Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a rough victory; there was no denying that. After desperately fighting off the other team, Squirrel Girl had gotten her new Asgardian squirrel friend to stop Dracula’s barrier, letting them be able to sweep in and take him out. The only reason Loki had even agreed to help was because the creature was from Asgard and so he saw himself slightly responsible to help, if nothing to make him look better as a ruler. (definitely not because he cared about its safety)
Doreen had thanked him profusely despite her earlier doubts of his intentions. She proceeded to talk his ear off for a while before spotting Ultron and running off to bother the robot instead. He sighed in relief and began to walk off himself before spotting a familiar face, Mantis.

There were few people who normally called him out on his lies and Mantis was one of them. She would often just stare at him for a while before smiling at him and walking off. Whenever he told a lie she'd often correct him with such accuracy it sometimes scared him. He would be lying yet again if he said that she didn't intrigue him. The way she always seemed off in her own world, her kind nature and her quickness to call him out had caught his eye, not to mention she looked amazing in green. He straightened up his fur and fixed his hair before walking over.

When he approached, Mantis was kneeling, staring at a lone flower growing inside the cracked concrete beneath them. She hadn't even looked up before sensing his presence.

“Hello Loki.” she said not even bothering to look up at him, her attention still on the flower.

“My dear you address me so casually. Don't you know I am still a god?” he teased, if he was being honest, he really didn't mind her calling him simply by Loki.

“You don't mind; I can tell. Come here, look at this flower with me.” she motioned to the space next to her.

“A god does not kneel before a flower.” he soughed.

“But isn't it pretty? And growing so strongly despite it being in between stones.” Loki took a good look at the flower. It grew wedged between the stone, yet it had still grown strong and tall reaching out for the sun.

“I suppose there is some beauty in that.”

“Right? It's still so beautiful even though it grew in such harsh conditions.” She waved her hand over the flower, a slight glow emanating as her power flowed through the plant making it stand up even stronger. She rose to her feet and finally faced him.

“You did well my dear Mantis, a vital asset on the battlefield. Your assistance was greatly appreciated.” he thought back to a moment in the fight when one of their enemies had targeted him, nearly taking him out before Mantis had made her way over with Squirrel Girl healing him while Doreen took out the enemy.

“Ultron did not seem to be happy that the three of us were healing.” Mantis expressed, thinking for a second. Loki remembered the robot's remarks on how the three of them were “illogical” since "statistically only two are needed to heal” but he brushed it aside.

“Let the tin think whatever he'd like. I quite enjoyed having you with me.” He added a quick smirk to solidify his cheap attempt at flirting, after all it made sense, he'd want to befriend the alien. According to what he had overheard from that Phoenix woman she had once been a celestial Madonna, having her on his side could be useful for no other reason… right?

“You seem conflicted about something.” she said softly tilting her head a little getting closer to him. Loki instinctively backed up, his face going a little red before he caught himself and put on a cheap smirk.

“Yes, I'm conflicted about some godly duties I have later nothing more.”

“No, you're conflicted about how you feel about someone.” Loki's face went completely red, so he quickly turned away to hide it.

“Thats not the case at all! Your powers are betraying you, making you see things incorrectly. Gods do not concern themselves about how they feel about lower beings!”

“Are you telling that to me or yourself?” she asked, smiling slightly as if she was pleased to see him all flustered. This set him off.

“I'm leaving now, believe whatever you want alien, I don't care, I'm a god, I don't concern myself with what bugs like you think of me!” he stormed off not quick enough to miss Mantis speaking softly to herself.

“Another lie…”

Chapter Text

The next time Loki saw Mantis was after yet another battle, this time on Yggsgard, his land. The others had already gone to celebrate their victory, but Mantis lingered behind taking in the scenery. Loki couldn't help but gaze at her for a moment. She always looked so serene when she was admiring plants, but he quickly pushed the thought out of his head instead thinking of their last interaction. It wouldn't be useful for him to leave them on bad terms, so he'd offer an apology. Not a real genuine one, he tried to convince himself just one that would ensure she stayed in his favor if she was ever useful. Yeah, that's it, that was the only reason.
He tried his best to think of a good way to apologize, rehearsing it quietly. He summoned some flowers in his hand to give her because it would convince her more to forgive him, definitely not because he wanted to see her smile.

“Ah there you are, I figured I'd give you my apologies, not too basic. My dear Mantis, it seems we've gotten the wrong impression of each other. Not too formal. Come on, Loki, think!”

“Think about what?” Loki let out a little scream as the girl suddenly appeared behind him. He quickly collected himself before holding out the flowers to her.

“For you!” he said rather quickly, his face still a little flustered.

“Oh!” she gently took them from him, her hands gently brushing against his. She held them up to her face and sniffed them, “they are so lovely!”

“Yes, well I thought I'd apologize. I behaved poorly last time we spoke, and I didn't want you to think badly of me.” he swallowed harshly after saying that.

“You're telling the truth? How unlike you.” she smiled down at the flowers. “I like you better when you're telling the truth.” Loki's expression changed to one of shock before he turned his head covering it with his hand pretending to cough.

“I'll keep that in mind I suppose.”

“You know Loki,” Mantis smiled, looking a little mischievous, “if you really wanted to make it up to me, I have a suggestion.”

Every single nasty thought in all the nine realms crossed his mind for a split second before he pushed it away quickly and turned to her his face a little red still.

“Well go ahead then I’ll see if it's within my power and my willingness to do this suggestion of yours.”

“I heard a rumor that you have a private garden! Can I see it!” Loki's face changed to complete shock. How could she have possibly known about his garden? That's impossible! The only person who knew about it was… actually that made sense, it was his fault for thinking Thor could keep a secret.
Mantis smiled at his shocked expression.

“Don't worry Thor only told me because he knows how much I like plants. He said you grow all of them yourself! Is that true?” Loki nodded a little embarrassed.
“Yes, it's true but I'll be honest it's not exactly a grand garden its... Well, it's nothing special; you don't want to see it.”

“No, I'd love to see it! I bet it looks great even if you aren't a gardening master!” She did her best puppy dog eyes, and damn did it work on him; she looked absolutely adorable.

“Fine then I’ll permit you to see it if it would mean no more bad blood in between us.”

“Yes, that would be great!” she excitedly cheered, her antennae lighting up with her excitement.

He led her through his castle navigating twists and turns while trying to impress her, telling her the stories of the paintings and objects on display.

“And this one's from a battle with my brother that I so easily won.”

“Thats not what he told me?”

“Then I suppose he's a liar too.” she raised an eyebrow. “Okay maybe my victory wasn’t as flawless as I said it was.” she crossed her arms. “Okay maybe I didn't win at all but who's keeping track of those sorts of things!” she giggled in response.

When they reached the garden Loki stood at the doors for a moment.

“Promise me you won't tell anyone about this?” he asked his voice a little shyer sounding then his normal boastful tone.

“I promise!” she smiled and mockingly saluted at him. Loki sighed and opened the doors begrudgingly putting his trust into her, something not so easily earned from the god of lies.

Chapter Text

The garden wasn't anything special really, heck calling it a garden might have been an overstatement. It was a small fenced off area outside with dirt lining the sides, small barely growing plants were peeking out of the dirt on some parts while in others there were flowers that looked underwatered and slightly droopy. Some plants that mantis could only guess were some kinds of Asgardian vegetable grew on vines that looked a little dried up from the sun, the small vegetables growing on them barely the size of her hand. The overall feel was very homey to the Mantis. This wasn't a grand garden that would be expected of a king, but rather someone's personal garden that they had started with very little experience.

“You grew them yourself, didn't you?” she asked with a smile plastered on her face.

“Yes, I don't let anyone else on the staff see it, you and Thor are the only ones I've given the privilege of seeing it.” Mantis couldn't help but notice he sounded almost embarrassed. As an empath she could feel his feelings and the feelings he got from him was just that, embarrassment.

“Don't sell yourself short this is a great garden.” Loki huffed.

“Don't lie to me. I know it's terrible. I tried to do it all myself but I'm no gardener.” he crossed his arms looking down. “It was a mistake to even try. I’m a king, I shouldn't indulge such stupid whims like this.” Mantis's face fell.

Mantis looked around the garden, her eyes falling upon a single flower that wilted down. She took a deep breath and held her hand out a soft glow emanating as she used her powers. The plant began to perk up again making her smile, she closed her eyes and the glow got brighter spreading to the plants nearby until the garden looked full of life, the buds looking healthy and ready to bloom soon, the newer plants happily sticking up ready to grow and the once sun ravished plants now looking health again.

“It just needed a little help.” She stood back up and looked at him with a large grin on her face. Loki's expression was one of shock, he did not speak for a moment looking down solemnly.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you help?” he yelled looking up, his emotions were strong she could feel them hit her as he spoke, his voice growing louder as he stepped closer to her. “Why do you insist on trying to see through me? Every time we meet you keep insisting there's more than what I am!”

“Who do you think you are?”

“Think? I know what I am! I'm the god of mischief and a king! I tell lies to get what I want out of people and that's it! I don't care about them; they are beneath me! You are beneath me!”

“Then why am I here?” Loki stopped in his tracks at her retort. She was right. If she had meant nothing to him, why was she here? Why had he been so willing to let her in his garden? A place so private only his brother had seen.

“Get out.”

“Loki I can help you-”

“I SAID OUT!” he yelled pointing towards the door. Mantis jumped back a little at his sudden scream. “Just leave me alone, I'm a liar and that all will ever be there's nothing you can do to change that.” Mantis nodded and walked off taking one last look at him before she left, she could feel the self-loathing and hatred that was so overwhelming she could taste it in her mouth.

“I don't think that's true.” She gently closed the door and exited.

Chapter Text

Loki stormed into his room and slammed the door like an emotional teenager, items on his desk falling to the floor.

How dare she, how dare she. He was a god! Not some mortal that couldn't keep themselves together! He knew exactly who he was!

Loki turned to the mirror, he looked unkempt, his hair frizzed up, his eyes looking around crazily, he was a mess.

“I am a god I don't need her foolish input!” he put his foot down, his face heating up. “What would she know anyways? She's just a mortal and I don't care whether she lives or dies.” he felt like he was starting to suffocate. “I DON'T CARE!” he yelled, still staring at himself in the mirror.

The further he looked into his own eyes the more desperate he saw himself. He wanted to believe what he was saying so badly but for some reason he couldn't, and it angered him. His fist shook the longer he stared. For a brief moment he saw his skin start to change into its true-blue color, his eyes widened, and his anger peaked smashing his hand into the mirror, glass flying around him. He stood there a moment, blood dripping down his hand and onto the floor, slowly pooling around him. He walked silently to his bed and sat down, the only sound the ticking of the clock on his wall.

Once he had been sitting for a good moment, he raised his hand to look at it. The blue color was gone but the glass had left a myriad of cuts in its wake leading to blood running down. If Mantis were there, she probably would have scolded him for being careless and healed it, it would've felt better than ever, but she wasn't there, it was just him and he did nothing about it. There was slight comfort in the pain for him. It was a familiar feeling he had felt a million times before; it was the fights he used to have with Thor, the feeling after pushing himself training, the sensation before his mother would come and heal it for him. He tried to find more comfort in it for just a little longer, but it fell short. The little high he got from feeling was gone and all it left behind was dread. He could feel a voice in the back of his head getting louder, the voice he had always tried to silence with his arrogant boasts and performative self-importance.

You're nothing. You have no one. You are alone, just as you deserve to be. No one's going to notice if you're gone and if they do, they're happy they'll never see you again. You're nothing but a liar.

The words grew louder the longer he stared at his injury and after what seemed like eternity he lowered the hand. He was nothing, and he was alone. He had
pushed away everyone who had tried to help him and now he was left with nothing.

He was only snapped out of his thoughts by a knock at his door.

“Your majesty, it's time for dinner.” Loki quickly cleaned himself up, healing the cuts, slicking back his hair and putting on his usual persona.
“I'll be there soon.” he replied. The footsteps at the door receded.

As he walked out of the room he took one last look at the broken mirror on the floor. The shards formed his reflection, and it whispered back to him.
You are nothing but a liar.

—-----------------
Mantis couldn't help but feel worried as she got back on the Guardians ship. Loki seemed… off. Something was clearly eating at him, and it was strong. The taste of his self-loathing and misery was still in her mouth long after the encounter, she'd never felt something so strong.

“Something on your mind, Mantis?” Peter asked, interrupting her thought.

“I think a friend of mine needs help, but I don't know what to do.” Mantis sighed. She felt helpless. Even if Loki was a compulsive liar as well as arrogant and rude she couldn't help but be drawn to him, there was something more to him, something she had seen no matter how much he pushed it away.

“Now that's shocking! You always seem to know how to make people feel better.”

“I guess so, but I don't think it'll be that easy this time. What if I’m not enough to fix it?” Peter sat beside her, putting his hand on her back.

“You'll figure it out I promise. Sometimes these things take time but as long as you're there for them I'm sure you'll help them out.” Peter smiled at her and Mantis smiled back.

“Thanks Peter.”

“It's nothing, now let's go eat dinner, okay? I'm starved!”

Mantis followed the others as everyone excitedly made their way to the ship's dinner table. Her thoughts however were still on Loki; would she be able to help him or was he already too far gone? No, no one is past saving, she was going to help him, she swore it.

Chapter Text

The next time the two saw each other was on the battlefield again thankfully on the same team. When Loki spotted her, he didn't look her way again, no matter how many friendly waves or how large the gestures she made trying to grab his attention. The entire battle he would make a point to get away from her going so far as to avoid her when he needed healing. He would simply put a clone out and retreat into the darkness to find health somewhere else leaving the Mantis wondering where he was.

After punches upon punches had been thrown and Galacta declared them the winners, Loki made his swift retreat trying to make his way back as quickly as possible without Mantis following him. Loki crept towards the shadows almost there until Thor grabbed him and pulled him into a crushing hug.

“Get off you buffoon!” he yelled, trying his best to wiggle his way out.

“Brother! You've been so quiet today! You hardly acknowledged our lady bug friend.” Thor pointed over to the mantis who stood nearby waiting her turn to speak to him politely.

Great, just great.

Once Thor finally put Loki down, he dusted himself off and turned to Mantis ignoring the pit in his stomach and putting on a fake charismatic smile.

“Mantis, I didn't expect to see you today! Unfortunately, I must make it back to my kingdom there is matters for me to deal with.”

“You're lying, you just want to avoid me!” Mantis huffed. “I want to talk about what happened in the garden Loki.” the pit in his stomach grew wider. Thor sensed the tension and held his hands up walking away to give them space. Loki grit his teeth as he watched the other all scurry off at the sight of the tension.

“What about the garden? As far as I remember you accused me of some silly matters and we had a disagreement, that's all.”

“That's not all that happened! You asked me something and I have an answer now.”

“What do you mean? I didn't ask you anything!” Loki felt himself getting angrier by the moment.

“You asked me why I helped you and I have an answer now.”

“Haven't you ever heard of a rhetorical question bug? Hasn't that fake family of yours taught you how to have a proper conversation?” Mantis could feel he was desperately grasping at anything to upset her, anything to get her to stop, he didn't want to hear this, but she needed to tell it to him.

“I helped you because I care! Because you're my friend! You would never have invited me to that garden if you didn't care to!” Mantis felt her voice breaking as she took in the emotions around her, all that there was the feeling of bitter self-loathing and hate. Loki felt the scars on his arm ache. “Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Pushing away the people who want to show you kindness! Who want to get to know you, not the mask you put on to hide yourself behind!”

“BECAUSE WHO THE HELL WOULD CARE ABOUT HIM?” Loki screamed. The windows around them shattered and the room grew colder. “Who the hell cares about the liar and manipulator who just wants to use people for his own gain? Who wants to befriend the murderer and betrayer that only cares about himself? Who the hell gives a damn about the frost giant pretending to be an Asgardian whose own parents didn't want him!”

The room went quiet. Loki's breathing was heavy, his chest felt like it weighed a million pounds, like he was suffocating under his own weight. He could feel tears falling down his face, but he didn't dare move to wipe them away, he just stood still with his head down. He expected Mantis to leave, to give up on him for once just like everyone else. The silence of the room was enough evidence for him that she would leave so he turned away to go but stopped when he heard the sound of running then the feeling of a body crashing into his.

Mantis wrapped her around Loki's back, hugging him close, holding on as tightly as she could.

“I could.” she mumbled “I could care.”

Loki's hand gently found hers, his fingers brushing against it. When was the last time someone had hugged him like this? Thor hugged him often, but this didn't feel the same, this hug had the feeling of something he hadn't felt in a long time. This was the feeling of Freya's hug, the hug she would give him when he had a nightmare or the hugs, she would give him before she went away for a bit. This was the feeling of someone who really cared, of someone promising they'd be there just like his mother had done before, a feeling he had thought was long since gone.

Mantis had almost gone to pull away fearing he wasn't liking it but she was instead met by Loki quickly turning himself around and hugging her tightly, holding her as if she would vanish any moment. She could feel his tears falling down on his ice-cold skin, its blue hues beginning to show on the sides of his face and the tips of his fingers. Mantis smiled, the feeling of nostalgia mixed in with the others in the air.

“What are you doing to me? Are you using your powers to weaken me?” he asked, his voice broken and muffled by her shoulder.

“I didn't use my power on you.” Mantis said quietly as she began gently stroking his hair. “This is all you but don't worry, it's our secret.” he sniffled.

“So, you won't use this?” he asked. Mantis smiled.

“No, it's our secret, okay? Take all the time you need.” His eyes flashed at the words with recognition. The memories of him begging Freya not to tell Thor about him crying came back, she'd say the same words to soothe him. He relaxed more into her.

“Thank you.”