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Sat by the steps, the young medic stared at his own hands, still gloved and covered in blood and foul bodily fluids. His fingertips didn’t feel the warmth of the life he had just lost at the surgery table. She was such a kind person, and, despite her advanced age, it felt like she was still too young to pass away in such a way.
Laurent never had a family he could remember. She wasn’t the first patient he’s lost since he started his journey on medicine by Mroźny’s side, but there was something different about that elderly woman. She was sick, sure, but it felt unfair that someone like her had to go.
“If only I had more time, maybe I could’ve found a cure.” His devastated heart could only hold on to this thought and “I hope she didn’t feel pain or fear.”, the latter being repeated like a mantra.
The silence was agonizing. Mroźny had called Tarik to help prepare the body for her family, seeing how shaken Laurent was by the failed procedure. The memory of what his tutor said after Laurent’s tears started flowing like a river felt like it would haunt him for a long time. “ I knew from the day I first saw you that you weren’t fit to work in the medical field. Please leave. ”
Laurent took the soaked gloves off and crossed his arms on his knees, hugging his own legs. The strong and nauseating scent from the fluids lingered on his hands, but he didn’t mind. He placed his forehead on the top of his arms; honestly, he just wanted to curl into a ball and go to sleep. Not only this was emotionally wrenching, but it took a toll on his body as well. He didn’t count the time he, Mroźny and the team stayed in the emergency room, but surely it was at least a couple of hours.
The painful and dear memory of what she said the day before stabbed him in the chest. “ You are such a handsome young man, dear. Have I ever told you how you remind me of my grandson? He is my most precious treasure. You are sweeter and more patient than him, but don’t let him know. ” Maybe she reminded him of Lady Antonia, even though his patient was older. Something about her made his connection grow almost like a family bound, even if she only stayed there for a couple of days.
There was nothing embarrassing in sobbing his emotions out, but it felt wrong when Mroźny was in the next room. He wished Giangio was there to hold him. Or Tarik. Or his old friends from the Rosa Estate. But for now, he only had his own arms to hug himself.
Mroźny’s cold aura was the only thing that embraced him, after Laurent heard the sound of the door opening. Mroźny assumed he’d find the alchemist still grieving nearby. Leaning on his walking cane, he walked to the man.
“Laurent. Stand up.” Shivers ran through the young man’s spine. “We need to talk.”
Larent obeyed. He dried his tears with the sleeves of his coat and put on a brave face.
“You were right. I’m not fit to be a medic.”
“I know. That’s exactly why I am here.”
“Came to tell me how I wasted your time? How I should give up because I am too weak? Are you going to have me discharged from this laboratory?” The bottled up frustration clearly was heard in his words.
“Laurent – “
“I know! I never forgot what you told me on my first day here. ‘They are not your family and you don’t do miracles.’ I know. But I am only human, am I not allowed to grief the loss of a life? What do you expect me to do?! “He let the moment get over his head and spoke more than he wished he had.” You act like being human is so low just because you have some rotten carcass mass in your body! You think this is evolution?”
Laurent pushed Mroźny away, which caught him off guard and made him drop his cane. The older man was impressed how loss was a trigger so strong that made his apprentice speak his mind about a whole different subject.
Were it a daily situation, Mroźny would simply punish Laurent with bothersome tasks. Seeing how distraught the man was, however, stirred something within his guts. Without allowing second thoughts, Mroźny moved towards Laurent, who recoiled and closed his eyes in response, ready to get slapped for his insolence.
A cold yet comforting feeling surrounded him. He opened his eyes, confused. Reality didn’t look real, but was Mroźny hugging him??
Even with the tutor’s condition making his body temperature, the action felt warm. His long fingers squeezed Laurent’s upper back, which was enough to make him realize that was really happening. He started sobbing like a baby and wrapped his arms around Mroźny.
Mroźny hoped Laurent couldn’t feel his fast heartbeat, because that moment made him oddly emotive. The younger man didn’t want to abuse the rare moment, so he pulled away as soon as he felt calm enough to have a conversation.
“I’m so sorry.” He grabbed Mroźny’s cane from the floor and handed it to him. “I’m going to pack my belongings and – “
“You talk too much when you’re nervous.” Mroźny rolled his eyes. “If you’ll listen to me now?” Laurent looked at him, regret splattered all over his face. “I don’t take my words back. You aren’t ready for this job. High empathy is a double edged sword. You and Tarik always let loss ruin your day, which is why I’ve been trying to teach you how to be professional. If you put your heart on the front line, it’ll be the first part of you to bleed.”
“Is that why you never let your heart show?”
“The reason for that doesn’t concern you.” Mroźny replied with a sharp smile, which made Laurent wheeze. It was good to see their relationship wasn’t broken, but that it improved their trust in one another.
Tarik stepped outside to call Mroźny, but ended up leaning on the door frame watching the moment. He knew his roommate too well; he knew how much he needed someone to be by his side. Tarik would surely offer a friendly shoulder after his work was done.
Aware of his presence, Laurence cleared his throat and asked,
“What should I do now?”
“I want you to think.”
“A difficult duty you’re asking from him.” Tarik teased, hoping to get a smile from him – even a faint one as he achieved.
“Think of what you want to do; where you want to go from here. Personally, I don’t believe being a medic is the right path for you. Depending on your choice, I’ll still be your tutor. Now, if you are done bawling your eyes out in my shirt, I believe I am needed back in there.” His eyes indicated the surgery room. After turning his back, he added, “Ah. One more thing. Whatever you decide, you still owe me for saving your life on your first day.”
Tarik waited until Mroźny was at a safe distance and whispered to his friend, “I think he wants you to stay with the alchemists. The old man doesn’t want to let go of you.”
Their conversation was cut short when Mroźny grunted Tarik’s name, who promptly went inside and closed the door.
Laurent knew the burden of grief all too well, but having dear people close would make the weight bearable. He took a deep breath and placed his hand over his heart, trying to calm down. A warm bath and a good nap could relax his body and mind, but before doing so he figured breathing some fresh air from above wouldn’t hurt.
On his way up, he bumped into Giangio and updated him on everything that had happened. The blue haired man comforted his friend, and also told him how the elderly lady’s family was just outside waiting to talk to the doctors.
The task was daunting, but Laurent was ready for it.
As much as he didn’t like it, Mroźny prepared him well for delivering bad news in a professional way. That was a time when his empathy shone, though. Because Laurent didn’t mind being strong for the relatives, even when they reacted badly. He understood how emotions could hazy someone’s judgement and impulses, especially when talking about loss.
This family wasn’t the type to attack, neither verbal nor physically. They seemed more introspected in their own thoughts, and Laurent respected their space. He reassured them he would be there in case someone else needed any sort of treatment or help, but that miracles were beyond him . And that’s when he realized repeating these words since day one was Mroźny’s way of protecting him.
He took a good look at the state the relatives were in. No one needed immediate assistance. One person caught his eye: a young man, a bit older than him, who stared at his own shoes without crying or saying anything. He noticed resemblances between him and the man – so that was her grandson.
The alchemist approached him and knelt on the floor by his side.
“Your grandmother told me you were her most precious treasure. She loved you greatly.”
Tears started to form on the man’s eyes and he looked at Laurent. “… Thank you, sir.”
“I am terribly sorry for your loss. She was an amazing person.”
“I’m sure you did all you could. Thank you.”
Laurent nodded. The grandson, as the entire family, needed some time. He went back to the facility, where Giangio waited for him. Laurent told him about his bathing and napping plan, to which Giangio half agreed. “What about bathing and having some tea with me?”
A lovely offer! Laurent needed to shake the cold, sudden shivers anxiety was still giving.
“You’ll have to let me soak in the bathtub with you, if you want me to pay for your tea!” The charming short man winked.
Laurent was still unsure what their relationship status was, since Giangio was so elusive about it. No matter the answer, he wouldn’t stop seeing him as a friend.
“Sure, as long as you don’t drown in the water level I usually go for.” Laurent’s nose was still pink from crying so much, and his genuine smile made the sight pretty cute.
The couple left, hand in hand, since there was no one around to see. Laurent was fond of the life he had in that facility, all the friends he made there were important to him and wanted to be sure of his answer to Mroźny. Giangio reassured him to take his time and that they could talk about it while relaxing together.
Nesting in the fancy white marble bathtub in Giangio’s suite, Laurent laid down touching bellies with Giangio on the top of him. His thumb caressed the shorter man’s back. After staring long at the wall thinking about his future for too long, he looked back and paid attention to his… friend? Lover? He was extremely relaxed, his head resting on his chest, body comfortable between his legs. Giangio’s grayish blue eyes met the olive green of his and, for some reason, this made both embarrassed, but Laurent fought the shyness away and put more pressure on his caresses.
If Giangio was a cat, he’d be purring by now. And this thought drove Laurent insane: that would be so adorable!
“Have you ever thought about adopting a cat?” Laurent commented, to get it out of his system.
“Hmm? Are you planning on adopting one?” Giangio replied. He thought his… friend? Lover? Would like to talk about something else after such a stressful time.
“Not really. It’s just that you don’t seem, to me, the kind who’d have a dog. Maybe you’re more of a cat person.”
“As much as I love pets, I don’t think I could adopt any, since I have to travel so much. Didn’t you and Tarik adopt a hen, though?” Of course Giangio knew the answer, but he was still so impressed by the shenanigans these two went through.
“I mean…” Laurent smooched the top of Giangio’s head, who rubbed his cheek on him. “Blanche is technically Tarik’s. I only named her and helped cover him up when he brought her, and now she lives in our shared bedroom, but – oh. We adopted a hen, you’re right.”
Giangio let out the most adorable laugh ever, “Do you think she could lay golden eggs if we infused her with –”
“Absolutely no experiments will be done on Blanche!”
“You’re right, we can’t eat gold.” Giangio pretended to be upset.” Speaking of gold… have you ever heard of the golden coin fruit tree?”
“The tale?”
“You don’t know it is more than just a tale? What has Mroźny been teaching you?”
“ Medicine. And experimenting.”
“So he never told you about the truth behind it? Or about the secret arts of Ergomancy?”
“Ergomancy…?"