Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hey sir, are you allowed to do that?”

Kamodon had seen all kinds of people in the capital over the years, but this was the first time he had seen such power first hand.

“Allowed to do what?” Subaru asked confused on why him holding hands with his two beautiful little girls would seem problematic.

Unless you were Ram, but Ram is Ram.

“…” he have a glance to the dark blue haired girl on this man’s right, and to the blonde haired girl with strange eyes to the left “I feel like I should call the guards.”

“The gua- I AM A KNIGHT MYSELF!!”

“Oh Dragon you have an entire group of these?” He whispered in disgust, thinking how this man in power used his position to torment girls of that age.

“Why you!!!”

“Oniii-san, I told you it would look bad.” Meili reprimed the “adult” of the trio for the idea.

“I don’t care looking bad if I can hold you hand Meili. Also, why don’t you start saying Dad, instead of Onii-san?” He said with pleading eyes.

“But Onii-san, I didn’t agree on that yet.” She said pouting her cheeks. This action however made Subaru smile only brighter, yet, she said yet. She didn’t reject the offer.

“Oh so they are your two daughters?” The man said relieved “Sorry then, I misread the situation.”

“Betty’s not Subaru’s daughter, she is a great spirit, in fact.”

“Yeah they are my pride and joy.” He said with a relieved smile, unbothered by the remark.

“Don’t ignore me, I suppose!!!”

Subaru kept ignoring her “What about you sir, you have a daughter yourself don’t you?”

“Yes, and she grows up so fast everyday, it makes me so proud and so sad at the same time.” Kamadon said looking apparently in the void, but he was visualising only how more beautiful his little Plum became in these years.

“Tell me about it. In this last month I had to  teach this little princess.” He raised the hand holding Meili’s. “How to write. Even with all that I have to do every day as Emilia-tan’s knight, it was still the highlight of my days.”

“Being a father is the greatest of pains and greatest of satisfactions at the same time, after all. Eheheh” he broke into a heartfull laugh to which Subaru followed.

“Ehehehe-Uh? What’s up Beako?” Suddendly Subaru was broken out by his discussion when he noticed his n.1 Loli was looking at him with an analysing look.

“Betty does not know what her contractor is talking about, in fact. He is simply getting lost in these trivials discussions, I suppose.” She quickly turned away, negating al the accusations.

Both Subaru and Meili looked confused but shrugged it off. If they payed attention they would have noticed how she seemed to have breathed out in relief.

Meanwhile in a near rooftop

The most beautiful, and currently stressed out, red haired of the kingdom also breathed out in relief. He immediately run to the place once his “Warning! Subaru Natsuki met the Seller of Appas!” divine protection activated, but it seemed no checkpoint had been triggered this time around.

He could go back to his routine.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

The Crusch-Felt-Emilia camps were currently on a mission to seize the organization of the so called ‘Mama’, apparently this person was the Archbishop of Lust, Capella Emeralda Lugunica, killer of the previous Royal family and of Prince Fourier, and someone who tormented for years Meili Portroute, the soon to be adopted daughter of Natsuki Astrea Subaru and Emilia, without counting the countless of others she was doing this to every day.

So, as you can guess, it was personal for everyone involded.

Many teams were in movement going to their assigned positions from which they shall strike, but that will take time and communication.

“So how long before you reach the position Rein?” Subaru said while holding a metia that allowed him to communicate directly with Rein’s team.

“Just a few minutes, but it’s still a long way before Felt-sama send the signal to strike so there is still plenty of time.”

“I know, I know…” anyone talking to him could see how much anxiety he was carrying, this Archbishop had hurt the people close to him like very few have done, he dreading to put he six feet underground.

“-sigh- Just don’t be reckless Ototo. Neither Emilia-sama or Meili-san would be happy to see you get hurt during this mission.”

“Low blow, Reinhard. Low blow…” he said sighing before closing the Metia.

“Betty’s Subaru should pick a decision, I suppose.” Currently she was the only one with her contractor, their objective was a sneaky infiltration so their team was composed of only them two so that they could infiltrate using their special spells.

“A decision?” he asked confused.

“A decision on if he wants to keep pretending he hates being called Ototo, or to be open about his appreciation of the title, I suppose. You already are quite the tsundere about your relationship with the spirit knight, it would be tiresome to see it happen with the sword saint too, in fact.”

“Beako!! Don’t kill my mainly pride like that!!”

“Ehehe, nothing evades the eyes of the Great Spirit Beatrice, I suppose.” She put her hands on the hips stating so with pride. “Although…”

“Although what?”

“Betty does not see why you hold the Sword Saint in so high regard, I suppose. He has always been an inferior hero compared to you.” Both her experience in the theatre and in the real world showed her only how much any hero of Lugunica kept falling behind the achievements of her contractor.

“Beako c’mon don’t be rude.” He scolded her for her attidude towards him.

“Betty is only stating the truth.”

He looked at her slighty disappointed by her attidude, so he choose to use this remaining time and try to make her see what he saw in him while they walked “You see, I learned a few things after being welcomed in their family…”

“Man you are always so talkative when you are with that guy.” An ex bandit, Rachins Hoffman says.

With Reinhard there were currently four people Rachins, Gaston, Camberley and the old man Rom, all from the Felt Camp.

Reinhard role was simple, pass through what was the front door to attract attention, the other four would stay behind and capture anyone trying to escape that doesn’t try to face Reinhard, though in the end they will probably be spectators, if the plan ends well.

“That’s right, I am very proud of him being my little brother.” Reinhard took the teasing with a bright smile, unusual for the Sword Saint, but tipical when it came to his relationship with Subaru.

The trio of criminals react with a -bleah- at his unusual expression, but Rom approaches with interest.

“Everyone from the camps in one way or another talk about him, is he still the strange kid of that day at the loothouse?”

“He is a unique companion, that’s for sure.” Reinhard can’t help but chuckle at the description.

“Tell me more, I am curious.” The old man says with a smile “He is from beyond the waterfall from what I have heard. It’s a rumor that started after the attack in Priestella of the Archbishops a few months ago.”

“Yes, it was at the time that we… learned more about Subaru, and we got closer to him.”

“Yes, I remember Felt acting strange for a period after returning from the city.”

Rein nods in a strange way in which Rom spot some uneasiness “That was the start of us welcoming him in our family so that he would have a safe space, since we discovered that his arrival from the great Waterfall was… less than ideal.”

“Reinhard’s childhood wasn’t easy, heck it was basically non existent. After the death of his grandma he grew up alone, without a mother, and with Heinkel and Wilhelm that kept treating him like a monster. He didn’t even have friends of his age, and for the hundreds of members of the staff in his mansion, not one ever approached him or tried to break him out of his clear isolation.”

“Imagine that, you are living your life, filled with the greatest of love in the world and suddendly you have lost everything, every relationship you built doesn’t matter anymore, everything you thought you knew about the world, doesn’t matter anymore. You, might not matter anymore. Think how that might make you feel small and useless.”

“He could tear this world apart, he would have every right and motivation to do so. He has the backstory where everyone treats him like a monster, so why not prove them right? He was never taught what love is, why he should fight for it? He has the power to move heaven and earth, so why not rule them?”

“He could leave us all, at any moment, and we couldn’t blame him. He should be angry, or depressed, or willing to let the world go over without the need to act. We are not his world, we are not his people, we are not the family that taught him what he shares with the world so many times. I won’t say in respect for his privacy, but bad things, horrible things, have happened to him, nothing that should make you think his lifestyle is one worth the struggles he faces.”

“And instead he picks up his sword every day, even with the guilt that thing carries, he still chooses to fight knowing it’s the decent thing to do.”

“And instead he open himself, he let others see how flawed he can be, while at the same time making everyone someone important to him. Someone worth living with.”

“I can’t just stand by when something happens. I found so many people in this world to love. I wouldn’t be able to sleep the night if something happened to any of you. I had to fight for all of us. He had every choice, and he still walks foward even knowing he can’t save everyone.”

“I was taught what my family did in history, I had a mission to fullfill, a purpose to follow in life. He doesn’t owe anything to anyone, and he still does the impossible and beyond, even knowing that the rewards won’t equal a fraction of the sacrifices he will carry.”

“Everyone wish they were a fraction, of what he manages to be.” Subaru comments with a smile, thinking what great beacon of security his new big brother is.

“Everyone wish they were as strong as him.” Reinhard says with absolute certainty, because it’s what he thinks himself every day, but not out of desperation, but out of respect, and promise to be better.

“So? That’s nothing compared to Betty’s Subaru will power, I suppose.” The great spirit wasn’t moved by her contractor’s speech.

“C’mon Beako, don’t diminish what I just said about Rein like that.” Some brotherly instinct formed in him to defend the fellow knight, he will need to scold his spirit later, but right now he just had one thing to add. “You see, at the end of the day it’s simple really-“

“Sure but in battle he is not great.” Rachins commented drirly, earning an angry smack in the back of the head from Rom, who was deeply invested in the narration.

Reinhard commented with a small chuckle and smile forming on his lips, which acknowledged that as a truth, but it showed he knew something more ”Sure, but it doesn’t matter in the end, because the truth is-“

“He is just a better man that I am.”

Chapter Text

“Are you comfortable Subaru?”

Currently the man was standing in his favorite position, on a lap pillow given from Emilia.

“Eh, pretty decent, it’s only the finest of pillows in existence.” He said teasingly.

“Dummy.” She commented with a smile while she run her fingers through his hair.

The two just came back from one of their dates in their free day. It was currently getting late with the Sun outside going down.

“Days like these are so rare lately…” Emilia mused thinking how many challenges they had to face lately.

“Well it’s not days like these are also uneventfull, this manor is slowly becoming a circus.” He commented dryrly, thinking back how this day almost got ruined by the shenanigans of the others, even the more diligents like Sylphy and Petra could came out with the most unespected subplots.

“I have no idea what a sirkus is, but I feel like it’s accurate for how the others behave like buffoons sometimes.”

“Who even says buffoon on this day and age.”

“Well, at least I don’t use words from another world, mister.”

“Alright aliright that’s fair. -Groan- We will have to fix our vocabolary before Meili starts following our bad habits.”

“I don’t see the problem in that.” She adds while she pats his cheeks and hair lovely “I think every time she becomes more like you she gets a little bit happier and a little bit more expressive.”

Subaru knew the risks of a child feeling to similar to his parent, but he couldn’t deny the proud feeling he has every time she adopts one of his mannerisms.

“I don’t say this often, but I am sure we are doing a great job with her, despite how complicated things usually get.” He said with a proud pathernal tone.

“Me too. And yet, somehow nuisances like this didn’t stop you from wanting other girls.” She playfully smacked him in the head as “punishment”.

“Yeah, I guess I can be a pretty big pain in the ass myself sometimes.” He says with an ironic smirk.

This comment however strucks the elf-girl for a fraction of a second, making her face show a clear sign of hurt that she hides immediately after.

“Emilia-tan?” He asks in his usual tone, full of care and worry.

“It’s nothing Subaru, just a stupid thought, you shouldn’t worry about it.”

“Emilia.” He takes her hand with his own, bringing it closer to his face to make her feel the warmth and determination in his tone “Don’t hide things like I used to do. Tell me.”

“It’s just… that last comment.”

“A pain in the ass?”

“Yes it reminded of when you called me that…” she said with a gloomy tone.

“Back at the sanctuary? Was I too offensive?” He said trying to figure out what he did wrong “I am sorry if-“

“Subaru.” She interrupted him, in one of these rare times where she used an icy tone on him. “You are not at fault here, it’s a problem of mine.”

He stood there in silence, listening and waiting for her to pour out her problem.

“I used to think that since you said that, since you were willing to be honest with me, that you were willing to let me act as I wished, but to also push me when I wasn’t moving by my self, then I was someone worthy fighting for, someone worth loving, so I looked back at that discussion with a smile. But now I can only think how much you got hurt because of my inability to act in these days, how you will be forever scarred, and for how long I made you feel alone and replaceable because I was incapable of being anything else more than a useless witch -mph-“

When it was clear her rambling became a self-loathing speech Subaru got up from her lap to silence her with a deep and comforting kiss. Despite her feeling of inadequacy of deserving this comfort she let herself drown in it, until he broke the kiss and looked at her in the eyes directly.

“Emilia-tan, you are not any of these things and you didn’t make me feel any of these things.”

“Subaru stop denying how much I have hurt you, you know I hate it when you act like it’s all fine when it’s not.”

“Look, you screwed up, I screwed up, heck even Reinhard and Julius can and will screw up half of the time, but you didn’t do it with the intention of hurting me. At the end of the day we can both be a pain in the ass sometimes, it’s part of the deal of when you fall in love with someone. That thought you had of being proud of having an argument? It’s ok, it’s a good thing to feel, because it means we crawled through something that seemed impossible and came out victorious. Maybe it’s true, there were times where you didn’t help me in the right way, but I can’t help but feel at ease, feel complete when I am with you. You are my happiness, the brightest of the stars in the world.” He cupped her face with his hands “In all the worlds I know, and in any of the lives I could ever get.” before sealing his love with another gentle and perfectly loving kiss.

Only the silence and their breath on each other filled the room for a few seconds, before Emilia answered with another kiss herself.

At first it seemed like all was well, until she started going on the offensive and Subaru was forced to distanciate himself from her to breath.

“Ok, ok, Emilia, I am happy to know you received my messag- uh?”

Suddendly Subaru found himself thrown on the bed from the superstrenght of his girlfriend.

“ -Uouh- E-Emilia-tan?”

“Oh no, mister, you can’t say all of that and expect to walk away freerly.” She took off his shirt as first thing “I reaaaally need to make you happy now, or I will regret it.”

“Emilia c’mon, there is no need to-”

In her rush of emotions she unlocked her bra next.

“•_• Excellent argument.”

Chapter Text

Current location, one of the buildings of the Hoshin company.

Why is that? Currently there was a meeting between the various camps to valutate one of the new products from beyond the Waterfall brought in this world by Natsuki Subaru.

Until now these show offs, where limited between the Emilia and the Anastasia camps, however by sheer luck, the camps were currently all in the capital for different quests, so why not invite them all to observe, and maybe be free advertisment, for the new product?

“Another good day indeed.” Anastasia sighed with a smile on her face.

“What was that Anastasia?”

“Nothing Natsuki-kun, just thinking about business, but please, continue.”

Subaru Natsuki shrugged his shoulders and continued to set up the rudimentary (by our standards) projector. He had already brought in this world a photographic camera, which led to some questionable exchanges that would sometime make Crusch blush like a tomato, so the next step was obvious.

“I warn you already, this thing works but is highly impractic to use, it will hardly even have a fraction of the last product’s success.”

“Don’t worry Natsuki-kun, I am sure we will find a way.”

“Let’s just get this over with.” Priscilla said with a bored tone, she came only because both Schult and Al had begged her to make them see what these innovations were

“Oh c’mon, I am sure it will be fun.” Felt was the exact opposite, she wanted to see more of her big bro world, her knight Reinhard shared the same sentiment.

“Ok then, lights!” at his command the maids and butlers of the room pulled the curtains of the windows leaving the room in a state of darkness.

“Oooooh so that’s a movie projector.” The knight with one arm who was wearing an helmet exlaimed surprised after finally connecting the dots.

“Yeah what did you think it was?”

“…a nuclear bomb?” he said with a tone of honesty.

“What?” Subaru said bewillered losing all his color.

“Ohi make a better design next time, pal!”

“Silence Aldelbaran!” she struck her knight with the fan.

“Movie Projector?” For Emilia, Anastasia, Wilhelm and almost everyone else, the wheels in the head started to run and remember “Isn’t that what there was in the cine-.”

“Ok so, I have filmed a bunch of things, going from the city to the wild life, in that case Meili helped me by using her divine protection to command some Mabeast. Let’s start with the first thing.” He clicked a button and the device started making sounds.

When the projector finally illuminated the room, everyone noticed that it was the same technology that they witnessed in the theatre. So it seems that the Warden was a being that knew Subaru’s world, fascinating, hopefully this would be a more relaxing experience.

The first thing that Subaru showed them was a video of a training camp for knights, the camera was still, watching an arena, but it showed enough of both the knights changing the armors, and some on the platform in the middle of fight practice. A detail that was clearly visible, was a knight getting his ass kicked by a clearly more experienced co worker.

Seeing that particular Julius and Emilia remembered the fight back at the capital, and how they left Subaru alone and powerless against the Witch’s Cult, while he was at his worst mentally.

The second thing was a view through a window, that showed the interior of a bar, where people wher chatting, drinking and eating. A great example of common life with people going in and out. What attracted everyone’s attention was the moment where a guy who had drank far too much, ended up falling from his seat, bringing the meat and sauce on his stomach, getting himself dirty. The craziest part was that the person didn’t care, and he started laughing like an histerical person, to the point that he was rolling on the ground.

Such an ugly sight. Ugly, and especially uncomfortable, how he was rolling on himself exactly like a person that was fighting to keep his guts inside after he had been stabbed by the gut hunter.

The third and last thing that the video showed them, was an extract of wild life, though Subaru specified how all the mabeast had received orders from Meili to act like that. The beasts at first all moved in front of the camera, almost like they had been domesticated for years, showing them taking care of the little ones, resting, cleaning each other with the tongues, and other activities that would change from animal to animal. Until the hunting started.

A true wonder of technology how this could allow to study the wild life, how you could see the life drain from the body of the preys on the screen, losing limbs only to end up being eaten alive, if the hunter was cruel enough.

After that the video ended.

“So? How was it?” Subaru said with a hint of pride for the quality of the videos “I bet you are all astonished by the genius of my wor-“

“I will pay you myself just to not release this if I have to.” Anastasia said scared out of her goddamn mind.

“Huh?”

“Forgive me, I need to use the bathroom…” Julius muttered an excuse before leaving.

“My divine self commands you to not release this.”

“Pardon?”

“Subaru-dono, that was of poor taste.” Crusch commented to her man with a tone so cold that it made his blood froze.

“Crusch-san? What did I do no-ouch-“ his panic was interrupted by his cheeks being pulled.

“SUBARU YOU DUNDERHEAD!!” a teary Emilia saw abusing his boyfriend as a more than fit punishment.

The whole room just left with sore expressions, disappointment (and an excuse for alcoholism) while the poor man screamed in pain “WHYYYYYYYYY????”

Chapter Text

“Ehi, you jerk.”

“What’s the matter Subaru?”

Julius turned to see Subaru approaching him on his dragon earth Patrasce.

“Nothing. It’s just that beyond your usual self pretentious asshole energy, you also had self pretentious ‘this world is shit’ energy, so I thought someone should have made the sacrifice to talk to you.”

“It’s nothing really.” The finest of knights tried to dismiss the pressure of his friend.

“Look the journey until this Pledias tower is long, might as well say something instead of having a groomy face all of the time, and I can assure you that my best girl Patrasche here, will take whatever secret you spill to the grave.” He said proudly as he patted his dragon’s head.

Julius mused on Subaru’s words, it would take at least one month, from Mathers’ domains, to reach the tower in search of the sage to help Priestella’s victims, and who knows the challenges that shall await them there.

Sighing Julius admitted to himself that it wasn’t a bad idea, especially since he still hadn’t the chance to clear the air with the man before him about the revelations that occured before the city, they also were currently on their ground dragons, distant from the rest of the group and their spirits were sleeping, so it was a rare moment of privacy to not let go to waste.

“Subaru, do you think I am a reliable person?”

Subaru looked at him confused, of all the people he knew he was the last one to expect such words from “What do you mean?”

“I have been reflecting on much that is the basis of my life in the last days, how knights do help people, how we protect this country, how we help its people, and overall on my role as a knight. I considered myself, unacceptable.”

“?”

“We have been slothfull, overall greedy, and wrathfull towards those that had been critical of us. Leaving often those that trusted our judgment alone, those like you.”

Subaru took a moment to register the last insinuation, this was the confirmation that Julius knew too, and it forced him to accept how different things would be from now on.

“When we first met I wanted to see what you meant to do, there was passion and genuinity in your words, despite your lesser judgment, but I did not act accordingly to what would have been morally right, I acted following what would have been right for the word of the law. Two things, that after the last days, I can say rarely coincide. I should be a symbol, a symbol of what the knights stand for, of what my liege stand for, I should be the voice of change, since I know how hard life is for the common people, and instead I did nothing, drowing in my sense of satisfaction. As if that wasn’t enough, when the archbishops attacked I barely survived my fight against Gluttony, and I couldn’t even protect my brother, who I no longer remember. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even know what happened.” A flicker of conflicting emotions were reflected on his expression after this last remark “And when it comes to you, I feel like we are all pieces on a table, unable to act until we follow the correct instructions, without the ability to change our own fates, if not for sacrifices that come from outside the system, showing how everything is so fragile.”

He ended his long speech with a big breath “What do you say?”

Subaru looked at his fellow knight in complete silence for many seconds, collecting and elaborating his thoughts before exclaiming “Wow… Is that how I look?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said, do I look that pathetic when I say what I think about myself? Because if that’s how it is, then I pray to god I will never have to speak to anyone else, because I have no idea how anyone could tollerate a sight so ugly.”

“Subaru, that’s no way to-“

“Shut! Up!” Subaru pointed a finger to Julius with a full accusatory tone and look that made the knight swallow his words “Pieces on a board, unable to change our destiny, drowing in satisfaction. Julius, as your friend, I forbid you from EVER talking about yourself like that, do you hear me?”

“I merely stated the truth of the state of things.” Julius notes in a defensive tone, it was rare for Subaru to be so aggressive that’s for sure.

“No you didn’t, you didn’t speak the truth of how things are, because you have understood absolutely nothing of who. I. am.” The anger and tone in the last words was so aggressive that he nearly spit in the face of his companion.

“I merely stated what you have accomplished compared to us knights in the last centuries.”

“Do you see me as a person?”

“What? Of course I do.” After all he had seen, how could he think of him as anything different from a human being?

“I don’t think you do, or you wouldn’t think that I am the one that fixes these things.”

“But you have-“

“I have no idea, what or when or how you guys saw me, but if I have even the most remote idea about what it is, then you should know, that the things I can do alone equal to exactly less than nothing. Why do you think I treasure each one of you the way I do? Because everyone helped make me.”

Julius looked absolutely astonished by this remark, in the theatre everyone lived the assumption that they all had been reason of the scars of Nastuki Subaru, of what risked so many times to shatter his sanity, and here he was talking about it as if it was a reason of pride?

“When I feel lost, I think of Emilia-tan as my north star. When I feel down, I think of Rem-rin encouraging words. When I feel unfocused, I think of when Otto told me to man up. When I need support, I ask Beako. When I think of strenght, I think of Reinhard. When I think of what others can do that I can’t, I think of Felix and his knowledge. When I think of you- well you got the idea.” He took a big exhale to calm down “I am not a miraculous variable jackass, I can make it work out most of the time because we are all the goddamn equation. It’s not something that I have realised, it’s something that had to be told, screamed and instilled in this dunderhead” He said knocking on his own head, home of the most stubborn brain that ever existed. “so many times that I have lost count, so tell me, what’s so different from the fact that you are feeling lost right now?”

And it’s in this moment that Julius Juukulius realized, or by this man’s words, he remembered again, the true strenght of Natsuki Subaru, the way he would march towards his destination with others, he wouldn’t do it alone, because he had learned one year ago, how life shouldn’t be lived by carrying the burden of others just because you care for them, how no one is the ideal version of oneself, we are all people at the end.

“And how do you start to convice youserlf of this strenght? Of this ability to be something?” he asked in search of confirmation of the idea of what he was beggining to understand.

“You put your feet one after the other, because we know the feeling of staying still is much, much worse, than whatever shit destiny will throw at you.”

The spirit knigh couldn’t help but chuckle “Yes that’s true, that’s definetely the mindset that will suit the most.” He looked at his friend with a tired but relieved expression “You did help clear my mind a little, for that I offer you my thanks.” He said slighty bowing his head

“Forget it, after all the most troublesome part you will have to do it yourself, trust me.” He dismissed the gratidude waving his hand, though a faint blush for the compliment was still evident on his face.

This reaction only made Julius smile in amusement, and finally made him relax too for what had been effectevely, weeks.

Chapter Text

“But obviously, when me and Otto were ready to run for our lives, we realise we are missing one member of the group, Garfiel was nowhere to be seen.”

“Rem has a bad feeling about this.”

“And you would be right, Rem-rin, because when we turn to look back from the carriage, we find out he is running straight towards that thing.”

“Oh Garf-kun…” Rem didn’t know if being emphatetic or facepalm for her old friend tendecies.

“In conclusion nothing out of the normal, water is wet, grass is green and Ram’s steamed potatos are the best dishes in the world. You should tell us more compelling tales Barusu.”

“Give me time nee-sama, the building of the narrative takes time.”

“Yes nee-sama, Subaru-kun is building towards something great, I know it.”

“Ah! Just because three idiots are visiting the home city of the less idiot of the three doesn’t mean the intellect level of the journey will arise anytime soon, but since Ram’s adorable little sister seems to have fun I will allow this to continue.”

Currently the three people, plus the great spirit Beatrice, were seated inside the wagon in the travel towards the Pledias tower, and Subaru was narrating stories that happened this last year to the blue haired maid, to update her on everything she had lost. Currently he was talking about that one time him, Garfiel and Otto went to visit the latter’s family, both to tell her what Garf, who was still an old friend of Rem, had lived outside of the Sanctuary, and because a chance to trash talk his bros shall never be ignored, the bro code states so.

But before Subaru could continue someone knocked on the window.

Ram opened the window and found out the knocker was Julius Juukuliuns.

“I am sorry if I have interrupted anything, but I am merely announcing that we just choose that in an hour we will stop to eat and then sleep.”

“Understood.”

“Thank you Juukuliuns-sama.”

“All clear, I suppose.”

“Good, now don’t interrupt anymore before I finish the story, gotcha?” Subaru said annoyed.

“The story?” Julius looked inside the window analysing what was happening, who was talking to who, and who was close to who “Oh I see…” he gave a peculiar smile after the last observation.

“What’s with that smile creep? Stop peaking in the ladies private room.”

“Barusu you know that would make you too a pervert.”

“But nee-sama I have been invited here by Rem herself. Are you going to deny one of her request?”

“Fair enough. I will allow Barusu’s proposition to pass this one time.”

The grin on Julius face got even wider

“I said go away, pervert!!” Subaru stated before slamming shut the window.

Currently it was late night many of the companions had been going to sleep, if not for a few, one of which was Subaru, who was admiring the stars in the sky, as someone with an astrology passion like his, he couldn’t ignore any chance to look at the stars of another world.

Suddendly from near him approached the finest of knights.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Rem-san or Emilia-sama?”

“I had heard you were a storical nerd, but since when you are also a shipping nerd?”

“I would be a what?”

“Forget it.” He said with a grin of victory, he managed to make Julius break his attidude even for a second. “Who do you take me for? Just because me and Emilia-tan are a couple now doesn’t mean that I want to monopolize her private time.”

“That’s surprisingly knightly of you. I assumed that you were just too embarassed to take the initiative now.”

“What? Who are you? Cut the bullshit, and give me back Mr. stick-in-the-ass Julius.”

“Don’t you mean Mr. Your Friend Julius?”

“-groan- You are never letting this down right?” he rolled his eyes and faced palmed remembering what he had said to him just a couple of days ago “While instead, Nee-sama has been very possessive of Rem, it’s the whole reason why she came here with us in the first place, I would move heaven and earth if they were between me and Rem-rin. But Ram? I am not brave enough for that.”

“I think very few would be capable of such task.” He commented with an ironic expression, after all Subaru had moved many things to save Rem’s before, evem facing Ram’s fu-

“That!” Subaru pointed to his companion with his finger “What is that?”

“Uh?”

“That smile that is a mixture of shit-eating, satisfaction, relief, and something more that I can’t comprehend. You give the creeps. What is that?”

“Why would I eat sh-“

“Don’t change the subject idiot. You had this strange smile all evening long, I saw it go back and forth all the time during dinner while I talked to the others. What is the cause? Some sickness of this country that I should be aware of?” he said while comically backing down from Julius.

“It is no sickness. It’s just me expressing my appreciation of what I consider the right tale.”

“What tale? The tale of the sand in this desert making life unbearable?” they were entering the desert, and Subaru swore he could feel the sand everywhere, from his mouth, to the shoes and even inside the underwear.

The knight exhaled in disappointment “It’s nothing really, you should forget about it.”

“C’mon, you either spill it now, or I will punch you every time I see you give strange looks or I hear you mutter something under your breath.”

 “…alright then. In my modest opinion, you should have picked Rem-san.”

The embarassing silence that followed was so astonishing that Subaru could hear the whispers of the wind, the rolling of the tumbleweed, and the sound of the crickets in the background.

“What?”

“First of all I mean no disrespect to Emilia-sama, she has shown again and again that she is an incredible person. However, when it comes to how your experiences in our world went, it’s undeniable how you were much closer to Rem-san in body and spirit during your hardest times.“

“Fucking pardon?”

“You can’t deny the sparks that were between you two, and I think you would be rather foolish to not pursue them.”

Now Subaru went from disbelief to having veins popping out his head.

“I did choose Rem, she is the one that refused me first!! And I am literally still choosing her today!! What the fuck did y’all think happened to me that day?!? And me and Emilia-tan got closer in our own way during the last year, since I am literally her knight!”

“I understand that, however-“

“However, you are still bitchless, and I have two girlfriends!! So I win the argument by default!!”

Chapter Text

“So when is Felt coming?” Subaru asked the man, or rather giant, before him.

“I don’t know.” Rom, the old veteran said shrugging his shoulders.

“Man that girl is something else, organising this meeting for who know what reason and then arriving here late. I have no idea how you managed to raise her all alone.”

“I also have no idea.” He said shaking his head with a fond smile “How is the lunch?”

Currently the two of them were in the old lair of the duo, the place where Subaru Natsuki had his first deadly battle(s). They had been called here by Felt for who knows what reason, but since she was incredibly late, Rom choose to cook something for the young knight who was sitting on the counter.

“Pretty good. You are better cook than expected.” He says as he takes another bite of his steak, adorned with a juicy sauce.

“Ohoho, it warms my heart to receive a compliment on this new skill, maybe I should fully retire from war strategy and transform this place into a restaurant.” You could tell he was old by the fact that he casually talked about pensionistic plans.

“Isn’t this district inhabited by the worst of the worst?” the man asked doubtful, not wanting such an idilliac place to get robbed every day by criminals and scum.

“It can easily be a neutral territory where everyone gets to rest. The products I used are all locals, so I can see the economy running without problem.”

“Really? Because they are pretty good. Especially this warm beer.” He said chuging the full mug “It has a strange taste and consistency, but it also tastes really good.” He didn’t remember when he started drinking alchol, but he had to admit it was pretty good, though, it had a familiar taste.

“I know, tastes like iron.”

“Exactly! Just like iron!” though a doubt did raise “Wait why would beer taste like iron?” but he didn’t give it much of a thought “Anyway, could you tell me how it’s called? I have an active alcholic friend, I am sure he would love it.” Maybe for once he would be a good friend to Otto.

“You are a bad friend, boy.” Rom openly judged the knight for his attics in how to support his friend.

“Oh c’mon, as if you and your war buddies never drank with each other until passing out.” Let’s be honest, no old person was actually carefull in their youth.

“Touché, I can’t defend myself from that. AHAHAHAHA-“

“AHAHAHAHAH” the two explode together in a heartfull laughter.

“AHAHAH- ehehe… anyway. Let me check how this beer is called.” The giant takes the empty bottle to see its name. While he checks neither him or Subaru hear that someone entered the house, it must be Felt “It’s called, ‘Blood, it’s my blood’.”

“Eh?” Subaru looked bewillered, who would ever name a drink with that na-?

“Ara~Ara, what are you doing with them?” a voice of a mature woman sounded from the entrance, not a voice belonging to Felt or anyone friendly that the two knew.

If the boy was bewillered before, now looking at the woman before him he was completely pale.

“E-E-E-Els-“

“I said what are you doing with them?” the bowel hunter cut him off, methaphorically, before he could continue “I asked you to take care of them and instead you are spilling them all over your plate. Those poor bowels.”

“W-What the hell are you on?” Subaru looked at what was before him on the counter, what was before a well cooked steak, was now raw bowels. HIS raw bowels, pending from the stomach.

“AAAAA-Ghg!!” He didn’t even get to scream, because suddendly he was choking in blood, his own blood.

He loses all his strenght falling head first into the counter, with the trail of his twiching eyes he sees that Rom has become suddendly a motionless body, except for one detail, the arm that was severed  out of nowhere, was pouring blood in the beer mug.

“Thank you for the drink.” Elsa reached the counter and drank the mug full of blood in one go, while Subaru went completely limp falling on the floor, on his back, trying to keep his guts inside.

After finishing her drink, her lips are now crimson with falling drops of blood, she put herself on her knees to examinate her old-new victim.

“Ara~Ara look at those poor things, I never saw guts so badly hurt. You are a reaaally bad owner.” She commented seeing how this man commited acts of self cannibalism. New even for her.

Not that Subaru could hear anything, he had blood filling every part of his body, with only confusion of what was happening, and shame for his impotence, running through his mind.

“But I want to see how it’s the rest, this is only the surface after all. Well then, since you don’t seem to mind.” She cut his abdomen to open it a little more, to pull out the rest of the bowels that were intact.

“AAAAAAAHHHH!!” despite the blood in his throath, Subaru’s pain was so big he could scream through it.

“Just a liiiittle more. I just want to give it a better check.”

“AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!” the digger she went, the more the pain, the more the feeling of being crushed drowned him.

“Be a good boy.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” he screamed trying to run away from the torture, to run away from the pathetic state in which he found himself, and to run away from the feeling of oppression, but more than that he screamed because he didn’t hear himself scream, almost as if he was dead, with no pillar to feel life, to feel the world around him.

Nothing.

Except when suddendly, he was touched by four arms, two strong belonging to a blue haired woman, and two tiny ones belonging to a small girl.

“Subaru-kun, it’s ok. You are safe here. You are awake. You are safe.” The maid puts an hand on his forehead to use her magic to cool him down.

“Subaru, please stop, let Betty and Rem help you, I suppose. Please.” She starts pulling mana from his body, to make sure he doesn’t have the strenght to throw himself over the phantom pains.

He looked around him, he was in his bed, with Beatrice and Rem comforting him, like every other night. Like every time he woke up from a nightmare. He was having, just, a nightmare. He wasn’t living it again.

He wasn’t dying again.

“B-B-Beako? R-R-R-R-“ he still so much scared, that he can barely talk.

“Don’t force it, I suppose. Let Betty do her work.” She said as she kept casting her healing magic, she had kept casting it for almost an hour by now, trying to heal the wrist from the self-harm that had been going on almost non stop for more than a year for now. It had been getting better in the last months, but the blood, the cuts, it was still too much every time.

Meanwhile Rem whispered with warmth, kind words of support to calm him down and make him forget the idea of danger, and then she made him rest his head on her pulsing heartbeat “You are in a safe place Subaru-kun. Rem can assure you of this.”

He clung to her like she was gonna disappear (again). All to try and remember, that he was safe. Craddled in the arms of two of the people that loved him the most.

For now.

Chapter Text

“Emilia-sama wait!”

Despite the screams of Crusch, Julius and her other companions the silver haired girl didn’t slow down at all, she was currently too worried to stop.

“Emilia, Betty shares your worry but don’t be reckless, I suppose.”

“I am sorry Beako, but I will stop only after I have found Subaru even if I will have to check the whole tower.” She said as she crossed the tower with a speed she didn’t know to possess with her ice structures and slides.

Mere moments ago she was sure she was gonna die, the whole tower had been engulfed by a dark shadow, they all knew what that was, not only on instinct but because they actually saw it, save for Meili, on the theatre. The aura of the Witch of Envy, of Satella, of the one who cursed Subaru to eternal suffering, of the one who might be future Emi-

None of that now, she needed to find Subaru.

Sure Volcanica apparently fought back the Witch, while devoured by the smog she heard him say something about “In accordance to the covenant” which she didn’t fully grasp it, but from the viewings they had theorised that the Witch could break free at any moment when someone broke the Taboo. Did the gluttonies knew about RBD somehow? Or was this what happened before the world resetted every time Subaru di-

So many questions, so many worries, all increasing each second, and that was not even counting how Rem, Ram and Patrasche that were in the healing room with him might be.

She had to protect him, even for how incapable she was at doing that, she had to try.

-Slam-

She kicked open one of the door with her elven strenght, barely caring about restrictions.

“SUBARU!! WHERE ARE YOU?” she screamed, her voice echoing through the whole palace.

“Oh, Emilia-tan.” Subaru looked at his girl surprised by her sudden arrival in the same main room of the floor where he and the others were.

“Subaru!!” both Emilia and Beatrice jumped to lock him in a bear hug.

“Girls, I am fine.” He said with the air leaving his lungs. “You can let me go now.”

“Nope.”

“We are never letting you go, I suppose.”

“Rem, Ram, help meeeeeee.” If you listen carefully, you can hear the moment Subaru’s soul left his body yet again.

“Oh! Rem, Ram, you are also fine.” Emilia surprisingly lightened her grip on Subaru the moment she saw the two maids being fine “Thank goodness.”

“We are also gratefull to see you safe, Emilia-sama.” Rem said with a genuine smile, her sister simply nodded.

“Emilia-sama!/Onee-san!/Emilia!” several voices were heard coming down from the stairs.

“Hey guys, Subaru and the others are fine! It seems like Volcanica protected them too!”

Everyone visibly relaxed after hearing and seeing they were are still fine.

“Hey Meili!” Subaru saw the little girl coming down from the stairs and went to do what a lolimancer should always do, tease and play with her costantly

Seeing his carefree attidude Julius had an illumination “Subaru, is it possible that-“

“Oh Emilia-tan didn’t tell you? I managed to recover my lost memories, so now you can stop from worrying about looking like an actual decent knight, and go back to being a pain in the ass like usual.”

“That’s him alright.” Julius said with the tone of a disappointed parent, but with the smile of brotherhood on his face.

“Really? My congratulations Subaru-dono.” Crusch said to the man with a genuine smile she rarely showed before in her life, after all she was one of the few people to know what Subaru must have felt throught that experience. “It seems all ended well in the end.”

“Oh t-thank you Crusch-san.” He said having problems looking at her in the eyes, trying to hide his blush.

After what they went trough in the past loops, he was having conflicting emotions on how he felt for her as Natsuki Subaru and how he did as ‘Natsuki Subaru’.

This was a true mess, who know how Emilia and Rem will react.

“Indeed, contrary to Barusu’s bad timing, it seems there won’t be more sudden developments.”

“Oh c’mon nee-sama, I thought my good timing was the one thing you wouldn’t humiliate.” Subaru said as part of their usual banter, to distract himself from the other emotion.

“Ah! You thought wrong.”

He resigned himself to sigh, while the others laughed, both for the teasing of the relief of the escaped danger.

Then the spike haired knight started asking fro a better understanding of the situation.

“If I understood correctly from the voice, Volcanica was the one to deal with that toxic smog, right?”

All those that were at the last floor when this happened nodded in confirmation.

“Strange, that never happened before, must have been because Emilia-tan passed the trial this time around.” He thought he only mused about his past loops in his head, but he ended up voicing it with the tone of a whisper, strong enough to be barely heard by the others and make them flinch.

Not that he noticed their reactions though.

“Oh well, if the Great Dragon himself dealt with it then we should be safe, right? Something else happening would be only be the king of the convenient plot twists.” Sure his luck was BAD, but not THAT bad, right?

“Betty agrees, I suppose.” Beatrice quickly agreed with the desire to move on from whatever must have happened in this hell with the form of a tower.

“Onii-San is not wrong~.” 

“I don’t like to agree with the killer here, but the logic makes sense.”

“Ohi Anastasia, start treating Meili more nicely.” He looked at the merchant with a tone of hostility.

“Even if her help was undeniable to survive the assault, anything we said so far was only the truth.” The head of the Hoshin company wasn’t as forgiving as the members of the Emilia camp “Why would we change that?”

“Well, firstof all, this little rascal is going to be my daughter.” He said unleashing an headpat on said girl.

“Oh righ-“ The merchant stopped herself halfway through her phrase when Subaru’s declaration finally registered in her brain, and, nearly, everyone looked at the man like he was mad, before shouting “COULD YOU REPEAT THAT?!?” 

“Oh that’s wonderful news!” Except for Emilia, who took it like only she could.

“Emilia-sama I beg you to reconsider.” Rem immediately shared her opinion as a fellow partner of Subaru.

“But why Rem? Meili is a good girl.” 

“I don’t disagree with you Emilia-sama” Crush said sighing at Subaru’s antics “but to go such an extent…”

“Can I give my opinion on this Onii-san?” the adopted one tried to protest.

“Only if you call me dad.” He replied with a smile that meant ‘no you can’t, just accept it’.

The blue haired girl looked at the other Loli of the group “Beatrice how do I deal with this?”

“Why are you asking me, I suppose?”

“You know why~”

“No I don’t, in fact!” She said like an indignated child.

“Sure Beatrice, keep thinking that.” everyone internally said at the old spirit who kept denying the evidence.

Chapter Text

“All connected? Good, light it up then!”

“Subaru.” Julius approached the man with a questioning look “You said this is a tower of radidio communication, there are no light invol-… it’s an idiom of your world isn’t it?”

“Oh wow, you are learning. Maybe you are no longer the dumbassest of knights after all.”

The knight resigned himself to sigh.

But what they were lighting up? A tower of communication for their version of the cell-phone.

The model had been reletively easy to create, it was just an upgrade of their metia, but by using the radio waves instead of only mana, they could expand the range by a much wider margin.

The most complicated part was not the building of the tower but the discussion on how to monetize these products, you can guess Anastasia Hoshin was willing to sell the new metias on a crazy price, but in the end Subaru managed to convince her to sell them at a lower one, by saying that if everyone had access to such objects, then the life of merchants, and the economy in general, would be much easier.

“Natsuki-kun! We are we're turning on the new metia!”

“Coming!”

The first experiment with said tower would be to see if the improved metia could reach from the capital, to the Mathers mansion, almost a day of travel could be prevented if this worked.

-Bzzzzz-

“It doesn’t seem to be working.”

“Have a little bit of faith, Anastasia. The fact that it even started on the first try is more than I expected.”

“Whut?” she made a face that said ‘are you scamming me with this one?’

Before she could unleash her fury on the knight, the connection fixed itself and they could see who there was on the other side.

“ –Bzzzz- kun, Subaru-kun, is that you?” On the other side there Rem, Ram, and Garfiel.

“Hey Rem.”

“COOOO-bzzzz-OOOOOLL, this new invention of the cap’n is the –bzzzzz- thing ever.”

“Not the worst Barusu has –bzzzz- made.”

On the side however they weren’t on the same level of optimism.

“The range is indeed remarkable Natsuki-kun, but we are not hearing everything they say.”

“As of now, I don’t think it’s that much of a problem Anastasia-sama, however it would be better to make another couple of tests to see if it improves, or if if the same problem arise if we try with the other stations.”

“You two stick in the ass are really made for each other, you know?” Subaru commented to the two logistics behind him, both for their untollerable attitudes, and for how much he loved to see Julius try to hide his blushing face.

“Rem, there seems to be some problems with communication.” He turned back to the people on the other side

“What do you –bzzzz- Subaru-kun?” the interference was starting to creat some problems.

“So we should end this thing here.”

“What do –bzzz- mean?” she jumped to a wrong connection (like most of the time).

“I am breaking up the ph-“

“I AM PREGNANT!!!”

“-the phone. I am breaking up the phone.” While the others were halfway through heart attacks Subaru answered without missing note “It’s a saying from my world for when you end up a call, Rem.”

“Oh… -bzzzz-” embarassing silence interrupted only by the distorsions followed “Rem is sorry then.”

“Not even married and you already trying to give me a heart attack are you?” this looked like a comic sketch about married couple from back home.

“Uh?” Garfiel tilted his head confused, and with his majestic care he interrupted saying ”But Rem, didn’t you say before you are actually pregnant?”

“WHAT?!?” “WHAT?!?”

From both sides of the phone the groups reacted shocked.

-Bang-

They all turned to face the source of the sound.

“Did Nee-sama just pass out cold on the floor?”

“Yes, -krrr- she did Subaru-kun.”

Meanwhile in another region of Lugunica, through the divine protection of ‘I heard that’

“I AM AN UNCLEEEEEE!!!!” said an excited red haired knight, weirding out everyone in the street.

Chapter Text

“I will not allow this absurdity to continue.” He says as his sword is drawn and moved to kill her.

Not even the sound of slashing through her body was heard, he was too fast for it to follow.

He is the sword saint, after all.

“What was that last part about? When she was glaring reproachfully at you and me?” the vice captain is saying many things, while cursing everyone, while looking at them like they are cursing him.

While the younger one of the trio does not seem affected by such words. He can’t be affected.

He is the sword saint, after all.

“No, I did what was right.” He answers with emotionless honesty.

It was the correct answer, the objective answer. Because he simply did his duty.

He is the sword saint, after all.

“That is right. You are right. And I am wrong. I have nothing more to say to you” his grandfather noted while slowly walking away from him and his father.

The same as always, nothing different from usual.

Once again Reinhard slaid someone his family treasured, someone he too should have treasured. But he couldn’t have done otherwise.

He is the sword saint after all.

That was the simple reality of his life.

He was not someone allowed to care, and be taken care of. No one would have cared for Reinhard, because the Sword Saint is not supposed to ca-

“Can I believe the people I care about, also care about me?” a voice out of nowhere came in the mind of the sword saint, a reminder of a plead. A pathetic plead, something that anyone else would have understood before, if they were in the place of that man. But because no one could have been so flawed as him, because no one could have been as genuine as him, then no one could have been as human as him.

Maybe his blessing of perfect memory could be useful just this once.

“Your strenght-“

“However grandfather.”

Both Heinkel and Wilhelm stopped in their tracks, surprised that he had something else to say.

“I know I have no right to say those words, but I am glad that you and my father are both fine.”

Words that would have been as normal as air in any other family, here were more astonishing than Reinhard’s own power.

“That’s… what I wanted you to know.”

The two man didn’t know how to convey their suprise at the young knight’s action.

Wilhelm could only look at him with his mouth slighty open.

“Wha-? What the hell are you talking about, damn monster!” but Heinkel had so much to say like usual “First you come here like nothing that is happening is any of your concern, but only a fly that you have to kill, then you blabber about giving a shit about us?! You are a monster! You won’t fool anyone into thinking you are capable of any emoti-“

“HEINKEL!” the furious tone of the sword demon froze his son on the spot, before making space for a more tired one “I told you, it’s enough.” The man had seen too many slaughters in the last days to see his family tore each other apart once more.

“Oh c’mon father, now you try to act like Rein saying a couple of good words erases everything? What about all the other times where he was confused asking help, only for you to-“

“Rein.”

“Uh?” the vice commander turned to look at his son yet again confused by his antics.

“Father, you haven’t called me that in years.” He said with a glimmer of hope, of foolish, baseless, human desire.

“So what? I must have forgotten it, after all, monster, parasite and all your other nicknames, are way more suited for-“

“Even when you call me Reinhard, you sound like it’s the alchol and the resentement talking, but when you say Rein, it’s like none of the years passed since you were teaching me when I was a little boy.”

“Enough with your crap and stop wasting air!”

“…It’s not a waste of air, honored father.”

“-Gh-“ An alien expression appeared on Heinkel, anyone could see it was the face of someone feeling the same thing, and fighting against his desire of longing for that lost era.

His son extended his arm towards him “Da-“

-Slap-

Just for him to be rejected like usual.

“Shut up, just…” The drunk man looked like he was on the verge of crying, but a very different one from what his family members were used to “Shut up.”

A silence that sounded very different from usual, was the only thing that was a companion of the three troubled men.

Until at some point Heinkel left, cursing them all with his usual tone, if not harsher than usual.

And just like usuale neither Wilhelm or Rein went to follow him. They would have been the least adapt for this role, while the most suited had been unavailable for more than a decade by now.

But Wilhelm finally understood, that he might have been the most suited person, at least for the man in front of him.

“Reinhard, thank you for your words.”

“Really, they were nothing in the end.”

“Trust me, they were more than that.” He knew he couldn’t offer the warmth a true grandfather would supply, but at least he could try “However I will have to request some personal time alone to reflect on my own.”

“Of course honored grandfather, I can’t imagine how troubled you are right now.”

“The same for you Reinhard. You will have your own grief to face once again.”

 Reinhard looked astonished at this notion, gried. Was he allowed to grieve? To let the emotion go through him? Was it allowed for the Sword Saint?

No. No, he wasn’t.

But Reinhard, the one who witnessed Subaru Natsuki rises and falls, the one who had seen his grandfather apologising to him, the one who saw first hand Felt-sama fired spirit, Rein, maybe he could.

“Right. Thank you honored grandfat-.“ before he could even say something else his divine protections triggered, he sensed people in danger. He had to act quickly.

“Reinhard-”

“I am sorry, I have to go.” And with that he leaped once again in the night disappearing beyond the eye’s reach.

“Just-“ his words were wasted on the empty street where he was, his only companion now the ashes of his wife.

But he understood something, he knew right here and there, that he will regret for the rest of their lives, if he won’t be able to say to him the truth, he hopes soon enough.

“She would have been proud of you more than anything else.”

Chapter Text

-Flush-

The sound of water running in the sink filled the silence of the deep night in the room, the personal bathroom of Emilia.

What was she doing at this hour? She just woke up from a nightmare, something that had become common not just for her, but for almost everyone in the camp, after returning from the tower. Priestella and the travel towards the Pledias Tower were complicated, despite her happiness of finally responding to Subaru’s feelings, no one really had the time to calm down and reflect on the revelations that happened. So in the calm of the routine of their life, the horrors began to truly settle in everyone’s mind, thus the torments each night.

The nightmares had been always the same, the death of her knight. Sometimes caused by her own incompetence, sometimes random in the middle of the battlefield, sometimes while she was chained to her seat in that accursed theatre, and sometimes she wouldn’t see his deaths, she would see him live long and peacefully, surrounded by family that cherised him without having to die even once. The request for that to happen was always the same, Emilia simply didn’t have to be in his life.

She hated that the most.

How could you not hate the cold objective truth?

But none of that now, Subaru had chosen her so many times and she swore she would be worthy of such love, he knew the risks and still choose her, so despite her conflicted feelings, she knew she will also always choose him in life rather than making the same mistake again.

This was what went through her mind every night, as she cleaned her face from the sweat with the cold water.

However while lifting her head from the sink, from a second that lasted an eternity, in the reflection she saw HER.

The one that brought Subaru into their world, but also cursed him to an eternity of suffering.

But just as quickly as she saw Satella, she realized she was looking at herself, the darkness of the night and the exhaustion made her vision confused.

Only that way she could confuse herself, an half-elf that in an attack of rage froze the inhabitants of the place where she grew up, to the Witch of Envy, the half elf that in an attack of rage englued half of the world. Right?

“What if the half-wit in this very room is the Witch of Envy?! Or, rather, she will become one in the future!” said the Vallochian Baroness in the theatre months ago.

These words hold no meaning, right? Just the mean words of one of her rivals, eho wanted her knight for herself, right?

 “At least once, use your primitive brains! The half-wit and the Witch resemble each other like two drops of water. The Witch of Envy has the ability to manipulate time, and she said she’s in love with this commoner, claiming that he was the only one who loved her and treated her with kindness. Putting these facts together, is it not possible to assume that, at some point in the future, the half-devil will get the ability to manipulate time, mishandle this power, and be transported far into the past?”

Two drops of water…

But they weren’t two drops of water right now, Emilia had slight wounds from her fight against Volcanica, while Satella was untouched.

*scratch*

However these wounds would soon heal naturally.

*scratch*

They were very light wounds.

*scratch*

No problem, though.

*scratch*

She just had to dig in.

*scratch*

To make sure that her Subaru never had to look at who cursed him, that Rem and Ram didn’t have a reminder of the cult that destroyed their race, that Garfiel didn’t have to look at the monster that killed him at the sanctuary.

*dip*

They all shed so much blood, simply because of her being born.

*dip* *dip* *dip*

It was only natural that she started to do the same for them.

-----------------

Walking the hall there was a trio, the Rem-Beatrice-Subaru trio, after one of his attack they had left the room to go to the kitchen, feeling the need of a glass of water.

Overall the stress of the nightmares was gone, and they were walking it relaxed.

Until

“Subaru-kun, Beatrice-sama.” Rem froze on the spot, earning confused looks from the other two “Rem smells blood.”

“Uh?”

“Betty didn’t sense any intruder, in fact.” Beatrice interjected.

“And Rem doesn’t smell any miasma outside of the normal, but still she smells something coming from…” the terror of realization made her freeze.

“From where Rem?”

“From… Emilia-sama room.”

Subaru doesn’t even let the phrase end, that he is running across the hall at a speed he didn’t knew he possesed. The voice of Beatrice and Rem feels like distant sounds that he can’t hear compared to the anxiety he is feeling right now.

“Emilia!” he says as he slams the door open of her room, but he doesn’t find her “Where-?”

The bathroom he has to check the bathroom, and opening it he finds her in front of the mirror, where at the bottom of it there are traces of blood.

“!” Subaru can’t believe his eyes, she is opening her own face with violent cuts, ripping open her own flesh. “Emilia!” he grabs her hands to stop her.

“Oh. Subaru.” She is surprised, but she i salso in a strange state, almost like a trance state “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing? What are you doing? You cut your face. The blood is rushing like crazy.” He took a a towel to start cleaning her face. “What happened? Why did it happen?”

“Subaru, really it’s not important.”

In one of the few times in his life, Subaru got openly angry at her “NOT IMPORTANT!?! Emilia, what the fuck are you talking about?”

Before she could answer other voices entered the room.

“Subaru-kun, did you find Emilia-sama?”

“She is there, I suppose.” From the bedroom they moved towards the private bathroom “Emilia, is there any intru-“

Both maid and spirit froze upon finding out what was happening.

“Perfect, you two are there.” He pulled Emilia by the arm bringing her to the bed, and making her sit on it.

“What is happening?” the little girl looked around confused, and slightly scared “Why is Emilia like that, I suppose?”

“It’s really nothi-“

“Beako!” he also didn’t knew, but Emilia wouldn’t tell, so he choose to act anyway “Starts using the healing magic!”

“Y-yes, Betty will do it immediately, I suppose!”

“There is no ne-“

“Rem-rin! Get some water, we need to clean her face.”

“Y-Yes!”

Emilia tried to interject “Rem, listen to me-“

“Emilia, just let Betty work” she started casting magic on her hands “Then you will explain later, I suppo-“

“NO! –slap-“ shocking everyone else in the room Emilia hits the hands of Beatrice stopping her from touching her face “There is no need, it’s all going to be o-key, you will all see tomorrow morning that I was doing the right thing. Nothing is wrong, I am just… I am just…”

“Emilia!” Subaru grabs her by the shoulders to look at her directly and call her out from bullshitting. “Why?”

Under his gaze, under the gaze pleading, confused, but most importantly, scared of Subaru, Emilia can’t make up excuses anymore.

“I-I just-“ she begins to tear up “I just didn’t want any of you to see her again.” She says as she chokes on her own words.

“H-Her? Emilia, you thinking that you look like the Witch of Envy, can’t be the reason for this.” He says as he begin to rub her shoulders.

“I don’t look like her, I am identical to her!!” Emilia begins to scream “Maybe one day I will even become her, I only hurt people after all!! I only hurt you, that’s… that’s all I can do!” she says as she wails in despair.

Subaru soons takes her in an hugh, blood on him be damned, his woman needed comfort, and he shall help her. There is a new understanding however, whatever the way they discovered about his power and past loops, they have also seen his confrontations with Satella, he is surprised they never asked him about it before, but he is not going to think about that now. He needs to think about Emilia.

Rem and Beatrice meanwhile look at each other confused on how to approach the situation. Emilia held these doubts to herself far too long, they were wondering if she would have ever brought them up openly, and they came out in the worst way possible.

They needed to approach this, but how? Subaru would always compliment her traits in her bad moments, but in this moment something like that could probably increase her fears of comparison or the idea that she is the witch herself.

As Subaru kept rubbing her shoulders thinking of a way out

“Emilia.” A tiny voice found the courage to say something.

“Betty… Betty is glad that you were there.”

Both knight and lady looked at her not fully understandin these words.

“Because Betty would not have managed to go through what we learned, if she was alone, in fact. Betty is just like her Subaru, I suppose. Betty tends to overestimate both her skills and the responsibilities she has to uphold. So when she found out the amount of her sins, Betty didn’t want to be forgiven or hugged again, I suppose. She wanted to be punished. She wanted to be rejected. But Emilia hugged Betty many times, I suppose. You told Betty that she should learn to forgive herself, I suppose. Because Betty needed to stop being a dunderhead, I suppose. So when Betty looks at you, she thinks of the kind person that forgave her many sins, and told her that they can share them, while they are both trying to do better, I suppose. For Betty, Emilia is the farthest being from resemblying the Witch, I suppose.”

Beatrice went to grab one Emilia’s hand with one of her tiny ones.

“Because Betty loves Emilia, while the other is someone that torments the people Betty loves, in fact. So please don’t hurt Betty’s Emilia. Betty can’t stand that. She can’t stand being useless again, in fact.”

This is the last thing she says as she begins to cry, like a little child that just saw one of their parents getting hurt, while not having the power to help.

“Beako…” normally Subaru would be over the top seeing his spirit so open, but the situation left even him astonished.

So while he looks at her with a mouth wide Emilia captures the spirit in a passionate hug.

“I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry Beatrice, I didn’t want to make you worry.” She says as she continues to cry, but this time a different kind of tears “Thank you, thank you! You are a good girl. The best girl!”

“B-Betty knows it, I suppose.” She says as she continues to cry in her hug, despite her attempt to be a tsundere again “A-And Emilia, better s-spoil her, I suppose.”

“All of them… all the sweets in the world you can have them, I promise!”

“Emilia, I think that might be the first promise that you have to break.” Subaru said starting to giggle at the view before him, the dense air was finally started to ease.

“I don’t care if we end up bankrupt, Beatrice will have all the candies anyway!” Emilia didn’t even give her knight a look, she just kept rubbing her face and tears on Beatrice’s hair.

“I didn’t give my consent to my finances!” he said with fake outrage, but that only increased the laughs of everyone in the room.

As everyone finally started to relax, Rem managed to approach the half-elf with a wet towel to clean her from the dry blood on her face.

“Emilia-sama, may I?”

Emilia still caressing Beako, nodded to the maid.

While Rem, cleaned Emilia, Subaru went to the bathroom to try and clean his shirt from the blood that stained on him with the hug. This left a little bit of time for the Oni to say something.

“Rem thinks the same of Beatrice-sama.” She adds with genuine warmth “Not once did I think that Emilia-sama could ever change into someone like that. Me and Nee-sama will forever be thankfull for the kindness you showed us.”

The viewings of the mansion showed crimes that many would not forgive, Rem and Ram first will probably never do so. Still the chance to atone that they got from her will always be one of their most treasured gifts.

“I know, you said it many times in that place. You have no idea how much you have helped me Rem.”

“Then Rem is simply glad to have helped.”

The two hug each other, effectevely sandwiching Beatrice in the middle by mistake.

At some point the spirit pats Emilia on the shoulder, not only to break the hug, but also to ask the half-elf.

“C-Can Betty heal you now, I suppose?” she extends her hand towards the cuts, still trembling and with teary eyes.

“Of course.” She says as she blames herself for hurting this little girl with her stupidity “Of course you can.”

As Beatrice casts the healing spell Subaru returns and sit on the side of his lady, grabbing her hand and staying close to her, everyone is just silent, letting time pass by.

After a few minutes Beatrice finishes, and gets headpated as reward.

But still everyone stays silent until Emilia finds the strenght to comment.

“Sorry if I did something so stupid…”

“Oh well, not the stupidest thing any of us have done.” He says as he shruggs this off “So we know the drill by now.”

“Right, you are infecting me, dunderhead.” She takes the chance and throws a quip back.

“Why am I the one used as stupid reference?! Use Otto at the very least!” Subaru could forgive murder, but he draws the line at being lower than Otto.

While they all laugh at the comment, Emilia interlock her fingers with those of Subaru, making him go red.

“Emilia-tan?”

“Can you… can you stay for the night? Just this once?”

He is no longer red, he is just focused on taking care of the person he loves “Always.” He says with a reassuring smile, as he begins to play with her hair “Beako? Rem?”

He gives them a look, and they immediately stand up straight, taking the towels and bucket of water with them.

“Since Rem services are no longer needed, I will leave Emilia-sama and her knight to their private time.” She says as she bows and turns to the door.

“Same for Betty, I suppose.” She adds as she walks towards the door.

“Thank you.” “Good Night.” The two say as they are left alone.

After a few seconds the full silence of the deep night, and the fact that they are alone, settles in.

Even as they become more and more embarassed as the time pass, they manage to get under the covers, for the first time ever Subaru gets to be the big spoon, and let their embrace feel like they are the same body.

Because in spirit they are already the same.

Two people that the world seems ready to hate and isolate, to guide them towards already determined paths that no one can understand, but they have learned through each other’s love, how to not let it happen.

They might fall, but they will not fail to that.

Never.

Chapter Text

“Heinkel-sama, I think that’s enough for today.”

“Shut up Schult, I have barely began.”

The poor butler Schult was trying to stop the vice-captain from getting to a state of drunkness where he would start to become aggressive towards everything and everyone.

However that would soon prove to be impossible, as the man was in one of the worst periods of his life, and for that, he was ready to ruin’s everyone’s day at every occasion.

“You don’t get it kid, and I hope for your sake that you will never get to know it, but love is just a mabeast ready to bite your –ick- off. I spent years taking care of my Louanna, then when that freak kid finally awakens her, he tells her that I tried to ruin the life of our son, of Reinhard. So now, my beautiful wife, gives me the silent treatment!! I am an honest married man, that tried his best for decades. –ick- Why can’t I be treated with respect?”

That’s how his new days would usually go, trying to rebuild the bond with his wife all day, only to be rejected, and end up in a place like the one where he was now, with the excuse of drinking trying to forget the pain of said rejection.

“B-But Heinkel-sama, shouldn’t you apologize first? For all your past mistakes?”

“Uh?” he turns to look at the kid with a menacing look, second only to the eyes of Subaru Natsuki.

“IIIIIHHHH!!!!”

“Oh Heinkel. What are you doing here?” and speak of the devil.

“Uh? What the fuck are you doing here freak kid?”

“You will never call me by my name, won’t you?” Subaru sighs disappointed “At least he stopped calling Reinhard a monster. That’s progress.”

“What’s with that look? You are also going to judge me?”

“Not today, no.” He said with a non expressive face “I am merely waiting for your order.”

“You work here? Aren’t you busy with your org-g-g-” he wanted to say something extremely explicit, but there was a kid present after all, at least he had that level of decency “g-ganized relationships? You have three chicks to take care of, no?”

“I helped create this place, thank you.” The restaurant where they were located was opened by Anastasia Hoshin following receipts of Subaru’s world, as the effective co founder he could visit when he wanted “Sometimes I pass by to see how things are going, but I never manage to just stay iddle, so I end up- ”

“Oh great, another speech about the goodness of heart!” Heikel exploded indignated “Of how you and Rein always try to help the others, all great qualities coming from the man himself Wilhelm Van Astrea. All things that will make you think how this family of overpowered calamities, could generate a failure like Heinkel Astrea. Don’t need to say these things every five fucking minutes, being a failure in the history books, and be forsaken by his own wife, are more than enough for a single man! But why should I worry about me? When your addition in the family, and your hyperproductive harem, will assure than the future line is made by people so incredible that will delete my stain from the memory of the average person!!”

“…”

“Am I wrong?”

“…Schult, how much did he drink?” Subaru asked the ‘babysitter’ of the two.

“Hey!”

“This would be the third pit, Subaru-sama.”

“Don’t tell him!”

“Good grief, this is worse than I thought... He will need something heavy that help him digest the alcohol. A good pizza should help.”

“I don’t want any of your disgusting food.“

“Listen here Dad.”

“Urgh, how much I hate that sound coming from you.”

“That makes it two of us. The point is, I don’t want to neither kick you out, or leave you to puke your own intestines for the next 12 hours. So you will seat like a decent costumer. You will eat Pizza, you will like Pizza, and you will want to eat more of it, by the of this day.”

“Listen kid.” He gets up, pointing a finger at Subaru’s chest “There is no way in Od, that I will want-“

*5 minutes later*

“Well Fuck me in the ass. I have to admit, I LOVE PIZZA!!!”

“YEAAAHHH!!!”

By now all the costumers in this place are fully drunk, but not only from the alcohol, but also from the collective love they share for pizza, making a lot of them dance in honor of this new food.

“ANOTHER!” He says as he smash the plate on the ground, and the others screams excited once again.

“Is this good Subaru-sama?” Schult whispered not fully understanding the current mood.

“It’s better than before, Schult.”

Chapter Text

-CLASH-

-SWING-

-CLASH-

In the large courtyard of the Karsten domain, these sounds are heard as two fighters are testing their skills against one another, in what had became a training of routine for these two, every time the two camps had a meeting of sort.

“Come here sword demon!”

“Respectfully Garfiel-dono!” –CLASH- “I hope your strikes will prove mighter than your words!” -CLASH-

“You want mighty? I will show you mighty!!” he says as he transforms his two arms to launch a bigger attack.

-BLAM-

The shockwave that follow is only one of the many of that day, until both retire to clean themselves and their weapons.

“Your improvement is magnificent Garfiel-dono, I have nothing to condemn you about your fighting skills.” The butler says while he starts cleaning his sword.

“Thanks old man.” Garfiel replies with excitement and a raised fist.

Wilhelm looks at him with a soft look that show how much he enjoys the energy of this young man, but he quickly hardens it for what he has to say next “Although I have to admit, compared to usual, today you were different.”

“Different?”

“Please take a look at our fighting stage.” He says turning at his side, and stopping cleaning his sword.

Garfiel turned to look at the courtyard, everything was just like before, except for a few holes here and there.

“Usually when you ask for my assistance you try to redifine your technique Garfiel-dono. Today instead you opted for a more destructive approach, normally you wouldn’t leave so much destruction on someone’s else home.”

That generated a flinch in Garfiel, immediately understanding the problem the man was trying to discuss.

“You tried to avoid thinking about something by putting more fury in the fight didn’t you?”

His silence became an admission of guilt.

“What is that troubles you so much?”

“N-Nothing much.”

“Garfiel-dono. Are you having the visions of the bowel hunter again?” he says with an apprhensive tone.

“No no, thanks to your lessons my amazin’ self cleaned his mind off these doubts. I didn’t see that bitch anymore after Priestella.”

It was true.

While in the theatre they were discussing ways to help his cap’n, Garfiel heard Wilhelm talk about some mental exercises to steel the mind, so when they both stayed behind in Priestella, the boy went to him to learn of this mental training. He really needed it, considering he also had found new and old members of his family in that city. That was how the two started this unofficial mentor-student relationship.

“These doubts? I suppose it’s a different argument then?”

“-Ick-“ the butler suggestion hit the mark perfectly “R-right…”

“…I understand if you won’t wish to share those thoughts with this old man in particular. However I insist that you should-“

“Nonono old man, it’s perfectly fine to talk to you.” Garfiel esclaimed immediately “you are one of the few I can talk about this…” he muttered with a lowlier tone

The swordsman raised an eyebrow with curiosity “Could you be more specific, Garfiel-dono?”

Garfiel looked down conflicted biting his lip, before finally opening up.

“The problem is that today I woke up with nightmares. Nightmares about what we saw. Nightmares about what my ama-, what I did.”

Silence followed, and only the sound of wind filled the void generated by the weight of the argument.

“I…understand. I would go as far to say that it would be more surprising if any of us didn’t suffer nightmares from that experience.” An imperceptible flicker of pain in his tone, showed how he was still affected by the horrible visions they witnessed.

“It’s different for me old man.” Garfiel denied the statement by moving his head sideways “Ya simply didn’t help, but you had no ‘bligation, like a Farmer doesn’t have to kill the mabeasts in a forest, if they leave the earth dragons alone, but I was the weapon that made the cap’n go through so much pain.” In this whole time, he never raised his gaze to meet Wilhelm’s one, he kept looking down, biting his lip and clenching his fist harder and harder.

The man looked at the boy, not capable of telling him he could absolve him from this guilt, but he at least knew, drowing in it would help no one.

“Please do not afflict yourself at least psychically, Garfiel-dono. Subaru-dono wouldn’t wish anyone that kind of torment.”

Without saying a word Garfiel released slowly his grip on himseld, he seemed eager to listen to the man before him.

“I am afraid you are terribly mistaken however, simply because we weren’t the direct cause of pain for Subaru-dono, that doesn’t mean we are free for the guilt we feel in his regard, and respectfully, it’s slightly hypocrite of you to act this way, I remember you were quite insistent that Julius-dono shouldn’t feel guilty for the one time he too had to do the unthinkable.”

“But that’s-“

“Different? Probably” gone was the old butler, a warrior with much more experience was the one that cut off and kept talking to the Shield of the sanctuary “Still in my many years, I have seen even more aspects of humans and demi-humans alike, and you will learn how similar some of these are. The one thing I can tell you right now is that inaction also means permission, it does not exempt one from not living the consequences of whatever action will unfold, so I ask you kindly to not put your pain over anyone else’s. And besides, you might have been the dagger, but we know who was the handler of the blade.”

“Man you are right. I wish I could punch him a few times more…” he said clicking his teeth in annoyance.

“Please do not do that, even if it’s Roswaal-sama.” Wilhelm was tempted to remind him that because of the seal Garfiel could punch the margrave as many time sas he wanted, but since he too had been once young, he knew how quickly it could get out of hand. “I won’t ever say that I have all the answers for this dilemma you are facing, even I haven’t faced something like this before, so I urge you to find yourself a way of atoning, and if possible absolve, from your sins.”

“…….how?” that is not something the fighter could defeat head on, just like he always did. Hell for most of his life he learned to fight, because he was avoiding facing problems like this.

“Well it’s simple, I have asked you to not put your pain and guilt above the one of others, but that doesn’t mean you have to put it lower, you can share it and learn what others have to say about it, perhans you might have the answers for each other without even knowing it. Or maybe sometimes a well defined love has the answers you didn’t know you needed.” He gave the tiger a look and smirk that meant ‘You well know who I mean’. “I know and saw a few things about it.”

“Sh-Shut up…” he says blushing terribly, but by now the idea was fully integrated in his mind, determined to try this new path. “But… T-Thank you. Really thank you. My amazing self is glad that you have put up with my stupid tendencies.”

“Oh think nothing of it.” He dismissed the compliment “I am merely an old man that made far too many mistakes, but sometimes he is at least lucky enough to recognize when others are going to do the same thing.”

“Oh…” Garfiel now looked at the butler like his breath had been taken away, like this shade of honest humilty was the first time he fully understood how deep the strenght of Sword Demon was.

“Pardon?” the swordsman looked at him confused by this new reaction.

“No, nothing. It’s just… I think I finally understand why the cap’n is so right to call you the dopest swordsman he has ever met.”

Wilhelm looked at him surprised, since he didn’t know the exact meaning of this word, but he was happy nonetheless “I am not really sure what that means, but knowing Subaru-dono it’s for sure a compliment.”

“It is. Trust the cap’n and my amazing self.” He pumped his chest with pride and smile “But more than that old man, I was thinking, isn’t what you said appliable to you too?”

The man, in all honesty looked back at him, with interest “What do you mean, Garfiel-dono?”

“I don’t know the specifics, but from the viewing and from the cap’n I heard ya family is complicated, but they can’t be anymore complicated that me or what we already saw. So my amazing self is thinking, ya so cool for making the best out of the mistakes, but couldn’t ya also take your own advice? I think that anyone would be happier to see you more at ease with yourself and the others.”

It was as if a lighting hit the man, all the doubts he felt for more than a decade, he never thought that the others could have felt the same, he always thought that he had to improve to be worthy of forgviness and atonment, but he never thought the shame he felt could be recognized as his starting point, that would compliment what Reinhard and Heinkel felt.

He never thought until now, that for them to be better, they had to first recognize they weren’t. But somehow this clarity of uneasiness being universal, only made him more determined and convinced than they could all improve.

“Yes. I should learn to do that more. I even believe that it would be indeed dope Garfiel-dono. After all, I should never underestimate how much you young men manage to understand the simplicity of life, better than us.” Wilhelm ends while sheating his cleaned sword with a relieved smile on his face.

Because of that action he didn’t see Garfiel shocked and frozen expression, at Wilhelm, of all people, adopting this terminology.

”I don’t care if they don’t believe me, next time I meet the others I need to tell everyone about this.”

And in one of the boys nights out...

“I don’t believe you.” Julius answers first.

“I can’t believe you.” Ferris adds shocked, the image he had of Wilhelm just shattered.

“I don’t care.” Al ends while he takes another sip of the beer.

“Dang it!”

Chapter Text

“Subaru, I love you.”

“Emilia…” he had yearned to hear this for a long time, but the wait had been far too long, so his heart started leaning towards other songs “thank you, but… I love Rem.”

“What?” shock filled her answer, which she pronounced with a tone close to a whisper, unable to believe the statement.

“Oh and also Crusch.”

“WHAT?” the betrayal in her tone, echoed the one when she left him alone at the capital.

“I have loved you a long time, and in some ways I still do, but things change, Emilia.” He didn’t address her with the nickname both of them once loved “I have changed. In part because of what you did to me, or rather what you never did.” His melanchony was second only to the swift anger his tone communicated.

He had fought and won against things the world itself deemed impossible to conquer, all for her. And the way she had treated him? Completely inadeguate.

“No-“

“But it’s how it went Emilia.” He put an hand on his face, with a drammatic tone “I have done things you people wouldn’t believe. Survived otherwordly dangers brought here from the of the old sage. Instructed this world to the radio waves, that revolutionased the way of our lives. And after all of that, I had to stay idle and wait for you, you made me look small and unimportant, like tears in the rain.”

“No please Subaru. I can change.” She dropped on her knees, starting to beg him “I-I have changed. I will continue to change. J-Just tell me what I have to do. Please! I beg you. I can’t lose you too.”

“But you have already lost me. All because of you.” He turned to look away from her, with a mock tone, dismissing her completely.

“I know, I know, but I will- I can be better! I promise!”

“You… promise?” he turned to look at her again, intrigued, this time around.

“Yes!” she said as she had wet eyes, ready to burst.

“Well…” he captured a lock of her hair with an hand, and with the other he lifted her chin, looking at her directly with a predatory smirk, while he sensually ran his thumb on her lips “Since you promised, I might have a few sugge-“

”Mom, dad.”

“!” “!”

The, very active couple, completely dropped the roleplay, and turned to look at the door.

Slowly and mechanical, to the point that you could hear their bones squeak for the embarassement of being caught, by their adopted daughter, Meili Natsuki.

“What are you do~iiing?”

Frankly the kid wasn’t that much impressed by what was happening in front of her, she had seen, and experienced some wild things in her past, for some aspects she was the most mature of the Emilia side of the Natsuki family.

That doesn’t mean it didn’t felt any less embarassing for the parents.

“We…”

“Are-“

“Were! Not, are.”

“Yeah definetely not anymore.”

“We can do that later though.” Subaru whispered in a far too high tone, which earned a smack in the back by Emilia.

“Doing what later?” Because Meili actually heard him.

“Uh! Euhhh… a sibling! No! I mean-!” the red half-elf ended up eating her own words.

Subaru nearly facepalmed, before admitting to himself, that the desired result would bring to that.

”But there is already Beatrice…” she tilted her head confused, in an Emilia style.

“W-well, wouldn’t you like to have more though?”

While Emilia kept worsening the situation, for the first time Subaru was genuinely considering of asking a deity to kill him right here and there.

“No because you are going to spoil them, while leaving me behind.”

“I have to admit I can’t disagree with that logic, Emilia-tan.”

She sushed him by lightly smacking him.

“-Sigh- Anyway, Meili, we thought you would have been asleep by now.” The half-elf turned to look at the little girl with a worried tone “Did something happen?”

“…” The girl silenced herself suddendly, clunching her own nightdress.

“Meili…” Subaru too sat up straight to look at her with seriety.

“I… had a nightmare…” she looked down nervously, almost ashamed of being there for such a reason.

The two parents exchanged a look, Meili was an ex killer, except for rare exceptions, she would never have problems with something like that, which meant only one possible result.

So Subaru approached his daughter, he went on his knees and put his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them to make her feel at ease.

“It was about Capella, wasn’t it?”

Meili flinched, she gripped her dress tighter and nodded nervously.

Subaru couldn’t stand this picture. Sighing he pulled her in a hug and planted a kiss on her forehead while caressing her hair, like only a parent could do to their scared kid.

“Don’t ever feel ashamed of asking help about that. Got it?” They had gone through this a thousand time by now, but they will do it as many times as it needs, to help her defeat the scars that monster left on her.

“Yes...” She said, not fully convinced. She was 15 by now, a full adult in their world, and here she was still creating problems. As if she didn’t give them enough when she nearly ki-

“Meili, we are your parents.” Emilia also had come in this hug on the knees by now “You won’t ever be too big to ask for help from us. Never forget it. Ok-ey?”

In the silence of the room, the two awaited several seconds before an emotional Meili could answer with a weak but honest “ok-ey” herself, letting herself be lifted by Subaru, and put under the sheets of the bed, as she squeezed their hands as her anchor in life.

Chapter Text

Shit, shit, where is Felix?”

“Betty fears we are not gonna find him easily, I suppose.”

“SHIT!” Subaru says as the blood flows non stop in his hands.

He takes another look at the body he is carrying. Only one option left.

“Beako, I am gonna use cor leonis to absorb his pain, you use your magic to heal him.”

“Subaru! That’s-“

“We already did it to Meili in the tower. Each moment we spend talking this kid will have lower chance of making it. Do it.”

“…damn it, I suppose.”

She wanted to disagree, hell she wanted to take her contractor and bring him out of this city, but she knew she couldn’t do that.

The capital had been turned into a battlefield, whatever remained of the Witch’s Cult, decided to launch a final attack, a ‘fuck it we ball’ would say her contractor. And they planned it well, they had struck all the knights buildings as their first move, generating more and more chaos in the process.  Subaru and Beatrice were in the city for personal business, and managed to save only a young apprentice, a little more than a kid, who was currently bleeding out. They hoped to find Felix or a healer, but they will have to do it themselves.

“urgh.” And speaking of the kid, the healing process was working.

“Hey kid, how you doing?”

“What happened? I-I saw an explosion… but I didn’t even see it… it just hit me.”

“Yeah the witch’s cult is making a mess out of the city, and you were unlucky enough to be in their line of fire.”

“The witch’s cult is here?!?” the kid was shocked upon hearing the news.

“Don’t worry, we are handling it. In this moment, just focus on the healing we are doing to you. How do you feel?”

“I-I do feel pain, but very little, like I had been struck by a wood sword in training, instead of” He looked at the wound still loosing blood despite the healing “t-that.”

“Yeah, to make it short, I have an overpower skill that absorbs the pain of the others. However I left you a little bit amount, so that you don’t make any sudden move.”

“I think one of my organs might be destroyed. How are you handling all of that?”

“Maybe another time kid.” Subaru chuckled to himseld.

The knight in training looked confused by this statement, even more confused he was when the little girl working on his body flinched.

“But anyway, enough about me, and let’s keep talking about me. I am Natsuki Subaru, the one and only knight of the half-elf Emilia, and the spirit knight of the contracted spirit Beatrice, the one who is currently healing you. We are pleased to meet you, and we would be even more pleased if you told us your name.”

The kid was taken back by both the fact that he had a living legend saving his life, and by his peculiar way to introduce himself.

“Miguel… My name is Miguel.”

“Oh god, did the Spanish and Portoguese colonise this world too? Wasn't Japan enough for them?”

“What?”

“Ignore him, I suppose.”

“Oh well… I see that the rumors about not following the normal ethique of a knight, were correct Subaru-sama.”

“Ohi, you are probably younger than Meili, as your senior I forbid you to talk about ethiques until you are an adult. No kid deserves to become a pain in the ass like Julius.”

“-Heh-“ a chuckle escaped from Miguel, making Subaru turn to look at him with inquisitory eyes.

“What?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to insult you Subaru-sama.”

“I am not insulted, just curious, please continue.”

“Thank you?” the knight in training was still not adapted to Subaru’s unique act “I simply found funny for you to say that, because, and it’s embarassing for me to say this after all you are doing for me, but my favorite knight, is Julius Juukulius.”

“…”

Miguel didn’t know exactly what was that pushed him to admit this, probably the feeling that his time was coming, or the pressure the chaos in the city was afflicting to his psyche.

“I mean have you looked at him? He is composed, honest, diligent, fights for everyone, despite his background he embodies nobility better than almost anyone else. MUCH better than my family ever did for this country. I just wished I could have been even a fraction of the man he is one day, but now I am gonna die, and I am just going to be a stain in the name of my-”

“Hey, you will be a great knight,” Subaru intervened to stop his self-loathing “because you will make it, trust me. I have been through things like this before, it’s nothing we three can’t handle.”

Again, Miguel didn’t look fully convinced, the whole scenario around them sounded like end of the world material, where the capital would burn to the ground. The hero of priestella needed to make him feel comfortable, feel relaxed, and he might just have the key for the job.

Subaru looks around before whispering to the kid ”I will let you on a secret, but don’t tell anyone gotcha?”

The kid nods intrigued despite the little energy he has.

”Julius, he is my favorite too.”

“Really?”

“Cross my heart and die if I am lying. But don’t tell anyone!! Understood?”

“Understood, sir.” He leaned back his head to the ground to laugh at the sheer absurdity of what just happened, the greatest hero of the world looked up to the same knight as him, maybe it was a sign from the dragon that he did choose the right path. The kid in him couldn’t stop smiling overexcited.

“!” However something peaked his curiosity, so Daniel turned to ask the spirit currently healing him.

“Why does Subaru-sama, look so ashamed to admit it?”

“Because it’s a secret only if you asked Betty’s Subaru, I suppose.” She shrugged her shoulders since it was no big deal for her.

“Oh!” Despite not knowing anything about these people, Miguel had enough friends to know teasing material when he met it “I am so gonna tell everyone then.”

“Betty too, in fact.” She says with a ‘I knew it’ smirk.

“You know I can give you back your pain in this exact moment right?”

Hearing this the younf knight immediately froze up.

“I didn’t hear anything, I think my eardrums went off from the explosion.”

“Good boy.”

Chapter Text

Ok so after updating a few chapters I thought I should explain what exactly is the timeline of this post theatre world, or at least what are the guidelines to imagine how the characters are moving, I might even contradict it in the future, it’s more to give the idea.

When did the characters experience the theatre? On the trip towards Priestella

Does Subaru know about the theatre? This is a situation inspired (if not an half sequel) to The Secret, where they have a taboo themselves to stop the Witch from finding out, but Subaru started making sense of what happened, having the comfirm when he first died in Priestella.

What they watched? Only arcs 1-4, no ifs or future, I don’t want the characters to think about what might have become, I want them to focus on who Subaru is, and how they can help him.

Deaths in Priestella? Pretty similar to canon, Subaru just skipped the death where he went to face the Archbishop alone because he immediately teamed up with Rein, and then he went with Emilia, Lilliana and Priscilla. The rest of the saga is pretty identical, because in Canon Subaru wins it without any death, except for Sirius, and he had the balls to say “I am knight, I know the risks, don’t act like I need to be babisitted or we are gonna lose this badly.” So the characters didn’t fuck it up overall.

Others in and out Priestella?

• When Regulus came to fight Emilia and Priscilla, Sirius left to follow the gospel, so like in canon.
• The fight between the other three was INCREDIBLY destructive to the city block, without any damage inflicted to the archbishop, making Emilia very worried for the consequences. When Regulus rambled that he was just an honest man searching for an honest chaste wife, insults started between the three until Emilia asked “What’s a virgin?”, this was so amusing to Regulus that he didn’t want to waste such a beautiful girl on the battlefield (remember in canon Regulus says that Emilia not knowing what a virgin is, is a magnificent revelation, and her ideal woman) so Emilia makes a bargain to go with him if he won’t cause anymore destruction till the wedding, Regulus accepts saying that “He is a gentleman that wouldn’t violate anyone right’s if they respected his”
• Crusch does not get cursed with Dragon’s blood, because when she and Subaru attack the city hall they don’t go down that faster, however they still lose, and when Capella uses the dragon blood, she starts with Subaru (who is going to be fine as we know) and when she approaches Crusch, Priscilla arrives, she choose to be more proactive than in Canon, since this times she is in the battlefield from the start and she deduced the others would try to storm the city hall. She cuts Capella with her Yang sword, making her escape as her regeneration is fighting the fire of the magic and she doesn’t want to risk it with multiple enemies (she will survive no problem though).
• Subaru’s speech happen because everyone now is like “Yeah he has to do it”, though Al still gives them a reality check.
• Al still fights Capella because she still went to the city hall to “finish the job” with her other victims, even if Crusch is not here.
• Crusch fights Lye with Felt and Otto (in this version Beatrice stays with Subaru) but they don’t kill him because Louis still intervenes.
• Regulus and Sirius fights like in Canon.
• The Roy fights almost ends up as in canon (and he already ate Joshua) but at the last second Roswaal and the others from the mansion arrived, because the moment she woke up Rem wanted to meet Subaru, and they ended up driving Roy away.
• After the fight at the church Emilia finally confessed to Subaru, with all the wives asking to Beatrice how her parents weren’t together already.
• While the camps discussed what to do for the city and how to go to the Pledias Tower, Subaru and Rem had their reunion, reaffirming that he loves her and that he moved past what happened back at the mansion a long time ago.
• Reinhard is the one to slay Theresia, but after the theatre he is more emotionally open with Wilhelm so he doesn’t give a robotic answer, and they actually bond over the pain of what had to be done (Heinkel is confused as fuck).

How went the tower business? (so spoilers for arc 6 onwards from here)

• Group same as canon plus Crusch (Otto and Garfiel were still injured).
• Felix did not go with Crusch but stayed in Priestella to treat the hundreds of injured and he started experimenting to save those cursed with the Dragon’s blood if the Sage had no cure.
• The group was wary and antagonistic of Meili because the viewings, except for Subaru and Emilia, who were friendly, and Crusch, who was passive towards her, but understood that both she and Elsa were product of her enviroment rather than natural sadistics.
• Trying to defeat Reid Subaru went for his books, endending up Amnesiac state, and making the arc proceed as it happens in the official version but with some obvious differences from canon, since they know about him looping (as I have said in a previous chapter, this is a fic I might make one day so some details are still to be defined.)
• We still have the loop where Meili dies, and Subaru is the one to read her book (if not he doesn’t end up wanting to adopt her) since Amnesiac or not, Subaru’s willpower is still the strongest one.
• About Shaula and Louis, since Gluttonies still storm the tower, she might end up in the scorpion form anyway, but if Louis appear amnesiac, I don’t see a version where Subaru goes “That’s one of the Gluttonies” and one of his allies doesn’t just kill her in a fraction of a second (probably Rem did it, both for story irony and her hate for Archbishops) so I don’t see a way to have Spica in this version.
• Satella storming the Tower? Volcanica pushes her back. Subaru stays with the rest, he doesn’t end up in Vollachia through teleport. No I am not dealing with that, unless I make a change in the future. The whole arc 7-8-Grand Disaster business just doesn’t happen, because it would lead directly to arc 9 which leads to Tappei only knows what, and the idea of this fic is, they are in relax and therapy, so let's just end it here.

Post Tower?

• They had several more expeditions to the tower, they brought Felix, Reinhard and others trying to fix the Dragon mental state, or to search throught the tower books that had the knowledge they were searching for to heal the victims of Lust.
• Thanks to Rein telepathy they managed to discover the reason why the dragon didn’t intervene to save the royal family, the covenant promised to protect from external threats, while the killer of the family was Emerada Lugunica, the ex princess, today the Archbishop of Lust, an internal enemy against who the Dragon couldn’t intervene.
• This info shattered Felix and Crusch, but more than that it made them angry, swearing to kill Capella. When Subaru pushed Meili to comfirm that Capella was the Mama she talked about, the camps swore to kill her, however it would take many months of research to find her base, and weeks of preparation and strategy for when they attack said place.
• The minis takes place, either in the time before they learn the truth, in the months of preparation before the attack, or after they finally killed Capella, after which I have no current plan for what happens from here till the death of the Witch’s cult/end of the Royal Selection.
• The Crusch/Subaru relationship doesn’t evolve until the hunt for Capella, since before he was full time with both Rem and Emilia.
• He doesn’t even start having sex until after Capella, because before he was fine with Beatrice and Rem calming him down when he had nightmares, after the Capella fights and loops he got much worse, needing a “release” and a way to comfirm that his body was still his own. Some serious shit happened in those loops and even in the the final one that left him scarred, a lot, he got better over time but at first he needed help. (This hunt for Capella and Crusch/Subaru relationship is something I might explore one day in a fic.)
• He ended up absorbing the Lust factor which responded by letting his body work like an on/off switch, he can choose to make himself fertile or not to not impregnate his girls by mistake (though with Emilia and Rem low fertility sometimes he forgets to activate it), he can put his aging on stop if he doesn’t want to leave Emilia alone, and probably more but this is what he currently can do.

EDIT: Some chapters are set in the future, basically, if one of the girls is pregnant, the witch cult has been exterminated, Subaru is fully an Astrea or things like that seems like they are set in a time of peace, then it's because the main story has ended and they are enjoying said peace.

(Yes Subaru sometimes says "I am in their family" but let's say he is in there with the spirit, not legally yet.)