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Chapter Text

4 Privett Drive
July 31, 1997

Theo POV

Theodore Nott arrived at Privett Drive the night before his fate was to be bound to a dark and deranged wizard. The weather was mirroring what his soul felt, and the skies were lit up with lightening as the rain pelted down, drenching him in his robes. He could easily do a drying spell or a spell to keep the rain from even getting him wet, but Theo was past the point of caring.  

He was about to let down the one person he had always promised he would never let down. He would do anything to not have to do this, but he couldn’t leave the green-eyed boy who had stolen his heart vulnerable. He already had enough variables betting against him, the last thing he needed was his connection to Theo to cost him his life or the war.  

Heaving out a heavy sigh, Theo made his way up to Number Four Privet Drive. He knew how to sneak up to the golden boy’s bedroom given that he had done so many times since their 5th year at Hogwarts. Theo had snuck in and out countless times during the summer when he could get away from his father or when his father was away on “business”, which he now knew was code for plotting with Lucius to help Voldemort regain power.  

He mounted his broom and silently made it up to the window, where he knew the window would be unlocked for him. Harry hadn’t expected Theo to visit tonight, he had anticipated they would be seeing each other at school. Unfortunately, that would not happen as Theo had a suspicion that Harry wouldn’t be returning to Hogwarts again. Silently, he crept into the bedroom of the only person he had ever loved and pulled his wand out of his robes. He cast a charm to protect them from anyone over hearing anything, then he also cast a deep sleep spell to ensure that Harry wouldn’t wake up. He knew that he didn’t stand a chance in hell of walking away if Harry woke up. Theo walked over and sat down next to Harry’s sleeping form. 

“You really did a number on me, Potter. You slithered your way right under my skin and it’s going to be like tearing out my own fuckin’ heart having to do this. It’s the only option though. Cause of course Theodore Nott, son of a death eater, would fall in love with the fucking Chosen One. Of all the blokes to catch my eye, it just had to be you. Didn’t it?” Theo let out a curse as he rubbed both his eyes with the palms of his hands.  

Letting out a shuddering breath, Theo reached up and ran his hand carefully through Harry’s curls. “I did fall in love with you though, you know. Hook, line, and sinker, baby. Doing this, making you forget us while I will never forget, is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. Please forgive me.” He leaned forward and kissed Harry softly on the lips for the last time.  

Then as Theodore Nott rose to leave, he turned around and whispered, “Oblivate.” Ensuring that Harry Potter would forget the last year and a half that they had spent falling in love.  

"Happy Birthday, baby." Theo Nott whispered into the night as he walked away from 4 Privett Drive for the last time. 

Chapter Text

Nott Manor

November 2nd, 1998
6 months post war

Theo POV

Theo was wary as he apparated into the doorway of Nott Manor. He’d been acquitted of all charges at his trial thanks to the testaments of his classmates, professors, and other adults present. Hell, even the fucking minister himself had stood up and testified that he was a child solider in a dark war and didn’t belong in bloody Azkaban. Theo rubbed his hand over where the dark mark was on his opposite arm, he could still feel the searing white hot pain that he had felt when Voldemort had forced it into his skin. After all, Theo hadn’t wanted the bloody mark. Oh no, but Cankterous Jr. Nott had told Voldemort that he gave his permission for the dark lord to place the dark mark upon his 17-year-old son. Something that Theo would never forgive his abusive bastard of a father for.  

He shuddered just thinking about how differently his afternoon could have turned out. He’d spent only a few months in the place, and already he could tell how drained he was. He’d done his best to disassociate during his time there, but even he could feel the walls of his mind crumbling as his memories of the prisoner tried to take place. It was so cold, bleak, and the literal definition of hell on Earth. Theo had even submitted his own memories for the trial to prove that the dark mark was forced upon him.  

He’d been freed shortly after the decision of the trial, but his father was still on the run and Theo knew it was only a matter of time until the devil himself showed up at his door. He probably wouldn’t survive the encounter. What he hadn’t anticipated was that Lucius fucking Malfoy would be with him. Double fuck.   

As soon as Theo opened the door to the manor, he was roughly grabbed by the collar of his robes and pulled inside the dark and dreary place he was supposed to call home. Fear and panic instantly gripped him as he noticed the hands of his best friend's sadistic father.  

“It appears your traitorous son has returned early, Nott,” Lucius sneered as he threw Theo roughly into the wall, causing him to lose his balance as he crushed into the black hutch situated there.  

Walking towards him, Lucius rapidly kicked Theo in the stomach four times before he fell back next to the elder Nott. His father wasted no time before he struck him with a cruciatus curse and while Theo wailed and withered on the floor, Lucius struck him with several slicing hexes. He felt cuts on his face, chest, and abdomen begin to pour blood on the pristine tiled floor. The cruciatus curse was ended but then begun more kicking from both older wizards. Theo was struck several times in the chest and ribs with their steel toed boots.  

“Please...stop,” he rasped out, doing his best to protect his face and head from the consistent blows as they both ignored him. However, the kicking paused briefly as a wand was pointed at him, right between his eyes.  

“Avada—” Before the spell even finished, Theo used all his strength he had left to apparate and prayed he made to his destination in one piece.  

He landed on a doorstep he didn’t know with the number 12 in bold red numbers, but he didn’t care. Theo began to pound roughly, as hard as he could in his weakened state, on the door before him. He heard someone on the other side and then the door opened to reveal a bare-chested, green-eyed savior of the world.  

Harry fucking Potter. Of all the blasted doorsteps I could land on, why did it have to be HIS? Theo thought to himself.  

It wasn’t bad enough the man was haunting his dreams, but now he somehow had landed on his doorstep. He had promised himself that he would stay far away from him even after the battle at Hogwarts. He wouldn’t lift the memory spell, honestly did not know if he even could. Harry deserved a wizard or witch that didn’t have the black soul that Theo had. Not to mention, if the chosen one ever gotten wind of what Theo had done, he would probably avada Theo himself as well as never forgive him. This was honestly such a shit ending to a day. Ending up here in front of a man he still loved and the last on he had been intimate with.  

Theo was vaguely aware of pain in his right arm, but honestly his whole fucking body hurt. So, what was one more thing? 

“Theo?” Harry asked in that confused, but caring voice of his. It brought tears to Theo’s eyes as he couldn’t remember the last time that he had heard Harry say his name. 

Theo held in a sharp intake of air as his ex-boyfriend moved closer in order to wrap his arm around Theo’s waist and hold him up.  

“Potter, I’d let you cop a feel. All you’ve got to do is ask,” Theo retorted and leaned into Harry’s bare chest before passing out.  

Harry POV:

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Harry’s new mantra repeated through his head as he half carried, half dragged an extremely battered version of Theo into his house.  

He pulled him into the family room and laid him down on the couch. Then he stood up and looked down at the one person he had had a crush on for to last two years but knew he never stood a chance with.  

What a fucking mess, he thought to himself as he ran a hand roughly through his untamed brown curls. He heard the floo come to life but didn’t have time to prepare what he was going to say to whoever it was. He let out a breath of relief when he saw Hermione come around the corner.  

“Evening Har— oh my god Theo!” She exclaimed as she rushed to the couch and knelt beside the pale and limp feature of the ex-death eater.   

Harry glanced over at his best friend with a questioning look, she wasn’t looking at Theo like a lover, but she was definitely looking at him the way she looked at Harry. The way a best friend would, but that was impossible because as far as Harry knew – Hermione did not know Theo. 

“Hermione Granger. Is there something you need to tell me?” He quirked an eyebrow at her when she glanced over her shoulder at him. She rolled her eyes at him in response and then stood up slowly, brushing a hand down her robes.  

“No time to talk, Harry. Follow me. We need to send a floo call to Malfoy, we need Pansy.” she announced before walking around the corner towards the floo.  

“What the f – Hermione get back here.” Harry rushed out of the room after her. 

Malfoy Manor

Draco POV

Draco was sitting in the drawing room with Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson when his floo made the noise indicating he had an incoming call.  

“What in the fuck?” he muttered to himself as he carried himself to the floo. He nearly pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t stuck in some fucked up dream when he saw Hermione Granger’s face staring back at him. “Granger?” he asked in a questioning tone. 

“No, it’s the tooth fairy.” 

Draco let out an exasperated sigh. “If you only knew the horrors that wizards and witches tell their little ones about the tooth fairy. What do you want? I honestly was not expecting to hear from you for a hell of a long time and was looking forward to the break from the golden boy.”  

“I can’t tell you this way. Get Pansy and come through the floo to 12 Grimmauld Place. Hurry. Tell Pansy that our secret is about to be out and that the one person we were doing it for is laying halfway to death on Harry’s sitting room couch.” Hermione said in a rush.  

“Granger, make sure and call Longbottom so that we have fresh ingredients.” Pansy rushed out before Hermione disconnected the call.  

“Well, what in the actual fuck was that?” Draco muttered to himself as he started at Pansy touching him lightly on the shoulder with a soft look in her eyes. Blaise came around the corner while pulling on his green jumper.  

“Draco, it’s Theo. That’s who is hurt. We must go, I’ll try and explain some later.” Pansy stated before she rushed past Draco and into the floo, leaving behind a confused Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini. 

“What a cluster fuck,” Draco muttered to himself as he and Blaise both followed Pansy through the bright roaring green flames to 12 Grimmauld Place.  

Chapter Text

12 Grimmauld Place
November 2nd, 1998

Hermione POV:

Hermione paced in front of the fireplace as she waited for Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy, and Neville Longbottom to come through the floo. She was about to turn Harry’s world upside down and she wasn’t sure he would ever forgive her for it. The floo roared, turned a bright green, and then Pansy gracefully came through – dressed to the nines as always. Her heels clicked on the wooden floor as she walked up to Hermione and wrapped her in a warm embraced.

“Have we stepped into an alternate reality or finally gone bloody mad?” Blaise asked from where he, Draco, and Harry all watched the two witches with their mouths hanging open.

Hermione stepped away from Pansy and rolled her eyes in the direction of the three men who were gaping at them.

“Pans, I think it’s time. There’s too much going on. Neville is on his way with fresh herbs, but T is in really bad shape. You obviously will know better than me given your studies but I think we may need to put him under a heavy spell to let his body heal with the potions and salves you can make with the ingredients Neville is bringing.”

“Would someone like to please explain what in the ever bloody fucking hell is going on?” Harry growled from the corner of the room.

Hermione heaved out a sigh and knew this conversation would determine whether or not her friendship with Harry could actually withstand the worst sort of betrayal. She motioned for Harry and the two  Slytherins to take a seat. She glanced  over at Pansy, who squeezed her hand in support before settling herself between Draco and Blaise.

Hermione turned to the face the group of them, wringing her hands together as she began to pace again.

“Okay. Before I start, Harry just know that you are one my best friends. I love you and I’m so bloody sorry. Try and remember everything we’ve been through as I tell you this. Okay, so back at the start in 5th year I became friends with Theo. We would study after hours in the library and discuss things. He helped me with a lot of what had to be done and my research, hell he helped me with learning so many things would later on help us survive while we were on the run. Anyways, Theo and I kept our friendship secret because we didn’t want the drama. Pansy found us in the library one afternoon and we slowly found out that neither of us were what the other had imagined. Now...Harry remember what we’ve been through, okay? Before Halloween – I had noticed Theo checking Harry out. He thought he was subtle but he really bloody well wasn’t. I convinced him to “bump” into Harry in the corridor on Halloween. From there, well let’s just say that Theo no longer had the time to meet with me and hang out. Which is when Pansy and I became closer.”

“Hermione, what did you drink? Are you daft? I have never in my life hung out with Theodore Nott. Hell we haven’t even had a fucking conversation.”

“Mione, just blurt it out. He isn’t going to believe anything you say about what he can’t remember,” Pansy muttered as she carefully examined her nails. Hermione narrowed her eyes at the Slyternin but also knew she was right. Heaving out a sign, she stopped pacing and faced Harry.

“Theo Nott left Pansy and I very specific instructions should he ever die or come so close to death that we weren’t sure if or when he would wake up. Based on his condition currently, we are there. Harry, you and Theo were involved. Intimately. He loved you dearly, but when his bastard of a father forced him to get the dark mark…Well Theo knew it was coming. He overheard him talking the night before with Lucius. So, Theo snuck into your room at 4 Privett Drive on July 31st of last year, placed a deep sleep spell on you and then he placed a memory spell on you so that you would forget him,” Hermione blurted out at a speed that revealed she probably should not have had that last espresso shot.

“You’ve got to be absolutely fuckin’ kidding me!” Draco roared as he threw his fresh cup of fire whiskey he had been given against the wall. Hermione did her best to hide the reaction, but she flinched.

She couldn't help herself as she rubbed her bicep where she knew she had glamored the bruises shaped like fingerprints were. Not matter what healing spell she used it was never enough to heal the marks he left, she had a feeling he had somehow figured out a wordless spell to use that made it so whenever he touched her that the marks couldn't be healed by magic. So she knew why she flinched and she couldn't control and it wasn't Draco Malfoy's fault, he didn't know. Nobody did. Only she knew the reason why but was not ready to face that music just yet.

Harry stood in front of her speechless, he kept opening and closing his mouth like he couldn’t quite put his finger on what he wanted to say.

“Well. This explains quite a bit,” Blaise muttered to himself just as Draco began muttering about what a dumbass his best friend was. Hermione left the boys to their thoughts as she walked towards the couch in the sitting room where Pansy was fretting over Theo. She’d got him out of his bloody shirt and was busy wiping away the blood on his chest and abdomen so that she could better locate where he was bleeding from and at the same time, she was casting a wandless diagnostic spell.

Hermione knelt down on the floor next to Pansy and used a separate cloth to wipe down the blood that was marring the side of Theo’s face.
“It’s bad, isn’t it?” she asked quietly. Pansy glanced over at her friend and nodded grimly.

“I don’t know what they did to him but we’re lucky he’s even still breathing,” she replied softly.

“Some of the…bruises and marks might be from Azkaban,” Draco commented quietly from the arm of the couch. Hermione hadn’t even heard him walk in their direction. He ran a hand roughly through his blonde locks, “In recent months the human guards had decided they needed a form of entertainment. So when they got tired of raping us they decided to pit us against each other. Theo and I ended up against each other recently, they wouldn’t let us kill each other but wanted us to get the other as close to death as possible. The fucker always was so stubborn so he insisted I win so that I could get out. Now I’m guessing it’s because he knew I would end up here and could help Harry with the death eater situation. I’m going to kick his ass.”

Hermione inhaled sharply at Malfoy’s confession, but as she looked up into his eyes she could see the pleading that begged her to not comment on what he had just revealed to her and Pansy.

Seconds later the floo went off and out walked Neville Longbottom. He was in his muggle clothes that consisted of a fitted red shirt, torn jeans that were covered in dirty, and a pair of work boots.

“You rang?” he asked cheekily as he walked over towards the girls and then his brow furrowed with concern as he saw Theo laying on the couch.

“Seriously. Why can’t the lot of you try and keep out of trouble for more than a few months?” Neville muttered as he opened the sack he had arrived with, “Fuck. Didn’t Nott literally just get out today? I was in the middle of harvesting a time sensitive herb so I didn’t make it today.”

Pansy nodded and then glanced up at Neville and her breath caught in her throat as she met the eyes of the wizard. They had run into each other here and there over the last six months and every single time, Pansy’s reaction was exactly the same which was that she turned into an absolute idiot around the man.

She swallowed thickly. “Yes. He was acquitted of all charges. Draco, Blaise, and I got worried when he didn’t show up a the manor. I am assuming he ran into trouble at Nott Manor when he went to go pick up his things. I’ve run a diagnostic spell and have in mind the potion and the salve I need to make. If you brought everything that Mione asked, then I should be able to throw it all together.”

Pansy whirled around at the sound of a tea cup crashing to the floor, she giggled at the look on Blaise and Harry’s faces.

“Wha? When the fuck did you become a healer?” Blaise blurted out, he was normally more put together but this entire evening had thrown him for a loop.

“For some time now. Secretly of course. I can only imagine what mother and father dearest would say if they could see me now,” Pansy replied stiffly.

Blaise quickly walked over towards the witch and put a friendly hand on her shoulder. “I meant no insult by it, Parkinson. Am I shocked? I’d have to be a bloody idiot to not be shocked but I am also incredibly impressed by you. I know Theo would be too, but knowing how clever that bastard is I am sure he knew.”

During the entire ordeal, Harry had remained silent. He was trying to wrap his head around how he had apparently been involved with the attractive man who laid unconscious on his couch. He heard the ending of Blaise’s comment and then before he could even stop himself a thought came to his mind and he was not sure how he knew.

“Theo knew. He told me right before the end of 5th year that he suspected Pansy was secretly studying to be a healer. I think he had seen some notes she left unattended in the library.” Harry blurted out and then everyone’s eyes were on him. “Wait. How the fuck did I know that? What the hell is happening.” He demanded as he stopped and gazed down at Theo’s still form and then for the 7th time in his life, Harry Potter fainted and crashed to the floor.

Chapter Text

Hogwarts

October 1st, 1995

Theo POV:

Today was the day, he was going to finally do it. Well, okay, he was partially doing it for himself and also because he had been peer pressured into it by both Hermione Granger and Pansy Parkinson. Those two working together was a dangerous, dangerous thing.

The Dark Lord, indeed, should be fucking terrified. Theo thought to himself as he headed towards the grounds.

The general direction he was going was where he believed Harry Potter would be sulking about. He was quite the sulker. Theo wasn’t sure how nobody else picked up on it. The positive and upbeat version of Harry Potter was gone and in its place was a very depressed and sulking chosen one. Theo had a suspicion it had to do with the late Cedric Diggory.

He knew it had to have been traumatic enough watching your friend be murdered by dearest Voldy. However, Theo wasn’t blind—he had seen the way those two looked at each other. Not to mention, Theo knew far too well just how fucking fit Harry Potter was. He may or may not have caught a glimpse of him last year in the prefect’s bathroom. Totally not his fault. He just happened to be at the right place at the right fucking time.

Today was day that Theo was going to ask Harry Potter on a date. A secret date. On Halloween. Pansy and Hermione were absolute geniuses, even though he would never actually admit that to the two girls. They didn’t need to get too egotistical.

Theo turned the corner coming out of the dungeons and collided straight with the one person he was going in search for. Books and a pair of glasses flew as both boys landed on their ass.

“Oh, Salazar. Fuck. I am so sorry, Potter,” Theo choked out as he got up off the ground and held his hand out to a very miffed Harry Potter.

“Shite. This is just not my fuckin’ day,” Harry muttered to himself as he accepted Theo’s hand, wincing as the other boy put pressure on the open wound on his hand.

“What—and I cannot stress this enough—the fuck happened to your bloody hand!?” Theo roared out as he looked down at Harry’s hand which appeared to have a sentence etched into it and was now bleeding steadily.

“Err…it’s nothing. Just a spell gone awry,” Harry replied quickly snatching his hand back from Theo. 

“Potter you must think I’m a daft bloke if you think I’m buying that. Cmon,” Theo replied in a low growl as he gently grabbed Harry’s wrist and led him into the prefect’s lavatory that he had hidden his first aid supplies in. 

He made Harry sit down on the stool next to the sink and got out his supplies. Thankfully he’d recently replenished his salve. He gently took Harry’s hand and put a generous layer of salve on it, wincing a bit as harry flinched from the dull sting that happened when first applied. Then he took the dark green medical wrap he had and wrapped it around the hand. 

“Slytherin colors, really, Nott?” 

“Green looks good on you, Potter,” Theo said cheekily as he looked into Harry’s eyes and winked at him for good measure. 

12 Grimmauld Place
November 2nd, 1998

Harry POV: 

Harry woke with a startled gasp. His heart felt like it was trying to escape his chest.

What the bloody hell was that? He thought to himself. He had a sneaking suspicion that was a real memory and not a dream. 

“Welcome back to the land of the conscious, mate.” Ronald Wesley sneered at him from where he leaned with his back against the stone wall. “You know it’s been an absolutely riveting few hours of secrets I never thought my two supposed best friends were keeping from me.” He gave Harry an icy stare with a look so full of hatred that Harry didn’t quite believe this was the same boy he’d become fast friends with at the age of eleven.

“Ronald, are you honestly going to stand there and BLAME Harry for something he forgot because of a bloody spell!?” Hermione demanded from where she sat on the floor next to the couch that Harry was laying on.

“Well, it seems that I can blame him for whatever the fuck I want. Considering loyalty doesn’t mean jack shit anymore. And let’s not even get started on how my own girlfriend betrayed me by being best friends with a bunch of bloody Slytherins—”

“You’re delusional if you think I’m still your girlfriend after your behavior tonight.” Hermione retorted with her head hell high, but anyone who was paying close attention would have been able to see the way her body and trembled and her voice shook slightly.

“Spoken like a true filthy backstabbing, two faced mudblood,”Ron spat out as he stalked towards Hermione, who automatically rose from her sitting position and stepped behind the couch so that Harry was between the two of them.

“Oi! I think that’s plenty out of you. See yourself out. Now!” Blaise Zabini spoke loudly as he stalked into the sitting area, wand in hand. Ginny and Draco followed closely behind him. Ginny’s mouth was set in a thin line and Draco’s jaw was so tense he would probably crack a took if he wasn’t careful.

“Are you really going to let them boot me like this, Harry? We’ve been friends since we were in year one,” Ron replied hotly look directly at Harry, who sat up on the couch with a wince before he rose and walked up to Ron so that he was toe to toe with him.

“I don’t know how you could possibly think you’d still be welcome here after all the shite you just spewed. You know I took your ridiculously jealousy issues in year four, because I tried to understand where you came from. I even forgave you for how fucking horrible you acted while I grieved Cedric, who was more to me than just a friend for a few weeks, and I watched him die in front of my eyes. Hell, I even fucking forgave you when you literally abandoned Hermione and me. Do you have any idea what it was like watching her go through what you put her through when the only reason we made it as far as we had was because of her? And you just threw her away like she was trash. But if you honestly think I am going to just stand here and let you call her that after everything you’ve put her through—somethings I am aware I don’t know, but I’m not blind Ron.” Harry continued and spoke lowly so only Ron could hear him, “I grew up in an abusive home and if you think I can’t see the signs and the way she bloody flinches around you, then you’re even more of a fucking idiot then I thought. I have been doing my best to not let you two to be alone because I have been terrified that she’d show up with bruises but why do I bet she’s been covering them and for you this whole time? You are dead to me, Weasel. Get the fuck out of my house and I swear to Salazar if I see you again, you’ll get to experience just how powerful the boy who lived really fucking is,” Harry Seethed, his green eyes glowing with power and his magnitude of anger flowed around him.

Ron stepped back and raised his hand back like he was about to punch Harry, but Draco who had impeccable hearing had heard every word that Harry spoke, and he was fuming. However, he didn’t want to make this worse for the brunette witch who had stolen his stupid black heart many, many months ago. So, he grabbed Ronald Wesley by the back of his robe, threw down floo powder and yelled “The Burrow” before he shoved Ron into it.

The room was cloaked in complete silence and just as tension was about to break, there was a loud pounding at the door of 12 Grimmauld Place for the second time that evening.

“What the bloody fucking hell is it now. I swear I’m going to become a hermit and hide next time I win a bloody fucking war,” Harry muttered to himself as he stalked towards his front door.

 He didn’t know who the fuck it could be, but he had it half in his mind to just curse whoever it was and lock himself in his room for the next couple of years. However, when he swung open his door he looked directly into the face of someone that he thought had died over two years ago.

“Harry,” Sirius Black said quietly, as he leaned against Remus Lupin and stared into the eyes of his godson.

Chapter Text

Hermione POV:

12 Grimmauld Place was in complete chaos. Hermione Granger was used to chaos, but she needed a break from chaos. After everything that had happened this evening, she was over stimulated, and everything was too much. The anxiety attack that she’d been staving off for months was at the forefront and she didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to mask and present herself as being “fine”.

Draco and Pansy kept sneaking glances at her, and Hermione was more than aware that Pansy knew about her anxiety. They had become close during fifth and sixth year. The girl had a way of working her way into your soul. Hermione had told Pansy things she had never told a living soul before. She flinched as she heard Harry’s door slam shut with a definitive thud, and she whirled on the two so called adult men who were huddled on the loveseat and whispering to each other.

“What in the bloody fuck did you two expect was going to happen. DO you even realize the incredible damage you’ve done to him by causing such a massive bloody secret from him? Everyone he’s ever loved has either died or abandoned him except for a select few, myself included. His parents died, Dumbledore died, but not before manipulating the hell out of him, Snape died, Sirius died—oh wait no you didn’t. We just thought you did! Do you know how dark of a time it was after your supposed death? Remus sure knows, because he watched with me as Harry’s head went so dark we were worried he would decide to just go to the dark side. So once again, what the fuck is wrong with BOTH of you. How could you? I can’t deal with this right now. Find a place to sleep, we’ll figure this out tomorrow. IF you’re still alive, you know since apparently you can just die and come back whenever you fucking feel like it!” Hermione screamed at the two of them before turning on heel and heading towards the room she had claimed as her own. “Bloody fucking idiots. Unbelievable,” she muttered to herself as she closed the door with a quiet snick.

Then the silence began to creep in, and the weight of the day got to her. She removed the glamour spell she’d had on and winced as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her lip was split and had begun to bleed again. The bruise on the side of her face was turning a lovely shade of purple and yellow, and the fingerprint markings on the side of her neck still looked red and angry. The only bruise that seemed to be fading were the bruises on her bicep and that's because they weren't so fresh.

She sighed and wished she could remember when she became this person who was so weak that she let another person put their hands on her in such a way. Everytime it happened, she said she was going to leave. She was going to stand up for him. Everytime ended the same way though, with Ron sobbing on his knees, his head against her stomach or sometimes it was just Ron holding her forcefully against his chest and muttering how he loved her and why did she have to go and make him so damn angry. Or why did she have to spend so much time with Harry or with his brothers. The war had changed all of them. It had taken him calling her such a hateful name that had finally gotten her to say enough was enough and realized that he no longer cared for her, she had seen such intense hatred in her eyes that she worried if they were alone that he would go to far and do something that he couldn't come back from and something she would never recover from 

Hermione’s lip trembled and her breath began coming in shallow pants as she sank to the middle of the floor. She sat on her butt as she brought her knees to her chest and began to rock herself back and forth. She was used to the small panic attacks, but this one seemed catastrophic. It felt like all the walls were closing down on her and there was a brick the size of a house sitting on her chest. She honestly wanted to die instead of feeling like this.

Draco POV:

Draco Malfoy stood outside the room that Hermione had rushed into. He had left Pansy and Neville to monitor Theo’s condition and had gone to check on the witch who haunted him. He could still hear her screams from that night in the manor. Her screams were always in his head during the day and haunted him through his nightmares every night.

He needed to check on her, because he saw a lot of his broken self when he looked at her and he never wanted anyone to feel the hopelessness he felt daily. As he raised his fist to knock on her bedroom door, he heard a small and gasp and a sob from within the doors. He put his hand on the doorknob and quietly opened the bedroom door. What he saw before him broke his heart all over again.

The confident, kickass golden girl was in the middle of the floor rocking herself back and forth. He could tell from the doorway that she was trembling and in the midst of one of the worst panic attacks he had ever witnessed. He quietly shut the door and engaged the lock, then he removed his dark green cloak and squatted down next to Hermione Granger.

“Granger, you need to breathe. You’re going to make yourself sick and pass out if you don’t,” he said quietly as he gently wrapped the cloak around her shoulders.

It was weighted and many times something weighted had helped him past a panic attack due to how grounded it made him feel. He heard the startled gasp from the witch beside him as he tried to speak softly to her with reassuring that he was there and she was safe. She wrapped herself tighter in his cloak and slowly her hyperventilating and trembling lessened. She took in one shuddering breath after another before whispering thank you to him. Draco knew this was awkward for her and that she needed space, he could feel it in his bones, so he rose to his feet.

“I am always around if you need something. Anything. I am so very sorry for the horrible things you experienced at the hand of those I used to trust, and I am sorry I didn’t stop her.” His voice broke.

“You couldn’t. We were children,” she stated sternly as she glared up at him.

He gave a brief nod and then saw himself out the door. After he closed the door, he came face to face with Pansy Parkinson who simply raised her eyebrow at him.

“Not a word.”

“Why, Draco, it’s almost as if you think I would allow the world to think that you’re actually a caring, loyal, and good man. I would never, ever do such a thing. The world is a much happier place with everyone living in fear of what Death Eater Draco Malfoy will hex them with this week.”

Draco rolled his eyes and shoved past his best friend and found himself in the Family Black library. He sat down on the floor against the wall that faced the door so he could see who came in and out of the library and then he closed his eyes as he waited for sleep to finally overtake him. He knew another nightmare would welcome him, but he lightly hoped that he’d be able to sleep peacefully for the first time in years, possibly ever.

Pansy POV:

Pansy sighed and opened Hermione’s door to a familiar sight. Little did the rest of the world know that Hermione and Pansy had been roommates for quite some time now. Hermione had distanced herself from the golden trio, claiming to need a break from the public. Pansy was now the owner of the Parkinson mansion thanks to her parents being gone. So, Hermione and Pansy were roommates.

They stayed inside and hidden from the public because they both had intense PTSD and couldn’t be out in public. Hermione was not the only one who suffered from panic attacks and crippling anxiety. Not even Draco or Theo had known about it, or the fact that Hermione lived with Pansy. Pansy closed the door with a quiet snick and walked over to Hermione and sat down next to her.

“Draco was here,” Hermione spoke in a monotone. She was occulding to get away from her anxiety. It was an unhealthy habit she had gained after Ron had abandoned them in the search for the horcruxes.

“He was. I think he cares more for you than he lets on. I know something happened in his manor, but he won’t divulge that information. That house of horrors continues to haunt him. I have no idea how he managed to go back to that place.” Pansy shivered just thinking of the state of Malfoy Manor.

“Face your fears or some psychological bullshit about punishing oneself for misdeeds,” Hermione muttered to herself as she leaned against Pansy.

Pansy let out of a snort of laughter. “I don’t think you’re too far off there, Granger. Sounds exactly like something Draco would do.”

“Enough, Pansy. How is our blue-eyed best friend?” Hermione asked quietly. She had been terrified to ask Pansy, unsure if her anxiety could handle any more bad news. But then she remembered she was Hermione fucking Granger and she was used to bad news.

Pansy let out a deep sigh. “It’s bad, as you already knew. It’s a lot worse than I thought it could be. We have to play it day by day, but I have him in a spell induced sleep and going through healing potions and pain potions. His father…I knew that man would one day nearly kill him. I always thought it would be accidental, but Hermione his injuries are calculated. This was not because that man accidentally lost his temper because he’s a fucking horrible person. This was intentional. He went at Theo with the whole intention of killing him. It was not just him either. I highly suspect Lucius Malfoy was with him, but he was kicked by two different sets of steel toed boots, and it looks like he was hit with numerous crucio curses. I honestly do not know how he got away or how the hell he ended up at the doorstep of Harry Potter. Magic always gets what it wants though, and I get the feeling that Theo’s magic sensed that he wanted Harry. He never moved on you know.

“After he did the memory spell?” Hermione asked in confusion.

“He threw himself into efforts to spy on Voldemort. Did whatever he could to help get The Order the information they needed. Of course, nobody but Snape knew, since that was his contact. Theo couldn’t bring himself to be in the same room as Harry. Right after he did the spell, it got really bad. Theo shut down. Occulded constantly, drank more fire whiskey than a wizard his age should, and he hardly slept. He has never been with another person. I know in the muggle world. high school sweethearts are a myth and something that doesn’t last. But in the wizarding world it’s common for magical folk to find each other during their teen years and they stay together and make it work. I think Harry was that for Theo. I have never seen Theo so head over heels for anyone before nor have I ever seen him so terrified of losing someone. So, I don’t know Hermione. I think he’ll stay in a sleep state for as long as possible because at least there he doesn’t have to live without Harry.”

Hermione nodded sadly in agreement with Pansy.

“The happiest I ever saw Harry was when he and Theo were together. Pansy, the betrayal on his face tonight when he realized what had happened and that I knew. I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me. Then with his godfather showing back up from the dead. I thought life would calm down after defeating the greatest evil of the wizarding world but now I feel like chaos and pain is just our normal and I don’t know how I am supposed to just want to live a life like that.”

Pansy looked sadly at her best friend and the two witches hugged, both aware that life was not done with kicking their asses, not by a long shot.

Chapter Text

Hogwarts 

October 31st, 1995  

Harry paced back and forth in the corridor where he had run into Theo Nott only three weeks ago. He rubbed his thumb gently over the faint scar where Theo had gently administered the salve and placed the bandages. He had never been handled with such a level of gentle and care before.

He and Theo had been meeting up several times a week around the castle. Sometimes it was to study, sometimes it was to shoot the shit, and sometimes it was just sit quietly in the presence of each other. Theo understood Harry on a deeper level and didn’t always require Harry to speak, which was such a nice relief. He was always on because he had to be, and Theo allowed him to be idle and to rest and to just be a teenage boy with a crush for a few hours. Instead of the boy who lived with the weight of the world on his shoulders.  

“You trying to run a hole into the ground, Potter?” Theo asked mischievously as he walked towards Harry from the opposite side of the corridor.  

“Fuck, Theo. You scared the hell out of me.”  

“Fuck? Why I thought you’d never ask,” Theo retorted with a wicked grin as he winked at Harry.  

Harry advanced on Theo, backing him into the wall of the dark hallway.

He pressed himself against Theo, running his nose up his neck and then growled into his ear, “Bet you’d like that. Wouldn’t you, Nott? But let’s not confuse who would be doing the fucking.”Harry pressed his now hard cock against Theo’s thigh before stepping back and then stalked off and called back, “Cmon, let’s go find some supper.” He heard Theos sharp intake of breath followed by muttering about what a cock tease The Boy Who Lived is.  

12 Grimmauld Place
November 3rd, 1998

Harry POV: 

Harry woke up with a startled gasp, his heart pounding and his dick so hard it ached. He ran his hand down his body and pressed down on himself.  

“What the fuck is happening” he groaned as he rolled over and sat on the edge of his bed. He looked over towards the alarm clock and it read 3AM. It seemed that even if he was having a dirty dream about a boyfriend he didn’t remember, his body still insisted on a 3AM wake up call.  

Being awake unfortunately meant remembering the absolute cluster fuck that the evening had been. It was bad enough that the one person he’d always trusted the most had betrayed him in the worst way but then to add to it the fact his godfather wasn’t actually dead? The fact Remus was also alive? Harry clenched his teeth, and his hands formed tight fists. He reveled in the bite of his nails digging into his palms.  

He was at his boiling point and was shocked he hadn’t gotten to this point sooner. Between finding out he would have to die, then doing so and coming back and then killing Voldemort—well he had a lot of issues.  

His normal 3AM wake up was waking up screaming or crying and it was always related to the battle at Hogwarts. Hell, he couldn’t even stand to be around certain noises during the day. The last time he’d try to go into a busy muggle city, he had ended up huddled in a dark alley with a panic attack and muttering to himself like a bloody psycho. The more he thought about the ways he’d been lied to, the angrier he got.
How much of the last two years didn’t he remember!? How many memories were tied to that damn Slytherin that he’s lost them to? Harry could feel the pressure continue to burn inside him.

Burning, burning, burning.  

It reminded him of the way that his scar used to burn when Voldemort tried to invade his mind or when he was too close in proximity. That last thought tipped him over and he heard the windows in his bedroom crack from the pressure.  

Fuck!
He needed something, something he shouldn’t need or do but he knew it’s what he was craving. He slid down to the floor against his bed and gripped the ring finger on his left hand with his right hand. The bone was weak from the previous breaks it had endured.

What’s another broken bone in the body of an already broken man. Harry thought to himself as he pushed down and heard the familiar SNAP of the bone breaking. He bit his lip and muffled his cry as the pain engulfed him and then closed his eyes as he focused on the pain and the way it made him feel.   

Draco POV:

Draco sat down next to the bed of his best friend and held his hands together as he lost himself in worst case scenarios. There were many that his mind was running wild with. 

“Damn it, Theo. I told you not to go off by yourself, didn’t I? I told you that you had a bloody target on your back and to stick with us and we’d remain in a group. Stronger in numbers and all that, yeah? But you just had to be a bloody angsty arse and go back to that damn Manor. Do you realize...do you realize you could have fucking died?” Draco muttered, his voice breaking as he finished off his rant.  

Theo hadn’t had an easy life, not that Draco had either, but he almost thought Theo had it worse in a way. Draco at least had his mother, for all her faults she did her best to be on his side. There were many times she’d make up an excuse and get him out of a hexing or a beating from his father. His father had a sore temper and until a certain age, Narcissa took most of that temper for Draco.  

He recalled more than once he’d walked in on her glamouring or covering up marks his father had caused. She never bat an eye, never made a complaint. No, she remained steady during Draco’s entire childhood and teen years. She’d stayed for Draco, rather than seeking help from those she could have gotten it from. Draco felt the guilt of it weighing down on him every day, because these days Narcissa Black Malfoy was a shell of who she used to be and that was all thanks to Lucius Malfoy. Theo hadn’t had anyone at Nott Manor to take the brunt of Cantankerous Nott Jr’s temper.  

Having murdered his wife, the lord of the house instead enjoyed taking it out on his son. Theo had known nothing but abuse and pain from his father and it seemed that hadn’t stopped. Draco couldn’t recall a time he’d felt more helpless than he did right now, except for the night his aunt had tortured Hermione Granger.  

That night haunted Draco when he was awake and when he was sleeping. Her screams would haunt him even after he went to the grave and Draco Malfoy would never forgive himself for not stepping in and stopping his aunt from causing the damage that she did to Hermione. He was a coward, the worst kind of man, for not having the balls to intervene and stop her. Even if it caused him pain, he could have lived with that and would do anything to make it so that Hermione had never gone through everything she did that horrid night in Malfoy Manor. However, he couldn’t change the past no matter how many times he tried so instead he would drown here in his guilt and anger.  

Theo POV:  

Theo turned around in circles, he seemed to be in a room that was covered wall to wall in mirrors. Every time he saw his reflection in a mirror, it was a memory, a nightmare, or a wish. Sometimes he could decipher which was which and others he couldn’t. The last thing he could remember was receiving the beating of a lifetime and then ending up in the arms of Harry Potter. The boy who lived, the hero of the wizarding community, also known as the love of his life.

Now he was here stuck in his own personal making of hell it would seem. He couldn’t quite figure out if he was dead or if he was alive, but he’d fight like hell for it to be the latter. The war was done, kind of, and he’d like to try and win over Harry. Again. He’d done it once; how hard could it be? Right? Right. That’s what he would keep telling himself. Just as he was about to be pulled into yet another mirrored scape hell, he heard Draco’s voice. Draco would have saved him so many times from almost being beat to death. The man was a godsend, and it was breaking Theo’s heart to hear the pain in Draco’s voice.  

C’mon self. Wake the fuck up! 

Chapter Text

Diagon Alley
November 5th, 1998

Hermione POV:

Several days later, Hermione Granger walked down Diagon Alley towards the ministry of magic, she had an important meeting to attend to this afternoon regarding following up with all the trials that had taken place. She already told Harry she would make an excuse up for him so he could remain inside, it was the most he’d spoken to her in days.  

Before she was due at the Ministry she was planning to stop in for a cup of tea and browse for some books, however, as she was purchasing her tea her eye caught two particular headlines on the Daily Prophet. The first was a headline regarding a sighting of 3 of the most feared fugitives right now: Lucius Malfoy, Cantankerous Nott JR, and Fenrir Greyback. Hermione let a shudder run down her spine at the thought of those 3 vile men. The second headline at her seeing red. Fucking Rita Skeeter and her inability to keep her nose out of everyone’s business.

The Golden Girl: Has she switched sides? See more inside for details regarding our golden girl and how she’s cozied up to the Death Eaters, we received the inside scoop from a trusted source!

Hermione froze, surely, he wouldn’t have gone to the one reporter she hated out of all the reporters out there, would he?  

But then Hermione remembered the look of anger and betrayal on his face, her bruises were gone but she could still feel what it felt like when he had hurt her and she knew that Ron never even tried to control his temper or anger so who knows what the fuck he’s done now that she’s not there for him to take it out on her. She angrily grabbed the newspaper and added it to her purchase, then she stormed over to a table in the corner of the shop and sat down with her Tea and paper.  

Taking a deep breath, she briefly skimmed over the front page regarding the sighting of the three death eaters. It wasn’t far from where she was now, and it was said that the aurors were out and that the public’s safety was their number one concern. Hermione scoffed at that, remembering the days when the Ministry hadn’t even believed Harry when he had said that Voldemort was back.  

Taking another deep breath, she opened the paper to the correct page and cringed at the photo they had used of her sitting at Draco’s trial. He looked positively terrible in that cage. Hermione had noticed he had looked better when she saw him at 12 Grimmauld Place, but now she could not help but wonder how much of what she saw was a glamour. After all she glamoured herself daily to hide the mark on her arm, the bags under her eyes and the way her eyes looked sunken in half the time due to the lack of sleep and amount of everything on her shoulders that she dealt with daily.  

We are here with none other than one of three in the golden trio as they are named. Ronald Wesley is looking fit these days; I believe he’s put on some muscle during his time of fighting he who shall not be named and his followers.

When I asked Mr. Wesley how life post war was treating him, he replied with a heavy sigh stating that he has some bad news regarding the brightest witch of her age. With a startling gasp, I begged him to give me the details as the public had a right to know! He proceeded to share that he was forced to break up with Hermione when he discovered the day of the trials that she was defending the children of the death eaters! “Draco Malfoy tormented Hermione during the entire time we went to school! He let the death eaters into Hogwarts!”

Ronald Wesley proceeded to tell me that because of this, he was beginning to believe she was never on the side of light to begin with. “What if she had actually been on their side the whole time!? There were times they were two or three steps ahead of us and now I am beginning to wonder if she was actually feeding them inside information!?”

The paper burst into flames before she could read anything else of the article. Hermione gasped and jumped back, then realized it was her own magic that set it on fire. 

I am going to fucking kill him. She seethed angrily to herself as she grabbed her satchel and walked out of the shop heading towards the Ministry of magic for her meeting the Minister and several of his colleagues.  

Forty-five minutes later, Hermione was seated at a rather large table with the Minister, a few aurors, several department heads, and Ginny who was there for support, were seated around her. 

Hermione looked around at them all and then stated calmly, “Harry couldn’t make it today, I am sure you can imagine he’s exhausted and recovering from saving the Wizarding world and the trials brought up many painful memories that he had to recount.”  

Kingsley Shacklebolt gave a nod at her and then began the meeting calmly.  

“Thank you all for being here today. The trials are now over, the children of death eaters have been released pending they stick to the guidelines, but we still had death eaters on the run.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes, “Not sure it really counts as them simply being let off the hook when they were held IN AZKABAN for six bloody months and the fact that they are being threatened to be sent back if they do anything out of line. We were children, Minister. Children forced into a row. Children who were NOT protected.” Hermione muttered angrily as she smacked a head onto the table.  

“Miss Granger, I am aware of your feelings on the matter. I did my best, you know that. Much of the wizarding community wanted much wors—” The minister broke off mid-sentence as an envelope flew through the open window.  

No, not an envelope. A howler. Hermione paled as she recalled the last time that she’d been in the presence of a howler. 2nd year. From Molly Wesley to Ron.  

The howler stopped directly in front of Hermione, she heard Ginny let out a gasp as it was ripped open and the yelling began. Her eyes went wide as the voice that came out wasn’t that of Molly Wesley, but that of her son Ronald Wesley. Hermione felt her entire body begin to tremble as his voice came out loud, angry, and ugly.  

“HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER, I HOPE YOU’RE PROUD OF YOURSELF. YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE REASON THEY WIN NEXT TIME. LETTING GO THE CHILDREN OF DEATH EATERS. DRACO MALFOY AND THEO NOTT WILL BE THE DOWNFALL. YOU MAY AS WELL HAVE JUST BROUGHT BACK HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED! YOU’RE A TRAITOR, AN ABUSER, YOU’RE FILTHY AND TAINTED. NOW THE REST OF YOU MATCHES THAT UGLY MUDBLOOD MARK ON YOUR ARM. BY THE WAY I KNEW THAT YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING TO BREAK US UP. WHICH IS WHY I HAVE BEEN SHAGGING LAVENDAR BROWN FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS. AT LEAST SHE DOESN’T CRY AFTER I MAKE HER SCREAM MY NAME.”  

The Howler spit loudly at Hermione and then the letter shredded itself right in front of her. The room was as silent as a graveyard. Then the bursts of shouts began, beginning with Ginny yelling at the outrageousness of what was just said, the rest of the table were pale faced and sending her looks of sympathy. Looks of pity were being tossed her way and they didn’t even know half of what Ron had put her through, nobody knew.  

Hermione rose from the table on shaking legs, grabbed her satchel and fled out the door while muttering to Ginny that she didn’t want any company. She needed to get away and she needed to be away fast. She quickly took the floo to a place she hadn’t visited in over a year, she went back to the place she used to call home. She hadn’t stepped a foot in the door since she was there in 1997 and had obliviated her own parents. The minute she stepped out of the fireplace, she fell to her knees, let her bag fall with a loud thunk to the ground, tilted her head back and looked at the ceiling.  

Hermione closed her eyes, whispered a wandless silencing charm, and then Hermione Granger screamed.

She screamed about the childhood she lost, for having to be the adult before she was even a teenager, for the friends they had lost in the war, for the fact her parents would never remember her, she screamed for her innocence that was lost to a monster, and she screamed for the way she had so many permanent marks on her body that she could never get rid of her. She was damaged goods, she was broken, and she was done with it all because she could no longer see the point.

Hermione could no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. It had completely gone pitch black. She lost herself to that feeling of hopelessness she hadn’t felt since the war.  

12 Grimmauld Place

Ginny POV 

Ginny stormed through the floo of 12 Grimmauld Place, she was too angry to go home and see her brother who had just made everyone’s life a million times more difficult. She had already been furious with him because of how he treated Hermione last night and then the horrible article he had been a part of. Then to top it all off he had the gall to send that horrific howler to Hermione in such a public setting!  

By the time Ginny had made it out of the ministry, she was having to dodge reporters left and right because somehow, they all knew about the howler. Ginny had to guess that a certain terrible twat of a reporter had somehow hidden a listening device either in the room they were in or on someone’s person. Then to reveal something so incredibly personal about Hermione!? Ginny had only glimpsed the scar once and that was by per accident, the rest of the time Hermione always kept it glamoured.  

The house was thankfully quiet. She didn’t have it in her to deal with anyone. Harry was probably locked in his room brooding still over the week’s series of events, Malfoy and the other Slytherins were supposedly off searching to make sure there wasn’t another way to heal Theo faster. They were all getting nervous that it had been days and Theo hadn’t shown much improvement or signs of waking anytime soon. Ginny did her best to stay out of their way, due to the fact that one particular Slytherin in particular had an effect on her that she hadn’t been expecting.  

Blaise Zabini was a complete mystery to her. He often joked away in the way she thought Theo probably does, but she could tell it was all a mask. The real Blaise was buried deep down, and he kept that part of him away from most and Ginny Wesley for whatever reason wanted to unmask him.  

However, he made her nervous and set her body on fire at the same time. She had secretly been crushing on him since last year. Maybe it is because he had helped her hide from certain people inside the school more than once and he was the reason Fred was still alive. She and Fred are the only two he knew. Fred was missing an arm, but it was better than not breathing at all.  

Ginny had watched from an alcove as Blaise had sent a slicing hex at Fred’s arm the exact moment the Avada spell cast from a death eater had hit Fred’s arm. Somehow, it had happened all in perfect harmony because Fred’s arm was sliced off just in the knick of time. Blaise had quickly wrapped Fred’s wound to help control the bleeding and then he apparated away. Ginny had immediately run towards Fred, sending her first Avada to the death eater who would dare try and end the life of her older brother.  

Later that night, she once again ran into Blaise as he pushed her out of the way and took the brunt end of a crucio curse headed her way from the wand of Lucius Malfoy himself. Ginny had always been attracted to him, but since that moment she had felt a deeper connection to him, but she kept quiet about it.  

And then the war had been won, and Blaise had been locked away on house arrest for six months. He had been a lucky one to not be sent to Azkaban and now with one of his best friends staying at Harry’s house, she couldn’t seem to turn a corner without running into the wizard. However, the house was quiet and so Ginny headed directly for the kitchen, she needed to do something to keep herself busy. Sometime to keep herself from going and finding her brother and hexing him half to death.  

First, she found the liquor cabinet and she thought there had been more fire whiskey than that was in the cabinet, she simply shrugged and instead grabbed a bottle of her favorite wine. She uncorked it and took a swig right out of the bottle and then went in search of the ingredients she needed to make some cupcakes. Hermione had introduced Ginny to the wonders of stress baking and Ginny was very stressed, so she was going to bake, damn it all.  

Once the ingredients were gathered, she cast a silencing charm that extended between the kitchen, dining room, and living room. That way people would know where to find her if they came through the floo but she didn’t want to disturb Harry. She then grabbed her muggle speaker and laptop that Hermione had given her and showed her how to use. She pressed play on her guilty pleasure song and turned the speaker to max volume and began to dance, sing, and measure out the flour she needed. 

I knew you were trouble when you walked in 

So, shame on me now 

Flew me to places I’d never been (never been) 

‘Til you put me down, oh 

Ginny sung loudly and offkey to her favorite T Swift song and swayed her hips as she continued to pour dry ingredients into her mixing bowl. She grabbed her bowl and headed towards the other part of the kitchen. Her gaze was focused on the bowl as she walked, she heard a snort of laughter, spun around, and screamed.  

Being startled she threw the bowl of flour into the air, then lifted her eyes and gasped as she saw the bowl douse Blaise Zabini in flour and sugar. The bowl smacked him in the temple before falling to the ground. Ginny herself was also covered in flour. The two looked at each other and then Ginny burst out laughing.  

“Shite. I’m so sorry.” She laughed as she shook the flour out of her hair, blushing profusely at the fact that Blaise walked in on her dancing and singing Taylor Swift.  

“I didn’t take you for a Swiftie, tesoro mio.” Blaise chuckled as he used his right arm to yank his flour covered shirt over his head.  

Ginny inhaled sharply as her gaze traveled down his bare chest, biting her lip as she followed the trail of dark hair that stopped at the top of the black slacks that he was sporting, the top button already undone as if he had come in from getting dressed for the day. 

“Eyes are up here. I’m not responsible for what you may see if you continue to eye fuck my cock the way you’re doing,” Blaise growled darkly, adjusting himself in his slacks.  

Ginny let out a gasp as she brought her eyes back up to meet his. She blushed deeply and then lowered her eyes to the floor, trying to calm down her increased heart rate. This was the connection she was talking about. She couldn’t understand why she could not only feel how he lit her body on fire, but it’s like she could also feel the way she made him feel. Physically, sexually, and emotionally.  

“I—I…” Ginny stuttered, backing up and her eyes glancing around the room as she looked for an escape.  

As she shuffled back, she didn’t realize how slick the floor had gotten from the flour, and she began to lose her balance and fall backward. Blaise rushed forward and attempted to keep her from falling, but they both ended up toppling to the ground, at the last moment he turned them, so he took the worst of the fall against his back.  

He let out a grunt of pain as his back hit the ground, Ginny landing on top of him, flush against his chest. She could feel his hardness against her. No, she could feel his very large hardness, and it made her blush. She glanced up at him and noticed the tension in his jaw as well as the way he had a grip against her hips. His hands were so large against her.  

She could do this. She could totally take something she wanted for once. She could be selfish. Ginny moved her body to where she was straddling his hips and then she leaned down and kissed Blaise Zabini softly on the mouth.  

At first the kiss was short and sweet. It was as if he was in a trance and shocked, she would do such a thing. She sat up, still straddling his lap, bringing her fingers up to her mouth and tracing her bottom lip. 

“Oh! I’m s-s-so s-sorry,” she quickly muttered and went to raise up from the ground when he leaned up towards her, gripping her hip with his left hand, and placed his right hand against the back of her neck.  

“Fucking finally,” he groaned and then pulled her to him as his lips met hers again.  

There was nothing soft about this kiss, this kiss was all fire, passion, and both their desires coming together. Ginny felt his tongue run against the seam of her lips, which she parted and let him in. She ran her tongue against his and wound both her hands behind his neck as she began to lazily grind against him. She hadn’t realized she was even doing it, until she felt the deep moan from his chest as he thrust up against her every time she ground down.  

He had resituated her hips to where the last thrust of his cock was directly against her legging covered wet cunt. His cock was grinding against her clit and she began to move her hips at a faster pace, she ripped her mouth away from his and let out a moan, tipping her head back as his lips found her neck and his right hand found her breast. He rubbed his thumb against her stiff nipple and sucked at a spot on her neck at the same time.  

“Oh gods. Yes,” Ginny moaned. She had always been so sensitive when it came to her breasts.  

She felt Blaise grin against her neck and then the front of her tank top was yanked down, freeing her breasts for his access. Blaise nipped playfully against her neck as he tightened his grip of both hands on her hips and ground her down harder against him. At the exact same time his cock hit her clit, Blaise leaned in and sucked her right nipple into his mouth, flicking his tongue over it as he sucked.  

That was what set her into oblivion, Ginny placed her hand over her mouth as she screamed his name, finding her release. Blaise let go of her nipple with a wet pop as he thrust up twice more and then let out a deep groan as he came, muttering, “Fuck. Yes. Such a good fucking girl, tesoro mio.”  

Ginny sat up on his lap, blushing profusely, then she quickly got up, grimacing as she felt how thoroughly soaked she was. 

“I—I. Uh. I have to go,” she squeaked out and then in non-Ginny like behavior, she quickly fled the room and ran up the stairs to Hermione’s room.  

She locked herself in the room and slid her butt down to the floor. What in the fuck just happened. She muttered to herself, banging her head three times in a row against the back of the door.  

In another part of the house, Blaise Zabini laid on the kitchen floor, basking in the afterglow and smiling to himself like the cat that got the canary. The strange connection he hadn’t been able to figure out with Ginny Wesley seemed to thrum stronger in his veins and he was determined to make that red headed witch his. Which was a new feeling to him, as normally all he cared about was getting a witch in his bed for one night but with Ginny he could feel that there was no number of days that would be enough.  

He had, after all, been wanting her for the last year but the need had gotten much worse over the last few months and he wasn’t sure why or he didn’t want to face what it could be. Only time would tell. Blaise stood up and cast a quick cleaning spell over himself and the kitchen and then headed towards his room to take a shower and change. Then he had plans to make and a little witch to woo.  

Chapter Text

12 Grimmauld Place
November 6th, 1998
Harry POV

BANG! BANG! BANG!  Harry woke up with a shout of surprise as someone banged on his bedroom door like it was the end of the world all over again.

“Go away.” He yelled or rather slurred in response and then threw the empty bottle of firewhiskey at the bedroom door for good measure.

“Bloody hell, Potter. Open up your bloody fucking door before I blast it away. We have yet another emergency and it’s urgent considering that Granger is missing, Theo is still in critical condition, my father and fellow deatheaters have been spotted near Diagon Alley, and your goddamn godfather and Lupin won’t fucking leave!” Draco Malfoy yelled through the door and then banged 3 more times on the door for good measure.

“Fucking goddamn shite. Give me a sec. Let my pants find - - er .” Harry muttered to himself, shook his head, “I mean, let me find my pants.” he yelled at back and heard a snort of laughter from the other side. He dug around through his room and finally found a pair of dark green and grey sweatpants and threw them on, he sauntered over to the bedroom door and swung it open, sans shirt. Draco Malfoy stood on the other side of the hallway, leaned against with the wall opposite the door and had his arms crossed. He looked over Harry and then raised an eyebrow.

“I wasn’t aware you’d taken to wearing Theo’s clothes, Potter.” He quipped with a smirk on his face.

“Malfoy, it’s too fucking early for me to decipher whatever you’re trying to subtly point out.” Harry muttered in an irritated tone, speaking slowly to try and keep from slurring. Draco let out a scoff and rolled his eyes at the dishelved wizard in front of him.

“No, you’re just smashed out of your bloody mind.” Draco snapped back in a harsh tone. Harry narrowed his eyes at the blonde dickhead in front of him.

“So sorry that how I’m handling this isn’t up to your standards, Malfoy.” Harry seethed in response. Then he took 2 steps out of his bedroom door, ran directly into the opposite wall, and ended up sprawled on the floor.

“Fuck.” Harry groaned as he brought himself up to sit against the wall with his legs stretched out.

“Wait.” Harry paused closing his eyes and then opening them to stare directly into Draco’s icy grey ones, “Did you say that Mione is missing!? And I’m just hearing about this now?!”

“You’re just – Potter I swear if I hadn’t just gotten out of prison I’d hex you. You’ve been locked up in your room for DAYS. Granger has some bloody meeting apparently at the Ministry. Ginny just stormed into my bedroom at Malfoy Manor to demand I find Granger, because apparently and I quote “Sodding Potter can’t be bothered enough to look for my best friend because he got his feelings hurt and well! Hermione got her feelings way more hurt by what my prat of a brother said to her.” which by the way, I would LOVE to know what the fuck the Weasel said, but your ex girlfriend simply stormed out of my bedroom. So yes, Potter, you’re just now bloody hearing about it.” Draco snapped out, Harry noticed the man seemed more on edge than usual and he wasn’t sure what that was about.

“So sorry for my breakdown over missing parts of my life for the last 2 years is such a fucking inconvience, Malfoy. I’ll work on that right away. Wouldn’t want you to tell your father or something.” Harry replied with an eyeroll.

Draco narrowed his eyes at Harry who grimaced, “Okay. That was low even for me. Apparently my asshole of an ex best friend has rubbed off on me. Lead the way to where everyone has decided to gather then.” he motioned towards the hallway, rising up off the floor.

12 Grimmauld Place
Pansy POV

The pain was back again and that included the memory of why she had that pain , although she felt like something else was amiss. This pain was different and a thought of horror went through her mind. Surely the protective spell she had used had worked, right? She knew her parents were evil but this had taken things to a whole new level. The moment they had started acting strange she had placed a protective spell on the baby growing inside of her. She had already lost the man she loved to protect them all, she wasn’t about to lose his baby too. Pansy Parkinson doubled over in pain as she sat on the bedside of her best friend who was still in a medically induced coma.

“Theodore Nott when you wake up, I am going to kick your ass, hug you, and then you’re going to help me figure out how to undo the damage that damn cursed blade did to me. Then you’re going to hunt down your excuse of a father and you are going to kill him for me, because..” Pansy’s voice hitched on a sob , “He stabbed me with a cursed blade and now I am miscarrying my six month old baby. Theo, I haven’t felt her kick in days. How did I not notice?”

Pansy continued to breathe through the pain, her lower back in complete agony as well as the rest of her body. As a healer, she knew what was happening. She was losing the baby and there was no way to stop it , so she was essentially in labor and she was going to be forced to give birth to her dead daughter. It’d been days since she had last felt her kick, possibly longer than that.

When Cantankerous Nott Jr had showed up during dinner at the manor and the rest of the family left the room, she knew there was a chance she wouldn’t make it out alive. She did her best to fight him off, but he was bigger, stronger, and faster. He had ended up pushing her on the floor, straddled her, and sank the blade deep within her belly. That had been the day the trials concluded. He had vanished seconds after doing it , Pansy had run to her room and after healing herself she had escaped to Malfoy Manor.

Nobody but Theo knew about the pregnancy and who’s child it was, so she had left herself glamoured and wearing her famous ice queen mask. Pansy had been so positive her protective spell would have worked but dark magic always seemed to win out. As she felt the break in contractions, she rose from her place next to Theo’s bed.  Biting her lip and holding in another sob, everything was falling apart and she was helpless to stop it. The world was on fire even after the battle was won and Pansy was so tired. She leaned over and placed a soft kiss against Theos brown curls.

“I have to go to something. Wake up soon, please. We need you.” She whispered softly and then she apparated to a place she hadn’t been in over six months.

The cottage was exactly how they had left it. The bed was still left unmade from the last time he had made love to her. The night she’d made the mistake of forgetting the contraceptive spell. It had been that same night that they had conceived the daughter she was about to lose.

He didn’t know that, he didn’t know any of it because Pansy did everything in her power to protect him. He’d been through more than enough pain in his lifetime already, she’d do anything to keep him from more of it .

Groaning in pain, she begin to gather the supplies from around the small cottage that she would need in order to make sure she stayed safe during the horrifying event she was about to experience. The contractions were coming closer together and she didn’t want to accept that it was time. She just wanted to stop time, to keep her daughter inside of her womb and pretend that everything was okay and that her baby was alive. But she knew she couldn’t do that, If she did that then she would likely die, not that that wasn’t appealing as fuck currently but she had too many people who needed her. And one day, one day she would summon the courage to tell him about the daughter they had lost.

This cottage, their secret sanctuary, was as good a place as any to give birth. Her unborn child could rest peacefully  in the garden of a place that had felt more like home to her than the giant manor she grew up in. Then Pansy Parkinson lay down and braced herself for the long labor ahead of her.

12 Grimmauld Place
Sirus POV

Sirius stood up from the couch when his godson stormed into the study with a murderous look in his face. Remus and Sirius had prepared for this moment, the moment when they would need to reveal the truth and the moment they would need beg for forgiveness. Sirius placed his hands up in front of him in a ‘i come in peace’ stance.

“Harry, before you begin with the yelling can i please show a memory? I have it stored already for you to look at.” Sirius held up a small vial. Harry gave a small nod and then the 4 men walked over to the pensieve for a look into the past.

Lupin Residence

May 2, 1998

Sirius POV

Sirius Black stood before the wooden door and tried to convince himself that he could do this. It had only been a matter of a week since he’d escaped and found his way back to London. What a mess everything was and he knew the war was ramping up to the final battle. He could feel it in his weary bones. He had experienced this once before and he had lost people so dear to him, people he couldn’t replace and people he had failed. The first one he has failed had been Regulus. He failed Regulus so many times over the years and then he had failed his best friends. Sirius couldn’t do it again. His heart couldn’t take it and neither could his sanity. Some days he thought he had gone mad. Those demons of his liked to creep in and sink their hands into his other damaged mind. There were some days he was tempted to just let them have him, but no. He couldn’t do that because he would be damned if he failed his loved once again. He refused to fail Remus again, the boy he had fallen in love with all those years ago was now a beautiful man and they hadn’t had a chance to reconnect before everything with the order had gone to shit. So here he was to do something he rarely did, Sirius Black was here to beg Remus Lupin not to go to war. He raised his fist and knocked heavily on the wooden door. The door swung open and revealed an exhausted Remus with – with a baby cradled in his arms. Sirius ‘ chest tightened in pain, he knew he’d been gone a while and of course he would have wanted Remus to move on but the pain in his heart was more over powering than he could thought it could be. Sirius barely had time to breathe before a wand was in his face, “if you think you’re here to kill off some easy wizard than. I fear you have happened upon the wrong door and to polyjuice yourself as my dead friend is a new all time low.” Remus spat out angrily, as Tonks walked up behind him.

Oh the pain just keeps a coming. Sirius thought to himself as his fucking cousin walked up to Remus with her own wand raised.

“I should have anticipated this.” Sirius said with an exhausted sigh. “I know you won’t believe me but it is me, Sirius. It’s a long story and one I would rather not re live on your doorstep, Mooney.”

Remus was still not convinced and continue to look upon him with narrowed, angry eyes.

“If you’re really Black then tell me something only he would know.”

At that, Sirius smirked. Oh he would tell them something only he knew alright. Clearing his throat, he stood up tall and looked at Remus with a glint in his eye.

“Fair warning, you asked for this.” Sirius said with a laugh. “Remus Lupin, you’ve got a tattoo the shape of a black dog located on your..” Sirius was cut off when a hand was placed over his mouth, he began to shake with laughter as he looked into the eyes of Remus. Then that laughing turned into sobs. Remus quickly handed over the babe in his arm to Tonks and then wrapped his arms around Sirius.

“I don’t know how you’re back, but I am bloody happy about it. I have done nothing but look for you, I've read more books out of Grimmauld Place than I’ll ever admit. I never stopped looking for you, Padfoot. Never.”

Sirius allowed himself to be pulled into the small cottage that the 3 were residing in, once the door was closed, he turned around and eyed Tonks and the baby suspiciously. She’d always known where his heart lies, in fact she had been privvy to more than one over sharing session when Sirius had indulged in too much fire whiskey.

“He is mine, in a way.” Remus replied, answering the question that hung in the air.

“In muggle terminology, he was a donor.” Tonks added before she left the room and went down the hallway, leaving the two men to their own devices.

“To answer your first question you haven’t asked yet, I was in another dimension – or rather i was in purgatory. Nasty place, that is. Secondly, Remus, don’t go to that battle. Stay out of it. Haven’t we given enough? Haven’t we lost enough?”

Remus glared so fiercely at Sirius that he was surprised he didn’t catch on fire from the intensity of his gaze, “So you would prefer that I allow CHILDREN to go fight the war for us? Have you forgotten that Harry, Hermione, and Ron are all younger than Lily and James were when they died? You would have me let James’ only child run off into a battle that cannot be won?”

“Well you’ve done a mighty good job thus far of just letting him fly off into danger, haven’t you?” Sirius quipped back and then bit down on his lip knowing he should not have said that.

“You little, ungrateful dickhead.” Remus spewed back. His anger was coming in hotter than before and he could feel his temper growing shorter and shorter.

“But you are going to stay out of it.” Tonks replied coming down the hall, having put the child down for a nap.

“Tonks, what are you talking about. Of course I am not staying out of it.”

Tonks walked up to Remus and placed a hand against his cheek, “You owe me and I need you to live for Teddy. Just make sure and tell him how badass his mum was when you get around to talking about me.” She said softly, tears tracking down her face. Then, Tonks whispered a wandless spell and Remus would have fallen to the ground if it had not been for Sirius catching him.

“What are you doing, cousin? People will notice he is missing. Also he is never going to forgive you for this.” Sirius replied frantically looking from Remus in his arms to Tonks.

Tonks gave a sad smile to Sirius, “Cousin, I have known my fate since a very young age. I was close friends with a seer once and they were unable to keep what they knew from me. I wanted to be a mother before I did, so I became one. I know that was arguably very selfish of me, but it is what it is. I have made some poly juice, once people see me and know I am there, I will take it and so people will see Remus Lupin running around. They won’t know anything until after, if at all. After all, bodies of the dead are often never found after such a battle.” Tonks took a deep breath, as silent tears continued to track down her face, “Take care of Remus and please please, love my Teddy as your own. I didn’t get enough time with him. Don’t allow Remus to blame himself. “ With that the witch kissed Sirius on the cheek and walked out the cottage door.

12 Grimmauld Place

November 6th, 1998

Sirius POV

Sirius and the others pulled out of the memory and Harry looked at him with a tear stricken face. Draco had went to a corner of the study to give them privacy. Harry pulled the two men into a tight embrace, “I can’t be mad at you for being alive, can I? Please go take a room and get some sleep. I’ve got a missing best friend, 2 years of missing memories, and  an injured ex boyfriend to look in on. You look like you haven’t slept in the 2 years you’ve been gone.”

Draco walked over towards the 3 men, “No, Potter. You stay here. Tell me where she might be and I’ll go look for her. There’s too much going on here for you to be going out and about looking for a lost witch. Not to mention it’d be better for me to run into the death eaters on the run than you.”

Harry scoffed at Malfoy’s comment but he knew he wasn’t wrong, in addition Harry knew that no amount of pepper up potion would help him right now with the amount of firewhiskey he had consumed in such a short amount of time. He glared at Draco but knew he didn’t have a choice. There way nobody else he could send and he knew that as much as he had distrusted the snake over the years, he could be trusted. He’d saved them before and Malfoy was out of Azkaban due to both Harry and Hermione.

“Fine. I want to know the moment you find her though. She’s stuck by my side the start of it all, you got me?” He asked Malfoy with a focused glare. The blonde wizard looked him in the eye and gave him a terse nod. “Alright, I’d check her old house first. She hasn’t been back since before we left on our hunt.” Harry wrote down the address at a piece of paper and handed it to Malfoy who in turn took it and walked towards the floo, as Harry had nodded his head towards that direction. Then before he stepped through, he turned around and looked at Harry directly.

“Just so you know, Theo is to me how Hermione is to you. Take care of the bastard for me.” Draco said softly and then he was gone.

Chapter Text

A room with doors 

November 1998

Theo POV 

There are doors everywhere. Everytime he enters a door it’s another memory. He’s begun to notice that the black doors are the bad memories and he really tries to stay away from those.

Green is happy memories, most of those either include Harry or his time with his group of snakes.

Yellow doors are like a warning that shits about to get worse.

Red doors are..a hot and memorable time and usually ends up with him wishing he could wake up and find a release.

He just finished with a black door, a particular childhood memory that included the shed of isolation as his father had named it. He shuddered as he remembers the gnawing feeling of hunger in his belly. He turns towards a green door and decides to take a safe route this time and walks through it. 

Hogwarts

5th year 

Theo POV

Theo rounded the corner to the back of the library or the place where all the dust came to life as he had dubbed it. He came up short when he found his jbest friend Greg with his tongue shoved down Daphne’s throat. 

“Pretty sure whatever you’re looking for isn’t located in her tonsils, Greg.” Theo teased while leaning against the wall. 

Daphne jumped back away from Greg, her eyes going wide and then she turned around and dashed out of the library. 

“Damn it Theo. It took me weeks to convince her we wouldn’t get caught back here!” Greg retorted with a glare towards his best friend. Theo merely smirked, gave him a shrug and the continued to saunter towards where he was meeting his secret boyfriend . Well, Harry didnt know he was Theos secret boyfriend but Theo knew he would be. Eventually. He was still working on the whole convincing bit . He found Harry waiting for him in a corner they’d recently discovered, “well well Potter. Fancy meeting you here.” Theo smirked and winked. Harry rolled his eyes as if he was annoyed and then pulled Theo roughly into him, it took them both by surprise and Harry’s back hit the wall hard enough to knock the breath out of him. They collided in a tangle of limbs. 

“Nott, if you don’t remove your elbow from my kidney, I’m going to have to hex your ass. Which would be a shame considering what a nice ass it is. “ 

November 1998

Theo stumbles as he is pushed back to the center of the room surrounded by doors.

How in the goddamn fuck do I get out of here!? Theo took stock of the colored doors around him and noticed that they were all black except for a blue one. He took a deep breath and began his journey into hell . His own personal hell of memories that he wished weren’t real.

Stumbling out of the fifth black door, he sat in the middle of the room and brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. All that was left was that blue door. He had not had a memory door that was blue and that made him hesitate , but what else was there? He was stuck. Stuck in his own fucking head with a fuzzy memory of how the fuck he got here. He remember Azkaban. He remembered his trial. He thinks he went home but after the trial and before Azkaban things were a little fuzzy. He’s also pretty sure he showed up at Harry Potter’s house but that had to have been a dream or something.

“Ugh! Why can’t I fucking remember!” He yelled angrily gripping his hands in his hair and pulling at it roughly. “Alright. Fuck it. Blue door it is.” Theo thought to himself and then opened the door and walked through it.

4 Privett Drive

July 31,1997

Theo held his breath as he watched himself go into 4 Privett Drive. A lump caught in his throat as he watched one of the worst moments of his life (other than getting the mark that is) as he confessed the love he held in his heart for Harry Potter and tears rolled down his face as he watched himself oblivate all memories of their 2 year relationship from Harry’s mind.

12 Grimmauld Place

November 6, 1998

Theo POV

Theo awoke with a gasp and realized he wasn’t in that gods damn room with the fucking doors that kept mocking him. No he was in a dark room, a machine was beeping and he had countless wires also hooked up to him. He groaned softly as he attempted to sit up and look around the room. His breath caught in his chest as he looked across the room and saw bright green eyes staring back at him.

Oh. He knows. Oh. He’s so pissed. Fuck fuck fuck. Theo thought to himself.

His ex boyfriend didn’t say a word, simply walked up to Theo and held out a cup with a straw in it, Theo wrapped his lips around it and sucked while keeping eye contact with Harry who in return clenched his jaw so hard he probably chipped a tooth.

When Theo was done, Harry set the glass on the table in the room.

He brushed off his jeans and then went to the door, before he walked out he muttered , “I’d say I missed you and that I’m happy you’re alive. But you saw to it that I don’t fucking know you, Nott. You’re welcome to stay while we hunt down the fuckers who hurt you and are hunting us but after that I want you to walk out my front door and never darken it again. Got it?”

And then Harry Potter walked out the door and took Theo’s  heart with him once again.

A cave in the middle of nowhere

May 2, 1998

Regulus Black POV

Regulus Black gasped in a breath of fresh air as he broke surface of the lake. He pulled himself up out of the water as quickly as he could and crawled up the bank to give himself space from the water he had been in since the inferi dragged him down in 1979. He coughed up more water before flipping to his back.

He had actually fucking done it. When he had found his way into that weird magical realm that was a lot like purgatory he thought it was his ticket out. The more time that passed the more he believed he would ever get out, he had almost been eaten by the monsters there on multiple occasions. And then the day had arrived where his brother showed up.

Sirius never saw him but Regulus Black knew his brother and knew the arsehole would do anything to get back to his irritating group of friends. When Sirius appeared he realized HOW much time had passed. He looked aged. Nothing like his carefree teenage self after he’d left Regulus in the house of horrors. No this older Sirius had gone through some shit.

There had been countless times that Reg had had to save the dickhead from eaten . The man had zero self awareness. Finally the fucker had used that Gryffindor brain of his and figured a way out.

So he did what any Slytherin would do and he snuck his way out with his big brother without the other man having any clue.

So now here Regulus was, on the bank in that godsdamn cave and what would you know, he’s still 18. 

Chapter Text

Luna POV

On May 2, 1998 before the battle had begun, Luna Lovegood sat up straight in her cot and had one of the most memorable visions she had had to date. She didn’t tell a soul, but ever since that day she’d been unable to get out of her head the image of the boy with the black curls crawling out of the lake and landing on his back, breathing heavily.

The fates had spoken and Luna knew without a doubt he was important to her in some way .

Luna had always been a strange child but as she got older, she seemed to grow more and more into being a seer as her mother had been.
Not that she was given much or a choice. The fates did not really believe in free will and all that jazz. 

Granger Residence

November 6th, 1998

Draco POV

Draco floo’d into the abandoned house and immediately cursed to himself when he realized it was unwarded. Her best friend was literally coming back from death clutches , the ones who did it still on the loose and she thought it was a good idea to be in a house that’s unwarded. Merlin’s balls he was going to throttle this ridiculous witch when he found her. Draco went from being livid to concerned within half a second. He looked around the sitting room of the house and it was bare, not a piece of standing furniture is sight. There were however shards of furniture strewn across the span of the room and he could see it continue down the hallway. He noticed there were broken picture frames, glass, and shredded photos. He walked carefully down the hallway, but before he reached the end of the hall, a large blue light came through the room as a patronus in the shape of a stag stood in front of him and the voice that came out was that of the boy who didn’t stay dead,

“Malfoy, I’ve got some good news and some dreadful news. You’ll need to know both when you find her. First off, your arsehole of a best friend is awake. Still really out of it but we did speak. Secondly, I’ve just found out that Hermiones parents were victims in a deadly attack. They didn’t survive. I believe Australia would have sent a message to her. Malfoy, she’s going to be in bad shape when she finds out. I know you both despise each other but for the love of everything try and find some sort of compassion for her. We would have never won this bloody war without her and you know it. Thanks. Safe travels.” And then the stag left.

Draco shoved his hand rough through his hair, Fuck. This day just kept getting better and better.

Taking a deep sigh he continue his walk down the hallway and stopped in the doorway of what looked to be a child’s bedroom. The door had been blown off, the bed blown up, and then he heard a faint noise coming from deeper in the room, as he walked carefully toward the noise he realized it was coming from the closet. He carefully pulled his wand from

The holster and crept towards the disturbance. In the back of the closet wrapped up in a worn band T-shirt sat a destroyed looking Hermione Granger. Her hair was wild about her, she sat on her ass, legs pulled to her chest and was rocking back and forth, muttering to herself.

“Not dead. It’s just a dream. Not dead . It’s just a dream. Just a dream, they’re not dead. They don’t remember you but they’re not dead. Just a dream.”

Draco had seen many heart breaking moments in his short life, more death than he would care to admit, and he had seen some of the strongest wizards and witches breakdown from the pressure of war. Even with all that he had seen, even having seen her tortured on the floor in the drawing room of Malfoy Manor, nothing could have prepared him for the ache in his chest at the sight of Hermione Granger out of her mind in denial and grief. Draco quickly holstered his wand and held up his hands as he crept forward towards her. She didn’t even seem to really see him, it’s like she wasn’t present. That’s when he got a glance of her and realized she was also in a bad condition physically. It looked like she had a black eye, a cut on her cheek, bruises littered her arms, and her fists were bloody and he could see blood underneath her finger nails. Draco noticed her eyes glued to the opposite side of the room and he quickly turned around and was met with the unseeing eyes of Cormac McLaggen. Cormac who had several scratch marks on his face, neck, and chest. 

“Fuck” He spits out as he whirls back around to look at the brightest witch of his generation. Just as he does so, his blood runs cold as he hears the front door blast open and the mocking voice of Fenrir Greyback.

“Cormac! You’ve had your fun. The Weasel broke his imperio. Your time playing with the witch is up. I’m next.”

London

November 1998

Regulus POV

Regulus Black paced back and forth in front of the forsaken flat. It was run down, definitely not what he had imagined Pandoras daughter living in but times were tough after the war. Regulus had avoided her for over six months now but the visions were increasing and the last one was the most disturbing one yet. He’d be dammed if he’d let his friend’s daughter meet her end in such a way. He was still unsure how the fuck he was connected to Luna but it was definitely a connection. He had been watching her flat for the last week and this was normally the time she returned. She had a rather repetitive routine, which was comforting to Regulus. Boring and repetitive meant safe. However, nothing was ever simple for the youngest Black brother and that remained true has he heard a blood curdling scream from within.

“Putain.” He spat out before wandlessly blasting open the door of the flat.

Chapter Text

12 Grimmauld Place

November 7, 1998

Theo POV

Theo barged down the hallway of Grimmauld Place yelling for Pansy. He needed to make sure she was okay and that her unborn child was okay. He knew by this point she was six months and he was worried with the price on his head that someone would go after him.

“PANSY PARKINSON GET YOUR LITTLE ARSE OUT HERE.”

A door down the hallway flung open and Blaise came out, shirtless and buttoning a pair of trousers. “Theo, Mate. So happy to see you alive and talking but it’s 4am. If you wake the lioness in my bed, I’m going to put you back into a coma.”

Theo looked around Blaise and into the room and then snickered, “hate to break it to you mate but your lioness staged a decoy and escaped. You must still be sex drunk to not realize it.” Theo patted him roughly on his bare shoulder. Blaise whirled around to look at the bed and then scowled.

“Mother fucking bloody hell. I should have known she’d run for the hills.” Blaise mutters while running a large hand down his face.

“As much as I’d love to bask in your humiliation , I am afraid it is urgent that we find Pansy. Matter of life and death.”

Blaise looked at his best mate and could tell Theo was deadly serious.

“Theo, I honestly don’t know. Last I knew was that she was sitting at your beside. I haven’t seen in her quite a while since I was pre occupied.”

”Fuck.” Theo spat out as he began to charge down the hallway, “Where’s Draco? We need to find her.” 

“He’s not here. He went to find Hermione, or should I say he went to find one of your other best friends? Seems you collect them. Do you also collect memory wiped ex boyfriends?” Harry snarked from where he had walked out of his office and was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed showing off the lean muscles he had put on over the course of the last year causing Theo to swallow thickly while he also narrowed his eyes at the wizard.  

"Hilarious, Potter." Theo snapped and then he stood up straight and leaned in close so that only Blaise could hear him, "Blaise, I can't tell you why because she trusted me with a secret but you need to reach out to whoever can help us find Pansy. She wouldn't have gone missing for no reason and on top of that we still have my jackass of a father and Lucius out there hunting for us." 

He then turned and stalked down the hallway, stopping briefly before Harry and leaning in towards him.
"I promised to help you remember, so here's some knowledge from the past. It's always made me hard as steel when you're mean to me, so by all means keep going with the taunts. All you're doing is making me look forward to the day I end up underneath you again." Theo whispered huskily into his ear and then leaned back, winked at Harry and finished his trek down the hallway where he locked himself in the loo in order to catch his breath. 

Hogwarts Grounds

November 9,1998

Pansy POV

She should have taken longer to heal both mentally and physically, but she couldn't stay away for much longer. She knew Theo was okay because she had a spell set up to let her know immediately if his vitals were abnormal. However, she could feel the wound from the cursed blade getting worse as the hours ticked by and she was aware enough that she knew it was stupid to be alone when so many dangerous death eaters were still running around.

Salazar knows the ministry wasn't doing bloody anything to help protect those who spent their childhood fighting a war. However, on her return to Grimmauld Place she first felt the need to stop by Hogwarts and visit the graves of the friends she had lost. So here she was, trying to mourn her dead classmates and professors but luck just has not been on her side lately. 

She heard a collection of male voices heading her way and she instantly noticed the voice of Lucius Malfoy, she hurried down a nearby cooridor but an arm reached out and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her into a dark alcove.

Before she could manage a scream, a hand was placed over her mouth and she inhaled sharply through her nose to try and control her breathing. When she inhaled all she could smell was home. Neville. She'd missed the way he smelled. She could feel the heat of his body against her back as he leaned down and whispered roughly into her ear. 

"Love, I'd really appreciate it if you would stop insisting on placing yourself in dangerous situations. I am far too young to be growing grey hairs. Now pipe down before you get us caught. Sadly, the ministry took the sword so all I've got is my wand." 

Pansy manages a simple nod and Neville removes his hand from against her mouth and they listen to the deatheaters who have gathered outside. 

"Nott, you're certain this spell will work?" Lucius Malfoy asks harshly. 

"No ritual is perfect, Lucius. So no, I don't know for certain if it will bloody work but it's the first step to take in the resurrection." Nott snaps back. 

Pansy and Neville both freeze and look at each other in horror. Then they are forced to stay silent and listen as the enemy attempts to bring the dark lord back from the dead. A hour later and they finally hear cursing, a few hexes, and then the sound of several wizards apparating away. They quickly do the same and stumble into the sitting area of 12 Grimmauld Place. 

"Harry!" Neville yells at the same time that Pansy yells for Draco. 

Theo comes bounding into the sitting area quickly pulling on a shirt, his hair still wet from the shower he just took, "Pansy Parkinson, you gave me a right heart attack. I've already been close to death recently or have you forgot-" he froze as he looked at his best friend. He could instantly tell she was wearing a glamour and he could sense something wrong, something that felt cursed, coming off her in waves.

She looked at him in the eyes and fiercely shook her head, begging him with her expression to not ask. She glanced over at the man next to her and it seemed to click for Theo that she didn't want Neville to know. He gave a terse nod and came towards her, pulling her into a hug right as Harry and Blaise came running into the room. 

"Nev? What's with the yelling?" Harry asks, blatantly ignoring Theo. 

"Mate. They're trying to bring him back. The deatheaters. They're trying to bring Voldemort back." Neville breathed out and watched as all the blood drained from Harry's face. 

Godric's Hollow

The Potter's Residence 

November 9th, 1998

James POV

James Potter awoke with a gasp and realized he was buried in what appeared to be rubble.

What the bloody hell is Sirius playing at this time, he thought to himself as he begin to struggle to get the boards off of him. He felt disoriented and ached all over, the last thing he remembered was that it had been Halloween and there'd been a knock at the door. He recalled placing his wand on the couch (honestly to this day he couldn't understand why he did such a thing) and then answered the door.

"Bloody fucking stupid ass wood. Get off." He rasps out as he continues to struggle with escaping from whatever has fallen on him. Shit, was there an accident? Did the house blow up? Did he miscalculate a potion he was brewing?

Suddenly feminine hands broke through and grabbed him to heave him up. He stood up on weak legs and looked into the eyes of Lily Potter. His wife in name only, a lavender marriage if you will. They loved each other but they both swung different ways. Harry was born of love but what had happened was — James looked terrified into Lilys green eyes. “Harry!?” He exclaimed and tears immediately sprung into her eyes .

“James.. I don’t know where he is. Last I remember is us being attacked. And he’s not in the bedroom. The house looks like it’s not been touched in 20 years. James, what the fuck is happening” she whispered as tears fell down her face. James brought her into his arms in a fierce hug and kissed her hair as he surveyed their once beautiful house that did indeed looked like it hadn't been lived in, in quite some time. 

Chapter Text

Lovegood Residence

Regulus POV

Regulus burst through the doors of the flat and saw Luna Lovegood throwing random objects at the head of a young blonde man who kept using his wand to exploade the items before they made contact with his skull.

“Salazar save me. Stop it! Pan! How do you not recgonize your own twin. For fuck sake.”

“Evan?” Regulus rasped out and then two sets of eyes were looking directly at him. Evan was dead. He was sure of that, one of the first thing Regulus did after he got back in May was research who had and had not survived both wars and Evan was on that list. Taken down during a fight between deatheaters and aurors, though if the light side had had their information fucking correct they would have realized that Evan, Barty, and Regulus along with a few others had all been working for the light side as spies.

Barty had lasted a little longer but in the end he’d met his end by the wand of the dark lord. Everyone thought it was the dementors but it had indeed been the dark lord to end him. It registered to Regulus that Evan had called Luna by his sister’s name. Slowly Regulus walked towards his best friend who apparently was no longer dead.

“Ev, mate. It’s bloody good to see you but this isn’t Pandora. It’s her daughter, Luna.”

Evan scoffed at him, “Don’t tell jokes, Reg. Now where’s Pan. Somethings wrong. I can’t explain it but things look different and something feels wrong.”

Luna looked at Regulus and Evan with pain showing in her eyes, “I am Luna. Pandora was my mother.”

“W-What do you mean w-w-was?” Evan choked out, looking at Regulus with fear and then his eyes widened as something in him seemed to click, “No. No. No. The wrong feeling. She always told me that when.. When the time for one of us came. When Death came knockin’ as she called it. She said we would never be the same. That whoever was left alive wouldn’t feel right. That it would feel wrong and she always told me she hoped to go first because she didn’t know if she could live feeling that level of wrong. Regulus. Please. Tell me the worng feeling isn’t because she’s gone. The world needs her. Lily needs her. I fucking need her. Reg? Please?” Evan begged as he fell to his knees where he stood, his body bent over as he gribbed his hair in his hands.

Regulus quickly knelt to the ground as did Luna and wrapped his arms around Evan Rosier, “I’m so sorry. I wish I could tell you you’re wrong.”

Luna’s face froze as she heard Evan’s last name. She read about him, the terror that he and Barty Crouch had been during the first war, she made a small noise and Regulus’ eyes shot to hers and he subtly shook his head. She didn’t know why she trusted him, but she did. She had a dream recently where her mother came to her and told her that the boy with the pale skin and the black curls was family and to be trusted. Luna learned at a young age to always trust the dreams and so here she was.

“It - It was an accident. An explosion from some test she was doing. My father was away on business. I was at a friends. I c-came home and found her.” Luna said softly as she fiddled with the fraying ends of her jumper.”

A tortured sound left Evan as he surged foward and caught Luna in a rough hug, she let out a startled gasp but relaxed and returned the hug. Regulus leaned back and settled his ass onto the floor, his back against the wall as he watched them. An uncle and niece who never had a chance to meet, he wasn’t sure he knew where he fit in here or why he had weird dreams and he definitely did not know how the fuck Evan Rosier was alive again but he was going to enjoy having his friend back while he could.

Abandoned Cathedral

Barty POV

Barty Crouch Jr woke up in an abadoned church near London. He sat up and thought that someone must be playing a joke on him because he wouldn’t be caught dead in a fucking church, let alone a catholic one. His whole body ached like someone had beat him half to death before knocking him out. That’s when the memories came back to him, the being broken out of Azakaban, drug to this church, tortured within an inch of his life by Nott and Malfoy. Presented to the dark lord and then the dark lord had murdered him after telling him that he knew all along that He and Evan were spies, that he had been the reason the auror’s found Evan. The dark lord admitted to using an imperio on Moody and ordering him to find and murder Evan Rosier.

Barty’s chest ached all over again from that memory. He never recovered after losing his Rosie. He knew the rumors about how people believe he went mad after losing his best friends, but the truth was that Evan’s death is what sealed the deal for him. He stopped caring about anyone and anything.

Then the opportunity had came to get revenge on Moody and Barty had grasped that chance. His plans had been to get his revenge and then to finally take himself out of this miserable life but James’ boy ended up being smart like his father and he had been found out.

Barty didn’t remember the afterlife which was a shame because he was sure his reunion with Evan would have been very eventful, after all it had been over a decade since they had seen each other.

Barty heaved himself up off the floor from where he was laying and stumbled over the rubble that lay on the floor of the abandoned church, he carefully peeked outside the doors and realized it was an overcast and brisk day.

He found what looked like an old paper that must have been delivered recently and his heart stopped at the title

May 2, 1998: THE DARK LORD DEFEATED. HARRY POTTER DEFEATS THE DARK LORD.

“Bloody hell.” Barty muttered to himself and then did a quick wandless glamour on himself before he began to walk down the road to see what the world was like now that the light side had won the war.

Chapter Text

Granger Residence

November 1998

Draco POV:

Draco bent down and spoke quickly into Hermione’s ear, “There’s a hole in the wall of the bedroom. I’m going to lift you up and carry you out. We have to be quiet. We can’t apparate. The worst type of deatheater is in this house and he’s looking for Cormac. So I’m going to need you to pull on some of that Gryffindor bravery that you’re known for and be bloody quiet, alright?”  

Hermione gave him a quick nod and grimaced as if she was in pain, which Draco did not doubt. He placed an arm under her knees to lift her up and had to tamp down the anger thrumming through his veins as he caught a glimpse of the blood tracking down her inner thighs, he noticed the bruises shaped like finger prints and wished he could kill Cormac himself. Draco lifted Hermione into his arms as gently as he could before wandlessly casting a shield around them as well as a notice me not spell. He felt the way she tensed and the way her breathe quickened, the last thing he needed was her focusing on the body of the man she had killed and then having a panic attack. Draco hadn't prepared for this, he was no stranger to panic attacks but he was a stranger to the calm and collected golden girl not being calm nor collected. It made his chest ache and his heart feel like it was being squeezed by an iron fist. Hadn't they all been through enough? Hadn't the war taken enough? He took a deep breath as he adjusting her in his arms to a more comfortable position.

“Put your face into my shirt and close your eyes. Do not open your eyes until I tell you, Granger. I know you don’t trust me given our past and I deserve that, but I promised that best friend of yours that I’d bring you back alive. I intend to keep that promise, we will have to hide out somewhere safe since Greyback is known for tracking. Understood?” 

“I never held our past against you, Draco. We’re more than who they tried to mold us into. You included.” Hermione said softly and they did as she was instructed.

Draco let out a harsh breath and walked them out carefully through the hole in the wall. He briskly walked them down the street and into another house. Once there, he heard a shout from the down the street and quickly apparated them first to The Louvre in Paris, France. Then he took them to see Big Ben in London. Finally, he took them to St. Peter's Cathedral in Vatican City to try and break the scent that Greyback had at them. He apparated for a fourth time and they finally landed within the wards of a safe house in Romania that he and the other Slytherins had kept. He quickly took them inside the small cabin and then activated the floo. There was only one place it connected to and he immediately sent out a call.  

“Adrian. You’re needed. I need you. Hurry.”  

He then carefully placed Hermione on the soft couch before collapsing onto the floor, attempting to catch his breath. He glanced over at the golden girl and she was out cold but he saw the rise and falll of her chest. He didn’t want to even imagine what she went through during the tijme she was missing. 

Moments later, the floo lit up bright green and one of Draco’s best friends stumbled through, followed by another man who a head of red hair. Both men looked like they’d just been properly shagged. Adrian Pucey lacked a shirt and was buttoning up a pair of muggle jeans.  

“Adrian, I appreicate you taking me seriously but you could have.. Gotten yourself properly dressed first.” Draco drawled at seeing him, then he glanced over and gave a brief nod to Charlie Weasley. At least Adrian had picked one of the hot Weasleys.  

Adrian chuckled and then came to a hault in front of the couch, Charlie crowded behind him wrapping a firm hand around his boyfriend’s hip and squeezing it gently and then let out a small surprised noise.  

“Tell me that’s not Hermione bloody Granger. The golden witch of our age looking half dead on your couch, mate.” Adrian whispered, rubbing his eyes as if he was seeing things.  

“Okay. I won’t tell you.” Draco retorted as he rubbed the back of his neck trying to work out the joint pain.  

“Adrian, I told you I would learn to tolerate him but if he’s somehow hurt Hermione then I am afraid I’m about to break a promise, love.” Charlie growled out as he began to advance towards Draco. Adrian quickly pulled his lover back.  

“I’m positive Draco has an explanation. For whats happened and as to why he’s in a safe house rather than his fucking manor.”  

“Ah yes. Well. Let’s see. I finally got out of hell aka prison. Came home to a destoryed manor thanks to mother taking her rage out on the house which I am understanding towards, then I was summoned to Potter’s manor where it was discovered that Theo had been attacked and was nearly dead. Speaking of dead, you know who’s not dead? Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Also Potter’s temper has gotten more short tempered if that’s even possible. Blaise sacked a Weasley , sorry Charlie, and then I went off to find Granger since she’d gone missing and she weasel screeched about it till I agreed. Then I found Hermione, a blown up muggle home, the body of Cormac and then Greyback showed up.”  

“Salazar. When you find trouble you really just commit yourself to the amount of bloody trouble you find.” Adrian muttered, as he began a diagnostic spell over Hermione’s body and he lost all sense of appeite as the results began to come in.  

Draco glanced over at Charlie and Adrian before he glanced at the results the spell was showing. He quickly summoned a bottle of firewhiskey that was nearly empty. He downed the remaining bit and then threw the bottle into the fire, letting it crash and the fire to grow.  

“Something happened at a ministry meeting, she ran off and so I went to find her. At her old house, her muggle home. When I got there, Potter had sent a message letting me know that her parents were dead so that I knew because she would have been notified first. I found her in her childhood room, in the closet in the state you see her in now. We came here in case Greyback is tracking. I attempted to make a false trail but I don’t know how well it worked. I couldn’t lead him back to Potter’s. Everyone is at Potter’s and Theo just woke up after trying to die on us. Adrian, it was close. He almost didn’t make it.”  

Adrian made a small, pained noise at Draco’s response. Theo and Adrian had always been close, the only one closer to Adrian than Theo was Draco. Charlie reached out and gave Adrian a small comforting squeeze to his shoulder. The other man looked into the eyes of his best friend with a brief nod, “Alright, let’s get our golden girl all fixed up so that she can use that lovely brain of hers to put down these cunts that have the audacity to dare try and kill my best friend.”  

Cemetary, Godric's Hollow

November 1998

Sirius POV:

Sirius Black knew it was rather ballsy to be visiting the grave of his two best friends when death eaters were still crawling about, but he and Remus made it point to sneak off to visit the graves of Lily and James whenever they could. The first time he’d visited them had been the day Voldemort had been defeated to tell his best friend that the dark lord was no more, their son was safe, and that he and Lily hadn’t given their life for nothing. Sirius always brought a bottle fire whiskey and some joints with him. James always did love both whenever they were relaxing and shooting the shit. Remus always sat quietly next to Lily’s grave and told her stories of Harry and how smart he was, that she had given birth to a brilliant boy with her green eyes and if she were here she would have been so very proud.  

Today was just like any other day that they had decided to visit the cemetery. The air had a slight chill to it, but the sun was shining brightly above as if it had a secret to share and wanted the whole world to feel the warmth of it. Little did Sirius Black know that this day was about to be much different than all the other times.   

Godric's Hollow

November 1998

James POV:

“C’mon, Lils. Let’s just cut through the cemetery. You know when we used to travel, it always cut down the walking time.” James insisted as he led Lily down a path they had taken countless times before but for some reason today it felt vastly different. Like they were about to stumble upon something important, something they needed. They had discovered a newspaper as they walked the quiet streets and knew that somehow they’d been gone for over a decade, so when they began to walk through the cemetery and heard two voices they had not heard in 17 years , they froze.   

“Sirius. We shouldn’t be here.”  

“Moony, I do so love you but I need it. He may be dead but I require time with my best friend especially when I know his son is still pissed at me even when he’s trying not to be. Everytime he looks at me in utter disappointment with his fathers looks and his mothers eyes it guts me. Before you lecture me on that, I am aware it’s not fair. I’m fucking trying okay? But it’s been 17 years and sometimes the loss hits me like it was only yesterday we lost them.” Sirius voice cracks as James and Lily hurry towards the men.   

 James watches as Sirius takes a long gulp out of a bottle and then launches it at a stone wall.   

Well that just won’t do.   

 “Oi. I thought we had a discussion about wasting a perfectly good bottle of firewhiskey, Pads.”   

 Sirius turns around so quickly that he nearly fell over, his eyes went wide and then he promptly fell to the ground.   

Remus heaves a great sigh, “of course he would faint. Such dramatics.” And then he lifted his tear filled eyes to his two best friends, “how?”  

Before James is able to launch into a half assed explanation, Sirius sits up with a startled gasp as he looked into the concerned eyes of Remus Lupin.  

“Moony. I had the strangest dream . 

“It wasn’t a dream, Padfoot.” Came a familiar voice behind him. Sirius stumbled to his feet and turned around , only to be met with a pair of hazel eyes he had not looked into since 1981.   

“James.” He choked out before launching himself into the arms of his once dead best friend. Sirius wept into the shirt of James Potter and felt the soft hands of Lily Evans Potter rubbing up and down his back. Finally, he pulled apart from James whose eyes were equally red and swollen from crying. Sirius grabbed Lily into a tight hug and kissed her softly on the cheek.   

“How?”   

“We don’t know. Woke up in our home. I was buried under heaps of rubble. We.. we saw a paper. He’s really gone? Who is this savior that defeated him? And it’s really 1998?”   

Sirius gave James a soft smile and nodded.   

“It’s true. Would.. would you both like to see Harry?”   

Lily choked out a sob, “oh thank heavens. He’s alive? We .. we couldn’t find him. Last thing I remember was protecting him and when I woke up he was just gone.”   

Remus cleared his throat, “Let’s apparate to Grimmauld Place, but you both should know that the savior the paper talked about? It’s Harry.”   

“No.” Lily whispered as she met James’ pained gaze ,”I never wanted that life for him.” A tear tracked its way down James’ cheek as he took Sirius’ arm so they could apparate to 12 Grimmauld Place.   

12 Grimmauld Place  

November 1998

Harry POV  

It was late and Harry couldn’t sleep again. Ever since he found out about the attempted resurrection of Voldemort his nightmares had been non stop. He was in the kitchen making a hot toddy featuring fire whiskey when Theo Nott, the one person he didn’t want to see, found him.   

“Penny for your thoughts?” A voice said behind him, causing him to flinch and spill his hot drink down the side of his hand. He hissed in pain, sucking the side of his hand into his mouth as he turned around and glared.   

Theo looked far too delectable for having been half dead for a week. He casually leaned against the doorframe, sporting a pair of dark green pyjama bottoms, no shirt, and had his arms crossed across his chest. When Harry’s green eyes finally made it to Theo’s grey ones there was a smirk on his lips and he had his eyebrow quirked. Harry scowled at him and rolled his eyes as he jumped up onto the counter to enjoy his hot beverage.   

“Not in this lifetime, you wanker. Go away. This house is plenty big that I shouldn’t have to look at your face till this all over and done with.” Harry retorted as he took a long sip of his drink.   

“Harry - “ Theo began to object, but they were both distracted by the sound of the floo and several voices coming from the sitting room. Harry downed the remainder of his drink, set the glass down, and then rushed out of the kitchen, knocking his shoulder into Theo as he went.

He heard Theo heave a sigh and knew from the sounds behind him that his ex boyfriend had followed him out. Harry walked towards the voices, he recgonized the voices of Sirirus and Remus but not the other two. He thought his two godfathers had gone out for the night, stating they had some plans and would be out rather late.

Harry arrived in the doorway of the sitting room and froze in place as he stared into a pair of green eyes that matched his own. Eyes that he had only ever seen in a photograph and beside her was a man that could have passed as Harry’s twin.  

“Padfoot.” He whispered hoarsley, “What the bloody fuck is going on?”  

Sirius stepped forward, ending up next to James. Theo came to a halt behind Harry, placing a comforting hand on his waist, Harry didn’t even seem to notice that he naturally leaned back into Theo’s chest.  

“Happy early Christmas, Harry. Your parents are back from the dead.” Sirius said lightly as he placed an arm around the shoulder of James Potter. 

“Please don’t prank me. It’s not funny. Not this.” Harry’s voice broke as he stared at Lily and James Potter, a sob working it’s way out of his throat. That was all Lily Evans Potter could handle, she rushed forward and pulled her 18 year old son into her arms, the first time she had been able to do so since Halloween of 1981.  

“It’s not a prank, my precious Harry. I promise, I am real and I’ll be damned if anyone dares to try and take me away from you again.” Lily whispered tearfully and that broke the dam. Harry fell into her arms, hugging her fiercly as he sobbed.

Moments later, James walked up and wrapped his arms around Lily and Harry and let himself fall apart. Theo stood protectivly behind Harry, his hand held against his lower back as he wondered what it would be like to hug his own mother for one last time.

Remus Lupin took Sirius’ hand and they quietly left the room, allowing the family to reunite after 17 years.  

Chapter Text

12 Grimmauld Place 

November 1998 

Theo POV: 

Theo paced relentlessly outside of the room that Pansy was supposedly staying in. She had been avoiding him and he didn’t know why. It had been a handful of days since the return of Harry’s dead parents, Harry was worried sick that at any moment they would just up and disappear so he was refusing to let them out of his sight. Theo could relate to this, because if his mother suddenly came back from the dead he would be the same way. She hadn’t even been dead that long, it had been the day he had oblivated Harry that he had also lost his mother, he had shut down on his emotions after that otherwise he would have drowned in the feeling of hopelessness. Theo paused his pacing when the bedroom swung open and he was met with the piercing gaze of one of his best friends who placed her small hands on her hips, “Can I help you? Or are you going to insist on continuing this pacing in front of my bedroom door at 2am?” Theo smirked and then walked past her and into her bedroom, he walked over to bed and sat down, while leaning down against his elbows. Pansy heaved a sign and then closed the door, walking slowly towards the bed. Theo walked her every move like a hawk and narrowed his eyes as he noticed the way she walked more carefully and favored one side over another.  

“Pansy Parkison, I have two very important questions for you and I am going to have to demand that you answer them honestly.” He said in a steady, but stern voice. Pansy’s eyes quickly shot to his, it was a rare ocassion that she heard him in such a serious tone. She winced and looked down at her feet, but gave him a brief nod of her head.  

“Pansy, why are you no longer with child and why the fuck are you favoring your left side. You are the most prim and popular beauty I know, you would never walk like this unless forced. What happened while I was out? What did they do?” He whispered as he reached forward and grabbed her small hand. Pansy sucked in a sharp breath and attempted to steady her breathing as if she had a horrible secret that she didn’t know how to tell him. 

“Best just spit it out. Don’t worry about my feelings or how hard it is to expose the secret. I’m a big boy. I can handle it.” 

“Not this one you can’t, Theo.” Pansy whimpered, biting her lip. “This secret, I can barely handle. Can you let me hold onto it a bit longer?”  

“Are you in danger?” He asked softly. 

“Yes, but can you please let me keep it to myself a bit longer? There’s someone else who needs the truth more than you and I haven’t been able to tell him yet.” She whispered as soft as the wind whispering through the cold air.  

Theo gave a stiff nod, “I’ll allow it, but Pansy – if it gets worse, if you’re in danger.. I need you to tell me. I’ve lost too much, some of it’s my fault but I can’t bear to lose you as well. You realize you’re one of the most important people to me?” Pansy came out and laid down on her back next to Theo and leaned her head against his shoulder, Theo let out his held breath as he reveled in the moment of once again being with somone who understood him to his core.  

Hogwarts 

November 1998 

Harry POV: 

The grounds of Hogwarts were eerily calm, the castle had been abandoned. Safe the ghosts that could not leave. The Ministry had decided that come January, they could re-visit the proposal to fix the castle up and re-open in September for a new school year, but many were still wary of even considering sending children back to such a place that was known for the final battle between Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter. Many had also lost someone in the battle that they had no desire to return to such a place.  

Inside the castle, the wind rustled through the dust and rubble that had gathered during the battle. Not a soul, not even the professors, had returned to begin to clean up what remained inside. All that had been done was that bodies had been collected and buried or burned. It was on one of these cold and lonely nights that Harry decided to visit the scene of where the resurrection ritual had taken place. He had snuck out in the early morning hours before anyone could object to his plan, but Harry didn’t care.

His parents were back from the dead and he would absolutely not lose them for a second time in his short life. He wasn’t afraid of dying, after all he had been there and done that. As he walked through the castle, he remembered the day of the battle as if it had just happened, he could hear the screams, cries, and could even feel the heat of the fire that he had barely escaped. He let his insticts lead him through the castle, they had never steer him wrong before. Sure, they had steered him directly into mortal danger but they had never actually failed him.

As he got closer to the dungeons, he could hear singing and muttering in an attractive male voice. Harry didn’t know when he started thinking a voice was attractive but he was most certain on this thought as it went through him.  

“I know that you’ve been damaged.  

Your soul has suffered such abuse 

But I am not your savior 

I am just as fucked up as you.” 

“This is absolutely abhorrant, my father would have hated it. Also, why is it so bloody correct. Must be a wizard, git should know better than to put this shit out there. Salazar save me, whatever dimension I am in has gone absolutely mental.” The voice muttered aloud to itself. 

Harry continued to creep closer, gripping his wand tightly as he was careful to not step on any stone that would make his presence known. He took a deep breath as he turned the corner and came face to face with someone he knew. Someone he had seen once in a pensieve, someone he had seen once in the chamber of secrets. He didn’t understand what was going on, but what he did understand was that Tom fucking Riddle was looking back at him, a shocked look upon his face as he dropped the bottle of wine he had apparantly been drinking.

The muggle music continued to play in the background as Tom backed away from Harry before hitting the stone wall, he winced as glass from the wine bottle embeded itself into his barefoot.

Harry stormed up to him, using his wand to tilt Tom’s head towards him, “I don’t know how the bloody hell you are back, but I will be damned if I let you walk out of here with a beating heart so that you can wreck my life apart again. You’re a dead man.” Harry growled as he pinned the other man to the wall by putting his forearm against his exposed neck.  

“Mate.” Tom wheezed out, struggling to breathe against the forearm pressed against him,”I don’t know who the fuck you are, but take whatever you want. I won’t tell a soul. I am literally just here till I can find Dumbledore in this dimension and have him help send me back to my own dimension.”  

“You cannot possibly think that I would believe this story. You’re a dark wizard who put the world through hell for 17 bloody years. You caused two wars and you expect me to just let you live? Just let you go? Cause you’re claiming to be innocent!?”

Hogwarts

November 1998 

Tom Riddle POV: 

Tom recoiled at the words coming out of Harry’s mouth.  A dark wizard? He would never. Sure he had been dabbling in the dark arts out of curiosity. He hadn’t meant for Nagini to get out and go after the Muggleborns, he certaintly didn’t give two shites about them as the other’s in his house did. He only acted like he did so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences if he didn’t. Being a half muggle born himself, he dealt with enough bullying thank you very much. However, Nagini had caught the end of a wrong conversation he was faking and she’d taken it for heart.

Poor Mrytle had paid the price. He had felt terrible after it’d happen, so terrible in fact that he made sure to spend every Saturday during the school year with Mrytle. He kept her up to date on the outside world’s news and he apologized a million times, but she had finally informed him that she wasn’t sad about being dead. She told him that it was better than when she was living, so really she should be thanking him. Tom had immediately left and gotten sick in the men’s loo and now he was brought face to face with someone claiming him to be a monster. Tom was so confused, last he recalled was going to bed as an 18 year old graduate.

He was couch surfing since he didn’t see eye to eye with his family, everyone believed he hated his adopted father because of his beliefs, but the truth was that Tom hated the man because he had no respect for men who believed it was okay to beat women and children. Tom had horror stories he could tell as well as the scars to prove the truth of his stories if he so chose to do so.  

“Please. Whoever you are, I don’t know what you mean. I just know that last time I went to sleep I was 18, having graduated Hogwarts, and it was 1944. Then I woke up in Hogwarts of all places, in my old common room, and according to an old notebook of a Theo Nott, it is apparently the late 1990’s and I don’t know how. I don’t know who sent me to this awful dimension, but I’d much prefer to be back in 1944 who I was finally about to be free to begin my life as I wanted to.”  

Tom’s confession seemed to shock the other boy, briefly. It only lasted a second before he was once again pressing Tom into the stone wall. He swears he tried to control his bodies reaction, but his realization that he was attracted to men and not women had come late in life after several, several years of denial and he couldn’t bloody well help how attractive the other man was, or that he found it hot that his very life was being threatened. He did his best to angle his body so that his hardening cock wouldn’t be noticeable or press against the unsuspecting wizard before him. The other man gritted his teeth, then grabbed Tom roughly and he felt his stomach bottom out as the apparated to what appeared to be the Gryffindor common room. The room looked like someone had barfed Red and Gold. 

“Ew. Gryffindors.” Tom commented earning himself a smack upside the head. He rubbed the back of his head and glared at the other man, who had walked over to the fireplace and floo called someone.

Hogwarts

November 1998  

Harry POV: 

Harry would never be able to explain why he had decided that Theo was the person he called to Hogwarts, but he was. He didn’t want his godfather’s or his parents involved in this, not till he figured out what this was. Tom Riddle had become Lord Voldemort later in life and had ruined countless lives, his own included. However, if this wizard before him was to be believed – this was Tom Riddle in the flesh, at the age of 18 before he went bad. He didn’t seem to have a recollection of all the sins he had committed and that was both driving Harry crazy and also confusing him. Less then 5 minutes later, Theo Nott stormed into the Gryffindor common room by blasting open the portrait of the fat lady who immediately began to scream at him in several languages. Theo pointed his wand directly at Tom, knowing immediately who it was.  

“Harry.” He snapped, grabbing his wrist and pulling him behind him. Theo was dressed in his dark green sweats, one of Harry’s old under shirts, and his dark mark was on displace. Tom grimaced, noticing the mark. He knew that drawing. He had drawn it, many times as he was considering a snake tattoo as something to show his love for his darling Nagini, but he was unsure why it was on this other wizard’s warm. Harry didn’t know HOW he knew exactly how Tom felt about the mark, but he did. He had a feeling there was still some sort of weird psychic connection between to them.  

“Theo.” Harry said, placing a hand against his hip from behind him, “ I called for assistance, not for you to charge in here like I am some damsel.”  

“Oh, sorry Love. However, you have a tendency to run off and attempt to sacrifice your bloody life like a fucking hero. So I am here to make sure you don’t do something so idiotic for the billionth fucking time. I rather like my pretty face and I have a very strong feeling your family would happily re-arrange it if something were to happen to you. Now, why don’t you tell me why Tom sodding Riddle is in front of us?”  
Harry hurriedly explained to Theo what had happened thus far and Theo’s nostrils flared and his eyes darkened as he watched the way Tom responded to the re-telling.  

“Oh fuck me. He likes it when you’re pissed, Harry! It turns him on.” Theo yelled, before sending off a stinging hex at Tom, who yelped when he hit him directly in the chest, “Does it make your dick hard when my boyfriend yells at you, Riddle?”  

“Ex- boyfriend.” Harry corrected, earning himself a hard glare.  

“Bloody fucking hell, what is wrong with the two of you! Violence is NOT HOT.” Harry yelled, throwing his arms in the air as he began to pace back and forth in the common room, muttering about how he attracted the worst sort of men and how all Slytherin wizards were complete psychopaths.  

Tom bravely stepped forward, wincing at the glass still in his feet and the fact that there were now two wands shoved against his throat, he groaned internally at the attraction he felt towards these two violent wizards. He cleared his throat, doing his best to continue to angle his body so the bugle within his trousers was not noticeable, Salazar this was embarrassing.  

Harry once again blinked as Tom’s thoughts invaded his own briefly, his own cock twitching at the fact that Tom was turned on by not only himself but also Theo. He was the definition of sex appeal and who Harry had been fighting tooth and nail to avoid. Theo who knew he was hot, even hotter with his new scars, and insisted on prancing around the house in little to no clothing, or proudly wearing Harry’s old shirts. Harry ran a hand roughly through his hair and directed them to look around, “We stay here till we have more answers. I refuse to expose everyone else to this and I absolutely will not let him into my home. For all we know, this is some trick and he’ll try and kill me in the next day, again.”  

Theo roughly pulled a wooden chair away from the wall and pointed to it, “Sit.” He commanded Tom. Tom seemed to be done arguing and did so, the next moment he was tied to the chair. Tom merely looked at both men and quirked his eyebrow.  

“I’m tired. Harry’s tired. Neither of us trust you. Don’t like it? I don’t sodding care.” Theo replied and then curled up onto a corner of a nearby couch. Harry followed him, curling up on the opposite side of the couch, electing to close his eyes rather than speak to either Tom or Theo. He heard Theo mutter something about stubburn Gryffindor’s, Slytherin fuckers coming back from the dead right before he let sleep claim him.  

Hogwarts

November 1998 

Theo POV:

Theo was dreaming again, he knew it was a dream yet he couldn’t help but cringe as the dream played on. He should have known that seeing Tom Riddle in the flesh would bring up such memories, his mental state was still weak as it was due to the whole almost dying bit that had happened to him after suffering months in Azkaban. Tonight’s nightmare contained one memory that he kept locked down, but of course it had leaked itself out and forced Theo to revisit the day he learned that his father was truly a mad man.  

Theo arrived home via floo from Diagon Alley and was met with the angry expression of his father, his mother was cowering in the corner, a fresh mark on her cheek and blood trickling down the corner of her small mouth. Theo immediately clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth together and making a fists out of both his hands which his father of course noticed.  

“Nice of you to finally join us, Theodore. Tonight is the night for you to receive the mark.”  

Theo heard his mother gasp and he closed his eyes as he heard her begin to object.  

“He is too young! We discussed this. That is your own business, but he is just a boy! Let him be a boy, for goodness sake. I have stood by for many things, but I refuse to stand by and let you force my son to become the follower of a madman and to turn him into a murderer!”  

Theo’s eyes flew open and he looked at his mother’s terrified ones. 

“Father, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Let us go.” Theo all but begged, he had never heard his mother speak against his father in such a way and knew the outcome would not be pretty. He had been privvy once to a deadly beating his father had given his mother, he had been 7 at the time and unable to stop it, he wouldn’t allow it to happen again but he also knew he wasn’t powerful enough to go against the dark magic running through his father’s veins. Not yet at least. Theo watched in horror as his father turned around, pointed his wand menacingly at his wife, and then muttered Avada Kedavra, a green light lit the room, and Theo watched the light leave his mother's eyes and she slumped to the floor. He knew better than to react, but he did anyways. He shouted and then ran towards her, but he was immobilized by ropes from his father’s wand.  

“Theo, theo theo.” he tsked as he came around to look into his eyes, Theo started hatefully into eyes that matched his own. His father shook his head and then made his worst fear come true when he pointed  his wand at him and whispered “Imperio. You will receive the mark. You will not react to the pain.”  

Theo woke up with a gasp and grasped the arm with his dark mark on it. He looked down in horror as he realized the mark was moving, and he felt like his arm was on fire. No, no, no. Not again. He couldn’t do this again, he would rather throw himself off the astronomy tower than go through being someone's puppet again and so Theo Nott decided that’s exactly what he would do. He rose to his feet and walked out of the Gryffindor common room, in a trance as he went towards the Astronomy Tower.  

Chapter Text

Hogwarts 

November 1998 

Harry POV: 

Harry woke up with a groan, he had fallen asleep in the worst position on a couch who was godric knew how old. However, he was faintly aware that that was not what woke him up. He couldn’t quite explain it other than he knew he needed to be up, just how he knew he needed to go to the Astronomy Tower. He hadn’t been back there since Dumbledore died but he somehow knew he had to go through. He barely held in a startled yelp when he looked over and saw Tom staring directly at him, a pained expression on his face. 

“Hurry. Astronomy Tower. Theo. Danger.” Tom gasped out in parseltongue, almost as if he was in a trance and then he passed out.

Harry stared at him for a brief moment and then immediately got to his feet, grabbed his wand off the couch. He leaned over to also grab Theo’s wand which had been left laying on his side of the sofa (honestly, how mental do you have to be to walk off and not grab your wand!). He jumped to his feet and ran as fast as he could out of the common room, barricading the portrait to keep Tom inside, and towards the Astronomy Tower.  He could find his way there with his eyes closed, he knew this castle like the back of his hand.  

Coming to the top of the stairs to the tower, he froze in place as the scene that was displayed before him. It was a full moon and there was a werewolf backing Theo to the edge of the tower.

Theo who had no way to defend himself, he didn’t have his wand and had barely escaped death a week ago and here he was again. Theo looked over his shoulder and saw Harry, his eyes went wide and he subtly shook his head back and forth. Harry clenched his jaw at being told to not intervene. Honestly, was this how everyone felt everytime he ran into danger without a second thought of his safety. If so, he suddently felt like Hermione and Ron were valid in the amount of times they wanted to ring his neck themselves because he was about ready to ring Theo’s.

How dare he just jump into danger like this. He doesn’t have a wand!  

“Lavender, dollface. I know that I am very pretty and smell even better but I promise you’d regret eating me. I know quite a few of your friends are fond of me and it would be a shame for them to be mad at you if you decide to eat me.” Theo stated firmly while holding his hands out, palm up, in front of him.

Harry did his best to hold in his surprise, as he remembers finding Lavender, carrying her broken and mulitated body, and helping to bury her. What the fuck is happening. How does everyone keep coming back? Who the fuck else is back!? Harry thought to himself as he carefully walked towards to the two that were getting closer and closer to the edge that his previous headmaster had falled off of.

Harry watched as Theo barely avoided the swipe of claws and a bite from the werewolf several times. Finally, he’d had enough and Harry managed to throw the werewolf acrosss the room with a flick of his wand, at the same time he muttered a sticking charm. He knew it wouldn’t hold her for long, so he rushed forward, grabbed Theo’s hand dragged him down the nearest coridoor and said a prayer that the werewolf would follow them and not try and make its way to the Gryffindor common room. Harry tried to not linger on why he suddenly cared if Tom Riddle remained breathing or not.  

“Wait! Through here!” Theo whispered abruptly and dragged Harry down several other hallways and then barricaded them into a small stone room. An old potion room of Professor Snapes if he had to guess. Harry levitated several large chests in front of the door to keep them inside.  

“Where are we?” Harry asked as he looked around at the different shelves lined with already made potions, ingredients, and books. Theo looked over and gave him a sad smile, almost as if the memory he was thinking of caused immense pain to his soul.  

“If I hadn’t taken your memories, you would remember. This was a place I used to come to to heal after going home for the holidays. One such holiday, the winter before I oblivated you, was especially rough. Father was pissed off, I mouthed off and that pissed him off more. When I came back to Hogwarts, I avoided you but you’re a sneaky bastard and followed me here. After all it was a room we were known to escape to. You refused to leave until I gave you rather vivid details of what had happened and then you demanded that I allow you to administer the potions and basically heal me back to health. You’re a rightful stubborn git, has anyone ever told you that?”  

“Why was he so much worse over this specific holiday? You told me didn’t I? And it was something I caused?” Harry asked, he couldn’t explain how he knew but he did. Theo winced at the question that Harry asked and then let out a deep sigh before scrubbing his hand over his face.  

“Someone saw us, or more so they saw the back of your head, didn’t see your face. However, it still got out that I was a raging homosexual and seen publicly snogging another boy. Pureblood bullshit and all isn’t really fond of the gays you see. So the moment I got home, he was on me immediately. By the time I came back from school, I was in bad shape so I came here daily. Snape kept potions to help with my pain as well as a potion made to replenish my body with all the nutrients I had lost from the starvation. Sadly there’s some bones that even a potion can’t heal and you just have to wait for them to heal naturally. We had been together long enough that you knew enough about my family that holidays weren’t a good time but I usually had healed myself up by the time we saw each other so you never really experienced how bad it was, not till that day anyways.”

Theo gave a shrug and then looked away from Harry as he went and settled himself on the floor against the wall opposite the side of the door. Harry had a war raging inside of him, he knew he should still be livid at Theo for what he had done but Harry couldn’t deny it any longer that he had dreams every night that were memories of the the time he was oblivated. He wasn’t sure how it was possible or how he knew, but he knew those were true memories. The most recent dream he had had featured a date with Theo followed by their first kiss and a hug that Harry felt down deep to his bones. He looked over at Theo who was on the floor and in mental and physical pain, but Harry needed to know why he had been on that tower. 

“Theo, why were you at the tower? What did you go up there for?”  
Theo let out a deep breath.  

“I had a nightmare. A memory actually of one of the worst nights of my life. I woke up and the m-mark was moving, Harry. It was moving and the pain in my arm was like I had just received it all over again. And-and I can’t do that again. I can’t be someone’s fucking puppet again. So I decided I wasn’t going to be.”  
Harry didn’t bother to try and stop the tear rolling down his cheek as he looked over to where his ex boyfriend remained sitting on the ground, “You were going to jump, weren’t you?” He whispered. Theo didn’t verbally respond but he did give a brief nod of his head, continuing to refuse to look at Harry. Something within Harry snapped, he’d been slowly being worn down. He could blame the memories presenting to him in his dreams and of simply existing around Theodore Nott. One thing was for sure, he couldn’t stand by while the wizard was in this level of pain. Harry stalked over to Theo, before making a decision he knew he might regret and lowered himself onto Theo’s lap, straddling his hips. 

Theo gasped at the contact and his head snapped up and eyes flew open meeting Harry’s green ones.  

“I’m glad you didn’t jump.” Harry stated softly before surging forward and hugging him so tightly it was as if they became one.  

Hogwarts

November 1998

Theo POV: 

Theo did his best to keep the groan inside his chest, it’d been far too long since he’d felt the weight of another on top of him. As much as he enjoyed spreading around the rumors that he was a whore, he was not one. Any physical experience of his choice that had happened, had been with Harry. The last person he had kissed had been Harry.

Theo almost thoght he was going to kiss him, but then he did the next best thing and wrapped Theo in a tight hug. He burrowed his face into Harry’s neck and inhaled. He really did try to resist, but couldn’t help himself when he licked up the column of Harry’s neck. It earned him a rewarding shudder and a gasp, Theo grinned into his neck as he breathed him in but did not go any further. He still couldn’t believe he had opened up about so much of his trauma to Harry. He still wanted to jump, but he wouldn’t. His mark still hurt and he knew it was still moving. 

“I can’t go through another war. When does it end?” Theo whispered into Harry’s neck, wrapping both arms around the other man’s waist and bringing their bodies closer together.  

Harry pulled back and sat up, looking at him before bringing a hand up and running it through Theo’s tousled hair. He let out a groan of pleasure as he fell into Harry’s hand, practically purring at how comforting it felt.  

“We won’t go through another one. I can’t either, Theo. The last one literally did kill me and it seems like I’ve got more than one reason to keep on living.” 

“What- What do you mean the last one killed you? You won. You defeated him. You’re alive.” Theo gasped out, praying to Salazar that he had misheared Harry. Surely someone would have told him if Harry had died, right? Harry continued to rub his hand through his soft locks and then he said a sentence that made him feel as if he was drowning.  

“I died, Theo. I thought someone would have told you. He hit me with an avada but it just killed the part of his soul living inside me so I was able to come back. I came back and then I killed him. “ Harry whispered softly. Theo inhaled sharply and felt the sting of tears as he thinks back to a time during the battle that he had felt like someone had ripped his heart from his chest. He had thought maybe he got hit with a weird spell or that he was having a panic attack. 

“May 2nd.” Theo whispered and Harry’s hand running through his hair froze. 

“How did you know?”  

“Felt it. Can’t explain it. I’ve known when you’re suffering. I’ve felt it and that day it felt like someone tore my bloody heart out of my chest. “ Theo muttered, pulling Harry close to him and burying his face in his neck once again causing Harry to shift his hips to a more comfortable position. He dug his fingertips into Harry’s hips as he bit back the groan that wanted to vibrate through his chest and then he froze as they both heard a howl in the night.  

“Reckon we’re going to be here for a while.” Harry whispered as he once again ran his fingers through Theo’s hair and made no movement to get up off his lap.  

“It would seem so.” Theo replied, letting out a deep sigh as he relaxed into the caress of the love of his life who couldn’t remember all the times they did exactly this in this very room after every holiday. Harry had no idea that way he had helped heal Theo both mentally and physically.  

The two of them ended up passing out exactly in this position while they listened to the rustling of the wind outside and the occasional howl of a lonely werewolf who didn't know what was happening to her.

Nearby in the Gryffindor common room, Tom Riddle dreamed of two wizards who both somehow made his soul sing and his world light up. 

Chapter Text

12 Grimmauld Place

November 1998

Regulus POV

Regulus Black knew he would surely regret showing up here, but alas he needed answers and he had missed Sirius’ birthday. Granted, he could have come and found him at any time but he had been busy with trying to navigate the world in in 1998 post war. He also sure had not left his brother on good terms and was not sure how his reaction would be, but he was done hiding. He looked around the street to make sure he was alone and then he apparated into the wards of his childhood home. He was met with a wand being pointed directly at his face while his bloody mother also screamed from her portrait about betryal.

“Would love to know who the fuck you are.” a witch with short dark hair, red lipstick, and an impressive looking resting bitching stated shortly. Regulus looked up and met her eyes and then saw the way she recgonized him.

“Bloody sodding hell.” She muttered before screaming down the hall, “Oi, you lot have brought another one back from the fucking dead.” and then she walked off while mumbling about how none of this was helpful.

Regulus tilted his head to side and then stepped back as he saw none other than Sirius skid around the corner.

He was older now, but looked close to the same as he had when they were in purgatory together. Regulus winced as Sirius shouted, fully expecting his big brother who he knew hated him to avada him on the spot.

12 Grimmauld Place

Sirius POV:

Remus had Sirirus pushed against the hallway wall by their bedroom and was sucking a mark right above his collar bone while Sirius in turn ground his hard length against Remus’ thigh.

“Remus.” He whined, begging for more of something. Of anything. He felt Remus grin against his neck in response and nip at his skin.

“Yes, pet? Is there something you need?“ Remus growled into his ear. Sirius was getting ready to beg for more when the distinct yell of Pansy shouting came from the entrance hall.

He looked quickly at Remus, adjusted himself, and then took off at a run through the hall. He could hear Remus shouting after him. Pansy passed by Sirius as he skidded to a halt around the corner and looking towards the door where he could have sworn he saw his dead little brother in an argument with that damned portrait of their mother.

Then the man at the end of the hallway turned and looked directly at Sirius and he took off in a dead run, because it was his brother. He ignored the look of terror on Regulus’ face and ran directly into him, he wrapped his arms around him and then went down to the floor in a pile of limps. Sirius had a very clear memory of the last time he saw Regulus and it was not a good memory. The last private conversation he had with him was when he begged him to go with him when he left home. After that all he could do was watch as his brother became a deatheater and then a newspaper is how he found out he was dead.

Much later, after a recent conversation with Harry – Sirius had found out that Regulus had been a spy the entire time and that he had died trying to destroy the locket. After what he had happened to Dumbledore, Harry knew exactly the death that Regulus had suffered and after much begging from Sirius, he finally confessed it. Sirius had cried for days and refused to exit his room, it had taken Remus becoming so angry from concern that snapped Sirius out of it. Now here he was, here his little brother was live and in the flesh. Not looking a day over 18.

“Reggie. Thank godric. I don’t care how, I’m just so happy it’s you.” Sirius breathed as he held his brother close to him, breathing in the scent that was just Regulus. He earned a groan of pain in response.

“You clearly are planning on ensuring you’re never an uncle.” Regulus wheezed out in pain, escaping Sirius’ arms and bent over breathing hard making Sirius realize he had accidentally nailed him in the balls with his knee when they went down.

He smiled sheepishly, “My bad, little brother. You’re back?”

12 Grimmauld Place

Regulus POV:

Regulus shrugged his shoulders in response and looked over at Sirirus, “Was in that purgatory like place with you, made sure you got out. I stayed low till I ended up at Pand-Luna's flat. Decided it was high time I visit home to see what the fuss was all abo--”

Regulus froze mid sentence, something unheard of because his attention was once again caught to the end of the hallway. Red hair, green eyes that could see straight into your soul, and oh boy did Lily Evans look pissed as hell.

“Does she know about Pan?” Regulus whispered quietly to Sirius and watched as his brother’s eyes lit up in surprise and he quickly shook his head. “Good. Keep it that way, in case we find her. Don’t look so surprised, who do you think pushed Pandora to give Lily a chance to begin with?”

“Reg. Uh. I don’t know how you tell you this.” Sirius began painfully, conveying a message to Lily with just a simple look. “ Lily Evans became Lily Potter in 1979 and had a child with James. It’s not what it sounds like though, I didn’t want you to hear it from one of Harry’s friends - ”

Regulus pulled back and looked in horror at Sirius as he realized that it’s possible his ex boyfriend was back from the dead and also married to the one girl he used to chase around the school. The fates had a twisted sense of humor. Regulus rose to his feet and started towards the door.

“Wait! Reg! There’s more to the story, it’s not so black and white.” Sirius breathe out hurridly, he was panicking.

“I shouldn’t have come. I’m glad you’re alive big brother.” Regulus replied and then he apparated out of his demonic childhood home that held nothing but painful memories and now also apparently housed James Potter and his happy little white picket fenced family. Regulus landed on the grave of his best friend, Barty Crouch Jr.

He found out from Luna that Barty had gone off the deep end and died before the end of the war. He was in an unmarked grave but of course Regulus’ goddaughter had the location.

He sat down and leaned his back against the headstone, playing with a ring he wore on his left hand. A silver ring featuring an engraving on the outside in the shape of antlers and on the inside inscribed was “In every life, I will find you.”

“Barty, mate, I miss you. I’m not sure why fate thinks to constantly play jokes on me but apparently I was allowed to come back from the grave and so did James Potter. And his fucking wife. yep that’s right. He married Lily. Of course he married Lily and had the perfect little family. Oh and Evan is back too, but he hasn’t spoken or been able to bring himself to eat or shower since I had to tell him that you were dead. It would be poetic I guess for Evan to be given a second chance at life just to end up starving himself to death because the love of his life went crazy and died. Honestly, Barty what the fuck. You were supposed to be different from your father and do better than us. Don’t you remember our deal to break these goddamn pureblood generational curses our families kept passing down?”

“My bad, Reg. Next time everyone decides to up and die on me I will do my very best to fight the unforgiveable curses cast upon me when my being a spy is discovered.” Barty drawled as he rounded a nearby tree and crouched down in front of his best friend.

12 Grimmauld Place

Remus POV:

Remus watched the car crash otherwise known as the two Black brothers go up in smoke, he wasn’t sure what had been said but Regulus looked like he had been stabbed painfully in the chest and Sirius was on the verge of tears as Regulus disappeared from the house. He grimaced as he watched Lily storm towards Sirius, clearly ready to fight Regulus about James but having missed her chance.

“What was said?” She demanded of Sirius.

“I. He. I told him that your last name was different. That you had a child with James and I was about to tell him what type of marriage it was but he left!” Sirius stuttered out, falling onto his back and rubbing his hands over his face.

Lily’s nostrils flared and she clenched and unclenched her fists as she began to pace back by Sirius’s form on the ground. Finally she stopped to face Sirius with her hands on her hips.

“You absolute cunt. Neither of you tell James he is back. Not till you fucking fix this or do you both not remember the way we almost lost James after Regulus died? Don’t forget that it was I who had to call for Sirius when James nearly jumped off the astronomy tower because it’s where he felt closest to Regulus. I don’t know that we can save him from himself a second time.” Lily angrily said before she turned around and stormed down the hallway.

Remus flinched as he heard the tell-tall sign of a door slamming. He was thankful that Blaise had dragged James to a nearby shop to buy some clothes since they had nothing here.

“Remus. I can’t lose then again. I just got them all back.” Sirius wept from the floor, curling into himself. Remus heaved a sigh and then carefully lowered himself to the ground, using his cane to help him, then he leaned over and coaxed his lover into his lap and rocked them back and forth.

“Hush now.It is all going to be okay,we’ll get him back and we’ll make sure he and James have a chance to speak. You were simply caught off guards. Padfoot, calm down before you make yourself ill. I have to go soon since it’s the full moon, but I don’t want to leave you like this.” Remus murmured into his hair, as Sirius continued to whimper. Suddenly , instead of a human man in his lap, there was a large black dog that whined pitifully as he nudged his cold nose against Remus’ cheek.

”Should have known you would come with. Very well, let’s go to the warded room that Harry set up.” Remus stated as he slowly walked down the hall. Sirius trailed behind him in his padfoot form, ready to help the love of his life survive another full moon.