Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Prologue: (George)
I looked out the windowsill. I didn’t hear Olivia sneaking behind me.
“Hey.” She whispered and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “How are you feeling today?”
I made a sound of indifference.
“I guess same as every other day..still have the same cancer ridden body.”
She frowned. “So I take it you haven’t told him? You know he’ll be there and Paul. You should tell them..they’re family aren’t they?”
I looked outside resigned. “No. He must never know. It might break him.No one will know.” The word was final.

February 1994
Anthology Session begins

Ringo:
I stepped out of the car breathing the fresh air. A bout of anxiety washed over me.
This will be the first time we will be able to play with each other,and not just as a “I’ll sit down and offer to play something on your album then leave..” moment.
It’s a we’re actually going to be around each other and live together while we finish up our life work. Well as a group, that is…Paul was anxiously waiting inside. He gave me a half hug and I could tell his nerves are on overdrive.
“That bad already?” I exclaimed to break the ice.
“Ha.” He broke into a nervous smile. “Someone keeps stealing my stuff. I have like piles of paper that I write tons of songs..
well I’m trying to write a ton of songs..and I wake up and they’re all over the ground with more then a few kinds of words crossed out. I mean this guys a real psychopath or something!”
“Well, what if it’s John? Messing around with your songs..you know what he was.” I joked.
Paul sighed. “Yeah..yeah..um you’re probably right. I just want everything to be perfect. And everyone on time..speaking of which, where’s George?”
The world stood still when I heard that name. My heart still remembers..I shut my eyes and breathed in. We always arrived at the wrong time, but I can’t stop the butterflies in my stomach whenever I hear him…

“You managed to convince him to come?” I breathed. “And he actually said yes?” I was surprised.
He was a hard man to convince especially with his views on Paul having been more than cynical. I thought they would never want to interact in the same room.
“Yeah..said he mostly needed the check. Bet he’ll want to see you.”
I shrugged not commenting on anything. It’s been so long, I don’t even know what will happen when I see him..I don’t have the strength that I used to.
The last time I saw him..he cheated on my wife.
There was a tense moment between us with everything left unsend. He looked down. “You’re right..I’m sorry. Should I leave?”
“I don’t know.” I whisper and he left. I try to call the next day to say that everything was fine, of course I forgive him, we’re still friends..
but all that was left on the line was a “Please dial again..the number that you’re looking for doesn’t exist. Please make sure you have the number correct..”

We still interacted with each other for a bit, but the air was just so heavy between us it felt better not to say anything..until we drifted and I lost my favorite person.
My heart hurts.

“You’re still thinking about how it ended?” Paul brought me out of my thought.
“Oh..um no. Maybe..it’s just..been a while.”
I turned to him feeling awkward. “Do you have a bathroom somewhere?”
“Of course..right this way. Have you been here before?”
“Maybe.” I said. “I understand you love it here.”
“Yeah.” He breathed. “It was an escape.”

George was already in the waiting room tuning his guitar. I took a peek then quickly pulled myself back.
My mind screamed at me..I wasn’t ready.
“You going in?” Paul walked over.
“I don’t know..” I whisper. “Is he still mad?”
He looked confused. “Why would he still be mad? That was years ago! Trust me, if there’s anything he could be mad about is him stepping away from the garden to do this.”
He looked down and shuffled his feet. “But I do appreciate it, you know. You guys coming here and doing this for me..it means a lot.”
I nodded trying to take deep breaths. “Okay..let’s go in.”

His eyes lifted up and glanced at mine.
Even now, I’m still drawn into his atmosphere. Like he never left at all..I can walk to him and his presence still pulls at me. With his presence comes pain as all the memories flow right through..
I’m not ready. I can’t do this.
Paul came in and hugged George with him making a few comments on Paul’s new vegan jacket.
“And of course you saw Ringo over there?” Paul pointed to me and I panicked. Also, I forgot to take my meds so they saw me taking them.
“Popping pills aren’t you?” George teased. I froze but managed to say. “Just..my anxiety. Nothing too exciting.”
He nodded understanding and looked like he was about to say something, but forgot it.
Which might be for the best..I didn’t want to hear words of comfort from the man who abandoned me to scream into the void for years..
And yet, I still want to be closer with him. There must be something wrong with me.
Paul walked over to me as I was finishing setting up. “Sorry to put you on the spot like that. I really thought he was going to I don’t know..say something to you.”
I waved him off. “It’s fine. We had a story..it played out.” I looked up and looked to the side.
George was talking to a cameraman. “We had our moments in the sun..but if he wanted to reconnect somehow, it probably would’ve happened.
We just don’t have enough time for..well never mind.” Paul looked concerned. I waved him off. “I’m fine..let’s play.”
“Okay..but if there’s anything I can do, I’m right here with the bass.” He held it up and waved it around.
I laughed. “Okay you goof! Put that down before you break it!“
He huffed playfully. “Then I’ll buy another one, and you will pay me back.” I rolled my eyes, but I’m glad he drew me out of a dark place. I sighed then sat down.

Chapter Text

Paul pulled me to the side. “Hey you still doing okay? George said you seem twitchy.”
I suddenly felt annoyed.
“Well if George is so concerned..I feel like he can tell me himself. Now, please excuse me. I’ve got to take care of my twitching in the bathroom.”
He groaned. “Ringo..I’m sorry! I was just being the messenger. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m just..trying to hold all this together.”
I hugged him feeling bad about my outburst. I whisper. “I know. I’m just trying not to crack myself further..”

I sat on the toilet. Suddenly, everything just came rushing out.
“Oh God! I don’t know..why do this to me now!? I can’t give any more than I gave..and he just won’t want me when I..after everything. Why?” I sniffed.
I felt the back of my head. A clump of hair was clutched in my hands. Reality sat in and my body started shaking.
“Okay..” I breathe. “Okay..I’m fine, we’re fine. It’s okay..I’m safe.” I wiped my tears. “Let’s go.”

George was waiting for me when I came out.
“You doing alright?” He looked concerned and reached out to hug me but I stayed away.
“Why are you here?” My anger burst out. “Surely it’s not for your so-called friends. Certainly not for me..I’m sure you can ask Paul for the check, I’m sure he’s got money to spare.”
He shut his eyes shut. “Ritchie..it’s not like that. It’s just complicated. I don’t know how to explain it to you..”
I nodded. “Right. It was always complicated..well, at least we have a couple months.
We can finish this, then you can go on your merry way and forget about us. Forget me.”
I stung him. “You think I wanted to forget you!? I couldn’t if I tried! I just..you don’t want to love a person who is dying. I wanted to spare you the pain.”
Tears welled up. “Wow..um then consider me spared. See you out there..”
He sighed in exasperation. “Ritchie..that’s not what I..” but I already left. “Meant.” He rubbed his temple hard. “Fuck!” with a whisper. “I love you. Don’t go..”

Paul:
I looked up to the sun. “The kids must be fighting then, huh Johnny?” I close my eyes in peace.
“You always were better at handling those things than I ever could..” I sniffed and looked to the side. “I’m getting old John..can’t keep up with all the energy. I just want peace..I want you. Weird, I can feel you, like you’re still around..I wish I could find out why. Where are you? Where did you go?..”
“Talking to the sky again?” Ringo exclaimed behind me. His eyes looked puffy. “What did it say?”
“You okay?” I asked now very concerned. Ringo hasn’t seemed like himself since entering the building and seeing George again.
That made me sad because I wanted us all together to figure it out. That’s why I pushed for this session to remember what really matters, family..and remembering him..my John.
I still haven’t touched the demos..just been too scared, of what he will say..what it all meant. Saying the final goodbye..

“Do you have a cig?” Ringo asked. I pulled it out and lit the match.
“Thought you quit a long time ago.”
Ringo placed the cigarette on his lips.
“I do…I did. This is a special occasion.” He blew out the smoke.
There was a moment of silence. “Paul..I have stage 4. I was in remission. It’s pretty bad..” I was shocked. I couldn’t tell if my mouth was wide open. He looked at me very seriously. “Don’t tell George.”

“You had..what!? But you never showed any signs! And..wait you were..We would’ve helped you. How?..”
Tears were in his eyes. “I want you guys to remember the positive, go with the flow person I am. Not the sucky parts. That’s all..”
“B-but..” I stammered and sighed. “How long do you have?”
He shrugged. “Could be weeks..could be months. I know I’m staying until all this is done. I promise you that Paul.”

After he left, I went to the side and sat down on a rock, head in my hands.
“It's not right
In one life
Too much rain..” I sang softly.

And I cried and cried.

Chapter Text

By the end of the night, I was mentally exhausted. Yet sleep eluded me. I walked over to my desk where I glimpsed at the cruelest joke ever.
There lay one of John’s demo titled “Now and then”. Besides it was a piece of paper with John’s handwriting. “Think of me every now and then..”
I looked at it for the longest time.
What kind of sick bastard would torment me like this? Reviving a dead man, my friend and lover..what was the purpose? To get inside..money or to be one of us..

But he was right..I’ve have been forgetting, not on purpose but full on avoidance. I picked up the paper.
“Okay John..I’ll finish this for you.” I whisper to the dark. I looked at a picture of him at the side of my desk.
I think I took it circa early 60’s not quite 64..he was lying in my bed, looking seriously at me like he always did. How I took those moments for granted..
“When you’re gone..though I try, how can I carry on?”

“You’re serious.” George raised a brow. “You want to record that song..you can barely hear him. It’ll sound all staticky when it comes out.”
I raised my hands and harshly combed through my hair.
“I know it sounds insane. Trust me..I know. But we need to do this while we’re still here..please George, please understand..”
He sighed. “Fine..so we do this. Has Ringo agreed? Paul..you’re spacing out.”
“Oh yeah. You know he will.” I drew out of my thoughts.
He looked at me pleading. “How is he?”
Nope I can’t do this. Reality sat in and I started panicking. I’m going to lose 2 of my best friends. First John, then George and Ringo together..
I gasped. “You need to make up with him..You need your Ringo back.”
He raised his eyes. “Easier said than done. He won’t let me near him!”
“That’s because he’s hurt and scared. You cut a wound so deep, I don’t know if he’ll come back. But it’s not too late..please, I know what it’s like to leave with unfinished business.” I looked directly at him.
“Don’t make the same mistake. Reconcile while you still have time. You’ll both regret not saying the goodbye.”
He looked down tears in his eyes. “I don’t know how to anymore..”
I knelt down. “Yeah you do. You just need to find it again.”

Ringo walked in and started setting up. George cleared his throat. “Ringo, can we talk? Just talk.”
Ringo looked up with a tentative expression, but he found himself saying. “Sure.”

When they were leaving I thought saw someone standing in the distance.
Weird..

Chapter Text

Ringo:
“Okay..so talk.” I said arms crossed waiting for him. I was also trying not to give in to him. Hearts aren’t supposed to be burnt twice.
He ran his hands through his long hair. “I lied.”
I tilted my head up. “Lied about what?”
“I wasn’t trying to protect you from me. Well I was, but it’s the other way around.
I love you and I don’t want you to go through the pain of loving me especially this late in life with my cancer. That’s why I pushed you away..I got scared you wouldn’t want to leave, and I’ll have to make you so you wouldn’t have to see me die.”

He paused and looked into my eyes. I felt exposed and for the first time in a while, lying vulnerable for him. Tears welled up.
“And the disappearance of you? That hurt the most..George, I can’t keep sleeping with a ghost. You either love me or not..you either want me to be with you on your deathbed or watch me walk away..but I can’t lose you twice. I already cried enough..I’m sorry.”
I excused myself and leaned into a wall. He was behind me. The closeness was getting to me and I started to hyperventilate..He held my waist through it all, a secure anchor..I quickly turned and cuddled against him and sobbed. “I can’t say goodbye twice.”
“Then don’t..” He whispered trying to soothe me.
“You’ll disappear if I do..” I whisper.
“I can’t hold onto the pain anymore, if that all I have of you, I could hold onto just a bit longer..but I’m getting tired, so tired..I need stability. I need you, but you don’t need me.”
He looked down. “What if I do? And I’m just being stubborn.”
“Then crawl down to me from the big cloud and finally be with me.”

He reached down and grabbed me in a passionate kiss. We stayed there until I ran out of breath.
“Sorry..my lungs don’t work as they used to.” I whisper as he continued holding me.
“You mean you can’t make out for very long? At least wait until Mother is done cooking.”
He teased which made me break out in big laughter.

I started to gasp for air.
“Ritchie..Ringo, you okay?” George exclaimed with a worried expression.
“Get Paul..” I gasped out. I heard him leave. I tried to think about something other than the overwhelming pain I have..but the only thing I could do is hold on and sit against the wall. Also pray that this respiratory attack passes quickly, so I’m not here all night.
My mind calms down when I think of George..so that is good. Did we really kiss each other?

Paul:
I was outside working on another song, mostly closing my eyes and feeling the breeze. I can’t get the man that I saw out into the distance off my mind.
I sighed. This place must really be getting to me..that is if I’m seeing things that aren’t really there..hoping it’s a sign.
George ran up to me and I knew something wrong happened.
“I don’t know what happened..One second he was fine, the next he’s having like an asthma attack!”
I forgot that George doesn’t know..
“Umm..is it like a short attack or do we need to call the hospital?”
He shook his head now looking very scared. “Umm..I don’t know. Should we call?”
I looked at him. “Let’s just get to him and see..”

Ringo:
I heard footsteps, but my eyes are refusing to open.
“Ritchie baby..open your eyes.”
George was holding my upper body and trying to get me to respond more normally.
Paul came over and wiped the hair out of my face. “You’re okay Ritch..you’re here with us.” A moment. “Did you umm take your meds?”
“The morning ones..” I whisper. “Forgot the rest. Got too busy talking..do I need to go the hospital? I want to stay here with you guys!”
“And you will..” Paul assured. He turned away. “He’s fine George..let’s get him some water.” Paul turned back to me. “You need to tell him.”

I shook my head. “And have him leave again? No..I really do not.”
“And if you die here on the floor today? Don’t cling onto your ego! Tell him.”
I sobbed. “I can’t..
The pain is all I have! He said it himself..you don’t want to love a person who is dying..”
Paul grimaced. “Well maybe..but loving someone who doesn’t know that the other person is dying is worse..think about it.”

George came back but he was frowning.
“Ringo, have you been stealing my meds?”
Oh no..no no.
“No.” Fuck! Why did I say that?
He held the medication up. “Don’t fucking lie to me.” His eyes looked dangerous, the warmth gone.
“I’m not. I can explain..” I was panicking inside.
“Get out.”

“Now George..we need him to be on drums. Think about this.”
“I have. He better not be here tomorrow..or I’m calling the police.”
“George please..” I pleaded.
“Get out now..before I make you.”
I nodded. “I’ll pack my bags then.”

Chapter Text

I sniffed. Everything is passing like a whirlwind and I can’t believe that happened..one moment passed like pure bliss..the next a horrid nightmare.
I was folding some of my clothes when Paul arrived at the door. “You should’ve told him.”
“I know..” I whisper. I turned to him. “Take care of George for me please..”
He nodded. “Of course..need some help?”
I had to grab a hold of my bed. “I’m kinda feeling dizzy.”

Paul sprung to action. “Why don’t you take a nap, and I’ll come get you around 15 minutes?”
I nodded. “That’ll be great.” I hugged him tightly. “Thanks..for everything.”
“Of course..you’re my brother.” He said and tears started to fall down.

Paul:
I walked into the studio. George was fiddling with his guitar.
“Is he leaving?” He said without looking up.
“Yeah, in a bit. He said he was feeling dizzy, so I’m letting him rest.”
“Probably more lies.” was the reply.
I was about to say something about that, but I decided to say this: “Let’s play something while we wait..have you seen this commercial? Probably about auto tires or something..me and Linda went to the theater and saw it, and this has been stuck on my mind..”

“Thinking of Linking my life with you..”

After a while, I could tell George was feeling frustrated.
“We don’t have to do this song..do you have any requests?” I tried to shift the mood.
“No it’s not that! It’s just..I don’t know what to do with him..with Ringo. I feel like he’s been straight up lying to my face. And you’re letting him nap. You’re a straight accomplice!”
I glared at him.
“Don’t make accusations that you’re not ready to see through.” I sighed. “Why don’t you talk to him? I’m sure only he could clear up this mess..”
“I don’t know..”
“For..George, you’re running on limited time! Would you spend it angry forever..or do you actually want to spend your life with him?”
He thought about it then drew a large sigh. “I’ll talk to him..”

George:
I snuck in his room..the room was dark and I could just barely see the outline of him laying down.
I sat down by his side and lightly traced his arm. He stirred as if sensing my presence.
“What time is it?..I have to go to the airport.” He mumbled, his face all the way smushed in the pillow.
“You don’t have too..” I whisper.
“Georgie?”

I sighed. “You don’t have to leave..I was angry and out of line. But tell me..about the meds, did you by any chance take mine?”
He glanced up. “They’re mine..you should know. I should’ve told you the first time..It was all the substances, everything I abused and it came back to haunt me.
My bald head..that was the first time, I was fine until I wasn’t..and now, it’s back.
I’m sorry George, I never meant to deceive or hurt you. I was scared and I didn’t want you to think of me with cancer..I wanted you to think of me as your Ringo, just as I am..just as you love me.”

My body shakes as I sobbed. He took my head and held me as I cried. We melted into each other.

Chapter Text

Ringo:
I looked up at him. “So..after all that, would you still make love to me?” I whisper. “Me and my cancer ridden body..and all my scars. George, I think I need you.”
His eyes darken. “Lay down Ritchie..” he whispered back. So I did..he made sure I was comfortably secure and safe before going further and rubbing my scars.
“You love them..” I sang softly. “I do..” he sang back. “I’ll love them forever..even when you’re gone.”
“Good..me too. I’ll love all your scars forever if you let me. Even the ones they don’t see..”
He looked at me. “You’re fascinating..”
I broke into a grin.

After that, George had become more attentive to my needs and aware of Whenever it seems like a session went for too long or my surroundings were too much, he made sure adjustments were made.
“Here’s your morning tea.” He handed me the cup. I felt the urge to kiss this man right here and now. He smiled as if he knew..
He looked to see if we were on camera then pulled me to the side for protection and my privacy.
Then he kissed me so passionately, the world melted..and we let it burn.

“Sorry to interrupt you lovebirds..” Paul came in the room. “George you’re on vocals. We’re doing Real Love..Ringo, you all right to play drums?”
I smiled. “Always..” I spotted a cute strawberry plush. Soft too. “This is cute.”
Paul looked up and saw me holding the strawberry. He gasped.
“You ok?” George noticed Paul’s face turning pale. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”
“Maybe I have..” Paul shook his head. “I’m going to get some air.”

Paul:
I cried when my face hit the cold wind..why him? Why now? I thought I made my peace with John’s death, but my soul still feels unsettled as if it’s unsatisfied with the answer..
And all these signs..
I closed my eyes. No, he’s not coming back. Why do I still feel his soul enter me through the wind?..

“Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream..”
A familiar melody..

“John..are you there?” I called out. Again, the song continues..
“Relax your mind..for tomorrow never knows. listen to the color of your dreams. Love is all..love is you..”
I close my eyes in peace. “Thank you..” my voice was carried through the air.
I heard a scream. On high alert I ran back into the house.
Ringo held up a mic, ready to throw as he and George stared at a dirty stranger. The stranger looked up and I gasped. “John..”
I shook my head wanting desperately for this to be a joke..a bad joke at that.
“Well I can’t claim all the credit..”
I froze. I turned..time was cruel but the face is unmistakable.
“H-h-how?” I gasped. “You died! I was at your funeral..I cried for you. No..this isn’t happening.”
I went closer to this stranger who had the audacity to impersonate him. I’ve cried enough. “I don’t know what kind of person you think you are..but I’m not going to tolerate whatever the fuck this is! Please leave now.”
“Macca..”
I shut myself off. “No..don’t you dare use that.” I was close to crumbling down. “Only he could do that..leave and collect your money once you do.”
“As you wish..” He left head hanged low.

“But what if it was him?..” Ringo put the mic down.
“I wish it was..” I looked at Ringo with the sadness in my eyes. “You know how much I wish it was him..He did a good job, but you can’t bring someone back from the dead.
Trust me, I’ve tried..” Ringo looked curious so I continue. “I prayed every night asking God to bring the ones I loved back. If you could just bring my mom..bring back John.
You know after John died..I prayed every night for months. I’d do whatever it takes..I kept thinking he’ll walk through the door, and everyday..he won’t. So I stopped trying. I lost my faith.”
“Oh Paul.” Ringo hugged me and whispered. “I did the same thing, but with George. So I know..”

I cried.
“Don’t you think I wished so badly for that guy to be him? I just..long ago was a fairytale and I need to wake up now.”

Chapter Text

Interacting with that stranger drained me..
We had to cut the session early. I kept getting in my head. Luckily, they understood. I just wanted to be free from this nightmare.
Turns out, I’m not even halfway through..Another letter sat carefully by the desk. I dreaded to see what it said..

“I’m sorry for scaring you old friend..you know where to find me if you want some clarity.
Look around..look around dear love of mine. -JL

Ringo found me slumped on the floor, bedroom all rearranged and things all broken on the floor.
“I think I finally broke..”
He sat down and leaned into me. “I think we both did.”

*a little bit earlier*

Ringo:
“So..that was a shock. Seeing him again I mean..if that really was him.” I rambled to George as we stumbled out into the hallway. “Do you think it was him?”
“I doubt it. Sometimes people are so sick for attention..they’ll try anything to get noticed.
I’ll never get used to them trying to replace my friends..” He sighed. “Listen Ringo..I have to tell you something.”
He got interrupted by Olivia running to give George a hug.
“Sorry for the sudden drop in..I was just in town and then I remembered you guys were doing your thing!”
“Of course..you’re always welcome.” I said. George gave her a kiss which is fine..totally fine. Not bothered at all.

“And you know Ringo?” George looked at me.
I softly said “Hi.” then looked down.
“How are you? We haven’t seen you in forever! You know, we need to have dinner one of these days..how’s Barbara and the kids?”
I sucked in my breath.
I haven’t thought about them for a long time. It’s just so painful..I wanted to block it out. “We umm..we divorced a while ago actually. And she took the kids, so I haven’t seen them.”
“Oh my gosh!” She covered her mouth in horror. “I’m so sorry. What happened!?”

“I um..in the end, she just didn’t want to stick with me and my..well anyway, can’t force someone to stay so..we’re done.”
“I didn’t know that.” George said surprisingly.
I looked at his eyes. “No you wouldn’t..”
“Well umm..anyway, me and George are going to catch up. Oh, how are you? George told me you had a panic attack?..are you doing better now?”
I looked down. “Yeah..um just a new thing. They’ll be gone in 6 months.”
George frowned.

“This is more than a panic attack, is it?” Olivia exclaimed. Me and George stared at each other with all this unspoken tension..
George turned and hugged his wife. “C’mon, I’ve got to see if Paul’s doing okay..”
I spoke up. “I’ll do it..you should spend some time with Olivia since she’s here.”
He seemed to accept that answer..his face wanted to say something else. I left before he could.
I’m alone again. And I don’t know why I suddenly started caring so much about that..it’s not like he’s going to leave Olivia for me..
not that I want him to, if being with her causes him peace and comfort. I don’t feel like I’m a saboteur, but it would be nice for someone to fight for me and love me out loud..not just through the silence.
A sharp pain echoed through my chest. Luckily it passed quickly.

Chapter Text

“So I told him about my divorce..” I leaned into Paul as we sat by the front door.
“Oh?” He raised a brow. “And how did he take it?..”
I shrugged. “Fine. He was surprised though, but that’s expected.
We weren’t really talking..and plus I mostly laid in my bed and cried all the time..be thankful you weren’t there. I doubt I was very much company.”
Paul hugged me. “That’s where you’re wrong..I would’ve loved to hang out with you, no matter what mood you’re in.”
I sniffed. “Thanks..God, you’re such a great friend!”

After a minute, Paul spoke up. “George’s cancer came back.”
Everything came crashing down..
“What?..” I breathed. His eyes widened. “Oh shit! I forgot I wasn’t supposed to let you know..please forgive me, George swore me to secrecy. I only know cause he’s kinda living with me..you know.”
I was dumbfounded. Truly no words to say..
Hearing that quite literally took my breath away, not that I had much to begin with..
I slowly got up. “Excuse me for a minute..” then walked out the door.

I knew where to find him. “Were you ever going to tell me?” I breathed.
He turned to look at me, his face slightly pale.
“It’s bad enough I had to hear it from Paul..but never from you..
I thought I meant more to you than leaving out a huge omission of your health..but then again, you decided to cut the cord and walked away like we were nothing!”
“Ringo..I didn’t mean to keep this from you. I didn’t want to tell anyone.”
I shook my head. “I wish I could believe you..I really wish I could.
If only you never hurt me..you never had to watch me fall apart from your absence.
It was a privilege that you never had to feel. I’m leaving for the day, can you check on Paul..the stranger might have hit a nerve.”

He ran after me..
“Ringo..wait!” He gently grabbed my arm and I pulled away. “I do love you..”
I started tearing up.
“No..no you don’t. You loved what I offered you.” I could’ve just slapped him on the face. He recoiled. “I’m taking a walk..don’t follow me.”

I braced myself for the cold air. The wind stung my face as I walked further and further away from the house.
After what seems like hours from the cold, I decided to head back. The room felt empty..no one was in it.
“Excuse me..where’s George? He was right here..” I asked someone who was putting a few things away.
“He left..a couple hours ago. I don’t think he was planning to come back.” The guy noticed my mixed emotions on my face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I managed to say. If only my heart could feel the same..
The guy left dimming the lights. I was alone again with my thoughts..he left again.
I should not be so surprised, that’s his typical approach to hard things, and yet my heart still shatters..

Chapter Text

Paul:
I rushed to the other side of the cottage and pounded violently on George’s door.
“What in the bloody hell!?” George yelled then stopped when he saw my tear stricken face. “Oh God! Is Ritchie?..”
I shook my head.
“He’s not breathing George. Must be the long exposure in the cold..I went to wake you just in case.”
He quickly put on his jacket and softly closed the door. “Show me.”

Ringo:
I woke up to machines. I was confused..am I in a hospital? What happened?..
I made my eyes open. Everything is blurry until my vision straightens out and I could see George. What is he doing here?
He took a big breath. “Despite everything that happened..I never wanted you dead Ritchie.”
My eyes welled up. “Well..that’s good to know. You been here long?” I asked to ease the tension.

“Me? Just another Tuesday.” He says with a half grin which I know he’s faking.
“Don’t you dare be guilty for me..I made the choice to walk around 2 hours in the cold, not you.”
“Still..I feel responsible. And not just for that..for all the times I let you down. The blocked number..the love I threw to the side.
Even just now! You only ever wanted love from me, and I just spit it in your face for years. I didn’t even bother to hold your hand as you reached it..you don’t deserve me. You never have..I only let you down.”

I reached for his hand and he reciprocated squeezing my hand tightly, but not too tight.
“Your hands are freezing!” He observed.
“It must be cold here.” I said. He took off his jacket and placed it around my shoulders. I melted into him as we huddled for warmth.
“I just want you to know..I forgive you.” I started to say. “And I’m not doing it just for you..I need to forgive myself too. We always arrived at the wrong time..
we were young, we didn’t know how to love each other..we only knew how to break. But time went on, and with it..hopefully maturity and wisdom will help us fix what we broke.”
He looked at me with tears in his eyes. “You’re amazing Ringo..you always were. I’m always going to be fascinated by you.”

“Just fascination?..” I teased. He got closer until our breathes mingled with each other..
“That and maybe a bit more..” He kissed me and the it felt like the room caught on fire and I really wanted to burn.

Paul:
I was sitting on a stone feeling the breeze..notebook filled with half scribbled ideas of a song. Ever since that stranger arrived, I haven’t felt the peace I needed to complete a song or even write my own thoughts without getting in my head..
Why am I letting some guy get under my skin so badly? Oh right..he tried to imitate my friend and lover. Thats why.

God, I hate people like this! I meant what I said to Ringo..I wanted this stranger to be him. I really did. Hoping for something to be true so badly can ruin us if we let it..and I’m tired of letting John’s death and absence take every inch of me.
I need to finally let him go..
A piece of paper fluttered down to the ground in front of me. I quickly picked it up. On it a simple word was written:
“Breathe.”

“Fuck..” I sobbed.
“Why..why. Why still do this to me? I need to move on..you fucking won’t let me! And I don’t understand..I really don’t.”

I can’t do this anymore.

Ringo:
George was in the corner filing some paperwork for his record company and finishing up some work he neglected this week.
I made a half smile. It’s nice that George came running to the hospital to see me, but I know it won’t be long until something big happens between us and he’ll leave over and over again. It’s hard loving a ghost. I sighed.

“Mr. Starr..” A guy looking like he came fresh from law school walked over and handed me something.
“Oh God, call me Ritchie! Mr. Starr makes me sound old..I hope I’m not getting sued. My bills are pilling up.”
“Right uh..I’ll just set this here.” And he quickly left.
“Okay..” I got my reading glasses on. “Oh my god!”
George looked up at my exclamation. “What?”
I looked at him horrified.
“Paul’s never done this before..he canceled the sessions. Like full on cancellation. It’s done.” I leaned back into the pillows supporting me up as the realization hit me. “It’s over.”

Chapter Text

Paul:
“So Ringo’s fucking distraught! Everything that we worked on for decades..and now the cancellation..he thinks the Beatles are actually over..”
I let the harsh tone in his voice wash over me on the phone. I interjected.
“The Beatles were over a long time ago. We’re what’s left. Like what you see?” I sarcastically included.
George scoffed. “I don’t understand..even when you were sick, you still came to practice, still worked harder then the rest of us..You never did anything quite like this before, so why now?”
The sigh I let out was loud. “It’s this stranger. Somehow he arrived in my life and gave me a bunch of signs claiming to be my John..He got in my head. And I fucking let him!
Cause I was desperate enough to believe a lie..cause it’s always Paul and John..
Paul and John, but John left Paul in the dark. If ever there was a moment he cared, he wouldn’t be doing this to me.”

“Oh.” was the reply. “Paul, do you want me to come over?”
I sighed. “No..I did it to myself so I must relearn how to pick the pieces up again.”
“Well that sounds tough..but I’m actually at your door right now.”
I quickly hung up and ran outside. On seeing George, my lifelong friend..I collapsed in his arms and sobbed. “I’m so scared!” I confessed. “I don’t know what’s happening to me and I’m scared of the person I’m becoming.
Maybe I finally lost my mind!” I stumbled back. “I..I don’t know anything anymore! I don’t trust myself..I barely trust my own mind..I’m so scared George. I’m so scared!”
He can only hold me as I broke down. I finally admitted my thoughts out loud. “I might not even know who I am anymore..”

“You do.” He whispered. “And you’ll know..you always knew who you were even back then when we didn’t know what we were becoming.
Don’t let some random stranger convince you you’re less then you are..He’s taking more out of you than you already gave. Don’t let him..we still need our Paulie. You’re the only one we’ve got..”
I made a half smile at that. “Thanks.” I whispered. “Out of all the people, I needed you to slap some sense into me.” I heavily sighed and chuckled. “If ever there was a year where I do go insane, I suppose this might be it!” I sighed. “God.” I sighed and put my face in my hands. “What do I do now?”
George sighed. “Well, at first you freak out..then you start finding your peace again.
Once you surrender to serenity, you’ll find yourself. And you’ll come back stronger.
Also, me and Ringo are right next door. Lean on us if you have to. Right now, you have to.” I nodded knowing he was right. “And if I don’t know how?”
“You’ll remember. You always do..”

Ringo:
I was reading on the couch. It’s been a lazy day, there was little I could do since arriving back home from the hospital.
George came through the door. It’s been raining and I know since his shirt was drenched in water. I tried to not think about the impure thoughts that now swirled in my brain..
“How was it?” I looked up from my book and saw George’s face went pale. “Oh god..is Paul?..”
I braced myself.
His eyes widened. “Oh no. Umm..he’s fine. Just a lot of shaken nerves. Knowing him, he’ll be in the studio soon. He could never stay away.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “You scared me. I thought we were going to plan a funeral.” I turned to him. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I just..never seen him like that. We grew up together..confined on practically anything. But I’ve never seen him so..” George started to tear up showing his most vulnerable self.
“C’mere.” I raised my arms out as he walked over and bent down so I could give him a hug. “I’m sorry. It’s hard seeing a friend not be happy or their best self.
Trust me, I know..Paul saw me at my worst of the worst. He sticked around when I didn’t feel like doing it for myself..for that, we should do the same for him.”
George nodded.
“I finally understand. When I was holding Paul, I began to think of you..alone in your house, wailing for me and I was not there..I was your ghost. I wish to spend my shortened life making it up to you.”
Tears started to well up.
“I want to believe..but what if something else happens and you leave? What if my cancer gets worse?..would you still want to be with me then? Words don’t mean anything if there’s nothing to hold it.”

“Thought you’d say that..” He presented a brown paper bag. “I got you the books you wanted and..” He gave me a cup. “The chai you like. Not too many spices of course.”
I beamed and gave him a great hug. “I love you Georgie! Thank you..I need to start reading.”
“I’ll leave you to it..I’ll be out in the garden.” He went to leave when there was a knock.
“Can you go get it dear?” I asked.
George walked to the door and opened it. “What can I do for you?” He exclaimed.
“Have you been to see Paul?”
George eyes furrowed. “Just went and visited him..why?”
“That’s the thing..I went to wake him up, for practice you see..cause that’s my job.
He wasn’t there..and I asked around. No one’s seen him..it’s like he disappeared!”

Me and George looked at each other with heightened expressions. This was bad..

Chapter Text

Paul:
He was calling me..I know it. I had to follow him.
I walked to the edge of the mountain. “So you actually came?” The stranger exclaimed. “You got my card..”
“Who are you..And why do you want me?” I called out putting my hands in my pockets. I’m shivering from the biting cold.
“I think you know..” He looked at me, face softening. “I don’t want your insanity..though I’ll take it if it makes you believe in me.
But I wanted you long before that..Macca.” He started to walk towards me, but I took a step back.
I shook my head not wanting to believe a word he says. “You died.” I whispered. “I’m just supposed to believe you’re actually here? What point would it be if you..” it hit me. “You faked your death.” My eyes widened. “Oh god.”
I collapsed to the ground. “You’re not him..you’re not John. He would never ever dare to!”
“This John had to! They were after my life. All these bloody hounds..they threatened you too, you know..”
“N-no.” I breathed not believing it. That can’t be the reason..
He continued. “Got too deep into all the political stuff and the CIA hounded me for years..one day they called me down to the station for some reasons that they always made up.
I went down to indulge them. Basically, it was between you and me and..well I couldn’t let them get to you, now could I?”

My brain short circuited. “So you sacrificed yourself.” I started to sob. “And left me for the fallout. Thanks for that, by the way.
All my trauma and pain from losing you..guess I didn’t need to have it after all. Cause I stayed..and fell down for you. And to say it was all for nothing?..”
He recoiled. “It..it was not for nothing. Paul, I’m honored to be remembered from you.”
“But you didn’t feel the need to let me know that you’re still alive?..I thought I mattered to you!” I yelled not caring if the world knew. Let them.

John sighed and took off his dirty glasses and rubbed his eyes. “You do.” He whispered. “God knows how much..but I knew that I couldn’t take you with me..you had everything to lose and at the time,
I had nothing. It was a better trade off and I’ll do it again if it means not losing you. Please Paul, understand..everything I do is for you and for us. I won’t do anything else otherwise.”
I shook my head. “I could’ve lost the concerts..I would lose it all and go into danger for you. John, why didn’t you at least ask me or say goodbye?”
John looked at me.“Even you don’t believe it. Paul, I know you..you can’t stay away from the stage. As for saying something..I didn’t want to be the one to say it. Looking in your eyes would only just hurt.”
“Yeah, now you know the feeling.” I said hoping it’ll sting a bit and it did. I sighed. What do I do now?
“Okay..you can stay.” I said to this stranger. “But only so you can shower. You need it.”
He grinned. “So you believe me?”
“Nope. But I’m tired, my energy’s drained, and I want to head back home..you might as well come with me, unless you want to stay here.”
He walked behind me as we head back to my house.

George and Ringo were waiting for us at the bottom of the hill.
Ringo had a very worried expression while George was pinching his lips in a not so pleasant way. “Paul, can we talk?” He pulled me to the side. I looked back and Ringo looked very scared to be in front of this guy.
“You fucking..” he had to stop himself. “I thought you went out to die. And now you’re back with him!? What are you thinking?..what’s the end goal here?“
“I don’t know!” I put my hands up. “I don’t..I’m thinking..what if it’s him?”
George huffed and rubbed his face. “Gah! I don’t need this. Paul..I’m going to say this with as much respect and restraint I can.” I braced myself.
“I know you and John had some connection that even me and Ringo don’t know half of..I also know that when it comes to John, your head kinda goes out the window..”
“That’s not..”
George raised his eyebrows.
“It isn’t? Paul..you’re inviting this random person in your house! You don’t even know if it is him. For all we know, he’s telling you exactly what you want to hear. And so far..you’re falling for it.”
He sighed and looked down.
“Paul..because I love you, I’m saying this. If you’re sure it is in fact him, be very careful, cause if things end up like last time..remember you on the floor? I had to carry you into your own bedroom..”
Another sigh. “I can’t promise you that I’m going to be there to pick you up.”
He left me in silence.

I made John a hot tea. He sat down on the couch with blankets bundled around him. He took a sip.
“You always did make good tea.” I chuckled. There he is. He always hated how I make my tea, (I make it sweeter than he likes) so to counteract he started cracking jokes about how good and sickly sweet it is out of pure fun spite.
“So George is not on board with it?” John exclaimed to dispense with the silence.
“He’s just making sure I’m being careful with my heart..you should’ve have seen me during the middle of it.” I shook my head. “It was bad.”
I took a sip of my tea and grimaced.
I accidentally poured in too much sugar. I put it down. “John or maybe not John..I’m putting a lot on the line for letting you in..even for letting you stay at my house.
I just need to know..I mean, really need to know..is it really you? If it isn’t..you better tell me if I’m wasting my time and energy that I fought so hard to get back.”

He placed his dirty glasses to the coffee table. He looked at me and I saw those light brown eyes.
Dimmed but never out..all those years have roughed his exterior but his gaze always seems to soften when he looks at me.
“John..” I breathed. As if in a daze I drifted towards him and sat on the couch.
“I’m sorry Paul..for everything and still it won’t be enough.”
I nodded and placed my hand by him.
“It’s okay. I forgave you a long time ago. I forgive you now.”
“Oh. Well that’s good to know.” He simply said.
We held hands and in the silence that was enough.

Chapter Text

John:
He was staring at me..I can feel it. His worried glance with a blue tint. He looked at me like I was a fragile glass that could be dropped at any moment..
“I’m not disappearing Paul..at least not today. Takes too much effort.”
He just looked at me as if he’s been haunted..and maybe he was.
He sucked in a breath. “Wouldn’t be your first time drifting through the world like one. Your ghost haunted me for so many years..it’s like second nature at this point. Almost normal.” He says with a dry chuckle.
“Where did he go?..I dunno. Out the front window! But I do wonder..what’s it like to be back as a human?”
I looked down and spoke softly. “It depends. I’ve haven’t felt like one for so long..”
I looked at him and he gasped as I studied him. “I kept wandering wanting to come home, but I couldn’t.”
“Why couldn’t you?” He breathed knowing the answer but wanting me to say it.

“It wasn’t with you. Paul, you are my home..home is you. It didn’t feel right otherwise.
Never felt right..even when I tried to find it with anyone else. It wasn’t right.“
“Then why do it at all?” He shook his head.
I was about to speak when I heard the knock on the door.
“I forgot that I invited George and Ringo for tea. Um..I’ll go get it.” Paul quickly got up.
I picked up my tea and started to go into the other room. “I’ll make myself scarce.”
Paul reached his hand out. “No! Wait..stay. They probably need to see you.” Something in his voice made me pause so I said. “Okay.”

He opened the door and welcomed them in. “C’mon..let’s sit in the kitchen. More sunlight that way..”
George glared harshly at me when we saw each other. “So..you took him in.”
“I did.” Paul stood his ground. “And he’s coming in with us.”
George looked at Paul. “I really hope for your sake, you know what you’re doing. If this destroys you, I can’t watch..please just understand my concerns.”
Paul nodded. “I do.” George nodded, muttered a small “hi” to me..then went to meet up with Ringo again.

“What a charmer!” I sarcastically said.
“He’s just looking after me.” He walked towards the kitchen but looked back at me and stretched out his hand. “You coming?”
What other choice did I have? Of course, I took it.

George:
When I was finally able to make it outside, out of the corner of my eye I saw Ringo laying on the grass, head tilted towards the sun..
I layed beside him. As if he could sense it, he turned and wrapped himself against me.
“I could stay out here forever if you’d let me.” He sighed.
“Me too.” I hugged him and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Now you know why I love my garden so much.”
“I do. It drives me crazy watching you disappear in it and won’t come home for hours.” He chuckled. “I hope I’ll always live with you in Friar Park.” He confessed.
“You will. As long as I’m around and maybe after..you’ll always have a place in my home. Ringo..you are my home. Even after I’m gone, that won’t change ever. Not ever..”
He reached and kissed me hard. We went into a passionate embrace where we lost any sense of the time.

“Looks the lovebirds are out!” I heard the strangers voice. I gave him my harshest glare and wrapped Ringo in my protectiveness.
Whoever this stranger is, he’s not going to come any farther and hurt my Ringo.
As if sensing the mood, his voice faltered and said. “I’ll uh go check in on Paul in the kitchen. I’ll leave you guys to your privacy.” And he walked off.
Ringo shuddered. “I don’t know what to feel about all this. I want to believe it’s him, that we do have our friend back and he’s here..but it just feels so..nothing about it is normal.”
I nodded. “I’ll protect you. If you feel too weird around him, you can always come back over to me. I’ll keep you safe.”
He smiled. “And I’ll protect you as well! We always do..”
I smiled and hugged him tightly.
“Georgie, are we going to be okay?” He breathed into my chest. “I mean all of us..including Paul, cause I’m like super worried for him..but mostly us. When this is all over, would you want to stay with me and never be a drifting ghost ever again?..”
“Of course we will.” I whisper back.
“And after all this, you know you’re coming home with me..besides I already asked Olivia for a divorce.”

His eyes widened in shock. “You didn’t..” he breathed. “But you love her! And your son..you adore him. Please don’t throw away your family just for me.”
“I’ll still love her and my son..you know I’ll love him till the end, but I decided there’s plenty of room to love you too.
And they’ll still stay living in Friar Park. I’m not going to throw them off to the street.
We’ll all live together. I just..spent so much time denying the part that yearned so much for you. No more. I made up my mind..the thing is, are you okay with all this?”
He beamed.
“Yes! Of course. I’ll always want to live with you. And if Oliva and Dani doesn’t mind, I love the idea of us all living together. George..let’s make it happen! Our future is here right now.”

Chapter Text

John:
“I see Georgie manages to keep his charm.” I sarcastically quipped.
I heard no response as Paul was staring at the sunlight streaming through the window.
“Hmm? Oh yes, I’d argue his humor declined since the second diagnosis..though hopefully, since he and Ringo are on better terms, who knows?” He turned around and smiled. My heart melted.
“Come look at the sun with me.” I walked over and wrapped my arms around him. He leaned his head back. “You look content.” I whisper.
“I think I’m starting too..that or I’m in the middle of a wonderful dream. Please don’t wake me..at least for a while longer..”
“I wouldn’t dare.” I breathed into him.

We stood there for a few minutes. I broke the silence by saying.. “Anything planned for today?”
“Hmm..yes. Honing down Free as a Bird which is turning into a pain. Then the main event Now and That also has been difficult..mostly your vocals. You sound far away on those tapes. I could barely hear you.”
I looked down. “I was far away.”
“But you’re back, aren’t you?” He started clearing the counter.
“Depends on how much you clap your hands. I probably have some pixie dust left.”
Paul laughed and it felt like home. I’ve been away for so long..

“It’s good to hear you laugh again.” I said.
There was a pause. “Come to the studio with us..We need you. I need you..we’ll find something for you to do.”
I made a half smile. What I wouldn’t give for one more song with him. I brushed his hair back.
“Maybe another time..I need to lay low for a bit, I’m dead after all!” As if sensing his concern, I said. “You’ll be okay. You always are..”
He sighed disappointed. “I know I will..but I want to be with you and you with me. I’m tired of always being strong. I want to be with you..I’ve waited long enough!” He pouted which I could never resist.
“Okay..one session but if all hell breaks loose, I’m blaming George.”

Paul’s voice blends beautifully with the melody. An addiction I can’t go without..his fingers hit the keys on the piano.
“Now with this bridge..well it can go either way, but let’s try the up and down vibrato..” he looked up at me and smiled reassuring himself I was still here and listening. We connect really well with that..always have.

I got drawn out of my thoughts. “So Paul let you stay, huh?” George sat by me.
“Seems like it. You have a problem with it?”
George sighed very heavily. “No..I’m too old to have one.” He looked at Paul shuffling some papers on top of the piano. “Listen, I really hope you are what you say you are…if you are, then great we won’t stop you..live your life, you guts deserve it..
But there has been many people claiming to be our “best friend John!” I know Paul has had hundreds..one nearly broke his heart by how close it was to you.” He sighed. “I’m not trying to be difficult.
You didn’t see how he was that night..I saw, and that’s why I’m very protective of him.
So, just be careful and actually hold his heart this time..that’s all I ask. Cause he can act all strong and sorted out..but he’s vulnerable when it comes to his John, and that’s what I’m worried about..”

I didn’t know what to think about all that.
“You look lost in thought..George say something?” He climbed on my lap and I held him kissing his neck. “Comfortable?” I teased. He laughed. “Yes..very.”
“Yeah, no..the conversation was great.”
He looked concerned. “But..what did he say?”
“I didn’t realize just how much trouble you went through with these “fake me’s”..I’m sorry that you ever had to go through that in the first place. George said there was one that really shook you..”
He sighed heavily.
“There was one. He spoke just right..knew our history, yet still..there was something off. I could always feel you even when you were away. I couldn’t feel him. Plus, his eyes were hazel.” He paused. “You want to know how I know it’s really you?..it’s in the eyes. I know your eyes. I know you.”
“You know me..” I breathed then I spoke up to the room. “Excuse me, but I need to steal Paul away for a bit..he needs to take a nap.”
“But I’m not sleepy.” He whispered.
“I know..but they don’t need to know everything. And I need to take you home..”

Chapter Text

George:
I saw him glance outside of the car with a very worried expression. His hands turned white with how hard he gripped them. I put my hand on his knee. “It’s going to be okay.” I whisper.
“I know..I just hate hospitals. Always have..I always felt alone.”
I understood him. After you spend your life weaving in and out of them, there’s this quiet feeling of nerves creeping whenever you enter. It’s a feeling you never get out..
I held his hand. “You won’t be alone this time..you’ll never be alone again. I’m with you now.”
He teared up. “Thanks.” He whispered and I saw his smile again.
“Good.” I said. “Now, let’s get some blood drawn for the 5th time again.” He chuckled at that.

A nurse walked over to us. “So who’s going first?” She asked. Ringo tensed up and I rubbed his legs. “Want me to go first?” I whisper. He shook his head.
“No..I need to do this.” He sucked in a breath then walked forward to sit on the chair. The nurse smiled in sympathy. “I’m scared of needles too. It helps if you look out the window and think of something that you love.”
Ringo smiled as he looked at me. “Well, that’s easy..I’m with you watching you work in the garden near the small water we call a pond..
The sun tilted just right on your hat. I could help you, and I probably should..but I chose to watch as I sipped my tea and place it on a white table. I always love watching you work.”
I smirked. “What was I working on then? If you can read my thoughts..”
“You were planting lotuses all around and on top of the lili pads. You smiled cause that’s one of your favorite things to do. Plant the seeds and watch them grow..or in this case bloom.”

“Sounds like paradise.” The nurse hummed. “By the way, you’re all good to go. I just need to do George’s, then you two are all set. You’re the easiest patients I’ve had, by the way.”
I walked over and gave Ringo a kiss on the forehead. “I’m proud of you..you did great and that wasn’t too bad.”
“I had you and the memory I can pull anytime I need you.” He smiled. “And that’s all that you can ever need if it’s love..and with you it is.”
God I love him.

We headed back home. Ringo was falling asleep in the car..It was a long day for the both of us.
A nap sounded really good. We stepped inside and saw that someone was in our bed. “Umm..hello?” Whoever was in our bed sprung apart. Paul looked frantic as he tried to pull the sheets up to cover himself. “It’s not what it looks like!”
“Well, what does it look like?! You’re in our bed!” I took a sharp breath. “Is he with you?”
“Umm..”
The stranger poked his head up. “Well I was..”
I can’t do this..I’m too tired today for this. I glared at this “John” and said “Get out.”
“Surely there can be some reason here?..” Paul started to say. “I mean, it was my idea after all and..”
“Both of you get out before I throw you out..I’m not doing this today. I’ll talk to you later Paul, but this is not happening right now.”
Paul nodded in sad understanding. “We’ll leave you to your privacy. Apologies for the mess. I’ll clean it up..”
“Oh you’re definitely going to do that..have you lost your goddamn mind!?
You don’t even know that that is your John..”
“It is..” he retorted. I continue.
“Even if for some reason it is, to immediately jump right into sleeping with him so fast..how do you know he won’t hurt you or act careless with your heart again?
And you brought him to our bed..which is supposed to be used for only us by the way..” I paused trying to remember to breathe. Ringo rubbed my shoulders.
I sigh in relief that he’s there to calm me down. “It’s okay..this is not worth your energy anymore.” He turned to the others and whispered. “You should probably head back..it’s getting late. We’ll talk more tomorrow..”
They nodded and shuffled in awkwardness trying to gather their clothes and headed out. I was relieved when I heard the door close.

Not much was said after..We were getting ready to lay down, Ringo rubbing in his nighttime lotion.
“This stranger has you riled up a bit..I can tell. Why does it mean so much to you?”
“Why aren’t you nervous like before?..” I retorted but regretted when he looked hurt at that comment. “Sorry Ringo.”
“It’s okay..I’m still a bit nervous, but I trust that Paul can make his own decisions and judgements about his love life, like he does ours.. our bed being the exception. If Paul says it’s him, I’m going to skeptically trust him like I always find myself doing..” He looked down and chuckled. “He’s my biggest brother after all.”

“And here I thought I was..” I teased. “But seriously, if this means that much to you, I’ll try.
“That’s all I ask..and you still are..” His voice dropped down in a soft whisper.
“But I don’t do what I do with you..sleep with you like a brother.” I shivered.
The nap plan flew out the window as I pulled him in an embrace and we fell down in our bed.

Chapter Text

John:
I hurried to catch up with Paul running far away from where we are.
I stopped him. He turned around.. “Why did you take the fall for me?”
“I wanted to..it’s my fall too.” was the explanation. “We chose it together a long time ago, didn’t we?..”
I was speechless but also I wondered which time he was referring to..
“But it’s not the 60’s anymore Paul..you can stop defending me..I gave you the freedom to go, you don’t have to walk around me like a lost puppy. Why are you still walking around?”
He looked hurt. “And what stop loving you? Stop wanting to be around you?..I couldn’t if I tried and I tried..You’re my dangerous addiction I’ll beg to go on again.
John..don’t you know I would take your fall for eternity if I could. I’ve already fallen from grace.”
I was speechless. “Paul..I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’ll stay..say you want this too. Don’t let me fall alone..not again.” He pleaded with me. I looked in his blue eyes. They always knew how to pierce through to my soul. I sighed. “You haven’t fallen..you’ll always be my angel.”

He smiled at that then looked up. “Oh! We’re here.”
“And where is here?” I wondered feeling confused about why we came here..
Paul smiled and simply said. “Come here..I want to show you something.”
I followed him to a place where I could see the stream flowing downhill towards a big lake. It was beautiful..

“You know, I come down here sometimes to think. Take my mind off of the stagnant and draining world it can sometimes be..”
He looked out at the lake. “I was inspired to write Mull of Kintyre just by staring out across this beautiful lake. I loved it so much and wanted to always remember how this place made me feel..so peaceful..so quiet. So me.” He gave a half smile.
I turned to him. “Thanks for showing me.”

“Do you remember the first time you tried to teach me how to throw rocks in the ocean? I was so bad at it!” He laughed at himself.
I smirked. “Well, you kept throwing it upwards not sideways. I kept wanting to show you, but you wanted to keep trying. Heh..good times.”
He looked at me with a stone in his hand. “I think I’m ready to listen now..”
I moved closer until my stomach snuggled into him. He took a breath. “Now don’t get too excited.” I teased. “It’s not time for that yet darling.”
He smiled. I helped him throw the stone. “Like this..the stone listens to you. If you think too hard, you won’t get very far. But, if you just let it glide..smooth sailing across the water.”
Paul closed his eyes. “Sounds like us..though I hope we became smoother with age. But you, you’re still the same.”

I looked down. “No I’m not. I’m not the same person I was. The things I’ve done..what I had to do. If I told you, you’ll never want to be around me.”
He held my cheek with his hand. “Now that..will never be true Johnny.”

Paul:
We headed back just in time for a quick session.
I sat down by George, both of us tuning our guitars and trying to figure out what to say..
Finally, he spoke up. “I’m not mad at you.” which for George is close to acceptance as you can get.

Chapter Text

Ringo:
I closed my eyes embracing the sun. I barely noticed my friends sitting and talking on a blanket spread across the lawn. I heard the lingering melody as George strummed on the ukulele..

“Oh ain't she sweet
Well see her walking down that street
Yes I ask you very confidentially
Ain't she sweet?..”

“Uh oh..Ringo’s falling asleep on us.” Paul teased with a following chuckle from John who was sitting behind him with an arm wrapped around his shoulders.
I fumbled my way into an apology. “Sorry..the new meds are making me tired.”
“Should we take this indoors?” George asked worried. “I’m worried about you and the heat love..”
I shook my head. “I’m fine..I actually love sitting here. I’m just exhausted.” I looked at my friends. What a journey it has been..some of it was made out of thorns with every argument we had, every petty incident marking the fall of our bond..
But as I thought about it..there were roses everywhere. When we fell in love..every flowers that George gave me. The return of a love that seemed to be gone forever..
Yep..I lived a very good life with a family full of love, giving and acceptance.
I found myself speaking the words.. “You know, I really like hanging out with you guys.” Paul smiled and hugged me. “Aww..we love you too Ritchie!” I melted touched by the sentiment and closed my eyes embracing this moment.

George continued strumming and humming to a tune that was in creation in his mind..

“I don't want you
But I hate to lose you
You've got me in between
The Devil and the deep blue sea

I forgive you
'Cause I can't forget you
You've got me in between
The Devil and the deep blue sea

I oughta cross you off my list
But when you come knockin' at my door
Fate seems to give my heart a twist
And I come running back for more

I should hate you
But I guess I love you
You've got me in between
The Devil and the deep blue sea…”

I smiled. I love when he covers good songs. “That was really good Georgie! You should put that on your next album.” I praised.
He shrugged. “I don’t know..it’s still in the works. Besides..it’s not like I’ll be around for it. I won’t be around for the next 40 years.” He chuckled with a sad tinge in his voice..and I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic.
Or having realized the gravity of the situation we found ourselves. He sighed. “You guys will do great things, and who knows maybe Paul can cover this song on his many album rotations, but I’m..I mean I’m going to be dead in 6 months. What’s the point?
It’s not like anyone cares about my spiritual messages in my songs or wants to hear my voice anymore..who cares?”
I couldn’t believe that George turned this cynical like his views on the universe turned from a flow positive to not caring if anyone will notice if he died.
“You don’t think I will?” I whisper. George felt guilty. “Ritchie..you know I didn’t mean that. But you know no one wants to hear me preaching to trust in Vishnu and God. They only want the drone of the radio. Where’s the room for me there?”

“Well, I would’ve loved to hear it.” I retorted. “But I guess I’m no one..and we’re all going to be dead, so I guess what is the point?” I exclaimed starting to feel tears on my face. “Excuse me..” I stormed off.
George sighed and followed me inside. He watched me wash the dishes and the room enveloped in an angry silence..he tried to break it by saying.. “I didn’t really mean..”
I set the plate I was cleaning down and turned to him frown visible on my face. “It’s not your cynicism that made me storm off..I know you too well. You’ve been fighting the radio since the day it was created.
No, It’s the way you said it. I get finding your peace with a chaotic situation..lord knows, I’m starting to find mine!
But you..you just shut off. Like you didn’t care who was going to grieve you when you died..off you go!
You did what you set out to do, bugger what anyone felt about it! George, when you go you’re taking me with you..don’t you think I wouldn’t have some sort of feeling too!?
And the people who adore you..they’ll listen no matter what’s out there..how can you ever doubt yourself when..George you are so loved..” I said with a tear in my eye.
“Oh Ritchie..” He walked over and kissed my forehead before holding me tight while I sobbed.
I managed to cry out..“You can have your cynicism..and you can take the world down there with you, but as long as you’re here with me..just be my Georgie..the world can have your appearance and your name..when it’s just us alone in the dark..let it be just us.”

The world froze in time when we were standing in the kitchen.

Paul poked his head in. “Everything going okay here?” He asked calmly checking in. I wiped my tears. “Yes..I think we’re starting to be.” I looked at George.
He cleared his throat. “Yep. Paul..have you seen my guitar?”
I jolted back. “So..you’re actually doing this?” He shrugged. “Won’t be any good, but there’s always room for one more..one last time.” I smiled. “I’m so proud of you Georgie! It’ll be great..you’ll see. If not, you’ll have me playing it 10000 times!” He laughed at that.
“Hopefully, it won’t come to that!” but I can tell he was secretly amused at my expression of my fanning over him.

Chapter Text

George was excited about something. He had those eyes only reserved for someone who received a Christmas present early. And when he was excited he made sure the room was excited too..
“What makes you happy dear? You’re not usually this happy in the morning.” I laughed as I teased him.
“I wanted to show you something..a little thing that I found. Nothing too special..” He pulled out a very large cuckoo clock with very intricate details.
“Oh..that’s beautiful! What are you going to do with it.”
He shrugged. “I dunno. I’ve heard when the bird comes out of this little door..a big change is coming and you’ll know what to do..”
“What change? What should I know?..” I ask both intrigued and confused by George’s normal vagueness.
His eyes crinkle with amusement. “You’ll know..you’ll be able to feel it.” And that was all he could say.

John poked his head in. “Alright love doves..time to get our pictures. You know how our princess gets when the picture doesn’t come out perfect.”
We laughed. “We’re just behind you!” I exclaimed then turned to George. “Shall we?” He pulled me close. “Maybe we should..”

“Alright in 3 2 1..” Paul ran to us once he finished instructing the camera man on what to do.
“John? You coming?..” He noticed he started to rub his leg. “You alright? You don’t have to stand if you don’t want to..” He shook his head and smiled. “You know me..just right as rain. Though tonight, you should go easy with me. I’m still sore.” He teased and I scoffed with a smile. “Flirt. Okay, I think we’re ready now!” He said to the camera man. I didn’t notice the camera flash as George surprised me by giving me a passionate kiss. I closed my eyes at this pleasant surprise. That picture will never see the light of day..
I still have it even after all these days. I only get it out and look at it whenever I feel nostalgic and I miss him so terribly. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing probably Olivia calling to check up on me..
I answered. “Hi Livvy! What’s new?”
“Oh..nothing new. I was just cleaning up the house when I found it..” was the answer.
“Found what?” I asked curiously.
“I found the clock. You know, the clock that George was so excited about all those years ago..” She paused and I dreaded the answer.
I’m not ready to say the final goodbye.. “Ringo..it’s time. I feel it. He finally wants this done..you know what I mean?”
I quietly shook my head. “How do you know for sure?”
“He told me..I know you’re scared, but this is him saying he’s okay with this now. It needs to happen now..”
After a few quiet moment, I sighed. “Okay..I’ll call Paul.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. It’ll be okay Ringo..you’ll see.”
After the call ended I quietly sobbed for what felt like an hour. I really missed him.. “I was supposed to go first.” I cried then breathed in. “Okay..for my last act of love, I can let you go. I’ll do this for you.”

Paul:
For the first time in quite a while, I was alone in my house. Touring slowed down as we decided to take a break for the winter, so for the first time in a while, l found myself just enjoying the day to myself while my family made other commitments outside.
I was making a hot cup of tea whilst humming a tune to one of my songs when I thought I heard someone playing the piano.
The thing was, I have a few pianos scattered around..the main one downstairs in the living room where I host guests. But this seemed to be calling me from upstairs.
I was drawn into the music and I found myself walking upstairs. The music stopped once I reached the door of the attic. “How strange..” I murmured.
I was about to walk away..maybe I can laugh about this with Ringo when I FaceTime him..
I can tell him how I finally cracked listening to ghosts who play piano and he’ll laugh and say “You’ve been doing that since the 90’s. Running to the first sign you could see. Anything to bring him back to you..”

My curiosity won over and I pulled down the attic door revealing the ladder. I went up and nothing..the attic didn’t look any different albeit very dusty.
It’s clear it hasn’t been cleaned out yet. I looked around at the stuff that time forgot. I must have brushed up against something and I heard papers falling to the ground and a box fell over with a loud thud.
I went back and looked inside. I couldn’t believe my eyes..it was the tapes that John sent me.
They were still intact just untouched. All around the tapes and demos were pictures we took with our Polaroid cameras during the Anthology sessions including our group photos. I sighed in memory..

“Okay John..I’m hearing you for the last time. I’ll bring you home..” I sighed then pulled my phone out of my back pocket then dialed a number.
“Yes..I need to talk to Peter. I need his help on something..yes, I want to offer him an opportunity that I know he’ll like. You can?
Okay..when he gets out of his meeting, have him call me. He has my number. I can wait..thanks!”

Chapter Text

Ringo:
I breathed out while Paul was rubbing my hands in comfort. The only time I’ve ever felt this catch in my breath and lump in my throat, was the day I got confirmation of my cancer diagnosis. That and the morning we finally realized George was not still sleeping. After a few minutes of silence, Paul softly said. “You ready?”
I nodded as we both clicked to post. When everyone wakes up, they’ll see the announcement to our final Beatles song. I sighed then leaned into Paul and melted into him.
He rubbed my shoulders. His hurt was mine as he remembered losing John.
“I think we should visit them..” I softly whisper. Paul looked at me as if to ask if I was sure. I continued. “It might be nice.”
“Okay.”

That’s how we found ourselves driving down to the cemetery to visit George since John is somewhere in New York. Unfortunately, you can’t track ashes very well.
I sighed then slowly made my way out of the car, flowers all bundled up in my hands.
I slowly walked to the grave then put the flowers down to the side..
“Soon we’ll be able to tell our story..the way that it was. You’d be proud Georgie..even if you won’t admit it out loud..” I planted a kiss the by the front of him. “I miss you.” I whisper then finally let him go..

As we were walking back, Paul was mentioning how he was cleaning the attic and found our old tapes and demos..and most importantly, the many photos we took.
“It just got me thinking about going back and retelling our story..I think there’s more to tell, don’t you think? And if we got it all out there..it might help ease the pain we still have.”
I tilted my head. “Maybe..” I consider the offer. After a minute I said. “Ok. We can let the dead rest for a bit..but the world doesn’t need to know everything. Our private moments stay private.”
“Okay..that can work, that can really work.” I can hear his mind thinking about it.
I was cautiously skeptical. “What are you thinking?..” I asked him nervously. He linked his arm with mine. “First, let’s finish the song..then we’ll tell the story.”
I nodded. “Do you think the fans will like it?”
“Oh..I don’t know. But guessing them, they (like us) like to look back as well. More sentimental..you know?”
“I know.” I sniffed then looked at the blue sky one last time as if to say goodbye. The wind sighed in return. I must have been looking back for quite some time. I sighed then went back into the car. “Good bye..
Good bye..” The wind sighed its last song as we drove off. Finally the ghosts went home and the air stilled as we drove off to leave it in peace.