiling, warm and full of life. “I missed you.”

Magnus’s heart skips a beat, and it’s his turn to fight off a blush. He crosses his arms. “I missed you too. You better hurry. We have those appointments.”

“Right.” Alec kisses Magnus’s cheek and goes to his locker to change. He removes his shirt, exposing his broad back and firm shoulders. His chest is defined by subtle muscle, flexing with every breath and movement. Magnus has kissed that skin tons of times, lavishing his gorgeous Alexander with fleeting touches, and made him moan and gasp. Alec reacts so beautifully to attention, letting Magnus do whatever he likes to him.

It’s usually Magnus holding Alec, but when it’s the other way around, Magnus feels safest and loved. He always feels loved by Alec.

In order to not get distracted, Magnus asks, “She likes the scrubs?”

“She did,” Alec says. He changes into a black shirt and jeans. “They’re great with all the pockets and breathable fabric.”

“Plus they’re stylish,” Magnus points out with a strained beaming smile. “I might have to pretend to be sick so you can take care of me.”

Alec studies him as he fastens his watch. “Why don’t you like hospitals?”

“What?” Magnus stammers. “There’s nothing wrong with hospitals. Hospitals are great.”

Alec’s furrowed brows don’t relax, and he tilts his head. “Magnus, you don’t have to hide from me. I want you to be honest. I’ve seen you walk around here, and the way you show up at the exact time my shift ends and hurry us out.”

Magnus rubs his arm anxiously, and he searches the empty room. There’s no one here, just the two of them. The locker room feels smaller than it is, and he gestures weakly at the door.

Alec, the understanding and patient soul, grabs his keys and phone. They exit the locker room, and Magnus follows Alec to the employee parking garage. Alec starts to talk about his day, and the special interaction he had with a little girl. She ran into a car on her bike, and she bled from her chin. Alec had to glue her chin back together, and she was brave and didn’t cry. She thanked him in a sweet voice, and Alec thought of his sister, Izzy.

Magnus gets in the passenger seat. “How is that beautiful sister of yours?”

“She’s great,” Alec answers. “She passed her exams. She’s going on a trip with Simon. I wouldn’t be surprised if she came back engaged.”

“He better do something special,” Magnus says. He met Izzy at the wedding, and she was exactly how he expected based on how Alec described her. She is vibrant like a firework, and she is confident and intelligent with a sharp tongue. They got along quickly, and Izzy was more than excited to learn all about the man her brother spent so much time with. “But I’m sure he already knows that.”

“My sister is better than him in every way,” Alec huffs. “More than he deserves.”

“Don’t act like you don’t like Stan,” Magnus teases. “Stan and John are video game fanatics. He’s also the lovely Clary’s best friend. I’m afraid to say he’s in the middle of the group.”

Alec’s laughter fills the car, and he rolls his eyes. “You love pushing Jace.”

“He’s cocky. I gotta bring that ego of his down a few levels.”

“Funny, I surround myself with confident people with high egos,” Alec deadpans.

Magnus gasps, scandalized. “So rude, my darling.”

Alec’s smile softens. He takes Magnus’s hand, intestines their fingers, and brings his hand to his lips to kiss. “I like you for exactly how you are.”

Magnus swallows thickly, feeling the weight of Alec’s words settle in his chest and encompass his heart. He’s not used to being told such things, even after all this time since he first met Alec. Sure, he was complimented plenty. All his clients in the past buttered him up, made him feel good, told him what they thought he wanted to hear. He didn’t believe any of it was genuine.

Alec’s tender heart and warm kindness was refreshing. When he spoke, Magnus didn’t once doubt he meant what he said. There was nothing performative about him. If he didn’t want to talk, he wouldn’t, and if he didn’t want to touch Magnus, he wouldn’t. Fortunately, Alec always wanted to touch him. Unless he was at work, Alec constantly held his hand and didn’t stray far. When they were on the couch together watching a movie, Alec sat at his side with his legs over Magnus’s lap. His face in Magnus’s neck.

There is nobody like his Alec, and Magnus is in awe of him.

They drive a little ways out of the city. Alec parks the car, and they both get out to greet the woman at the front door of the complex. The woman, Angela, smiles. “Mr. Lightwood? It’s nice to meet you.”

Alec shakes her hand. “Same to you. This is Magnus.”

Angela smiles at Magnus, and her eyes flicker between them. “It’s good to have you here. Are you looking for a home too?”

“I am,” Magnus says. “Alec is new to this, and I wanted to teach him the ropes.”

“That’s kind-“

“My boyfriend moves a lot,” Alec interrupts. Magnus’s brows shoot to his forehead, shockingly pleased at the ease in Alec’s voice. “He knows what I like.”

Butterflies form and hastily flutter inside Magnus’s chest. Alec is going to make him dizzy with the constant affectionate tone and sweet words. He said it so offhanded, as if Alec didn’t realize how much his words made Magnus dizzy.

The first time Alec called Magnus his boyfriend, it was at Clary and Jace’s wedding. Maryse came up to Alec yelling about being deceived, and she called Alec her biggest disappointment. Alec took it in stride, didn’t let her words dig into him like nails. He calmly informed her he never wanted to go to law school, and he was going to be a nurse. She turned red with rage.

Then he told her he was gay. He revealed to her he had a boyfriend, and he loved him.

Magnus didn’t hear Maryse’s reply, too swept up in Alec’s confession. He thought he was surprised when he walked into another couple’s wedding rather than Alec’s. He thought he was stunned when Alec introduced him to his siblings, who knew Magnus, and teased Alec with how often he spoke about him.

He was something entirely new - felt like he’d been struck by lightning - when Alec stood up to his mother. The same woman who controlled every aspect of Alec’s life. The reason why Alec felt so isolated, desperate for touch and affection.

Nobody’s called him their boyfriend before.

They spend the afternoon checking out different complexes and houses for Alec. Alec didn’t want to live in his apartment anymore. The lease is ending soon, and he felt alienated in that place. It got better with Magnus’s special touch, and he took Alec shopping one day to buy things he liked. Alec didn’t pick anything all day, even with Magnus’s gentle prodding.

They walked into a thrift store, where Magnus followed Alec from aisle to aisle. Alec found a cabinet made out of an old suitcase.

“You like that?” Magnus asked, curious. Alec nodded with a small smile, and Magnus hummed. “Perfect. Let’s buy it.”

Alec fidgeted with the suitcase. “But you don’t like it.”

“I like you,” Magnus flirted. “A lot. I love learning more about you. You like it, I like it.”

And that was that.

Magnus whistles. “This place is nice.”

Alec walks down the hall and counts the bedrooms. “Two bedrooms.”

Magnus looks out the giant windows in the living room. It has a beautiful view, and the kitchen would be perfect for Alec. “Why do you want three bedrooms?”

Alec doesn’t reply right away, and Magnus turns to him. Alec is busying himself looking at the bathroom. “Because maybe you want to work while you’re over.”

Magnus blinks. “You want to have a room for me to work?”

“Yeah,” Alec says simply. He walks over to Magnus and wraps his arms around him. He kisses Magnus’s forehead. “A room big enough for tables, mannequins, and your tools. A big closet.”

Magnus’s heart beats loud in the empty room. Alec is talking about their future. The many days and nights they’ll spend together. Alec is leaving a hole in his life for Magnus to fill. A place for Magnus to be safe and loved.

Because Alec loves him.

“I don’t like hospitals,” Magnus admits, voice tense.

Alec frowns, and hazel eyes search Magnus’s face in worry. Magnus’s mouth twitches, making a nervous smile. Magnus tugs Alec to one of the bedrooms, and they sit on the display bed. Magnus takes Alec’s hands, soaking the comfort Alec gives freely.

“My mother was very sick,” Magnus explains somberly. “I was eight when I saw her in the hospital for the first time. She will get discharged, but then she’ll be right back two months later.”

Alec watches him closely. He rubs Magnus’s knuckles with his thumb.

“She was very motherly. Very sweet and loving. She was always there for me,” Magnus goes on. “She made sure I did my homework every night. Made sure I ate and cleaned after myself. Even when she wasn’t home, I did it because it made her happy when she asked at my visits.”

Magnus bites on his bottom lip. His eyes burn. “Then she died, and it was just my father and me. He’s not kind or fatherly. I fed myself most nights at the hospital and pretended things were fine. He told me repeatedly how he never wanted a kid. He didn’t do anything but let me live in his house once she died. After that, I saw him once a month. He left a little money and disappeared.”

Alec’s face is hard, and his tone sounds like burning metal - angry and sharp. “No one took care of you?”

“Just myself,” Magnus answers honestly. “I ran out of money for food, and I got a job. I got into college, and I didn’t hear from my father for a few years. Then he showed up at one of my shows. I haven’t seen this man in a long time. I didn’t know what to say. He did. He said everything looked terrible, and I wasn’t going anywhere.”

Alec’s eyes are bright, and maybe he resembles hot glass instead of burning metal. “Magnus….” he soothes. He places a chaste kiss on Magnus’s shoulder.

“And then I met Camille and got stuck in her toxic world. Worked with my father because he’s as emotionless and manipulative as Camille in the same shady crowd, and I eventually got myself out. I’ve avoided hospitals since.”

Magnus squeezes Alec’s hand, who scoots closer into his side. Magnus rests his cheek on Alec’s shoulder. His pine and snow scent fills his nose, relaxing him like it always does. They don’t spend every night together, but it is most nights at Alec’s apartment. Alec in Magnus’s arms. Magnus’s nose in Alec’s lovely dark hair, sprinkling kisses to his neck and head.

He gets his best sleep with Alec in his arms. It’s all he wants now. Alec must read his mind, because he holds Magnus close to his chest. Magnus places his face in the crevice of his neck, where his cologne and natural scent are strongest. It’s not just Alec’s smell, but his entire being. His everything. The strength he has. The mental and physical strength it took to take his life back.

It was time to do it for himself.

Magnus caresses Alec’s jaw, cherishing his soft skin and bone structure. Alexander is so beautiful.

Alec blushes, so he must’ve said it out loud.

“I’m new to relationships,” Magnus murmurs. “I’m scared I’m not going to be good at this. I want to be good at this for you. You deserve the world. You mesmerize me, darling. You surprise me every day, and I need you to know how much you mean to me. I’m just new to this, and I’m sorry if I seem hesitant.”

“Magnus,” Alec replies, and a relieved smile spreads across his face. “Look who you’re talking to. I’m new to everything. We can learn together, Magnus. I-I think we’re doing pretty good.”

Magnus’s heart flutters, a whole cage of butterflies. Warmth fills his veins, and he kisses Alec, slow and passionate. He pulls away, and lets out a breathless laugh when Alec chases his lips.

“We are, my Alexander.”

They spend many weeks searching for Alec’s new apartment, and they finally find one next to the hospital. It’s less expensive and smaller, but still very nice. Alec earned a raise, and he’s working on gaining new certifications, such as infectious control.

Magnus helps choose new furniture, ones that don’t look like they jumped out of a magazine. Alec takes a while to pick a set, but it’s worth it when Magnus sees the way his eyes shine with excitement for the first time that day while shopping. Izzy and Clary join them in decorating Alec’s new place, and Magnus takes a step back to watch them laugh and interact in ways he hasn’t seen before.

Alec looks so happy, and he doesn’t have so much tension in his shoulders and the way he holds himself.

Alec cooks them breakfast one early morning. It’s a normal, regular weekend day. Alec has the day off, and they plan to visit the mall in the city for Magnus’s apartment. He’s in the middle of moving to a different place that’s smaller to save money. He has more money than he knows what to do with, but he doesn’t need so many rooms anymore.

“I got the vanilla frosting you like,” Alec says. He places a plate full of food in front of Magnus and kisses his temple. “Took me three stores to find it.”

Magnus’s chest fills with pressure, and it’s both achy and floaty. Maybe it’s the way Alec looks with messy bed hair and wearing Magnus’s sleeping pants. They’re a size too small, and they fit snug around his waist. Maybe it’s the domestic feel of it all, but Magnus is talking before he can bite back the words.

“I love you.”

Alec freezes at the stove with the spatula in hand. Remnants of exhaustion from waking up are long gone. His lips shine with grease from when he popped a piece of bacon into his mouth. He is breathtaking.

Alec’s smile rivals all the stars in the universe. “I love you too.”

“Do you want to see my old apartment?”

Alec blinks, hit by two unexpected surprises. Alec has never been to Magnus’s apartment. It wasn’t intentional, though Magnus pointedly makes it so it’s Alec’s apartment or Jace’s apartment they meet at. There are things he was worried about sharing with Alec, but he’s moving, and he’s getting rid of things.

“Sure.”

They eat their breakfast quickly and go to shower. They wash each other’s hair and body, exchanging sweet kisses and love bites. Sometimes it’s like Magnus can’t get enough of Alec, and the feeling has heightened these past couple of weeks.

They decide to go shopping first, and Magnus sells his old couch for a new and smaller one. Magnus buys some more material for his projects, and finally they’re parked in front of Magnus’s complex. It’s not as expensive as the one Alec lived in, but it is huge and greatly decorated. This apartment has four bedrooms and two bathrooms, and a giant kitchen Magnus hardly uses.

Alec points at a gold statue of an angel. It sits in front of a large painting Magnus bought for thousands. “Angel?”

“I guess I’ve always had a thing for angelic things,” Magnus purrs in his ear and kisses his cheek.

Magnus doesn’t have any personal pictures on display in the living room. This is because he had a lot of visitors and a bunch of prying eyes. He takes Alec’s hand and leads him to the second door on the right. Inside, is a bedroom for close friends. Alec immediately goes to the many shelves, where there are framed pictures.

“Is this your mother?” Alec asks. Magnus nods. “She’s beautiful.”

“She was,” Magnus says weakly. “I wish she’d gone happier, and not tied to an asshole who barely paid her any attention.”

Alec holds a picture of Magnus and his mother at the park. “She had you, and it’s clear she loved you very much. Thank you for showing me this.”

Magnus spends the next hour going over every picture he has. Alec is naturally curious, and he yearns to learn every detail of Magnus’s life. It’s the most open Magnus has ever been with anyone. He has his chest and mind held open for Alec to see inside, and it’s nerve wracking, and above all riveting to have someone determined to learn all about him.

Alec goes to the last room. “What’s in here?”

“My office,” Magnus replies. He fidgets with his rings. “It’s where I took my calls.”

“Oh.”

Magnus can’t tell what Alec is thinking, but he is staring at the door. Magnus opens it to let him in, and Alec goes in willingly. There’s really not much to see, besides for a desk with drawers and a computer.

Alec looks closer at the desk, and Magnus watches him quietly. Alec opens a drawer. “What’s all this?”

“Sound effects.”

Alec holds up a bell.

“I used it to trick callers into thinking I had someone with me.”

Alec holds up a belt buckle and cloth.

“Sounds like I’m undoing my pants.”

A tin of vicks.

“Sounds like lube.”

A small pad of paper.

“Slapping.”

Alec closes the drawer with an exasperated expression. “You weren’t kidding. You really didn’t come with anyone on the phone?”

“Just you.”

Alec’s cheeks go pink. “You didn’t use any of this?”

Magnus steps closer and kisses Alec’s arm. “Not with you. Never.”

Alec’s gaze drops to the chair and back to Magnus, and his hazel eyes are dark. “You never came in this chair, and you’ve only come on the phone with me.”

Magnus nods, unable to fight a grin when Alec comes closer, putting his hands on Magnus’s chest. He sits in response to the silent order. Alec kneels between his legs, and he looks gorgeous and captivating. Magnus kisses Alec, caressing his neck, craving his touch more than he’s ever craved anything else. Alec leans into it, eager and whining, and he runs his hands over Magnus’s arms and thighs.

“Do you need to do any work?” Alec asks with his cheek to Magnus’s stomach.

Magnus glances at the laptop. He runs his fingers through the man’s hair. “I’m sure I could find a few things. What do you need, my darling?”

Alec doesn’t answer, just soaks in Magnus’s warmth and comfort. His arms wrap around Magnus’s waist.

Magnus rubs Alec’s back with one hand and pulls his laptop closer with the other. “You want to be my good boy, Alexander?”

Alec kisses Magnus through his shirt and nods. “I do. I want to be.”

“You’re my good boy,” Magnus tells him soothingly. “I’m going to get some work done. Are you comfortable?”

Alec nods again, more sluggish as he falls further. Magnus scratches the back of Alec’s neck, waiting for his laptop to turn on.

Alec doesn’t move a muscle the whole time Magnus works, besides to move his head from one thigh to the other. His breathing is even, his soft exhales feel nice on Magnus’s clothed stomach and legs. The only sounds are his typing, and every now and then Magnus will whisper praise and compliments. Alec sinks deeper into his mind, relieving him of stress and all racing thought.

Two hours pass, and Magnus finishes wrapping up any orders and last minute arrangements. He closes the laptop and cups Alec’s face. His eyelashes are long, resting against his sculpted cheeks. Magnus runs a finger along his face, tenderly waking him.

“You are striking, my darling,” Magnus whispers in awe.

Alec’s eyes flutter open. He stretches with a satisfying groan, and then leans up for a kiss. “Get things done?”

“Mhmm,” Magnus hums in the kiss that’s quickly turning hot and consuming.

Alec fiddles with his belt and Magnus chuckles. “What do you need, my darling?”

Alec slips his hand in Magnus’s pants and wraps it around his half hard cock. Magnus groans, Alec plays his body perfectly. “I want to make you come. Please? I want to make you feel good.”

“You always make me feel good, sweet boy.”

Alec thumbs at the head, collecting more precome to make the strokes easier, gliding over his heated skin. Magnus kisses him, tasting him and his pretty noises. Alec’s mouth is parted, panting out hot gasps, and Magnus licks a stripe over his jaw. Alec shivers, adding more purpose to the strokes, jerking Magnus’s cock deliciously. His callused archer hand feels fantastic on his cock, and Magnus thrusts into Alec’s hold.

Magnus plays with Alec’s bottom lip, captivated by how full and pink it is. “You’re so beautiful. You’re perfect, Alexander. Fuck. Say my name. I want to hear you say it.”

He’s so tired of Bane. He doesn’t want a pet name. He wants to hear Alec say his name. Nobody has said it so preciously as Alec does. It’s music to his ears.

“Magnus,” Alec gasps. His pupils are dilated wide, more black than hazel and filled with need. “Magnus.”

Magnus comes into Alec’s hand, and he moans into the kiss. Alec kisses back, desperate and touching all he can reach. There’s cum on his shirt, but he pays it no mind. He moves impossibly closer with his hands in Magnus’s hair and tugging on his shirt. Magnus soothes him with kisses and brushing his hair.

“Let’s take a shower,” Magnus tells him between kisses. “I want to see you, and make you fall apart.”

And he does. He brings them to the bathroom, and there he removes everything Alec is wearing. He kisses every new patch of skin, nibbles and licks spots he knows makes Alec tremble and moan. Under his ear, his tricep, and down to right below his nipples. Alec leans on the wall to keep from falling as Magnus continues lavishing him with kisses. He gets a laugh when he kisses Alec’s knee.

Magnus gets Alec in the shower and presses him face first to the wall. He washes his hair with his sandalwood shampoo Alec loves so much and kisses his muscular back. He travels down his body, and he gets on his knees. He parts Alec’s cheeks to slide his tongue over his hole, and what were once breathless gasps are now sharp whines and cries.

He opens Alec up with his fingers, and he kisses Alec’s jaw and neck while holding him with his free hand. Alec rolls into his fingers with mindless gasps of his name. “Magnus, please. Magnus.”

Magnus leans in his ear. “Let’s go to my bed. I want to see you in it.”

They step out of the shower, and they get distracted several times, unable to get far without kissing and exploring each other’s bodies like somehow this was the first time. Alec bumps his knee on the wall, and they both stop kissing to laugh.

They’re mid-kiss when Magnus pushes his cock into him. Alec looks ethereal on the white sheets, his jaw slack in a quiet gasp. His black hair is messy and wild, and so are his eyes that are glued to Magnus. His knees press into Magnus’s sides, and his fingers grab onto his back as he fucks him. Alec arches his back, leaning in for a messy kiss. Air means nothing to either of them. Magnus lives on Alec, needs to touch and feel his skin, smell his pine and snow soap mixed with his own, and look at nothing but Alec’s beautiful face.

“I love you,” Magnus whispers in Alec’s ear. “My Alexander.”

Alec meets his eye, looking dazed and perfect. “I love you too, Magnus.”

Alec cries out after a particular thrust, and Magnus focuses on that spot. It’s hard to reach between their bodies with the way Alec is holding onto him, but he pets Alec’s chest and lightly plays with his nipple the way he loves. Magnus praises, saying how good he feels, how gorgeous he is, how much he means to him. He strokes him until Alec comes with a cry. Magnus fucks him harder, losing his set pace, and Alec cries out and clutches tighter. His hole clenches around his cock, and he comes with Alec’s name on his lips. Alec moans his name again and again, kissing Magnus’s cheeks and jaw. Anywhere he can reach.

Magnus cleans them both, and he gets back into bed. He pulls Alec into his arms, and he places his chin on top of his head. Alec snuggles deeper, needing Magnus closer.

“I work until three tomorrow,” Alec says, voice fragile. “Will you spend the night tonight? I’ll cook for you. I found a few recipes I want to try.”

“Alexander, my darling. I plan to spend every night with you.”

Alec goes quiet, and Magnus is falling asleep when Alec speaks again. “I still have your jacket. You need to wear it so it smells like you again.”

Magnus’s heart squeezes. For such a long time he didn’t believe anyone would need him, wouldn’t think he was too much, or wouldn’t want to stay longer than a week. Every time Alec opened the door, smiling wide and visually relaxed at the sight of Magnus, Magnus could see his future building right in front of him. A sturdy rock in his river of madness and chaos.

“I’ll have to rectify that,” Magnus agrees, like an echo. “Keep a pile of my clothes in your bottom drawer.”

“I’ll clear a drawer for you,” Alec says quietly. “Or two.”