Work Text:
“N-Nukumizu…!”
He looks up from packing his bag to see Komari with a frown that looks less anxious than normal but more… unpleasant. “Yeah?”
“What h-happened to Yanami?”
“Hm? I’m not sure. Maybe she’s busy.”
Komari grabs his arm, preventing him from leaving the club room. “Be a good pr-president, N-Nukumizu! I-If she leaves because of y-you, I-I will blame you f-f-for the club dissolving.”
Blame me? Nukumizu deflates. “You and Yakishio-san would blame me regardless.”
She digs her nails into his arm. “S-Scum!”
“It’s fine, Komari! She’s probably just taking a break! She’ll stay!”
Komari lets go of his arm and flicks away her gaze. She grumbles, “I-It doesn’t f-feel like that…”
Nukumizu watches Komari slowly shuffle away and excuse herself.
He understands. He really does. It’s hard to say that things have been awkward in the Literature Club when Yakishio-san is busy with track and field and Yanami-san is… somewhere else.
In short, Nukumizu is being avoided. He was trying to be mature about things. After all, hearing what Yanami-san had to say about him stung and left him sore, but he thought they could carry on with everything else—being classmates, being clubmates…
In this empty club room, as the sun sits and slips away from the windows, Nukumizu finds himself feeling rather lonely. It’s a hollow feeling he’d come to learn recently, the one where something inside—something that he’d never had—was all of a sudden ripped out of him.
He pulls his bag onto his shoulder and makes off to go home. He waves slightly to Yakishio-san, who’s sprinting past him on the track. Even at this distance, Nukumizu can tell her smile is somewhat tight.
He knows his poor mood—the one from the changed behavior of his club mates and friends—will stick to him all the way home. Kaju will notice and say something, pitying him for sad friendships and difficult times. She’ll be nice as she always is, but it’s unwelcome.
Nukumizu is upset, and he doesn’t want to automatically be rid of it. After all, isn’t he justified in his reaction? He can’t handle this insinuation from everyone else that he’s the one at fault, that he made some mistake and needs to grovel for forgiveness. No, he won’t. Nukumizu is just a teenage boy who learned that an off-handed comment from a friend could hurt—a lot.
Nukumizu manages to put it aside for a while. He gets through returning home, dinner, Kaju sitting at his desk while he studies, returning to school, and all the way through the first few hours. Sure, Yanami-san is in his line of sight, but he’s a good enough student not to let it bother him.
At break, he goes out for a drink of water, and that’s when it—three days later—comes full-force.
“Hey, Nukumizu!” Hakamada shouts, catching Nukumizu’s attention with a wave.
“Oh. Hakamada.” He wipes his mouth from the crisp water at the far end of the first floor.
He leans against the water fountain, staring at passerbys chatting to friends. “Rough class today, huh?”
“I guess?” Nukumizu agrees thoughtlessly. The class was normal. He doesn’t know what Hakamada wants from him. Nothing good, I’m sure.
“I mean, the whole time, Anna was playing with her notes and yawning. I know she’s not much of a student, but she wasn’t even trying today!” Hakamada laughs.
Maybe it’s funny; Nukumizu doesn’t know. Probably, the laughter takes the edge off, but he isn’t easily convinced. So, he hums, passively agreeing.
“You don’t think so?” he asks.
“Oh, I mean…! I guess it’s pretty normal for Yanami-san to space out during class.”
“Yeah, but you two are fighting, aren’t you?”
He frowns.
“I won’t tell! I just mean, you can tell me. I have a lot of experience arguing with Anna, you know?” Hakamada smiles.
“That can’t possibly be something to brag about,” he inadvertently mutters. Realizing this, Nukumizu sighs as Hakamada waits expectantly, so, against his better judgment, he tells him.
Over the weekend, Yanami-san had invited Nukumizu to go shopping. It was a lot less of an invitation and more begging, pulling, and dragging Nukumizu through a shopping mall. He just wanted to spend the weekend catching up on the light novels he had let pile up. Instead, he spent Sunday afternoon following Yanami-san around with two armfuls of bags.
On his precious weekend, he’d been reduced to a gofer.
Despite his complaining, it was mostly good. He enjoyed spending time with Yanami-san. She did silly things and said even goofier things. Even if she was just 4K, she was nice to be around, so Nukumizu hardly had an issue after the first half hour.
Then, they stopped to check directions.
Nukumizu told her she was looking in the wrong place, and Yanami-san was sure she knew. It was there, stopped in the middle of the shopping mall, that their argument first began.
Yanami-san made a joke; Nukumizu responded with a quip. She turned back to the map, and he fixed the bags that dug into his arms. Someone approached.
It was a teenager not unlike them, Nukumizu realized without any fuss. He didn’t smile or nod, but it didn’t seem like he was looking at Nukumizu anyway.
That guy started laying it on thickly as he tried speaking to Yanami-san. It was irritating being stopped and bothered like that, but, more than anything, it was awkward. It seemed like this guy not only failed to acknowledge Nukumizu, but he didn’t even seem to realize a whole person standing right next to Yanami-san. Well, that’s normal for a background character.
In the end, Yanami-san flashed a smile and succinctly turned down that guy’s advances. He prodded a little more, and Nukumizu watched as her smile pinched uncomfortably. She put her arm through Nukumizu’s, bidding a terse goodbye to the flirtations, and walked off with Nukumizu. Spurred by some frustration, Yanami-san took them right out of the shopping mall.
After notifying her that she was tugging too hard and hurting his arm, Yamani-san let go with a huff. “I can’t believe that!”
Nukumizu set down the bags and rubbed his elbow. “Believe what?”
“That that guy… hit on me!”
“You said before that you’re popular and likable, didn’t you?” He shrugged. “What’s the big problem?”
She sighed and rolled her eyes as she set her hands on her hips. “That’s pretty insensitive, Nukumizu-kun! It’s not the same as friends inviting me to places or classmates asking for me. He shouldn’t have asked me out,” she grumbled. Yanami-san turned away with her arms crossed. “To think, in that guy’s eyes, it didn’t even look like you and me were on a date!”
Nukumizu raised an eyebrow. “Was that the goal?”
“I mean, isn’t it natural that, when a guy and a girl go shopping together, they might be on a date?”
“Right,” he agreed needlessly, “but we’re friends.”
“But it’s useful being seen like we’re dating to certain people.” She glanced at Nukumizu. “In that way, you’ll probably never get a girlfriend, Nukumizu-kun, being all unimpressive around girls and going on friend dates with girls.”
Nukumizu frowned. He hadn’t really heard that last part. Instead, her previous comment stuck with him.
“What is it?” Yanami-san asked, noticing his discomfort.
“We’re friends, right? You said so yourself. So why does it sound like there’s no point in being friends?”
Yamani-san gaped. “What? No point? What do you mean, Nukumizu-kun?”
He scratched his head. “I know you say some ridiculous things sometimes, but… I’m not good at this, Yanami-san.”
“Good at what?” she wondered nervously.
“Being friends. That’s what I thought we were. That’s what we agreed we were.”
“You’re… right… What’s wrong?”
He made sure to muster up all the courage he’d stored for all the friendships he never had; he forced himself to maintain eye contact with Yamani-san as he said, “It feels like our friendship exists to stop you from being hit on. No,” he corrected, “now, it feels like I’m the only one invested in our friendship.”
“You said that?” Hakamada’s eyes are wide as the bell chimes.
Nukumizu nods.
“Whoa, you actually said that…” Hakamada realizes. “Hey, but don’t you think that’s unfair? I doubt Anna meant it that way.”
He frowns, eyes resolutely in front of him as they walk to class. “I told Yanami-san what I thought and how uncomfortable it made me. She kept trying to explain herself; it didn’t feel sincere.” Nukumizu usually gets a sincere, honest version of Yanami-san, though, recently, he isn’t sure what that means. Besides, he didn’t even get an apology for it—not that he’d tell Hakamada that.
“She’s a bit of a tsundere that way,” Hakamada comments. “She likes you. You’re her friend. Besides, you’re both miserable right now, so you should really resolve this.”
Nukumizu pulls a face, staring at this male love interest. “Miserable? I’m not miserable. What are you talking about?”
He claps him on the shoulder. “You’re a smart guy, Nukumizu. I’m sure you can figure it out!”
Really, it isn’t high up on his list of priorities. At the very least, he wants to be able to ask Amanatsu-sensei questions about the course content without her yelling that he’s a spy trying to steal Byzantine secrets.
Whatever, because Yanami-san never speaks about it. She starts showing up to the club again—Komari is grateful, although still wary. Yanami-san keeps a professional distance from Nukumizu, not that he’d ever considered her the professional type.
And, when Yakishio-san returns to the club from her sports-related hiatus, she cracks jokes about the atmosphere of the club, though it never changes. Yanami-san just says something small like, “It’s best not to ask too much of Nukumizu-kun, you know,”
Nukumizu really doesn’t know what to make of that. Was she asking too much of him? Is he asking too much of her? No, it really isn’t. If that’s Yanami-san’s decision, that’s fine. Nukumizu had spent 15 years of his 15-year life without friends—this one will just be one of many; it isn’t a big deal.
The door slams shut.
Nukumizu looks at it. “Komari, is something wrong?” He glances back at Yanami-san, who remains looking at a book on the shelf.
“Y-Y-You need to talk! M-Me and Ya-Yakishio decided you’re n-not leaving u-until you fix this!” she whisper-yells through the shut door.
“Komari!” Nukumizu protests, yanking the door open.
“Nu uh, Nukkun!” Yakishio-san adds, obviously using her infinite strength to keep the door closed. “You’ve gotta talk it out, you know? Be grown-ups about it! Because right now, you’re being a bad friend.”
He keeps his eyes on the door as he struggles with the handle. “I doubt we’re friends. Besides, this isn’t any of your business.”
“You’re being a bad friend to us,” she adds.
“We’re club mates and classmates,” he corrects.
Muffled by the door, Komari makes a feral, hissing sound, like a cat being yanked by the tail. Somehow, at the same time, Nukumizu can imagine Yakishio-san’s stern, but patient, smile drop.
“That’s not a nice thing to say, Nukkun.” She knocks on the door. “Tell him, Yana-chan.”
Nukumizu looks behind him to find Yanami-san staring hesitantly. He doesn’t know what that means. He’s too concerned with her expression to comprehend the footsteps on the other side of the door disappearing.
“Even if we’re not friends, you’re supposed to listen to people,” Yanami-san finally says. “That’s basic respect. Like when I explain to you what I was thinking or why I did something.”
Nukumizu frowns. “I heard you. You said it was a pain to be hit on, that it was handy hanging out with me instead of girls because maybe it’d look like you had a boyfriend. But I’m not your boyfriend, Yanami-san. And I can’t be a stand-in for when it’s convenient.”
“I know that.” She pouts. “I said I was sorry.”
He shakes his head. “You told me why you did it. That’s not the same thing. I’m sorry that guys flirting with you makes you uncomfortable, but it isn’t fair. You always say you rejected me when all I asked was to be your friend.”
She hangs her head. “Mhm. I know. I’m really sorry about that. I didn’t think about it. I thought it would be okay to say or feel. You usually think nothing of the stuff I say. I thought you’d just think it was odd and move on.” Yanami-san looks up, catching Nukumizu’s gaze. She tilts her head. “You’re surprisingly sensitive.”
“What does that mean?”
“That you feel more than you let on. And that you notice more than you think you do.”
“I’m really not,” he counters.
She shakes her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice that sooner.”
Hey, what was it about listening to other people?
“I’ll do better in the future. I promise.”
“Why would you? I’m just a background character, Yanami-san. You don’t need to worry about this.”
She scowls. “I never understand what you mean by that—background character this, mob character that! You’re my friend because you’re Nukumizu-kun, that’s all! Don’t you feel the same way?”
He hesitates. “I’m not sure. Yanami-san is just Yanami-san.”
She nods. “That’s why you’re friends with me. Not because of what people think I am or who I know.”
Nukumizu adds, “What people think you are tends to be deceptive anyway.”
Yanami-san pouts. “I have a feeling that isn’t very kind, so I’m going to ignore it. I just need you to know—“ she sternly catches his gaze, “—I didn’t become friends with you because I wanted something from you, and I’m not still your friend because there’s something I want. I just like that Nukumizu-kun is Nukumizu-kun.” She maintains eye contact as she says, “I’m sorry that I made you feel some other way.”
He hums. “Okay.”
She leans forward. “Okay?” She bats her eyes, imploring.
“Thank you for saying that, Yanami-san.”
“Does that mean we’re still friends?”
He shrugs. “I’m not sure.”
“Have some more confidence in yourself, Nukumizu-kun!” She grins and slaps his shoulder.
Ouch!
“You’re the club president, after all! We’re counting on you. Ah, but you shouldn’t forget that you can rely on us. Because we’re friends.” Yanami-san holds out her little finger. “Friends, right?” she asks warily.
He stares at her pinky. Then, Nukumizu takes it. “Right, friends.”