Chapter Text
Sanji had been having a good day.
And that should have been his first warning.
The sun was out, the sea breeze was light and salty, Robin-chan had smiled at him during lunch, and not once – not once – had Luffy tried to wrestle him over food. Life was good.
And then Zoro ruined it.
Sanji had been leaning against the railing of the Thousand Sunny, cigarette between his lips, his coat draped over one shoulder. He’d been enjoying a rare quiet moment to himself on the usually loud ship.
Or at least he had, until Zoro appeared out of nowhere. This was already suspicious. Zoro didn’t normally seek him out unless there was something to fight, or some kind of smug grudge to nurse. But this time, the marimo had strolled over and just stood there beside him. Not talking. Not doing anything, just annoyingly present like a brooding mass of stupidly big muscles and bad timing.
Silence. Sanji let it stretch. He was good at silence. Especially when it meant not talking to Zoro.
Zoro, though, clearly had other ideas.
“I’ve been thinking”, the marimo said, like that wasn’t a terrifying sentence to hear from him.
Sanji narrowed his eyes. “God help us all.”
Zoro ignored him. “About you.”
Sanji turned his head slowly, as if any sudden movement might make the situation worse.
Zoro didn’t look at him. Arms crossed, he kept his gaze on the sea like it was safer than eye contact. “You’re annoying. Loud. Dramatic. And your brows are too curly.”
Sanji exhaled smoke. “Charmed.”
“But…” Zoro scratched the back of his neck. “You’re also… loyal. And strong. And kind of funny. Sometimes.”
Sanji blinked. His heart skipped a beat, then tripped, then went straight off the side of the ship.
“What are you doing”, he said flatly. It wasn’t even a question.
Zoro took a breath, sharp and fast like it hurt. “I like you.”
Sanji froze.
“…Sorry, what now.”
Zoro’s face was neutral. Too neutral. Suspiciously blank. Like he had either planned this moment for days or was experiencing some kind of brain hemorrhage. “You heard me, curlybrow. I like you”, Zoro said again, because apparently once wasn’t enough to completely ruin Sanji’s day.
“You can’t just say that like it’s a normal thing!” Sanji pointed at Zoro, as if he could scold the confession out of existence.
He ran a hand through his hair. “No. Nope. This isn’t what we do. You’re supposed to insult me. I’m supposed to insult you back. You can’t just change the rules like that!”
Zoro raised an eyebrow. “I’m not changing the rules. I’m just telling you how I feel.”
“You – feel things?!” Sanji practically yelled.
Zoro shrugged. “Occasionally.”
Sanji’s hands clenched. He looked anywhere but at the marimo. “You’re serious. You’re actually serious.”
“I am.”
“God. That’s so much worse.” Sanji made a strangled noise and Zoro frowned, like Sanji was the one being confusing.
“You’re freaking out.”
“I’m not freaking out!” Sanji said, aiming for casual and overshooting into vaguely hysterical.
“I just – you’re you! And I’m – me! You hate me!”
Zoro rolled his eyes. “I don’t hate you. I just think you're annoying.”
“See?! That’s not the beginning of a romantic declaration! That's what people say before a fight!”
“Maybe this is a fight”, Zoro muttered. “You just keep dodging.”
Sanji made a strangled noise and covered his face with both hands. “Why would you tell me this?! What am I supposed to do with that information?!”
Zoro tilted his head. “I don’t know. Feel something? Or not. I don’t care. I just wanted to say it.”
Sanji physically shivered. “This is psychological warfare. That’s what this is.”
They stood there, tension crackling in the air.
Sanji peeked between his fingers. Zoro was still standing there, looking like he regretted everything but also had no intention of taking it back.
Sanji’s brain was a screaming mess. His heart was trying to rewrite itself. His mouth, traitorous bastard, moved before his thoughts could catch up.
“…You like me?”
“Yes.”
“You’re in love with me.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you’re thinking it.”
Zoro shrugged. “Maybe.”
Sanji dropped to sit on the deck with a thud, head in his hands.
“You call me names.”
Zoro sat down next to him, arms resting on his knees. “So do you.”
“You threaten me with your swords.”
“You ask for it.” Zoro frowned. “I thought if I said it clearly, you’d get it.”
“Well, I got it! Loud and clear and emotionally devastating! Mission accomplished, you brute!”
Another pause.
“…So is that a no?” Zoro asked, voice a little too casual.
Sanji groaned and leaned back until he was staring up at the sky like it owed him an explanation, muttering French curses under his breath. “It’s a – I don’t know what it is! It’s too much! You’re you! You snore like a war crime and you sharpen your swords at 3 a.m. and you don’t even know how to fold laundry!”
Zoro looked deeply unbothered. “But you still put up with me.”
Sanji ran both hands through his hair. “That’s called tolerance, not romance!”
Zoro shrugged. “Just saying.”
Sanji opened his mouth. Closed it. Tried again.
“You’re the worst”, he muttered.
Zoro didn’t reply, but the rare, small smile on his face said he’d heard – and maybe even understood.
And that was the most terrifying part.
--
Sanji avoided Zoro for three days.
It was difficult, considering they lived on a boat, but Sanji had gotten creative. He started using doors he hated, scheduled kitchen prep when he knew Zoro would be napping, and developed a sixth sense for incoming moss-heads.
The problem was that Zoro didn’t stay avoided.
He didn’t chase Sanji around the ship or make dramatic declarations (thank god), but he was there. Lounging nearby. Popping up in doorways. Sitting in the kitchen like a human statue while Sanji tried very, very hard not to scream into a mixing bowl.
It was driving him insane.
He was not thinking about the confession. Or Zoro’s stupidly serious face. Or the way he hadn’t taken it back. Or the way Sanji had kind of, sort of, not entirely said no.
He was not thinking about any of that.
Until he walked into the men's quarters late one night and found Zoro sitting on his hammock, shirtless, like a living threat to emotional stability.
Sanji froze.
Zoro looked up from where he was cleaning his sword. “You done ignoring me? Was beginning to think you’re allergic to honesty.”
Sanji narrowed his eyes. “I’m allergic to you.”
Zoro nodded, completely unfazed. “Still not a no.”
Sanji groaned, kicking the door shut behind him. “What do you want from me?! I didn’t sign up for this!”
Zoro raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t say no.”
“I said nothing!”
“That’s not no.”
“I was malfunctioning!” Sanji paced the room like it was his last hope for dignity. “You can’t take that as a yes!”
Zoro watched him for a beat. “Then say no now.”
Sanji turned, opened his mouth–
And nothing came out.
Zoro tilted his head, just slightly. “Thought so.”
Sanji spun on his heels. “You are infuriating.”
Zoro snorted. “You’re dramatic.”
“I deeply dislike how your face makes me feel things.”
“You always call me names but never mean them.”
“I—okay, well, that’s barely true—”
Zoro didn’t blink. “You keep track of how much water I drink.”
Sanji gestured wildly. “Because you’re a dehydrated moron!”
Zoro smirked. “So you do care.”
Sanji made a noise so strangled it could only be described as a soul attempting to flee the body. “You are the most aggravating man I have ever met”, he hissed, stalking closer, “and I swear on the All Blue, if you say one more thing, I’m kicking you out the window.”
Zoro stood, suddenly too close. “Try it. We’re below deck.”
Sanji shoved him. Zoro didn’t move.
“I hate this”, Sanji muttered.
“Liar.”
“I hate you.”
“Not convincing.”
“I–” Sanji’s voice cracked. “ –don’t not like you.”
Zoro blinked. “That sounded dangerously close to a yes.”
Sanji jabbed a finger into his chest. “Fine. Yes. There, I said it. Are you happy now?!”
Zoro smiled. Real. Small. Stupid.
Sanji scowled harder. “Wipe that look off your face or I’ll take it back.”
“You can’t take it back. It’s mine.”
“Oh my god.”
A long pause.
Then–
“…So”, Zoro said. “What now?”
Sanji stared at him. “You want this to be a thing? For real?”
Zoro shrugged. “Might as well. We’re already halfway there.” A pause. “Do you want to?”
Sanji threw his hands in the air. “I don’t know. I want you to stop making me say things!”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Sanji narrowed his eyes. “…You’re bad at this.”
“So are you.”
“You’ll make a terrible boyfriend.”
“You’ll be worse.”
They stared at each other.
Then – at the exact same time–
“Fine”, Sanji snapped.
“Fine”, Zoro grunted.
A beat passed.
“…Does this mean we are dating now?” Sanji asked, horrified.
“Guess so.”
Sanji groaned. “This is a mistake.”
“Probably.”
Sanji sighed like someone accepting a prison sentence. "This is going to be a disaster.”
He shoved past Zoro to get to his bunk. Once there, he flopped down onto it and grumbled into the covers, face hot, heart racing. Zoro dropped onto his own bunk, arms behind his head, grinning into the ceiling like he’d just won a fight.
Silence settled between them.
Then, quietly –
“…You really like me?” Sanji asked the ceiling.
Zoro answered without hesitation. “Yeah.”
Sanji buried his face in his pillow.
“God, this is the worst.”
Zoro chuckled.
Sanji turned his face just enough to mumble, “I swear to god, if you hold my hand, I’ll break your fingers.”
“Is this your idea of flirting?”
“SHUT UP.”