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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-08-20
Updated:
2025-11-01
Words:
985
Chapters:
4/7
Comments:
14
Kudos:
12
Bookmarks:
2
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207

Sold to Bruce Wayne for drug money

Summary:

Savannah was a normal teenage girl. Or, she was as normal as a teenage girl with a drug addict mom can be. What will happen when her world is turned upside down when her mom sells her to One Direc- Bruce Wayne?

This is literally a joke y’all istg-

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: My mom sold me to who???

Chapter Text

I woke up at 7:00 am. On the dot. I curled my hair and washed my face. I’ll take a shower before I go to bed tonight. I walk downstairs to see my mom high on the couch counting dollars in our emergency cash bin. ‘Brat!’ She screamed at me. ‘Don’t go to school today I need you for something!’ I sit on the couch next to her. She takes out her phone and takes my picture. From what I see she submits it to a form. We sit in silence for 45 minutes. She gets an email. ‘Savannah, pack your stuff and put some makeup on. I sold you to Bruce Wayne.’

What??

‘Mom! Did you sell me to a millionaire for drug money??!!’ I yell at her.

‘No. I sold you to a billionaire for drug money.’
Just then, the doorbell rings and an ancient-looking British dude walks in.

‘Are you Savannah?’ He asks me. I nod. ‘I’m your new butler, Alfred Pennyworth. Master Wayne requests your presence.’ I tell him about how I didn’t pack and he says that that will be taken care of. We walk to his fancy-ass limo and drive 2 hours to a spooky-wooky manor.

Chapter 2: Rough first day

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The Penny-Brit guy unlocked the front door and I was fucking BOMBARDED with old money putridity.(that’s now a word guys) I was shown to my room which was bare so I new I was gonna use my probably massively growing bank account to buy new decor.

A few hours passed while I was scrolling on TikTok and a guy about my age walked in.
‘Dinner’s read-‘ he began to say but I cut him off.
‘Dude you look like you haven’t seen the light or the bed in YEARS.’ I told him.
‘I just told you dinner’s ready?’
‘What’s your name?’
‘Uh…Tim. You?’
‘Savannah…’

He left looking confused, which makes sense since most people think my thought-to-speech patterns are weird. I think that’s because I have secret calling that I haven’t found yet. Others say that’s because I’m neurodivergent.

At the dinner table I met the big man himself…Bruce Wayne…and his fuckton of kids. I was introduced to everyone and everyone was introduced to me. It was as awkward as when Demi Moore ignored that rich lady at the golden globes.

The kid I ended up getting closest to that evening was Dick, the oldest. Probably because he wouldn’t stop yapping so I just knew a lot about him.

After dinner, I went to bed because I did NOT wanna interact with these people. I was literally sold to them?? And I was certain they were hiding something.

At 2 am I heard faint rustling in the trees, which was weird because there was literally no wind here and I saw a small figure that looked like they were trying to cosplay all three Heathers at once. Then they turned towards the light slightly. And I was like ‘holy shit! Damian!’

Notes:

I’m too sleep deprived for ts

Love yall tho

Chapter 3: Yeah these people are weird asf

Notes:

legitimately so sorry for forgetting to post school and shit…y’all get it…anyways love yall :)

Chapter Text

I open the window and yell, ‘Damian??!’ The bitch ignores me and skedaddles into the night. I gaslight myself into having just imagining it and go to sleep.

The next morning, I wake up at seven am for some reason. (My sleep schedule is incredibly fucked.) I head downstairs for Frosted Flakes or something and only Alfred is down there. The doorbell rings and Mom always has me answer the door at home because she was too lazy to get it herself, so I go get the door. Before Alfred can stop me, I open it. There’s this kid wearing a Superman hoodie (nerd) and these fuckass glasses that is around Damian’s age I think. Alfred politely shoves me out of the way and lets the kid inside. He addresses the kid, ‘Master Wayne is in the downstairs, Mr. Kent.’ The Kent kid skedaddles away but before he can go to the vague “downstairs” I stop him. ‘Who the fuck are you?’ I ask. That causes Alfred to develop a twitch in his eye. ‘Damian’s friend.’ The kid answers with a somewhat forced smile. ‘Damian has friends??’ I ask. ‘Yeah’ he says with a polite laughs and fucking SPRINTS away. I finish my Frosted Flakes after going back to the kitchen and ask Alfred for directions to the library.

I don’t actually go to the library, I go downstairs. After two flights, I end up in the basement and walk down the hallway and find a door slightly askew. In the room, which is just a normal workout room for the most part has Damian and his ‘friend’ fucking FIGHTING each other and I walk right back out and head to my room. Up there, I call my girlfriend and tell her about this whack ass place.

Chapter 4: Start of Rescue Plan atp

Summary:

rlly sorry for not updating in two months! School has kicked my ass

Chapter Text

‘Okay…you think that the family that adopted you are secretly ninjas working for the government of Canada.’ Lianna says through the phone. ‘What the genuine fuck?’
I respond to her. ‘Okay dude hear me out. Damian is like five years old-‘
‘Google says he’s twelve.’
‘Still too young for the shit he’s doing. AnywAYs, I saw him sneaking out with a mask on and a weird as hell outfit. And when his friend came over I caught them fighting like ninjas would!’
‘Do you know how ninjas fight?’
‘No, but they had those weird staff things!’
‘Sav, I think you’re overreacting. Rich people always put their kids in weird sports.’
‘Is ninjafighting a sport?’
‘Karate is.’
‘I don’t think you have weapons in karate.’
‘Again. Rich people are whack. You’ll be fine.’
‘Remember how you used to talk about rescuing me from my mom?’
‘Yeah, but I couldn’t cause of the… incident’
‘Yeah. You could pick me up here! I could live with you and your dad.’
‘I mean…sure. But how am I supposed to get by Wayne security?’
‘I have a plan.’
‘Of course you do, Sav.’

Notes:

Thanks for reading ig

Updates every one-two days hopefully idek