Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They had faced all kinds of problems before, but never anything like this, and for once, Millard found himself at a loss.

As soon as Millard entered the privacy of the apothecaries’ tent, he heard Theo groan and saw him scrubbing at his face wearily and sighing in obvious frustration. Millard knew he had been sitting at that worktable for hours now, mixing and making concoctions of all types, yet none of them had had the desired effect. It must have been beyond frustrating for his friend, not to mention upsetting and exhausting, too.

Especially since Theo couldn’t help these people. None of the apothecaries could. Everything they’d tried had either failed to cure their patients or only had a minimal effect, and these people were truly suffering.

And all because the forces in charge of Orsterra's armies wanted to get more information on their enemy, not to mention getting a better idea of the lay of the land in hell. So little was known about this apparent realm of the dead, and those in charge did not like not knowing.

So much so that their actions after that were almost predictable.

The first foray into hell had been bad, but there had numbered only a few and all were already affiliated with the Band. Millard and the other clerics had healed everyone without a second thought, before the injuries could even become a problem.

Their second foray into hell, however, had been much, much worse.

Shortly after they had returned to Castle Edoras, the group had been approached by Krauser, who had requested a moment of their time in private. Naturally, they had accepted and had found themselves in an antechamber near the throne room, where a cautious chamberlain had personally made sure no-one else was listening in.

Krauser had wanted to send a small team of hand picked Edoras troops into hell to do as much reconnaissance as they could. ‘The more of an advantage we’ve got in an unfamiliar realm,’ Krauser had said, ’the better. In order to protect her majesty and Edoras, I have to make possibly dangerous decisions like this, and I will. Can we rely on your assistance, Ringbearer Chosen?’

It wasn't really a question at all.

Theo had already been exhausted at the time, and Millard had seen the looks the others were giving each other, but… Without the Ring’s power, it was impossible to safely enter that forbidding world of the dead. They all knew that, and Theo surely felt that this was a part of his responsibilities as the Chosen One as well. He knew his friend couldn’t just leave it to the civilians…

On some level, the others knew that, too. Millard had been the first to gently reassure Theo that it was alright, that he would be by his side no matter what, with Lynette and Gilderoy adding their support immediately after as well. Scarecrow had shrugged and just told him to be careful, and Viola actually asked Krauser for a sizable fee for their troubles.

Fiore and Sofia had been more reluctant, however. Nobody could begrudge them their concerns and, as a concession, Theo had told Krauser that this would be the only additional excursion into hell. After that, they’d have to wait and see if the situation warranted further investigations.

All that had meant, however, was that Krauser had just packed more and more things to do into that first exploration.

It had not gone well. The two dozen handpicked troops that Krauser had brought with him had been reckless in their attempts to fight the creatures in hell, eager to prove themselves, and had received grave wounds for their actions. Their attempts to map the area around the Cragspear portal had been severely hampered by having to keep those soldiers alive and out of trouble, and eventually the group had retreated without making much headway at all.

A fact that had irritated Krauser to no end, but he held true to his word and didn’t ask Theo to venture into hell again. Not right now, at least.

Instead, he organised a large tent on the outskirts of Cragspear, where the wounded could be treated away from the prying eyes of the public. If they saw what had happened, there would surely be panic, and that was something that Queen Alaune could ill afford. The citizens of Cragspear were already wary, and something like this would only unsettle them further.

But then had come the second unpleasant discovery. The wounds inflicted by the monsters of hell and the souls of the dead seemed to burn with an unholy fire. They would not heal with normal medicines, and the sedatives and analgesics they usually used only worked with half efficacy. In fact, none of the lotions and potions and concoctions the apothecaries created had worked well at all.

Not even Theo’s famous family recipes had worked, and his friend had been devastated.

The healing magic that he and the clerics had used worked wonders, however, but there was a limit to what they could do before becoming overwhelmed by exhaustion. Millard himself had very nearly passed out after healing two soldiers, one after the other, and the other clerics who had arrived to help were similarly affected. Instead, they had opted for a system of triage, healing those who needed it most, and making the others more comfortable until they could be tended to properly.

“This isn’t going to work,” Theo sighed, folding his arms on the table and resting his forehead against them. “The clerics will be overcome if Krauser wants to invade hell again, and our concoctions aren’t working… What are we going to do?”

He clearly hadn’t heard Millard approaching, so when the cleric’s hand landed on his shoulder, Theo jumped in surprise. Bottles of concoctions of all kinds wobbled and nearly fell, which would have been a disaster for the strewn pages of scribbled notes that lay everywhere.

“I think you should rest, Theo,” Millard said kindly, and Theo looked up at him. There were dark circles under the apothecary’s eyes, showing that his friend was uncomfortably close to exhaustion himself. Millard was willing to bet that he had similar shadows under his own eyes, but he didn’t want to rest while Theo was still pushing himself like this. He wanted to help, but he had no idea how.

“There’s still too much to do, and there’s still daylight. Well, just about,” Theo said, sounding cheerful in spite of his obvious tiredness. In fact, his eyes were a little too bright. “Maybe I’ll take a short break and get some food, but I feel fine! I can keep working for a while yet.”

Millard was unconvinced, but he said nothing. Instead, he gestured to the small pail of water on the table, filled with all kinds of medicinal herbs. “I know that our experiment with blessing water with healing magic failed,” he said with a rueful smile, “but I’m glad you managed to get some use out of it. Is it helping?”

“It’s keeping all of our herbs fresher for longer, so we can experiment more. It’s been a big help!” Theo grinned. He sat back on his stool, straightening his back until his spine cracked, making Millard wince. “We just need a bit more time. I know we can find a way to make our medicines work on these kinds of wounds. I know we can!”

Millard didn’t doubt him, but… Now that he was closer he could see the tiny trembles in the apothecary’s fingers, and the cleric wondered when Theo had last slept. Their excursion into hell had been two days ago. Surely he’d at least tried to sleep since then?

There was a polite cough from somewhere behind him, and Millard turned to see Hayes standing there, pestle and mortar in hand and an apologetic look on his face. The I’cirlo apothecary looked almost as tired as Theo. “I’m very sorry to disturb you,” he said softly, “but the latest batch of ointments with Waterweed and Lion’s Ear wasn’t very effective, either.”

Theo’s shoulders jerked as if he’d been hit, and he sighed deeply, scratching absently at his eyebrow. “Another failure,” he said slowly, before turning to Hayes. “Well, maybe the one with Lion’s Ear and White Skullcap will work better. We’ll figure something out.”

“That we will,” Hayes replied, and was that concern in the other apothecary’s tone? Had Hayes noticed the changes in Theo's condition, too? “I think I know what the answer will be, but… Do you want to take a break?”

Millard held his breath. Theo, bless his heart, at least seemed to give Hayes’ question some thought, and Millard could see how badly his body needed sleep, but his friend responded with a shake of his head.

“I just want to try one more thing, and then I’ll rest, I promise! Just one more thing,” he said, reaching over and plucking a stem of what might have been Antidock grass from a bundle on the table. “Maybe we’re not making the mixtures strong enough…”

“Theo, you really should rest,” Millard said, putting one hand on his friend’s shoulder. There must be a reason he was acting like this. It really was out of character for him, and that nagging sense of worry was starting to grow.

“I’ll be fine, Mill! Trust me, please?” Millard found it very hard to say no to Theo when he looked at him with pleading eyes like that. Beside him, Hayes gave his head a minute shake and gestured that they should both talk outside, and Millard nodded.

“Just this one, then,” he said, smiling at his friend, and Theo seemed relieved. “It’s getting late, so I can get you something to eat and drink, if you’d like?”

“That would be wonderful! Thank you, Millard!” Theo turned back to his work, breaking a dry stem of something brown into his pestle and adding the Antidock grass. “Like I said, this won’t take me long. Everything will be fine soon.”

Millard was grateful that Theo’s attention was fully on his work, so he didn’t notice the look of concern that he couldn’t stop from spreading over his face. He followed Hayes outside, and the chill evening air came as a surprise. Was it really that late already? He had lost track of time himself while he was inside the tent, so maybe that was what had happened with Theo, too?

“I hate to say it, but our beloved Chosen One is being rather troubling right now, isn’t he?”

Hayes’ voice was quiet, as if he didn’t want to be heard, and Millard could understand that. Even though they were basically isolated from others, a fair few of the Band’s clerics and apothecaries were here and neither man wanted word of Theo’s condition to get out.

If our enemies should find out that the Chosen One is working himself to death…

The thought came to Millard unbidden, and he shuddered.

“I worry for him. This is rather out of character for him, and I have no idea what has spurred this behaviour on,” Millard said, drawing his cloak around him. “I wish he would listen to reason. None of this is his fault.”

Hayes folded his arms across his chest, frowning thoughtfully. “I know for a fact that he has tried to sleep, but as far as I know that was the only time. He’s stayed awake this whole time, trying to figure out why our concoctions aren’t working.”

“It stands to reason,” Millard said, looking back at the tent. He was horrified at the thought that Theo was staying awake on purpose. “Wounds created by the poor creatures from that realm likely carry their own unholy stain, and it would surely take something more than just the herbs from our world to cure them.”

“I think he knows that. That’s why clerical healing works better here,” Hayes sighed. “The touch of the holy works too well against those ‘unholy’ wounds. It’s almost like it cleanses the darkness from them beforehand so it can heal them as normal.”

“But if he knows… Why isn’t he resting? He’s usually the first to say that he’ll work better when he’s had some sleep.” Millard couldn’t figure it out. “There must be a reason…”

“Cedric was there, the first time Theo tried to sleep,” Hayes told him, his eyes going to the other tent, where the clerics were helping to heal the wounded. “He was exhausted from his own stint at curing one of those soldiers, and even he couldn’t finish it in one go. He went back to rest, and he saw that Theo was having a bad dream.”

“A nightmare?” That actually made sense to Millard. If Theo had had such a bad dream, it would surely have kept him from trying to sleep again, especially when there was work to be done. Moreover, the more tired he got, the worse his judgement became, and so the cycle continued…

Hayes scratched his head. “I couldn’t tell you what it was about, but if he’s got any common sense left he’ll rest before he collapses. We can’t have the Chosen One suffering like this."

“I completely agree,” Millard replied, “but what can we do? I’ve tried asking him, but he just wants to continue working…”

“Leave it to me. One way or another, we will get him to rest,” Hayes said, and Millard didn’t really like the sound of that. He raised one hand as if to object, but Hayes merely shook his head. “Don’t worry. I know I have a reputation for taking action in rather… severe ways, but I won’t hurt him. Or threaten him. He does need to be convinced to look after himself a bit better, though.”

As doubtful as Millard was, there was truth to Hayes’ words. “Maybe I can convince him myself,” Millard said, feeling the cold start to prickle at him through his cloak. The temperature really did fall quickly in the Cliftlands once the sun went down.

“That’s the spirit,” Hayes grinned, patting him on the shoulder. “Between us, we’ll make sure Theo gets some sleep!”

“I hope so,” Millard said softly, turning his eyes heavensward. “I truly hope you’re right.”

Chapter Text

Millard stood outside the tent, his eyes fixed on the starry heavens above and letting the cool night air wash over him. He had only meant to stay out there for a few moments while he tried to figure out what to say to Theo, but he had clearly lost track of time again. There was just so much to think about, and none of it good.

What could he do to help Theo? What could he do about the wounds that wouldn't heal, for that matter? It was clear that Theo wouldn't be able to rest until he'd figured out the reason why their medicines weren't working, but if his own health was going to suffer further because of it…

Maybe Hayes was right.

With a sigh, he decided to focus on the small things, like making sure his friend was eating, at least. Millard had promised Theo some food, so with that in mind the cleric walked over to where Ramona and Madelaine had set up a small kitchen area, coming away with a plateful of hearty mutton stew, some fresh bread, and a mug of apple juice.

I wish I could help more than this… Millard thought, thanking the two women and heading back to the apothecaries' tent. I know he had the weight of the world put onto his shoulders because of the Ring, and it tests my faith at times that he has to bear so much alone even though we're with him, but… He sighed, and looked up at the sky again.

O Flamebringer… Surely there is yet more I can do? I do not wish to see him suffer. Millard looked down, closing his eyes as he acknowledged how he truly felt. Not just because he is so important to the world, but for my own sake.

I love him…

He really needed to try talking to Theo again. The apothecary was a reasonable man, so surely he'd listen this time? Millard turned and slowly walked back towards the tent, holding the flap open and peering inside. His eyes instantly went to Theo, and…

His friend was still working hard, trying to grind something up with mortar and pestle but clearly his energy was fading. He looked so frustrated, and Millard could see Hayes concentrating on something on the other side of the table, giving frequent concerned looks over at Theo.

There's no time like the present, Millard thought, squaring his shoulders and walking inside. He let the tent flap fall behind him, shutting out the night, and heading back over to where his friend worked.

"How are things going, Theo?" he asked, smiling as the apothecary looked up at him. "Any luck?"

Theo shook his head, putting the bowl down on the table with a sigh. "I really don't know what else to try," he lamented, looking up at him with an expression as close to hopelessness as Millard had ever seen on his friend's face.

"Well then, perhaps you might have more luck once you've had something to eat," he said, holding up the tray and letting Theo get a good look at it. The smell must have been too appetising for Theo to resist, since the apothecary instantly cleared a space on the table in front of him. He rubbed his hands together eagerly when Millard set the tray down, picking up the spoon and giving the cleric a grin.

"Thanks, Mill. I don't know what I'd do without you!" he said, and Millard felt his heart start to grow warm at the thought.

I certainly don't know what I'd do without you either, Theo, the cleric thought, pulling up a stool as his friend scooped up some mutton and barley and began to eat. They sat in silence for a while, and Millard let his mind wander as Theo focused on his food. He'd been aware of his feelings for his friend for a while now, but there was never the chance to say or do anything about it.

Even now, it wasn't the right time. There were far more pressing concerns, like solving this conundrum of why their medicines wouldn't work, or what they were going to do if they had to take on more battles in hell. With the black knight and his accomplice still out there, there was little time for matters of the heart.

And yet, there really is no better time, Millard mused, his eyes falling on the herbs in the bucket of blessed water. Life is so fragile, so fleeting… We may miss our chance entirely if…

He shook his head, trying to steer his thoughts away from a subject like that. Theo saw it and looked up, his eyes tired but curious, and Millard gave him a reassuring smile. "Sorry, I was just thinking about something," he said, but the curious look didn't leave Theo's eyes.

Millard looked away, hoping that he wasn't blushing. "It's a personal thing," he said, putting his earlier thoughts aside. "As much as I want to talk about it, I don't think we need to be distracted right now."

"You can't do that to me, Millard!" Theo laughed, shifting his spoon to his other hand and reaching out to poke Millard on the shoulder. "Now I really want to know!"

Fortunately, Millard was spared from answering by the arrival of Hayes, who nodded approvingly at the fact that Theo was eating. "Well, it's good to see you taking a break!" he said with a smile, setting down a mug of something warm in front of the other apothecary. "The food is good, but apple juice? If you like, Theo, I've got something here that will leave you feeling like you've had a good sleep. It's an old family recipe," he added, giving Millard a strange look.

"Oh? What's in it?" Theo asked curiously, and Millard silently echoed the question. "A stimulant? I'm not as familiar with ingredients from I'cirlo as you are… We should compare notes."

"Why don't you try it first? See if you can identify anything?" Hayes suggested mildly, and suddenly Millard felt like the other apothecary was up to something. He knew Hayes would never hurt Theo, but something didn't feel right.

Before he could raise any objections, though, Theo mopped up the last of the stew with the bread and popped it into his mouth, all the while giving Hayes a shrewd look. Surely Theo didn't think this was a challenge? He half raised one hand, but was stopped by the subtlest of looks from Hayes.

Oh no… Millard thought, watching as his friend picked up the mug and took a close look at it. On the surface, it looked like just another cup of tea, only darker, and the scent of something vaguely familiar drifted into the air. Don't tell me…

Theo narrowed his eyes, judiciously sniffing the brew and frowning. "There's something in here to mask the taste, isn't there?" he guessed, and Hayes merely smiled. "So it must be a rather pungent herb, then? Oh, wait, is this something we haven't thought of yet?" he looked up, his tired eyes hopeful. "If we could make sure we're all refreshed with this, we could work all night to find our cure!"

"Why don't you test it and find out?" Hayes replied.

"Hayes, please," Millard said, knowing exactly what would happen next. Surely Theo was far too tired to realise what Hayes was intending. "Why don't we just…"

"It's all right, Mill," Theo said softly, lifting the mug to his lips. He looked straight at Millard, his eyes unreadable. "It will be all right."

"Theo…"

The apothecary drank slowly, taking his time and pointing out the ingredients he thought he recognized as he went. Millard only recognized a couple of the guesses, but judging by Hayes' reaction Theo was pretty much spot on.

Which meant that Theo knew exactly what was going on.

Millard sought Theo's gaze, his eyes softening when he saw the first traces of Hayes' brew starting to affect him. He watched Theo hand the mug back to Hayes with a weary smile pulling at his lips, half of which was directed at Millard himself.

"Well?" Theo asked, clearly fighting back a yawn. "Did I get it right?"

"I should have known I wouldn't fool you," Hayes chuckled, shaking his head. But then why had Theo gone along with it, then? "There was one thing you did miss, though."

"Oh?" Theo did yawn this time. "What was that?"

"Mountain valerian root, albeit in powdered form," Hayes replied easily, folding his arms across his chest. "The I'cirlo variety is tasteless in that form, so I'd be surprised if you'd detected it, though," he added, nodding towards the empty mug. "Especially with the cinnamon I put in there."

"For dreamless sleep, huh?" Theo's head was starting to droop now. He let out a tired little laugh, his shoulders slumping dejectedly. "I really must be a mess. Forgive me, Millard…"

"There's nothing to forgive, Theo," Millard said kindly, although he did shoot a sidelong glance at Hayes, who merely shrugged, unrepentant.

"You know, I think I will take that rest now," Theo sighed, his voice slurring. He leaned back so suddenly that Millard jumped to steady him before he fell, but Hayes got there first. He scooped the other apothecary up into his arms and shook his head, a complication expression on his face.

"We both know he would have kept going until he collapsed," Hayes said quietly, turning to face Millard. "I said it before, but we can't have the Chosen One suffering because of this."

"Something must be bothering him…" Millard mused, unable to take his eyes off his friend's sleeping face. "The nightmare, perhaps? Regardless, while I'm glad he's finally resting, I can't say I approve of how it happened," he said blandly.

Hayes made an indelicate noise. "Would you rather I punched him?" Millard was horrified: the thought had never even entered his mind. "I thought so. I wouldn't have done it, don't worry, but we needed to do something. If we'd waited until he collapsed his condition might have been a lot worse."

Millard knew that Hayes was right, but still… It didn't sit well with him. None of them should be treating Theo like that. "It's just a horrible situation all round," the cleric said, touching Theo's face and casting a light healing spell over him. It wouldn't heal the accumulated fatigue, but it might help with any injuries the apothecary had picked up in the meantime.

"It is, and you can bet I'll be having words with Krauser about this." Millard had seen Hayes angry a couple of times before, but never like this. There was a tightly contained rage in the big apothecary's face, even though the hold he kept on Theo was gentle.

Once again, Millard was grateful that Hayes was on their side. Usually, his ire was saved for those who mistreated animals and monsters, but to see it directed at another ally was unusual. Clearly Hayes had extended his protection to all of them now.

Half of Millard wanted to see the confrontation between him and Krauser, but the other half didn't want to see any of them at odds at all.

"Come on," Hayes said kindly, breaking Millard out of his musings. He gestured to the rear of the tent, where a section had been curtained off for the apothecaries to sleep since none of them wanted to be far from their work. "Let's get Theo to bed and get some rest ourselves. With any luck, we'll be able to make some more progress in the morning."

"I hope you're right, Hayes," Millard said wearily. He started to clear up Theo's bowl and mug, but Hayes told him to leave it. Madelaine would be along soon to clear everything up, he was told, apparently insisting on it since she wasn't as involved in the healing process for the wounded soldiers. Instead, he followed Hayes to the rear of the tent and helped to get Theo settled, before pulling up a stool and sitting at the bedside.

"I still think you should get some sleep too, Millard," Hayes said, speaking softly so as not to wake the others. With a flick of his fingers, he used his fire magic to light a candle on the crate they were using as a bedside table, casting their little corner of the tent with a warm glow. "Don't worry. I don't have any concoctions or anything for you," he grinned, and Millard relaxed. "You're more sensible than our friend here. I'll leave you alone, but I'll be nearby if you need anything."

"Thank you, Hayes," Millard replied, feeling genuinely grateful. "And please, could you let us know if you make any breakthroughs with the medicines? I know it will probably be the first thing Theo asks about…"

"Don't worry. I will," Hayes told him, and then Millard was left alone.

In the candle's flickering light, the shadows beneath Theo's eyes seemed even darker, and he only hoped that Theo wasn't having any dreams right now. It certainly seemed as though the apothecary was so deeply asleep that he was far beyond the reach of nightmares, but Millard didn't want to take any chances.

He wanted to be there, just in case.

Theo deserved peaceful sleep, and maybe they could finally solve this awful mystery when he woke up. Then they could go home and recover, and pray that their enemies gave them enough time to recover before their next atrocity.

Maybe I can finally tell Theo how I feel, too, the cleric thought.

Chapter Text

"Millard? Mill? Are you all right?"

Millard tried to force his eyes open, but it was such an effort that he nearly gave up and went back to sleep. He heard a soft chuckle from nearby and wondered who it was, so he tried to summon a bit more energy, willing his eyes to open further than a crack. He needed to be awake for something important, but he couldn't quite remember what…

Theo!

It took a while for his exhausted body to accept his wide-awake mind's commands, but finally he managed to get his eyes open and he looked over to the bed, where Theo lay. Sure enough, the apothecary was conscious, and he looked a lot better for some sleep. Certainly, the dark circles under his eyes were still there but not as prominent, and Millard couldn't see any sign of the trembles that had beset him before.

But… How long had he slept for? Millard had only meant to close his eyes for a moment…

"Good morning, Theo," he said, wishing his voice didn't sound so thick with sleep. "At least, I think it's morning." It was rather hard to tell inside the tent as they were. "How do you feel?"

"A little put out with Hayes," the apothecary replied, wryly rolling his eyes, but there was no anger on his face. "We've already spoken about that. He visited a little while ago. But otherwise, though? I feel a lot better."

Hayes had already been to visit? Millard was surprised, but at least Theo had been in good hands. "I'm sorry, Theo. I didn't mean to fall asleep…"

"Don't worry about it, Mill," came the cheerful reply, but then his face fell. "We're all exhausted. I guess we'll all continue to be tired until we figure out how to cure these hell-tainted wounds."

Which meant he hadn't heard about any progress being made. Presumably Hayes would have told him earlier if they had been successful in finding a cure. Millard rubbed at his face, letting out a deep sigh and looking curiously at Theo. The apothecary did seem different, but…

"Theo, did you dream last night?"

At the mention of dreams, Theo looked away, his gaze suddenly fixed on a patch on the tent wall. Millard saw the way his shoulders suddenly tensed, and he wanted nothing more than to comfort his friend. He wanted to hold him in his arms and tell him everything would be all right.

That he loved him…

He remembered the conversation he wanted to have with Theo, wondering if he should tell him now, but the apothecary spoke instead. Millard had to lean closer just to hear it as Theo's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I didn't dream, not this time. You probably figured it out already, didn't you? That I didn't want to sleep because of the nightmares?" Millard nodded, and Theo let out a bitter little laugh. "It's so hard, being the Chosen One. So many people around me get hurt or die, so many times I've been hurt, and so many times that I've been powerless to do anything…"

"I dreamt that you got hurt, Mill, and my medicines wouldn't save you."

Millard drew in a breath sharply. He'd known for a while that Theo felt the weight of the world on his shoulders because of the role of 'Chosen One', but because he smiled all the time, it could be hard to gauge when he was genuinely struggling.

"I don't want anything to happen to you, Millard." Theo looked away again, his eyes back on that spot on the canvas wall. "I… Somewhere along the way, I developed feelings for you, Mill. I love you, and I thought I could keep it to myself, but these dreams…"

Theo loves me? Millard thought faintly, watching as Theo turned his gaze back towards the cleric. There was nothing but sincerity in those eyes, as if the apothecary was laying everything out for him to see, his entire heart on display for Millard and Millard alone. We feel the same way?

"In my dreams, we were in hell. We'd been separated from the others, and I watched as you got mauled by those unnatural monsters," Theo went on, and Millard found himself unable to look away. "You were bleeding everywhere… So many wounds… My medicines didn't work, and there was no-one else around…" he choked back a sob, making Millard flinch.

"I watched you die in agony, Millard," Theo gasped, his voice wavering as he recalled it. It must have been so fresh in his mind still, for it to affect him like this. "I couldn't even soothe your pain before… Before…"

"I didn't want to sleep, in case I saw that dream again. I think I'd break if I did…"

Millard found himself darting forward, knocking the stool over in his haste, wrapping his arms around Theo as best he could and drawing him close. Theo made a distressed noise against the cleric's shoulder as he hugged him back, and Millard just held him, comforting him. He had thought the dam would break at some point. No-one could bear that much alone, especially not with dreams like that.

The torment of hell had apparently affected them all, far more than they realised.

Perhaps it's time for me as well, Millard thought.

"You know, Theo, I was waiting for the right time, but… I love you, too," Millard whispered, and he felt Theo stiffen in his arms. "All this time, I thought it was respect or fondness, but I can't deny my feelings any more, especially not when you have also confessed yours to me."

"Wait… You, too?" Theo said, his voice muffled from where his face was buried against Millard's robe. The cleric pulled back a little, enough to look Theo in the eye, and he nodded. "Really?"

Millard smiled gently. "Truly. Whatever happens from now on, Theo, we'll face it together. If you want to, that is…"

"If I want to?" Theo's laugh was a bit watery, but the genuine cheerfulness was back in his voice, and Millard realised how long it had been since he'd actually heard that. "Mill, I want nothing more! You have no idea how much I've wanted this…"

"When this is all over," Millard said, looking meaningfully at the entrance into the main part of the apothecaries' tent, where all their research was taking place, "we'll find a little place just for us and just relax for a bit. We can take our time and celebrate our feelings… How does that sound?"

The prospect of spending time with Theo like that was already amazing to Millard, so when the apothecary nodded brightly he decided to try something. Slowly, so that Theo could turn away if he wanted, Millard moved in and placed a tender kiss on the apothecary's lips, full of meaning and love and…

He soon found himself swept up in Theo's enthusiastic response.

Millard didn't miss Hayes' knowing look when the two of them emerged from the sleeping area some time later, but the I'cirlo apothecary had the tact to not say anything. He did give them a congratulatory grin, though.

And indeed, Theo did seem a lot better for the rest. After some hearty food he declared himself fit enough to start on some light work, and this time Millard joined him. Technically, he was still supposed to be resting after his exertions from nearly overusing his magic, after all. However, if Theo found that Millard was doing more than his share of the manual work, like grinding up the harder ingredients, then he said nothing.

Millard could see the gratitude in his eyes, though.

The good news was that there had been no deaths among the soldiers during the night. The band's other clerics had been doing their best but they were starting to grow closer to exhaustion too, and soon they would need to either call for reinforcements among their other healers, or need a breakthrough in their research.

Requesting assistance from the Church was a last resort as well, especially since Krauser still wanted to keep all this a secret from the masses for now.

In the space of that afternoon, Theo had all but emptied the herbs from the bucket of blessed water they were using to preserve them. He turned them all into salves and potions and concoctions with a speed that almost worried Millard at the start, but when it truly seemed that Theo was all right, the cleric heaved a sigh of relief.

In fact, the only moment of tension had come when Krauser had stuck his head into the tent, demanding to know if any progress had been made. Hayes had been quite happy to take him outside and give him a report: Millard had even heard some of their conversation before they had moved further away, and he had been impressed at how fierce Hayes was.

The I'cirlo apothecary wasn't holding back at all.

The sun was just setting when the news finally came. Millard and Theo had stepped outside to get some fresh air after a hard afternoon's work, and they both looked around sharply when Ramona called over to them. She seemed excited, her long ponytail swaying as she ran over to them, eventually skidding to a halt and greeting them with bright eyes.

"All of the potions you made today worked!" she said breathlessly, taking Theo by the shoulders and giving him a light hug. "Every single one!"

"They did?" Theo sounded like he couldn't believe it at first, but at Ramona's insistent nod he drew in a hopeful breath. "They all worked?"

"They did! I've got to tell the others… They'll be so happy!" Ramona replied, giving Theo's hair a ruffle. "I don't know what you put in those concoctions, but they all started to work the instant they were applied. Everyone's doing much better!"

"That's wonderful news!" Millard said, feeling a weight of tension suddenly lift from his shoulders. He turned to Ramona and thanked her, his smile broadening as the woman grinned back and ran off into the apothecaries' tent to share the good news.

They stood there, shoulder to shoulder in the last of the evening sun, and Millard suddenly felt tentative fingers suddenly twine with his. It felt good to finally share his secret, but more than that, it felt amazing to have it reciprocated.

We're finally together, Millard thought, giving Theo's hand a gentle squeeze. And with the medicines finally working, that will be an immense amount of pressure off… Wait.

"Theo, the herbs you'd been preserving in that bucket of water I imbued with holy magic…" Millard began, turning to look at the apothecary. "Did you use any of them before today?"

"I…" Theo thought for a moment, rubbing his earlobe with his free hand, and Millard could almost see when the realization hit him. "Was it that? Did the plants absorb your magic through the water, and kept it when they were made into concoctions?"

"I think that might be the case," Millard replied, moving closer to Theo. "The magic they absorbed must have cleansed the wounds of all of hell's taint when they were applied, so your medicine could get to work!"

"A joint effort…" Theo murmured. Millard felt the apothecary lay his head against his shoulder, and they stood in silence for a while, just enjoying the peace. Millard was content to let him stay there as long as he wanted.

As far as he was concerned, he never wanted to them to be apart ever again.