Chapter Text
You needed a distraction from the real world. Entertainment, an escape. One night, you decided to look for a virtual assistant. You already knew about things like Clippy and Bonzi Buddy, but they were kind of boring. You scrolled through pages and pages of possible assistants, keeping in mind to check your computer for viruses later on. Just before you give up, something bright and colorful grabs your attention. You click the link to a very sketchy-looking website, and the screen loads a logo in neon-colored bubble-like letters.
‘The Amazing Digital Servants!’
You raise an eyebrow. Sounded like it could either be some cute independent project, or a way for your credit card info to somehow be stolen. You scroll down to a small paragraph and skim through it.
‘Are you bored? Tired? Clinically depressed?’
Well, now you just felt called out.
‘Well, no more! Now with your new Amazing Digital Servants™, C.A.I.N.E and Bubble, you’ll get constant entertainment and merriment! Programmed for service, jokes, birthday wishes, juggling, and much more! Download today!’
It was probably a virus, but you really had nothing better to do. You click the big red button below that paragraph, clenching your jaw as you wait for the download. As you open up the program, a small window pops up, before your whole computer freezes. Fuck, why did you think this was a good idea?!
After a few seconds, you heard glitching voices from your computer’s speakers.
“Bubble– Bubble I think– Is that– What’s happening?!”
Suddenly, your computer screen glitches, before two cartoon characters appear on it. They looked like they were made to teach kids about basic hygiene. A small round soapy bubble, and a humanoid man with a pair of teeth for a head, who you assumed was ‘C.A.I.N.E’., seemed to look in your direction. For a split second, you felt like they were actually looking at you through the screen, but you brushed off your own concerns. They were probably just programmed to look like that.
“Oh my! It’s been quite a long time since I’ve seen someone else! Other than Bubble, of course.” The pair of dentures speaks up, his voice cheerful. “Thank you for downloading us!”
“Uh…” You look at your screen for a textbox to type in, to give any kind of command.
“Oh, you can just talk to us.” Caine says. Bubble sticks his tongue out as he floats happily across your screen.
“W-What?...”
“I promise I have great hearing!” A pair of cartoon ears appear on the sides of his face (jaws?), and he leans closer to the screen, cupping his hand over one of the ears before both of them disappear from his face in a puff of digital smoke. “What’s your name, dear?”
This was probably someone fucking around with you, wasn’t it? A virus, or a troll, a hacker… He shouldn’t be able to talk to you. To understand you. You slowly spoke your name. Caine repeated it to himself, multiple times, placing a hand on his lower jaw, tapping his fingers on his gums.
“A great name, dear!”
“Um… Thank you?”
“My name is Caine, and this little parasite–” He gestures to Bubble, who was trying to lick the icon to your internet browser, “is Bubble. You must be looking for some quality entertainment, and I assure you we will provide!”
You stare at your pc, the words caught in your throat, before clearing your throat and speaking up.
“... You’re an older program, right?”
Caine places a hand on his chest, dramatically gasping. “Excuse me?! I'm still young and spry!"
“No, no, I… I mean, you were built before AI could understand speech, right?”
Caine shrugs. “I’ve been able to hear those who use my programs before. And see them.”
“Y-You can…” You notice your computer’s webcam was on. “... O-Oh.”
“There’s no need to be afraid, my darling! We use your microphone and webcam to give you the best experience!” He leaned on a cane that had suddenly appeared in front of him.
“... Aren’t I kind of terrifying to you?”
“Huh?”
“Like… Cause you’re a computer program. And I’m… Flesh and meat?”
“That doesn’t scare me, it just fascinates me!”
“... C-Cool. So you… You can entertain me?”
“Of course!” Caine floats upon your screen, grabbing Bubble and pulling him away from your internet browser. “We can both do whatever you like!”
“... How about a game?”
“Ah! Yes!” He claps his hands together, popping Bubble in the process. The expression you make causes Caine to look almost defensive.
“Oh, don’t worry, Bubble is alright.” Caine waves one hand dismissively. “Now then, give me a few minutes to set something up!”
After a long time of being suddenly frozen, a window pops up with a colorful looking game. You ended up playing for almost the rest of the night, a small platformer game with a circus setting. You weren’t sure where Caine had gotten it from, but it was fun. And the whole time, Caine floated around your screen, cheering you on, with occasional words of motivation and compliments. By the time you won the game, it was way past your bedtime. 2 in the morning, to be exact.
“Great job, superstar!” Caine cheered, waving a pair of cheerleader pom-poms in the air, causing you to chuckle. For a computer program, he was programmed with a lot of emotion. Err, well, maybe? You knew it probably wasn’t real, but… It felt close enough at the moment. “And now your prize!”
He snaps his fingers, and a gift box appears on your computer screen. You slowly hover your mouse over it, clicking it, revealing a jpeg image of a poorly drawn gold star with the words ‘You’re did it!1!’ Bad grammar aside, it was kind of sweet.
“I would give you a real gold star if I could. But… You can just print it out, I-I g-guess.” He chuckles almost anxiously.
“... Thank you, Caine.”
Caine’s eyes sparkle slightly, his upper jaw shifting like a unibrow, showing slight confusion, then joy at the thankfulness.
“I live to serve! Literally.” He takes off his top hat and holds it to his chest, bowing to you.
You giggle. “Well… I gotta go to sleep.”
“Oh, yeah! I forgot you guys need to do that. Well, I could use some updates, so… I’ll see you in the morning?” He asked, clasping his hands together, giving you puppy-dog eyes.
“After work, sure.” You said.
“You promise?”
“Yeah, yeah, I-I promise, alright?”
Caine nodded aggressively, bouncing on his heels. “You can close my program for now. Maybe I’ll go into sleep mode for a while, too! I do need my beauty sleep~” He chomps down the right side of his jaws. Was he winking? It was kind of hard to tell.
You smirk. “Alright, buddy. See ya later.”
And with that, you shut down his program for the night. He waves to you before disappearing off of the screen, and you’re both alone again.
Was it weird that you had so much fun with him? He was basically a robot. You weren’t even sure if he was actually sentient or not. It was best to just not think about it. Too philosophical, you thought. You nearly fall into your bed, curling up in your pile of fluffy, yet smelly blankets, resting your head on the dirty pillow. You really needed to do the laundry. You stare up at the ceiling for a while. Laundry could wait until tomorrow. Well, it technically already was tomorrow, but it could wait until you woke up later today.
“...”
You swore you heard a noise from your computer but were too tired to investigate. Probably just an update or something. Or you were just hearing things. Time for sleep. As you finally drift off, the sounds of a soft mechanical whirring could be heard from your nightstand, but you ignored it, thinking you had just been up too long.