Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

            “So this is where you, like…made us?” Dave asked as they entered the ectobiology lab, eyes flitting from one machine to another in awe, or the coolkid equivalent of awe at the very least.

            “More like I pressed buttons like a jackass until suddenly there were eight babies,” John shrugged as he watched Dave go up to one of the big TVs. Dave began fiddling until he was viewing John in their current time on the TV. “When you were made, you literally screamed until I picked you up and rocked you. So, like, nothing has changed I guess,” John shrugged.

            Dave glared at the brunette. “Say what you will, but I have control of the viewport TV thing and I can go back to when you tripped on air earlier today,” Dave smirked, rewinding the viewport until he was viewing John eating shit, jumping up quickly and acting like nothing had happened.

            “You told me you didn’t see anything!” John shouted, cheeks turning pink. Dave shrugged.

            “I lied.”

            “Well there’s two viewports, so I can go back to when you were picking your nose when you thought I wasn’t looking!” John replied with a malicious grin, going over and bringing up Dave on the second TV, rewinding just 20 minutes earlier when Dave had his finger up his nose.

            “I had an itch!” Dave cried out defensively.

            “Oh yeah? Was the itch on your brain? Because damn Dave, you got some depth there!” John snickered. A message popped up briefly saying ‘target locked’ on the screen. “Oh! Looks like we are going to have to watch you eating your boogers forever, now that the target is locked or whatever!” John laughed, pointing at the screen. Dave’s ears went scarlet.

            “Ok, fine, then I’m going back to when we wrestled earlier and you definitely got a boner,” He huffed, rewinding to hours earlier when John had called off their impromptu wrestling match. The two watched as past John adjusted the growing bulge in his pants, face red in embarrassment and arousal.

            “It was an awkward boner! I couldn’t help it!” John screeched, face as red as his past self’s. The same message came up on Dave’s screen: target locked.

            “Oops, sorry dude but the target is locked now. I hope you didn’t choke the chicken in the bathroom because we are about to see it happen,” Dave sneered. John shoved the blonde, who of course shoved back. This started another wrestling match between the two teenagers.

            John gave a hard shove, causing Dave to stumble backwards into the buttons, his hand slamming down on a big blue button that had been pulsing lazily with light. All the lights in the lab began dimming and brightening rapidly, and the machines all began whirring loudly.

            “What did you do??” John shouted over the noise.

            “Me?? It was YOUR fat ass that shoved me into the control panel!” Dave yelled back. The machine noises were growing louder, and the control panel was lighting up frantically with various noises. There was a sudden flash of green light, and then everything hummed back to sleep. The lights went back to normal, both the viewports went black, and the lights on the control panel stopped lighting up at them.

            John and Dave exchanged nervous looks. “What the fuck was that?” Dave finally spoke up.

            “I don’t know,” John replied, ushering his friend to the exit, “But we better go before we fuck anything up for real.”

            Dave nodded. “Yeah, I just hope that didn’t do anything irreversible like zap everyone into cockroaches or-”

            Both boys froze in place suddenly. They slowly locked eyes. “That sounds like…”

            “Yeah, but it couldn’t be…”

            “Dave.”

            “John?”

            “Dave!”

            “John no-”

            “Dave, that’s a baby crying!” John shrieked. The two spun around to the source of the crying, and there was something squirming around on a platform across the room from them. John took a few hesitant steps forward and then flew as fast as he could with Dave chasing after him.

            The baby was red in the face from screaming, her tiny fists swinging erratically at her sides. She had a tuft of blonde hair atop her head and nothing else covering her. Dave undid his cape and swaddled the baby girl, carefully cradling her in his arms while John warned “hold her head!”

            The baby took a few hiccuped breaths and blinked her eyes up at the two teens, and they both took in sharp intakes of air. While the bit of hair she had was blonde like Dave’s, her eyes were the breathtaking bright blue John shared with her.

            John cooed and gently took her from the other’s arms, rocking her gently. The baby sighed happily and stuck her tiny thumb into her mouth, nuzzling against John’s chest. Her eyes fluttered closed again as she relaxed back into sleep.

            The two stared down at her in awe. Dave had even lifted his shades to see her clearly. John glanced over to his friend. “What now?” he whispered as quietly as he could.

            “Hell if I know,” Dave murmured back, “But I know someone who would.”

            Jane was humming to herself as she set the oven timer. She had about an hour to relax before her cookies were done. She was debating on going over to Roxy and Calliope’s place when there was a knock at her door. “Coming!” she called, though she was curious. Dirk and Jake had said they had other plans and wouldn’t be coming over. Had Roxy and Calliope come over to see her first? No one else really visited her that often.

            The door opened and there was her ectobiological brother and the younger Strider. “Hey Crocker, we have a bit of a problem…we need your help,” Dave greeted nervously.

            “Dave? John? What is-?” And then John was shushing her almost frantically. Jane blinked in astonishment, mostly because John was usually twice as loud as her at any given moment.

            Then she noticed the lump cradled in John’s arms and her jaw dropped. “Is that a baby?” She whispered fiercely.

            “I mean, yeah?”

            “As in like, a human child?”

            “As human as the rest of us,” Dave nodded, “I mean, us humans, that is. Not the trolls because they are actually not human. Besides they don’t even have babies, they have wigglers or something.”

            “Wrigglers,” John corrected quietly.

            “Yeah, that.”

            “Where on Skaia did you find a human infant, and how??” Jane asked as she opened the door wider to let the two teens in.

            “Well, uh, we kind of…um…”

            “We made her,” John stated simply.

            “John put his dick in my butt and got me ass pregnant,” Dave lied.

            “No I did not!” John shouted, startling the baby in his arms. She immediately began to fuss, squirming in his arms. Jane held out her arms expectantly and John reluctantly handed her off.

            “What actually happened, boys?” Jane asked as she bounced the baby gently to calm her.

            “We were playing around in the ectobiology lab and we hit a button and I guess it accidentally combined my DNA and Dave’s and then there was a baby crying and we didn’t know what to do so we brought her here,” John explained.

            “Well I hope you boys know that this child is your responsibility, seeing as you are her fathers,” Jane huffed.

            “Don’t say it like that, it sounds so gay!” John complained.

            “That is literally the least of our problems, Egbert, we have a baby to take care of and we literally just turned 18,” Dave pointed out.

            “I’m not even 18 yet! I can’t be a father, especially not with another dude!” John cried, throwing his arms in the air.

            “Stop centering on the homosexual part about it! We didn’t even have sex!” Dave shouted. “Not that it even matters, there is a baby here and no matter how she got here she’s here,” he grumbled.

            “How are you not even freaked out about this?!” John screeched, and Dave stomped up to him, a full foot taller than him.

            “You don’t think I’m freaking out?” He sneered. “I have no basis for parenting, John. The closest I can come to it is how Bro tortured and neglected me for thirteen years. How do I know I’m not going to fuck this baby up just as bad as Bro fucked me up?! I don’t know, John, I don’t know ANYTHING, and being gay is the least of my problems because now I am responsible for a whole new human. If you could get your head out of your fucking ass for TEN GODDAMN SECONDS, you’d see that as well!” Dave shoved past the brunette to the front door, slamming it behind him.

            The baby in Jane’s arms started wailing loudly. “She’s probably hungry,” Jane explained, glancing at the front door worriedly. “You stay with her and I’ll go get Dave and go to the alchemizer to try to alchemize some baby stuff, alright?” Jane handed off the crying baby, grabbing a jacket and going to the door. “You should probably think of a name for her, you know. Anyways, bye! Keep an eye on my cookies!” Jane called as she ran out the door, waving as she went.

            John looked down at the baby, who was starting to go red in the face because she was so upset.

            “Great, what now?”

Chapter Text

            Dave and Jane returned to Jane’s house to the pleasant smell of freshly baked chocolate cookies. John sat cross-legged with the baby in his lap, watching Con Air while the baby mouthed at a cookie.

            “What the hell, Egbert?! Babies can’t eat cookies!” Dave cried, pulling the baby from John’s lap and pulling the cookie from her. Dave glanced at the TV. “And why are you torturing her with Nic Cage’s ugly mug?” he added.

            “Hey! Casey likes Nic Cage!” John huffed, pouting. Dave looked down at the baby girl in his arms and then up at John.

            “No.”

            “What do you mean ‘no’??” John cried, throwing his hands up in the air.

            “You are not naming our daughter after a character in that terrible barfbag of a movie,” Dave stated.

            “I think you don’t have a say in the matter,” John replied simply, taking Casey from Dave’s arms. “Her name is Casey and you can go choke on precisely seven dicks.”

            “Why do you get to name her? She’s not just your daughter!” Dave argued.

            “You stormed out yelling before you could name her so I took it upon myself. Also, you would probably think of a shitty name,” John glared at Dave. Dave was about to reply when Jane stepped between them.

            “Boys, boys! She is both of your daughter and you both should agree on what to name her!” Jane interrupted. “That being said; Dave, you did leave the naming up to John on this one. But John didn’t give her a middle name, did he?” She asked. She gave John a meaningful look.

            “No, actually, I didn’t even think about it,” John mumbled. Casey held out her arms for Dave, which the blonde gladly accepted. “Did you, uh…did you have a particular name picked out?”

            Dave glanced at Casey, who cooed and blew a spit bubble. “I was thinking of the name Arwen…”

            “Casey Arwen? Like, Arwen from Lord of the Rings?” John snorted, then gave the other teen a more genuine smile. “I like it. It suits her.”

            The two boys spent a long time standing very close to each other, staring down at their daughter with love in their eyes and a smile on their faces. Jane almost didn’t want to ruin the moment, but they were having their moment in the middle of her living room and she wanted her house back.

            “Okay, you two. I alchemized a diaper bag with supplies. There are clothes in there, diapers, wipes, socks, a bib, a blanket, baby powder, a few pacifiers and bottles, baby formula, and a stuffed bunny that Dave said was yours. I washed it though because it was….really dirty and gross,” Jane explained.

            “I’ve got a crib and a rocking chair in my sylladex too,” Dave mentioned.

            “And I sent you and Dave some how-to videos on giving a baby formula, changing a diaper, and burping a baby,” Jane added.

            “Thanks, Jane. You really saved us,” John smiled, kissing his ectobiological sister on the cheek. She smiled warmly at him.

            “Any time, John. Now leave my house immediately.”

            John and Dave hurried out before she could get scary. They’ve seen her scary, and it wasn’t fun.

            Dave walked into the room they had chosen as Casey’s with a bottle in hand. John was rocking Casey in the rocking chair as she cooed and held his finger in her tiny fist. “Here,” he said as he handed the bottle over.

            “You checked to make sure it wasn’t too hot, right?” John asked.

            “Yeah, duh,” he replied, watching as John tested it on his own hand for good measure. “Egbert, I just said I tested it,” he grumbled.

            “I know! I just wanted to make sure,” John huffed, popping the bottle into Casey’s mouth. Casey put her hands on the bottle as if she was trying to hold it herself, sucking on her bottle as she stared up at John. “You were so hungry, huh?” John said in a baby voice.

            “Don’t talk to her in a baby voice, you’re gonna give her a lisp,” Dave said as he got back to work trying to set up the crib.

            “My dad spoke to me in a baby voice,” John retorted with a glare.

            “And you had a wittle bit of a wisp, didn’t you?” Dave teased. John pegged him in the head with a pacifier. “Yo! I have to wash that before we give it to Casey, you know!” Dave cried.

            “Shut up and keep failing at putting the crib together,” John sneered back. They exchanged glares before Casey turned her head away from the bottle and distracted John. “Oh? You’re only halfway done, sweetheart, don’t you want more?” John asked her, frowning in concern.

            Casey turned her head the other way when he tried to give her the bottle back, kicking her legs and fussing. Dave cursed, drawing both of their blue eyes to him. “I can’t figure it out. Fuck this crib, just fuck it. Stick the entirety of the crib up my asshole and fuck me with it, Egbert,” Dave groaned, throwing down the crib piece he was holding.

            “Why must you always talk about things up your ass?” John grumbled, standing up and holding out Casey. “Here, get her to drink the rest of her bottle while I handle the crib,” he ordered. The two teens switched places, Dave feeding Casey while John set up the crib.

            Within an hour, John had gotten the crib assembled (though not without his fair share of cursing and one instance of a bumped head). He turned to Dave to gloat and stopped dead in his tracks. Dave and Casey had both fallen asleep in the rocking chair while John was working. The empty bottle was hanging loosely from Dave’s left hand while his right arm cradled Casey against his chest. Both blonde’s had the same serene look on their face.

            John smiled softly at the scene before gently taking Casey from Dave’s hold. Dave’s brow furrowed, almost as if he could feel the absence of his daughter’s presence against him. John tucked Casey in and put her stuffed bunny beside her, and then turned to his best friend.

            “Dave,” he whispered, shaking Dave’s arm lightly. “Dave, wake up,” he said only a bit louder, nudging Dave. Dave startled awake, looking down at his arms where Casey had been and beginning to panic when he found she wasn’t there. “Relax, shitsniffer, she’s in the crib,” John snorted. Dave breathed a sigh of relief, sagging in the rocking chair. “You up for flying home?” he asked, and Dave didn’t answer. John frowned, taking the shades from Dave’s face and earning a halfhearted swat to his hands. Dave was already going back to sleep. “Dave, you’re gonna hurt your back if you sleep like that.”

            “Don’t wanna move,” Dave mumbled.

            “Can I at least move you to the couch?” John sighed.

            “Bed,” Dave retorted, then held out his arms. “Carry me.”

            “No fucking way,” John deadpanned.

            “Carryyyy meeee,” Dave whined, pouting.

            “Don’t be a pissbaby, Dave, get up by yourself,” John hissed.

            “’m your babymama though, y’gotta be nice t’me,” Dave slurred in his half asleep stupor.

            “Fine, I’ll carry you if you never call yourself my babymama,” John groaned with a roll of his eyes.

            “No promises,” Dave retorted, holding out his arms. John picked him up bridal style, carrying him to his own bed.

            “I cannot believe I’m sharing a bed with you after you called yourself my babymama,” John muttered as he set the blonde down gently despite the urge to throw him down.

            “Can always sleep on the couch, babydaddy,” Dave suggested back.

            “Okay no, I will smother you if you say that again,” John glared at the mostly asleep boy.

            “Papa John.”

            “Quit it!”

            “Father Egbert.”

            “I’m going to kill you.”

            “Aye Papi~!”

            “Don’t! You are way too white for that!” John whisper-shouted, hitting Dave in the face with a pillow. Dave hugged it to his chest, rolling over. “Ugh, whatever. Goodnight, Dave,” he sighed, laying down beside him in bed.

            “Buenas noches, Papi.”

            “Strider.”

            “Si?”

            “Go to sleep.”

Chapter Text

            “So run it by me again,” Dirk questioned. John and Dave let out matching groans of frustration, almost drowned out by Casey’s delighted squealing from the other room.

            “We were messing around with the viewports to see each other from earlier in the day, the computer said “target locked”, we fought, Dave hit a button-”

            “You fucking pushed me into it!”

            “-all the lights were flashing and the machines were making weird sounds and then there was a green flash and boom! There she was,” John explained, for probably the third time.

            Dirk was silent for a few moments as he furrowed his brows in thought. From the other room, Jane warned, “Jake! Don’t throw her so high up!”

            “Can you not throw my infant daughter, English? ‘You break it you buy it’ doesn’t really apply in this situation, you know,” Dave called out to Jake.

            “Oh, poppycock, I barely tossed her. Besides, the little tyke likes it!” he called back, and Casey squealed in excitement again.

            “There were only two ports, then?” Dirk asked, and John nodded. “And the blue button, that was what you hit to start everything?”

            “Is there a reason you want to know the exact process of how to make a baby?” Dave countered, narrowing his eyes behind his shades at his older ectobiological brother. At this, Dirk’s cheeks turned a rosy pink hue, though his face remained impassive.

            “There’s no reason; I just like to know how things function. Just in case of emergencies, you know,” he explained. Dave gave him an unimpressed look.

            “Really? You think I’m a moron?” he replied in disbelief, crossing his arms over his chest in irritation. Dirk glanced over his shoulder to the other two residents and muttered something to himself, turning back to Dave and John.

            “Okay, look. Jane didn’t want to tell anyone until it was the right time, but she isn’t exactly single,” he began.

            “We know she’s dating Jake,” Dave responded at the same time John chipped in, “We know she’s dating you.” They looked at each other in confusion.

            “Dude, he’s gay,” Dave pointed out.

            “He doesn’t like labels, remember?” John retorted.

            “Okay, but label or no, he’s a flaming homosexual,” Dave shot back. They looked to Dirk for clarification.

            “Neither of your guesses are true,” Dirk said as if that was clarification. At the looks of confusion on their faces, he groaned and continued. “She’s not dating either of us. We’re dating each other. She is dating Roxy. And Calliope. Both. At the same time.”

            “She’s gay??” John inquired.

            “I don’t know!" Dirk threw his hands in the air in exclamation. "I walked in on her half naked in Roxy and Calliope’s bed. She said it just happened,” Dirk shrugged, seemingly flustered about revealing secrets that weren’t his own to other people. “She said that she’s not exactly gay, she just loves Roxy and Calliope and doesn’t care that she’s not usually into women. You get it?” he asked.

            “No, but continue,” Dave responded. Dirk rolled his eyes.

            “Well, I can’t help you understand someone else’s sexuality. Anyways, since Casey’s arrival…birth…? Roxy and Jane have been talking about kids more lately. Not now, of course, but in the future. The thing is, they don’t want to exclude Calliope. I told them that it’s pretty much impossible for all three of them to combine their DNA into one baby, but I felt bad about turning them down. I mean, who am I to say that it’s truly impossible? Previously, it was impossible to have children without a man and a woman and pregnancy and all that bullshit...” Dirk trailed off. “I guess I’m just trying to see if there’s a way to tweak the machines to get them to do what I want,” Dirk finished.

            “…Is there?” John finally asked.

            “I mean, yeah there could be a way. If I were to modify it to lock on three different codes, maybe? Or maybe I could combine two targets into genetic material and then lock onto that and the third target? But that would require research into the buttons and what they mean. Maybe if I…” Dirk began mumbling to himself, calculating things as both John and Dave lost interest.

            Suddenly, the microwave timer went off. John went to get Casey’s bottle, testing to make sure it wasn’t too hot, and then the three of them moved into the other room.

            Jake had switched from tossing Casey into the air to peek-a-boo at Jane’s request. He laid on the floor, covering his head. Casey would stare at his head, sometimes reaching out and patting him, and then he would quickly lift his head and go “boo!” Casey would giggle and kick her feet in joy, and then the process would begin again.

            “Casey needs her bottle and then to be put down for a nap,” John announced. Jake made a childish noise of complaint.

            “Just a wee bit longer, ol chap!” he pleaded. John shook his head no.

            “Casey gets cranky and fussy when she doesn’t get her bottle and a nap at the right times, and we already are almost an hour behind her normal bottle time,” John explained.

            “Oh come off it, John! She doesn’t need to follow the same schedule every single day, does she??” Jake attempted to dispute. John crossed his arms firmly and shook his head again.

            “The answer is no, English. You can come back another time,” he insisted. Dirk snorted and shook his head, intervening with a gesture to the door.

            “Come on, Jake, you heard Mama Egbert. We’ll come by to have another playdate soon,” he said.

            “Don’t call me ‘Mama Egbert’!” John snapped. Dirk held up his hands in defense and shot Dave a smirk.

            “Alright, we’re going. Tell your housewife not to get his panties in a twist,” he teased. John made a move to throw the bottle at him and he chuckled and was ushered out by Jane, Jake being dragged along reluctantly after them. John rolled his eyes and went to get Casey when Dirk ducked back in.

            “What now?” John groaned.

            “Chill, I just wanted to tell you two not to mention to anyone I said anything about Jane’s dating arrangement to you. The only other people who know are me and Rose,” he explained.

            “Yeah, we’ll keep it on the DL, broski,” Dave agreed. Dirk gave him a fistbump and then left, hopefully for good this time.

            “Thank fucking god they’re gone and I have my house back,” John groaned. He glanced at Dave. “Well, mostly.”

            Dave took the bottle and picked up Casey to feed her, suspiciously avoiding looking up from the task. “I wanted to talk about that,” he finally spoke up.

            “Talk about what?” John asked, confused.

            “Well, my pad is pretty far off, so if I go home I won’t be around in case something happens,” Dave began.

            “Like what, Dave? The game is over. Earth C is safe. I mean, relatively. We still have the murderous fridge clown troll around. And Calliope’s shithead murderface brother,” he explained.

            “I know everything is mostly safe, but every time I’m away from her I just feel so…” he trailed off.

            John paused his cleaning after his guests and turned to look fully at the blonde. “Incomplete?” he finished for the other. Dave looked up, surprised, and John shrugged. “We spend a lot of time with her; she’s our baby and it’s only natural to want to always be by her side, to the point where not being with her feels wrong,” John explained.

            “Are you speaking from personal experience?” Dave inquired. John shrugged.

            “I’m saying that if you want a key to the house, I’ve already made one for you,” he explained.

            “And what about…” Dave stopped for a moment, then began again, “what about possibly letting me move in with you?”

            At this John paused, thinking it over with a small frown. “Ah… I’ll have to think about that one a bit more. It seems a little too… couple-y, you know?”

            Dave nodded, a bit dejected. Casey finished her bottle and snatched it from his hands, throwing it down decisively. He sighed softly and moved to burp her.

            “That’s not a definite ‘no’, though. She is your daughter too, so its not exactly ludicrous that you would want to live in the same house as her,” John added quickly, noting how put out Dave had become. “We would have to move things around some if you did move in. I mean, you can’t sleep in my bed forever.”

            “Why not?” Dave responded as he went to go put Casey down for a nap. “We’re just bros, and you just happen to have a more comfortable bed than a couch,” he shrugged.

            “I guess you’re right. It’s not like we are in love with each other, right?” John reasoned, nodding to himself. Dave paused, staring down into Casey’s crib.

            “……right,” he mumbled to himself.

Chapter Text

            John jolted upright in bed with a startled gasp. He had that nightmare again; the one where he’s holding an injured Dave in his arms and his godtier powers won’t work. He tries desperately to use his wind powers and will himself to fly, but the wind refuses to bend to his will. They are in the middle of nowhere and he needs to get Dave some help but he doesn’t know where to go and can’t fly there regardless. All the while Dave grows more and more weak, his eyes more unfocused, and the dream always ends with Dave going limp in John’s arms.

            John hadn’t had the nightmare in quite some time; not since Casey was born, at least. Before the dream disturbed him, but he could always brush it off and go back to bed. Maybe it was because he saw Dave every day now that the dream made him feel panicked, but he turned in bed to see his friend sleeping beside him. Maybe seeing him okay would calm John enough that he could return to sleep.

            Only, Dave wasn’t there. “Dave?” he called, listening for a moment for the knight’s reply, but he heard nothing. “Dave?!” he called louder, jumping out of bed and hurrying towards the bedroom door. He poked his head out but the bathroom light wasn’t on, so he probably hadn’t gotten up to use the bathroom. Maybe he was in the room with Casey?

            John forced himself not to run to his daughter’s bedroom. Casey had probably woken up crying and Dave had gone to take care of her, he reasoned. But when he stepped into the room, Dave wasn’t there either. And neither was Casey.

            “Dave! Casey!” he called frantically, running into the living room. They weren’t there watching TV, and they weren’t having a nighttime snack in the kitchen, either. John’s panic rose until he could hardly breathe. His eyes began to tear up as the fear made his mind race. Where had his best friend gone?? Where had his baby gone??

            John thought of all the hostiles that could have hurt them. Gamzee and Caliborn, namely, though some of the newer trolls were quite dangerous, not to mention humans and carapaces and, rarely, even consorts. Earth C wasn’t exactly a utopia where nothing bad ever happened, after all. And while he didn’t think that most of the population would actually enter the home of one of the Creators, never mind attack one of them, it wasn’t impossible.

            John whipped around at the sound of the front door opening. “Dave??” he called hopefully. Dave entered the house, eyebrows raised at the sight of John awake and in the living room. He had Casey in one arm, sleeping soundly.

            “Shit, did I wake you? I’m sorry bro, I tried to be quiet but-” Dave started to apologize.

            Something snapped within John. “Where the fuck were you?!” he shouted. Casey jolted and began to fuss.

            “Aw man, dude, I just got her to sleep, what the hell-?” Dave began to complain.

            “I don’t care! Where the fuck did you go at 2 in the fucking morning?!” John shouted. Casey began to cry.

            “I just flew around for a while, what’s your problem??” He demanded, John’s hostility making him defensive. “Casey woke up from a nightmare and I couldn’t get her to sleep again, so I went flying around with her hoping that the night air would make her sleepy. Which, it did, but then you woke her up!” he explained.

            “You could have left a note!” John snarled, baring his teeth. Dave gave him an odd look and then walked past him into Casey’s room. “I woke up and no one else was here! I didn’t know where Casey or you were!” he yelled as he followed the blonde into the baby’s room.

            Dave laid Casey down in her crib. She had stopped crying, but she looked worried, glancing from Dave to the doorway where John was still yelling. “Lower your voice, Egbert,” Dave ordered, tucking Casey in and leaving the room.

            John did lower the volume of his voice, but he still was whispering angrily as he followed Dave back into the bedroom they shared. Dave stayed silent as John continued on furiously. He watched John’s movements carefully, which only made John angrier.

            “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?? I woke up all alone in the house, Dave! Something bad could have happened to you and Casey for all I know!” He whispered fiercely.

            “Is that why you’re so mad? Because you were scared?” Dave finally spoke up, tilting his head curiously. John clenched his teeth.

            “No! I’m mad because I’m mad!” he huffed.

            “Anger is only a reaction to other emotions, Egbert, you know that better than anyone,” Dave sighed.

            “What does that mean??” John snapped, arms crossed defensively.

            “It means that when you get sad or scared, you get angry. You yell and destroy things and avoid what really is bothering you. I know you, John. I’ve known you since we were ten, and you’ve pulled this shit all your life,” Dave explained, rolling his eyes.

            “I do not,” John hissed. “Just because you are emotionally retarded because your bro hit you one too many times in the head, doesn’t mean everyone else is,” he added, not even thinking of how cruel his jab had been until he watched Dave’s lips tighten. John blinked in surprise. “Dave, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said something like that,” he apologized.

            “That’s exactly what I was talking about, though. You don’t want to talk about what’s got you so angry, so you lash out at me and act like a fucking prick,” Dave retorted, hands on his hips. John shifted his gaze to his bare feet. “What happened, John?” Dave asked again, his voice more gentle.

            “I woke up all alone,” John repeated softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed and avoiding Dave’s gaze. Dave remained silent, knowing there was something more to it than that. “I had a nightmare…” he admitted, so quietly that sound almost didn’t leave his moving lips.

            Dave sat beside him, and the warmth of his body against John’s side reminded him of the Dave in his dream, cold and frail with dull eyes that couldn’t focus on his. Hesitantly, he relayed the nightmare to the blonde, avoiding looking at him in embarrassment. Dave wrapped an arm around him and pulled his head forward to rest against his chest. John sighed in annoyance and went to move, but froze in place when he heard the rhythmic beat of Dave’s heart.

            Dave wrapped his arms loosely around the brunette, content to sit there and just be alive for as long as John needed him. He didn’t expect John’s frame to begin trembling, nor did he foresee the quiet sobs or the damp spot on his clothes. “It’s okay, John. I’m right here,” he murmured softly, hand coming to rest on John’s head.

            “I had that nightmare all the time before Casey, so I don’t know why I’m so freaked out now,” John sniffled, finally wiggling out of Dave’s arms to scrub at the wet tracks on his face in irritation. Dave tsk’d and knocked John’s hands aside, using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe more gently at the tears on the other’s face.

            John couldn’t stop staring at Dave’s eyes; the bright ruby irises focused on drying his face. Dave caught his eyes and froze, hand still against John’s face. They stared at each other for a moment too long before Dave cleared his throat.

            “Yeah, so, we should get to sleep,” he mentioned, cheeks flushed in embarrassment. John nodded quickly, his own face red and flustered as well. They laid down with their backs to each other, and only after John was sure Dave was asleep again did he roll over to stare at the back of Dave’s head, perplexed.

            Something had happened when their eyes had met, a surge of energy that shocked its way through John and settled very peculiarly right in his heart. He didn’t really know what it meant, but he knew that it belonged there. Maybe it had been there all along, lying dormant until Dave’s eyes activated it?

            John didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to ponder it either, because Casey was crying from the other room again. He focused on getting his daughter to sleep, putting all thoughts of Dave and him aside.

            For now, at least.

Chapter Text

            Jane had the decency to warn them that she was visiting with Roxy and Calliope, though she only gave them an hour. “You’d best be ready to leave the house when we get there, buster!” she advised sternly before hanging up on John. John sighed, pulling himself sluggishly out of bed. Dave was still asleep, so he grabbed the blankets and snatched them away.

            “Nnnnnoooooo!” Dave whined, barely conscious. He made grabby hands in the direction his blankets had gone.

            “Yyyyeeeeeessss,” John whined back mockingly, dropping the blankets where Dave couldn’t reach them. “Jane, Roxy, and Calliope are coming over for some reason. They’ll be here in an hour, and I’ve been told we need to be ready to leave the house before they arrive,” he explained as he bustled around the room getting ready.

            Dave made a dismissive sound and hugged his pillow, already going back to sleep. John rolled his eyes and went to the bathroom to begin his morning routine. On the way back to his bedroom, he made a short detour to the kitchen. Dave was, predictably, still not up when he returned. He wasn’t wearing a nightshirt, but his pajama bottoms would serve John’s purpose. He tugged on the top of Dave’s pajama pants and threw about three ice cubes down the blonde’s pants.

            Dave squealed at the sudden cold, jumping up. John cackled gleefully, not even minding when Dave shoved at him in retaliation. Then Dave dropped his pants and John quickly turned around, not expecting an ice cube to hit him in the back of the head. “Hey!” he cried, “That’s gross, those were in your pants!” Dave scoffed.

            “You’re just jealous it wasn’t you,” he shot back as he used his godtier powers to instantly dress himself, a pair of camo cargo shorts and a loose red tank top, with his favorite red converse as always. The only thing he manually put on were his signature shades, sliding them easily onto his face.

            “You’re so lazy,” John jeered, rolling his eyes and going to get Casey ready as well. “Also! You totally copied what I’m wearing!” he called accusingly as an afterthought, as he had chose to wear his own camo shorts, except paired with his superman logo t-shirt and his ratty sneakers.

            “Aw, don’t be like that; we’ll be like those obnoxious couples that match all their outfits when they go out,” Dave replied simply. “In fact, let’s get some camo on Casey, too,” he suggested.

            “We aren’t a couple, dunkass, and Casey only has a camo hat,” John retorted. Dave shrugged, watching John set out Casey’s outfit, a little yellow sundress with light blue polka dots on the lower part and matching blue shoes. Despite his complaints about matching, he did add in her camo hat, as well. “Would you go pack up the diaper bag while I’m dressing Casey? I don’t know where we are going or for how long, so just pack for a full day, okay?” John delegated. Dave gave him a lazy salute and did as he was told.

            They had just finished setting up the baby stroller, even though Casey usually sat in the baby carrier strapped to Dave’s front anyways, when the girls arrived. Roxy squealed in delight, coming up to see Casey. “Hi, sweetie! I’m your Auntie Roxy!” she greeted excitedly. Casey shyly hid her face in John’s neck.

            “Wouldn’t you be, like, ‘Grandma Roxy’?” Dave commented, yelping when he was pinched for said comment. “I was joking, ow, jesus fuck…” he mumbled in complaint.

            “Callie, come here! You’ve never seen a human baby before, right?” Roxy called excitedly, waving Calliope over. Calliope stepped forward hesitantly.

            “Oh, um, I would love to meet her, but I don’t want to… scare her…” Calliope explained, gesturing to her face as example. But before anyone could reply, Casey made a demanding noise and held out her arms towards the cherub.

            John laughed. “I don’t think you have to worry about that, Callie,” he chuckled as he handed the baby over to a startled Calliope.

            “Oh! Hello, then!” Calliope greeted with a laugh, and Casey papped her skeletal face with a bit of happy baby babble. “Yes, I agree,” she nodded sincerely, even though she hadn’t a clue what the infant had said. Casey giggled happily.

            “So where are we going on this outside excursion, anyways? Anywhere in particular?” John commented idly as he gathered up their things.

            “We’re going to the zoo!” Roxy answered excitedly.

            “We got wind of a joint effort towards reintroducing old wildlife into Earth C, and while they are increasing their numbers, they need to be monitored. It was only natural to open viewing them to the public, hence the zoo,” Jane explained. “The location we are visiting only has 25% of Earth creatures, but there are three other locations for the rest of them, along with two locations for Alternian wildlife,” she added.

            “Alternia had much less wildlife, but what they do have are… quite monstrous,” Calliope mentioned, handing Casey off to Dave so he could strap her into the baby carrier strapped to his chest. Dave scoffed.

            “And the trolls themselves aren’t?” he quipped.

            “That’s xenophobic,” John huffed, shooting Dave a disapproving look.

            “Dave is problematic,” Roxy pseudo-whispered, “Nobody tell him.”

            “We should probably hit the road now!” Jane announced, gesturing to the door. Roxy let Calliope climb onto her back, grinning.

            “One piggyback for the cutest cherub in all of paradox space!” Roxy announced. She gestured for John and Dave to leave before her, surreptitiously snatching Casey’s camo hat as Dave passed her.

            Roxy slyly tossed it behind her, further into the house, and whispered to Calliope, “Like hell was I gonna let Casey go out wearing that with the rest of her outfit. Men have no sense of fashion, ugh.” Calliope stifled a laugh.

            “I should have known it was those goobers who kickstarted this zoo thing,” Dave snorted, gesturing to the billboard giving credit for the DNA of most of the animals to Jake and Jade, Jade giving her ecto-relative a noogie in the image the billboard used.

            “I know they were into hunting and taxidermy, but how did they get the other animals’ DNA?” John asked, cocking his head to one side in confusion. Calliope and Jane giggled, whispering to each other. “What?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing.

            “Roxy used her Void powers for the DNA of pretty much every animal, in all the zoos, but she asked to remain anonymous,” Jane grinned, gesturing to their blonde and pink haired girlfriend. Roxy gave her an exasperated look.

            “And look how well that turned out, right Janey?” she answered sarcastically. Jane returned a sheepish smile, shrugging.

            Suddenly Casey let out a shout, pointing urgently at a dog one of the zoo workers was leading around as a sort of teaser for what was inside. After all, even the domestic animals went extinct when the Earth was destroyed, so pets like dogs and cats needed to be repopulated as well. John grinned, leaning down to see her better and pointing at the dog as well. “That’s a dog, Casey! Isn’t it so nice and fluffy?” he told her excitedly. She made another insistent noise, pointing at the dog and then reaching above her head to hit Dave in the face.

            “I think she wants to pet the dog, Egbert,” Dave snickered, trying to avoid her little hand flapping around trying to hit him. There was, of course, a fee for petting the dog, but Dave was willing to dole out an extra $50 to let his daughter pet one of the only dogs in the goddamn world. Plus, the dog’s handler recognized them as the Creators and gave them a $20 discount, so he only had to pay $30 as long as the worker got a selfie with them and bragging rights after they enjoyed their time at the zoo. After all, it’s not really that fun being stared at and swarmed by star-struck mortals while you’re trying to enjoy yourselves somewhere…

            Speaking of star-struck, Casey pet the dog with wide, mystified blue eyes, absolutely dazzled by seeing her very first dog. Or her first animal in general, really. “She’s seen them in movies, but I guess its different being able to touch them!” John laughed, noting that she was still reeling from the interaction, mouth agape as she stared at her baby hand.

            “Wait until she sees all the other animals!” Jane shot back happily, leading them to the ticket booth. The girls insisted that they would pay for John, Dave, and Casey’s tickets, leaving no room for arguing. John and Dave just shrugged at each other and let it happen, because they didn’t actually have any other choice.

            Jane snatched up a map and the girls began planning out where they wanted to go, pointing at certain places and noting where they could take breaks to feed or change Casey’s diapers. “I guess we are just at the girls’ mercy, right Dave?” John grinned, elbowing Dave playfully. Calliope blinked up at them, confused.

            “Oh no, you don’t have to come with us!” She explained. “After all, this is also meant to be a break for you!”

            “What? A break?” John sat up straight, looking at his ectobiological relative for an explanation. “Jane, what is she talking about?”

            “Lalonde, you better explain your meddlesome lesbian plans right now,” Dave warned, hands on his hips. Jane laughed a bit uneasily and Roxy shrugged, while Calliope looked between the two of her girlfriends with wide, bewildered eyes.

            “We just thought you two needed a short vacation from parenting,” Roxy began, taking Casey from the carrier on Dave’s chest.

            “After all, you were thrust into your roles with no warning, and we don’t really think you’ve had any opportunities to relax!” Jane interjected as she helped Calliope set up the stroller.

            “It’s not that long of a time apart; just a few hours-” Roxy added as she eased the diaper bag off John’s shoulder, before Dave interrupted.

            “A few hours??” He repeated with distress clear in his voice.

            “We assure you, Casey will be safe with us. We will return her to you without so much as a scratch on her!” Jane reassured, patting Dave’s face lightly.

            “Well what are we supposed to do then?” John asked, already wringing his hands as he watched Roxy strap Casey into her stroller.

            “Just relax! Hang out!” Roxy called dismissively. “You two deserve some alone time together!” She added as they began to quickly leave.

            “Alone time??”

Chapter Text

            “Just relax! Hang out!” Roxy called dismissively. “You two deserve some alone time together!” She added as they began to quickly leave.

            “Alone time??” John cried out, but the three girls and his daughter were already rounding a corner and disappearing from his sight. He sighed in defeat, visibly deflating as if he were a balloon. He glanced over at Dave, arms crossed over his chest and avoiding looking back at him. John kicked a random rock, pouting and surveying the surrounding food carts in disinterest.

            Suddenly, he perked up, the movement so sudden it startled the blonde beside him. He grabbed Dave’s hand excitedly. “Are you hungry? Of course you’re hungry, food is super important, right? And we haven’t eaten yet so we need food because food is good; I’m paying!” John rambled on quickly, talking so fast Dave barely had enough time to process what he was saying, let alone actually respond to him, before he was being led off by the hand.

            Dave couldn’t understand why the brunette was so damn excited until John stopped right in front of a food stall with a huge smiling apple as their logo. “You like apples? We’ve got apples! Eve’s Apples; if it’s got apples in it, we sell it!” the sign in front of the stall boasted. Dave attempted to keep his face impassive, but with John beaming at him so proudly, he couldn’t help the upwards quirk of his lips.

            “Damn, John, you really know how to woo a gal,” Dave whistled appreciatively. John’s cheeks flushed and he shoved lightly at the blonde. Dave smirked and continued, “You sure you want to buy? I can eat a lot, dude. Especially if there are apples in it.”

            “I’ll buy you so much apple foods that you’ll be all apple’d out by the time you’re done!” John challenged. Never one to back down from a challenge, Dave stepped forward and ordered pretty much most of the menu. The troll taking his order looked downright terrified. Who is this apple fiend?? Can he be stopped??

            A caramel apple, a slice of apple pie, a cup of applesauce, an apple muffin, a bottle of apple cider, a bottle of apple juice, and an abomination called an ‘apple milkshake’ later, John was staring at Dave in disbelief while the Strider stretched with a groan.

            “You frighten me sometimes, Strider. How the fuck did you pack all that food away and not get sick??” John inquired, eyeing the blonde’s thin frame critically.

            “Are you calling me fat, Egbert? I’m offended,” Dave replied, not sounding offended in the slightest. “Alright, I’ll give it to ya; I am sincerely ‘all apple’d out’, dude,” he added with a shrug.

            “Yes! I told you. How do you like them apples??” John cackled smugly. Dave gave him the most deadpan look he could manage, even lowering his shades for maximum effect. “Aww, come on! That was hilarious!” he whined, throwing up his hands. Dave let out a derisive snort as he tossed his trash in a nearby trashcan.

            There was really not much either of them wanted to do. They never outright said it, but this zoo was nothing like Earth’s zoos and it made them ache for a home destroyed long ago. So they sat down on a small bench and relaxed while they people-watched. Dave spread out on said bench like he always did. What had Rose called it? Manspreading?

            John felt Dave’s arm stretch out behind his head, resting on the top of the bench casually, and he stiffened slightly. “Oh, sorry,” Dave murmured, moving to retract his arm.

            “No!” John blurted out, surprising them both. “N-no, it’s okay, I don’t mind,” he elaborated, cheeks flushing. Dave made a quiet noise in acknowledgment, staying where he was. Truthfully, John didn’t mind, but the relaxed feeling he felt with Dave’s arm against his back was… well, he did mind that.

            They sat quietly for a while, occasionally murmuring about a passerby but falling silent again rather quickly. It was comfortable, the two young men enjoying each other’s company. Then Dave shifted himself once, then again, and then retracted his arm, sitting up and crossing his arms over his chest. His leg began to bounce up and down in agitation.

            “Dave? What’s wrong?” John asked, sitting up as well. They had been relaxing up until this point, and nothing seemed to take place to make Dave so antsy…

            “I dunno, nothing I guess,” Dave replied distractedly, an anxious edge to his tone. John frowned, glancing around their surroundings. He carefully bent the Wind, hoping it might carry noises from far away to him.

            And it did. A gust of Wind blew past his face, carrying the panicked sounds of someone familiar. “Casey?!” the voice of Roxy called, though the sound was faint. “Casey, where are you?!” Even fainter were the voices of Calliope and Jane, presumably calling out for Casey as well.

            John shot to his feet instantly, and Dave did not hesitate to follow. “Casey’s missing!” John called, already floating off the ground to fly towards the sound of his friends’ voices. Before he could take off, the brunette’s shirt was grabbed and he was tugged back down to the ground. “Dave, what the fuck are you doing?!” John cried.

            “I’m just as freaked as you, but if we fly around the zoo we are going to freak people out,” Dave explained quietly, glancing around to see if anyone had seen John’s feet leave the ground. “We just have to run.”

            Impatient, John grabbed the blonde by the hand and ran in the general direction of where the Wind had come from, subtly using said Wind to propel them faster in a way he was sure Dave could feel. Idly, he wondered if it would just be faster for Dave to flashstep, but they stumbled upon the girls before he could say anything about it.

            “John! Dave!” Roxy called, jogging to meet them halfway. “We can’t-”

            “-find Casey, I know. Where was the last place you saw her?” John demanded.

            “Right here! She was in her stroller one moment, we turned around to look at… oh, I don’t even know what we were looking at! But when we turned back she was gone!” Jane explained, tears already rolling down her cheeks. “Oh John, I-I’m so sorry, you must be furious with me!” she sniffled. John put a hand on her shoulder.

            “I’m not mad at you, Jane, but I really really don’t have time to console you. We need to find her quickly,” John replied, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly before turning to Dave. Dave was scanning their surroundings, trying to see a mop of blonde hair or piercing blue eyes or even the pale yellow of her dress.

            “Can you use the same Windy Thing trick you used to hear the girls and find Casey?” Dave asked. John bit his lip.

            “I can try,” he mumbled, closing his eyes to concentrate. The Wind started out gently blowing sounds to him, but nothing relevant. He furrowed his brows and tried harder, the Wind picking up and whipping their clothes about. He could hear the sounds of children, but none of them were his child. He grit his teeth and the Wind grew stronger, and then-

            Dave grabbed his hand gently, breaking John’s concentration. The Wind died down almost instantly, and the trolls and humans in the area looked around bewildered at the harsh breeze that had stopped as suddenly as it began. “If you kept that up, you might have summoned a tornado,” Dave smiled in what he hoped looked like reassurance, but the smile was too tight and his hand trembled in John’s just enough to clue him in to the red eyed man’s apprehension.

            “The Wind can’t bring me her sounds if she’s not making any sound,” John explained miserably, shoulders slumping.

            “Maybe we can split up to cover more ground? We’re sure to find her that way!” Calliope suggested, wringing her hands nervously.

            “No need for that,” an extra voice piped up. They turned to see another Dave, wearing the same thing current Dave was wearing. He glanced down at their intertwined hands and raised an eyebrow, and they pulled apart quickly, cheeks burning in embarrassment.

            “Took you long enough, douchebag,” Dave hissed.

            “I had to take care of something before I went back,” the Dave from the near future snapped back. He opened his mouth to say more, but then glanced at John and decided against, his own cheeks turning pink. This time it was present Dave’s turn to raise an eyebrow, but the future Dave waved him off.

            “Where is she? Did you find her??” John inquired. “Or, did we find her? Do we find her? Will we find her?” he frowned and grumbled to himself, “I literally hate time shenanigans so fucking much…”

            “She’s napping in the Capybara enclosure,” future Dave answered. He fist bumped Dave and summoned his time tables, and in a flash of red he had disappeared as quickly as he appeared.

            John and Dave took off running for the Capybara enclosure. A jadeblood troll was already there, peering into the area with a smile. When he saw them running towards him, he smiled wider. “Is that your wriggler?” he asked, pointing into the area. Sure enough, the Capybara laid there casually dozing off, and sleeping against him was Casey.

            “How did she get in?” Dave inquired, and while the jadeblood focused on him John flew over the cage to retrieve the little blonde.

            “Oh, well, I let her in. The big hamster-” the jadeblood checked the sign, “-Capybara, is completely harmless. He is shaped like a moirail,” he explained. John landed back on their side, holding Casey still asleep in his arms.

            “Just be glad she’s okay, or I would have ended you,” John growled darkly. The troll looked from the brunette to the locked gate, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

            “Quick question, what the fuck?” the troll asked, bewildered. No one answered him, Dave crowding into John’s space to check on Casey. She turned in John’s arm, nuzzling against Dave’s chest and sighing softly in her sleep. Dave echoed her sigh in relief, his breath ruffling John’s hair with his proximity. John lifted his head, a bit startled at the sensation, and their noses bumped slightly.

            “Oh…” John murmured quietly, taking in just how close his face was to the Strider’s. Dave’s red eyes were wide, and his face was quickly becoming flushed red, all the way to the tips of his ears.

            “Uh, Dave?” Roxy spoke up, and Dave stepped back quickly, wide eyes turning to the three girls they had forgotten were watching them. “Dave, you gotta go back and tell past us where Casey is,” she reminded him. Dave gave a stunned nod.

            “Yeah, I- yeah, you’re right, I should go,” he agreed. He opened his mouth to say something more to John, then decided against it with a shake of his head and summoned his time tables, disappearing in a flash of red.

            “Am I on drugs?” the jadeblood spoke up with panic in his tone, staring at the spot Dave had just been in. Calliope and Jane went to talk him down while Roxy and John got Casey back in her stroller.

            “It’s my fault we lost Casey,” Roxy admitted quietly. “We were talking about if… well, when we have a kid of our own. I got us all distracted talking about our own future baby that I almost… your baby could have…” Roxy’s voice wavered. John smiled reassuringly at her, placing a firm hand on her trembling one.

            “You Strilondes are so emotional,” he chuckled. “She’s okay, and that’s all that matters. What happened, happened, and everything turned out alright. So you don’t have to worry about me being upset with you or Jane or Calliope, okay?” John reiterated gently.

            “But what about Dave? We told him to trust us with Casey, and then we lost her. What if he doesn’t trust us anymore? What if he doesn’t trust me? What if he hates me??” She conjured up scenarios anxiously.

            “Aw, Rox, you know I could never hate you,” Dave interjected, kneeling on Roxy’s other side. “You’re like the big sis I never had, you know that; I love you too much to let something like this come between us,” he grinned, draping an arm across her shoulder.

            “Promise you’re not mad?” Roxy whispered, biting her lip.

            “I swear on Snoop Dogg’s metaphorical grave,” Dave confirmed, placing a kiss to the Lalonde’s forehead.

            “Well! Now that we have averted a troll’s mental breakdown, I think we’ve had enough of an adventure to last us a while, right? Let’s go home,” Jane announced as she and Calliope approached. They all voiced their agreements, gathering up their things and finding their way to the zoo’s exit.

            John let Dave push the stroller, lingering behind the group with Jane. “I’m not upset with you, Jane. You know that, right?” John mentioned. Jane let out a derisive snort.

            “You don’t have to lie, John, I know you’re furious,” she muttered bitterly.

            “No, I’m really not. I think of you as my older sister, just as much as Dave sees Roxy as his. And you helped us sort things out when Casey was first born! I know you would never do anything to hurt her. All that matters to me is that she’s safe,” John explained. He nudged her lightly with a smile. “Besides, you know I could never be mad at my wonderful, beautiful Big Sissy,” he teased.

            “Aw, stop it you big sweetalkin’ goofball!” Jane laughed, shoving him back. “I’m cooking dinner tonight, who’s coming?” She called to the rest of the group.

            “Better question: who isn’t coming?” Dave answered back immediately.

            “Dave has a point; when do we not come to dinner when you’re cooking?” Roxy added, shooting a grin back at the pair of brunettes.

            “I can’t believe Dave is hungry after all the food I bought him earlier!” John jeered playfully.

            “Yo fuck off, I’m a growing boy!” Dave shot back, reaching behind his back to give John the middle finger.

            “Dave, sweetie, you’re done growing by now,” Jane corrected him.

            “It’s not called growing anymore, it’s called being a pig,” John added.

            “Do you hear how he verbally abuses me? What a way to treat his baby mama!” Dave huffed, smirking slightly when everyone laughed except John.

            “Daaaaave, you said you wouldn’t say that shit anymore!” John whined.

            “I made no promises, Papi~!” Dave sang back. John’s loud frustrated groan mixed with his friends’ laughter as they left the zoo, heading towards Jane’s house.

Chapter Text

            John stretched out his hand to reach his phone, where a Snapchat notification from Dave sat waiting for him. He opened it and found a picture of Dave pretending to eat a stone relic they've excavated. Behind him is a blurred Karkat, seemingly screaming in an attempt to stop Dave. The caption says "karkat is an idiot and thinks i vore ancient rocks".

            John snorted quietly to himself and sent a picture of Casey sitting on the couch and holding her stuffed bunny. He captioned it "trying to get casey to say 'papa'! no luck yet" and sent it to the other man before dropping his phone. "Casey, say 'Papa'!" he urged. Casey looked at him curiously. "Can you say 'Papa'?" he asked, feeling only a little bit stupid for talking so oddly. He pointed to himself and said it slowly, "Pa. Pa. Now you try! Pa. Pa." Casey blew a raspberry at him instead and spoke gibberish as she offered him her stuffed bunny. "No thanks," he sighed as he handed it back to her.

            Another Snapchat notification sounded; Dave, once again. He opened it and found a picture of Dave with his arm slung around Karkat, standing in front of a very familiar house.... the caption read "unlock the door fuckface", and John rolled his eyes and laughed as he went to unlock the door for his two friends.

            "Finally!" Karkat shouted, weaving past John. "We've been standing outside for the past fucking human decade now!" he added, throwing up his arms. John leveled Dave with an unamused face.

            "You forgot your key again, didn't you?" he guessed. Dave only shot him a sheepish grin in reply as he nudged past the brunette, immediately making a beeline for Casey. He picked her up and swung her around, listening to her squeal of delight before he settled down.

            "Daddy's home, Case-adilla! Were you good for Papa while I was gone?" Dave asked the little blonde. She babbled back in baby talk, papping his face meaningfully. "Is that so?" he replied in a serious voice, nodding his head as if he understood.

            "Did you just call our daughter 'quesadilla'?" John inquired incredulously, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

            "Are you genuinely trying to get your wriggler to call you 'Papa John'?" Karkat added before Dave could reply.

            "It was Dave's idea! How do you know what Papa John even is, anyways?" John said.

            "Dave told me all about your Earth 'pizza'," Karkat stated, shrugging. He pronounced the word phonetically, and John barely resisted the urge to laugh at him. "So your kid is gonna call the two of you 'Daddy Dave' and 'Papa John'? Man, I feel sorry for the little shitsniffer," he commented idly.

            "Fuck you, dude. Anyways, Karkat, this is Casey," Dave introduced. "Casey, this is Karkat," he added, gesturing with the arm not holding her towards Karkat. Casey pointed too.

            "Cat!" she announced. Everyone went silent, staring at her. "Cat!!" she repeated, more urgently as she pointed at him, then made grabby hands.

            "Holy shit, bro. That's her first fuckin' word and its for you," Dave chuckled as he handed the infant off at her insistence. The troll man protested even as he took the baby, holding her awkwardly as she smiled at him and began petting his hair.

            "Does she know I'm actually a troll and not a fucking meowbeast? Genuine question here," Karkat asked her two fathers. Dave snickered, but suddenly noticed John wasn't laughing either. In fact, he hadn't said anything. He had thought the blue eyed man would have started gushing about the baby's first word even more than he did, but he had stayed silent. "John?" he asked, turning to face John fully.

            John had his arms crossed tightly over his chest, looking down at his feet and not even attempting to hide his distress. Dave and Karkat exchanged quick concerned glances, and even if Karkat couldn't fully see Dave's through his shades, the concern still got across to him. "John, is everything okay?" Karkat asked, softer than his usual loud tone of voice, and successfully gained the heir's attention.

            "Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, I'm fine! No big deal! Are you staying for dinner? Let me go get it started!" John rushed out before practically bolting for the kitchen. Dave frowned after him before patting Karkat's arm.

            "Can you watch Casey while I go see what's wrong with him? Just let her watch some TV or something, okay? I'll be right back," Dave stated before following the distracted heir into the kitchen. Karkat and Casey exchanged looks of their own.

            "Do you understand what just happened?" Karkat asked her. She babbled back to him in baby talk. "Yeah, didn't think so," he agreed.

            John was bustling around the kitchen when Dave entered, not even acknowledging the knight as he stood there waiting for him to speak. Dave watched him impassively for a while, wondering if John would bring it up first, but finally realized he had no choice but to say something himself.

            "What was that out there?" he inquired.

            "What was what?" John dodged the question as he began preparing food for dinner.

            "Don't fuck around with me, Egbert, I know you. You'd think you'd know better than to play dumb with your best fucking friend. I know when something is bothering you. What's wrong?" Dave prompted.

            "Nothing is wrong, Dave! Fuck off!" John snapped.

            "I'm just trying to talk about what's bothering you! Let's talk about our feelings and shit," Dave huffed, crossing his arms sternly. John laughed coldly at him, the sound void of any actual humor.

            "Oh, you want to talk about feelings?" he sneered, and Dave said nothing in return, just gave him an impassive stare. John didn't even have to look at him to see it, just the weight of his silence was enough to make the blue eyed man pause what he was doing. "Sorry..." he mumbled, barely loud enough for Dave to hear him.

            "You're getting angry and avoiding what is really bothering you again. I know you, John," Dave stated.

            "I know. I'm sorry," John repeated with a sigh, turning around to face Dave.

            "Tell me what is wrong," the red eyed knight ordered.

            "It's stupid, Dave, I don't want to-" John began to protest.

            "Tell me," Dave repeated. John hesitantly glanced up into Dave's shades. Dave took the unspoken hint and lifted his shades to the top of his head, revealing red eyes filled with genuine worry. John let out a sigh, almost as if he was relieved to see the concern showed was real.

            "I was trying to get Casey to say 'Papa' practically all day today, Dave! I would have been okay if she had said 'Daddy' instead, really, but instead she just says 'cat'. To Karkat, who she literally just met! I've been trying to get her to talk for a month! And her first word was 'cat'," John explained, frustration clear in his voice as he gestured dramatically with his hands.

            Dave nodded thoughtfully, coming up to sling an arm over the brunette's shoulder. "At least it wasn't as bad as mine. My first word was 'dildo'," Dave responded. John burst out in laughter, shaking his head in disbelief. "Nah, bro, I am 100% not lying here, my first word was actually 'dildo'," he confirmed, lips quirking upward at the snorting laughter of the other man. "What was your first word then, Egbert?" he inquired challengingly.

            The heir leaned into the blonde easily with a fond smile on his face, recalling the detail from his early childhood. "It was cake, of course! With how much my dad baked them, it's not surprising," he chuckled. Dave's smile softened, obviously pleased to feel the man against him was relaxed instead of the tense figure he was when Dave first put his arm around him.

            "See? Not 'Dad' or 'Daddy', but 'cake'. And I bet your dad had been trying to teach you for months. But I'm sure he was just as proud of your first word being 'cake' as he would have been if it was anything else," Dave explained. John nodded, then grinned slyly up at the knight.

            "Except if it was 'dildo'," he amended. Dave snickered and nodded.

            " Except if it was 'dildo', I'm sure," he agreed. John glanced back at the entrance to the kitchen, then back to the blonde knight.

            "You should go back out with Karkat and Casey while I get dinner ready," he urged. Dave shook his head until his shades fell off his head and onto his face, though they were a bit crooked.

            "Nah, bro, you go chill with them. I'll cook up some food for once," Dave responded easily, bumping his hip into John's side and making the smaller heir stumble out of the way. "Go see if Karkles is voring our kid or something," he added as he waved John away. John rolled his eyes but obliged with the request.

            Karkat was not, in fact 'voring' their kid. In fact, he sat in front of Casey with her stuffed bunny and a few other stuffed animals. Casey watched him with fascinated wide blue eyes, clearly enraptured in his story.

            Karkat picked up the stuffed bunny and put on a high pitched voice and he wiggled the bunny slightly to indicate it was the bunny who was 'speaking'. "Excuse me, Mister Dragon, do you know where the secret treasure is? I'd really like to know!" 'the bunny' asked.

            Karkat narrated, "And the dragon stood up as tall as he could in front of the little bunny," as he picked up a stuffed dragon, adding, "The dragon took a deep breath, and said-" Karkat himself took a deep breath before loudly shouting, "RAAARRRRGGG!!!!" as he frantically shook the dragon. Casey squealed in delight as he pulled aside the dragon to add matter-of-factly, "Because, you know. Dragons can't talk."

            John couldn't help but laugh as well, gaining their attention. "What kind of a story is that?" he snorted, coming to sit beside the troll. He shrugged, absently looking down at the stuffed dragon in his hands.

            "I don't fucking know, you just plopped your wriggler in my lap and I thought a story would keep her from screaming and shitting everywhere, or something. And I thought a story where only half the animals could talk would be stupid enough to gain a human wriggler's attention," he frowned, gesturing at Casey as she eagerly waited for him to continue his story. "It worked, didn't it?" he added.

            "Yeah, I guess it did. Uh, listen, sorry for freaking out on you two back there," John mumbled, scratching his cheek awkwardly as he avoided looking at Karkat.

            "Cat!" Casey shouted meaningfully, urging him to keep telling his story. Both men ignored her.

            "I mean, I figured it was some dumbass reaction to her saying "cat" as her first word instead of something like 'Papa' or 'Daddy', right?" Karkat inquired.

            "Cat!" Casey shouted louder, glaring at them for not paying attention to her.

            "Yeah, it was kinda silly, I know. She'll say all that other stuff when she does, and there's no use getting upset about what she decides to say first," he sighed. Casey hit Karkat with her stuffed bunny before he could reply. "Casey! It's not nice to hit others!" John scolded, crossing his arms over his chest sternly.

            "Cat!" Casey retorted back, clearly irritated with them. She proceeded to chew them out in grumpy baby gibberish before crawling off to play with one of her other toys, pointedly turning her back on them.

            Right after, Dave burst into the room. "Who wants pizza?!" he announced, sounding frazzled.

            "What happened to you making dinner?" John asked, tilting his head curiously. Dave glanced back into the kitchen.

            "Uh..... fire. Fire happened," he admitted.

            "What?!" John shrieked, jumping to his feet and rushing into the kitchen.

            "There's not, like, an open flame, Egbert!" Dave protested. "At least, not anymore," he mumbled to himself as an afterthought.

            "Holy shit, Dave, what did you do to the food??" John cried out, poking the charred remains of what Dave attempted to cook with a wooden spoon.

            "Look, I never said I was fucking Gordon Ramsey, alright?! I'm an okay cook sometimes, and this was not one of those times!" Dave snapped. The two bickered in the kitchen as Casey and Karkat listened before exchanging looks.

            "So are you gonna order the pizza or should I?" Karkat asked the little blonde.

            "Cat," she replied simply.

            "Yeah, that's a fair point," Karkat agreed. She offered him a toy cellphone. "No thanks, I have my own," he declined as he held up his real cellphone. Casey shrugged and went about her business.

Chapter Text

            "It's just for a little while, Egbert!" Dave repeated for what felt like the fiftieth time, tossing another item of clothing into his suitcase.

            "But why do you have to go at all?" John protested.

            "Maybe I just want to spend some time in my own house. Is that so crazy? This has been the world's longest sleepover in the history of all three Earths, dude. If I had moved in, it would be different. All my stuff would be here, including my bed. I haven't slept in a bed by myself for what feelings like a hundred years," Dave rambled. "Plus I always wake up tangled up with you," he snorted.

            John felt his cheeks heat up. "That's- that's not my fault! You're the one who clings to me like a fucking stuffed animal! Are all Striders cuddlers, or just you?" he jeered.

            Dave made a motion with his head to indicate he had rolled his eyes. "I'm not saying I mind, because I really don't. Who cares about getting my cuddle on with my best bro? Except you, apparently. If you wake up before me, you act like a flustered little schoolgirl," Dave retorted.

            "I do not!" John argued.

            "Do too."

            "Do not!"

            "Do too."

            "Do not!!"

            "Hey, guess what?" Dave suddenly interrupted the repetition, "I'm not having this little kindergarten pissbaby fight with you any longer." He grabbed his suitcase and went to the door, stopping only to stoop down to where Casey was playing in the living room and kiss her forehead goodbye. John followed him out the door.

            "Fine, I don't even care. I'm glad to have my house back! If it weren't for Casey, I would tell you to not even come back!" John snapped.

            "You're being an asshole again," Dave huffed, beginning to levitate. "Is this how you're going to let us part ways? In the middle of a fight?" he asked challengingly.

            John crossed his arms defiantly, glaring at the blonde. "You better not forget to video call Casey," he grumbled instead of answering the hovering man.

            John watched Dave's face fall and his shoulders slump, and his anger faltered. "I'll miss you and Casey..." Dave mumbled softly. He searched the brunette's face silently for a moment or two longer, before giving a dejected sigh and flying off.

            John was going to miss him, too.

            Why couldn't he have just said that?? Why did he have to be such a pouty jerk?? Now he was more angry with himself than with Dave. What was wrong with him?

            Casey held out her arms for John when he came back into the house. She was a perceptive little thing, noticing instantly John's scowl, and when he picked her up, she papped his face in concern.

            "It's okay, Casey. Wanna watch a movie?" John asked, taking her over to his movie collection and letting her pick. She grabbed one of Dave's favorite movies and babbled at John, then looked over his shoulder expectantly.

            Casey made an inquisitive noise, looking from John to the door and back again. She pointed at the door and looked to John, spouting gibberish that sounded like demands, as if she was ordering John, 'bring me my daddy Dave!'

            "Daddy's going on a trip and won't be home for a while, okay? We'll just have to have fun without him!" John tried to sound reassuring, but now Casey was looking alarmed. She patted John's chest urgently, looking frantically from him to the door. "It's just for a little while, Casey!" John recited, trying to calm her down, but she wasn't having it. "Daddy will be back soon! He'll only be gone for a little while!" he tried to convince her.

            It was as if the only word the little blonde had heard was 'gone', because she began to outright scream for Dave, tears streaming down her chubby cheeks. John hugged her and bounced her gently in an effort to calm her, but she only calmed once she had cried herself to sleep.

            It was horrible. John hadn't felt that helpless in a long time. Was this how it was going to be every day until Dave returned? He wouldn't be able to handle it, seeing her that upset. Would Dave come back sooner if John asked him to? If it was for Casey? With how he let Dave leave, he was unsure.

            Casey was more calm when she awoke from her unprompted nap, still being held in John's arms while he watched the movie she had picked out. The two of them watched the movie together in silence, so when John's phone went off, the sudden noise made them both jump.

            Dave's face popped up on the small screen as soon as John answered. "Case-adilla!" He called happily, and Casey perked up instantly. She snatched the phone from John's hands, squealing happily. The two of them talked for close to an hour. Dave gave her a digital tour of his dusty, unused house, rambling on about little things while Casey listened, enraptured. He stayed on the video chat with her while she drank her nighttime bottle, and reluctantly said goodnight when John announced it was her bedtime.

            "Dave?" John called uncertainly right before the blonde hung up. Dave hesitated, making a noise of acknowledgement. "I'll miss you too." Dave gave him a rare, dazzling smile and wished him goodnight.

            It was only a week later when Dave called to announce he was packing up and flying back to John's house. "I miss you guys too much to be gone for any longer," he admitted.

            John tried to make his voice sound stern, and not desperate like he truly felt, when he replied, "good, and you better be bringing all your shit with you! You're moving!"

            Dave looked taken aback. "What, really? You mean that?" he asked.

            "Of course I mean it, dunkass! I'll have to get Jade to use her space powers to expand the house, but it was too hard to be away from you," he explained, then amended quickly, "for Casey, that is!" Dave laughed incredulously at John's flustered expression and pink cheeks.

            "All right, I'll see her soon. And you, too," he teased before hanging up. The blank screen reflected John's embarrassed face back to him, and he tossed it down and covered his face with his hands, groaning.

            ....... Still, he couldn't wait for Dave to come back. He wondered if he couldn't persuade him to use his time powers and speed up his journey...

Chapter Text

            Dave arrived with Karkat, Jake, and Jade around noon the next day. As soon as the godtiers touched down and placed their grumpy troll on his feet, they were greeted by a blur of blue as John rushed to meet them. He hugged Dave tightly, and the blonde could only laugh as he easily returned the embrace.

            "Honey, I'm home~!" Dave teased in a singsong voice. John scoffed at him, pulling back and punching the taller boy in his arm playfully. "Where's my baby girl?" he prompted, peering over the brunette's head. Dirk and Jane were standing in the doorway, the latter holding the small blonde in her arms. Casey looked like she had just woken up and was ready to doze off again.

            "Look, Casey, it's your daddy," Jane announced gently so as to not startle the baby. As soon as the word 'daddy' was uttered, Casey was jolted awake, blue eyes looking around frantically. As soon as she saw Dave, she began wailing, squirming and holding out her arms for him.

            Dave practically ran to her side, gratefully taking her from the flustered brunette girl and hugging her to him. "It's okay, Casey! Daddy's home! I'm right here, sweetheart," he murmured soothingly, bouncing her slightly as she hiccuped and sobbed.

            "This was how the entire week went, I swear," John sighed, though he couldn't tamp down the fond smile on his face.

            "Minus the screaming and the toy throwing," Jane supplied, cringing.

            "And the biting. Brat's got a killer pair of chompers on her, I swear to fuck," Dirk muttered.

            "Fok!" Casey parroted through her tears, nodding in agreement. Dave spluttered.

            "Motherf- did you teach my daughter how to say 'fu-'.... the F word?" he demanded of his brother, stumbling over his own curses.

            "No, no, she's just saying 'fork'!" John protested.

            "She's saying 'fuck', John; please, don't be so naive," Jane chided.

            "It's 'fork'!" the blue eyed boy insisted.

            "Fok!" Casey repeated helpfully.

            "Oh, relax, Dave! Casey already has heard all those words, especially since she's already met Uncle Fuckass, anyways!" Jade laughed.

            "Fuck you!" Karkat snarled, only making the taller girl laugh harder. In an effort to curb any potential screaming fits by a certain troll, Jake cleared his throat.

            "Alright, I reckon it's about time to hop to it! Shall we?" he prompted. Jade nodded enthusiastically and cracked her fingers, though the rest of them knew it was unnecessary and rolled their eyes.

            "Yep, time to get expanding! We'll start by making Dave's new room, right?" she asked rhetorically before heading into the house. Jake and John hurried after her, with Dirk quick on their heels. This left Dave and Karkat to watch the house expand before their eyes.

            Dave whistled, low and impressed, smirking Karkat's way. "Harley's spacey thing is pretty rad, right?" he grinned. Before Karkat could inevitably snap something back at him, John was poking his head out the front door.

            "Do you want the bathroom to be expanded?" John called.

            "Hell yeah, dude! I'm tired of having to fight you for the bathroom every morning," Dave teased. The blue eyed heir stuck his tongue out and ducked back inside. "We should probably go... supervise, or something," he added Karkat's way.

            "Oh yeah, because we're gonna be sooo useful right now," Karkat sneered, rolling his eyes.

            "I mean... I could speed things up so you have less time to bitch about everything?"

            "Fuck you!"

            "Fok!" both looked down at Casey and then at each other.

            "...She's definitely saying 'fuck'," Karkat confirmed. 

            Dave wandered out of the kitchen, ignoring the sounds of bickering coming from said room, and stopped short. He surveyed the brunette heir silently as the other sat and stared ahead blankly, seemingly unaware of the blonde's presence. Finally, the brunette spoke.

            "Dave."

            "John."

            "You can see me, right."

            "I sure fuckin' can, bro."

            "Tell me what's wrong with this picture."

            "It looks suspiciously like you are sitting in your bathtub, which is smack dab in the middle of the living room," Dave commented. Jade wandered out a moment later. "Hey Jade? What, may I ask, the fuck?" Dave inquired with a gesture of his arm towards the bathroom appliance.

            "Oops! Sorry! We'll move that back to the bathroom once Pooplord gets out of it," she apologized, smirking John's way. John stuck his tongue out at her, and she was quick to return the gesture.

            While John assisted with the bathtub relocation, Dave drifted over to where Casey and Karkat were coloring with crayons in a coloring book. "How's it going?" Dave asked.

            "Your child has a master plan for this piece of art, and part of the plan involves snatching crayons right out of my fucking hands," Karkat explained. As if to demonstrate, Casey plucked the yellow crayon he was using straight out of his hand.

            "Casey, you need to share your crayons with Uncle Kat," Dave told her.

            "No," Casey replied simply.

            "Alright, you heard the little lady. She doesn't need to share," Dave agreed, shrugging at Karkat.

            "Daaaaaave!" they heard John call. Dave followed the sounds of verbal strife to John's bedroom, where the blue eyed boy in question was arguing with Jade, his cheeks bright red. "Tell Jade she doesn't have to make my bed bigger!" he whined.

            "It's just in case!" Jade retorted, hands still poised to expand the bed.

            "We don't need 'just in case'! Dave has his own bed now!" John cried, throwing his hands in the air.

            "Dude, chill. Just let her expand the bed; it's not gonna hurt anything. More room for you to spread out at night, right?" Dave placated, patting John's shoulder soothingly. John grumbled under his breath, but allowed the witch to do as she pleased.

            After that, Jade announced she would take a break while the rest of the group unpacked Dave's stuff from boxes. Every time Dave or John returned to the living room for more things to put away, they found Casey incased in a fort that steadily grew bigger as the evening passed, until finally there were no boxes left and a sign on the 'door' that read "NO BOYS ALLOWED" with a small note underneath that said "(except Karkat)".

            John could hear giggling and baby babble coming from inside, and he poked his head in cautiously. "Hello?" he asked, eyes scanning the interior until he found Jade lying on her side with Casey exploring the fluffy white ears atop her head.

            "Hi, John! Do you like our awesome fort??" Jade inquired.

            "It's pretty cool," John admitted. However, upon seeing her papa, Casey crawled towards him and held out her arms. "She's kinda too young to appreciate forts yet, though," he added as he scooped her up. Jade exited the fort as well, shrugging.

            "Eh, she'll appreciate them more when she's older. Auntie Jade is a fort-making expert, you know. You'll have the coolest forts ever!" Jade told the little blonde happily. Casey blew a raspberry. "Nicely said," the witch added with a giggle.

            The delicious smell of dinner began to fill the house as Jane busied herself with cooking. "You don't have to cook, you know. You're sort of a guest, so it's shitty to make you cook for us in our own house," Dave commented. Jane waved him off.

            "That's ridiculous, Dave. You know I enjoy cooking! Besides, do you truly think I would do something I didn't want to do?" Jane challenged, raising her eyebrows at the knight. Dave snorted.

            "Guess not; you could snap me in half like a twig if I tried to force you to do something against your will," he conceded. Jane smiled pleasantly.

            "I sure would, buster! Now go sit and wait for dinner!" she ordered.

            "Yes ma'am." 

            After waving goodbye to their friends and laying Casey down in her crib for the night, John and Dave stood awkwardly in the hallway between the two of their rooms.

            "Sooo... it's gonna be pretty nice getting your bed back from now on, right?" Dave began uneasily. John hummed in affirmation, shuffling from foot to foot.

            "It's, uh... it's gonna be nice sleeping in your own bed, too," the blue eyed boy replied. Dave nodded absently. They looked to each other and then to their respective rooms.

            "Well, um... goodnight?"

            "Yeah! Yeah, um, sweet dreams, Dave!" John smiled, giving the blonde a loose hug around the neck. Dave briefly squeezed around the brunette's waist before they untangled and went their separate ways.

            Fast forward three hours to John stared unseeing at the ceiling, wondering why this sleep thing was suddenly so damn difficult all of a sudden. He turned his head and squinted at the clock, reading the blurry red numbers that mocked him.

            With a sigh, the heir rolled over away from the clock and closed his eyes. Maybe if he could pretend he was asleep, he could trick his brain into actually falling asleep?

            ................THIS WAS STUPID!!!

            John's cellphone lit up and vibrated with a message. He grabbed the phone and brought it close to his face, grateful for the sudden excuse to be awake.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

TG: are you awake

EB: yeah, are you?

TG: ...

EB: ok that was a dumb question, shut up.

EB: why are you awake, anyway? it's late.

TG: cant sleep

EB: me either.

TG: why not

EB: i don't know! why can't you?

TG: ...

TG: lonely

EB: oh.

TG: yeah

EB: do you...

EB: want to come sleep in here with me?

            Even as John was typing out the amendment "just for tonight!", there was a knock on his bedroom door. John used the Windy Thing to open the door without getting out of bed, revealing the knight standing there in his pajamas, holding his pillow and looking only slightly embarrassed.

            "It's just weird sleeping alone after so long," he defended. John smiled, scooting over to let the red eyed boy climb into bed with him. The two of them took a few minutes to get settled, not used to the bed being big enough for the both of them.

            They laid there in silence, turned away from each other with frowns on their faces, before Dave swore under his breath and rolled over, draping an arm over the heir and crowding in close.

            "Are you cold?" John asked, cheeks flushing at the closeness.

            Dave paused, clearly debating on his answer, before simply saying, "yeah, sure, now shut up and sleep." Instead of replying, John carefully rolled over and pressed his face into the knight's chest, sighing contently. Dave tensed for only a moment before relaxing to the other boy's touch.

            After that, the sleep thing came as easy as breathing for the heir of breath.

Chapter Text

            John expected, after everything that had happened on his birthday so many years ago, that his friends would keep things lowkey and casual for future birthdays.

            This? This is not what he expected.

            "Did you invite everyone on Earth C??" John hissed under his breath to his ecto-sisters, glancing around at all the people in his home.

            Jane giggled whilst Jade shook her head and replied, "No, of course not, silly! Just our friends!" John sighed and looked back at the party. The current guests filling up his home displayed how colorful his extended group of friends were.

            Kanaya was holding Casey in her lap, probably because Dave had told her to protect the baby from the weirder trolls. John was pretty sure her reply had been, "I will guard her with my life," which was a little over the top but also reassuring. Leaned against her side was Rose, playing peek-a-boo with the tiny blonde. Calliope sat on her other side, smiling pleasantly at the shenanigans of the rest of the party.

            Jake was feeling the bulky red muscles of ARquius' arm, while both of them attempted to convince Dirk to feel them as well. Dirk was vehemently rejecting them and occasionally pegging them in the face with bread rolls.

            Davepeta, Jasprose, and Gcatavros were giggling and whispering to each other, no doubt planning some kind of flashy unprompted performance. The three of them couldn't help themselves; they were naturally flashy people... or ghosts, or whatever sprites could be considered.

            Roxy and Sollux were talking animatedly about video games and hacking. John was unsurprised that the two of them got along so well, just as he was unsurprised that Aradia and Dave got along. They talked about archaeology and dead things, and gave each other advice on cool archaeology things they could find with their Time powers.

            Terezi and Vriska were teasing Karkat incessantly, making him yell and curse at them, going on angry rants while they giggled and egged him on. Vriska caught John's eye and smiled brightly, slipping out of the conversation. Karkat barely noticed her departure, continuing his rant at the teal blood.

            "Heyyyyyyyy, John!" Vriska greeted, drawing out the 'y' as usual. John smiled and hugged her.

            "Vriska! It's nice to have you and Terezi here this year; last year you were AWOL and she was trying to find you, remember?" John prompted.

            "I don't know what you mean by me being 'a wall', but yeah I just had some stuff to wrap up before I had my happily ever after on Earth C," She explained, sighing dramatically. "That's the price you pay when you have so many irons in the fire, I suppose!"

            "Yeah, I guess. Thanks for coming this year, though!" John smiled before someone turned on music and Vriska was pulled away to dance with Jade, effectively ending their conversation. Roxy dragged Calliope into a dance with her, and John went over to take her spot next to Kanaya.

            "Happy birthday, John. We haven't gotten a chance to talk or hang out in a while, due to our work with the new troll brood. We haven't even gotten a chance to meet your own little one until now," she explained, smiling at Casey. Casey tried to hand her the toy she had been munching on. "No thank you," she added politely.

            "That's alright, I know that you get busy whenever a new brood hatches," John dismissed. "It's nice to see you both could make it, though! Has Casey been keeping you company?" he asked.

            "Oh yes, though she hasn't got much to offer in the way of conversation," Rose chuckled.

            "You simply must let me get her measurements and make her some nice clothing," Kanaya added. John frowned.

            "What's wrong with the clothes she has on now?" he argued. Rose gestured at the yellow crocs on the baby's tiny feet, giving John a pointed look. "Okay, that's fair. In my defense, Dave alchemized the crocs."

            "Yes, well, neither of you have ever been known for your fashion sense. Leave it to the most fashionable lesbians on Earth C to spruce up her wardrobe," Rose said, black painted lips quirking playfully.

            "Spruce away, ladies," he agreed.

            "Now that we've gotten that out of the way," The seer continued, and John felt a pang of apprehension at her tone, "please tell us how you and Dave have been getting along lately. Has the addition of a biological child changed your relationship at all?" Rose quizzed.

            "Changed our... what?" the brunette felt his cheeks burn. "We're still just bros, Rose! Nothing has changed!"

            "Mm, so you say. Your sudden flustered reaction tells me it might not be as simple as that," Rose pointed out. "You might still be 'bros', but is that all you want to be? You are living a very domestic life with someone who is supposedly only a friend. You are even raising a child together. Have you even considered that you might have feelings for Dave?" she pressed.

            John could only splutter a bit, blue eyes darting around to find where the blonde boy in question was. He didn't want Dave to hear the embarrassing things his sister was saying.

            "Your stunned silence is enough to tell us what we wanted to know, John. Perhaps you might want to consider your feelings? You might find that things have been developing long before Casey came along," Kanaya suggested.

            Before John could even think of a reply, Dave had appeared by his side. "Come on, Egbert! Stop letting those snarky broads get into your head and come dance with me!" he urged. Grateful for the chance to escape, John grabbed Dave's offered hand and let himself be dragged away. As he retreated, the heir glanced back and saw the knowing smiles on the girls' faces. He quickly looked away.

            John danced with Dave until Jade stole the knight away and Jake came to swing him wildly around the dance floor instead. He danced with Roxy, who twirled and dipped him, and with Terezi, who he could swear was stepping on his feet on purpose. "I'm blind, John, what do you expect?!" Terezi cackled when John finally called it quits.

            When the music stopped, Jane announced that it was cake time. John still didn't really like cake all that much, but if it was just one cake on his birthday, he wouldn't complain. Besides, Jane's baking was always amazing.

            Dave sat Casey in John's lap as Jane set the cake down and lit the candles. Someone turned out the lights and everyone began to sing 'happy birthday' to him, though at varying speeds and pitches. Dave, standing beside his chair at the head of the table, cringed at the horrible sound. John stifled a giggle.

            When the singing was done, Roxy shouted, "Make a wish!" John stared at the flickering candles, considering his wishes. He glanced down at Casey, who was staring in awe at the candles, and then at Dave, who had even lifted his shades to see better. Their eyes met and John remembered something Dave had joked about a few days prior.

            Seeing the soft, gentle smile on the red eyed boy's face as he looked down at John and their daughter, John instantly knew what to wish for. He blew out the candles, smiling when the little blonde on his lap clapped excitedly and babbled at him.

            "You want some of Papa's cake?" John chuckled when Casey made grabby hands at John's slice. He fed her a bite of the cake and laughed at her happy smile. "You like that?" he teased.

            "Papa!" she answered.

            A hush fell over the room, everyone turning to look at John's stunned expression and Casey, unaware she had just blown everyone's mind. "Did you say 'papa'?" Dave inquired. Casey pat John's shocked face.

            "Papa," she repeated, matter-of-factly. John couldn't help the tears that welled up in his eyes. His daughter had said his name, on his birthday no less, and the joy he felt was overwhelming. Casey noticed him crying and looked to Dave worriedly, but Dave was looking a little teary, too. "Papa?" she called, wiping at the tears on John's cheeks. That's what he did for her when she cried.

            "It's okay, sweetheart," John reassured her, giving her a watery smile. "Papa is just really, really happy." Casey hugged him tightly, petting his unruly hair and babbling comfortingly to him. The rest of the party left the room with their cake, giving them some privacy. Only Dave stayed, draping an arm across John's shoulder.

            "She waited this whole time to say 'papa', huh?" he chuckled, petting Casey's hair affectionately. John laughed, nodding his head in agreement.

            "She was waiting for the right time, I guess," he grinned. Casey, satisfied that her papa was okay, grabbed a fistful of cake to munch on.

            "Hey, what did you wish for, anyways?" Dave asked as he grabbed a napkin to wipe off Casey's hand and face.

            "If I tell you, it won't come true!" John teased, which was only part of the reason why he didn't want to share. He watched with a fond smile as Dave realized a napkin just wasn't going to cut it for the mess Casey had made and took her to the kitchen sink. As he watched them, he thought of how embarrassing it would be to admit how sappy his wish had been.

            "I wish my happy little family will be together forever."

Chapter Text

Living with Dave was, for the most part, a completely normal thing for John. He had kinda already been living with the blonde man for a while before he officially moved in, after all. The only big difference was that Dave’s belongings had been added.

That was one of the biggest issues, though. Dave hadn’t really been raised in the tidiest of abodes. He probably toned it down a lot from how Bro Strider kept things, but occasionally a ninja throwing star would tumble out of the fridge, or John would go to take a shower and find the tub inexplicably filled with nakodile plushies. In general, Dave was kinda careless and left things strewn about the house.

And he never washed the dishes, either. Not unless John pitched a fit about it and demanded he do them. Most of the time, John would have just done them himself, but this time Dave had made a huge mess of the sink John was determined to make the time hero clean up his own mess!

"Stop fuckin' naggin' me, Egbert, I'll clean up in a little bit," Dave dismissed, still gaming on the living room TV.

"You said that four hours ago, you asshole!" John pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh damn, really?" Dave paused his game and checked his phone. "Guess I lost track of time," he shrugged. John's eye twitched.

"You… are a hero of time… and you lost track of it?? Of time??" He challenged. Dave made a motion with his head to indicate he was rolling his eyes.

"Relax, bro, it's not that big of a deal," he sighed. "You're always bitching about shit. 'Pick up this, Dave!' 'Clean this, Dave!' 'Don't put that there, Dave!' Hop off my dick, Egbert," Dave complained.

"Maybe I wouldn't bitch about shit if you didn't leave your shit strewn everywhere like a pretentious shitnado!" John snapped.

Dave hopped to his feet. "I'll wash the damn dishes if you finally shut the hell up!" he huffed, shoving past the brunette into the kitchen.

"I'll shut up when you finally wash the stupid dishes!" John muttered. Whether Dave heard him or not was unknown, but if he did, he decided not to reengage. The two moved into the kitchen, leaving Casey in the living room to play with her toys on her own.

Dave began sorting the dishes in the sink, something he insisted must be done before he could actually start washing. John grumbled about how it was pointless to sort them if they would all get washed anyways, but he didn't press the issue and instead began removing items from the fridge so he could clean the inside.

Dave had washed all the cutlery and started in on the cups, while John had gotten most of the stubborn stains off the inside of the appliance when a metallic clatter and a scream of pain sounded from the living room. Both men instantly dropped what they had in their hands and rushed to the living room.

Wet crimson dripped from a small, trembling hand as Casey wailed, her eyes wide and terrified. Next to her was Dave's sword, it's blade smeared with blood. The blonde had propped it up against the side of the couch days ago after sparring, dismissing John's request to put it away after use.

John scooped her up into his arms, taking her injured hand in his. For a toddler who's only reference for pain was a bump on the head or a stumble when learning to walk, the injury was dire. As he inspected it, John was relieved to see that it looked much worse than it was, although it was definitely more than a simple scrape.

"Dave, go get the first-aid kit and wet a rag with warm water," John ordered, applying pressure to his daughter's wound to slow the bleeding. After a moment without any movement, the heir turned to the other man impatiently.

Dave stood frozen in place, eyes widened behind his shades and glued to the offending weapon on the floor. His whole body trembled, mouth open in shock. "Dave!" John shouted, snapping his best friend out of his trance.

The knight of time flashstepped from the room and then back with the requested items, hands shaking as he helped clean and bandage their daughter's hand. She continued to bawl until John gave the bandage multiple kisses and promised they would use markers to draw pretty things and make it special for her. Even still, she continued to sniffle and occasionally whimper as John hummed soothingly and rocked back and forth gently with her in his arms.

As John wandered from the room into Casey's bedroom to find something to distract her, Dave's eyes landed on his abandoned sword. The smear of red still stained the serrated edge. Dave's upper lip curled in scornful fury.

After John had calmed Casey down and put her down for a nap, he recalled Dave's lack of reaction earlier combined with the fact that he hadn't seen the Strider at all since then. He checked the living room, noticing the offending sword had been disappeared. He checked the kitchen, but the evidence pointed to the other man never returning; the sink was still running, the fridge was opened, and all the fridge's items were still out on the counter.

John turned off the sink and returned everything to the fridge before continuing his search for the blonde. He wasn't outside or in the bathroom, and he wasn't in the room he usually slept in- John's bedroom- either. So unless he had actually left left…

John rapped his knuckles against the door to Dave's room before letting himself in. Sure enough, Dave was sitting hunched over in his bed, head in his hands. "Casey is fine; she's napping now," he told the other man. Dave didn't stir or make a sound. "You don't usually use your own bed, Strider. I'm surprised your ass isn't all snuggled up cozy in my bed," he pointed out, a transparently weak attempt at humor. He still got no reaction.

With a sigh, John gingerly moved the Strider's prized shades to his bedside table and plopped down next to best friend on the bed. He allowed the silence for a bit, hoping he didn't have to prod for answers, but it was clear that Dave wouldn't be offering any explanation on his own. "You froze up back there, Dave. What happened?" he asked, gentle but straight to the point.

The brunette waited for a response, and just as he was about to give up on getting any answers today, his patience bore fruit. "'s my fault." The statement was quiet and muffled, but John heard it just fine. "Casey got hurt because of me," Dave stated, louder. There was a definite shakiness to his voice that had John setting a hand on his back.

"Dave, it's okay," he reassured gently.

"It's NOT!" came the vehement retort as Dave's head snapped up, glaring John's way with misty, red-rimmed eyes. "Don't you get it, Egbert?! I hurt my kid. It could have been worse! I could have-" a sob escaped wobbling lips and tears spilled over, streaking down blotchy red cheeks. "I could have gotten her killed," he whispered.

"But you didn't, Dave. She's fine. Her hand probably won't even scar," John pointed out firmly, turning the other man to face him fully.

"But I could have," Dave reiterated, turning his face away as he continued to cry. "She's my little girl, my baby; I love her so fucking much, John, and I got her hurt. What if I fuck up again??"

"Fuck-ups happen, Strider. You're probably gonna fuck up again, but so am I. But you're not gonna let her get hurt if you can help it," John comforted.

"How can you trust me to even be around her?" Dave sniffled. "You told me to put it away so Casey didn't end up touching it, and I didn't listen! How can you trust that I'm not gonna get worse? I didn't exactly have the best upbringing," Dave chuckled hollowly, shaking his head. "I could turn out to be just like-"

"Hey!" John snapped, grabbing Dave's shoulder and shaking it. "Look at me, you insufferable shitdick. It was an accident. You have those all the time!"

"Gee, thanks Egbert," Dave muttered sarcastically.

"Shut up, you ass. Are you forgetting that Casey even exists because of one of your accidents?"

"Hey! I seem to recall it was YOUR fat ass that shoved me into the control panel!" Dave snapped, pushing the brunette playfully.

"Semantics! The point is, you will not turn out to be like Bro Strider just because of one stupid mistake that we handled. Just like we'll handle every stupid mistake we'll make in the future- together," John stated, using his sleeve to wipe the wetness from the blonde's cheeks.

"She doesn't blame you, by the way," John added. "I mean, how could she? She doesn't really understand what happened. But she loves you too, Dave. She was even asking for her daddy before she fell asleep," John explained, letting Dave absorb the new information.

"I just… I just want to protect her," Dave sniffled. John nodded.

"Of course you do; so do I. So stick around so you can do so, dumbass. I trust you," John agreed, falling back onto the other man's bed. Dave was quiet for a moment before laying down with his head on the heir's chest. John's heart fluttered but he forced himself to stay calm.

After a moment, he heard Dave murmur a quiet but heartfelt, "Thanks."

"Yeah yeah, don't mention it," John huffed. "Did you put the sword where it belonged, by the way?" he added questioningly.

"…something like that," Dave grumbled, but declined to elaborate.

Three days later, two towns over from where John and Dave lived, the mostly carapace community was having a frazzled town meeting to discuss how a random dropped from the sky and lodged itself into the earth of a small field.

Try as they might, the carapace town could not remove the weapon. The local newspaper theorized that, to be stuck so firmly in the ground, it had to be thrown with great strength; strength that was beyond any mortal on Earth C.

The newspaper's header, quoting a local, might have hit closer to the truth than anything else: "It was like it was yeeted from the heavens by a damn god!"