Work Text:
Wuk Lamat knew Sphene was suspicious. Of course she did! She was so guarded, and nothing was her fault, and she dodged questions every time they started to get somewhere!
She wasn’t surprised, really, when she found out the truth. It just hurt. It really hurt. But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense that she’d been a machine all along.
There were so many little things that hadn’t been right about her. Like how her dress always stayed clean even when they’d been out in the dust for a while. Or how she didn’t eat or have a favorite food. Syrene had noticed how loud her footsteps were for someone her size, hadn’t she? Hadn’t Erenville mentioned that her shadow didn’t look right? They’d probably all noticed all sorts of other things that Wuk Lamat hadn’t. As a Dawnservant, she should have been more careful.
The list went on. Sphene’s hair was always perfect, even though the dome was so humid and the lightning had Wuk Lamat’s fur standing on end half the time. Her skin was flawless even for someone who stayed inside all the time, and her makeup never even smudged. How had she not noticed it all earlier?
Maybe, she admitted, she didn’t want to notice. When had playing along to learn what happened to Yyasulani turned into something she’d wanted to be real? She hadn’t really known Sphene, but everything she’d said, everything she’d felt…they were so much alike. She’d wanted so badly for her to be telling the truth – to reconcile the Alexandria that’d invaded Tural with the Alexandria its queen represented? Even when they learned one horrible thing after another about life under the dome, even as the chances grew slimmer, she’d hoped.
But those two Alexandrias were the same after all. Deep down, she’d known. It was never going to be real, and neither was Sphene – not the way Wuk Lamat wanted her to be.
That fake – the Simulant – was nothing like her. Sure, she looked the same, talked the same, but the things she said? Even at her worst, the Sphene she knew was built around protecting her people at any cost. This one made her sick.
(Maybe she wasn't completely different. All the cruelty and none of the conscience, just like she had wanted. Just thinking about it hurts.)
She wasn’t careful like the first Sphene was, either. That Sphene never touched anything, never shook anyone’s hand, never walked too close to anything that’d show her illusion for what it was. This one walked too close to corners, and you’d see her dress go right through them. She’d step in a puddle, and you’d see footprints that didn’t match her shoes. No one else seemed to notice – or if they did, they kept it to themselves. It was like she was taunting Wuk Lamat and her friends, daring them to say something. It was infuriating.
Wuk Lamat talked to Syrene for a long time after that first meeting. It’d bothered her, too, she could tell, but Syrene didn’t say why. Instead, she listened, and she knew just what to say. Wuk Lamat wondered if there was something personal about this, but she figured it was best not to ask.
After that, they waited, she and Erenville, Oblivion and the Eorzeans. They waited and they watched, and it felt like forever.
And then there was the real Sphene, alive.
Her hair wasn’t styled the same way, but she still had those green streaks. She borrowed makeup from Nostalgia and Wayakkwe, and it smudged when she cried. She had a few freckles on her face, if you looked closely. One time, when it was unusually warm in the Outskirts, she rolled up her sleeves, and Wuk Lamat noticed odd scars reaching down her arms like a spider’s web. Her face wrinkled more than her Endless self’s when she got angry, or when her smile was at its widest. She made mistakes, and forgot things, and got her new clothes dirty. She gasped in delight when she saw an alpaca for the first time, excited by the chance to touch its soft wool. She didn’t call Wuk Lamat “Lamat’i” right away. She still hasn’t. Wuk Lamat hasn’t asked yet.
And sometimes, when she was careful, she'd see this Sphene looking at her the same way she did, and her heart would skip a beat.
Everything she loved about the Endless Sphene was here, in this one. She’s kind, curious, passionate, and cares more about her friends and her people than anything else. She wasn’t the same as her other self, but that was a good thing! The Endless Sphene was painfully lonely, beneath it all. She couldn’t change, couldn’t grow. She wasn’t allowed to.
It’s hard, sometimes, to wrap her head around it all, but that’s alright! Wuk Lamat’s never made friends with someone twice before! And maybe, if Sphene wants to, someday they can be what Wuk Lamat and the Endless Sphene never could.