Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The cool evening breeze wafted in from the open window. Smells of life and the sounds of evening happenings steadily trickle into the stately old motel room. 

People drinking and betting down at the parlor across the street added to the cacophony of sounds. Can-can dancers tapped away, and belting out their tunes while others chatted and found their clients for the evening. The entertainment district was awakening, and the red lanterns being refilled with oil by attendants indicated the nightlife was in full swing. 

This was the seedy part of town, the part where folks who showed up to church on Sunday never admitted coming to. The part of town the elders had advised you against ever venturing to. Your friends at the academy had all been cautioned to stay away from here, unless they themselves wanted to become part of the nightly attractions.

You stir in bed, sitting up with a start as you rub at the dull ache in your head. Much has happened today, and you are still coming to grips with everything that had transpired. Your eyes wearily look up at the flimsy wooden partition that served as a barrier between you and the other occupant of the room. Through the darkness of the room, your eyes strain. 

Beyond the flimsy partition, he sat in a rickety wooden chair that leaned up against the door. His rather expensive cowboy hat was tipped over his eyes, while his dark bangs and clean undercut framed his slim features. He was propped back against the creaky chair, as he drew slow, even breaths. 

You noticed his hand rested in his coat pocket, clasping the revolver beneath the fabric of his thick coat. For a moment, you wondered if he had fallen asleep while sitting there. It had been a long day, and your introduction had been less than ideal. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

The auction hall was heavy with energy. The smell of tobacco and flowing aged bourbon filled the bustling hall. The debutants and wealthy collectors chattered amongst themselves as you sat in your enclosure, shackles around your dainty wrists and ankles. You were behind drawn curtains as you looked to the rusted bars that kept you enclosed. Beyond the cage, you could only make out the voices of potential buyers and your handler discussing your worth.

Your handler hadn't even given you the courtesy of knowing his name. The older man with an unkempt mustache, dressed in all manner of finery, only appeared when there was an inquiry as to your pedigree. Something he made sure to always discuss out of earshot. 

You had been washed roughly by faceless women, who cursed under their breath as they combed out your matted hair, which had been shampooed with lavish oils and soaps that would have been well beyond your means. Quietly, you looked down and patted at the frilly dress they had set you in, with your hair picked up and drawn back with gaudy pins.

You caught a glimpse of yourself in the metal pitcher of water they had mercifully set on a stool in your enclosure. They had transformed you into what was auctioned off every night, a doll. Nothing more, nothing less. Your exotic tan skin was a contrast against the dull grey Victorian dress they had set you in. This was a far cry from the impoverished attire you had been used to or the rich and traditional attire of your past.

Shaking you from your thoughts, the lights dimmed, and a hush fell over the crowd. You took in a gulp of air and shut your eyes as the curtain was finally drawn and blinding lights obscured your vision. 

The sounds of gasps and cheers erupted from the hall that had been packed to the gills on this particular evening. Apparently, you were something of a rarity, of even more scarce stock, mythical even. 

“Now, there’s a good girl. Go on and open your eyes and give these fine gentlemen a smile. Some have come from ‘round the world to see you tonight.” You recognized the voice of your handler and knew that his showmanship was a mask for the promise of cruelty in store for you if you didn’t do exactly as he commanded. 

So you did as he had asked, you gently opened your eyes, trying to adjust to the blaring lights. You then tilted your lips into a delicate yet hollow smile— one fitting of the role you were instructed to play. Gasps and whistles ripped out of the men as they took in the sight of you and the way you were commanded to sit. 

You could hear the ravenous whisperings of men who were sent alight by the mere glimpse of your ankle. The thought of all the shared glances turned your stomach. Despite the inevitability of the auction, you held your head up proudly, refusing to yield to the hand that fate had dealt you.

“Alright, gentlemen, order, maintain order! The auction will now begin.” Your handler said as he entreated the room. Soon, voices and clamor settled as the air went thick with anticipation. 

You sat tightly against your seat, jaw lightly tensing as one by one men would raise their hands— jeers and clamor began to settle between the men. The auctioneer spoke quickly in a language only he and those poised to purchase understood. The words twisted into sounds that made your head spin. You could hardly believe the words were spilling so quickly out of the pot-bellied man’s mouth as his voice resounded around the hall.

For a moment, there was a lull, and you were certain you were about to be sold. This was the same lull you had heard moments before your friends and acquaintances had been packaged up and sold away. The auctioneer was wrapping up the call for bids when, suddenly, from the back of the room, a bid caught the attention of men who seemed to all stand up and call out in outrage. The crowd protested the price and began to whine aloud as your handler vied for order. 

The auctioneer seemed to whistle in amusement at the scene beginning to unfold. It was a battle of wills as two men steadily placed their offers for you in rapid succession. Off to the side, a woman called out, placing her own offer, to which the crowd nearly boiled over in uproar as glasses of whisky and brandy were hurled at the stage. 

“If we do not maintain order, she’ll be sold to no one! And to the lady who just placed her offer— her coin is just as legitimate as any of your own, so either pay up or shut up!” Your handler said venomously, his mask falling momentarily as he patted his tie to settle himself. He was bristling from beneath his mustache as he placed a hand on the bars of your enclosure.

 He whispered to you, his breath reeking of cherry cigars. 

“You are going to fetch me the highest price yet— though I can’t imagine why they would want a filly like you for such a price? You are a dime-a-dozen out on the prairie. Could buy the town two times over with this kind of money,” He chuckled as the bidding continued. 

Your brow furrowed as rage burned in your veins. Pulling your arms upward, you struggled against your chains, his words prodding you like a hot poker. This was a sight that made your handler’s wicked hazel eyes twinkle. 

“Now there’s the spirit. Nothing better than a woman who has a little bite to ‘er.” 

A slam reverberated throughout the hall, as a trunk of gems, jewelry, and coins thudded onto the stage. The crowd went silent as the auctioneer immediately called off all other bets. The sheer magnitude of the wealth on display caused throats to go dry. The spectacle of a man with glasses, blond hair, a thick mustache, and a shaggy beard stood up. He began parading up and down the first row in a way that commanded everyone’s attention.

The man was clearly dressed in all of his finery and military garb, all of which was befitting of royalty. Indeed, you had only heard of royalty like this in the books your primary school teachers had read to you. He was a foreign dignitary who seemed to have an icy edge behind his gleaming blue eyes and clinical metal glasses. Something about the sight of him turned your stomach in on itself, despite him appearing to be charming and poised. 

“Ah, Zeke. Well done, ‘fer yerself. Let’s take you back to the parlor and discuss the particulars.” Your handler said as he rubbed his greedy hands together. The man only known as Zeke looked back at you, a calculating smile on his lips as he held up his glass as if to toast with you. A huff left your lips as you looked upon your potential “owner” with eyes set with disgust. 

He was one of the voices who had clearly been bidding against the other man calling out from the back of the room. Zeke’s voice was poised and precise as he replied to the handler nonchalantly. He followed him out of the auction hall and into the back offices without delay. Men began to rise from their seats as they began to discuss the heated auction.

The stage lights began to shift from you to light the hall. In the daze, you hadn’t noticed that a dark figure had come to stand right at the edge of the stage. Time seemed to slow despite the overstimulating mass of men beginning to shuffle about in the crowd. He wore dark clothing, boots, and a long overcoat that helped him to blend into the darkness of the room. He was dressed as if he had just dismounted a horse— clearly a rider, what people on the reservation had called a cowboy . 

He held his black cowboy hat neatly tucked under his arm, politely tipping his head to you as you both locked eyes. 

His blue-grey eyes highlighted his dark locks. His skin was marble against his long, dark, and dramatic coat. There was something different about him; you knew what it was like to see a man who was hungry for even a peek of skin, something forbidden. This interaction was not that. Something like an apology read in his glance as he looked up at you in your enclosure. He seemed to be taxed as his brow was knit into what looked like pain. He found himself inspecting the cage, his glance trailing over the places you were bound. He was silent, seeming to be considering, calculating. That’s when his brow began to raise as his lips pursed into a scowl.

He seemed to grit his teeth at seeing the placard that was out of your view, a “description of goods” as your handler had called it. However, as soon as his anger seemed to emerge, it was gone. His face became stoic and unreadable. He closed his eyes and sighed— it seemed that whatever decision he had been trying to make had been settled.

A woman with glasses came to stand by his side, and she bent down to hear whatever he whispered to her. Her once carefree disposition seemed to be snuffed out by whatever he had said to her. Her eyes seemed to go wide before he turned sharply and disappeared into the crowd. 

She turned back to look at you, tension clear in her features as she seemed to take a deep breath and collect herself. Soon, she too made her way into the crowd— taking an unknown man’s arm and gesturing to the bar. This moment, like so many others, would blend into the past, pass into nothingness. You were just sold, and that was that… your fate had been decided.

Before you could have a breather, you were being pedaled off stage. Your cage was being rolled into the back, where all the other goods were stored— the next auction and bidding would take place soon.  

You sat in your enclosure, darkness all around in the dimly lit chamber filled with goods, creatures, humans, and all manner of libations. It was there that you mentally prepared yourself to see the deed, with your name being held up to your cage as your handler would pass you off to your final resting place. Desperation filled you as you stood and pulled against the chains that dug into your ankles and wrists as you pulled. Despite the finality of it all, something in you drove you to keep fighting. To desire life beyond whatever cage “living” had been up until this point. 

You reflected on your childhood, safely nestled with the village elders as they danced around the fire and told stories about the prophecy and hope that was to come. The spirits of the earth, wind, fire, and water. Spirits that were there at the beginning of time and had formed all the creatures that walked along the land and filled the seas, and lakes. You were meant to be as free as the hawk and as playful as the raven. Mean to run free like the horses of the plains, and migrate like the elk of the mountains. 

This cage and confinement were not meant to define you and who your people were. Like a coyote caught in a snare, whatever fight was left caused you to struggle against the cruel chains. 

This can’t be it. It’s not supposed to end like this. It can’t end like this. The words swirled in your mind, silent prayers, to your ancestors lifted up through the sounds of your chains as you wrestled with their confinement. 

In your struggle, the door to the chamber was opened, and the sound of something being dragged in could be heard. You heard silent shuffling before footsteps headed towards you. Soon the steps settled as a dark figure stood before you. They were near silent as they hovered close, fiddling with the locks of your cage.

“So, do you want out of this shithole?” The voice asked with a smooth and steady tone as key after key was rammed into the locks that adorned your cage. There was the faintest hint of an accent in his voice, largely unnoticeable. 

The words came as a shock. A gasp left your lips as you tried to snap yourself into focusing on what was said.

“W-what do you mean?” Your voice was tentative as adrenaline began to pump through your veins. Shock was preventing you from grasping what was happening.

“I said, do you want out of this shithole? Thought that was pretty clear,” The voice said, unwavering as a padlock fell to the ground. The darkness, coupled with the speed at which everything was happening, made your head spin.

“But, how? Why?” You can’t help but ask, still in disbelief, as the stranger’s hands began to come into view.

“Beg yer pardon? Why the hell does that even matter? It’s a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. It’s either ‘yes’, and I continue to fiddle with these troublesome locks ‘n get you anywhere that isn’t here, or it’s a ‘no’ and I let you rot in here and be sold off to that silver-spooned German. The choice is yours.” The male voice said gruffly. There was an air of annoyance creeping through in his tone. Another lock fell to the ground with a loud thud as he began to fumble with the next lock. 

He was breaking you out? He was going to give you a chance at… freedom? It was at that moment that a soft, warm light began to glow from your fingertips, and the darkness began to illuminate. Imagining life beyond this enclosure, beyond what you had been taught at the academy, a life that was filled with what your ancestors said it could be like, made you tremble at the prospect. Your hands began to glow brighter still.

Your savior’s features soon came into view as his blue-grey orbs seemed to widen in surprise. It was the man you had seen out on the showroom floor. His angular features and fair complexion were on display as the warm light bathed his face. He had changed into an auction house attendant’s clothing— surely to be able to make it this far into the storehouse. However, you knew it wouldn't be long before they would be aware they were short an attendant. Despite appearances, security worked diligently on nights like this. 

His brow furrowed as he made quick work of the last locks and stepped into the cage as he began to undo your clasps. 

“Tch, I’m going to take yer lack of protest as a response,” He muttered as he finally undid the clasps around your legs. Before he could ask any questions, the glow of your hand dissipated. 

“Follow me, we’ve got to get ya dressed in something less conspicuous.” His calloused hand gently reached for yours as darkness filled the room. The warmth of his hand in yours was stabilizing. He helped to usher you out of the oppressive cage and into a corner of the storage room behind some animal cages, and out of sight of the entrance.

“Alright, here— get this on and tuck that mane of yours into that hat as much as you can. Once you’re ready, we’ve got to hightail it outta here.” He said as he shuffled around and began to consider his next moves. He spoke evenly as he strained through the dark of the room.  

“I’ll keep my eyes on the door, you focus on getting dressed. Besides, I am not like one of those pigs out in the show hall.” He said gruffly as he kept his back to you, indicating that you needn’t worry about another peeping tom. He angled himself so he was between you and the entrance. His stance was stiff, ready to move quickly if needed. You were beginning to get that sense that he had done something like this many times before. 

Soon, you had pulled on the button-up, fingers racing to get every button done and pull on the pants and suspenders. The scent of pine and cedar filled your nostrils as you put on the jacket, boots, and riding gear. It had been ages since you had scented cologne. Feeling the warmth of the fabric, you could tell this was the clothing he had been wearing when he sighted you up on stage. 

Your hands fumbled with the clasps in the dark. Before you could protest, he had turned around and begun to help adjust all the straps with care, making sure the chaps and spurs sat affixed to your form. Once he seemed satisfied, he clicked his tongue in approval. 

“We don't have much time, let’s go.” He said with a start as he took your hand again and began to conduct you through the dark. 

“But, we can’t leave them,” You said, as you struggled after him in the dark. You gestured to the silent prisoners and crawling creatures in their cages. 

“Hmph, think we have time to be bothered with the others in this freakshow?” The stranger balked as he continued to pull you along. Finding your nerve, you halted, standing firmly in place, and he was forced to snap around back at you. 

“Aw, hell. We don’t have time for this, get going!” He said with frustration creeping into his tone. 

“If we don’t free them, we’re no better than the men that run this place.” You said as a pinprick of light shone through your hands again, highlighting his features that were tight with indignation. 

For a tense moment, you both glanced at each other, the people and creatures in cages peering at you both with longing. The light in your hands and fingers began to dim. You saw something flicker in the stranger’s eyes before he ran his fingers through his hair and tossed the keys into an enclosure of teens that were huddled together. 

“Fine, y’all make sure to free the others, or not. I don’t care. Whether you make it out of here or not isn’t my problem.” The stranger said gruffly as he took your wrist in his hand and began to speed towards the door. Before you could thank him, he shot you a look that seemed to say ‘not another damned word’.

Despite his rough nature, it seemed he did have a heart.

“Once we leave here, you’ve got to keep your head down and your face out of view. I’ll do the talkin’, alright?” He said as he took hold of the door handle. You manage to whisper a quiet affirmation before he nods at you and opens the thick wooden doors to reveal the ornate hallway leading to the parlor’s back rooms. These were reserved for the wealthiest of clients. 

Lanterns burned brightly, and new gas technology kept the wealthier parts of town lit well into the evening. The hallway was bright as they stepped through the corridors cautiously. Your eyes followed the purposeful steps of his feet. In the light, you could see the dress shirt and suit he wore were much too big; he had done his best to tuck in the seams, giving the impression of pleats. The plain tie and suspenders were also tightened to their max. Whoever he had taken the clothing from had been much larger than him. 

Open doors littered the corridors, and the sounds of all manner of debauchery poured out of them. This hallway was bathed in soft red light, the lanterns donning red glass. Muffled sounds of pleasure and groans filled the hall— along with the sounds of men laughing and exchanging coin. You could feel your cheeks begin to heat, as room by room, the sounds worsened.  

“Eyes forward, shoulders back, one step at a time.” The stranger said up and over his shoulder as he peered back at you. Despite his stoic expression, he tilted his head, gesturing to the nearing stairs. This was his attempt at bringing you back to the present moment, grounding you. 

Once you were down the stairs, you just had to make it out of the lobby and past the bar. 

You both edged closer to the stairs, nearly home free. Just a couple more steps. 

“Hey, waiter boy, attendant, whatever the hell you're called. Come over here!” Your savior froze, his shoulder going slack as he turned on a dime, not before he gestured for you to continue to make your way down the stairs without him.

“Yes, Sir. How may I help you?” He managed to grit out as politely as he could. 

“The boys and I need a bottle or two of champagne, hurry it up, would ya?” The man said, sticking his arm out of the last room of the corridor, waving crisp bills between his fingertips. 

“Why of course, Sir. Right away.” He said as coolly as he could as he collected the payment and tucked it into his breast pocket with a scowl. He began to make his way without another word when one of the men grunted, poking his head out to inspect who had collected the cash. 

Reiner’s brow raised as he strained for a moment. He considered and stewed as he tried to fight through his drunken haze to recognize the familiar voice and silhouette of the attendant before him. Bertolt seemed to notice his quandary as he waved his hand before Reiner’s eyes. 

“Hey, you are dragging down the mood, and the ladies are on the way,” Berthold said as he passed Reiner his drink. 

“Could have sworn I recognized…” Reiner said, voice trailing off as the lead attendant popped into their room. 

“Please forgive the delay, gentlemen; we have some new workers on the floor this evening. I’ll take your orders myself.” The lead attendant said with a polite bow. 

“But a guy just took our order,” Reiner blurted as he scratched his head. Both he and Bertolt arose with a start. 

“Gentlemen, I can assure you no one has been by. I was hoping to bring you complimentary drinks and food on the house for the mix-up in our kitchen. Especially because your Host Zeke has already spent so much money—” The man was cut off abruptly, lifted off the ground by his collar by Reiner, shaking him in his drunken stupor. Bertolt was aghast as he tried to calm down Reiner and get him to set the man down.

“What games are you playing? We are here on a diplomatic trip, and one of your guys, a short one, came by to collect payment and get us our champagne!” 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

You had managed to make it down the stairs without much fuss. Tensely, you kept your head down as you walked past dignitaries and politicians alike. All of these people you knew were part of the city council, and it seemed they were here at the auction house looking to acquire something exotic.

A hand pressed itself at the small of your back, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin. 

“C’mon. Let’s get out of here before everything goes to shit. Doubt, your sideshow freaks will keep out of trouble for long,” The familiar voice of the man who had freed you from your enclosure had said. He was donning a fresh suit to blend into the aristocratic crowd.

It was well taken care of and tasteful— black, with the inner shirt a that was a slate grey that made the blue in his eyes pop despite the dark circles underneath his eyes. He had a black cowboy hat he tipped at you before he set it on his head as he inspected you. He had on cowboy boots made of black leather, a silver belt buckle with the insignia of wings brandished on it, suspenders, and impeccably ironed black trousers that completed the look. The sight made your mouth and throat go dry as you gulped. 

You supposed that anyone willing to save your life would instantaneously become more attractive. Surely there had to be an allowance for that right? He stepped ahead of you, his brow quirking as he picked up on how your eyes had lingered longer than intended. You followed after him without a word as you both had managed to successfully make it out of the auction hall. 

Or at least, that’s what you both had thought when you mounted his horse, a stately black mare with a single streak of white down the center of its muzzle. 

No sooner had he helped you onto his horse than the hall broke out into bedlam. Men and women ran, screaming from the building as fireworks began to fizzle and pop out from the kitchen, and into the main hall. 

“Goddamn it, I asked for a distraction— not a whole production. Fer fucks sake Hange.” He muttered under his breath and hopped onto the horse, firmly settling you between his legs and wrapping his arm around your waist. He took the reins in his other hand, and he willed the mare to charge forth into the night.

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

“You had better be getting some sleep. Tomorrow we’ve got to get goin’ before dawn.” The man said as he stretched lazily in his seat and shook you from your reverie.

“Thank you,” You managed to squeak out, as you looked over to the partition and looked down at your bedsheets. Despite yourself, tears began to stream down your face. The stranger heard the small sniffles and hitch of your breath as you began to cry. 

“Thank you for saving me.” Your words are watery this time, as tears fell down your face. You were in this room and on this bed, well away from your captors, because this man had intervened. 

“Tch, save your tears for the journey, and your thanks for when you actually are out of the frying pan. We’ve got to get you at least a couple of towns over, to make sure they don’t come looking for ya.” He said in a drawl, as if he was doing something as mundane as reading the paper. There was a pause as he listened to the sounds of your sniffles become steady. That’s when you could hear him shuffle behind the partition. 

He came to stand by your bedside, sighing as he looked down at you. Your view of him was obscured by the tears that openly fell. Had he been exasperated? Had he been angry? Was he losing his patience? Some part of you braced, expecting what your handler and others had done in the past. They would expect you to stuff away your feelings as the world changed around you.

It was at that moment he extended his hand slowly, a handkerchief between his delicate finger tips as he presented it to you, setting it down on the sheets beside you. It seemed the stranger was grateful for the dimly lit room as he loomed over you pensively. The blow you expected never came; instead, you were met with an awkward attempt at understanding, comfort.

“Look, I’m no good at this type of thing. Besides, anyone with common sense woulda have done the same and gotten you outta there.” He said with his tenor becoming as soft as he could will it.

“Now then, no more fuss. Get some shut eye— or you’ll really feel like shit when I drag you out of bed tomorrow morning.” 

You nodded at his words and tried, hiccuping as you attempted to halt your tears. Years of built-up tension had mounted and released at this very moment. Silently, the stranger stood, a silent witness to the cascade of emotions that crashed over you. The memories began to roll as the vision of having been taken from your village as a child flashed in your eyes. You could see your people divided and bound, your time at the academy, and all the way to the present, being plucked away and being sold to the highest bidder. You trembled as you began to sob. 

He never left your side, another kindness afforded to you in a single night by this stranger. He leaned against the wall between the windows. The moon waned and fell as the night dragged on. 

You dried your tears as you fell back against the pillows, finally exhausted from the release of years. Sleepiness burned heavily behind your eyes. The line between dream and wakefulness began to blur. 

Blue-grey eyes peered back at you as he reclined against the wall, ever the motionless sentinel. His gaze was intense, unwavering as he seemed to be lost in thought.

“Goodnight, Mister… mister?” Your voice teetered sleepily.

“Ackerman. Levi Ackerman. No need for the title. Never been much for pleasantries.” He said gruffly as he tipped his head in your direction and disappeared behind the partition, leaving you to fall into a heavy sleep that caused the world around you to fade to black. 

Chapter Text

The morning air was cool and crisp against your skin. The stars were barely visible in the deep purple sky as the moon began to wane with the first signs of daybreak. The wake-up had not been easy. It had felt as if you had barely shut your eyes when a hand on your shoulder stirred you awake. 

You knew it was time to get ready and go. To where exactly, it was still unknown. 

Levi was already well at work. He stood between his mare and a new horse, adjusting rope, saddles, and harnesses between them. 

“Still gotta pony this one,” he said to you as he adjusted the ropes around the chocolate-brown horse’s neck. It huffed and pushed its muzzle against his hands. Its nose and feet faded into a gradient of black against its brown fur, a grand-looking stallion. Levi tutted as he nudged its nose away and inspected the ropes between the stallion and his mare. 

“That should do it,” He said, satisfied with the knots and bindings. He extended his hand to you to help you mount. As you settled onto the saddle, you took a glance at your surroundings. 

The red light district was winding down, the red lanterns going out one by one as the oil waned. You looked around, a bit of nerves causing your blood to grow cold. You wrapped his coat around your shoulders, trying to warm yourself against the realization that you were leaving behind everything you knew. This town, the academy, and memory of you and your friends from the reservation huddled together in bunk beds for warmth on cold nights, or stealing sugar from the storehouses to melt it down into caramel by candlelight.

It wasn’t all bad, or so you told yourself, trying to shut out the memories of being “disciplined” by the teachers at the academy for speaking your native tongue. The offense easily ensured that you were beaten with switches and rods for a week. Or being taught that the Americans lived a more “dignified” life, versus what you had known as a child back in your village, miles away from this place. 

You knew otherwise. You could recall lush green pine trees and vast open plains. People laughed and joked around the fire, as the elders and village women tended to you, a young child. The smell of roasting meat and damp earth filled your senses. 

The horses breaking into a trot brought you back to reality as you took hold of the rope at your stallion’s neck.

“Hold on tight, we’ve gotta make decent progress to the next fort,” Levi said, as he held the reins to both horses in his hands, urging along your stallion with a simple wooden switch. 

Without so much as a second thought, you both began to ride past the outskirts of town onto the main road that was devoid of its usual bustle.

Beyond this was the unknown, dirt, and blue skies. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

A ways off the main road, it was finally time for the first meal of the day. A small stream flowed not too far away from where the horses were hitched to a stump. It seemed they, too, were grateful for the opportunity to graze in the warmth of the sun. 

You rubbed your back and bottom, clearly not used to the number of hours you two had spent riding along in relative silence. 

“C’mere. I’m going to put you to use and to show ya how to get a fire started.” Levi muttered as he chewed on a piece of sweet, long grass. He shuffled off his coat and hat, setting them out on a blanket he had set out for you both to sit on. The sun glinted off his pistols that were set firmly into their dark leather holsters. 

As he crouched down and gestured for you to follow. He produced a flint from his pocket and then pulled one of the many blades from holsters that lined his chest. You were beginning to get the impression that Levi had a very particular way of life. 

“See, take some of this dry grass for kindling, then you take yer blade like this and strike your flint against it at an angle,” Sparks flew from the blade as he struck it. After a couple of minutes, a small plume of white smoke began to emerge. He leaned down, blowing into the budding flame as it began to pick up, and he tossed more dried grass onto it. 

“Grab some of the dried bark off that tree and it’ll really get goin’,” He said as he fed it some twigs and grass. Returning with more pieces of wood and sticks, he seemed to be pleased. A small ghost of what could be considered to be a smile, picking up at the corner of his lip. 

“Good, you follow directions better than those brats that used to work under me. Just toss some of them in, and I’ll go and nab the kettle.” 

As he stepped away, that’s when you began to really take in your setting. Lush green plains extended as far as the eye could see. The scene was picturesque, serene even as you tossed some more twigs into the small flame—no expectations, no chains, no men or women barking orders at you. You rolled up your sleeves, still wearing the clothing he had given you the night prior. Evidence of your past, the harsh red bruises and scuffs from the chains that had bound you were still there.

Your mind wandered to the auction hall, back to Independence. Had the children and others made it out of the hall? What of your handler? Was he furious? What would it have been like if you had let yourself be sold to the German dignitary? You sat down on the spread blanket to center yourself.

Would they come looking for you? What had that man Zeke’s intentions been with you anyway? The haunting presence of that glowing red hallway in the back rooms left you feeling sick, remembering the terrible things you had heard coming from the rows of open doors. You could feel your hands begin to go clammy and tremble despite the warmth of the growing flame. 

You let out a yelp as a red apple was tossed against your lap.

“Didn’t mean to spook you. You look like shit—“ Levi’s voice cut in as he set the kettle down against some of the hot ashes. Indeed, you had gone pale, taking a steadying breath as you sat back and looked up at him.

“You’ve got to grow thicker skin. One early morning, and you already feel like wilting?” He said with a hint of scorn as he set some herbs into two metal cups. 

“It’s not that,” You murmured back as you took the apple into your hands and began to feel anger tickle in your gut. His moods and remarks weren’t doing much to soothe your nerves.

“Then, what is it?” He said as he poked the flames idly. 

“Are we not going to talk about yesterday and how risky it was? Or even where the hell we are going? I mean, what if they come looking for us?” You said as you began to feel your voice start to rise. Quip for quip, it seemed he was going to match your energy. 

“Hell, you’re still troubled about all that? What of it? Don’t tell me you’re losing your fucking nerve now.” He retorted. He stood to rise as he turned from you and began to reach into his pack. He wasn’t taking you seriously, and this was starting to make your blood boil. 

“It’s simple, if they come looking for us. I’ll kill ‘em. If they capture us, it’s curtains. So, dwelling on whether or not they’ll catch us shouldn’t even be a concern. Focus on surviving.” Surviving. It’s all you had known and all you had ever done. Your cheeks heated with frustration as you began to speak, words flowing with anger. 

“You don’t know the first thing about me! You don’t even know my name. You don’t know what my people have suffered at the hands of people that look just like you.” The venom in your voice surprised you. Even the words as they rolled off your tongue felt bitter. 

Levi clicked his tongue, his eyes flickering with something you couldn’t read. He spat out the blade of grass he had been chewing on and returned to your side, sitting beside you. His shoulders were squared as he seemed to digest what had been said. After a pause, he spoke.

“Hmph. We’ve all got a chip on our shoulders. And you’re right, don’t know what y’all have gone through.” He said as he began to undo a handkerchief, revealing some corn cakes.

“But, I can tell you I came to this country hopin’ for a change. A place where folks didn’t assume stupid shit ‘bout each other just because of the color of their skin.” He then proceeded to open a tin filled with jerky and set it between the two of you. Your brows seemed to raise. Was he a foreigner, too? His attempt to grasp even a little understanding caused something in you to soften. 

“You’ve got to keep living despite that,” He said as his tenor lost the sharp edge it had maintained earlier. 

“Eat. Throwing something in your gullet will help settle your nerves,” He said in a way of trying to smooth over the conversation that had nearly gone south, attempting at some repair. 

“Suppose it’s time I learned yer name,” He huffed as he took the kettle and began to pour water into the metal tins filled with herbs. 

With a nod, you shared your name, taking one of the cakes into your hands, breaking it in half before offering the piece to him. You could feel an armistice settling between the two of you as he huffed and took it from your fingertips.

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

“You said we were headed to Fort Kearny?” You started as your horses trotted down the dirt road. 

“Yep, if we continue along at this rate, we should get there in about two weeks ‘n’ some change. If I manage to teach you how to ride and get your horse to a gallop, we can save 3-4 days, maybe more. Especially since we’re not slowed down by a wagon.” Levi said as he maintained his hold on the reins. It seemed an awful long time to be traveling, especially since this was the first time you were actually cognizant enough to appreciate a journey. 

The sun was beginning to set, hues of orange, purple, and pink lining the sky. This was the first evening you would be spending out of Independence — miles away from civilization. 

“We’ll set up camp by that tree, just yonder,” Levi said, gesturing up at a proud old tree atop a hill. 

After tying down the horses and ensuring you both were hidden and out of sight, Levi handed you one of his blades and flints. 

“Show me you were paying attention earlier,” He said flatly as he stepped to his mare’s side, reaching into one of the packs. He began to assemble a small tent, which you could only surmise was to be “home” for you both along this journey. 

Soon, you went to work, gathering kindling and sticks with the remaining daylight. The tent you realized was only intended for one, and it was going to be a very tight squeeze. Striking Levi’s blade sparks soon spread into embers, and you took his hat and began to fan and blow on the small flame to nurse it. A new skill and opportunity to hold your own caused a sense of accomplishment to bloom within your chest.

“Not bad,” Levi said in approval as he hammered metal stakes into the ground. He deftly set up the two poles for the simple white linen tent. The entrance could be sealed up with a drawstring. 

You looked between him and the tent as you walked over to his side, desiring to help him set out the items for a simple dinner, leftovers of what you had for breakfast and lunch. Some jerky and corn cakes. He nodded as he allowed you to assist. Slowly, a rhythm was beginning to form between you two. You wondered if, in the passing days, you would grow used to being around this stranger. 

“Mr. Ackerman,” You said with a start as you busied yourself with setting out the blanket you both sat on for meals. He hummed in response as he inspected the tent to make sure it would hold for the night. 

“I know you said after Fort Kearny, we’d end our journey at Fort Laramie…” You said tentatively as you began to set out the foodstuffs and get the tins ready so you could both have a drink. 

“But, what happens after Fort Laramie?” Something tightened in your chest as you considered what lay beyond you in the new Wyoming territory. Leaving Missouri was already quite the feat, and you both were approaching Kansas rather steadily. 

“Simple. You’re free now, so you make a life for yerself. Find some folks you know, or start from scratch. One of my associates is gonna ta help me fix yer papers, then the rest is up to you.” His response was matter-of-fact, simpler, and neater than you knew life could be. Or was it perhaps really that easy? 

Freedom had many possibilities, possibilities that were too exhausting to consider just yet.

“I see—and you? What happens after Fort Laramie?” You asked, trying to set your mind off the task of constructing a future. At this, Levi let out a small chuckle. Seeming to be tickled by you being inquisitive. 

“Tch, I collect my bounty and see if I want to pick up another job. If the jobs aren’t worth my time, I go wherever the hell I want. Maybe California, or maybe even Oregon. Missouri was a shithole anyway.” 

A bounty. Your mind reached back, finally registering the gravity of the words he had said so nonchalantly.

It’s simple, if they come looking for us. I’ll kill ‘em.

“You’re a bounty hunter then?” You said as you took a piece of jerky into your hands. The wind seemed to blow between you both, fanning the flame he tossed in some sticks to feed. 

“Suppose you could call it that. I clean up loose ends for folks in high places and others who are looking to erase their pasts. Odd jobs here and there, too.” He muttered, rubbing his hands a bit tensely, as if he were trying to select his words very carefully. 

“Thomas Williams, yer owner and ringleader of that pigstye of a late-night auction house, had been on the run fer a long time,” Levi said knowingly, as features knitted into disgust. 

“I’d been on that piece of shit’s tail since I picked up the job in Delaware. Incompetent sheriffs and the military couldn’t catch one fuckin’ guy.” He said with a huff and took a swig of water from his tin. 

“Bagged and tagged him back in Independence, along with my associate. And now we are going to collect on that at Fort Laramie, finally.” 

You studied his features, considering his words as you noticed the brilliance of the night’s sky had come into view. Stars twinkling like suspended jewels in a fine dark resin. You’d never seen anything like it before. Firelight danced off his angular features as he pulled off his hat and sighed, looking off into the distance. 

You spoke, trying to tie it all together. 

“So, Mr. Ackerman, you’re a sheriff? Detective?—" Levi cut in with a snort. 

“I keep telling you to drop the pleasantries. Levi or Ackerman is fine. And no, I am most certainly not a sheriff, detective, or … military lap dog.” He said, taking a bite of jerky, chewing with a pout. The way he said his last statement led you to believe he had omitted something. 

“In short, I do the shit they can’t because they have plenty of rules they have to play by. So, I take matters into my own hands.” He said coolly.

“Though I can't tell you more than that.” He said, pushing the tin of jerky over to you. You frowned, questions filling your mind. For every time you learned something new about Levi, more questions emerged.

“So then, who do you work for?” You said as you took another piece of peppered meat and began to chew. Maybe this was a permissible question? His brow raised as he gave you the side eye.

“I work fer myself. No one else.” He said as he took another swig of water and reached for a corn cake. The response was matter-of-fact and straightforward, no hesitation on his part. 

“Ah, I see. And any family or friends?” You followed up as you took a sip of water. This particular question seemed to strike a chord. Something in his eyes and his posture went rigid as he turned to look at you. 

“I don’t have any family to speak of. And as for friends, Hmph. One or two, but, from what I’ve noticed… ‘friends’ either tend to either a) complicate things, b) slow you down, or c) fuck you over.” 

His blue-grey orbs seemed to go dull as the last words fell off his tongue. He sat quietly, pensive as he looked down at his tin cup as if a follow-up to what he had just said was somehow at the bottom of the tin. You nodded quietly, sensing the conversation had come to a close.

This made you think of your friends back at the academy, a polishing school to “rehabilitate” the native youth, as well as your short tenure as one of the educators at that place. 

You had friends and cared for every single one of the students who had been shipped there. You couldn’t imagine what it would be like if you all didn’t support each other or look out for one another—sharing food, clothing, and knowledge. You didn’t throw the word “friend” around either, but you knew that if it weren’t for those relationships, you wouldn’t have made it. 

“But, doesn’t it get lonely, Levi?” You said softly. You could have dropped the conversation, but you had to know.

“Tch, you sound just like Erwin and Hange.” He muttered, the faintest ghost of a smile on his lips as he said those names. He had mentioned a Hange the night prior, as you both had made your escape. 

“‘Can’t get lonely if you don’t get attached in the first place.” Despite how insouciant the statement seemed to be, the hint of what could be a question at the end led you to believe it was something he was still trying to decide for himself. 

“Besides, that’s what freedom looks like to me. I go where I want, when I want. I do what I want to do, when I want to do it. When you are around others, it ain’t easy as all that.” He said as he began to pick up the foodstuffs and set them away in their containers.

“When we get to Fort Laramie, that’s when you get to decide what that looks like ‘fer you.” And just like that, he had brought the conversation back to the place that stung. It left you feeling vulnerable and exposed. You shuffled beside him, looking down at your hands, seeing the etchings of the chains that once bound you there again. 

“You’ve got at least two to three months to decide. ‘For now, just focus on getting to Fort Kearny, which we will make it to.” He said, somehow picking up on how you tensed. Again, he never touched you, and it seemed he wasn’t the type to hover or coddle— but his words always seemed to hang with a meaning that the two of you were beginning to understand. A muted compassion that was only found between the lines. 

“Now then, I am gonna to check on the horses. When you fold up the blanket, get ready to hit the hay. We’ll be headed out before dawn again tomorrow.” You thanked the ancestors as you were facing the opposite direction upon hearing his words. Your mind immediately went to the tent behind you and the flush that crept into your cheeks. Your mind swirled, nearly short-circuiting as it considered how you both would make that work. 

Yes, you had shared quarters with him the night prior, but there was more than enough space for you both to be comfortable in the hotel room. He had even insisted you take the bed, despite there being more than enough room for you both to cling to your respective sides. 

You cleaned up, hoping the nerves would settle and go away. You could hear the horses neigh and huff as he no doubt was inspecting their reins and removing the saddles for the night. You peeked into the tent to see the lone bedroll that had been hewn from an animal’s hide. As soon as your hands began to go cold and clammy from the adrenaline, his hand came to rest on your shoulder. 

“What’s the matter?” He said, inspecting your features and noting the distress in them. 

“Wait a minute, is there a snake or a critter in there?!” He said with his head over your shoulder as he peered in. You could feel the warmth of his cheek radiate against yours from the proximity. With concern, he loomed over your crouched form. He then quickly unsheathed a blade, gently pushing you back as he inspected the tent himself.

The contact left you flushed. Sleeping with your classmates and friends in the academy—no problem. But sleeping around an equal parts handsome and enigmatic man? That had never happened for you before. 

Not that you had expectations of any of that happening, of course…

Sure, you had experienced a couple of hurried make-out sessions back in the dormitories of the academy when you were dared, especially in your teens. You had even experienced third base with a visiting Sioux teacher that could have easily become fourth if he hadn’t been sent away to a school with greater need. Andrew had been tall, dark skinned, and thick around his trunk. Gods, he had been a great kisser and an even better—

“Woman, ain’t nothing in here!” Levi said in an exasperated tone as he emerged. Your eyes whipped back to his as you were shaken from your thoughts. He sighed as he wriggled out and patted out his trousers and shirt. 

“What the hell is the matter with you? I thought you were in trouble,” He grunted. 

“I thought you had more grit to ya. Christ almighty, you’re a ball of nerves!” He said as he tutted and shook his head.

“I checked the bedroll too, nothing there. Now get in there and outta my sight before I blow a gasket.” He muttered as he pulled a blanket out of his bag and set it over his shoulders. 

“But aren’t you going to go to bed?” You stammered, pointing into the tent. He pinched the bridge of his nose, a gesture that could only be interpreted as annoyance.

“You. Sleep. In there. I will be resting out here. Who else is going to keep a lookout? Certainly not you.” He huffed as he shook his head and began to pace around the fire, pulling the patterned blanket around his shoulders. 

“But when will you get to sleep?” You said noticing he had sat in the chair by the hotel room door the entire night prior. 

“Woman, get to bed, now.” His voice was laced with anger as he plopped down at the base of the tree. He was convinced you were playing games, even being hysterical. His tone set you off more than you had expected.

“Fine! But my name isn't ‘woman’, and you could stand to be a lot kinder, you know? I am just trying to adjust to all of this and get to know you!” You said feeling the same anger you had felt earlier began to boil in your veins. His ever-changing moods left you scrambling to figure him out. 

“Feh,______ life isn’t kind and it ain’t gonna slow down for you either,” He said with his voice rasping out your name. His eyes narrowed and became demanding as he looked over at you. 

“At the rate yer goin’, life is just gonna trample you over. So either you toughen up, or you give up like you nearly did in that cage in Independence.” 

“You petulant man!” You yelled in a voice that even startled you. Not missing a beat, his eyes widened, speaking in a low, cold rumble as he held your gaze.

“Witless brat.”

With that, you crawled into the tent, biting your lip as the tears came. You were so angry, your hands trembled. You cried silently, sniffling as softly as you could. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of hearing you cry. Not again. You hated that you wanted to get to know him, despite his prickliness. And what was even more loathsome was the fact that he thought you were weak and foolish. This was a stark contrast to what seemed like a man who was willing to try to understand the night before. 

“That son of a bitch,” You muttered under your breath as you pulled the bedroll that smelled of him and damp leather around you. You huffed as you began to fall into a fitful sleep, even more wounded by the fact that the familiar scent of cedar and pine was comforting you as you drifted off. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

Outside the tent, Levi had all but lost his teeth. He sat listening to the sounds of the wind through the tall grass. With the occasional pops of the fire before him, he looked to the tent, hearing you crying and shuffling until you went silent. 

Remorse crept into his chest, clawing its way through and hollowing out all other sensations. He knew he had been harsh, and he knew he didn’t have to push as far as he had just done. He thought you were in danger. Couldn’t you understand? Be a little less of an airhead? His hands balled into fists at his side as one made contact with the tree he was resting under with a sickening slam. 

He had barely noticed the bruises and scuffs on his knuckle as it began to throb. He should have thought that through; it was going to be a bitch to guide both horses tomorrow.

This is why I travel alone. He thought silently as he threw some more sticks into the flames. 

This is why I don’t do people. The silent conversation played out in his mind as he gazed up at the stars. 

They are exhausting, temporary. 

His shoulders drooped as he leaned back against the tree. Ghosts of conversations past replaying as they often did.

“Levi, come with me to America, the duchy and the crown have no influence there— we won’t have to serve them anymore.”

“Levi, let’s go west together! I heard there are plenty of things to discover, and know!”

“Sheriff Ackerman, why don’t you stop by our house for dinner? When you found our little girl out in the woods, it meant the world to us.”

“Captain Levi, what do you recommend? The soldiers can't shoot worth a damn.”

“Levi, stay the night. Maybe I can warm you up, you know, take your mind off of things for a while?”

“Oh, fuck off,” Levi sighed aloud, banishing the voices that swirled in his mind. All offers he had flatly turned down or halfway met. He pulled his knees to his chest as he took in a deep breath. His eyes wandered to the tent, where he surmised you were finally sleeping. 

Last night, when he began working at the locks in your enclosure, you had asked him why he had rescued you. Sure, he and Hange had managed to capture Thomas spectacularly, but you were a complication. Something not planned for, something he couldn’t have anticipated. 

Why exactly had he done it? Connection was synonymous with complication, difficulty, and frustration. His eyes bore onto the tent as he recalled the image of your face that night. 

Your hair was styled with delicate pins, and your lips were tinted a light shade of burgundy against your bronze skin. Despite how they tried to make you look, you weren’t weak; you weren’t a doll. The curve of your lip and the tightness of your jaw told another story.  He was never the type to make sport of searching for potential partners or romantic prospects; he couldn’t be bothered. A man uninterested in connection did not need that right? 

Which is why it puzzled him that, despite the particular mission at hand. Missions, he never deviated from the plans for. Mainly because these were missions he was contracted explicitly for. Despite that, all of his training, rationality, and forethought were thrown out the window. 

He saw you looking at the men in the crowd in a way that indicated physical ownership didn’t mean they owned your soul. No, you wanted to fight. You wanted to live. Levi was captivated, breathless even as the sight unfolded before him. 

When the bidding began to lull and you were about to be sold off, his hand shot up into the air like a man possessed. He called out an amount that he knew would nearly bankrupt him and render the reward for Thomas’ capture void. 

The way your eyes stared defiantly into Thomas’s as he whispered to your cage inspired an ire in him he had not felt since he had survived the terrible fate his mother suffered at the hands of men like him back in Austria. 

Hoping against hope, Levi called out, the bid only increasing as that asshole aristocrat merely waved his hand, only raising his voice when he perceived being bid against as an insult. 

Levi, not to be outdone, raised his hand over and over until he knew he couldn’t place another bid against the house. He knew well that the money changers wouldn’t lend him a penny over what he had brought with him that night. 

His fist slammed down on the table when the German aristocrat had his lackeys throw the trunk of jewels onto the stage in a garish display of wealth. 

When Levi saw the way Thomas smiled at seeing the gems, he silently wished the orders were to bring him in “dead or alive”. Levi vowed to at least rough him up, breathing still meant alive, didn’t it?

That’s when everyone in the hall was going to disband, and he would meet up with Hange. Thomas was going down, and he was going to pay big time. That’s when something stirred in Levi, that same feeling that possessed him to bid in the first place. 

Maybe all he needed to do was ensure Thomas would end up behind bars? Perhaps then you’d make it out of there, amid the chaos. Or who knows, maybe that German dignitary would treat you right?

Levi’s feet moved of their own accord as he walked towards the stage. Something tugged, nagged at him as he edged closer and closer— bumping shoulders with debutants and politicians alike. Everything around him disappeared.

He removed his hat with reverence, just as he did for those he respected and for those he had had to bury. A woman like you deserved more. To him, your natural beauty seemed to cause something to shift in his chest, a stone that had long since been lodged there stirred. This made his eyes lose their usual edge as they met yours. He was genuinely sorry he didn’t have the means to bid you out. 

He knew the look in your eyes; he had seen it many times before. He had trapped hares, fowl, and other game. All of them, terrified and desiring life even to the very end. The ones he remembered always fought back. 

As his eyes wandered over your form and where you were bound. That’s when his eyes settled on the placard that bore your description, his eyes skipping all other words until they landed on the ones that made him snap. 

“The last of her kind,” Similar were words he had heard so many times before in reference to his lineage as an Ackerman. His family line was hunted or revered for their powers, their strength, and their blood. 

If she is truly the last, then, at the very least, she deserves to decide her fate on her own terms. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

Levi sat quietly, returning to the present moment as the fire continued to crackle and pop before him. He sighed, feeling fatigue settle in his bones. 

Yes, people and connections were complicated. But the night he’d deviated from the plan, he knew it was going to leave some sort of indelible mark on his own life. He was departing from the rigor and structure that had kept him safe. You were a complication, he hadn’t run from. 

He knew he was going to see this through. He was going to get you to Fort Laramie, and beyond it if need be. He’d never admit it to you, because saying something like that would constitute a promise. And promises meant you had to stick around and see them through. His mother and uncle had hammered that understanding into him. Fort Laramie could be enough. He was going to see this self-imposed mission through. 

The biggest obstacle to that, though, wouldn’t be the terrain, the endless days in inclement weather, hunger,  or even the troubles he knew you two would face. 

He knew the most significant obstacle was going to be the thing that made you cry and flew off the handle every time you doubted yourself or got frazzled. Because he knew you could do better, he knew you were a fighter. 

That obstacle was himself. 

Chapter Text

"Smokey River" by Birger Sandzén

Five more tense and awkward days had passed since you had embarked. Not so much as a couple of sentences had been exchanged between you. As the days stretched on, you passed hills and endless valleys of lush green grass. 

To his credit, there had been moments when Levi had attempted conversation. Commenting on the scenery or trying to teach you some new skills. 

One included measuring how many hours were left in the day by using your hands and the position of the sun in the sky. Another was determining where due north was by checking rocks for moss growth. He even taught you how to tell sweet water from putrid water, showing you how to filter it with cloth, gravel, and boil it. All of these tips joined the ever-growing list of skills that you were beginning to cultivate and foster your bushcrafting skills.

However, you watched and listened silently every time—the words echoing in your mind.

Witless brat. 

Before you could warm up, you clammed right back up. His eyes scanned yours, seeming to hope for a response every time he taught you something new. Despite the lack of communication, the wordless dance you both were engaged in didn’t prevent you from working together like a well-oiled machine. Levi, as you were beginning to notice, was a creature of habit and strict routine. You followed his routine, and that was the end of the discussion.

You helped him set up and got the fire going. He tied up the horses, set up the tent, and then he insisted you both wash your hands with the thick, lard-filled soap. Until you washed to his satisfaction and dried your hands, he then doled out the amount you both would eat. Rinse and repeat—day in, day out. 

Yesterday, he showed you how to make hardtack. No surprises in the name. They might as well be hard as tacks themselves. The biscuits dried your mouth to hell, and you were certain that if your dental hygiene had been rubbish, it was entirely plausible that teeth could have cracked on a particularly tough biscuit. 

The fresher batches were the best, because by the end of the day, they had become veritable bricks. Those were the biscuits you soaked in the tea you both had come to depend on. The hot tea (minus the leaves that would catch in your throat and make you cough from time to time) was more than pleasant. 

On the seventh day of the silent game you were playing, you both approached a little shack. It was the first outpost on the trail. An impressive line of wagons and families all waited in line as they checked in and stated their business. 

You noticed Levi’s shoulders going tight with apprehension. This must have been the border leading into Kansas. This was the first hurdle. 

“When we get to speak to the patrol on duty, let me do the talkin’,” Levi said flatly. You looked at him and nodded in response. 

The horses huffed, feeling the change of pace and beginning to disrupt them as you both waited atop them. Both creatures seemed to whine and balk every time they were forced to move forward. The change in pace was clearly throwing them off. 

You knew it had been at least an hour or two that had been lost by measuring the sun. As you turned your head away from the sun, you caught those scrutinizing blue-grey orbs peering over at you. Though this time, they weren’t critical, they wrinkled at the corners. As your glance traveled down the hard lines of his cheek and jaw, there it was, a rarity. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lip. 

“What?” You muttered as you looked at him with a bitter glance. 

“How many hours in the day do we have left?” He asked, the smile now seeming to be razzing you as it quirked smugly. It was more emotion than you’d seen out of him in the past couple of days you had known him. 

“Don’t know.” You said as you pouted and looked away. You could feel his glance on you even as you tried to feign being more interested in the singular patch of yellow grass on the side of the road. 

“Hmph, don’t bullshit me. C’mon, tell me,” He said, even if you wouldn’t turn to meet his gaze. You could practically hear the smile that was plastered on his face. The dissonance between wanting to look or respond— battled with your desire to teach him a lesson. 

“Why, just so you can call me witless again?” You said, feeling a tinge of that same gross feeling that made you doubt yourself. The same feeling made your saliva go sour, recalling the tears you had shed those nights ago.

“N-no. Not at all… I just.” He sighed, struggling with the words. His brow furrowed as he looked at the back of your head. Levi was beginning to learn that words had the same ability to maim, not unlike his weapons or his open fists, especially his.

His smile melted as he huffed and willed himself to find the right words. 

“I wanted to make sure you learned what I taught ya. That what I’ve taught ya might be of some use to you someday.” Levi said as he found himself now turning away from you. He quieted as he looked forward, silence passing between the two of you. Minutes seemed to pass like hours as you considered your options. 

As you both inched closer to the front of the line. You patted your stallion on the neck, gently ruffling its dark mane. You sighed, looking at Levi from under the shade of the hat he had given you days ago. 

“Four hours… maybe five if this line wraps up soon.” You said quietly, barely audible. 

You heard him shift as his mare huffed beneath him. That’s when your eyes met again. His eyes softened in the same way you had seen on the night you had both first met. 

“Good, very good. That’s correct.” You could hear the sincerity in his voice as he praised you. He tipped his head in approval as he often did when you had set up camp correctly or he acknowledged you. Another small smile graced his lips as he did so this time. Before you could get in another word edge-wise, you had finally made it to the front of the line. 

Levi quickly straightened as he began to size up the cavalryman they had stationed there. He was all too busy planning a getaway or setting up a good excuse when he was immediately interrupted.

“Jesus Christ! Captain Levi?!” The young man called out as he ran from the small shack out towards Levi’s side. 

“Oh God. Lord, forgive me for taking your name in vain,” The boy stammered as he made ‘the sign of the cross’ over his mouth and rubbed his eyes before finally confirming what he saw. 

“Is it really you, Captain?!” The freckle-faced cadet said, seeming overjoyed. He wore his black military uniform and crooked hat that framed his brown bowl cut. 

“Marco, pipe down and stand at attention!” Levi nearly barked. The boy immediately froze, straightened out, and clammed up. He gave Levi his tightest salute on command. 

“And you wipe that vacant ass smile off your face, too! I know Commander Shadis did not let you become a Private with that kind of sloppy presentation!” Levi said harshly as Marco’s face went blank, stiffening even more. Levi dismounted his horse. Despite the apparent difference in stature between them, the boy didn’t dare move, his face even changing colors as it seemed he had stopped breathing.

“Marco, Goddamn it! Breathe ‘n’ answer me!” Levi said as he circled the boy. 

“SIR, YES SIR!” Marco said as loudly as he could, taking a deep breath. 

“What is your station?!” Levi said, drawing out his words as he inched his face close to the boy’s.

“PRIVATE BOTT, SIR! KANSAS BORDER STATION, SIR!” Marco said as sweat began to line his brow. You wondered if the poor boy was about to faint. 

“That’s more like it, Private! At ease!” Levi bellowed as he shoved the boy's face away and stepped back to his horse’s side. That’s when you realized just how lax Levi was being with you. Well…at least it was far from the way he had gotten this boy to straighten up on a whim. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

“So you really aren’t a Captain anymore?” Marco said as he scribbled down some notes in his logbook. He seemed crestfallen at the news.

“No, Marco, I’m not. But what I can tell ya is that if Shadis or if Pixis came by and saw what I just did, they’d send ya straight back home to your parents.” Levi said with a grunt. 

The boy's eyes went watery as he continued to log in his book. Levi tutted, seeing the boy so shaken up by what he had said. You sat in the tiny shack as you observed the interaction between the two. 

“Look, kid, where is your rifle? Bring it outside and let me check it fer ya before we go. Didn't I tell you to have it on ya at all times?” 

The boy nodded, his eyes glossing over with tears that threatened to fall. He wiped them onto the sleeve of his coat as he took his rifle in hand and followed Levi outside. 

“I’ll be back to do your documentation, ma'am,” Marco said as he stepped away with Levi. 

You didn’t know when it happened, but a smile had crept onto your features. You looked out the window to see Levi showing the boy how to clean and load his rifle. Showing him how to apply oil to the joints and how to make the stem of a cattail into a makeshift cleaning rod to make sure to get the more troublesome parts of the barrel. 

You didn’t mind how an hour suddenly became two and then three as Levi had helped the boy remember how to aim properly, or when he helped the boy to shoot some quails so he could fill his belly with something warm while he waited for the cavalry to bring him some new provisions. 

Levi wiped his brow as he returned; the sun was now close to setting as it dipped in the sky. 

You had smiled the whole time, something warm now filling your chest as you saw a softer, gentler side to the man you were still trying to figure out. He was a man who seemed to care in his own way after all. 

Levi raised his arm, a string of quails he’d caught on it as he hummed and tipped his head at you: an offering, and a wonderful change from hardtack.

“Sorry ‘bout how long that took. The kid would have been a sitting duck if any highwaymen came and tried to knock him over.” Levi said as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Seems we’ll be delayed a day and a half or so. Hope you don’t mind.” He said in an apology. 

“It’s alright. I am sure Marco appreciated that.” You said, maintaining the smile you wore openly at Levi. For a moment, he seemed to tense as you smiled, his face not knowing quite what to do in response. 

“So, Captain, I’ll get all these papers signed, and you both can continue on. I know I kept you both for a while. I apologize for the imposition.” Marco said softly. The young man looked over to you and smiled sweetly as he looked between you and Levi. 

“She seems really nice. A bit of her must be rubbing off on you, Captain,” Marco said with a flush on his cheeks. 

“So, she's your, uh, friend? Girlf—” Marco was cut off abruptly. Levi’s face seemed to go pale, his eyes widening as he cut in. 

“My charge,” Levi said rather sharply before continuing.

“Now, boy, remember to mind what I told you about runnin’ your mouth? No small talk. You get information on where folks are going ‘n’ coming from, nothing else. Or you end up getting a mother of a line like you had today. Got it?”

“Yes’m!” Marco said with a slight nod. 

“Also, don’t forget to keep her name off the books? You’ll do that for me, right, kid?” Levi said as he placed a hand on your shoulder. The first contact you had in days.

“Oh, right! I’m still ‘learning’, Captain… so a mistake is only a mistake if it’s found out right?” Marco said with a wink. 

“Hmph, spoken like the sloppy brat you are,” Levi said with a bit of chuckle as he angled you both to the door. As you both stepped back into the wilderness and began to mount your horses. Marco stepped out again, stepping in front of you both.

“Oh, won’t you both stay the night? Please say you will? It’s only a day to a day and a half to the river. Besides Captain, I can tell you haven’t been sleepin’.” The boy said expectantly. You inspected Levi’s face to see that, indeed, his eye bags had only darkened. This caused a bit of worry to knot in your stomach. 

“‘‘Fraid not, kid,” Levi said finally. His eyes were muted and distant as he looked down upon the boy.

“C’mon, Captain. You haven’t even told me about Delaware or Washington! You said you might even be going as far as California!” 

You looked over and could see what seemed to be a flicker of sadness, some hint of internal struggle as Levi sat atop his mare. 

“Please? Please miss _____. Won’t you convince him to stay?” 

Your eyes flickered between Marco and Levi. You looked to Levi, not minding the change of pace this was bringing to your journey. Your eyes asked silently, What’s the harm in it? Why not stay? 

At this, Levi broke his glance from yours. His eyes were obscured from your vision, the shadow from the rim of his hat seeming to darken even more as he bit his lip.

He maneuvered your horses over to the boy as he reached his hand out. The boy winced as he gasped, thinking the Captain would knock him over the head as he had done times before. To his surprise, Levi gently straightened out the hat on his head that had been set on crooked most of the day. Levi concluded by patting his head as he pulled his hand away. 

“I am afraid not Marco. I told ya, it’s a most urgent matter. I’ve got to get this woman to where she’s got to go.” Levi said without the usual edge in his voice as he looked down at Marco. 

“Alright, Sir. Please come back sometime, will ya? Won’t you at least write to me once y’all make it to Fort Laramie? I really wanted to head out there with Jean.” Marco said as he looked between the two of you, eyes looking much like a puppy dog’s after it had been left behind.

“Sure, kid,” Levi said as he took the reins and began to urge the horses on. The boy shielded his eyes as the clop of hooves kicked up dust, and you both began to trot past him.

“Promise you will?! I know plenty of us were scared of you, but now that you’re gone, we all miss you back at the military academy!” The boy shouted after you both, waving and hollering as loud as he could. 

“Promise!” Levi said as he recklessly urged the horses on, causing them to break into a gallop as you both pressed forth. 

“Come back any time! You too miss ______! I’ll have plenty of quails for you when y’all come back!” Soon, the boy’s voice faded into the wind as the sound of your horses speeding along rang in your ears. The little lantern at the outpost soon was well out of view, and you both rode along in the moonlight. You looked over at Levi, whose eyes you still couldn’t see. His features were obscured by the dramatic shadow cast by his cowboy hat. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

That night, you both settled in an open expanse of land a ways off the dirt road. Dinner had been mostly silent, save for Levi being impressed by you knowing how to gut and prepare the quail for supper, and him teaching you how to roast the bird over an open flame to char off the feathers.

The meal was warm and, despite the lack of seasoning, delicious as you sipped on the tea that he insisted on preparing for you himself.

“Levi, you know. There is really no rush to get to Fort Kearny or Fort Laramie. We could take our time in the future?” You said you were trying to start up some conversation. To this Levi said nothing, his eyes focused on the flames.

“Private Bott seemed really kind. I didn’t know you were in the military.” You said as you tried another line of questioning, seeing if he might respond to that. His face was stoic as he stared at the flame. He only came to when you repeated the words. He was deep in thought, shaking his head as he finally responded.

“Much too kind if ya ask me. I don’t know what Shadis was thinking. They must be really desperate now.” Levi’s said, deciding to answer at least one of your questions at the moment. 

“But he was a fast learner. He seemed to grasp everything you taught him?” You said as you tossed the leftover pheasant bones into the flames. 

“All things I've already taught that boy. Smart kid, brilliant even fer strategy. His application is absolute shit, though,” He said with a deep sigh as he rubbed his eyes. For the first time in days, you saw Levi show signs of fatigue. 

“Like I’ve been tryin’ to teach you, life isn’t kind. Neither are all the folks you meet. You should know this better than anyone.” He said as his voice rasped. He took a sip of water before continuing.

“A highwayman, crook, or some other type of threat like a wildcat wasn’t going to give that boy a chance to load his gun, aim it, or make sure it was even off the safety in the first place.”

You sat and imagined Marco facing off with a man like Thomas, who you knew carried a pistol at his hip at all times, or even the big, bulky men who had flung the trunk of jewels and coins at the auction house stage for the German aristocrat, Zeke. The thought made you frown as you looked back at Levi, nearly hearing the gunshot go off in your mind. 

“If that boy continues to hunt pheasants and other game, especially since he’ll like the taste of ‘em more than the slop they’ll drop off every other week or so, he’ll have a chance. Better aim and everything.” The rationale was simple and well thought out. More forethought went into what Levi had taught Marco that evening than you had anticipated.

“I’ve seen enough bright-eyed kids like him get shipped back home in boxes to their parents or family,” Levi said with a tone that blended melancholy with disgust. 

“I see,” You murmured as a moment of silence fell between you two. You both had experienced death around you, but hearing of young men seemingly falling like flies around him, with no other recourse, explained Levi’s harshness upon first meeting Marco or anyone else, for that matter. 

You had seen tribes folk and friends pass from illness, and as a child, when you were taken from wherever you came from. You could recall the crackle of fire that rolled through the forest and the wigwams. The smell of gunpowder still burned at your nose, even if you only remembered bits and pieces of what had actually happened. Maybe death had made its home alongside you as well? The thought was too bitter to comprehend as you looked over at Levi before you dared to put your hand on his shoulder as you spoke.

“Levi, that’s why it’s important to cherish the moments we have with people now…” You said softly, as your eyes maintained his gaze.

“That’s why spending time with people like Private Bott, who want you around, is so important. You don’t know when and if you’ll ever get to see them again,”

To this, Levi opened his mouth only to close it. His eyes wandered up to the sky. The expanse of stars above you was his closest companions. They never spoke, silently they watched, and were ever present. They were the same in Austria, as they were in New York, and as they were here in Kansas with you. 

He merely tutted as his eyes trailed to his shoulder, where the warmth of your hand provided an anchor against him, feeling as if he would fall upwards into that sea of stars. 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

That night, seeing the fatigue in his eyes, you offered to stay up for a couple of hours and recommended that he use the tent for some rest.

“I only sleep in that thing if it’s rainin’ or snowin’. I’m fine.” Levi grumbled as he grabbed the familiar patterned woolen blanket from his horse’s saddle and draped it over his shoulders. 

“Please, won’t you sleep in it at least a couple of hours? To at least give me some peace of mind? Marco was right, you look haggard." You said as you began to fret. Indeed, his eyes were worn and heavy with sleep. 

“But, I haven’t even taught you to shoot or use a knife properly yet,” Levi said as a yawn caught in his throat. 

“Please, you said the fire was usually enough to keep most critters away. Besides, my horse is more skittish than your mare! Remember the night he startled when he saw a family of field mice? I doubt a highwayman could be as quiet.” You said, huffing as you sat on your haunches. You were considerably rested, having taken a small nap while Levi was out teaching Marco how to shoot.

“Levi, please. Won’t you sleep in the tent? Let me try to be the lookout at least.” You said circling back to the concern at hand. Even though you knew he was tough and had grit, not even he was invincible. The man who had saved you those days ago deserved sleep.

Levi looked down at his hands, feeling the weight of his eyes and the sting they caused. He looked up, seeing your eyes and face pleading against the backdrop of stars that gleamed like gems. His chest tightened, and he sighed. With that look on your face, he knew he couldn’t deny you whatever you asked. 

Levi hated to admit it, but the rationale for him taking a couple of hours was solid. He couldn’t ignore the draw of sleep. He taught countless soldiers the importance of taking shifts and ensuring proper rest, because fatigue is what bred mistakes, and mistakes out on the battlefield meant death.

Though this wasn’t the reason why he hadn’t slept, years of traveling alone taught him to sleep only hours at a time. Resting during the day to afford more awareness during the night was the best strategy. 

The true culprit was the guilt he felt over the argument you both had. This robbed him of any sleep that lasted for more than thirty minutes at a time. Fitful and frustrating. 

“Fine, but the tent door stays open, and you wake me up at the first sign of trouble. I’ll be real sore with ya if you don’t wake me when it’s time to switch.” You could hear the reservation in his voice as he stepped away towards the tent. He lowered himself and slowly began to crawl into the entrance. He was tense about leaving you out on watch, shuffling about for about thirty minutes, but soon, you saw him using his arms for a pillow as he slept on his stomach, facing you. 

It wasn’t long before that even and slow sound of his breathing could barely be heard over the flames. His face, which had been taut with tension, had eventually smoothed, becoming soft as he seemed to sleep soundly. 

Had he really been up all of those days? He must have been exhausted. You looked at him, feeling something tug at your heartstrings. Perhaps it was the way his bangs fell at his brow or the way his cheeks bunched up as they rested on his arms? Or was it the way his lips seemed to pucker as he began to dream? It didn’t matter; all of it warmed you more than the fire before you. 

As you smiled, your hands began to glow again, the faintest flicker of that light traveling up your arms as your emotions caught in your chest. This was the third time this had happened since your first encounter with Levi. You looked at your hands in wonder as it flickered away as soon as it had appeared. Maybe you were truly just as tired, and your imagination was getting carried away.

You focused instead on the sleeping man before you. 

This sensation may be becoming something more than gratitude. Was this endearment? And was Levi allowing you to keep the first watch, trust?

°‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡

It was the first time you had seen a body of water this large. The Kansas River intrigued you, breaking up the monotony of the rolling plains. There were patches of sandy, damp beach, along with stretches of deeper water and steady streams. 

The day and a half Levi had estimated was apt, and you silently thanked the ancestors for it. There was an unexpected increase in the temperature over the past couple of days. This made it uncomfortable and sticky in the clothing you had been wearing since the journey began. 

There were two things you were sure of. You knew you were sweaty and smelly. Even Levi seemed sullen, feeling the effects of the humid days and how long it had taken to reach this body of water. 

“We’ll set up camp here for a couple of days. Especially before we head ta Big Blue River.” He huffed as the river came closer into view. Wagons and families camped out along the river’s edge. It didn’t seem too deep here, but with a longer walk down the bank, it seemed to swell. He pointed to the deeper portion of the river, a little further down, to indicate that the camp would be there. Lush trees lined the bank, providing shade and a sense of comfort.

You looked enviously at the children who splashed and ran about in the small pools and puddles of water, despite knowing you both would have to take a dip at some point. 

Setting up camp had been relatively easy, and the horses whinnied, seeming to enjoy their saddles being taken off so early in the day. A break sounded like just what you both had needed.

“Well done, you stay here and mind the camp. I’ll go on down and see if I can go ‘n’ get us some goods.” Levi said as he removed his hat and coat, setting them on a tree branch. 

“But, I’d like to come with you,” You said, not wanting to miss a moment or experience. 

“Who’s gonna make sure camp is secured?” He said as he looked at your belongings. 

“We’ll only be gone a while, won’t we? Besides, I doubt there are any highwaymen here.” You asked again. He merely sighed as he began to walk down the bank further away from you. You stood quietly, watching as he walked down the bank and awaited a response.

“Hurry up then. If anything goes missing, I’m blaming you.” He said, calling back to you as he continued his pace. The words sounded stern, but an invitation hung in the air. You beamed as you looked back at camp and at the horses that seemed to be content to graze side by side. 

°‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡

Levi was frugal and knew how to strike a bargain; he had managed to secure some goods and whims without even spending a dime. You watched with awe as he helped to shave down a horse’s hoof, keeping it securely between his legs as he used the sharp metal rods and pliers. The man requesting the help had kept all the tools in his wagon. Soon, people gathered, needing their animals to be tended to as well. 

He watched you tense when some women approached you and began to make conversation.

“______, what're you up to?” He called over his shoulder as he inspected a mule’s hoof. 

“I am going to head down to the river and wash our clothes with these women. They offered to lend me some soap and their washboard since you are already helping their husbands with their horses and steers.” 

Before Levi could respond, the mule began to struggle. Its owner helped to soothe it as Levi had to focus and clip the hoof before it tired of being at this angle. Before he could object, you had already gone.

“Tch. That woman.” He said, shaking his head in disapproval. 

°‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡

“Let me guess, newlyweds?” One of the women said with a chuckle. Your bronze complexion went tomato red at the assumption.

“Clearly, they've eloped. He has her wearing his clothing.” The eldest one said with a knowing smile as she wiped her brow and rolled up her sleeves to keep them from getting too wet.

“Uh, he’s…” You tried to correct them, but were interrupted by the sounds of laughter.

“Oh, young love. How romantic.” The first woman said as she batted her strawberry red eyelashes and sighed adoringly.

The elder chimed in again as she patted your back and spoke. 

“Bet your parents began to fuss when you met him? That’s what happened to me at least. They refused to let me see my husband. So, he sent word to me with one of his friends, so I snuck out in the dead of night and I went to meet him two towns over.” The two women seemed to chuckle as you blinked. You listened to their stories as you bent over and helped them to wash, taking turns with the soap. The water that came up to your knees was cool and refreshing as it soaked into Levi’s dark jeans. 

“Don’t worry, your parents will come around, dear.” The elder said as she began to strain a shirt. It seemed these two women were perfectly content to construct your life’s story for you. At that point, you decided to leave them to their narratives. 

“Do you have any more clothing, hun?” The younger woman said as she began to wash her husband’s clothes. You looked down at your person, knowing what you had on your back was all you had. The pause had the younger woman and the elder whisper to each other and share compassionate smiles. 

“Don’t fret. I’ve got some extra clothing that my eldest daughter doesn’t fit into anymore, if you wouldn’t mind?” The first woman said. The other older woman smiled as well and jumped in.

“I’ve got at least another pair of unmentionables that might suit you. We got them back in Missouri, and they just never seemed to fit right.” 

Their simple act of generosity touched you. You suddenly began feeling terrible for not having corrected their misapprehension of your connection with Levi. 

“Is that alright? Isn’t that too much?” At your words, the women laughed heartily. The younger one replied with a smile.

“Of course not, without your husband, we wouldn’t be able to get a move on, and we’d be stuck here for who knows how long.”

°‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡

“Hey brat! I managed to get ya some—“ The words seemed to stick in his throat as he walked down to the shore to where the men had indicated their wives had gone washing. 

You were on your haunches in a simple summer dress, colors faded by the sun as it revealed your tan shoulders, arms, and neckline. The men’s children danced and sang around you, as little girls weaved daisies into your damp braid. One of the children, picking its nose, stared up at Levi, who seemed to be processing the sight of you in the faded indigo colored dress. The child ran over to you and whimpered, whispering that the “mean man” was staring. 

You stood up and turned, seeing Levi’s usually pale cheeks tinted a shade of rose. 

“Hey, ‘mean man’, can you stop staring? It’s spooking the children.” You said with a chuckle as you walked over towards him with a bright smile. 

The wash you had in the riverbank was heavenly, the women letting you have some soap scented with oils. You had washed the filth of days off of you, scrubbing until your bronze skin was nearly pink. They had lent the cover of one of their wagons so you could change into some of the clothing they had afforded you.

Levi scented the lavender as you stepped closer. 

“Uh, Levi. Are you alright?” You said as you held the linen bag filled with clothing and some toiletries that the women had given you. 

“Yes…Got done with the horses ‘n’ steers. Came to see where you had gone.” He said, peeling his gaze from your face or where the dress clung to the curve of your hip. He kept his eyes on the water behind you and the way it refracted the sun against your dress.

“You’ve gotta be more careful next time. At least let me know where you’re headin’ off to.” He said in a voice that was between gruff and metered—no usual bite behind the words, which surprised you. 

“Oh, you’re right. I’ll make sure I do that next time.” You said, rubbing the back of your head.

“Your wife was a great help!” The younger of the two women called as she strung up clothing on their line. 

“Yes! She even managed to keep the children occupied so this ‘ole woman could get some rest.” The elder said as she waved at Levi from the wagon.

“My whhh—“ Levi said as it sounded like the wind in his lungs had drained clean out. His hands nearly went slack as the sack slung over his shoulder fell further down his back. 

His eyes snapped back between you and the women. He caught the way you bared your teeth and sucked in air through them, shoulders shrinking timidly at the misapprehension. You needed an out, desperately. Awkward, this was so awkward. 

“Woman, let’s head back to camp. Now.” He said as his voice cut out and his cheeks drained of their color. He stiffly tipped his head over at the women.

“Thanks fer lookin’ after her,” He muttered, before holding his arm out for you to grab a hold of. Your cheeks reddened, and your eyes went wide as he held out his arm. The hesitation made the women chuckle as his brows traced further up his face. He gestured with his head to hurry it up, and you gulped as you finally stepped over and linked your arm with his. You waved back over at the women, thanking them for what they had done. 

His arm was warm and sturdy. Beneath the fabric of his dark shirt, his muscles were taut and well-formed. It was just like you had imagined, and never confirmed. Often, he would drill himself and excuse himself from your presence. Pushups, pull-ups, and sit-ups, the soft huffs were heard paces away from your tent. There wasn’t a morning he didn’t stretch or he didn’t wake up before you to warm up.

He smelled of sunshine, sweat, and toil as he guided you upriver back to your camp. When you both made it back, he gently unhanded you. His face was stiff as he scrunched his nose and huffed, setting down the belongings at the tent.

“I am sorry about not correcting them,” You said, looking down at your boots, still feeling awkward. 

“Don’t be. People talk, and I’d rather them think you’re a upstandin’ woman rather than whatever other stupid shit people assume when you’re traveling with a man and you ain’t hitched.” He grumbled as he began pulling the provisions and items he had bartered for out of his bag. 

“Do people really assume? Is it even their business?” You said with a chuckle as you began to look into your bag and take stock of what was given to you.

“Don’t give me that shit. I’m sure you’ve lived around enough tripped-up Christians and their ‘morals’ to know otherwise.” 

After a moment of reflection, you realized some element of what he said made sense. It did seem that paradoxes and double standards abounded everywhere you went. This was something you definitely had familiarity with. 

“Personally, I don’t care. Folks tend to worry about the wrong thing anyway. We all have pasts ‘n’ desires. Men, women, and especially those prim and proper pastors, despite the nonsense they spout from the pulpit on Sundays. Who cares?” He said in a huff as he grabbed some soap and what could only be a makeshift towel. 

“‘Besides it’s all about character, grit, ‘n’ yer heart. All that other mess is secondary.”

“And what do you think I am?” You asked, curiosity getting the better of you. 

“What do ya mean?” He said as his features turned into a scowl.

“It seems you have folks, in your opinion, figured out. What kind of woman do you think I am?” You said with a hint of playful challenge.

He paused, taking in the sight of you in the shade. Your hair was still damp, and the wind brought the scent of lavender over the breeze. He thought it might have been a trick of the light filtering through the trees, but he could have sworn that you were glowing. Some of the daisies had fallen around your boots, his boots. And boy did they look good on—. He shut the thought down the moment it came. He did his best to keep his eyes on yours, his posture seeming to stiffen as he considered. He clicked his tongue as he answered.

“Isn’t it obvious? I don’t need to know yer past to know you’re a woman who isn’t gonna lie down just because life dealt her a tough hand. You deserve respect.” He said as he bumped your shoulder with his as he stalked past and made his way down to the river. You could feel heat creep into your cheeks at his estimation of you.

“And what kind of man are you?” You said as he continued to walk. He merely chuckled as he turned to look back at you. 

“Hmph, wouldn’t you like to know?” He said, shaking his head.

“It's simple. I am a persnickety son of a bitch who can’t be bothered with all of that nonsense. I just want to have a wash and some peace ‘n’ quiet. And for some odd reason, I keep getting roped into bein’ ‘round loquacious folks like you.” Like the master of avoidance he was, he only answered what he wanted to.

Chapter Text

AUSTRIA. NIGHT HALLSTATT - Tetiana Tiplova

“Hey brat, you alright?”

“Oh, shoot. She’s still sleepin’.”

You rubbed your eyes slowly, feeling a heavy and comfortable sleepiness, making you cling to the bedmat. You snuggled into the bedroll until you realized the sun was already out. You gasped as you sat up, seeing Levi peering into the tent at you. 

“Easy, easy,” Levi said charitably, tilting his head.

“No need to rush, we’ll get goin’ once we’ve eaten.”

The night prior, you both had a veritable feast with the families gathered at the riverbank, and everyone contributed. And really, to no one’s shock, the portion of hardtack you both brought went largely untouched. With bellies full and the ease brought from the washes you both had in the river, you both were feeling great. The two days of rest in the shade of the trees and the gentle sound of the river assisted in bringing you both back to a sense of peace. 

You got ready rather quickly this morning. You were suddenly suspicious as he hadn’t let you sleep in before. You both always left well before dawn. After a quick run down to the river to wash your face and mouth, you returned to find Levi already at work. 

He sat by the fire, making something that smelled just as mouthwatering as the food you’d both enjoyed last night. You sat on the blanket set out behind him. 

Maybe he was about to admonish you for sleeping in this late? Or perhaps you hadn’t heard him when he came to wake you this morning. You gulped anxiously only to notice he was more tense than you were. His eyes couldn’t meet yours as he set the cast-iron pan down on a rock before the two of you.

You’d had corncakes before, but a fresh corncake with butter? Oh, now that was a luxury. He sat beside you, huffing as he rubbed his hands together, fidgeting. 

“Can ya…” He started as his lips pulled into a tight line. 

“Close your eyes?” He said in as metered a tone as he could muster. Seeing your apprehension, he sighed and waved his hand in front of him.

“Come on now, go on.” He urged as he turned away from you. You were nearly sure he could hear the way your heart hammered in your chest. Just what was he going to do? Gulping and closing your eyes, you sat stiffly. You listened as he shuffled close. Then, you heard something plop down between the two of you. 

“Alright, you can open ‘em,” Levi murmured as he turned away from you. You exhaled softly as you opened your eyes. 

Before you was a jar of honey, to you, it might as well have been liquid gold. Sugar, honey, and other spices were prized down on the reservation and the academy. On holidays, you and the children spent the meager savings you had all pooled together to make monkey bread or sweet rolls. While locked away by Thomas, you were lucky if you got more than a crust of bread or a lump of canned meat. The amber liquid nearly seemed to sparkle, and the honeycomb within indicated just how fresh it was. 

“It’s fer you,” He said tentatively as he scanned you for signs of approval. For a moment, you said nothing, simply appreciating his gesture. For the first time, being uncomfortable with the silence, he interjected. 

“Didn’t mean to call ya witless. I was being an asshole proper,“ He continued, the sound of the water from the river breaking against the shore hanging between the two of you.

“I …apologize.” The words were foreign to him, and felt even stranger to say aloud. 

“I’m not used to bein’ ‘round people. I’m no good at it.” He said as he looked down at the still steaming corncake. 

“Levi, I’d already forgiven you. Is this what you’ve been stewing over?” You said softly, meeting his gaze. 

He sat quietly as he stared at you from under the shade of his dark cowboy hat. While, by and large, it was what had thrown him into a rut, there was something else at play. Something he was having trouble understanding.

He merely tipped his hat at you, a gesture you had seen many times over.

“Go on ‘n’ eat your corncake; the honey will make it sweeter. We’ll head on out after.” 

𖤓 ｡𖦹°‧ ⋆☀︎.

You two rode along, departing for the next river and ever closer to Fort Kearny. During this stretch of days, Levi spent his time teaching you how to guide and ride your horse. He showed you how to mount and take the reins in your hands in a way that was gentle for the stallion. It was a grueling endeavor, and you had fallen off at least once or twice in a day, and your tailbone was paying for it. If only to add insult to injury, Levi used the same switch he had used to train your stallion to correct your posture. 

The sun and the constant rhythm of your horse’s stride were brutal now that you had to control him. Everything was communication. How you sat, how you approached, how you shifted your feet, it all told your horse different things.

The worst part was that anytime you relaxed and found your body settling and your shoulders beginning to come forward, you were assaulted by a firm yet fair whack as Levi’s switch hit where you were drooping or slouching. 

“Do you have to do that every single time? I swear it was just for a second. You could always just tell me what to do, you know,” You said, feeling miffed as your brow knitted into frustration.

“I’ll stop once ya correct that shitty posture. If you think you’re in pain, imagine yer horse having to lug you around for hours a day because you’re leaning in a way that makes him have to compensate.” Levi said gruffly. At this, you sighed, looking down at the chocolate-brown stallion who seemed to huff in agreement.

“Fine, fine. I’ll happily work hard for him. But you are giving me the impression that you like whacking me with that thing when you could always just give me direction, mister.” You said in protest. At this, Levi let out a laugh, a sincere one at that. 

You were almost shocked when the switch tapped your lower back again, this time a bit sharply.

“Hey! Now you are just teasing me!” You whined and pouted over at him. His lips had already curved into a smirk.

“No, that’s for mouthin’ off. Besides, pain is a great motivator ‘n’ teacher.”

To this, your brow quirked as he simply chuckled, a hint of mischief there as he picked up the pace, trotting past you with his mare. You followed after, breaking your horse into a gallop to catch up to him and set the record straight. 

Levi had already gradually trained your horse to follow after his mare, making it more docile and less apt to want to buck or shake you off, which was a godsend in itself. Over the course of days, you could feel your back and shoulders beginning to groan. 

As the day gave way to the night, you found that lying on the bedroll at night was something that made you whimper. That was something that made Levi huff and promise to go easier on you than he had. It brought back memories of his early days, when he learned to ride in Austria with his uncle. 

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆𓂃 ོ☼𓂃

Onkel Kenny was a lot more relentless and unforgiving. Levi could nearly feel the stings of those purple welts his uncle would leave him if he fell, slouched, or did so much as look at him on a bad day. Kenny’s features were slim, weathered from age and toil. This man’s eyes were grey with the weight of years of war, and only more pronounced was the jet black hair flowing at his shoulders, making him look untamed. 

Fortunately for Levi, riding a horse came naturally, especially after spending so much time tending to them as a child. However, nothing less than perfection was expected. And that was not just during the horse riding lessons.

The military training in Munich and Berlin in his teens was more than grueling. A human weapon didn’t need folly and hobbies, especially when a crown and duchy still controlled parliament behind the scenes. 

However, Levi knew that despite his training and the expectations of him because of his blood. He had dreamt once, especially as a child.

As a child and after the terrible thing that had been done to his mother, the thing he and his uncle had silently agreed never to talk about, Levi had seemingly been taken. 

His uncle had come back one day after telling Levi that he was going to take him to Munich to begin his training as an Ackerman formally. Kenny returned to their home to find the rickety wooden door left wide open, snow and wind billowing into their shanty shack and over the hand-me-down furniture.  

Levi lived for years with people he only knew how to ask for food, drink, and where to sleep. No one in the caravan knew Deutsch, save the owner. They had only ever exchanged a couple of words. He was the boy who tidied and toiled silently, without complaint, better than any of the paid hired hands.

The circus and nomadic lifestyle that young Levi was being exposed to forever changed him. The gypsies treated him with respect, and he, in turn, had a belly full of warm food, some coin, and would sleep amidst the hay with the other livestock despite the offers from other members to join them in their barracks. 

Why did he refuse the cleanliness of a cot with the performers? In the evening, when the camp had gone to sleep, Levi emerged, free to do as he pleased and without a soul to tell him ‘no’.

Levi still could recall cool and crisp air and the clear star-filled sky. This was the night he saw the thing that had caused him to feel since his mother had died. 

He stepped quietly as he could through the snow, the dampness seeping into his tattered shoes. He pulled his bedsheet around his shoulders as his breath emerged in plumes. He pushed aside the fabric entrance to the big top, and he made sure to stay low as he snuck under the rafters and lined seats. 

That’s when the two acrobats emerged, and the spotlights focused on them. Their costumes were tasteful and their slender bodies taut with control as they seemed to glide across the floor. Levi often was assigned to collect the tickets or tidy up the stalls during the shows. However, this night he finally saw what night after night had brought in crowds by the droves. 

He was awestruck as the pair of acrobats swung themselves through the air. He rubbed his eyes, unable to believe what he saw. The elegant dance unfolded as they jumped and leapt past each other with a grace he had never experienced before. Deftly, they soared and through hoops, their bodies twisting at impossible angles. No two nights were alike as they practiced new twists or balanced on beams. 

The most beautiful tricks were acted out when the acrobats would close their eyes and entrust their lives and bodies to one another as they jumped from impossible heights, catching and spinning the other through the air and down to safety.

He returned every night. If it weren’t for Levi knowing who the performers were outside of the nightly practices, he would have sworn that they were angels.

One night, one of the performers had fallen ill, and the circus had to postpone their show and leave the task of attracting guests to the old show tiger with a maw full of missing teeth.

Levi walked into the tent, seeing it vacant. He had studied their routines and even how they stretched. In his free time, he would head into the woods to stretch and exercise in the way he had seen them do. He’d throw himself off rocks and ledges. When they stopped in bigger towns, he even launched himself off roofs, running as fast as he could and practicing the rolls that would eat the impacts of his falls. 

This night was fated.

Levi climbed the ladder up to the platform. He took in a deep breath as he stilled his nerves, shaking out his hands. He had angled the lights just as he had seen the stagehands do during every practice. He didn’t anticipate how bright they truly were, obscuring everything below him. One mistake would be truly fatal. With a final gulp, he ran. He ran so fast he could feel his muscles groan, the gamble paying off.

He did the thing he had been longing to do since he had seen it that first night; he flew, and by God, for a moment, just a moment, he felt like he genuinely had wings. Unbeknownst to the youngster, the owner and other performers had witnessed the spectacle of Levi seemingly floating across to the other podium with unearthly grace.

Soon word broke out about a prodigious boy who moved with grace, that he could truly fly. Seeing a sketch of his nephew's face on the circus’s flyers, Onkel Kenny, more than a little furious, gave chase. Kenny dragged Levi back to Austria, right out of the tent after seeing him perform. Their first encounter left Levi with a black eye and the taste of blood in his mouth from a side-splitting blow to the side of his head.

What necessitated a blow of this extent? Levi’s response to his uncle for not having returned to him after all those years he spent away, especially since he was still alive.

“You assumed I was stolen, but I left of my own accord. Just like how you left my mother and I when we needed you most.” 

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆𓂃 ོ☼𓂃

The Big Blue River was entirely different from the Kansas River proper. Your eyes widened at seeing the water churn on the shore. The dark and muddy water seemed to be speeding along. Wagons were gathered around, and people were toiling by plugging the holes in the wooden carriages with leather, sinew, and other materials. You lead your horse to a stop, now knowing how to get it to settle and change its direction. 

“How do we get our horses across that? Is it terribly deep? Can they make it across?" You asked as you looked over at Levi, who seemed to consider. Like a hawk, his blue-grey eyes peered into the distance a bit grimly. He simply shook his head as he brought his black mare to a halt beside you. 

“No. Never assume a river is shallow. Always look fer signs of struggle. Follow me, ______.” He said as he broke his mare out into a trot. Soon, you both had made it to the shore, where he pointed to something you strained your eyes to see. You saw broken crates, warped wagon wheels, and pieces of wood washed against both sides of the shore. 

“Even though the water may seem still, that undercurrent could end yer journey and even yer life in the process,” Levi said plainly, seeming to be surprised by the amount of wreckage there was. 

“Even if it costs us a bit, we’ll be riding a ferry to cross.” He said as he entrusted you with the horses and went to find a ferryman in the crowd. You gulped, grateful to have a man with gumption and expertise around. 

Soon, you both helped to guide the horses onto the ferry that you were sharing with another family. The boat was rickety at best, doing little to settle your nerves. As the ferryman helped the ferry depart from the shore, a strong arm hooked around your waist. You nearly gasped, exhaling sharply as Levi tutted, focused on the task at hand.

“Stay close and away from the edges,” Levi said nonchalantly, holding you close and supporting you as the ferry bobbed. The horses huffed and whined, and you both stood as still as you could. The ferry seemed to be inching along steadily, you both easing as you crawled to the midway point and further away from shore. 

“Okay, this isn’t so bad,” You said as you sighed. Levi’s arm gradually slackened at your waist; it seemed he was also less apprehensive at seeing you both nearly there.

“Thank goodness fer that. Seems this dinghy of a ferry is sturdy enough.” He said, inspecting the worn wood that seemed to be thrown together in a hurry.

Splash. 

The sounds of commotion and uproar broke around you, the horses nearly bucked and kicked away— had it not been for the training, your stallion would not have settled. Your stomach turned in on itself as a mother’s screaming pierced your eardrums. She and her husband clutched their other two children as he held her back. 

Before you could regain your focus and get a hold of the situation, Levi thrust his mare’s reins into your hands. 

“Hold onto them tightly, if ya stay calm she’ll obey!” He said as he pulled away from you. He threw off his coat, pulling out the pistols from their holsters, quickly shucking his boots and hat at your feet. 

“The money is in my coat pocket!” He said hurriedly as he lunged. 

“Levi, what are you—!?” You screamed as he charged and jumped headfirst into the running waters. You, the family, and the ferryman scanned the water. The people at either shore joined the cacophony of screams. 

The child screamed and flailed in the water as it came up for air. Even as the child tried to keep its head above water, coughing forced the child under again. You finally caught sight of Levi, who finally emerged, and swam with all of his might towards the child who was being carried further and further downstream.  

You agonized seeing how strong the current was or the way it pulled the child under time and time again. Soon, Levi too pushed his body against the current, disappearing under the murky surface. 

The sound of your heart racing filled your ears; you were frozen in place. Time felt like it was slowing down as the sound of your heartbeat seemed to drown out everything else. It was taking long, far too long for them to resurface. You knew they needed air, and they weren’t coming back up. 

Minutes passed, and the mother had broken down, the father beginning to sob as he held his children.

There was no way this was happening to you. 

You both had just started to get to know each other. Levi was always true to his word. You both were going to make it to Fort Laramie; that’s what he had said. He taught you how to ride your horse, showed you how to survey the land, and taught you how to make meals out of the simplest of ingredients. 

He was going to teach you how to shoot, just as he had with Marco, and at Fort Laramie, you’d finally be free enough to get to know him better before he set off again. You had so much more to ask him, so much more to learn, not just about the world or your new freedom, but him.

This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening. Not to you. Not again. Another person you cared for was being taken away. First, your parents, then your tribe, then your friends, and the world you knew. You could feel yourself begin to move as if on autopilot as the ferry came to a stop. You walked the horses and his belongings off the ferry and onto the shore.  

“Please don’t take him away, too.” You whispered as you began to tremble. Your horse, sensing your tension, pressed its muzzle to the side of your face, nuzzling you gently. That’s when the tears came. You sobbed, and you didn't realize you had begun to hiccup when a wet hand placed itself on your shoulder. 

“Are you hurt!? Is everything alright?!” A familiar, deep, and smooth voice said as you were drawn back to the present. You hadn’t heard the cheers erupting around you at the child having been saved. Levi loomed in close as he inspected your face and person for any signs of injury.

He was soaked to the bone, his shirt clinging to him in places that fried the singular part of your mind that wasn’t in a complete panic. Water dripped from his cheeks, and his dark hair clung wildly to his brow. Without a second thought, you threw your arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder as you held him close. You didn’t care if one of the new shirts he had gotten for you down at the Kansas River was completely soaked through. Levi was stiff and wide-eyed as he froze. You had never been this close to him before, and he certainly felt like he was at a loss, especially as you pressed into him. 

“You’re alive,” You said as you held him close to you. People cheered around you both, applauding and giving in to merriment at the reunion.

“'Course I am, brat! It’ll take more than a little water to take me down. Tch, did you even doubt?” He said with a huff as he continued to catch his breath. Seeing that you still wouldn’t settle, he rolled his eyes as he relented. He pulled his arms around you, his body trying to recall how to provide comfort to another person. He felt the way you trembled, and he soon gently began to rub up and down your back to help you settle, just as his mother had once done for him. 

“Sensitive woman,” He said, only half-heartedly chiding you.

Again, he could feel something causing his chest to tighten. It was the same feeling that had swept over him when he met you in Independence, and the same one that caused the stone in his chest to begin to thrum and ache whenever you stared at him too long. 

It was the same feeling that made him want to see you rest and enjoy sleeping in once in a while. It was also the same feeling that overtook him when his eyes had lingered at your lips and marveled when you wore that dress down at the Kansas River.

“I am so glad you’re back,” you said, your voice trembling with tears. His icy-steel colored eyes softened as they met yours, only seeming to thaw the longer you both maintained your gaze. 

Something was changing between the two of you. Something new and unspoken. That something was as untraveled and unpredictable as this road you were both journeying on. 

Chapter Text

Fort Kearny, Nebraska - William Henry Jackson

“So, Doc, what's the matter with her? Is she sick? She wasn’t running a temperature, last time I’d checked.” Levi said, folding his arms across his chest as his lips pulled into a tight line.

“Well, it seems she’s suffered a great fright. It almost looks like what might happen to someone with ‘traumatic neuroses’ or perhaps ‘hysteria’,” The elder doctor said as he rubbed his glasses clean.

“Could ya kindly break that down fer me in English?” Levi said, as the words seemed to draw a blank in his mind.

“Well, sometimes when someone suffers a great fright, or a shock, it gives them a real blow down to their nerves. Sometimes these folks have nightmares, they tremble, or they have visions of what might have happened to them. Sometimes folks like that take a blow to the heart and need a considerable amount of rest and attention. It’s a condition of the heart and mind, you see. At the moment, it’s still a lot of conjecture, my boy, but rest assured, we can get her some herbs and a syrup to help her get some rest.” The doctor said as he began to write up a prescription. 

Levi pulled out his money pouch to pay, when the doctor stopped him.

“Come now, I’ll have none of that. You saved my only grandson down at the river, and we don’t know how we’ll ever be able to repay you! Not to mention you and your woman are making quite the name for yourselves out on the trail. Leaving behind a trail of good deeds, or so, that's what people are starting to say,” The older man said, as he passed Levi the prescription.

“People are talking?” Levi said with a hint of worry in his tone. He wanted to keep your journey as clandestine as possible. He scrunched up his nose, frustrated that it wasn’t the case. Levi responded in a subdued voice as he attempted to read the doctor's writing on the prescription.

“Only if you’re sure, Doc. Saving that kid was just the right thing to do, and that doesn't need a reward. But, there’s the matter ‘bout _______. You see, we’re just…” Levi searched his entire vocabulary; ‘charge’ felt too informal, and ‘companion’ sounded too suggestive.

“He’s my friend, my dearest friend,” You said softly as you emerged from the examination room. A nurse had draped a blanket over your shoulders as you gently pulled it around you. 

“Ah, friends.Very good friends. I see. Wonderful.” The doctor said as he sat and folded his hands on his desk, looking between the two of you with a warm smile. A hint of rouge crept into both of your cheeks at the way he had said it. Something about it felt right and apt. 

Friends. No longer acquaintances, and much further away from strangers. Something in Levi wanted to balk and panic at the word, but the way you said it made him stay quiet. 

Levi helped escort you out of the doctor’s office, and soon you both were headed back to the lodge. Fort Kearny was lush and green, with structures made of brick and wood, as it bustled with travelers and cavalrymen. 

Your mind was in such a blur, you hadn’t even realized when he had taken your arm in his to lead you to the room you’d both been given in the lodge.

“But Levi, we’ll lose so many days— and I can’t even imagine how expensive this will be. It’s unconscionable.” You said as you sat down at the foot of your bed. It was a small room with two simple beds and a washroom.

“We are stayin’ put and that’s the end of the discussion. I won’t be hearin’ anymore lip out of you.” Levi said firmly as he stood against the door. He ran his fingers through his dark hair in what could be frustration.

“What the Doc said is the law as far as I am concerned. And once he comes by to check on ya, I ain’t movin’ until he gives word.” 

With the way he was looking at you, you knew there would be no talking your way out of this one, and if you were frank, you didn’t have the energy to do so. You sighed and pulled the blanket they had given you at the doctor’s office around your shoulders. 

You nodded quietly, feeling guilt weave itself into whatever else was brewing. 

“Stay here, and I’ll go get yer medicine. Rest up.” No sooner had Levi spoken, he had vanished, shutting the door firmly behind him. 

You sighed as you flopped back down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. The short walk here had been exhausting, and the examination had been too. Shame joined the ever-growing list of terrible feelings that were lodging themselves into the pit of your gut. 

You shivered, despite not feeling cold. The only consolation was the feeling of the plush blanket as you pulled it over your head, as your body gave in to what it so desperately wanted: sleep.

Darkness enveloped your senses, and you finally felt as though you were falling into a deep and restful sleep. You felt warm, comfortable, and at ease—a far cry from the events of the days before this.

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

You felt the warmth of fire at your back. You smiled to yourself as you heard the sounds of friends and family gathered around, as they often did in the evening. After a long day of gathering berries, your mother and father sat with your grandmother and the other elders to discuss particulars of where they would hunt or forage in the morning. The men checked the perimeter and tended to the fires.

It was the scent of the deep and sweet pine roasting on the communal fire that settled your body and perfumed the air.

You lie in perfect peace, huddled into the furs of your bedroll. Mother would be there soon, and you’d both have a cuddle as you fell into a deep sleep. 

Your body got heavier as everything began to melt away.

That’s when you heard the sound that sounded like no animal you’d ever heard before. It was sharp and loud, like a thunder clap, and your nose burned from within. As a child, you would soon learn that was the sound of a gun being fired.

As you shot up in bed, hands covered your mouth as you were peeled off the bedroll. You struggled and screamed against the faceless figure that pulled you away from everything you knew. Red flames and screams filled the air, the heat scalding your face as your parents faded into thick black smoke.

You could feel your cries choke in your throat as you felt the cruel hands hit you in a place that knocked the stars into your eyes and shot you into a hot darkness.

Tendrils of dark striped you of your tunic and furs and set you into clothing that they had called “dignified”. A cotton dress two sizes too big and shoes that hurt your feet every time you took a step. The monstrous teacher snapped a ruler at your desk, whipping and whipping at it until it snapped in a way that made you call out. You begged for it to stop as you ran from your desk and somehow landed on stage back at the academy.

Children laughed and laughed as you struggled to pronounce the foreign words and letters that were so different from what the creator had taught the ancestors. You called out to your ancestors, your parents, for anyone, and anything to come and take you off stage. 

Suddenly, the wood beneath you caved, and you fell forward until you fell back into the cold, hard cell where Thomas had kept you. The headmaster of the academy you worked for was looking to make a quick buck to settle his gambling bets by setting you up for capture. The metal chains around your hands and ankles burned and rattled, while the one at your neck seemed to tighten every time you screamed. To your horror, you could hear a creature stalking in the dark just out of view of your cage. It stalked and snarled as it circled you. The presence faded as a spotlight suddenly shone on the figure of a man.

Zeke stood at your cage looking as if he were looking past it, unable to see it.

He was searching, stalking, moving in a way that seemed more animal than human despite his decorated military suit. He bared his teeth and snarled in a way that was primal when he heard a familiar voice call out for you somewhere past the darkness of your cage. 

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

You woke up gasping, pushing, and shoving until your eyes focused on those familiar steel colored eyes. 

“Shh, shh, it’s me. It’s just me,” Levi said as he kept his arms around you, tightening as you finally gasped and began to weep. It was afternoon as the sun hung in the sky. 

The lodge owner and his wife were at the door, having gone to get Levi when your neighbors had heard your screams. Levi looked back at them apologetically as he tried to comfort you. 

“Goodness, the poor thing,” the woman said as she opened the window to let in fresh air. The proprietor and owner of the lodge held his hat in his hands, seeming to be grieved. Apparently, your screams had been so bloodcurdling they could be heard down the halls of much of the building. 

When you had settled and Levi had exchanged words with the proprietors of the lodge, he returned to your side, pulling up a chair. He set the medicinal syrup and packet of herbs prescribed by the doctor onto the modest nightstand.

The lines of his face were tight with concern, as he bunched his hands in front of his face and studied you quietly. 

“It’s getting worse,” He said flatly, and it was a statement of fact. Since departing from Big Blue River and what happened there, you started to eat less and spend more time on your own. Levi always found you staring into the expanse of blue in the sky, never truly present.

It took Levi repeating himself several times for you to come to and reorient to the task at hand. The first couple of times, he had admonished you and been stern and forceful, seeing that you were being completely careless when setting away the food or picking up camp. It was when he saw that you couldn’t find it in yourself to speak or react to that he called you ‘woman’ in the way you despised. It was at that moment that he knew something was amiss. 

He checked your temperature and inspected the food. He checked your riding gear and clothes, all of which were free of damage and pests. He filtered and drew fresh water, dumping out all the old to ensure you had what was as pure as possible.

He had caught you quails and pheasants, and even made you corncakes and flapjacks with hopes of coaxing you into eating the sweet and savory things he had noticed you had taken a shine to. 

Every time, you managed only a bite or two before the color in your face went pale, and you set the skillet aside, citing that you felt full on the morsel of food you had. You thanked him profusely, the gestures not being lost on you, despite your lack of energy. The reality was that the cakes and roasted things you had enjoyed had lost their savor. 

Back in the present, Levi was fussing over the flimsy little kettle he had taken from the mess hall.

“Here,” Levi said gruffly as he took the packet of herbs and used the measurements the doctor had given him as he packed the herbs with care. He poured water into the mug as he passed it over to you. 

“Wait a bit before you drink it down, Doc said This should set you right.” He wiped his cheek where you had cut him when you had tried to shove him away. The sight only made you feel even worse. 

“I am so sorry… I just, I don’t know what’s come over me.” As you blew on the piping hot tea, the scent of flowers, herbs, and dried fruit wafted up to you. 

“Don’t be, yer just feelin’ under the weather. Got some kind of infection or somethin’. Don’t know if the doctor knew what he was talkin’ about just yet.” He said, his face tensing in vexation. 

“All you need is some food in ya and a good night's sleep on an actual bed.” He said in a huff as he pushed the chair back against the wall, and he sat.

Truly, he wasn’t angry at you, but the thing he hated more than a routine out of line, laziness, or sloppiness was a problem he couldn’t solve. And especially one he couldn’t seem to understand. How could the problem be with your mind?

You had made it out of Independence and quickly adapted to journeying on the trail, except for the first couple of weeks, when you had to get used to each other and learn from the ground up. You had shaped up quicker than any of his cadets, something that engendered a sort of pride in him every time you did something right. 

He huffed as he stewed. In his tension, he tapped his foot as he turned to look out the window and see the bustle of wagons rolling through Fort Kearny. 

“Do you want your honey?” He said as he stood up and made his way over to your belongings, rifling through until he brought it back over to you. Before you could protest, he was already dropping a very keenly measured glob of honey into the piping hot brew, setting in the spoon. 

“Gotta get the color back in your cheeks,” He said as he looked you up and down.

“Levi, again, I am so sorry about worrying you and everyone here…” You said softly, this was the first time you were unable to occult the nightmares and to very ill effect. It still felt like your heart was trying to race out of your chest. Levi watched, his eyes fixed on the mug as you brought it up to your lips. 

You tried to take deep breaths as you blew on the tea and attempted to sip. It was the first thing in days that went down and warmed your bones as it did so. Blowing at the steam as it pleasantly scalded its way down, the honey and delicate flavor of the aromatics made you smile. Levi’s eyes widened as he continued to watch, seeming to try to contain his emotions. 

Success. A small one, but a triumphant one as Levi seemed to slump back into his seat.

“Well, at least you are finally drinkin’ something.”

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

Over the next couple of weeks, you gradually regained your strength, sipping warm tea and eating morsels of bread and warm oats. All the sleeping and “resting” never truly replenished you just yet. 

Levi’s own eyes began to look tired and spent as he tried to keep awake, to keep watch against the silent intruder that robbed you of sleep night after night. He would gently shake you awake at the first signs of discomfort in your sleeping face.

That morning, Levi made his way into town, trusting that the syrup would afford you at least a couple of decent hours of shut-eye. He needed to clear his head, if just for a moment. 

I don’t do people, I ain’t no good at stuff like this.

The familiar words replayed in his mind. He had always been solitary, never caring much to be around folks for longer than he had to. Back in Germany, he did a job and did it quickly. Doing this usually granted him a couple of days of solitude between the marks the duke would send him or his uncle. He had apartments, and he had rooms where he could finally enjoy peace. Even a predator, a deadly one like him, needed rest. A lifestyle like this meant he always moved, never stagnated, a new night, a new city.

Only rules the duke would honor in Levi’s code— no women, or children. Anyone else, though, that was more than fair game.

Hundreds, who was he kidding, was it thousands? 

Faceless politicians, kingpins, or their playthings meeting their ends between his blade and the sound of his voice as he whispered the name of those they had ‘wronged’ or ‘offended’. He always did it elegantly, in a way that would make everything quick and ensure he didn’t get so much as a drop of blood on his freshly pressed suits. 

All the years of acrobatics and gymnastics had come in handy; the application of his art, combined with whatever his uncle had taught him, made for something truly terrifying as it was beautiful. It had earned him many names in the underbelly of Europe and back in Germany. The Ghost of Austria, or The Panther of Berlin, was stalking through the dark before a victim was seemingly snuffed out like a candle flame. 

A man like that had no need of connection, right? 

“Who am I kidding? I can’t even figure out what the fuck is wrong with her.” He said as he took a cigarette delicately between his fingers and began to take a drag. He hated the scent and the taste just as much, considering it to be a most filthy habit. But when he was really out of sorts, the smell of burning tobacco always seemed to snap him back into the present. 

Why do I even fucking try? Am I just lying to myself? Pretending to be something I am not? The dark words and thoughts continued to swirl as the spicy and tangy taste of the cigarette filled his lungs and burned. He needed it to burn. 

“Starting today. You are a beast, a killer, nothing more.” The voice of the archduke echoed since that first day years ago.

With a puff of smoke, he snuffed out the memories. 

The bags under Levi’s eyes had become dark and dramatic, making him look paler than he should— the nights of lackluster sleep taking their toll. He threw the cigarette to the ground as he stamped it out. As he was turning to make his way to check up on you. No sooner had he taken a step than he slammed right into a blond-headed young man who seemed to stammer as his bright blue optics met his.

“Captain, C-captain Levi?” A small, timid voice followed before two other voices joined in. 

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

The sound of multiple voices and footsteps stomped down the hall to your room. 

“No, no, no! Absolutely not! Now turn around and get the hell out! Y’all are really startin’ to piss me off!”

“But, Captain, please! They only gave us enough to be able to stay the night with no supper!” 

“Please! We don’t mind, we'll sleep on the floor and keep quiet!”

“GET. OUT. NOW!”

Levi threw the door open, his eyes were narrowed, and the hard lines of his face were taut from anger as he tried to barricade the doorway. Levi’s stature, unfortunately, did not do much to occult anything. You were wide-eyed as you sat on your bed, still not out of your white sheer sleeping gown. 

That’s when, one after the other, the youthful-looking cavalrymen peeked over Levi’s shoulder and turned bright red. Even the young woman who seemed to bear a striking resemblance to the man you’d been traveling with seemed to blush as she pulled a red scarf up over her lips and cheeks as she beheld you. 

Levi also felt the heat rising from the base of his neck, traveling up to his cheeks. You had eaten your cornbread and even most of the soup the lodge owner’s wife had given to you. For the first time in weeks, the color was beginning to return to your cheeks as you were bathed in the soft mid-morning light. 

Levi gulped, silently tipping his hat at you as he stepped back out and shut the door quietly. You couldn’t see it, but you could definitely hear the scene.

“Um, C-captain is she your—” 

The one who had spoken was swiftly clobbered over the head, and one of the others had a muffled scream as they made loud contact with the wooden floor. The other was admonished despite having clearly protested and vowed that they wouldn’t let it slide the next time ‘Eren’ was disciplined physically. 

The absurdity and lightheartedness of the moment caused you to laugh heartily from within the room. 

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

The oil lamp burned at the nightstand that separated you both, another evening having crept up on you.

Levi sat down after he washed his face in the basin, huffing as he sat in the chair at his bedside. 

“So, will they be staying with us?” You said with a bit of curiosity in your tone.

“Not directly, I would blow a gasket…” He said as he tipped his hat over his eyes, relishing the dark and quiet. He sighed as he considered how much the cost of lodgings for them had set him back. 

“It’s very kind of you to help them,” You said with a slight smile on your lips, as you began to pour yourself a cup of the medicinal tea. You opened your honey jar, adding a dollop of the golden substance to the rich, amber-colored water. 

“Help them? My ass! They are working to pay back every cent they are making me shell out. Damn entitled brats.” He scoffed as he sighed and sat up. 

“Can you believe the nerve of them? Asking a past higher-ranking officer for money and food? A night without supper might have done them some good.” He began to pull off his coat and his holsters, undoing the buckles as he went along. You sipped your tea as he continued, feeling the pleasant soothing warmth it provided. 

You couldn't help but chuckle at his plight, seeing how exasperated he was. 

“Tch, you think this is funny?” He said he clicked his tongue and turned away from you as he continued to undress. Somewhere between him telling you the story of how he had met Private Arlert, Yeager, and Ackerman when they were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed teens and when he began to pull off his shirt, his words seemed to melt, if not fade away. 

He was taut and well-formed as he stretched and pulled his shirt off, his muscles coiling with ease. It revealed that the porcelain skin of his back and chest was littered with scars you hadn’t seen before. 

His body told a story, one you so desperately wanted to learn more about. Despite being so battle-hardened, you couldn’t explain the delicate lines of his face and jaw. And you truly could never understand why his eyes only ever seemed to thaw when you regarded each other. 

Back at the Kansas River, when he went to bathe, you hadn’t dared to look. He had mercifully walked out of sight when he had gone to bathe, but a quiet voice in the back of your mind had always asked, would it be so bad just to take one peek? 

Only to add to that conflict, the kindness and understanding he conveyed in his actions seemed to astonish you with every passing day. Sure, he was rough, demanding, and stubborn, but since the Kansas River, you felt something begin to change. That something made you feel warmth and endearment whenever he was near. He was giving and caring in his own way. You knew that, despite having chastened the cavalrymen next door, he had still settled the bill promptly and paid for them to have meals through their stay. 

The warmth you felt was something hypnotic and unspeakable. Despite the cold in your heart due to the realization of how heavy everything had been since you lost your parents, it seemed that light and mercy seemed to find their way to you as if carried on eagle's wings.

The same mercy that hadn’t taken him away when you had thought he had drowned at the Big Blue River.

Wait…Was that why?

“Hey, open up,” Levi said as he held a spoonful of purple syrup up before your lips. You blushed as he brought the spoon closer.

“I can do it myself, you don’t have to—“ 

“Don’t remember askin’” He murmured as he curled his fingers and tipped up your chin. Gently, he spoon-fed you the purple medicinal syrup. It tasted of boysenberries and herbs, with a light tinge of alcohol that stung at the end. The gesture was surprisingly caring and tender. It would have been remiss to say it hadn’t affected you. It sparked wonder in how he reserved these particular attentions and gestures only for you. 

You both sat quietly, and suddenly you were as coherent as you had been in days. Your chin on his calloused fingertips felt more than pleasant. His eyes inspected your face, seeing how the pale color was giving way to more of your lively bronze tint. That familiar draw compelled you both to stare. It conveyed something ancient within you both that seemed to understand without words. He unhanded you gently, humming softly in approval as he tipped his head to you to convey he was satisfied with whatever he had hoped to accomplish. 

Levi padded over to his bed, beginning the task of setting pillows along the headboard, then barricading the only door to your room as he had done every night. He put the final touches, a knife under his pillow and pistols on either nightstand. He was going to go to bed, sitting up against the headboard again. 

You knew the cue, you moved to turn off the oil lamp, catching the hint of something in his eyes just before the room went dark. The dark gave way to the moonlight that spilled into the bedroom.

“Good night, Levi… thank you.”

“Hmph, night.” 

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

The next morning, you woke to four sets of optics watching you rest. The blond-headed young man whom you seemed to recall was named Armin, and he seemed to be scribbling down some notes at your bedside, along with the young woman Mikasa, who looked over to his notepad, wrapt with attention. 

Eren, a boy with brown hair and striking green eyes, stood beside Levi at the door. You finally sat up, still feeling heavy from the effects of the syrup as you yawned and stared at them sleepily. 

“Armin ‘n’ Mikasa. Y’all stay here while I head out with Eren. Mikasa can join us when y’all finish up. ________, I’ll be back. I’ve got to help Eren with somethin’.” 

As soon as Levi left, you began to come to your senses and realized you had been left in the company of two people you didn’t know. 

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

“So, I hope you don’t mind sharing, but how did it all start?” Armin said as he used his knife to sharpen his pencil. Mikasa, despite how imposing her stare seemed to be, stood behind you as she had begun to comb through your damp hair with a surprising gentleness. Her features were delicate and Asian; her raven bob complemented the soft lines of her face. She had convinced you to shower and get dressed, helping you pick a sky blue dress, one of the many outfits you had modeled for her and Armin between questions. 

“Well, I guess it started after we left the Big Blue River. The next day, I just couldn’t sleep, and then it got worse.” You said a bit quietly as you looked between the two young cadets. 

Armin, who seemed to be even more intrigued, wrote everything down as quickly as he could.

“And what about all the physical things like eating, sleeping, and getting dressed?” He said softly as he continued to write.

“It’s been terrible, save these past couple of days. I don’t feel like doing much on most days, and I am barely getting a taste for food. The syrup has helped me to get some decent sleep; there have been lots of nightmares when I didn’t have it. The tea seems to be calming me down and warming me up...” 

Mikasa had begun weaving your hair into a French braid, and Armin seemed to be lost in thought, blue eyes staring at the ceiling as he considered. 

“Private, what do you happen to do as a cavalryman?” You murmured. He looked up at you and smiled softly as he began to nod. 

“My apologies, ma’am. I am Private Armin Arlert, a medic in training and strategist. Since the Captain is going out of his way for us, we decided we’d lend a helping hand.” 

“Oh, that’s impressive, and you miss Mikasa?” She took in a soft breath as she tied off the end of your braid with a burgundy ribbon as she spoke.

“I look after Eren and Armin, and make sure the job gets done.” Something about the way she said that made you chuckle, and Armin pout.

“Now, Mikasa, that isn’t fair. You know that out of all of us, Eren is the boldest, and I do my best to hold my own, thank you very much.”

Mikasa looked over at Armin with a raised brow as she shook her head. 

“Oh yeah? And then I am the one left bailing you both out.” At this, Armin seemed to fold his arms and hang his head with a sigh, unable to counter. You smiled as you looked back and over at Mikasa.

“It’s true, most men usually need a woman to get the job done,” You said with a wink as Mikasa seemed to smile at you from over her scarf as she nodded. 

Soon, you all were out on the town, the first sunlight you had seen in weeks. 

The light was blinding as you followed Armin and Mikasa on their patrol. They checked in at all the shops and stalls, even stopping to greet travelers as they passed through. Apparently, the three cavalrymen had been tasked to get acquainted with check-ins at all the forts along with other assigned tasks. 

The sun felt warm and good as it touched your skin; the walking and fresh air seemed to improve your mood. Hearing the families and lone travelers check in with Armin and Mikasa began to provide some kind of ease. Some people had experienced hardships, while others were thrilled at the prospect of reaching Oregon to start a new life. Mikasa and Armin took turns, gently taking you by the arm, walking you throughout the fort.

It was lush and green and seemed to bustle with life. 

Quickly, you all found yourself losing track of time. You had found a small creek where Armin and Mikasa taught you the finer details about how to get a stone to skip across the still water in the pond, and you all then headed over to a pen filled with goats, sheep, and hens being trailed by their chicks. 

The goat's lips tickled your hand as they came up to eat the leaves you would pluck from the tree to feed them. The woolen sheep were friendly too, the little lambs tripping over themselves as they came to nip at the hem of your dress. Poor Armin had fallen into a trough of water as a goat hadn’t taken kindly to him, shoved him in as he stepped in too close for comfort. You and Mikasa couldn’t help but laugh, the first time you had seen her go to pieces and smile as brightly as she did. 

Hm, so this was joy.

These little wonders would have been lost to you if Mikasa and Armin hadn’t gently pushed you to get out of bed this morning.

As you had an early supper with Mikasa and Armin, the blond-haired youth tipped his dark hat and excused himself as he said he had one last stop for the day, one he wanted to get to most urgently. 

You sat with Mikasa and nearly hummed. You couldn’t believe you had been missing out on fried chicken, buttery mashed potatoes, and piping hot corn bread while lying in your bed all those days.

“So, you and the Captain?” Mikasa said softly as she spooned some of the steamed greens onto her mashed potatoes and took a bite. 

You smiled softly as you looked down at your nearly entirely consumed plate, smiling to see that the food had gone down well. 

“It’s a long story,” You murmured as you took a sip of water, knowing there was indeed much to tell. 

“Well, we have plenty of time. Not many other women out on the trail, I am more than game. Especially after having to listen to Armin and Eren go back and forth about whatever they decide to talk about.” She said with a small smile. 

So, you did. You told her about how Levi had broken you out in Independence, and your travels up until now that had brought both you closer and closer to Fort Laramie. You even began to talk about how you had been kidnapped at a young age, your time at the academy, and the reservation. 

You were so engrossed that you didn’t notice when Armin had pulled up a chair and begun to listen intently as he returned. You all seemed to immediately fall into a sense of camaraderie, laughing as you told them about how Levi straightened out Marco, or the particular way he even seemed to have a system for everything he did. 

“Oh boy. Marco is so lucky he didn’t clobber him over the head like he used to. He was even more terrifying than Commander Shadis back when we first met him.” Armin said, laughing and picking at his food. 

“The Captain has always been a recluse, never traveling with the group unless he really had to,” Armin said as he took stock of the meal before him.

“It’s because he can’t tolerate anyone, and no one can tolerate him. Unless it was Commander Erwin or Commander Hange, and I figure they only put up with him also.” Mikasa said this with an uninterested look, before looking back at you.

“And he rescued you because?” Mikasa interjected, causing her and Armin to seem to pay even more special attention as they leaned in.

“Well, you see, that’s the thing—he’s actually never told me why he is going through all this trouble.” You said as you rubbed the back of your head.

“I am sure he would say something like, ‘It was the right thing to do,’ the same thing that he told me after he jumped into that river…and saved that boy,” You felt your body tense as the last words left your lips, feeling something cold threatening to claw its way back into the pit of your stomach. 

Mikasa’s dark eyes seemed to warm with understanding and recognition as you explained. She said nothing as she stood to rise and excuse herself to bus her dishes. 

Armin had pulled out his notebook and continued to jot down what you said thoughtfully before taking a bite of chicken. 

“Well, Captain Levi is pretty strong and good at what he does. I don’t think even the rapids could stop him, even if they tried.” Armin said to try to soothe you. 

“But that’s just it, Armin, what if they did?” Your eyes became glassy as tears suddenly began to fall. This surprised Armin, who immediately stood up and rushed to your side. Before you could register, Armin gently rubbed your shoulder. Mikasa returned soon after setting down a mug of piping hot tea before you. She had already gone and returned from your room to fetch you your tea. She had even somehow managed to add just the right amount of honey to make it taste just right. 

“No more talk for the rest of the evening, Armin. I think she needs some rest and some space.” Mikasa said as she had taken to rubbing your other shoulder. At this, Armin nodded, looking at you apologetically.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry, ma’am. I apologize,” He said in a small voice. 

“And why is she crying?” An imposing voice rasped as it came from behind you all. Mikasa glared up while Armin’s face went even more pale with worry. 

Levi stood behind you all, his shirt and trousers covered in hay and dirt. Eren wasn’t faring much better; his dark black uniform was covered in bright green marks, where his horse had dragged him. His leg had gotten caught in the reins during his dismount, spooking the animal in the process. 

“Someone answer me, and answer me quickly. I’ve already had a shit day with this one. It will be an actual miracle if he pulls through by the time y’all make it to Chimney Rock.” 

That’s when Armin stood, gulping as he did so. He removed his black hat as he pulled his free hand into a salute. 

“Private Arlert, nearly private, second class, Sir. Based on my training and the information obtained, I decided to have Private Mikasa and ______ come along while we conducted our patrols to see if she could manage walking, eating, and engaging in conversation. All of which she did exceedingly well.” Armin said, trying to keep his voice as metered as he could. 

“And that’s why you disobeyed a direct order to keep her in her room? You still haven’t told me why she is crying.” Levi snapped, as the hair on the back of his neck appeared to bristle as he glanced at the tears on your cheeks. 

“Yes, I take full responsibility, and I have the medical notes right here with my rationale. The tears were my fault because I said something insensitive," Armin said as he presented his notepad, flipping it back to where he had taken notes about you. 

“I am crying because I got tender-hearted. Mikasa and Armin really helped me a lot today. They were wonderful, actually.” You spoke softly, wiping the tears with your dress sleeve and affording a tender smile as they seemed to ease up.

Levi’s eyes were rough, only softening slightly as he saw the way you had smiled. He snatched the notebook from Armin’s hand with a sneer, calling out as he made his way back to the hall that connected the mess hall to the rest of the rooms.

“I’ll make the final determination once I get cleaned up,” Levi said, huffing as he slammed the door behind him. 

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

Armin’s neatly printed notes and diagrams afforded no solace as Levi stared blankly at the student’s prognosis that, in his opinion, was far from medically oriented.

Melancholy. Sadness. Nostalgia. Irritable Heart.

Levi was tense as Armin rang the bell back at the front desk at the doctor's office.

“Just a moment,” The kind old doctor said as he emerged from his office.

“Oh, Mr. Ackerman, and Private Arlert. Well done, thank you for bringing Mr. Ackerman back for me.” The old man smiled, waving Levi back to his office.

“Armin, my boy. Please wait out here and let me know if we get any other visitors this evening.” Armin nodded politely as Levi and the doctor disappeared into the office.

“So, how is she faring?” The doctor said as he folded his hands at his desk.

He had checked up on you once a week since you arrived at Fort Kearny.

“Well, it was pretty terrible, Doc. She was screamin’ and having nightmares, and she could hardly eat. Until she had that tea and syrup you gave her, she finally got some shut-eye.” Levi rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes retaining that sleepy and fatigued quality.

“Ahh, and you’ve been looking after her?” The doctor said softly.

“Of course. Been losing sleep over it, going crazy tryin’ to figure it out. Tried to feed her this, and that. I opened the window and closed it. Tried sitting her in the sun and then getting her in the shade when she looked too faint. I even used both cool and hot water to run her baths. Frankly, I was going to call whatever you’d given me snake oil cause she wasn’t gettin’ any better.” Levi said as he looked over at the doctor incredulously, to which the doctor chuckled in a good-spirited way.

“You could have been a physician with that mind of yours, trying to solve the problem the way you did.” The doctor said as he looked up at Levi.

“So, what has gotten her better?” The doctor asked softly. 

“That tea and syrup you’ve given her,” Levi said as he finally reclined in the old wooden chair, which creaked. 

“Hmm, I see. Well, I appreciate the credit, my boy, but I am afraid all of that has a minor part to play.” The doctor said softly. 

“Mr. Ackerman, you described her symptoms, and so did she. But has she ever really told you that she was sick?” The doctor continued as he smiled.

It was at that moment Levi stared back at the doctor, his face exchanging out his stoic features for ones of surprise. 

“Hmph, suppose she didn’t,” Levi admitted as he began to consider. 

“Remember, I told you, what she had experienced was a blow to her heart?”

“Yes, Doc,” Levi said as he began to fret even more, worried that today’s excursion with Armin and Mikasa had left you with more damage than good.

“Well, I meant a blow to her sensitivities, son, her emotions, her heart.” The doctor said as he reached over his desk, tapped a finger to Levi’s chest over his beating heart. Levi sat dumbstruck in his chair as his cheeks seemed to drain of their color.

“Sometimes the only way to heal is through talking, resting, and being taken care of by those who love us most. That’s what friends are for,” The doctor said with a bright smile as he folded his hands again.

“You’re very astute, you know. The herbs were no more potent than the tea we would drink. The natives mostly used the herbs for relaxation, while the syrup is just standard cough syrup to help her get some sleep. Whatever time, attention, and presence you gave her— that’s what’s doing the trick.” 

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

You were set back in your room, Mikasa and Eren sitting with you as they began to swap tales of surviving Commander Shadis’ grueling training routine or their first experiences with Commanders Erwin and Hange when they all first became cadets.

More and more, you were learning about Levi and his secretive world and those who made it up. You drank in every detail you could. 

Levi had gotten his start as a sheriff out somewhere on the East Coast and was soon renowned for his aptitude with weaponry and pragmatic approach to bringing criminals to justice. It was not unnoticed by the local military, who brought him on to train cadets and use his talents to do the footwork the Commanders could not do themselves.

Before you could learn more about him, Levi opened the door to your bedroom to find you all comfortably huddled together in your bed, cozied up under the blankets. Armin smiled, scuttling past Levi and throwing himself onto your bed with a loud thud.

“Lord almighty, this ain’t no sleepover! You brats take yourselves to bed.” Levi said with fatigue in his voice as he set up his hat and coat. 

“But, we are heading out to Chimney Rock tomorrow!” Eren said as he still felt the throb in his back and tailbone from being dragged so far by his horse.

“Yeah, Captain. We’ve only just met ______. And we don’t know when we’ll all get to meet up again.” Armin said as he lay on his stomach at the foot of your bed.

Mikasa looked at you and smiled a bit as she rested her head on your shoulder in her version of silent protest. 

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Cadets!” Levi said, growing increasingly exasperated by the second. He was done, so ridiculously done. A man who had never imagined having children was doomed to parent everyone around him.

“Why not let her sleep with us tonight ?” Mikasa said she held your arm in the way a younger sister might do with an older sister. 

“Yeah!” The boys seemed to say in unison. 

Sadly, they lost the battle when, one by one, they were either pushed out or thrown out by the scruff of their necks. The young adults looked like abandoned puppies, save Mikasa, who merely glared at Levi as they sat out in the hallway.

“I’ll send her out before breakfast so she can join you before y’all head out, and not another moment sooner. But, if I catch you snooping ‘round my door this evening, Shadis isn’t the only thing you’ll have to fear catching your asses. Got it?” Levi said menacingly, as Eren and Armin seemed to brace.

“Yes, Sir!”

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

You and Levi were winding down for the night, both excusing yourselves to take turns showering or bathing. Though while there was access, Levi made sure you had a bath. Night after night, he drew the water for you, waving you in and promptly shut the door behind you as you had your nightly soak. 

You sank in until the water met your lips, and you began to blow bubbles with your mouth. You couldn’t remember feeling this at ease in a while. The tea, the medicine, the rest, and spending time with new friends seemed to be helping you blossom again. 

You smiled to yourself as you eased into the bath, noticing Levi’s bar of soap along the ring of the tub. You gently dampened it, taking in the scent of fresh cedar and pine. It made you smile as you set it back down and continued to finish your nightly routine. You were beginning to feel like yourself again. You stepped out, combing out your damp hair in the now darkened room.

You noticed a chair was set up before your bed; the sight made you raise your brow as you took a seat on it. Levi was already in his sleeping shirt and trousers, hair still damp from his shower. Soon, he approached as he finished adjusting the oil lamp on the nightstand that separated your beds.

He sat down with a thud, pulling the chair up as far as he could as he began to speak.

“Alright, yer going to tell me everything you know,” He said as the oil lamp cast shadows on his face. He held the spoon in his hand in an accusatory manner, pointing it at you as if it were a blade, and this was some interrogation. 

“Why do you cry? What’s keeping you from eatin’ and why are you waking up screaming?” He said sternly, his eyes brimming with intensity. You blinked comically as you stared, blindsided by the line of questioning.

“Uh, well. It’s complicated…” You said tentatively as you gently pushed the spoon he would be using to feed you syrup later, away from your face.

“Try me. What has been goin’ on? And don’t think to bullshit me either,” Levi said gruffly as he folded his arms at his chest and looked into your eyes, seeming to search for answers written on your features.

“Well, for starters. I think everything I’ve gone through has finally caught up with me. First, I thought I was under the weather, like you said. But every day felt cold, and I couldn’t stop shaking even if it was hot out. I knew something was wrong...” Your voice became tight and small, tears caught in your throat, desiring to rush out.

“I just. I keep having these terrible dreams of that man with the glasses who was going to buy me. Or my family…I  can’t remember their faces anymore,” You said as the tears began to fall. 

“With you, Armin, Mikasa, and Eren—I’ve started to feel more like myself, more like a person,” You said as you scooted back and brought your knees against your chest carefully. The tears really started to fall then.

“I’ve never been allowed just to be me, even if the real me is broken and tired of just surviving. I’ve met so many kind people because of you,” Levi stared quietly as you spoke, eyes flickering between the tears and your glance. His nose scrunched, unsure of how to console you.

“And it all felt horrible, because I thought I was going to lose all of that again, especially you, down at the Big Blue River.” 

Levi slumped back in his chair, the raw vulnerability of your disclosure seeming to physically weigh him down in his seat as he sat back.

“And I understand if you just want to be my acquaintance, but please know. I meant it, I see you as my dearest friend and always will.” You said as tears were beginning to fall silently.

The words seemed to wedge a flaming dagger into his heart at once. What was this feeling? He couldn’t breathe, and he couldn't think. It hurt, it felt good, it overpowered and overwhelmed. It felt like too many things all at once. 

His body seemed to move of its own accord as he stood up, promptly sitting beside you and pulling you into a one-armed embrace. Your head rested on his shoulder as you cried into the linen of his sleeping shirt. He stabilized you, holding you close and allowing you to sob until you quieted. His arm never moved as his thumb began to trace circles on your shoulder.

“Shh, shh. It’s alright. Look, I’m a proper brute. I’m no good at things like this,” He said softly as he spoke against your hair. 

“Hrm, tender-hearted woman. So, that’s what’s been going on.” He said gruffly, catching the scent of your lavender soap wafting from your damp tresses. He leaned away so he could better focus, feeling that strange tug hit him harder than it ever had before.

“I don’t have the answers or the right words fer ya, but I can offer this. I’m getting ya to Fort Laramie, come hell or high water. That’s a promise.” Levi said, feeling the echo of his mother and uncle reminding him of the sacredness of these pacts. And, because of you, he had already made two while on this journey.

“As fer being your friend,” He said, weighing the word in his mind carefully. The only two people who met that approximation were Erwin and Hange, even if it was ever so begrudgingly.

“I wouldn’t be troubled if you think that I could fit the bill as one…” His voice trembled as he spoke. 

“I think… I think I'd actually like to hear from you even after we got you set up at Fort Laramie.” He said softly. As you turned to look up into his face, you sniffled, trying to banish the rest of your tears.

The smile you gave him this time blossomed from a place deep within your being, from deep within your heart. That’s when it happened again since your first meeting. A soft, warm glow began to emanate from your fingertips until it started to radiate out to the rest of your being. 

The warm light illuminated Levi’s face as he studied you. He took your hands in his, inspecting them with wonder, not having seen anything like it before.

“What is this?” He said cautiously. Levi could feel the hum of something warm beneath your skin, gently letting your hands go as the golden light seemed to trickle onto his hands and make him gasp. A warmth had crept into Levi's chest, and he sighed as he sat back, as the sparkle seemed to fade into his fingertips. 

“Levi, are you alright?” You said it with a bit of worry as you pulled your hands away. The light gradually began to fade as you pulled back and inspected Levi with care. He let you examine him, seeing that the bags beneath his eyes seemed a little less dark and bruised than before. A trick of the dim lights, perhaps? 

“Yeah, honestly... Can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this rested?” Despite having felt a deep weariness and fatigue from the weeks of fretting over you, somehow Levi felt replenished and at ease, even despite what had just transpired. 

“Good, I was worried I had hurt you. You see, this ‘thing’ only started to happen to me when we met.” You said as you put a hand on his shoulder, looking apologetic. 

“We’ll have to keep that detail ‘bout you between us. Until we know what it is,” Levi said as he looked upon you with more concern. 

“We?” You said softly, fidgeting with your hands and feeling concern as you wondered what was happening to you.

“Yeah, you and I. You really think, I’d let ya try'n figure that out on your own after the grand ole time we just had tryin’ to fix ya up?” He tutted as he offered you a smirk.

He was going to see this through together with you? Warmth stirred within you, the glow beginning to return to your cheeks and skin as you thanked him with your glance. 

“Hell, I’ve seen lots of things, heard of even stranger ones out on the road, but I couldn't say I would believe it unless I’d seen it fer myself. Seems you’re the real deal,” He said softly as he took in the way you glowed, the same kind of awe and delight filling him as the first time he had seen the acrobats fly. 

The last of her kind. 

What exactly had that meant?