Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Darrel Curtis remembers his parents in the way a man remembers his dead wife in a movie, Flashes of laughter and joy, moments of quiet and a feeling of warmth played in his mind to a sad song. He sees his mother holding an infant Ponyboy, his father playing catch with him and Sodapop in the yard, he smells cinnamon and lavender and when his eyes open it’s all gone. 

The house Darry has managed to rent is small, two bedrooms, one bath, a living room and a kitchen, a small fenced in front and back yard and that's that, But its home and with two twin sized beds in the master bedroom it’s enough space for him and his brothers… or it will be when he finally gets to bring his brothers home. It’s been an uphill battle, one multiple people told him he was going to lose. "Go to college Darry’ ‘You haven’t seen your brothers in years, why waste your time?’ ‘Do you really want to spend your youth looking after your brothers?”

Does he want to spend his youth looking after his brothers instead of going to college? Well no of course not, sometimes he thinks it’s selfish, wanting to live his own life and not worry about them. But his state paid therapist said it was natural, to want those things, to wish his parents were alive and life was fair and he could just live. But life isn’t fair, his parents are dead and there’s no point in living in a world where he doesn’t even know what his brothers look like. Sodapop and Ponyboy are the only family he has and he’ll die before he abandons them.

“Ladies and Gentleman Darrel Curtis exactly where I left him last night!” The door opens just as loudly as it shuts and Darry doesn’t have to look to know it’s Twobit back from his late night of drinking at the drive-in and Bucks. “You should’ve gone with me man, you missed out.”

Darry rolls his eyes as Twobit flips himself over the back of the couch, landing next to him with a huff. “Missed out on drinking?”

Twobit grins “And other stuff”

Darry stands, rolling his shoulders and ignores the part of him that wishes he had gone out last night “I’m making cake, you gonna help me or sit here like a bum?”

“A bum? Me?” Twobit makes himself comfortable on the couch. “Never.”

By the time the cake is iced and ready to serve the house is full, Twobit laying on the ground, Steve, Johnny and Dallas on the couch, Darry settled in his chair. He’s lucky for them, his little gang. When they’re not around the silence threatens to drown Darry, pull him under and strangle him. The group home was never quiet, and the foster houses when he was placed in them were just as loud, they were only ever emergency placements. Once when the group home burned down, another time when they thought a family might like to adopt him in a different state. Never permanent, never for long. The group home had been it for Darry, they’d tossed him in and left him to rot. But it was better than the kids who went back and forth, better than the ones taken in with greed and spat back out with hate.

At least he’d had food, a bed though no private room, clothes on his back even if they were a size too small. No presents at Christmas, his birthday a nonissue, but a roof over his head. It was good enough. Good enough that he wasn’t hit, not like the other kids he saw- his bruises were from soc fights and football.

He worried then and he worries now that his brothers haven’t been as lucky as he was. He thinks about the kids he met, the ones with ghosts in their minds and a far away look in their eyes, the ones who flinch when you get too close or move too fast to grab food, afraid of not having enough and he hopes that isn’t his brothers… Will he even recognize them? When he finally holds them again will they be strangers with the same blood? 

He finds out a month before he turns nineteen. He’s not sure how or why but after months of court visits, home visits, more court visits and lots and lots of paperwork his brothers are finally coming home. Not today, today they’re just visiting, meeting in the park that stands too close to the West side to be comfortable. But it’s progress. Big progress… and at the very least they're in Tulsa now, moved to a temporary foster home until the visits are over and Darry is cleared to bring them home. One more month... What’s one month when Darry has been waiting eight years?

The spring air is heavy today, it’ll rain soon but only after the hour Darry gets to spend with his brothers. It’s not exactly how he’d imagined their reunion. In a park they never used to visit, under social worker supervision, on a chilly cloudy day. But Darry wouldn’t have it any other way, because at least he gets to see them. When they were kids he’d wanted to write letters, to let his siblings know that he was out there missing them, caring about them even if he couldn’t be with them. He’d been so angry at first. Wasn’t the foster system supposed to keep families together? Why was he thrown in a foster home with zero word on if his brothers were even alive. For years it had felt like he’d lost them just like he’d lost mom and dad. He worried about Soda, as clingy as the kid was… all alone. And Ponyboy- only three… would he even remember his family? Darry had gotten lucky on an emergency placement, he’d come across a social worker he didn’t know. A new guy who still wanted to do everything he could to help instead of just taking home a pay check. Darry had begged the guy for information on his brothers and been given what he asked for. They were together, thank god, bouncing around the system but together. Darry had felt relief, then jealousy and then determination. When he turned eighteen he would do whatever it took to get them to be a family again. And so he did.

Darry tries not to throw up as he parks his truck, eyes scanning the park for only a moment before he spots them. The social worker, Oscar who has been at his side, fighting to help him bring his brothers home, standing next to a bench where two figures sit. One in a t-shirt and jeans, shivering just slightly, the other wrapped up in an old jean jacket, curled up in a ball against the taller one tight enough that Darry can hardly see him. But they're his brothers, Darry had worried at first if he would even recognize them but standing here, unable to even see their faces, he knows he could never not know them. They're a piece of his soul.

Darry walks with purpose across the grass, Oscar greets him with a smile, shaking his hand. “I’ll stay out of the way.” He says gently. “If you need something let me know.”

Darry watches for a moment as he walks away before he turns, finally coming face to face with his brothers. They’re standing now, Ponyboy tucked safely into Sodapop’s side.

“Hi” Darry says stupidly- he’d had this entire thing planned- he’d hug them and welcome them home and tell them how much he missed them- but now standing in front of them all he can think is ‘holy shit they’re so much older- my baby brothers - 

Sodapop shuffles just a bit closer, Ponyboy moves with him as though they are connected but only Soda speaks. “Hi”

Darry is frozen for only one more moment, watching Soda shiver, watching Ponyboy look up at him with those big deer-like eyes, before finally Darry can't sit still a moment longer. He takes his jacket off, it’s not quite thick enough but it’s better than nothing, gently and slowly he wraps it around Soda and in turn around Ponyboy. Ponyboy curls into the newfound warmth but Sodapop shakes his head.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to-”

“I want to,” Darry says firmly. “For years Soda you have no idea-”

Darry has only a moment to brace before Soda is slamming into him, knocking the air from his lungs, he stumbles back half a step before wrapping Soda up in his arms. Holding him as tight as he can without suffocating the poor kid. It’s been so long, Darry had forgotten this feeling. The feeling of home, of safety, of loving and being loved in return unconditionally and limitlessly.

“I missed you so much Pepsi” Darry mumbles. But the moment is over already, Soda is pulling away, wrapping the jacket tighter around himself, pulling Ponyboy back into his arms, mumbling something quietly in the youngests ear. Darry shoves his hands deep into his jean pockets, ignoring the cold bite of the air. “So uh… Are you two hungry? We could get hotdogs from the shop down the street?”

Ponyboy perks up at the mention of food but doesn’t speak and doesn’t move until Soda nods “Sure, we could eat… Are we allowed to leave the park?”

“Oscar will follow us but we’re fine so long as I don’t take you guys home.” Darry says, leading the way to the shop.

Soda and Pony follow close behind, in perfect sync with each other's movements. Soda says “Where is home… exactly.”

“A lot deeper into the east side” Darry explains “ash street. You remember the lot?” Soda shrugs, Darry continues anyways. “It’s right next to the lot, straight shot and to the left a little… The house with the blue front door.”

Soda is nodding but Ponyboy seems to be the one actually paying attention. Darry wishes he could hug him but the kid is completely glued to Sodapop's side and the last thing Darry wants is to make him uncomfortable. They get hot dogs in a warm little shop Darry has let Twbit drag him to a few times over the years. Darry buys his brothers two hotdogs each, anxious of just how skinny they are. He'd noticed it when he first walked up but now being so close... they're practically skin and bone. Soda wraps two of them up, shoving them into Ponyboy’s jacket and Darry feels like throwing up.

“They ain’t feedin you at your foster house?” Darry questions.

Sodapop leans back in the booth, glancing over at Oscar who is ordering himself a lemonade. “I ain’t say that.”

“You’re hiding food.”

Soda raises an eyebrow “Is that a problem?”

“If they ain’t feeding you it is.” Darry pushes.

“Then it ain’t.” Soda pushes Ponyboy’s hotdog closer to him, completely untouched meanwhile Soda and Darry have already started on theirs. “Eat” Soda says and Ponyboy does.

“Steve is real excited to see you” Darry says, hoping the mention of his best friend will get that upset look off of Soda’s face.

“You’re still friends?” Soda asks. “Did you get to stay around here?”

Darry winces. “Yeah- yeah for the most part. I got placed in a group home deep on the east side. Twobit is around a lot too.”

Soda runs his fingers through Ponyboy’s hair. “You still talk to Paul?”

Darry takes a deep breath “Sometimes, here and there I guess…. There’s two others in our group now, Dallas Winston and Johnny Cade… Johnny is around your age Pony, I think you’ll like him.” Ponyboy looks up but not at Darry, he looks up to Soda who shakes his head, immediately Pony goes back to eating. “You don’t talk anymore?” Darry teases gently but shifts back when Soda glares at him.

“He talks just fine, just got nothin to say.”

Darry holds his hands up “I was teasing Soda.”

They finish their meal in silence, Darry talks just a little about the plan, three more weeks of visits, a home visit and then he’ll be good to take them in, but the tension from earlier never seems to completely disappear. Darry is almost glad when Oscar says it’s time for them to go. Almost that is until he watches the way Soda tenses and Ponyboy buries himself deeper into his brothers side. Soda shifts, taking off Darry’s jacket but Darry shakes his head taking a step back.

“Keep it. I have others.”

Soda shakes his head, holding out the jacket. “I don’t need it.”

“You need it to get back to the house at least. You can always bring it back next week.” Darry says, keeping his hands firmly in his pockets.

Soda hesitates for only a moment before wrapping himself back up in the jacket, pulling Ponyboy close. “We’ll see you next week?”

“Promise.” Darry replies.

Chapter Text

“So?” Twobit says the moment Darry walks through the door, he hardly reacts to the figure laying on his living room couch like he owns the place. “How’d it go?”

Darry kicks off his shoes, shrugging as he steps into his room to throw on a hoodie. “Fine I guess… I don’t know. Ponyboy didn’t say a single word and Soda was hidin food in the kids jacket.”

“Shit” Twobit had snuck Darry food over the years, the group home hardly had enough to properly feed a bunch of growing teenage boys, but Darry had had friends and made money enough himself to get what he needed, he’d gone to bed hungry but never starving. “I bet I could find out where they’re staying, sneak them some food or somethin”

“Yeah maybe…” Darry moves into the kitchen, eyes scanning the half filled cupboards. “I’m gonna save up, get a bunch of food so they know they ain’t gotta worry about that shit here.”

Twobit moves into the kitchen, leaning against the wall. “They have bruises?”

“Not that I saw” Darry clenches his fist, he'd looked but he knew first hand how easy it is to hide bruises, to hide being hurt. “Soda was in a t-shirt, i woulda seen it if he did I think, not so sure about Pony.”

“A t-shirt?” Twobit echos

“I gave him my jacket.”

“I’ll see if anyone's got clothes they’re givin away” 

“You don’t gotta-” Darry starts but Twobit cuts him off

“I know. I want to. I bet my mama knows people with the church who’ve got kids goin off to college or somethin.”

“Thank you” Darry says, moving to pull the leftover chocolate cake he made yesterday from the fridge.

“You can pay me back by goin drinkin with me tonight.” Twobit says smirking, grabbing two plates and forks.

Darry rolls his eyes but gives Twobit the bigger piece of cake “I can pay you back by not kickin you out of my house.”

Darry lets out a weak cough, turning over in the uncomfortable twin bed, wishing for the first time he’d claimed the bottom bunk instead of the top- he feels like he’s going to fall and being so close to the cold window isn’t helping- the sun shining through despite the black sheets he and the other boys had attempted to use to block it out isn’t helping either. It’s just a cold, he’s fine- but ever since his parents died the bad things only feel ten times worse. Every sickness reminds him of the way his mother would hold him, reminds him of his fathers soup that never tasted the way he wanted it to. Every good thing comes with the knowledge that his parents aren’t around to celebrate with him. Every bad thing reminds him that his parents aren’t around to comfort him anymore.

Darry vaguely feels like throwing up, he also vaguely feels like crying. It’s quiet in the group home today- well as quiet as it can be when there’s babies crying and kids too small for school running around. But still it’s quiet, he’s the only older boy left in this part of the house, everyone else gone off to school or to run around town. No one had questioned him when he stayed in bed, they wouldn’t even check the room until it was lights out, too busy with the younger kids to care about the older. Darry thinks about getting up, using his last paycheck to get some soup or medicine, but really it feels like more effort than it’s worth and at the end of the day he needs to be saving money, not spending. He thinks about going to Bucks, sleeping in Dally’s room or going to the Matthews, passing out in Twobits bed. But the last thing Darry wants is to be a burden, he can handle himself.

“Knew it.” Darry flinches at the voice, opening his heavy eyes to look up at the figure sitting next to him on the bed. When had someone walked into the room let alone climbed up on the bed- “Told you Superman was sick”

“Yeah yeah” Twobit huffs, seating himself next to Steve. “Hey Dar, how ya feelin?”

Darry groans softly, burying his face in his pillow to hide his smile, his gang is here- Dallas speaks up from where he’s standing next to the bed with Johnny “Lets get the hell outta here.”

“Where are we takin him?” Steve asks, jumping down to grab Darry’s shoes and coat from his side of the little dresser next to the bed. Darry doesn’t keep anything worth value at the group home, just clothes and his school things. Everything else resides in boxes placed in Twobit’s closet.

“Bucks, it ain’t gonna be too loud tonight, ain’t many people gettin wasted on a Tuesday.” Dallas says, waiting until Twobit hops down to climb up, helping Darry sit up. “I ain’t carrying ya Darry, come on”

They manage to get him out of bed and into Twobits car without much fuss, Darry laying up against the cool window, soaking in the warmth of being surrounded by his family.

“Ain’t we suppose to keep him cool if he’s got a fever?” Johnny asks nervously as Twobit turns up the heat.

“Pretty sure you’re suppose to sweat a fever out.” Twobit replies

“Pretty sure you’re gonna kill us all if it’s a hundred degrees in this car, turn that shit down.” Dallas demands, reaching over the front seat to mess with the controls. Darry lets himself drift off as his gang argues, safe in their hold.

The next week they meet at a restaurant per Darry’s request, he walks in with the full intention of buying both of his brothers a proper meal but pauses when the waitress leads him to a table with only one.

“Pony?” Darry questions, sitting across from the boy, Ponyboy jumps looking up at Darry with wide eyes. “Where’s Sodapop?” Ponyboy wrings his hands together nervously, not answering the question, eyes scanning the small diner. “Ponyboy?”

Oscar slips into the booth next to Ponyboy, Darry watches as the kid presses himself into the wall. “Sorry I should’ve called. Sodapop isn’t feeling well, I thought you’d still want to visit with Ponyboy rather than delay anything.”

“He’s sick?” Darry questions but as Oscar nods Ponyboy glares down at the menu in front of him. “Okay… okay yeah. Of course I still wanna visit with Pony.”

“I’ll give you two some space then, and don’t worry about the bill, I’ll pay it” Oscar walks away just as Darry opens his mouth to protest.

Darry sighs softly, rolling his shoulders as he watches Ponyboy, scanning at first for injuries and then for any sign that the boy is going to talk, when he doesn’t Darry says. “I know you probably don’t really remember me but I remember you.” Pony looks up and Darry takes it as his cue to continue speaking. “I thought about you and Soda all the time, if you two were safe or together or if you even remembered me at all… I’m your big brother, doesn’t matter if we haven’t seen each other in years or if you don’t wanna talk to me, it’s just who I am. So if you wanted to talk to me about anything, you could.”

Ponyboy simply stares at him, eyebrows scrunched together, head tilted like a confused puppy. Darry is thankful when the waitress interrupts them. Darry ends up ordering for them both when Ponyboy simply pushes his menu away. He gets pancakes, eggs, toast and bacon, two hot chocolates and a bowl of soup with bread to go.

As they wait for the food Darry says “Soda has a cold?”

Ponyboy shrugs.

“There a different reason he ain’t here?”

Ponyboy fiddles with his napkin, folding it over and over only to unfold it.

“Is he hurt?” Pony pauses and Darry knows the answer. “Are you hurt?”

Pony shakes his head automatically and Darry relaxes just a little.

“Is it-” Darry is interrupted as their hot chocolates are placed in front of them, Pony stares at his intently. “You don’t need permission, it’s yours.”

Ponyboy frowns but doesn’t move. Darry picks up his own mug, blowing on it gently before taking a sip, Ponyboy is still for a long, long moment before he finally copies the action, holding the mug close to himself. Darry tries not to feel too proud of himself for the small bit of progress.

“If the foster family you’re living with isn’t feeding you, if they’re hurting you, you need to tell Oscar so he can get you moved.” Darry says firmly, Ponyboy shakes his head. “Why not?”

Pony doesn’t respond and Darry is really starting to think the kid might not be able to talk. Which wouldn't make much sense cause all Ponyboy used to do as a kid was talk.

“Okay… okay. Do you know the address of your foster house?” Darry questions, sighing as Ponyboy shifts away from him. “I ain’t gonna do nothin unless I need to kid, I want you and your brother home I ain’t gonna put that at risk. But Twobit offered to bring over food, sneak it to yall if you need.”

Ponyboy hesitates at that before slowly he nods. As the food gets delivered Darry asks the waitress for a pen and paper, sliding it over to Ponyboy. “Can you write it down? And write down where the window to your room is so Two will know which one to knock on.”

Ponyboy stares at the paper, slowly picking up the pen. He writes the address in neat cursive and then draws a mini diagram of the house, labeling the window and room where he and Soda are staying before gently sliding it back to Darry.

Ponyboy doesn’t eat the food so neither does Darry, he talks a little about how nice Pony’s handwriting is and how he’s thankful that the kid was willing to share the information with him. He tries asking about school and Ponyboy’s interests but is met with silence. Darry doesn’t exactly blame him for being so quiet, to Ponyboy they're basically strangers, but at this point he is a little concerned. He wishes he could ask Oscar about it but the social worker has known Ponyboy in this state for about as long as Darry has and Darry has no clue who the boys social worker was before they moved.

“Soda ain’t hurt too bad is he?” Darry asks as their hour comes to a close.

Pony looks away from where he was watching Oscar pay, looking down at the bag full of food in his small hands. He shrugs again, but then pauses looking up at Darry. He then holds his hands out and gently Darry hands the paper and pen back. Ponyboy writes quickly, shoving the paper into Darry’s hands as Oscar arrives at the table, Darry hides the note in his pocket as Pony hides the pen in his jacket.

“You ready Ponyboy?” Oscar asks and Pony stands.

Darry stands as well. “Can I hug you?” he asks and tries not to be offended when Ponyboy takes a small step back.

He goes shopping after to distract himself, grabbing a box of first aid supplies and foods that don’t require any cooking. He tries to keep it healthy but ends up grabbing a few candy bars. It isn’t until he’s home with a backpack ready for Twobit to take that he finally pulls the note from his pocket.

‘Bruises no blood. Concussion probably’

“In and out” Twobit mumbles to himself, thankful that at least the foster house is on the east side. Steve had wanted to go with him, had argued with Darry about it for a long time. And then Dallas had suggested he go which caused even more drama.  

“You don’t even know them!” Steve had yelled

“Fuck you man!” Dallas had yelled back, getting right up in Steve’s face, Darry had pushed his way in between them. “Don’t even know why I’m offering to help! Screw ya all!”

Ultimately the plan had stayed the same as it was before everyone decided to get involved and Twobit had gone alone. At the very least Sodapop would recognize him and at the worst it was best if he got in trouble, with Dally’s record, Steve’s dad and the court breathing down Darry’s back it just made sense for Twobit to be the one. It’s not like he minds, Darry is his best friend, his brother in all ways but blood. He’d do just about anything for him, maybe besides quitting drinking.

Twobit looks down at his harshly drawn map again, ignoring where the paper is torn, and then looks up at the house. The place is run down, there’s a huge indent in the door, but there’s flowers in the yard and a rusted swing swaying gently in the wind. Twobit makes his way around the back of the house, noting that there seems to be no lights on and no car in the driveway. There’s probably no one home… Twobit hopes the window is unlocked at the very least. 

He finds the window Pony drew easily enough, its on the first floor, thank fuck and it’s open. Twobit smirks, cracking his neck before climbing up through the window, landing on old carpet with a soft thud. Feeling rather proud of himself he turns to survey the room, pausing when he sees the Curtis brothers staring up at him.

“Well hello” Twobit says, glancing around the way too small for two people room. A dresser sits against the wall near the door, which seems to lock from the other side. A twin sized bed sits against the wall to the left, to the right a guitar and two backpacks, one black trash bag. “Nice place you got here.”

Chapter Text

“You think I’m crazy too?” Darry asks, throwing his worn suit jacket off, letting it hit the floor with no intention of picking it up anytime soon.

Twobit kicks the door shut behind them, “Yup”

Darry huffs, tossing his truck key down onto the kitchen counter, running his fingers shakily through his hair. “Great. Thanks.”

“C’mon man even you know you’re being a little crazy. You ain’t even twenty and you wanna take in two kids? Blood or not that’s crazy” Twobit hops up on the counter next to Darry. “But crazy don’t mean stupid.”

“I know what I’m doing.” Darry says, as though trying to convince the both of them.

“Never said you didn’t”

“I’m gettin my brothers home. I’m gonna make it work.” 

“Never said you couldn’t”

“I don’t care if everyone thinks I’m crazy.”

“Well that's a relief” Twobit says smirking “Cause you are remember?”

Darry lunges and within minutes they’re wrestling on the living room floor.

“Twobit?” Sodapop says, standing from where he was playing cards on the floor with Ponyboy. Ponyboy shifts, pressing himself into the corner of the room. “What the- how-”

Twobit pulls the backpack Darry gave him off of his shoulders, holding it out for Sodapop who hesitates for only a moment before accepting it. “Food, first aid supplies, and a few other things. Mostly from Darry but the rest of us tossed some stuff in there when he wasn’t looking.”

Sodapop sets the bag on the bed, looking through it slowly. There’s food, enough for a week at least if they ration carefully. Two weeks if Soda makes sure Ponyboy is fed until they finally move into Darry’s. But it’s not just food, it’s candy bars that have Soda’s mouth watering and clothes that look used but not destroyed, two books Soda knows Ponyboy will love even if he’s read them before, there’s a small tub of hair grease, first aid supplies, a note carefully placed in an envelope labeled ‘Soda’, a few cans of pop, and at the very bottom of the bag a switchblade, black handled and banged up from what looks like years of use.

“Why… How did you even know where we are?” Soda asks, looking up at Twobit, who although older is just about the same as Soda remembers him, all goofy grin and easy going.

“Pony gave Darry the address?” Twobit says, slowly making his way around the small room, taking in the space. “This locked?” he asks, messing with the door which is indeed locked- jesus what if there was a fire-

“He did?” Soda glances back at Ponyboy who shrugs as if to say ‘what do you want me to do’ “Darry sent you?”

“Nah it was cps” Twobit grins as he leans back against the door. “‘Course it was Darry, Superman couldn’t stand the idea of you two goin hungry.”

“We ain’t” Sodapop protests but Twobit can see right through him. In the dim light of the room Twobit can see a lot Sodapop probably wishes he could hide. The way Soda and Pony’s clothes are two sizes too small, the way they’re both wearing their jackets to protect against the chill in the room, the way Ponyboy is too small for his age. Ponyboy curled up in the corner like it’s the only thing keeping him safe, the way Soda keeps himself in between Twobit and Ponyboy like a human shield. But mostly the bruises covering Soda’s neck, his jaw, and his knuckles, the way his hands shake just so, from fear or hunger or both.

“Okay.” Twobit replies simply.

“It’s only two more weeks. Tell him not to send nothin else” Soda says but he’s holding the bag like he’s afraid Twobit will take it back.

“Can’t promise nothin but sure Soda” Twobit pretends to stretch as he heads back to the window. “See ya’ll in two weeks then”

Twobit is about to climb back out of the window when Soda says “Two? Thanks… Tell Darry that too will ya?”

“As you wish” Twobit says, before clumsily pulling himself out of the window, hitting the grass with a harsh thud. He groans as laughter from the room follows him.

“Michael” A harsh voice rings out and Sodapop tenses, pulling Ponyboy a bit closer to his chest. What was it this time? They’d cleaned up the crayons from the social workers visit hadn’t they? Soda made sure to hide them under their bed… They’d cleaned up after dinner and Soda had even swept the kitchen floor. “Patrick!”

Soda covers little five year old Pony’s ears, trying to make sure the woman doesn’t wake him up. Maybe… maybe if they pretend to be asleep she’ll leave them alone- or maybe- god if only he could remember what they did wrong- The footsteps get closer and Soda does the only thing he can think to do. He picks up his sleeping baby brother, wraps him in their shared blanket and lays him gently on the floor of the closet, shutting the closet door just as the bedroom door opens. 

The next visit isn’t an hour, it’s almost an entire day and Darry has panic cleaned the house four times this week getting ready for it. The kitchen is all stocked up thanks to overtime paychecks and Ms. Matthews. The boys room is all made up with fresh sheets and extra blankets. They aren’t staying the night but Darry wants it all set up anyways so they can see it, so they know that once they’re home they’re safe.

Oscar drops the boys off early in the morning, they both look tired, Ponyboy is half asleep curled up into Sodapop’s side. When Darry opens the front door the kids' eyes are only half open. Sodapop is using the jacket Darry gave him like a blanket, rubbing sleepily at his face. Darry softens just a bit at the sight.

“I’ll be back to pick them up tonight” Oscar says, voice gentle like he’s trying not to disturb the brothers despite them both being awake… or mostly awake anyways.

Darry mumbles a soft thank you and side steps, letting Soda lead Pony into the small house. Darry shuts the door and for the first time in years he feels like everything is right in the world. His brothers are right where they belong, safe at home. They’re where he can watch over them, protect them, make sure they eat and do their homework and don’t get themselves into trouble. It’s simultaneously overwhelming and the calmest Darry has felt since his parents died.

“Why don’t you two take a nap?” Darry suggests “I can give ya the tour when you wake up.”

Sodapop glances around the living room nervously, looking a little more awake. “No it’s okay-”

“Really Soda it’s fine” Darry insists. “Pony don’t even look awake” It’s true, Ponyboy’s eyes are shut and he’s leaning most of his body weight against Sodapop, walking only when Soda drags him along. Darry passes the living room, leading the way into the master bedroom, Darry watches as Sodapop stands in the doorway, eyes scanning every detail of the room. “This room is yours and Pony’s, bathroom is right there and then the next door is my room. I’ll be in the kitchen or the living room when you two wake up.”

Darry slips past Soda, lingering in the hallway just long enough to watch Soda tiptoe his way into the room and shut the door firmly behind him, slipping the lock into place quietly.

It’s two hours later when Darry hears the door open and shut and then the bathroom door shutting, as the boys take turns taking showers Darry works on brunch, nothing fancy just eggs and bacon with toast. By the time the brothers step into the kitchen the table is set and the food is divided out evenly onto the plates.

Sodapop mumbles a soft ‘morinin’ and sits down, pulling Pony to sit down next to him. Darry pours them both a glass of orange juice and himself a third cup of coffee before sitting down. “Is the room okay? I wasn’t sure what ya’ll would want so I just got what I could find.”

“It’s good… it’s- it’s more than you should’ve done” Sodapop says, taking a bite of toast, nudging Pony lightly. “Eat” Ponyboy digs into his eggs and Darry resists the urge to ruffle his already messy bedhead. 

They finish breakfast and Darry makes the boys go sit in the living room, turning the tv on so he can have a moment to do the dishes without Sodapop trying to help. It doesn’t work very well. Only a few minutes into cleaning up Sodapop walks into the kitchen, turning the hot water on.

“You don’t have to help Soda really… not right now. You’re just visiting, you should relax.” Darry says, putting the ketchup Pony had put on his eggs away. 

“I don’t mind” Soda says, scrubbing at the plates. The brothers work silently for a minute, Soda washing dishes while Darry dries and puts them away before Soda finally says “You didn’t have to send that bag… Pony and I were okay without it.”

Darry keeps his eyes on the plate he’s drying. “Okay and good are different. Besides you two are my responsibility now. I won’t have ya goin hungry.”

“We don’t have to be.” Soda says

“What?” Darry looks at his brother but Soda doesn’t look back at him.

“I don’t know why you’re doin this to yourself. Shoulda just gone off to college.”

Darry leans against the counter, trying to get Sodapop to look at him but his kid brother's eyes stay on the clean dish he’s scrubbing. “I don’t care about college. College will be there in ten years. You and Pony might not have been.” Darry lets the silence linger until the dishes are put away and he’s wiping down the counters. “Pony don’t eat unless you say he can?”

It’s not really a question, Darry’s seen it with his own eyes, it’s a silent plea to know why, to understand. Sodapop glances into the living room “At least he eats” he mumbles and Darry decides not to push, at least not this week.

They spend the rest of the day watching tv, Darry gives them a quick tour of the house and the yard and then explains a little about the area, where the school is, the lot, and a few other hot spots. Ponyboy seems to soak in every ounce of information but Soda doesn’t look like he’s even attempting to memorize any of it.

“Where’s Twobit and Steve?” Soda asks as they walk back into the house.

Darry kicks off his shoes at the front door, watches the way Ponyboy watches him before doing the same, nudging Soda to copy him. “I told them to give ya’ll space this weekend, didn’t want them overwhelming you.” Soda goes quiet and Darry is quick to add “But I can tell them to come over next weekend since you’ll be stayin the night, I bet they’d like that”

Sodapop shrugs “it’s your house”

Darry shakes his head “It’s our house. I’ll invite them… maybe see if Johnny and Dallas are up for it too.”

When it’s time to go home Darry insists on Soda taking a small bag of food and doesn’t let his baby brother's protests deter him from making sure he and Pony are fed.

“Really Darry we’re fine. We don’t need it.” Soda says, trying to shove the bag back into Darry’s hands.

Darry puts his hands behind his back. “I don’t need it either, you two might as well eat it so it doesn’t go bad.”

When Oscar picks the boys up just after dinner and the door shuts Darry doesn’t even think before he grabs his jacket and heads out to find his gang. Now that he knows what it’s like to have his brothers safe at home where they belong… He doesn’t think he can stand being in that house with it empty ever again.

Chapter Text

Darry’s first memory is simple, being held in his dad’s arms, his mother singing softly as she closed the curtains and grabbed an extra blanket from the closet. Darry had been fine sleeping alone, even as a toddler, but that night there had been a storm, lightning and thunder so loud and bright even the bravest of men would be afraid, or at least that’s what his dad had said to comfort him.

When Sodapop was born he was clingy, even as a baby he hated being alone, often crying until someone picked him up. When mom and dad were busy Darry would climb into Sodapop’s crib and hold him until he fell asleep. So long as Darry was around his baby brother would never have to be brave enough to face a storm alone.

Ponyboy was different, even as a baby he’d had this anxiety Darry never fully understood, what was there to be afraid of when he was so little and had so many people protecting him? Hell Sodapop hardly ever left Pony alone, playing with him or holding him. Mom and dad joked that Sodapop had been Darry’s baby more than theirs and in turn Ponyboy had been Sodapop’s.

Even as kids Sodapop was popular, all bright smiles and cute grins. Every adult wanted to pinch his cheeks and every kid wanted to be his best friend. Thus birthday parties and sleepovers happened more often than not. One night Soda was gone, at some sleepover with kids Darry didn’t know then and would never remember now. There had been a storm, wind so strong Darry was sure trees were being knocked over and rain was flooding the streets.

Pony always ran to Sodapop, always. But tonight there was no Sodapop. Darry had expected Pony to go running to their parents, it’s what Darry had planned to do when the thunder and lightning woke him up, but when Darry poked his head into Soda and Ponyboy’s room he found his youngest brother hiding under the covers, terrified sobs shaking his little body. Darry hadn’t hesitated, he never did when it came to his brothers. He grabbed blankets and pillows and worked quickly and quietly to build a fort in the middle of their living room. Once it was ready Darry slipped into Soda and Pony’s room, gathering Pony carefully up into his arms, shushing his baby brother as the kid clung to him.

When Ponyboy eventually fell asleep, safely encased in Darry’s arms and a mountain of blankets, Darry sent a promise a soft vow into the night, to always do whatever it took to keep his baby brothers safe from any storm that might come their way.

“Last visit right? Then they’re home for good?” Twobit asks, sliding Darry another beer.

Darry nods, for once indulging his friends bad habit. “It’s an overnight stay.”

“A sleepover” Dallas says, lighting another cigarette.

“Sure- whatever” Darry sighs “I want ya’ll there.”

“All of us?” Steve asks, sitting up a bit straighter. Despite the years that have passed Steve never once stopped thinking of Sodapop as his best friend, and Darry knows just how eager they are to see each other again.

“Yeah all of ya. Soda wants to see you and Twobit and I think you’ll get along with Pony” Darry says, turning his attention to Johnny. “He don’t talk anymore but I think he’ll write to ya”

“He don’t talk anymore?” Steve questions but there’s no answer to give because Darry has no clue why his youngest brother is silent.

“You’re inviting us to a sleepover” Dallas says, raising an eyebrow that same way Twobit always does.

“Don’t go pretending like ya’ll don’t sleep at my place half the time anyways.” Darry says, shaking his head when Twobit offers him a cigarette.

“Whatever man, I ain’t building no pillow fort or whatever” From Dallas that’s about as good as a yes as anything.

Darry isn’t expecting it, it’s an impossible thing to predict. You never know what’s going to happen next, good or bad you can never truly predict the future. It’s what makes planning for said future so messy, because plans fall apart, the world doesn’t play by the rules people have set. College directly after high school, scholarships to get by, and then a career, football for Darry, a wife and then maybe some kids all in a timely order, in an expected order.

The thing is no person can live up to the expectations the world has set for them, because no person is the same and no life follows the same path. To plan is to hope, to hope is to dream and dreams change. Darry thought he would go to college right out of high school, he used to talk about it with his parents, which college he would attend and if he would stay on campus or in an apartment. Darry would talk about which football team he wanted to play for and dream about how much money he would make. Darry wasn’t expecting it when his parents died and his little brothers were ripped out of his life. He spent a long time looking at his plans like burnt pieces of paper. Once perfect and simple now nothing more than ash slipping through his fingers. His plans changed, his dreams changed. Darry wanted his brothers back, they were his dream now. 

There came a brief time, a moment really, when Darry doubted himself, his new dream, his plan. College acceptance letters he throws in the trash remind him of what he’s giving up. It’s Twobit who soothes his doubts.

“You know I’m two years behind in school?” Twobit had said, taking a long drag on his cigarette, flicking the ashes into the railroad tracks under their feet. “You think I ain’t got no future?”

Darry shook his head “nah man. You could catch up if you wanted to.”

“So why do you think you can’t?” Twobit says, looking about as serious as he did the day Darry’s parents died. “You’re a hell of a lot smarter than me. Hell man I saw some forty year old guy pull up to the school to get his GED the other day.”

“My brothers are young Two, and I gotta pay for their college’s, ain’t gonna have the time for my own.”

Twobit rolls his eyes “oh no you’ll be thirty. C’mon man. Most greasers don’t even make it to thirty. Have a little faith Darry. Someday you’re gonna be a football star and you’ll be thinkin about how ridiculous you sounded today, savvy?”

Darry grins “When did you go gettin smart?”

Twobit shrugs “Think it’s got somethin to do with having a kid sister now man… Don’t go tellin nobody or they’re gonna expect me to start passin my classes.”

Darry doesn’t expect it when the state actually grants him the right to see his brothers, to eventually bring them home. Everyone told him he was crazy, that he would never see them again, that the court would never let him take them in. But Darry leaves the court house with a smile and a stack of papers that prove them wrong.

Almost a month into having his brothers back in his life and Darry feels hope, real hope. It won’t be easy, Sodapop’s hesitation and Ponyboy’s silence, the way he found the twin beds he got them pushed together after they left the house, it’s all like a little warning sign flashing over and over in Darry’s mind. Getting his brothers to trust him again, helping them heal… it’ll take years. Darry knows it. Hell Darry wasn’t in a situation half as bad as whatever they obviously went through but he still has nights where he can’t sleep, nightmares that play on a loop, a hunger some days that no amount of food could fill. But he’s not breaking his promise, he’s going to fight for them every step of the way, protect them as much as he possibly can.

He’s not expecting to see the fire on his way home from work, it’s late, the sun getting ready to disappear for the night. Usually Darry would be home by now but he wanted to try to avoid having to take anymore overtime for the next month or so, wanting to have more time to spend helping his brothers settle in. The house he stumbles upon is completely encased in fire, the roof looks only a moment from collapsing and Darry can only hope there’s no one inside. It looks like a family's place, with a rusted swing out front and flowers now covered in ash or on fire in the yard. A small crowd has gathered around the house, some neighbor claiming he’s called for help. Someone asks if there was anyone inside, there’s a car out front, but no one answers.

“You have to eat” Sodapop says gently, running his fingers through Ponyboy’s hair, the poor thing is burning up but shivering like he’s not covered in all of the clothes and blankets Soda could find in their small room. “Pony please baby, you gotta eat somethin”

Soda wasn’t shocked when he woke up to find Ponyboy sick as a dog, bad luck seems to follow them like a shadow. Really it makes sense that Pony would get sick only two weeks before they get to move in with Darry, only one day before they would’ve been at Darry’s for their overnight stay. Will they even get to see him tomorrow? Soda won’t leave Pony here alone, especially not sick.

“M’not hungry” Pony mumbles, hiding his face in the jacket Darry gave them.

Sodapop sighs “yes you are.” He wishes the soup was at least warm, but with no access to the kitchen the cold can Darry gave them would have to do. “I’ll give you the rest of our last chocolate bar if you eat.”

Ponyboy looks up at him through his blankets and Soda smirks, knowing no Curtis can resist the temptation of chocolate anything. “Half the can?” Pony tries.

Soda shakes his head “The entire can. C’mon honey, if you don’t eat you won’t get better. You wanna go to Darry’s tomorrow right?”

Ponyboy sighs heavily but nods, and with Soda’s help he sits up and downs the cold soup and the chocolate bar. He’s back to sleep within an hour and Soda wishes he had some sort of medicine to give him. Darry will- or at least he knows Darry will go get some… if they’re allowed to see him. Or maybe he could sneak out and steal some but the idea of leaving Pony alone in this house for even half an hour has Soda about ready to throw up, which is exactly what Ponyboy does not even an hour later.

Soda doesn’t have time to react when it starts, he moves as quickly as he can, rolling the kid onto his side so he doesn’t choke, wincing at the sight of the puke all over the side of their sheets and the floor. But that isn’t even his main concern, it’s the heat pouring from Pony, like a mini furnace.

“Oh hell” Soda mumbles and lays Pony down, brushing the kids hair out of his eyes.

Soda would do anything for his baby brother. Anything. He’s taken beatings, gone hungry, lied and stolen and done things he’s sure would make Darry sick to hear about all to keep Ponyboy safe. Soda had been so afraid when they’d dragged him away from his brothers, so afraid of never seeing them again. He could only hope Darry and Ponyboy got to stay together. But six months into his first foster placement Pony was suddenly there, looking terrified and far too skinny for his age, but there and from the moment he saw little Pony again he vowed to do whatever it took to keep them together and keep Ponyboy safe.

But it's never been enough, no matter how hard Soda tried, people liked to target the quiet, smart, amazing kid Soda has the honor of calling his baby brother. Their current placement is the same as all the others, cruel and cold. But for the first time in years Soda can see the light at the end of the hell they’ve called living. Darry wants them, gave up college for them and although Soda has spent every day since he found out worrying that Darry might change his mind he’s starting to believe this might just be real- or at the very least safe for the time being.

But Darry can’t help them right now, not tonight with Pony burning up like a fire, and Soda would do anything for his baby brother. So he doesn’t let himself think about the consequences of slamming his fist into their bedroom door over and over, yelling “Hey! Open up!”