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Chapter Text

April 18th 1997

The front door creeks open loudly as Clarke walks through into her home. The house is quieter than it usually is on a Friday but she figures her mom is probably out getting groceries. Her index and middle finger reach up to her head, lightly massaging her aching temples that were throbbing from fourth and fifth period double history with Mr Pike. Groaning, she decides to go to the kitchen to grab herself a glass of water.

She lets the tap run for a while before filling the cup with ice cold water, tilting her head back, lips against cold glass, her eyes catch a glimpse of neon yellow stuck to the refrigerator. She wipes her mouth setting the glass aside, the blonde walks over to inspect the note.

She removes the bright neon post-it from the refrigerator that was stuck in place with a cheap magnet they got from their vacation in Germany when Clarke was 14, the last family trip they all had together before Clarke’s father passed away. Pushing away the thoughts, she inspects the black ink on the note, reading ‘I’m covering a shift tonight, won’t be home till 5, feel free to order takeout’

A thought dawns on Clarke as she bits her lip feeling an excited buzz. She rushes over to the living room landline, dialling the ten digits she knew from heart. She pressed the phone to her ear, holding it in place with her shoulder and tapping her foot in anticipation as it rang.

“Who’s calling?” Niylah's voice emerges from the other line.

“Hey it’s me” Clarke replies, biting the inside of her cheek and twisting the cord idly around her index finger and thumb.

“Clarke?” Niylah's voice beams through the phone.

“Hey, so my moms working late and I was wondering if um…” she trails off.

“If you could get into my pants?” Niylah's voice cuts her off, low and husky, causing Clarke's face to flush, and her brain to short circuit.

“No i- well… shes left money for food and I was wondering if you wanted to order pizza and watch a movie” Clarke explains sheepishly.

“Relax Clarke I’m messing with you” Niylah chuckles. “I’ll be over in ten”

The line cuts off with a loud beep and Clarke smiles, putting the phone back on the holder.

Clarke is laying in bed, reading her latest copy of cosmo. Not paying attention, mindlessly flickering through the pages trying to pass the time waiting for Niylah to arrive. When she heard the doorbell ring she shot up, discarding her magazine. Clarke quickly inspected herself in her bedroom mirror, she was wearing blue mid rise jeans with a black long sleeve half button top. Kinda basic but it was too late to change. She undoes the top two buttons of her shirt, showing off her cleavage.

Clarke rushes downstairs, opening the door to see Niylah who is standing in front of her holding her skateboard in her right hand. She’s wearing loose black jeans and a white tank with a blue short sleeve flannel draped over. Her hair was tied back neatly in a scalp plait with a few loose strands peaking out at the front, framing her face nicely. Her headphones placed around her neck, the wires leading to the back pocket of her jeans, where she kept her Walkman. Clarke could hear the faint muffle of ‘pennies’ by The Smashing Pumpkins playing through them.

“Hey” Niylah says bashfully, her eyes flickering between Clarke's eyes and lower. Clarke smiles to herself, pleased that her efforts worked.

Stepping off to the side, Clarke allows Niylah to come in, shutting the door behind her. “So I was thinking we could just hang out and eat food, also i rented out thelma and louise at blockbuster the other day and I thought we could watch it together.”

“Yeah that sounds fun…” a witty grin appears on the girl's face “but I have something that could make it even better” Niylah proceeds to pull a beaten metal tin out her pocket, opening it to show Clarke the two perfectly rolled joints inside.

Clarkes eyes lights up “Okay now that’s an idea”

It had been a few hours since they smoked up and the room was dim, lit by the static screen of the television. Stoned, both the girls are mesmerised by the moving pictures on the tv, neither one of them actually paying attention to the plot. Clarke reaches between them to grab a slice of cheese pizza, she bites down and strings of cheese stretched as she pulls the slice from her mouth.

She puts the bitten slice in the box and turns to face Niylah who hasn’t even noticed Clarke staring. “They were definitely in love” Clarke states, glancing at Thelma and Louise on the tv screen then at Niylah who doesn’t respond, eyes glued to the tv, jaw slack. “Hello, earth to niy” Clarke nudges her.

“Huh?” Niylah snapped out of her trance. Their focus is now on each other. Clarke feels the urge to tease Niylah for the dazed look painted over her features but a part of her found it endearing. Instead, Clarke reaches out her hand, her fingertips grazing Niylah's forearm, feeling firm, lean muscle.

“Have you been working out?” Clarke asks, eyes returning to Niylahs, whose cheeks were flushed and Clarke could practically feel the heat radiating from them.

“Just lifting a little… nothing much” Niylah replies, clearing her throat as Clarke’s fingertips trace patterns on her arms.

“I think it’s hot” Clarke whispers low, noticing the way the girl's cheeks flush in response.

Intoxicated, neither of them are sure who leans in first but it doesn’t matter because they’re kissing now. Niylah is the one to pick up the pace, pushing her lips against Clarke’s assertively, causing the blonde to hum in satisfaction. Niylah pushes the pizza box off the bed, not caring if it landed face first on the carpet, because why would she care when she’s now on top of Clarke, thighs bracketing her hips.

Niylah leans forward, reconnecting her lips to Clarke’s, kissing roughly. Her left forearm pressing against the mattress to stabilise herself, right hand tugging at Clarke’s blonde hair before trailing down to her jaw, then her collarbones before her hand slips beneath the collar of Clarke’s top and oh god. Niylah palms her breast greedily, causing Clarke to moan into their kiss

They’d been doing this for a month now, making out behind closed doors. No one knew and no one could know. it was their secret. The fucking came more recently, specifically two weeks ago when Jasper and Monty threw a party out in the woods. The cops came and Clarke ran off with Niylah. With no one around, they both found themselves making out against a tree. Things only escalated when Niylah’s hand reached below the skirt of Clarke's dress, trailing upwards before sliding under the lace of her underwear. Niylah was usually the top, doing all the work. But she didn’t mind that, she enjoyed making Clarke feel good, knowing that Clarke was getting off because of her.

Niylah moved her kisses to Clarke’s neck, breath low and heavy against Clarke’s ear. “Can I go down on you?” Niylah asks softly, her fingers now tracing patterns below Clarke’s collarbone.

A wave of nervousness and excitement hits Clarke, this was all new to both of them, Niylah hadn’t gone down on Clarke before. The thought of the girls firm tongue tracing patterns on her clit caused a needy whine to slip from Clarke.

Niylah lifts her head away from Clarke’s neck to properly look at her, pupils so dilated Niylah could barely make out the rich blue of her iris, and her lips were red and swollen from their kisses. “Is that a yes?” Niylah asks in response to Clarke’s whine.

And when Clarke takes Niylah's hair in a fist, pushing down, that’s all the confirmation she needs.

Niyah pressed soft, wet kisses on Clarke’s lower abdomen as her hands desperately fumble against the metallic button of Clarke’s jeans.

Clarke lifted her hips to allow Niylah to peel down her pants and underwear, discarding them on the floor. Clarke was fully nude from the waist down and Niylah was looking up at the girl, eyes full of lust as she slowly dipped her tongue into the slick warmth of Clarke’s cunt.

Clarke tips her head into the plush pillows beneath her, arching and gasping at the contact as she grips tightly at Niylah's scalp, pulling her braid loose.

April 19th 1997

Clarke started to stir, feeling warm flesh against her own. The weed had worn off and as she woke, she started to become aware of her physical state, she was fully nude, sprawled across Niylah who was also stripped of her clothes.

Her sheets were bunched up on the end of the bed, leaving her uncovered, allowing the soft breeze from the open window to gently graze her bare skin.

Clarke places tender kisses along Niylah's jaw and neck, causing her to rouse.

“What time is it?” Niylah asks groggily. As Clarke sucks and nips at her nape.

“I don’t know” Clarke hums against Niylah’s skin “I don’t care either… Do you?” Clarke asks as she rolls her hips against Niylah’s side, stifling out a moan.

“Fuck- No I don’t care” Niylah murmurs in response as Clarke sets herself on her waist. Niylah grabs at Clarke’s hips greedily, guiding her as she grinds against her body.

Clarke is picking up the pace. Small moans were spilling out of her lips like little electric shocks with each rock of her hips. Niylah watched as Clarke’s breasts bob as she rocked herself onto the girl. Her expression was lustful as she watched Clarke come undone like this, savouring every noise Clarke made like it was music to her ears.

But then out of nowhere, Niylah’s smile faltered. “Clarke.” she says, her hands leaving Clarke’s body like she had touched molten lava, Clarke groans in protest.

“Why’d you stop” Clarke whines, her thighs clamped down on Niylah’s waist, searching for friction. But Niylah wasn’t paying attention to Clarke, her face blue and eyes focused on the doorway.

Only then did Clarke turn around to see her mother frozen in place in the doorway. her expression adorned in what was undoubtedly disgust and disbelief.

Like a two same sided magnets repelling, Clarke jolts herself away from Niylah, grabbing her bedsheet to cover herself. “Mom, it’s not- I’m not.” Clarke panics trying to explain herself before Abby slams the door shut, her footsteps disappearing into the distance.

Niylah shoots out of bed, rummaging to find her clothes off the floor, trembling as she dresses herself, she’s clearly shaken by the whole event.

But Clarke stays in place on the edge of the bed. staring at the wall as her heart races, ringing in her ears, she feels like throwing up. Niylah sets herself by Clarke’s side, now fully dressed and holding out Clarke’s clothes to her.

“You should probably change,” Nylah says tentatively.

Clarke takes the clothing from Niylah without uttering a word. She lifts the shirt over her head, feeling a cold tear run down her cheek. Niylah’s thumb carefully wipes it away and Clarke desperately wants to let herself melt into the soothing touch

Niylah opens her mouth speak “Clarke, do you want to tal-“

“No,” Clarke cuts her off coldly.

“Is there anything I can do?” Niylah asks sympathetically.

“Just fucking go” Clarke lashes out, her voice trembling as tears fall.

Niylah feels conflicted, not wanting to leave Clarke in such a state. “Clarke i-“

“Just fucking get out!” Clarke cries, cheeks flushed and her nails clawing into the mattress.

Respecting Clarke’s wishes, Niylah wordlessly climbs out of Clarke’s bedroom window, not wanting to use the front door in case Clarke’s mom was there.

It had been hours since Niylah left, the sun was coming down. Clarke had spent the whole day in bed, hair stuck to her face with dry tears, curled into a ball hoping she could bury the overwhelming feeling of self disgust that lurked deep in her gut, she couldn’t.

She hadn’t dared leave her room, not wanting to face her mother. Earlier, Clarke heard Abby faintly talking on the phone downstairs, quiet and indistinct mumbling.

Footsteps were now edging towards her room, Clarke was bracing herself for confrontation, her mothers shame and disappointment radiating from the other side of the door as she knocked, before stepping in.

Her mom quietly sits herself on the end of her bed, facing the wall adjacent to Clarke. “We should talk about what happened this morning.” She says, not being able to look at Clarke.

“I’m so sorry” the words pathetically slip out of Clarke’s mouth, dry and raspy.

Abby takes a deep breath through her nose as tears well in the corner of her eyes “Clarke I’ll always love you, and nothing will change that.” She pauses briefly “but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I hadn’t given you the opportunity to live a normal life.”

Clarkes brows furrow in confusion as she sits up against her headboard. 

“ I’m signing you up for a five month program in Arizona” Abby announces, cutting clarke off

“Please don’t make me do this” Clarke feels fresh tears roll down her flushed face as panic arises within her. “Please I’ll do anything, I won’t talk to Niylah anymore, please just don’t make me do this.” Clarke begs.

“Clarke, this is non-negotiable.” Her mother states, trying to remain calm herself. “I’m doing this because I love you”

Clarke scoffs, cheeks flushed and lower lip quivering. “Doing this for me?” She says bitterly “what about school? Finals?” Clarke pleas. “Five months, fuck, I’ll be 18 by then. What about prom, college?”

Abby clenches her jaw, swallowing down a tight knot in her throat. “Clarke this is happening” Abby calmly demands before getting up and walking out.

Chapter Text

April 24th 1997

Clarke had been driving in the car with her mom for two hours with 5 more excruciating hours to go until they arrive at the camp. Neither of them spoke to each over the whole ride, Abby occasionally glancing at her daughter with a concerned expression. 

Clarke was using the Walkman Niylah had accidentally left at her house, figuring she might as well take it with her, it’s not like Niylah would dare come over to the Griffin’s home to retrieve it.

She was listening to the mixtape Niylah had left in there which was mostly alternative rock music, not something Clarke would listen to herself but she grew to appreciate it. ‘All Apologies’ by Nirvana was playing and Clarke couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at the irony of the line ‘everyone is gay’. The first time she’s cracked a genuine smile in days. 

And her mom must’ve noticed too because a small smile tugs the corner of her lips, “what are you laughing at?” She asks, tapping the wheel as she focuses on the road ahead.

“Oh just um- the song I’m listening to” Clarke clears her throat as she faces the window, looking off at the vast plane of dried grass as she rests her temple against the clear glass of the car window.

They go back to silence for a moment before her mother speaks up. “I know you resent me at the moment but I’m doing this for your own good and I hope one day you’ll understand.”

Clarke hums in response, keeping her lips tightly shut. 

As they arrive at the camp, Clarke spots a big sign reading ‘friends of faith’ and she has to resist the urge to roll her eyes, her family had never been religious, sure Clarke was Catholic but she wasn’t a practicing Christian. She remembers the conversation she had with her mother a couple days after the event with Niylah, her mom suggested maybe that was their problem, she wasn’t strict enough, that they should have gone to church more, should have raised her more traditionally.

They park up near the main building, surrounded by evergreen trees. Clarke stretches as she stands up before helping her mom grab her things from the trunk. 

A girl approaches them, dark, golden skin and big brown doe-eyes. hair in long locks that were decorated with silver accessories. She was wearing a white flowy dress that reached just above her knees and a pair of scuffed black Dr Martens.

“Let me help you with that” her voice is kind and gentle, taking Clarke's bag from her hand, walking Clarke and Abby to the main building. “You must be Clarke right? I’m Costia.”

Inside the building was a circle of wooden stools. Walls that were full with framed photos of previous campers, various art pieces that were primarily Jesus related, as well as an overwhelming amount of bible quotes. The one that caught Clarke’s attention was the quote on the wall facing her. Leviticus 18:22 ‘man shall not lay with man as with woman, it is an abomination’. Clarke felt a wave of guilt and self disgust as she read it, feeling like the poster itself was daunting her.

“This is where we have intervention, bible study, group and regular therapy” Costia’s words snap Clarke out of her thoughts “speaking of intervention, Rachael should be available to talk with you soon, her office is just there.” Costia explains, pointing at a door.

Clarke taps her feet idly, nervously biting her nails as she waits.

The wooden door creaks open and a middle aged woman is stood, wearing khaki shorts and a white t-shirt that had ‘friends of faith’ printed on the front. 

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting, I was held up on a phone call” she ushers Clarke and her mother  into her office, closing the door behind her “You must be Mrs Griffin. I’m Rachael Kerry, camp leader. Thank you for coming to us” The woman outstretches her hand, shaking Abby’s firmly. 

“Abby’s fine” she responds “one of your campers, Costia has been more then helpful.” 

“Costia is one of our example campers, she’s heading on the right path to a normal life” Racheal says as she sits at her desk, pulling out a file. “Take a seat please.” The woman gestures to the two chairs opposite her desk.

After clarke takes a seat, Rachael leans forward, crossing her arms onto the desk and staring at Clarke directly. “Clarke, do you know why you’re here?” Rachel simply asks.  And the question annoys Clarke because of course she knows why she’s here.

Clarke crosses her arms, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “Because I’ve sinned” Clarke states blankly, narrowing her eyes. Abby nudges her side, silently scolding Clarke’s rude manner.

“That’s right Clarke. you have sinned, but that sin doesn’t define you.” The woman explains “we’ve all sinned. I’ve sinned before, god doesn’t hate me for that and he doesn’t hate you either.” Rachael adds “Clarke you’re here to recognise your sin and overcome it, you’re not here as a punishment” she pauses before adding. “We’re here to help you Clarke”

Clarke sat in silence, processing the older woman’s words and silently nodding.

“As you probably know Clarke this is a five month program however, that time can be cut short if you show real improvement.” Racheal pauses before asking “Any questions?” Her gaze flickering between Clarke and her mother.

“What are the sleeping arrangements?” Clarke asks.

“Good question. Our campers sleep in cabins with one other roommate, yours is Costia.”  

Abby raises a question “how can we be sure they won’t do anything?”

“I understand your concerns, Miss Griffin," Rachael acknowledged “but we have random check ups throughout the night, and if they are caught doing anything remotely suspicious, they will both have to room by themselves as punishment.” The leader assured “we allow trusted campers to sleep in the same room because we want to teach them the value of pure female friendships, and vice versa for the boys.”

Abby nods in response before Racheal speaks up again “Clarke, you can make your way out while your mother and I have a one to one. Costia should be waiting outside, she’ll give you a tour of our camp.”

Clarke gets up from her seat, feeling Racheals eyes follow her as she leaves the office. She spots Costia sitting on one of the stools, writing in what appears to be a diary. 

Clarke approaches and Costia glances up at the sound of footsteps closing her book and standing up.

“Walk with me.” Costia politely motions Clarke by her side Clarke. They both head out the building, walking down a gravel path that was shaded by tall trees.

They approach a fire pit that was closed in with long wooden logs that were most likely used as seats. “If our behaviour is adequate. They let us have a camp fire when it gets dark. You're in luck because we’re having one tonight.”

Costia then leads them to a quad of cabins that weren’t far from the fire pit. 

“This is the girls camp, ladies toilets and showers are just over there.” Costia points towards a building at the end of the row of cabins. “The boys camp is on the other side from the fire pit.” Costia explains as she unlocks the door of one of the cabins, walking though.

Clarke entered behind her. Inside there were two made beds, a nightstand between them and wooden dressers opposite each bed. One side of the area was decorated in posters, polaroid selfies with friends, poetry and bible quotes taped to the timber walls. Clarke also spots an ‘Among my swan’ Mazzy Star poster, taped to the wall above Costias headboard . 

“You like Mazzy Star?” Clarke walks up to the poster, arms crossed. She realises it’s probably the first time she’s actually spoken to Costia. “What’s your favourite song?” 

Costia glances to Clarke, a beam in her eyes. “Probably ‘Disappear’, but  ‘Cry, Cry’ is a close second.” 

Costia heads to the cabin door, holding it open for Clarke. “We’re not allowed in rooms outside designated hours, I was only given the keys for this tour.” Costia explains as she locks the door behind them both.

Walking away from the complex Clarke raises a question, “what are the designated hours?” 

“Rooms open at 7pm, but curfew is 9pm and you have to be out of rooms by 8pm,” Costia explains and Clarke is already dreading the next five months. “The doors to the lodges are locked outside those hours. Obviously those rules are lifted if you’re ill or something.” 

“Where is everyone else by the way?” Clarke questions.

“There in the lunch hall since it’s leisure time. It’s also where we have class… and lunch obviously.” Clarke opens her mouth to ask another question but Costia cuts her off before she can speak, “leisure times basically just a free hour during the day. You can use that hour however you like, most of us hang out in the cafeteria because the air con actually works there.”

It wasn’t long before they reached a large building. Costia opened the door for Clarke and Clarke was greeted with loud chattering from various groups of people.

Clarke looked around the room, rows of tables where groups were sat, conversing with each other. At the end of the room there was a counter where Clarke assumed people got their lunch when the room was used for that purpose.

“Clarke!” A voice called out, a tanned girl with curly brown hair that was tied loosely in a braid rushed over to her. 

“Anna?” Clarke exclaims, just as surprised as the girl in front of her. Clarke knew her from back home, they both attended Arkadia high but rarely spoke since Clarke was a senior and Anna was a sophomore, however Clarke knew Octavia, Anna’s best friend who was Bellamy's younger sister.

“What are you doing here?” Anna asks without thinking. “Sorry that was a dumb question” Anna tries to change the subject “how’s Octavia?”

“Don’t you know? She’s in Seattle with her dad. Has been for a while.” Clarke was surprised that Anna wasn’t aware given how close they were. 

“What? Seattle?” Anna looks dumbfounded by the information given. “Octavia hates her dad- why would she-“ 

“Anna, come back, I need your help!” A voice calls, Clarke spots a pale boy with honey-blonde shoulder length hair, sitting by a table, holding what appeared to be a Nintendo game boy. 

“Look Clarke I gotta go but I’ll see you around” Anna walks away, taking a seat next to her friend.

Clarke stands in the middle of the hall nervously before Costia speaks up. “I see you already know Anna, the guy she’s sat with is Aaron.” Costia then points towards 3 boys who appear to be playing cards “over there, with the slick back hair. That’s Jason” the girl adds. “Next to him, with the buzzed hair, that’s Nathan, and opposite them both is Bryan”  

“What about them?” Clarke asks, motioning to the table off in the distance where two girls were conversing. 

“The red head, that’s Luna” Costia explained, gesturing towards a girl with thick, curly auburn hair.

But Clarke wasn’t paying attention to Luna, too focused on the girl sat across from her. Long, dark hair that was half tied up, smudged black eyeliner around almond eyes.

Costia clears her throat. “And opposite her, that’s lexa”

It had been hours since Clarke had said goodbye to her mom and it really started to sink in that this was going to be her life for the next five months.

It was 8:30pm and the sun had set, leaving a soft golden glow in the dark sky. The campers were all gathered round the burning fire pit. Sounds of laughter and chatter filled the place. Clarke sits herself down on an unoccupied log, tuning out the noise as she watches the fire dance hypnotically.

Clarke senses someone sit down beside her. Turning her head, she’s met with thick, bushy red hair. 

Clarke’s gaze drifted back to the fire, admiring the fierce red and orange flames as they radiated and flickered inside the pit. Clarke waits for the girl next to her to say something, but she doesn’t.

Studying the girl from the side, Clarke observes the girl's features. The soft glow of the fire emits an amber hue over her sharp features.

“Luna, right?” Clarke asks, finally breaking the silence. 

Luna nods slowly before averting her gaze towards Clarke. “I’m guessing you’re Clarke” her voice was thick and raspy.

Luna bites the inside of her cheeks, thinking. “What did you do to wind up here, Clarke?” Luna asks, staring straight into Clarke’s eyes in a way that makes the blonde feel uneasy.

“Being gay, why else would I be here” Clarke states blankly, eyes avoiding Lunas.

“Giving it a label only legitimises your sin” Luna says in a sarcastic voice , causing Clarke to chuckle. “But seriously, did you get caught in the act, or did you come clean?” Luna questioned, tilting her head slightly.

“Got caught.” Clarke mumbled, swallowing down the bile rising in her throat.

Seeing Clarke’s discomfort, Luna decides against prying further. Instead, she places a reassuring hand on Clarke’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

Clarke clenches her jaw tightly, swallowing the aching lump in her throat. Since arriving, not once has anyone acknowledged her feelings. Clarke feels tears threaten in the corner of her eyes. She tilts her head back, wiping her eye with her sleeve. “Don’t be, I’m fine” Clarke says in a weak tone that doesn’t convince Luna at all.

Luna turns back to the fire and they return to their previous silence and Clarke finds it strangely peaceful.

Clarke looks up from across the burning flames of the fire to find green eyes staring at hers. It was the girl Clarke noticed in the cafeteria, Lexa. 

She felt weirdly intimidated underneath the brunette's intense, piercing gaze. Clarke couldn’t look away, feeling strangely drawn into the brunette across from her.

However, Clarke was pulled out of her trance when a figure blocked her view.

“Hey Clarke” Anna greets, glancing between her and Luna before taking a seat next to Clarke. “How are you? How’s everyone doing back home?” Anna asks with a small hint of desperation in her voice and Clarke thinks about how much Anna must be missing her friends and family. 

The week leading up to Clarke going away, she hadn’t told any of her friends she was leaving, too afraid they’d ask why. Clarke found herself spending most of her time with her best friend Wells, who at one point even pointed out how sentimental Clarke was acting.

“Everything’s normal, boring, you haven’t really missed out on much” Clarke responds

“Still, beats being here” Anna states with a shrug “and uh… Octavia, you said she’s in Seattle?” 

It makes sense that Anna only came to Clarke to ask about Octavia. The only times they really spoke to each other was at parties that Octavia would invite Anna to. 

Clarke glances back at Luna but she’s already gone.

“I’m not too sure Anna, Bellamy told me but he didn’t go into too much detail so I just assumed it was personal” Clarke explains 

“Oh… I see” Anna says, face painted in disappointment and Clarke wonders if Octavia has anything to do with why Anna's here.

Clarke was about to ask Anna if she has any idea why Octavia went to live with her dad but she’s interrupted by a piercing whistle.

“CAMPERS, IT'S TIME TO GO TO YOUR ROOMS!” Rachel’s voice beams loudly, causing Clarke and Anna to jolt. 

Anna gets up, joining everyone as they head to camp. Clarke decides to hold back to talk to the camp leader. 

Clarke approaches Racheal nervously. “Sorry, do you know where I’m supposed to be tomorrow?”

“Clarke, you have a meeting with me first thing, we'll sort out a time table among other things.” Rachael Clarifies. 

Clarke nods in response and heads to her cabin.

Upon entering her room, she expects to see Costia but she isn’t. Clarke figures she’s probably gone to the bathrooms.

Clarke begins unpacking her things. Starting with her clothes, folding them neatly into drawers, she then grabs her school textbooks, stacking them at the foot of her bed

She picks up Niylah's Walkman from her bag, noticing the tape wasn’t inside. Clarke rummages through the bag, only to notice her magazines were gone too. 

“Fucking great” Clarke huffed, realising they must have went through her belongings. She kicks her bag over in frustration causing a tattered, brown book with frayed edges to slide out, Clarke’s sketchbook. 

She picks up her sketchbook, taking it with her as she climbs into the bed. She flicks through it, landing on a random page. A charcoal drawing of her father. Ever since her dad died Clarke had often found herself drawing his face, in fear that some day she’d forget how to.

Tears well in Clarke’s eyes as she thinks of what her dad would think of her now. Would he be disappointed? She wonders if he’s looking down on her right now, an expression full of disappointment and disgust, just like her moms. Tears start to fall against her will, a wet droplet falling onto the paper, bleeding out and blurring the image in front of her. Clarke was sobbing pathetically into the pages until there was nothing but the smudged charcoal that was once her father.

She continued to quietly sob throughout the night, until she eventually drifted to sleep.