Chapter Text
She dropped her book bag at the door, kicking it shut behind her. Quick steps took her right to the window and, much as expected, there was Kanji Tatsumi. He had his book bag at his feet, leaning with his back against the wall of a small convenience store across the road. She was fairly certain he did not know which of the windows in her building showed her rooms, but he simply seemed to scan the entire building, taking it all in.
He had mentioned that someone had asked him to look after her. Who? Who would send him on such a fools errant? Firstly, no one she could think of would care either way. Secondly, no one who might possibly care knew of her inner turmoil.
Further, who would have enough power over the young man that he solemnly would follow her around, watching her every move like this? Could she hope that Yu-senpai actually had…? Did he still care enough to make sure he had someone watching over her? Surely Kanji would do this if Yu had asked him. Gladly even, because who wouldn’t wish to do what Yu asked with that soothing, calm voice when he talked to you…
Her phone rang and she quickly glanced at the display. Kujikawa. She ignored it.
The idol had started to make herself a nuisance. Part of the reason Naoto would spend more and more time in her apartment was that these four walls were the last sanctuary she had from the idol. She would attempt to ambush her on her way to school, in the building and when leaving. She had to adjust her routes five times already to ensure she could at least walk in peace. However, this was still foiled by Tatsumi, who seemed to find her no matter what she tried.
She turned again, looking outside.
And froze.
Tell-tale twin-tails informed her that Kanji was now talking to Kujikawa. She could tell even with her back turned to the building. Kanji started to straighten up slowly. He shook his head several times, now and again glancing at the building, then took a step back, away from the idol.
The junior detective frowned, moving her blinds a bit so she could see better.
The meddlesome idol punched his chest with two first and pointed at the apartment complex wildly. He turned away and scowled. Shook his head. She stomped her foot, slapping his arm. He flung both of his wide and Naoto would hear through the closed window: “She’s fine, okay? Leave her be!”
The high-pitched voice of the idol skipped as she raised her voice, too. “Fine? She’s anything but! Do something!”
His shoulders hunched forward again and he looked away. Their voices dropped and Naoto was unable to hear. Should she open the window? They must be discussing her.
Why is Kujikawa getting involved now? What more did she want of her? She already claimed Yu, and that thought alone pieced her to the bone, why was she trying to obsess over her now?
She saw the idol try to stand in front of his gaze, forcing him to look at her, but he kept turning away. Finally, he grabbed her by both shoulders and roared, loud enough to hear again. “Don’t you think I KNOW? Don’t you think I am worried sick already?!” There was a beat of silence. And they embraced.
Naoto’s jaw set and she turned from the window. She already had Yu. Was he not enough? Did the sweet teen idol require so much attention she needed more than just him? She would never treat him like that. She would never- Pointless. Let them try to mettle. She was exhausted.
Slouching through her living room, she walked into her kitchen, getting hot watcher for fresh coffee. She had homework to do. And there were some case files Grampa had send. She should also possibly run some laundry. She had things to do. If only she could stay awake. Or maybe she should just sleep early. She wasn’t sure yet. But some coffee would help.
Her phone rang. She ignored it. She had to ignore it several times, as a matter of fact, while waiting for her water to boil. Or close enough to a boil, anyhow. No need to scald myself.
She glanced at her phone to see the time, pointedly ignoring the list of missed calls by Kujikawa. Late afternoon. Where was Yu now? What would he be doing? Was he thinking of her like she was thinking of him? For the tenth time today she wondered if she should just send him a quick message. Nothing too soppy, naturally. Just something short. Just a reminder she was his.
That she was waiting for him.
That she missed him.
That she loved him.
Adding several spoonsful of sugar to her cup, Naoto sat down in her living room. She simply stared at her cup for a long while, stirring it while she let her thoughts drift from one random image to the next. The sheer overwhelming number of nightmares she kept having added up more and more inside of her. Her Shadow had become a nightly companion. And each dream ended with the one, the obvious answer.
She reached under her jacket and started unfasten her holster. School officials would surely not be too impressed of they knew she started to wear it to school. Algernon was still at home, but its holster gave her a sense of comfort. She knew she had the weapon. Knew she could still take the needed steps, if her Shadow had been right and there was no more reason to… Well.
Again her phone rang. A different ringtone, one she did not recognise. She should not have allowed Kujikawa to adjust her personal settings half a year ago. She glanced at the phone on her table and saw the display show ‘Tatsumi’.
She took a long, slow drink from her mug and stood, cradling the mug, as she peered outside.
Tatsumi held his phone to his ear, waiting. The ringing stopped, there was a brief perking-up of his posture. He had reached her voice mail. His shoulders sank. He shook his head and turned to Kujikawa, who whirled around and shouted “NAOTO-KUN!” at the top of her lungs, “ANSWER YOUR PHONE!”
A neighbour, who finally had enough, opened his window and shouted at them to be quiet.
Naoto turned from the window once more and dropped to her couch. She reached for her phone and turned it off to the day. No one of importance would call her, and she had no desire to be bothered by these two any longer. I am so tired of it. Maybe she should fall back on using the sleeping pills she started to use after her return from the abduction. The pills killed her dreaming, and she would just pass out and wake up the next day.
She drained her mug, set it down and got up, walking into her bathroom. Digging through her medication packages, she found she had two different sleeping aids to choose from. She grabbed both and walked back into her living room. She dropped the boxes on the table before turning and walking back into her kitchen. She would need more coffee to wash down the pills.
Out in the hallway, she heard someone bang open the door to the hallway, then barrel down it. The running stopped and there was banging on her door. "Naoto?"
Kanji. One day he might learn to reign his strength in just a bit.
The ‘knocking’ repeated. She continued to ignore it.
It simply continued. "Naoto? I know yer’re home, c’mon!" The knocking kept repeating, but he no longer called out. The force of his knocks subsided as she brewed her coffee and returned to her couch, sitting down. As she started to pop two pills each from the bubble-packs, she heard repeated knocking and variations on the theme of “answer your door”.
She didn’t want him. She didn’t want anyone. She wanted to be mistaken about Kujikawa and Yu. She wanted to no longer feel the barbed wire in her gut whenever she thought of either of them.
She caught the lie and closed her eyes. She did want someone. She wanted Yu. She wanted him near her, holding her, keeping her warm just one more night.
Staring at the pills in her hand, Naoto waited the young man at her door out. Somehow knowing Kanji stood outside made her hesitate. He needed to be gone first.
When she finally heard retreating footsteps, she cupped the pills in her hand and popped them into her mouth, draining her coffee. She wasn’t sure what the actual dosage should be, but it was a Saturday, she could sleep in tomorrow.
As she felt herself drift off, her thoughts returned to Yu-senpai, and she cried herself to sleep.