Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Evan Buckley wouldn’t believe you if you told him that the most peaceful place he’d ever be in was at home, in his district. He’d tell you that it's a violent place where children train for The Hunger Games, and that it's encouraged to volunteer, just for the slim chance that you’ll even make it out alive.

 Risking or sacrificing your life just for a little bit of honor.

 To Buck, he doesn’t think it's worth it. His heart breaks every reaping day. Every July 4^th, he hopes that his name doesn’t get pulled, because he knows that as much as he’s been forced to train and fight and kill, and that he easily could kill someone else without even breaking a sweat.

But he couldn’t.

He wouldn’t.

Seeing those young kids get reaped just to die in the arena, that also breaks his heart. How could someone want to watch innocent children die? Those people in the capitol using these poor people purely for entertainment now. They always try and remind us that it's “for the Dark ages” but most people that are alive right now weren’t when the Dark ages ended, they didn’t have anything to do with it. But Legacy lives on…

This is his last year before he doesn’t ever have to worry about getting into the hunger games again. The last year he would have to worry about Eddie potentially getting picked too. Maddie hadn’t been at risk for the reaping for a while now, the only thing she has to worry about is her little brother. After losing her other brother right after Buck was born, she didn’t want to lose another.

Daniel died in a boat accident with their father, Philip lived, but Daniel fell off and Philip couldn’t get to him in time, he drowned. I guess that’s what happens when you put off teaching your children how to swim when you live in District 4, where water is everywhere, and the ocean is basically your life.

Buck still thinks about him sometimes, what he would have been like, what his voice would have sounded like, if they would have looked similar? How could their family have been different? Their parents happier, less strict about going out on the water.

“Hey, where’d you go just now?” Eddie mumbled from where him and Buck were sitting at the beach, cuddled up right in between the trees and where the sand started.

It was a small beach, but it was their little secret spot to hang out without worrying about anyone seeing them. The beach was small, there was an abandoned dock that was a little sketchy with a bench on it, greenery went all the way up to the water in either direction, except for the gap that they love so much. In the tree line there is a bit of thick Forrest, and it has beautiful wildflowers. It’s one of the few forested areas in district 4. It’s technically fenced off and you’re not supposed to be there, but the electric fences have been broken for as long as Buck can remember.

“No where” he replied in a whisper; he looked down at Eddie with a soft smile and looked back out to the sky where the sun was getting ready to set. Eddie can read Buck like a book; he knows that look of dishonesty in his eyes.

“I can tell you’re lying, really, what’s wrong?” He paused and sighed, “is it the reaping? I know how you get about it. Look… I’m worried too, it’s Adriana’s first reaping, but there are tons of people that have a chance to get picked, it’s probably not going to be any of us.” he tried to reassure Buck, but also himself.

“Yeah, I know. But maybe in case one of us gets reaped someone might… I don't know, volunteer?” Buck said has he sighed and pulled Eddie closer to him.

“Yeah… uhm… I was- am… kinda considering volunteering this year.” Eddie mumbled as he looks at their intertwined hands and shakes his head. He feels Buck go tense.

“Uh- what? Eddie no, you can’t.” He snaps “You can- you can’t volunteer. You know how many people volunteer and don’t make it back home?!” He’s starting to yell now, he would feel bad for yelling at Eddie any day of the week but tomorrow is reaping day and Eddie just said something so, appalling.

“Buck, I said I was considering it, not that I’d actually do it. But my dad wants me to… y’know bring home a lot of money so my family won’t have to work anymore. Sofia and Adriana will be okay for the rest of their lives. No one will have to worry about money or food again… I’d… I’d be nice.” He tries to reason.

“Eddie no. It's a death sentence! You can’t!” He yells, pulling his hand out from Eddie’s and scrubs both his hands down his face and leaves them together by his mouth.

“Eddie, I don’t know what I’d do without you, if- if you died in the games because you volunteered… how could I go on? Eddie, I’d never get over it.” His voice cracks at the end of the sentence. He’s frustrated and on the verge of crying.

Eddie is his world, his person. No one has ever understood Buck like Eddie has, and honestly no one, not even Maddie, the person who basically raised him, could ever know him like Eddie. Maddie knows Buck so well, again, she basically raised him. Eddie knows the little things that Maddie never would. Like how Buck flutters his eyelashes when he’s admiring

Eddie, or how Eddie always knows when Buck is anxious because of how he picks at his thumbs and subtly bites the inside of his cheeks till they bleed, or rubs his fingers together when he’s overstimulated, Maddie would never get the same smile out of Buck that Eddie does. It’s one that he just saves for him.

And that’s just what he’s seeing now, the thumb picking, him biting the inside of his lip.

“Okay, okay… I won’t- I won’t do it. I couldn’t ever put you through that Buck.” The man calms as he puts one of his hands on buck's face and another to his hands, where he’s picking at the skin on his thumb. “Stop picking it.” He whispers softly, buck barely even heard him, but he could feel Eddies hand over his, separating his fingers.

Buck hums in response and closes his eyes, Eddie leans in and kisses him, it's slow soft, comforting, not long, not rushed, not desperate, but genuine.

He leans back and their foreheads are touching; both of their eyes are closed. They're just sitting their enjoying the moments of peace, because before they know it, this could all be ripped away from them tomorrow.

There is the slightest sliver of hope that they might be right here tomorrow, as always, like they have been after almost every other reaping day. That they would be right here, holding each other, thankful that it's their last, and that they’re safe from the games for the rest of their lives.

Eddie started to stand up, Bucks hand still in his, “Hey what- “

“Come on” he started as he was getting to his feet, “I wanna go swimming, and we need a break from pouting about the reaping.” He finished saying as he pulled Buck up with him.

Eddie started to sprint as fast as he could toward the dock, kicking up sand behind him as he ran.

“Alright, alright!” Buck said to him as he started running to the dock after Eddie.

“Oh, come on Buck don’t be slow!”

“Oh, shut up Edmundo-“ Buck teased back as he jumped off the dock into the water.

They swam and hung out near the dock for 15 minutes before they decided to go back near the beach, sitting on the shore where the waves were crashing against their legs.

“c’mere” Buck said reaching for Eddie.

“Jeez, Buck! Your hands are freezing get off me!” Eddie hissed as he fled away from Buck’s hold.

“Hey, hey, no!” He started to laugh, “Please no come back, Eddie!” he pleaded while trying not to laugh.

“Nope. Not if you're going to use me as a human hand warmer.” Eddie said popping the P in nope and crossing his arms.

Buck hated when Eddie got sassy, or at least he pretended to hate it, he would never tell him that though. Eddie was standing in front of him, arms crossed, shirtless, hair still wet, skin wet from the salty ocean water, Buck couldn’t help himself but to stare at his boyfriend.

“What?” Eddie said trying to sound serious but failing miserably ending it with a laugh. He uncrossed his arms and put his hands on his hips, then flailed his arms, “Why are you looking at me like that?!”

“Why are you getting uncomfortable Diaz?” He said while standing up, walking towards Eddie and pulled him into a hug. The shorter one just sighs into Buck’s arms and puts his face into Buck’s neck, and they just stay there. Standing there holding each other. Trying not to think about how tomorrow they could be in the arena, and for Eddie, trying not to think about how it could be one of his sisters.

“Buck your hands are still cold as hell”

“Deal with it” he mumbled back into Eddie’s skin.

They soon left and went to go sit down where the sand was still warm and laid down next to each other, but close enough to still be touching, holding hands.

“Eddie, I have a bad feeling about tomorrow, not just because it's reaping day… well y’know… but I feel like somehow this one is worse.”

“Buck it is worse, there’s a chance that both of my sisters could get into the arena together and that either one or none of them would come back out.” He sighs and sits up before continuing, “The president said that the arena was extra deadly this year, more mutts, more poison plants, even hinted at what seemed like some kind of natural disaster.”

Buck sits up and positions himself to where he’s laying in the other man's lap. He grabs Eddie’s hand and starts to play with his fingers.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He whispers.

The sun has almost fully gone down now, the sky is a mix of colors, oranges, purples, deep blues, some clouds in the sky, reflecting and enhancing its beauty. Buck loves watching the sun go down, there’s a calm about it like no other. The thought that you’ll never see another sunset just like it, they’re all different in their own way. He also appreciates a good sunrise, but he’s not enough of a morning person for that.

“We should probably start walking back now before it gets to dark” Eddie mumbles as he looks down at Buck, basically half asleep in his lap now.

“Buck?” he whispers into Buck’s hair. “Hey, come on let's go.” He whispers again and places a kiss into Buck's curls.

“Hmm… yeah… I guess so” Buck says tiredly,

They walk back to their homes, splitting when they have to leave to go their separate ways. Buck wishes he could have stayed there on the beach, laying there in Eddies lap, with his hand in his, falling asleep. Even just waking up there, watching the sun come up with Eddie. It sounds like a perfect night and a perfect morning. Even though that sweet morning would be ruined by the thought of the reaping. Just thinking about spending all his time with Eddie makes him happy, giddy even, like a teenage girl. Maddie always tells him to stop acting like one when he’s being dramatic, but hey, he can't help it sometimes.

“Hey I’m home!” Buck yells into his house as he shuts the door behind him and kicks his shoes off.

“Evan why are you so late! I always tell you to be home before it gets dark, not after.” Margret scolds him. God, Buck hates when she raises her voice. When she yells it just sounds like a dead seagull squawking at some food. it's always something with her. She’s always disappointed, or angry, nothing is ever good enough for her.

“Yeah, what were you doing out so late? Where were you?” He pauses and sighs, “You know the policy Evan.” Philip cuts in, unwanted. He also hates how his father always takes his mother’s side. Sometimes it feels like he’s not allowed to have his own opinion when it comes to his wife, but that’s just how they are. Philip and Margaret Buckley, the poor parents who lost their son in a boating accident, still mourning their son.

“I was out with Eddie, sorry.” He replies dryly.

“Doing what? Like what could you have possibly been doing that you forgot to come home before it got dark. It's dangerous out there at night.” Margaret raises her voice, obviously annoyed at her son.

“We were just hanging out” He shrugs and walks away to his room.

Margret scoffs and Philip crosses his arms as they watch Buck storm off.

“I mean they have a point; it can get dangerous out there, especially with the curfew out on reaping day.” Maddie pauses, looks at her brother with a knowing look on her face, “What were you doing so late with Eddie? You guys have been hanging out a lot more this past year.” She questions as she scoots further onto Buck’s bed, moving both of her legs onto the mattress and crossing them, hands in her lap, leaning forward.

“Like I told our parents, we were just hanging out.” Buck replies annoyed, and he moves to where he’s laying down in his bed, hands behind his head. He sighs and sees Maddie through the corner of his eyes staring at him.

“Okay, what? Why are you looking at me like that?” he says tiredly and then closes his eyes.

“Nothing, just if you have something you wanna tell me, you know you can. I won't tell mom and dad, because you know how much I love telling them things.” She shrugs and goes to stand up.

“Nope, nothing.” He lies, popping the P in nope. Annoyed and tired. (Missing Eddie? Totally. Mad He couldn’t just stay there and fall asleep in his arms? Absolutely.)

“Well, it's gonna be your last reaping day, how are you feeling about it?” she asks.

“uhm” he scoffs, “Well… I dunno.” He slams his hands onto his lap and sighs, “I mean I’m glad that it's my last, but I’m also worried because well, you know how many times my name is in that bowl, Maddie.” He groans and rubs his hands down his face.

“Yeah, I know Evan. But just think about how many other kids’ names are in that bowl, some more than you.” She pauses then continues, “I don’t think it's gonna be you.”

“But what if it is Mads? I honestly don’t think I could do it, kill innocent children. It’s- It’s just-“ He sighs and puts his hands into fits and puts one arm over his eyes. Because no matter what his parents tell him, that, ‘Evan, if you make it into the Hunger Games and win, you’ll bring so much honor and respect to our name, and you’ll make us rich!’ God, he hated his parents sometimes. So needy, always nagging, and strict. But Maddie, she is his sanity at home.

“Hey, hey, yeah I know.” She reassures him.

“Yeah, well Mads I’m tired. Plus, it's a big day tomorrow so I wanna get some sleep in case I do end up getting reaped.” Buck teases as he adjusts his pillow and sinks back into it closing his eyes.

“Please don’t talk like that Evan, please.” She sighs and continues, “Goodnight, I love you.” She faintly smiles and starts to walk out of the room.

“G’night Maddie.” He replies, already half asleep.

Buck woke up with a headache and as absolutely exhausted as he was last night, he slept terribly.

When Reaping day is hanging over your head you tend to not sleep well, especially when you’re at a higher risk for actually getting into the games.

He feels selfish for mostly just worrying about himself, yes, he is worried about Eddie getting reaped too. But sometimes he remembers about Eddie’s little sisters. Adriana and Sofia, it's Adriana’s first reaping, and it's Sofia’s 2^nd. He tries to justify it and say that it won’t be them because they’re still just kids, their names are in it much fewer than his own. He doesn’t really spend a lot of time with the girls, but they’re lovable, sassy like Eddie, and just good kids.

He spends at least 10 solid minutes just lying there staring at the ceiling thinking if it’s even worth it to get out of bed.

But he has to, there is no way that he could get out of the reaping.

Or is there a way out of the reaping?

No, they’d catch him, peacekeeper presence doubles on reaping day.

To many people try to run.

He has to get ready, and look presentable for the capitol, trying to seem richer than they really are.

He slips on a brand new outfit that Maddie made him, well technically not new because he’s had this blue button down for a while, but it's new because Maddie got her hands on some thread, so she threaded a dolphin onto the shirt, right to the left of his belly button. It’s subtle because the thread is a slightly darker shade of blue than the shirt.

He puts on dark blue pants to go with the blue color scheme, and puts on his fanciest pair of shoes, ones that once belonged to his father. They were brown, but worn so they were more orange looking in some areas like on the toe, heal, and the inner sides of the shoe.

Maddie helped him style his hair a little neater than usual, she used an old comb that was missing more than a few bristles and helped styled his front curls. She left one curl out on his forehead, he didn’t love it, but she insisted that it gave him ‘personality’ he insisted that he had plenty of personality to make up for it.

She flicked the side of his head and walked away.

What? It was true he thought he had plenty of personality to make up for it, it's not his fault he’s right? Right?

Yeah.

He thinks about what Eddie will wear to the reaping. His mom prepared for the reaping every year, ever since her kids were old enough to have their names in the bowl she’d spend all year looking for scrap clothing and things to make so her kids always had something new and different to wear on reaping day.

Last year she put Eddie in an orange button down with dark blue pants, but the shirt had light blue patches of different symbols on the shoulders, just on the top, going all the way down the sides of his arms and ending at the cuffs.

The year before that she cut up 4 old shirts that Eddie had outgrew and made a new one, but they were all different colors, a mixture of Browns, blues, and greens, though she made the neckline and the cuffs a red shirt.

His favorite look though, was when she got her hands on some paint markers, God knows how, and Eddie was dressed in a white shirt, and the pants where full-on blue, purple, and pink designs swirled over the pants.

Buck didn’t like Helena all that much, and she wasn’t the biggest fan of his at times either, but he had to give her credit when it was due, she always did a good job on Eddie’s outfits. Though he’s only ever seen Sofia’s outfit once.

Helena and Ramon were very proud people, they wanted Eddie to be in the games, and to win, bring in money and fame for their family. So, they always pushed him to train, all the time. He barely had any free time. A lot of the time though, he just didn’t go and went to meet up with Buck instead. There was one time though that Adriana followed Eddie to “training” because she was curious and not old enough yet, instead she followed Eddie to meet up with Buck. Good thing that he caught her spying before anything happened.

Eddie did not want that secret out with his parents, they’d probably kill him before the games ever could. One thing about Adriana, she couldn’t keep a secret even if you paid her.

Wow, all 3 Diaz kids will be in the reaping this year… This must be so stressful on them. He feels for Helena and Ramon, having to watch all their kids get risked into the games. It must be painful, knowing that when you leave the house one or two of your kids might not ever come back.

He’s sitting on an old wooden chair by the door, waiting, thinking, when he gets pulled out of his thoughts by his mother.

She sighs, “Evan, are you ready to go? Where’s your sister?”

He claps his hands together in between his knees and wraps his hands together, “Uhm, I dunno, probably still getting ready in her room.”

“Of course she is” She breathes out, already exhausted with the day… per usual.

“It’s only 1:30 mom, it doesn’t start until 2 o’clock we’re fine.” Making a pathetic attempt at trying to calm his mother, clearly failing miserably.

Philip enters the room heavy footed and also already impatient, just like his mother.

Great.

Philip pinches his fingers to the bridge of his nose and shakes his head back and forth a few times before releasing his hand and yelling, “Maddie hurry up, we want to be on time! Let’s get a move on!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming! Jeez.”

Buck looks up at Maddie from where he was staring at his hands, and gives her a somber smile, clearly forced.

“Evan, stop with that.” Margret says quietly at him.

He didn’t even realize he was bouncing his leg and biting his cheek.

“Okay, are we all finally ready to leave?” His dad asks the group gesturing at the door.

All Buck can do is just nod and stand up, open the door, and start walking to what he hopes isn’t his impending doom.

Eddie

Unlike Buck, Eddie didn’t sleep. I mean Buck didn’t sleep well, but at least he slept. Eddie came out of his room filled with a lot of nervous energy. He wanted to start running laps outside of his house, or just run to Buck, he wasn’t picky, or was he?

He was excited to see Buck, he always was. Buck had told him that Maddie was going to surprise him with something special for his final reaping outfit.

Eddie almost didn’t hear Buck talking about it because he was busy, well, not really, but he was! He loved looking into Buck’s blue eyes. They reminded him of a sunny day out on the boat, seeing the water sparkle like diamonds. Just gorgeous.

Damn, now he wants Buck in his arms and to kiss him until he can’t anymore. God, he is so down bad for him.

He flinches when he feels a hand on his shoulder, “Eddie, hello?”

“Uh, sorry what?” He was sitting down at his dining table, still in the clothes he fell asleep in last night, staring at the bowl of food that was sitting lifeless in front of him.

“I just asked you if you were going to eat that or just stare at it.”

“Uhm, yeah, sorry ma, just distracted this morning I guess.” He mumbles out with uncertainty in his voice.

“Have you made up your mind about volunteering yet Edmundo?” His father asks while walking into the kitchen area, already fully dressed with his hair styled, and in the same outfit he wears every reaping day.

“Uhm, yeah actually-“ He begins to reply before he’s cut off by Adriana.

“Mama! Mama! What does my reaping outfit look like? I’ve been dying to know!” She exaggerates as she puts her hands down on the dining table firmly and stares intently at her mother.

“Well, I can get them out now and show you all what I’ve come up with this year.” She wipes her hands off with a towel and throws it off onto the counter and begins to walk to her room. Adriana following close behind nearly bouncing off the walls in anticipation.

“Eddie, you coming?” Helena stops and looks back at him.

He gets up from his seat at the table and shrugs at his father before walking to his mother’s room to see this year’s outfit. His final reaping outfit.

“Hurry up! I wanna see!” Adriana is basically vibrating out of her skin in excitement.

Eddie doesn’t understand why she’s so excited today of all days. This is not a day to be excited and enthusiastic. Two people are going to be sentenced to their probable deaths, and one of them could be you, or me. Or Sofia

“Calm down Adriana, I’m grabbing them, no need to get so crazy.” Helena sighs and begins to ask, “Eddie, mijo can you grab Sofia?”

“Sure mama.” And he walks out of the room to Sofia and Adrianas room, checking if she’s in there.

He knocks on the door lightly and then opens it, “Sofia?” He looks around the room to find it empty.

Weird…

He thinks maybe she went into the kitchen for breakfast, nothing, she’s not there either, it's just Ramon sitting at the table with his mug. Eddie hums before making his way back to his parents' room.

He knocks on the doorframe and leans on it, one leg crossing the other.

“Uhm, Sofia’s not in her room, or the kitchen, the bathroom is also empty…” Eddie stretches out the last word sounding uncertain. He moves his lips into a tight line and rubs his hands together.

“What- what do you mean?” She scoffs, “go check outside maybe she’s out there.” Helena demands him.

“m’kay”

It’s so weird that Sofia wasn’t in the house, she’s really not much of an outdoor kinda girl. She’s always cooped up in her room doing something. She hates going out on the water and hates all the bugs. I mean he doesn’t blame her for that part; they are super annoying.

“Sofia!” He shouts, looking around.

Eddie’s house is sitting near a beach, so they have their own private dock, like every other house that sits on the beach. They don’t really have much of a fence, on the side of the house it's mostly just some wooden pillars with 2-3 weak strands of wire connecting them, in some places, it's been broken. No one has the need or want to fix it.

There’s some tall grass surrounding the house and dies out till it gets to the sandy part of the beach, till the ocean.

“Sofia!” He calls again, louder this time, more desperate.

He’s worried, where is she? He doubts she’ll be out here.

Eddie mumbles under his breath, “I swear to god Sofia where are you?” Kind of angry, still desperate to find her.

If she ran away today, and a peacekeeper finds her, if she’s trying to escape… she’ll be dead.

He’s looking around more frantically now, walking towards the dock. That’s when he sees her, well her feet anyways. Sticking out from behind a couple crates.

“Sofia…?” He calls out again.

He’s close enough to hear her hiccup out a sob. She’s shaking a little.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He kneels down by her wiping tears off of her face.

“I-I… I, don’t wanna g-go.” She says in between sobs.

“We have to mija I’m sorry”

“But what if we just, don’t, I don’t w-wanna get picked! E-Eddie I don’t wanna d-die!” She leans forward grabbing Eddie’s shirt and buries her face in his chest. He pulls in her in closer and hugs her.

“Shhh, it’ll be okay, you’re not going to get picked, it's only your second year, your name is only in twice. It’ll all be okay.” He reassures his crying sister, currently getting his shirt all wet. But it's okay, anything to make her feel better.

God, he remembers when she was just a little girl, a baby, so tiny and fragile, he was scared to hold her for the first time. His mom encouraged him. But before he got a chance to hold her, she started crying. Helena was struggling to get her to stop, so he offered to try. She calmed down almost instantly, falling asleep in his arms.

He shushes her and strokes his hand through her hair, “It’ll be okay… and hey, if you do get picked, you’ll win… because you’re smart and resourceful.”

She sniffles and moves her head to the side; the crying has slowed down. “But I’m weak Eddie.”

“Hey, no,” He grabs her head to make her look at him. “you’re not weak. Listen, you’re not. You, Sofia Diaz are strong.”

“Yeah…” She replies with uncertainty in her voice and looks down at a pebble sitting on the dock.

“C’mon, do you wanna see your outfit this year? Mom’s waiting for us.” Eddie stands up and pulls Sofia up with him grabbing both her hands. They begin walking back to the house hand in hand, Sofia still sniffling a little.

“Oh, you found her! Good!” Helena says, she claps and rubs her hands together, “Follow me come on, Adriana is like bouncing off the walls in there.”

“Oh my god! It took you guys forever to get here! I’m so excited!” Adriana says, still basically vibrating. She’s sitting on the bed and swinging her feet.

“Seriously Adri…” Sofia scoffs, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes.

“What? Can I not be excited for today?”

“no. you can't.” Sofia snaps back at her.

“Why not?”

“Because! People are going to die! There’s a chance that you’ll be taken away forever and never come back! There’s a chance that Eddie, most likely Eddie will be reaped and never come back! Theres a chance-“

“Enough!” Helena yells.

Eddie’s been standing there awkward watching the whole thing go down. This is going to ruin the rest of their day, no one is going to be happy.

But then again, it's not the day to be happy.

“Yes, Sofia, you’re right this isn’t a day to enjoy, but we have to act respectful and calm. No matter what happens today.” She pinches the bridge of her nose and shakes her head, “And I doubt that any of you are going to be getting your names pulled”

Helena claps her hands together and opens up the dresser and pulls out the first outfit.

It’s a white and teal dress, the skirt is an off-white color, the top of the dress has ruffled sleeves that are a slightly different teal color. Definitely one of Helena’s improv moments. There is a light pink ribbon connected to the top of the chest. And one wrapped around the waist where the teal and the white connect. It's cute.

“This one,” Helena starts to say, while holding up the dress, brushing out the wrinkles, “Is for you, Adriana.”

Adriana gasps and hops off the bed, grabbing the dress from their mother’s hands and admires it. A huge grin on her face, spreading from ear to ear.

“Wow! I love it, Thank you mama.” She looks up at Helena still with that massive infectious smile.

Eddie can’t help himself but to smile back at the sight. It may be reaping day, but bad days have good moments all the time.

“Yeah, it's cute Adri” Sofia says, still bitter about the argument that they’d just had.

“Okay, now for yours Sofia.” Helena says digging into a drawer trying to look for the right outfit.

“Ah! Here it is.” She exclaims bringing out the S in is.

Their mother brings up the dress from the drawer and holds up a tan dress at the top, with blue down at the skirt, it's an attempt at a gradient, it's cute. It looks like a wave crashing onto a beach. But minus all the white. The dress also has white buttons sewn onto the front, and ruffled sleeves like Adriana’s dress.

Sofia coos at the dress and goes to grab it from her mother. Eyes wide in awe. She clearly loves it; it makes Eddie’s smile even bigger.

If good moments like these keep happening, then maybe there’s hope for today. He starts to think about Buck again, what they’ll probably do after the reaping.

Sofia and Adriana are distracted by their own dresses, wiping their hands down the fabric, looking closer at the details. He’s looking at them so fascinated by the small things. He really hopes that that curiosity stays with them, no matter what happens, no matter what bad things they see, or what terrible things happen to them, he hopes they stay good.

“Ma, what about Eddie’s?” Sofia asks.

“I’m finding it, it's around here somewhere…” she pauses and is digging through different drawers and, “Ah! Here it is!” Helena lifts up the pants first, then grabs the shirt, they’re all bunches up so Eddie can’t see it very well.

Helena walks over to the side of the bed to lay out the outfit, making it easier to see.

“What do you think Edmundo?”

“I think this one is your best yet mama, thank you.” Eddie kisses his mom on the cheek and goes to touch the fabric of the shirt.

The outfit has dark blue pants, light blue and yellow stitching along the seams, small light blue buttons on the corners of the back pockets, and a wave shape stitched onto the back pockets.

The shirt is a white button down, with light blue buttons and sky-blue stitching along the seams. There is a tiger shark sewn on the chest, right where his heart would be. The button down also has a light red gradient going up the sleeves.

“Oh! I forgot something!” Helena says before going into her nightstand.

“Here.” She hands him two golden pins, one is a dolphin jumping out of the water, with a circled rim around it.

The second one is similar, but it's a tiger shark.

“I found these in the market, a lady was selling them for cheap, so I thought I’d grab a couple for you.” She takes the pins from his hands, “I was thinking you could where one here on the collar, then you could wear another on your waistband.” Helena puts the pins where she think’s they’d fit.

“I agree, I love it ma, thank you.” Eddie repeats and wraps one arm around her shoulder giving her a side hug.

“Okay, I want to see your clothes on all of you, now go, go!” Helena exclaims, clapping her hands together.

Eddie’s of course fits like a glove, he loves the pins, though he does think that the dolphin is a little off on the collar. He readjusts on different places, but nowhere really fits. He decides to just give in and wear it on the collar, because what does he know about fashion?

Adriana and Sofia’s dresses look amazing on them. Eddie compliments them and kisses them both on the cheek before they sit down all together in the living room, in silence.

Well, until Ramon breaks it.

“Eddie, have you given any more thought about volunteering? I know you can do it son, it's your last opportunity, and you’re skilled enough to win.”

Eddie scratches the back of his neck on the edge of his hairline, “Uhm- I-I mean yeah, I uh I have.” He coughs and sits up more, his elbows resting on his thighs.

“And son? Are you going to do it? You know what it’ll mean if you win. For us, for this family.”

“That is if I win dad,” Eddie coughs, “If I win, and that is a big if- it will be good for this family. But I talked it over with Buck and he thinks that I shouldn’t volunteer.”

“Edmundo-“ Ramon starts.

“No, dad. I know that it’s my last year to do this, but what if I don’t want to? What if I don’t want to lose my life and leave my sisters,” he starts to laugh as he continues, “mom, you, Buck, my friends?! Just for some money, that I might not even get, or just- just for a little bit of “honor”? it’s not worth it to me dad.” Eddie snaps at his father, hands clasped together so hard his knuckles are turning white.

The entire room was stunned to silence.

“Yeah, but you’re skilled Edmundo! I’ve seen you training, you beat all of your peers.” Ramon sighs, “You need to do this for us.” Ramon demands.

“No.”

“Eddie!” Helena yells as she stands up from her seat on the couch.

“What mom?” Eddie yells back, he bangs his forehead on his clasped hands and looks up at her.

“Do not disrespect me and your father like this Eddie-“ Helena begins to shout even louder than last time.

Adriana and Sofia have left the room, Eddie isn’t sure when, but their absence is known when he tries to look at them for help and find their seat empty.

Cowards.

“You know better than to yell at us.” Ramon cuts in pointing a finger close in Eddie’s face. He can see nothing but anger in his father’s face.

“After everything we’ve risked getting you and your sisters what you have, after I work my ass of every single day! You can’t do one thing for your family.” Ramon is fuming, Eddie swears he could see steam coming out of his ears.

“No. I won’t. I’m not doing it dad! I’m not volunteering myself for a glamified execution. Because I don’t wanna die and leave everyone behind!” Eddie points to his chest. “This is my life! And it's my choice. I’m not doing it. You’re just going to have to accept that reality.” Eddie and his father are all up in each other’s faces and Helena is just standing there with her arms crossed, watching them, doing nothing to intercept.

“I’m sorry that you care more about honor and money rather than your own son's life.” Eddie snaps at him again.

Before he even registers what happened, his face is burning, Helena gasps and her hands are covering her mouth.

He slapped him.

Ramon grabs the hair on the back of Eddie’s head to make him look at him from where his head was knocked from the force of the slap.

“Don’t you ever. Disrespect me and this family like that again Edmundo.”

Ramon lets go and pushes Eddie backwards and storms off to another room slamming the door behind him. Eddie swears he heard his mother flinch as the slammed door.

Eddie doesn’t know what to do. He wants to cry, he wants to go be alone in his room, he wants Buck, he wants Buck to hold him. But instead, he’s trying to hold himself together, keeping his tears at bay because he wants to cry, he wants to fall apart and not worry about being a man. But no, “you need to act like a man Edmundo, real men don’t cry, you’re grown enough to know that” He can hear his father’s words echo in his head.

God he really wants Buck right now. He wants the safety of his arms wrapped around him. He wants the safety of not being judged for crying or having emotions.

“Eddie I-“ Helena tries.

“No.” Eddie rasps out, voice cracking, he holds out a hand to stop her from saying anything else.

She walks out of the room in the direction that Ramon went.

He just stands there head still tilted to the side. He’s chewing the inside of his lip trying to distract himself form the sting lingering on the side of his face.

He stands there for a few more seconds and then walks out of the house to his yard.

He paces for a few minutes before he can’t take it anymore and goes to the dock and sits behind the pile of crates where it's mostly out of sight. The same ones that Sofia was crying behind for what felt like just minutes ago.

He breaks down.

Here we go.

Buck’s last ever reaping. It almost seems surreal, like this is the last time he will ever have to worry about the games. Actually, no that’s not true. He will always worry about the future kids going into the games. Because no matter what age he is, whether he is at risk for getting into the games or not, there will always be one, every single year, and people getting killed and forgotten about.

At least that’s what it seems like.

He is waiting in like to get his blood taken, it’s not a very big deal. He’s had to do it every other year like everyone else. but where’s Eddie? Eddie is always here next to him by now.

Buck is scanning the crowd for him; he still doesn’t see him anywhere.

Where is he?

He feels a hand on his shoulder and jumps.

“Jeez Eddie!” Buck yells when he turns to see Eddie, laughing at him now.

“Sorry” he replies through a laugh.

Buck starts to laugh with him. what can he say? Eddie’s smile and laughter is contagious to him. He loves seeing him smiling.

But somethings off, and it's not just the possibility that they could be taken away to die soon. His face is a little puffy and his eyes are red.

“Eds did something happen?”

Eddie grabs the back of his neck and looks down at Bucks lips before meeting his eyes again, “I mean no not really, it's not important Buck.”

“You sure?” Buck replies in a soft tone, almost a whisper.

“I- I mean eh- but we have bigger problems to worry about today rather than what happened, okay?” he tries to deflect.

“So, something did happen?”

“I mean, yeah kind of.”

“Eds-“

He gets cut off by the peacekeeper. “Next!”

When buck is done, he waits for Eddie, then they find a spot off to the side to talk before they have to get to their spots.

“Your outfit is amazing this year babe; Helena really did her best work.” Buck says while putting his hands over the fabric of Eddie’s shirt, moving his hands from Eddie’s chest to the tiger shark down to the sleeves where it starts turning red.

Eddie smiles and looks down at Buck’s hands then back up to meet his blue eyes that he just seems to love so much.

“Yours too, we’re kinda matching.” Eddie chuckles and drags his hand down the dolphin stitched onto Buck’s outfit.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Hey this is neat.” Buck goes to touch the dolphin pin on Eddie’s collar.

“Yeah, I have another one on my waistband,” Eddie pulls his shirt up a little to reveal it. “Mom said she got them for cheap, and you know her when she finds little trinkets to collect.”

Buck just laughs a little at that.

“Here,” Eddie fiddles with the gold dolphin pin and grabs Buck’s hand and places it in his palm, then closing Buck’s fingers around it. “For good luck.”

“Eds, you really don’t have to. I thought you didn’t believe in good luck charms.” Buck opens his hand to try and hand it back.

“No, I really do, then we can match a little more. I’ll have my shark, you’ll have your dolphin, a little piece of me, if you will.”

“y’know I could kiss you right now.” Buck says to him smirking. And he really means it because he just wants to take that man to their little hideaway beach and kiss him till he can’t anymore.

“Well, after the reaping you can, all you want at the beach.” Eddie promises winking at him.

“That is if one of us doesn’t get reaped today.” Buck deadpans.

“Buck- Don’t say that we’re going to be okay, and before you know it, we’ll be back at the beach.” Eddie tells him, rubbing his hands down Bucks arms.

“y-yeah. Okay, we are, we’re going to be fine.” Buck tries to reassure himself, but also Eddie.

“c’mon, let’s go.” Eddie puts his hand on Buck’s shoulder and rubs his thumb in circles before moving his hand to his back, leading them to the crowd of district 4’s children.

They’re standing next to each other, occasionally rubbing each other’s hands, or touching pinkies. Small comforts. They play that stupid propaganda video that makes Buck want to bash in his own skull because of how old and annoying it is.

Hearing the president’s voice blasting through the speakers, occasionally cracking and breaking out a little. Seeing those staged clips that are probably over 100 years old by now.

The mayor begins his usual speech, nothing special, just fake, and dry like every other year. Then will be followed by the same district escort, Carla, a very enthusiastic woman. To Buck she seems like a nice lady, probably gives great hugs.

But there’s always that snap back to reality, that she’s capitol, that she was brainwashed to love the games, that it's necessary, and a fun occasion.

It never will be, and it never was.

It's inhumane, cruel, old, exhausting, and so much more.

Buck could think of so many more words to describe it, and every single one would be hateful and negative. He can’t think of a single positive outcome for the hunger games, not a thing.

Buck reaches out a few inches to interlock one of fingers to Eddie’s, it grounds him, helps ease his anxiety.

The drawing of names is getting closer after all. God, his name is in there more times than he would like. Definitely not a comfortable amount.

He snaps back into what’s happening when Carla taps on the mic.

“Welcome, everybody!” She claps her hands together and smiles, taking in the crowd of scared children and worried parents and people.

“Welcome to the 118^th annual hunger games! Oh, it is just lovely to be here today! Now l-“ The microphone cuts off; it takes Carla a second to notice before she tries tapping it again.

Buck lets out a small chuckle and looks over at Eddie. He is sharing a similar grin.

It’s another few minutes till the problem gets fixed.

“Well, let’s start over, shall we? Welcome all, to the 118^th annual hunger games! Oh, I’m so glad to be here, anyone else?” Carla rubs her hands together and looks around for a moment, silence, nothing, no reaction whatsoever from anyone. Just a few coughs and a sneeze.

“Okay then! Let’s continue on? Shall we?” Carla exaggerates with far too much excitement for announcing two innocent children to die.

Though Buck will admit they have higher chances compared to the other districts because they don’t have the option of getting trained like they do.

Carla goes over the bowl, during the 100^th games they decided that they wanted to have every name in one bowl, so if that means there’s two boys or two girls, so be it.

Buck’s heart is pounding in his chest, his pulse skyrocketing. He’s trying and nearly failing to keep his breathing steady. He fully grabs Eddie’s hand, squeezing it tightly. It grounds him. It does the same for Eddie, they both need this.

Eddie is beyond worried about Adriana and Sofia, they can’t be together, he just hopes that they are near someone they know, or people that can help look after them when he’s too far away.

They’re so little, they shouldn’t have to worry about big things like this, they can barely grasp the concept of the games in general.

“And our very first tribute for the 118^th annual hunger games is…” Carla begins to announce.

Everyone is nervous, everyone is scared. But they both just squeeze their hands together tighter. Buck is looking down, slightly panicking, it's like he’s inhaling smoke, not getting enough air, he’s trapped in a fire unable to escape.

“Sofia Diaz!”

What?

No.

It can’t be her.

Buck flashes his head over to Eddie, and feels Eddie’s hand in his, go limp, not quite letting go, but the pressure is gone. Buck can only describe the look on his face as absolute shock and terror.

“n-no…” He can hear Eddie mumble under his breath, if they weren’t standing so close he wouldn’t have heard him at all.

The massive screens show Sofia walking up the stage and slowly stumbling her way up, she brushes her hands down her hair, trying to make it appear a little neater. Poor girl, she looks terrified. He can see the tears welling up in her eyes that she’s trying not to let go of.

Buck nudges Eddie to try and make him look at him, he grabs the top of his shoulder and starts to run his hand down his arm and begins to whisper, “Eds, I’m-“ Before he even registers what’s going on he hears a familiar voice saying words that he can’t begin to fathom.

“I volunteer!”

No.

No. no. no, no, no. nonono.

Not Eddie, he can’t.

He can’t go.

Sure, he has a good chance of winning because he’s skilled in nearly every course that was offered for training, but just- no.

What?

It can’t be him.

It just can’t.

“Eddie.” He mumbles under his breath, his hand still reaching out a little from when Eddie let go. That smoke just got thicker, and all the air is gone.

He would have savored the feeling if he knew the feeling of his hand in his would be gone so soon. He might never feel that again. He might never feel his hands in his, or feel his arms wrapped around him, or feel his hair underneath his hands, or their bodies pressed together, or the salty taste of his lips after they’ve been in the ocean.

“A volunteer, already!” Carla says surprised, “So eager! You know we usually save volunteers for the end.”

“I don’t care.” Eddie tells her sternly, beelining right for the stage where Sofia is running up to him.

She engulfs him in a hug as he bends down to her level, tears starting to pour out of her face.

“Eddie no! Why’d you do that?!” She yells at him banging his chest and sobbing into it, trying to pull him closer all at once.

He’d do anything to make sure that she was safe. Absolutely anything. From the day she was born he knew what his job was, to protect his little sister. And now he doesn’t just have to protect her.

He has to win for her.

Ramon really got what he wanted. His son to volunteer for the games.

“Shhh, Sofia, it’s gonna be okay, now go find mom and dad.” He begins to stand up and he can see peacekeepers rushing towards them, ready to separate the two anyways.

“No! No! Eddie, I’m not letting you go! Please! No!” A peacekeeper is grabbing her off of him.

She’s screaming and slashing around, but it's better she is angry and sad than dead.

He looks back and watches her go for a second, before finding Buck’s face in the crowd, He hates what he’s doing to him. He hates that look on his face, that one full of pain.

But he has to do this for his sister.

It’s his sister, his to protect, his responsibility.

So, he continues to walk up toward that stage and walk up those stairs, right next to Carla. Barely holding himself together. He’s walking right off a cliff to his death, but he’s not there yet, he still has to climb up those stairs to reach the top before falling.

He can’t let them see him be weak, he has to be strong now. He has to keep everyone safe, and now most importantly, he has to win.

For Sofia, for his father, mother, and for Buck.

He has to win to get his life back, to keep them.

“Hello dear, and who might you be? Her big brother I presume?” Carla asks clearly intrigued at the drama.

“Yeah, my name is Eddie, Eddie Diaz.” He replies, standing there awkwardly, trying not a falter or crack, it's taking every ounce of his body not to scream and yell at how stupid and unfair this game is.

But yet again, he can’t, he volunteered.

“Well, that is very inspiring of you Eddie.” Carla replies to him before continuing, now speaking directly to the audience, “Now everyone, may I introduce you to this years, first official tribute of the 118^th annual hunger games! Eddie Diaz, everyone!” Carla waves her hands around a little in Eddie’s general direction.

Silence.

Not a single soul speaks up, claps, or makes any noise whatsoever. If you listen closely, you could hear the waves crashing together in the distance at a nearby beach.

It's either the blood rushing in his ears or he really can hear those waves. Those waves that he should have been sitting directly in front of, with Buck in his arms, he should be there, tonight.

He so desperately wanted to be there. But he was more desperate to save his sister.

He wanted to be at their beach, celebrating their last reaping and that they’ll never have to worry about it again, but mourning the loss of those who did get reaped. they both should be there. But Eddie is standing up here, on this stupid stage, basically volunteering himself to be mercilessly killed in an arena, and to be forgotten about.

 Buck feels like his entire world is shattered. Eddie’s probably going to die in there. He’s going to be alone and terrified, trying to keep on a good profile for the cameras.

Buck doesn’t want Eddie to be alone.

He doesn’t want some random person to be his district partner; to betray him the second they get the chance to. To get a chance to kill him in his sleep in the arena or throw a spear through his chest.

His brain is still racing a hundred miles a minute when he hears Carla announce the second tribute.

It’s another 18-year-old. He was standing 2 rows behind from where him and Eddie were standing just a couple minutes ago, well Buck is still standing there.

This guy is even bigger than Eddie. He recognized him, he’s one of the richer people in the district. probably got more private and formal training than he and Eddie got. He has black hair, tall, broad shoulders, and has this smug look on his face that just doesn’t sit well with Buck.

He would bet the last dollar to his name that this guy doesn’t care about anyone but himself, and that he would do anything to win.

It's like someone had just splashed ice cold water on his face.

Buck can’t let him win. He never wants him to have any chance at winning. Because Eddie deserves that chance, to come back home and be with his family. He’s in an ocean drowning, like he’s forgotten how to swim.

He does the only logical thing that he can think of to not drown.

“I volunteer!”

Chapter Text

What a nightmare.

What an absolute nightmare.

Maddie doesn’t want to lose another brother. She can’t, first Daniel, now Buck? Even on top of that Eddie as well? She didn’t know Eddie as well as she could have, but she knew his was a good person, and her little brother’s best friend.

She knew that Buck and Eddie were close, whenever she couldn’t be there, she always knew that he had Eddie. Whenever Maddie was working, or if she was out with her friends, she always knew he had Eddie.

She just wishes she would have gotten to know him better.

But maybe it isn’t so bad? Maybe she’s a little thankful she never knew him that well. It’ll hurt less when he dies. Because Buck has to come home.

She’d never want anyone to die, but if that means that her little brother doesn’t, then so be it.

What would she do if Eddie were the one to come home and not Buck?

Maybe she’d kill Eddie with her own hands if he let Buck die in that arena.

Maybe she’d take him out on their family's boat and stab him with a spear when he’s not looking, let him try and help himself, then push him off the edge, let him drown.

Watch as the bubbles stop forming on the surface, watch as his lifeless body sinks to the ground.

What? No. no, no. She can’t think like that, they’re not in the arena yet. Maybe they’ll both get out? There’s hope for that right? Two people have done it, from district 12? Right?

Yeah, what were their names?

Katniss and Peeta, yeah. If they can do it, so can they. There has to be some way they both can make it out. Right?

But then again, there’s probably a lot of ways the Game makers have made sure to keep that from happening again.

Buck always talked about how horrible the games were. He always said that they were unethical. why would he volunteer himself for a death sentence? (Like he always said it was)

“Mom, dad…” Maddie chokes out, turning around to look at them with horror etched across her face.

Maddie could see the tears welling in her parent’s faces, she could feel her own, ready to spill at any moment.

“I- he- he actually did it…” Philip breathed out smirking a little, shocked at the fact. He has tried to encourage and make Buck volunteer before. he lost hope for him actually doing it after he kept pushing back, over and over again.

It was always ‘No, dad, I’m not doing it. I don’t want to take innocent people’s lives for some money. Are you insane?! Why would you even suggest that? What are you gonna do if I don’t make it out though, huh?’

What is he gonna do if Buck doesn’t make it out alive? What will become of their family?

Will they all just become shells of who they once were? Even though Buck may have been a sassy teenager, he still brought a lot of life and smiles back into their home after a long day.

He always knew how to bring some sort of joy back into their house, even if it was an exhausting day.

But oh…. The money he would bring back if he won. They’d never have to work again a day in their lives. There little fishing business is struggling right now; they used to bring in a decent income from the trade.

They had a business deal with the Diaz family; it worked fairly well. The two families, well mostly just the parents were exceptionally close.

Buck and Eddie were always around each other, like two peas in a pod.

The young Diaz girls were much too young for Maddie’s liking, but she’d babysit them from time to time. They were so sweet and very well mannered.

Though she still never really got to know Eddie all that well.

That chance is long gone by now. But how would those two be in the games together play out? Buck would never kill Eddie. Right?

“I thought he wasn’t going to, he- he always said that… that he would never willingly go into the games.” Maddie muttered out.

“Yeah… he was so… so insistent on it… I- I just quit asking after a while…” Philip murmured, that smile more prominent now. Philip just scoffs in disbelief, “I’m so proud of him for doing that.”

“What?” Maddie raises her voice pushing her father farther away from her.

“Maddie, he could win us a lot of money!”

“From killing innocent people, from killing the Diaz’s son?! Do you not realize how bad this could be for our-“ Maddie is fuming, how could her own father by happy about his only son left just going into that arena to possibly die.

“Whatever I can’t- I just can’t right now.”

She is still trying to wrap her head around the fact Buck volunteered. Could it have been Eddie? Volunteering because he did? No, that didn’t seem right. If Eddie just went in, it meant he had a chance out.

 to come back.

 But if Buck went in too, only one would come out.

Maddie can’t breathe, she’s started hyperventilating, her hands are shaking, she’s trying not to be loud. Hold it in, it’ll be okay, it’ll be okay, this is just some crazy nightmare.

She needs to wake up.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Waking up isn’t an option.

She is awake, this is reality.

Buck had just volunteered for the Hunger Games.

She’s likely going to lose another brother.

Another brother to bury, right next to the other one. Another brother lost way to soon.

Maddie grabs ahold of her mother, burying her head into her shoulder, all they both can do is just grab onto each other tighter and pray, pray that Buck is the one to make it out alive.

Margret couldn’t handle losing another child. Daniel was a helpless accident; Buck’s would be a tragedy.

Daniel was just a little kid; it was his first time that Philip let him out on the water. Daneil was just a curious 8-year-old who still hadn’t learned to swim. It was just a bad parenting mistake on their part.

Who doesn’t teach a child how to swim before they turn 8 in district 4?

The tide was starting to come in, the waves were bigger than expected and he was just a scrawny little kid with no balance. So, self-preservation skills.

The boat was rocking a lot more than usual; the weather conditions may not have been the safest that day. But they were desperate.

He still fell in when his father was trying to make sure that the fish they’d caught that day didn’t fall into the water.

Just a days’ worth of income saved, in return, Daniel’s life was taken by the water.

The tides seem so predictable, but sometimes they surprise you and take away your brother.

Her head is starting to hurt, she can’t tell if it's from the annoying escort still talking with that overdramatic, high pitched, squeaky, overly enthusiastic capitol voice, the speakers cracking, or if it's her sobs.

It’s probably both.

She didn’t even hear what the woman was saying from the stage, she missed it.

She would ask her parents, but I don’t think they want to think about it anymore than she does.

She wants to be alone, as much as she loves getting comfort from her parents… it's an absent comfort. The far away looks in their eyes that look all too familiar. The same looks that they had when Daniel passed away. She guesses that the absent look never fully went away, it just eased a little over time, or maybe she just got used to that normal.

This one seems a little different.

But Buck isn’t dead yet, he still has a chance, he could still come home.

She wants to go home and cry alone in her bed, she wants a comforting presence. Not her parents, but someone. Someone she doesn’t even have. She just wants to know if there could be any way to keep Buck alive.

To get him home.

Peacekeepers are coming their way, so being alone right now would have to wait.

It’s time to say goodbye.

****

Several minutes prior | Eddie

What in the absolute hell is buck doing? Why in the hell would he volunteer himself?

Buck would never have been the one to volunteer, not in a million years.

He always talked about how terrible the games were, now here he is, walking into them willingly. Like a total dumbass.

Eddie can’t even begin to think about how stupid and impulsive Buck is right now, yelling and holding a hand up, walking up here instead of that other big guy that Eddie can’t even remember the name of.

Wait- the other big guy that was going to walk up onto this stage with Eddie and have to shake his hand, but instead, now he’s gonna have to shake Buck’s hand.

Did Buck think that guy was a threat? Did Buck even notice him at all?

Eddie is just standing up there on that stage next to Carla, in front of the mayor of district 4, and the two mentors he supposes will be mentoring both him and Buck now.

He watches Buck walk up to the stage and when he gets close enough Eddie grabs his shoulder and leans in so he can whisper into his ear, “You shouldn’t be here doing this.”

Buck grabs Eddie’s hand on his shoulder, gives it a tight, but brief squeeze, “I couldn’t let you go alone, I knew you had no chance once that guy was called up here. We’ll talk about this later.” 

“Buck!” Eddie whisper shouts as Buck walks to the other side of the stage, slapping his hands onto his sides before running one hand through his hair and looking forward, more at the structures and nature in the distance rather than the audience.

At least Eddie was right about the other guy. He was a threat. he won’t be the last threat he’ll encounter, no. they will encounter.

Because they’re in this together now.

“Well, well,” Carla says overenthusiastically, “another eager volunteer! You guys do know that we have a special time put in for volunteers, right?”

Buck just gives a little laugh and a smile at her. Eddie just side eyes her and gives her a ‘yeah no shit’ kinda look.

“So, who might you be? Not another worried sibling I presume?”

“Uh- no. definitely not, well, I mean I am a sibling but- never mind.”

“My name is Evan Buckley.”

“Everyone, meet our final tribute for district 4, Evan Buckley!” She says grabbing buck’s wrist to hold his hand up.

Buck faintly smiles in embarrassment and ducks his head. Then looks over at Eddie.

Oh, he knows he fucked up.

They both did.

--

Buck and Eddie are taken backstage then separated almost immediately; they don’t have an opportunity to talk like they want to.

But they will eventually, right? yeah, they’ll have to have some kind of time to talk alone, or decently alone.

For now, though, they’re taken to separate rooms where they are left alone, waiting. What is he waiting for?

He’s sitting on this much to fancy couch, that just feels wrong to even be looking at, let alone sitting on. His elbows are resting on his thighs and he’s rubbing his hands together picking at his thumb on his left hand, also tapping one of his feet.

He really wants to go run a lap around the building, or up and down the halls right now, or maybe just jump into a body of water and start swimming laps. Really anything to keep moving.

His hands itch, there’s a pressure on them that he just can’t seem to go away. Maybe it's his raging anxiety about this whole situation right now.

Just crashing over him like a giant wave.

What did he just do?

Did that really just happen?

It almost feels like he’s dreaming or just having a really bad dream.

Is he going to be punished for volunteering before the scheduled opportunity? Is he going to get reprimanded for disrupting the reaping? If he is, would Eddie as well?

The door creeks open loudly, buck snaps his head up to see his family walking in.

Maddie is the first one in the room, she rushes to him and wraps her arms around his neck pulling him in for the tightest hug.

“Mads- Mads- I can't breathe.”

Maddie pulls back a little and puts her hands on either side of his face, “Now why the hell would you do that Evan!” She smacks him on the arm.

“I’m sorry, I had to.”

She’s started to cry again. Buck hates that he’s making her cry, but it's for the best, he had to give Eddie a chance to come home. He has so much more to live for than he does.

Eddie has his little sisters, he has parents who care, his family’s business is booming, he has opportunities.

Eddie and Maddie are all Buck really has. His parents don’t really care, he’s a nuisance to their lives, all he does is disappoint them no matter what he does or tries to do.

Maddie and Eddie, and he can’t lose Eddie. He needs to do everything in his power to make sure that he makes it home, if it means that he dies, then so be it.

“But why Buck?” Maddie hugs him again sobbing into his shoulder making his shirt all wet. And his parents are just… standing there. Watching.

“I had to. Dad wanted me to volunteer, and Eddie needs a chance to come home, I can give him that.”

“What?” Philip scoffs from behind Maddie. They will say something, wow.

“No, you’re going to come home because you’re going to win.” Philip starts.

“That means that Eddie won’t.”

“Then so be it!” Margret yells.

“No, no, you guys don’t get it. Eddie needs to come home and I’m going to do my best to give him that chance!” Buck snaps back at them, standing up.

“But that means that you won’t be coming home Evan!” Margret begins, “If you die in there, we don’t get anything but another child to morn.”

“We don’t want to send you in there if you’re not going to come back and bring us anything.” Philip adds, crossing his arms with that disappointed look in his eyes that Buck knows all too well.

“So that’s it? All I’m good for is to kill people and bring you money?” Buck scoffs, “You just care about yourselves.”

“You can leave.” Buck turns around to look at one of the paintings hanging on the wall.

It’s actually beautiful, it reminds him of when he was 13. He had just gotten into a fight with his parents because they caught him sneaking away from training to go hang out with his friends. All he remembers is going outside and sitting on a bench he found on the outsides of town. He has no idea how Maddie found him there.

She told him that their parents were angry at him, but they just do that because they care about him and want him to be prepared, that they loved him.

He told her that he wasn’t ready to go home yet, so she stayed with him, she hugged him close and let him rest his head on her arm. They sat there in silence and watched the sun begin to go down.

It’s one of Buck’s favorite memories of his big sister. He hates to be leaving her like this, to mourn the loss of another brother. But he doesn’t have a choice anymore, it's already been made. It's too late.

“Mads,” buck starts, rubbing his hand down his face, “Can you please stay?”

“Always, little brother.” Maddie glances back over at their dumbfounded parents and takes a few steps toward Buck and rests her hand on his shoulder. Rubbing circles with her thumb.

They don’t say anything until they hear the door click behind them.

“I’m sorry I’m leaving you.” He looks down at his feet.

Now it's really hitting him, he’s not coming home, he’s never going to see her again, he’s never going to see District 4 after he gets on that train. It's just going to be a mere memory. A memory that will die with him.

“It's okay little brother I-I forgive you.” She whispers, tears streaming down her face.

“You really love him, don’t you?” She asks looking up at Buck’s face, watching as he gets this shocked look in his eyes. Like he’d been caught.

Well, he had been, but then those blue eyes soften as he ducks his head down and nods a little, tears coming down his face like rainfall at this point.

“Yeah mads, I really do.”

“I just panicked when he volunteered himself, I- I couldn’t stand of the thought of him going alone.” He sniffs and looks back at her, “You and him are the only people I really have. The only people who really care about me.”

“Evan…”

“It’s true, you know it, and I definitely understand that I do.”

“Eddie has people who love him, he has more to live for than me.”

“Evan, what about me? Am I going to have to wait here and watch you die? Wait until they bring your body back from the arena and bury you next to Daniel?” She grabs onto him again, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso.

When did he get taller than her? When did he grow up? When did he stop being that skinny little boy who loved sneaking out and getting into trouble? The kid who loved jumping off of rocks into the water. The little kid who would always throw sand at her because she didn’t want to go into the water with him?

“I’m sorry mads, I’m sorry.”

“Damn right! You should be sorry for putting me through this.” She beats a fist into his chest and sobs harder.

“I know… I know.” He grabs her wrist and just holds it up to his heart.

“It’ll be okay mads, it'll all be okay I swear, you’ll be fine.”

“How do you know? I’m supposed to be comforting you, that’s always been my job.”

“I just do mads, and I know it is. You were always so good at it.” He rests his chin on her head for a moment.

Maddie sniffs and clears her throat a little, “Uhm, I actually talked to Helena a while before the reaping, we wanted to surprise you and Eddie for your last reaping and we kinda sort of made your outfits matching. We’d hoped you guys would notice.”

“Really? That- that’s so…” Buck takes a deep breath to compose himself, “we did actually notice, Eddie even gave me this,” He pulls his shirt up a little to reveal that little dolphin pin on his waistband.

“Awee… he gave it to you?”

“Yeah, and mads, you have to know that I appreciate you, and- and tell Helena that I appreciate her too.” He clears his throat and wipes a tear rolling down his face, “Please tell her girls to take care of themselves as well for me?”

“Absolutely.”

“But hey… Maddie,” Buck starts, pausing for a moment.

 “I want you to live for me, I want you to do something crazy because you know I’d love it. I want you to take a risk, and I want you to have a happy life.”

“Okay… Okay… I will Evan, I will.”

She holds out her pinky to his, and he finished the promise, “but I want one more thing from you, okay? If there is any chance for you to come home, I want you to do your best to try, I want you to fight to come home.”

“Okay.” He whispers and nods his head, looking at her, before pulling her in for a hug one last time.

They stay like that for 3 minutes in silence before the peacekeepers enter the room.

“No, no, not yet! Please, just five more minutes!” Maddie yells as they yank her off of him and begin to pull her out of the room.

“I love you, Evan! I love you!” She shouts as they drag her out of the room.

“I love you too-“ He tries to shout back, but was cut off by the door slamming shut, and Maddie is gone.

The silence is deafening, his ears are ringing, his heart is pounding, he can’t breathe.

He holds his hands up to his eyes rubbing his palms into them, before sitting down on that overly expensive sofa that he definitely doesn’t want to know the price of. He just drops his head into his hands and begins to cry; his world is over.

Does he really want to do this?

It’s too late. He has to.

***

Earlier | Eddie

Eddie is confused on what is happening, he was ripped away from buck and put in a strange room with some seriously high-quality looking décor and furniture.

He walks around the room, he places a hand over the arm of the sofa before walking towards a bookshelf in a corner, the detail is amazing, all the swirly patterns on the wood. He walks over to a wall filled with paintings of all kinds of sizes and shapes, each one different and unique.

They remind him of his mother and his sisters. They’re all such creative souls. He’s going to miss them once he’s gone. Theres little chance that he’s actually going to make it out alive. Especially if Buck isn’t coming out with him.

His gaze is still glued to the paintings when his eyes land on one that’s oddly familiar.

It's their beach. It has to be. It's a little oval painting with the same trees that he’s seen a million times; with the same dock he’s jumped off of just as many.

This feels like some insane coma dream. On that dock he can see two figures sitting close to one another, one of their heads resting on the other’s shoulder, watching the sunset.

It’s gorgeous. Truly gorgeous. But it's their beach. Or something close.

In his head, he thinks it's a painting of him and Buck, at least in his head that’s what he tells himself. They’re just like us. Hiding from the real world, sneaking moments of real understanding and security, sneaking kisses when no one is looking.

Being happy in secret.

Will him and Buck have to fake it in the capitol too? Will they be spending their last few weeks still hiding from the world?

He hopes not.

He’s still stuck in a trance staring at that photo, hands touching the beautiful golden frame when the door opens and his family rushes into the room.

“Eddie!” Sofia shouts running up behind him grabbing onto his waist, Adriana not far in suit.

“Hey you two.” She says fondly, turning around and kneeling in front of them giving them both even bigger hugs.

“We’re proud of you Eddie.” Helena says walking up to her son and giving him another much-needed hug.

“I only did it for Sofia. She needed me to do it.”

“I know Eddie.”  She runs a hand through his hair trying to fix it before she takes both of her hands and rubs them up and down his shoulders.

“I’m just so proud of you for volunteering for your sister, you have no idea.” Helena isn’t really known for being an emotional woman, an angry one at times sure. But not the crying type. It’s surprising that she’s started to cry a little.

“Hey, mama, no, it's gonna be okay. I’m going to do my best to come home if I can.” He reassures.

“We know you can do it Edmundo, you’re strong and you’ve trained hard for this. Don’t hold back on anyone.” Ramon cuts in, totally emotionless except for that proud look at has made its way onto his face.

“I’m only going to kill someone if they’re going to try and kill me. I won't be hunting anyone down.” Eddie tells him.

“Edmundo-“ Ramon tries to start before being cut off by Adriana’s cries.

“Eddie, I don’t want you to go…”

“I don’t really want to either mija, but it was me or Sofia, so I had to make the choice to protect her.” He pulls Adriana into his side and kisses the top of her head.

“You’ll be okay Adri, I swear.” Eddie sniffs before looking up at Sofia.

She is shaking a little, barely holding it together. He can tell she’s trying not to cry and break down. She’s doing what he does. Bottle up hurt feelings.

“Sofia c’mere,” He demands, reaching his open arm out to her, “It’s okay to cry and be sad, it's okay to let it out… it's okay.”

“I- I didn’t want this. Eddie, I didn’t want this! You shouldn’t have done that! You shouldn’t have sacrificed yourself for me! You didn’t have to do that!” She’s yelling, barely breathing, sobbing into his shoulder.

“Yes, I did… I had to do it for you.” he whispers into her hair, rubbing a hand through her hair.

“I’d do anything for you and Adriana both… I need you two to know that. That I’d do anything for you. That I love you both so much. I’d trade the world for you two.”

“I’m sorry I’m leaving, but maybe it's only going to be temporary, let that be a few weeks, or longer, you’ll see me again someday… I promise you; we will meet again.”

“Oh, Eddie,” Helena starts, she’s started fully crying now, walking over to her children, giving all of them one big hug.

She looks over the top of her daughter's heads and onto Eddie’s face, “I’m so proud of you for being so brave, I wish you didn’t have to be sometimes.”

“Me too mama… Me too.” He whispers.

“I uhm… uh...” What was he gonna say? He just thought about that painting, then Buck, and now what he was gonna say is gone.

“What?”

“This room is super fancy.” Sofia cuts in with a sniff.

“Yeah, it really is,” Eddie lets go of everyone and wipes a hand over his face, clearing the tears from his eyes and looks behind him where the paintings are hung.

“I love this wall, all of the different pieces of art. When I uh first saw them, I thought of you guys. How the three of you are such creative people. How much you guys notice the little things, it's what I love about you.”

“Yeah, they’re beautiful mijo.” Helena says rubbing a hand down his back.

“I bet you haven’t had much time to look at them, but do you have a favorite?” Sofia asks, coming in next to Eddie, grabbing onto his hand.

“Yeah… I do.” He takes his free hand and points to the oval painting with the golden frame.

“It reminds me of simpler days, when they’d all just blend together. But also, the small moments that we take out of them.” He takes a step forward to touch the frame again, rubbing his thumb along the edge.

“That’s beautiful Edmundo.” His mother whispers.

Ramon has been awfully quiet back there; he’s barely said a thing to Eddie. It’s kind of odd.

“Dad, do you have anything else to say? Or are you just going to stand there and stare with your hands in your pockets?”

Ramon doesn’t say anything, but he just smiles at his son, like he had just hung the moon for him; given him everything he’s ever wanted.

He walks over to Eddie and just gives him the biggest hug and whispers into his ear, “I’m just so proud of you Edmundo, you have no idea.”

Ramon sniffs and Eddie lets go of his father and stands there kind of awkwardly putting his hands in his pockets, “I’m just doing it for Sofia, anything for my little sister.”

It is true, he would do anything for that girl, and Adriana too of course. The people he cares about most in this world right now, his sisters, Buck, and his parents. Hed walk through hell and back for them.

“Of course, you’re really a man now Edmundo.” Ramon pats Eddie’s shoulder.

“I thought I was a man when I turned 10.” Eddie deadpans.

“Well, that-“ Ramon gets cut off by Sofia’s continuing sobs.

Sofia’s started crying again, striding over to her older brother grabbing him and crying into his waist. This then made Adriana start crying again joining her sister.

“Shhh… guys it's gonna be okay… I’m gonna do my best to come home to you,” God, why is crying so contagious today? “I swear, I’m gonna do everything I can.”

“Why Eddie? Why you? Why us? Why did this have to happen to us?” Adriana chokes out in between sobs.

“I dunno mija, all I know is that we’ve gotta get through it.”

“If I don’t make it home, I don’t want you girls to be sad, I want you to know that I love you so much, that I’d do anything for you. That that’s why I- I volunteered. For you guys. I want you girls to be happy, to live your lives how you want to. For me.”

The peacekeepers walk into the room and lead Helena and Ramon out of the room first, “I love you, Edmundo! I love you so much!” Helena shouts as they take her out of the room.

“I love you too mama!” Eddie shouts back.

Ramon goes out of the room without a fight, without another goodbye, or another word, he just turns his back and walks out.

They try and take Sofia and Adriana off of Eddie next and they put up a fight, yelling and thrashing, trying their best not to let go.

“No, no! Eddie! No! Can we please get more time!” they yank off Adriana successfully first, then Sofia who puts up much more of a fight.

“Please stop! That’s my brother! He shouldn’t be here!” She hits a peacekeeper’s helmet, attempting at hurting them.

“Sofia, hey don’t fight, you have to go now.” Eddie says softly, trying to calm her down.

 “I want more time, Eddie! It shoulda been me! No please!”

“I love you!” She yells one more time before the doors shut behind her.

“I love you too.” He whispers after the doors are shut. Just a moment too late.

Damn.

He looks around the room, blank expression, his eyes land on that damn painting again.

He should be there.

But he’s not. He’s here in this fuckass room, where he just had to probably see his family for the very last time, waiting to get put on some train to go to the capitol and get all glammed up and used just to die.

He wants to punch someone, to smash every last luxury item in this beautifully painfully decorated room.

But he doesn’t.

He can’t.

He has to save that anger for the arena.

Chapter Text

Looking around there’s so much food, fancy cutlery and so many different spoons and forks that Buck could never tell you the difference of.

He was sitting next to Eddie on the train that they were eventually taken to. They’re sitting next to each other in separate chairs that seem impossibly comfortable, but he’d never admit that to anyone except maybe Eddie.

The train is overwhelming, the surrounding items that probably cost more than his life, the sad beauty of it is how many dead people have these items seen with its sparkling clean eyes? And are they about to see a couple more?

There’s a muted TV in front of them, playing some broadcast with two men talking about God knows what. Buck doesn’t know who they are and honestly, he doesn’t really care right now. He’s gonna be dead soon anyways, so might as well worry about what does matter.

Eddie.

Now that they’re on the train there is only one person that’s familiar to him that he cares about, Eddie. He’s sitting next to him, looking around, probably scoping out the place, seeing what’s around. Buck has two goals for the time being, spending as much time as he can with Eddie, because it's the last he’s probably ever going to get, and two, making sure that Eddie’s the one that gets out and not him.

The escort left to go “find their mentor” and he honestly forgot they get those. There’s been a few mentors that Buck has seen for the games. Some of them have died. A couple that were both victors, he remembers the man died after he got into a fight with the wrong people, and the woman shortly after, but he doesn’t remember how she died.

He was too young to really remember them though.

The mentor they have now won a while ago, not that they haven’t had victors since then, it's just they keep deciding to keep him around. I guess it's because he’s been the best they’ve had in a while.

“Buck,” Eddie starts in a mumble, “can we talk about it now?”

“Eddie, there’s not much to talk about.”

“Yes, there is Buck! You shouldn’t be here!”

“Yes, I should Eddie! I should. Because I’m not gonna let you go into the games alone and not come out.”

“If I come out of that arena, that would mean that you’re not going to, and honestly Buck, I cannot fucking handle that.” Eddie’s started rubbing his hands down his face, clearly pissed.

“Well, it's the only way that I could ensure that you’d get out.”

“To hell with that Buck! I didn’t need you to be my damn hero! I don’t think I can ever forgive you for this one! Your need to fix everything- when you can’t- it's exhausting.”

He immediately stops because he takes one look at the way Buck’s face drops, and he knows he royally fucked up.

Buck doesn’t even know what to think right now. He doesn’t think he can. He doesn’t care that Eddie didn’t want him to do that, he already knew the second he did it that Eddie didn’t want him too. He doesn’t care that Eddie said that he can’t fix everything, he knows that too, he’s tried and failed far too many times to not know that.

He cares that Eddie’s not gonna forgive him for fucking up this time. That he’s not gonna forgive him for trying to help him. That he’s not gonna forgive him…

Buck’s looking off at a window to the right of Eddie out in the distance, he can see trees and the blue sky, a few clouds, just floating and not having a care in the world. Buck wishes he could be a cloud sometimes, just float around and look down at everything, seeing everyone, they’re so small. He could see everyone and their problems. But yet again, a cloud can’t do anything for your problems, it can’t do anything. It's a cloud.

He's trying not to turn into a rainy cloud and start crying, normally he wouldn’t care to cry in front of Eddie, he’s done it a hundred times. But today is different. He can’t be a weak cloud right now. But he can hold it in and-

“Buck…”

“Buck I- I didn’t mean that,”

“I’m sorry.”

He can hear someone sniffing a little, and he feels hands on his knees, but his eyes are still glued to that damn window.

“Hey… babe please… look at me?” Eddie rubs his hands gently up and down Buck’s knees. He’s kneeled in front of Buck and his chair.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“I swear I didn’t… I was just angry, and I’m overwhelmed- I mean look at this place,” He takes a hand and waves around the room before focusing back in on Buck, “I know that’s a shitty excuse to yell at you. You- You didn’t deserve that, Buck. It was a shitty thing of me to say.”

Buck finally looks down at Eddie with at least one tear crawling its way down his face. He licks his lips and nods a little.

“It- It’s okay Eds… I know, I’d be pissed too if you did that,” he tries to cover a couple more tears with light laughter.

Eddie’s face changes to a bit of a relieved smile and grabs Buck’s hands in his and pulls them both up to his face and kisses his knuckles.

“I mean it Buck, I’ll never not feel bad for accidentally hurting you, because I’d never do it on purpose.”

Buck is biting the inside of his cheek, “I know.”

Eddie stands up a little and leans over Buck, “Stop biting your cheek,” and puts a hand on the back of Buck’s head and gives him a quick kiss, not mentioning the taste of blood in his mouth.

“you’re an asshole you know that right?” Buck rolls his eyes but can’t help but smile at Eddie a bit and wipe the tear off his face.

“Yeah, I know,” Eddie faintly smiles and then frowns again, “and I am really sorry though, I need you to know that I didn’t mean it.”

“Hey,” Buck puts a hand through Eddie’s hair, pushing it back, “I know you. I know you didn’t mean it, we’ll find our way through this,” He pats Eddie on the cheek and motions for him to go sit back down, “for now all we gotta worry about is meeting our mentor and hearing what they have to say, and y’know getting through this train ride- then worry about the next thing.”

“Yeah, easy right?” Eddie questions.

Carla walks in almost right after with an older, tall looking man with short hair, and a demeanor that Buck can only read as friendly, but has a cautious knowing look on his face. It’s honestly confusing the hell out of Buck.

“Boys, this is Bobby, he’s going to be your mentor.” Carla tells them, again with that overenthusiastic tone that makes Buck want to gouge his eyes out.

“Make sure you listen to him and all of his advice; this could be the difference between life and death for you two.” Carla points a finger at each of them, then smiles and walks out of Buck’s view.

Buck looks back at Eddie, looking for some kind of recognition or comfort. Eddie just shrugs at him, and they both look at the man in silence.

The tall man rubs his hands together and takes a few steps to sit at the chair in front of Buck.

“I’m Bobby, I’m going to be your mentor.”

“So, you’re here to like give us advice and stuff?” Buck asks the man.

“Yeah, I’m here to help the both of you get through this, make it easier, help you.” Bobby pauses and rubs his hands together and looks at Eddie, “Any questions you have, anything at all, I’m here to help you. No matter what.”

“I get that you guys don’t know me, or maybe you’ve seen me around 4… but you guys can lean on me. It's my job, I’m here to help you both become victors.” Bobby finishes.

“Well, technically one of us anyways-“ Eddie gets cut off by Buck reaching over and slapping his arm,

“Eddie!”

“What only one of us is getting out of here! It's true, we both know that.”

“Yeah, but what if there’s a chance that we both can?” Buck pauses and sighs, rubbing one hand down his face, “Didn’t another couple do it once? Right Bobby? They were from 12.”

“I mean yeah, but they got lucky, it was all up to the circumstance, and I don’t think that’s a circumstance that we have.” Bobby replies to the boy.

“But what if we did? What if we came up with a plan to get both me and Eddie out?” Buck exclaimed. He really wanted them both out, so if there is a chance that Bobby might know something, he was going to do his damn best to try and get them both out. But if he couldn’t, Eddie’s walking out of that arena, alive.

“I mean I don’t know kid, I think they were, but I just don’t know what the arena looks like, or really anything about it.” Bobby tells him, he’s trying to let Buck down easy, trying not to give him too much hope. Because yes hope is good, but it can be an illusion.

I mean now that he thinks about it, he has in fact seen this man before. He looks familiar. If he is a mentor, and a victor, he’s probably been to one of their training sessions. Sometimes victors would come and talk to the kids about the games, or help them with certain skills, usually with weapons or some survival skills.

===

3 Years ago

Buck was 15 years old; he had just gotten to training. He’s been fighting with his parents about going because “It’s never gonna be me mom, I’m never gonna get reaped. There are way too many kids” he’d say always rolling his eyes. But yet here he was, here among a group of 7-8 kids all his age waiting for their teacher? Trainer? Whatever his name was to start talking.

But Buck really didn’t care what he had to say about anything, he just wanted to talk with his friends. Well, one friend specifically. Eddie. He was really interesting to Buck, always knew how to make him laugh, and always listened to his rants about nothing. At first, he really didn’t like Eddie all that much, but that was mostly his own ego talking.

(and honestly, Buck doesn’t like thinking about when he hated Eddie, because now he can’t fathom doing so)

It honestly felt like a normal day for Buck, he was talking with Eddie, trying to ignore that little feeling that was probably nothing. But when their trainer started talking Buck didn’t really care all that much, but since Eddie did, he tried to pay attention. He was introducing a man that was super tall and super friendly looking, he was there to help them with survival skills.

Buck never really got to talk to the man because he left before he could ever get around to talking to Buck, but he didn’t really care anyways. He was already the best in his class with survival skills, so he probably wasn’t missing out on much.

===

Present day

“But I mean if we could magically come up with a plan once we’re in the arena to get both me and Eddie out, we could do it right?” Buck’s desperate for something, some kind of answer to his problem. One that he created nonetheless, but still.

“I mean maybe? There’s a chance that there might be a loophole in the arena to let you guys do that- but again I dunno. I can’t tell you anything about the games this year, because I know just about as much as you two. A lot of nothing.” Bobby offers up some kind of hope that Buck has been looking for, though it's not much of an answer.

He knows he’s probably not going to get one until he’s in the games though. But he has to find something, Eddie needs to get out. He needs to get out. They both need to get out. So far, his only plan is to keep him and Eddie safe and alive, and while they’re in the arena, they look for ways that they can make or find an escape route, or some way that the Capitol could let them both out.

Just like the couple from 12 did. Easy? Probably not, but it's all he can muster up in a short time of making this plan in 2 minutes in his head.

Eddie shifts in his seat to position himself to face Bobby more, “Hey, Bobby, is there a way that we could see past game footage? See how the kids from 12 both escaped?” Eddie asks.

“I don’t think so kid, if we can we probably can’t view it on the train. It’s kind of old footage, so I’m not even sure if we could access it when we get to the capitol. But I can try and look into getting it for you.”

It’s actually kind of smart, seeing how they did it, and just do that- or at least something similar. But if they did something similar, wouldn’t the capitol put in measures so that can’t happen again?

Plotting and scheming is hard. Too many variables.

Buck can hear Carla’s loud clicking heels against the tiled floor as she enters the room.

“Boys! Boys! Gather round gather round!” She motions for them all to stand up and gestures toward the “living room” Type space.

What in the hell is she having us do now?

“Uhm, what is this for?” Buck asks, walking over and sitting on the couch.

Eddie walks right behind him and positions himself right next to Buck. They’re pressed up together thigh to shoulder. Bobby puts himself in a chair next to the couch, and Carla just stands behind Bobby. It’s probably pretty difficult to sit down in all that poofy capitol fabric.

“I’d like to show you boys the reaping, so you can see who you’ll be going into the arena with. It might help you guys a little.” Carla says picking up a remote and turning it on.

It’s a good idea, getting to see who you’ll be going up against in the arena. Getting a general profile of these people to be prepared. Who to look out for, who could be a threat, who might not be.

District 1, Luxury, is on first, two volunteers, older boys, both look cocky and confident. It honestly pisses Buck off how happy they are. One of them even throws his hands in the air celebrating as he walks up to the stage. Tommy Kinard and Doug Kendall… they’re definitely going to be a problem.

As they watch the rest of District 1’s reaping Buck positions himself closer into Eddie, grabbing his hand and leaning his back into him, slouching a little. Eddie just wraps one hand around his waist.

Eddie whispers into Buck’s ear, “Those two are going to be an issue, I can tell.”

Buck just nods in agreement.

District 2, weapons, it seems unreal. A victor’s children are reaped. Buck recognizes her. She’s known for being particularly badass. He just can’t remember her name right now.

May and Harry Grant. District 2’s tributes. The camera cuts to their mother crying and then to their father standing there shocked with a tear rolling down his face.

Athena Grant, yeah, that was her name. It shows her having to be held back by peacekeepers because she’s trying to get to her children after her son gets reaped right after her daughter.

She’s lashing around and knocking peacekeepers to the ground. She quickly gets past them and gets to her children. Pulling them both into a hug and whispering something into their ears. The camera doesn’t catch what was said, but she then is taken away backstage.

Buck just hopes that she doesn’t have to mentor them to their deaths. Because as much as Buck hates it, Eddie has to get home, and if that means they don’t. He can only be sorry for their loss.

They probably won’t be a problem, but then again, they’re the children of Athena Grant and a career district. They very much could be.

But then again, they are too… what could the other districts think of them?

Would they think that him and Eddie would be an issue? Do they see them as a threat?

They’re gonna find out soon anyways, best not to ponder on the thought.

It moves onto District 3, Taylor Kelly, and Murphy something, Buck didn’t catch his last name. Carla started saying something about how much she hated the district 3 escort. Buck honestly wasn’t really listening.

These two probably won’t be much of a problem anyways. Murphy is kinda scrawny and short, looks maybe about 14?

It moves onto their reaping next. It shows Sophia getting called up, then Eddie volunteering, and the rest is history. Buck tries not to look at it. He instead focuses on Eddie’s hand in his. He moves his hand to play with his fingers, rubbing at his knuckles and moving his thumbs across the palm of his hand.

He hates that he can hear his own voice in the background. Is his voice always that annoying? Probably not- could have just been the ‘distress’ he was in at the moment.

Carla looks at the both of them curled up on the couch, Eddie basically holding Buck. She glances over at Bobby from where she moved so she now has a clear view of him, the boys and the reaping playing in the background.

“Are you two- ah oh my goodness! Are you two boys together?” Carla can’t help but ask.

Buck looks up at Eddie, then back down at their hands, (well, Eddie’s one hand) then just nods his head, not even looking at Carla.

Eddie nods as well but follows it up with an actual verbal confirmation. He sounds kinda shy about it, like he’s about to get yelled at or scolded. Neither of them make an attempt to look at anyone.

“Oh my god! Really?” Carla trots over the front of the couch to get an even better look at the two of them.

“You know you boys don’t need to hide here; we aren’t going to shame you or punish you; the capitol will love you.”

Bobby cuts in before Carla jumps back into conversation with total enthusiasm like a freight train once again.

“Ah! Honestly, that makes so much sense why you two are so cuddly, and also why he volunteered- wait. Not really though, boy why did you volunteer? You know how these games work right? Only one of you would be coming out.”

Oh yeah, no crap only one of them is coming out- but really if they can both find a way out like those people from 12 did, problem solved.

But yet that was… how many years ago?

“I uhm, I didn’t really plan on it at first. I wasn’t going to until I heard the second name called and saw him walking up to the stage. I knew in that moment that as well trained and skilled Eddie is, he wouldn’t stand a chance next to that guy. Well, for a lot of reasons. But I just needed to make sure that Eddie was the one coming home. And no one else.”

“Aww, well isn’t that just sweet… Oh my goodness! This could be such a good way to get you both some sponsors. If you both go around the capitol with your relationship, you’re bound to get a few! Oh, people love a good love story, and a good tragedy-“

“Not that your fates will be tragic!” Bobby cuts in, trying to deescalate the statement, after he takes one look at Buck’s face.

Well, Carla does have a point. It is going to be tragic if they show off their relationship. He’s going to enjoy the spotlight and the awes and woos, then he’s going to die and Eddie’s going to go home alone, probably with his body not far behind. Unless there isn’t a body to recover and bury after the games. Which isn’t unheard of, some mutts have been very brutal, and some tributes. Hopefully, none that they see. But the worst is usually over after the big main career districts.

No one else says anything on the topic, Carla has said her piece, and Bobby actually knows how to read a room. Both Buck and Eddie are extremely uncomfortable right now and honestly, they both want to be left alone to panic about the thought of taking their relationship public, for everyone to see. The capitol, their families, the districts. How many people will love them for it? But how many more will hate them?

They’ve missed several district’s reaping’s because of all the chatter, so now they’re onto district 9, a couple of girls, Lena Bosko, and Lucy Donato. Their reaping looked interesting. Clearly, they both look like they just ‘love each other’ so much based on the death glares they’re sending each other. That one is clearly going to go down well in the arena.

District 10, livestock, it has an interesting pair of tributes for sure. One of them is a boy, Miles Penn, looks fine, could probably put up a good fight if he really tried. But the second tribute. A girl, Gabby Roberts, she looks no older than 14, definitely one of the younger tributes. There is something clearly wrong with her.

On her way up the stage, she was holding a rat and had another on her shoulder. When she got up the stage, she put the one on her shoulder into her escorts massive wig, causing her to freak out and scream. She was just grinning and laughing the entire time. Like it was some kind of game.

Just the look of pure joy on her face from the panic she caused was kind of disturbing. She was short and small, definitely not a threat… probably. She was wearing a white and grey dress that was clearly worn and dirty, and she had wild brown hair that could probably hide another rat.

Buck thought it was a little funny how the escort panicked then causing the nearby peacekeepers to panic and try and help her. A peacekeeper even got pushed off the stage by the poor woman, the male tribute just took a few steps back and watched the entire thing unfold.

Bobby was chuckling in the corner and shaking his head, Carla looked horrified, she probably knows that woman, and Eddie- well Eddie just looked disgusted.

“I’m honestly very curious on how that’s gonna play out in the arena.” Buck says, still giggling from the chaos.

“Honestly same?” Eddie chimes in.

The next district plays, and everyone just watched in silence, some head nodding from Bobby and the click of Carla’s heels as she goes to get a drink.

The final district plays and the first tribute to get called is maybe 15-16 years old, boy, olive skin, dark wavy hair, seemingly calm for having just gotten reaped, there’s really almost no read off of the boy, just that he seems oddly comfortable.

The second tribute to get reaped is a girl, a little older maybe, she could be 16-17? When her name gets called she just stands there frozen, the escort has to say her name several times before she begins to walk up to the stage. She adjust her outfit as she makes her way to the stage. The camera cuts to a woman in the crowd, a victor from 12 she looks shocked, like her world just got stopped. Could it be her daughter?

“Why does she look so familiar?” Eddie turns his head to ask bobby.

“Who? The tribute or the girl with the black hair?”

“The girl with the black hair, who is she?”

“She’s a victor from 12. That girl is her little sister who she volunteered for, to protect her.”

Wait, that victor from 12? The one who got out with her boyfriend? Her little sister just got reaped. This could almost work in their favor if they’re able to talk to her. Get information about how they did it.

But that poor girl, getting reaped twice, the odds were for sure not in her favor. She was spared of the arena once, but this time, when she steps into the arena, she won’t be leaving it alive.

But Buck will make sure that they share the same fate. Dying in the arena. If that means that she may have to die by his hand, then so be it.

But no. Only as a last resort, if he can get another tribute to do his dirty work for him- it's better that way.

But honestly, now that it’s on his mind, he would kill someone if he had too. If they where trying to kill either him or Eddie. It wasn’t unheard of that if someone got a little too aggressive with him or Eddie during training he would double it back at them. It’s why he excelled so much.

Both him and Eddie were the best out of their peers when it came to sports at school, or training courses back home. They’re a power team though, District 4 has had many victors in the past, they could do it. He can get them out, or at least one of them.

Does he really want to go through with the relationship strategy though? To get sponsors? What would his parents think back home? What would Eddie’s parents think when he gets back home?

He wishes that he could talk to Maddie right now, she always has the best advice. He needs her guidance, or just her sympathetic ear. A hug would also suffice.

“So- wait, we could ask her about her sister’s games, get intel on how they pulled it off?” Eddie cuts in.

“I mean yeah. But it depends on whether she’ll talk to you two, if I was her I’d probably not tell either of you anything. Theres a good chance that she’ll see through your question if you two expose your relationship and she knows. She might see it as a way to get you both out and not herself.”

Great, so they either don’t reveal their relationship and get info or expose it and not get info! But then what if she doesn’t see through it and takes it as a chance to talk about her sister? What if she tells them anyway?

“But there’s a chance that she would just tell us anyways? Talk about her sister, something familiar?” Buck asks, adjusting his position sitting up a little more.

“I mean, yeah. I guess we just don’t know yet kid. You’ll have to talk to her to find out. But honestly, the lower districts tend to not trust the careers very much- she probably won’t trust either of you right away. I’m not trying to crush your hope, but we need to be realistic here.”

Buck just shakes it head yes in understanding as he looks back down at his lap. He feels Eddie shift behind him, clearly also uncomfortable and worried like he is, but then again, who isn’t anxious when they both could be dead soon anyways and there’s nothing they can do about it?

“So, all of this aside, what do you know about the arena? I know you said you didn’t really know anything about it, but doesn’t that mean that you know something? What can you tell us?” Eddie asks Bobby,

“I wish I had information you could use, but honestly I don’t. All I know is that it's diverse; meaning that you could be seeing anything in there.”

“So, like, it could be desert and winter wonderland in there?” Buck questions.

“I mean yeah- it very much could be kid. Anything really, there could be buildings, there could be difficult terrain, extreme weather, the mutts could be excessive, we just don’t know yet. And we won’t until you get in there. But I can tell you this… I do know that before you get launched into the arena your outfits could tell you what kind of conditions you might be expecting.”

“Okay, that’s something I guess.” Eddie sighs out, popping his knuckles.

Well, that answer basically gives them nothing to work with. Diverse? Could be anything. So, we know nothing. Great.

“Okay, so bobby, what do we need to know?” Buck asks.

Bobby proceeds to tell them some basic things they already know, and some things they don’t really know about the arena, some mechanics he knows from his own games and what they were like for him. though he did leave out a lot of major details. He told them about how his was like a winter wasteland, how he won his own, the people he killed, the alliances he made and eventually betrayed in the end because it was all he could do to get home. Things he regrets not doing or things that he regrets wasting.

They eventually moved to the table where there was a huge arrangement of food. Buck stuffed his face with at least one of everything. Eddie pretty much did the same but stayed away from the more… odd looking foods and desserts.

Buck and Eddie may have known about some of Bobby’s games already, you tend to know a bit about the games of the victors in your district. But they found out some knew information that Buck found kind of fascinating. One thing that he really liked is how knowing about plants was really important, what is safe and what might not be.

Bobby told them about how in his games, as cold as it was the capitol had crated these plants that thrived in cold conditions. Half of them were poisonous and looked like safe berry bushes, or flowers. But they really weren’t. It killed 4 tributes in his games, so if there’s a chance in the training center to learn about them, do it.

He told them that the stations in the training center can give hints about what might be in the arena vs what probably isn’t. He advised them to hit as many stations as they could to learn about things they weren’t the best in, or to hit stations that might not seem super important.

They could save your life.

--

After they had a fairly long discussion and Q&A, Buck started to get tired, his eyelids where getting heavy and he was leaning a lot more into Eddie, keeping his head propped up on his shoulder because it just felt so heavy.

Bobby noticed after the 6^th yawn that Buck broke out and decided they should go to bed because they have a big day tomorrow when they hit the capitol.

Buck and Eddie made their way to the sleeping quarters of the train where bobby led them and bid him goodnight. they found two separate rooms with 1 bed. It wasn’t a small bed, but it wasn’t very big either. Theres also no surprise that when Eddie walked into one room Buck followed him into the same room fairly quickly. They were not going to be leaving each other’s side unless they absolutely have to.

They took off the clothes they wore to the reaping and left them in a bunched up pile on the floor with their matching pins laying on top. and Eddie found them pants to put on in one of the drawers of the kinda small room.

 Buck rubbed a hand on the silky blanket that covered the top of the bed, feeling the fabric under his hand and admiring the feeling of how it felt. It was a new feeling for him. He’s never really felt silk; it wasn’t really common in the districts. Except for maybe district 1 or 8, since they deal with all the luxury things for the capitol and clothing.

Buck flung the corner of the sheets over and hopped into the bed, moving over to the furthest side where Eddie joined next to him. They got situated and Eddie ended up pulling Buck close to his chest. Buck could feel the puffs of air on his shoulder from his breathing.

“Should we really reveal our relationship to everyone to get sponsors?” Buck whispers, moving his head slightly to look more at the ceiling.

Eddie hums against his skin and just replies, “Do you want to?”

“That’s why I was asking, if you were comfortable with it… because I know when you make it home-“

“If I make it home.” Eddie cuts him off.

“Okay, but you’re parents would be pissed Eddie. Knowing them, they honestly might not even care that you won the games and be more upset about you dating me.” Buck rolled over so they’re face to face now, Buck’s laying on his arm, looking up at Eddie where he’s moved to sit up more, elbow on the pillow and a fist on the side of his face.

“Yeah, maybe… probably. But I don’t really care. I know for sure that my sisters won’t, and they mean more to me than almost really anything. They’re the reason we’re here- well why I’m here anyways.”

“So? Should we? Should we not? I mean Maddie already knows, she asked me when she came to say goodbye and I couldn’t tell her no. She loved it honestly.”

Eddie grabs Buck’s hand and gives it a small squeeze, “What did your parents think?” He brings their interwind hands to his mouth and kisses Buck’s knuckles before setting them back down.

“I kicked them out before that. They were just being problematic, and I didn’t need that from them. Even if it was the last time I’d ever see them. I’m fine leaving them behind… as messed up as that is. I am.”

Really, he didn’t mind leaving them behind. As much as they weren’t bad people, they were in fact bad parents. It didn’t really show on the outside, rather than when Buck was consistently complaining to people about them. When they were displayed as a family unit at events and things, they were perfect. The Buckley’s, perfect little family.

But they were also the poor sad Buckley’s who lost their dear son in a tragic accident on the water. Still grieving their dead son… oh, Daniel, lost too soon.

“Well, we’re going to find a way that you wont be leaving them behind Buck. But you can once we both make it back to 4. You can cut them off and never speak to them again.” Eddie whispers rubbing a thumb across the back of Buck’s hand.

Buck laughs a little and says, “That sounds nice.”

Eddie laughs with him, “Yeah, cutting off anyone without any consequences and never speaking to them again… hmmm… It does sound appealing.”

“Is this about your parents? You never told me about what happened before the reaping.”

“It- uh… yeah…” Eddie paused for a moment and sighs, breaking eye contact and looking at the wall behind Buck.

“It was honestly mostly just my dad; he was being difficult about me not wanting to volunteer this year. Kinda funny because here I am…” Eddie sighs and leans back onto his pillow and stares up at the ceiling.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Buck sits up more and rubs a hand through Eddie’s hair, making him close is eyes. “Soo, are we gonna do it? Tell the world?”

Eddie gives Buck a closed mouth smile and whispers, “Hell yeah.”

They laugh for a moment before going silent. The weight of the following days pressing back down on them, becoming slightly more real. Buck just sighs and keeps his hand in Eddie’s hair.

Eddie yawns, “Ugh, I’m just so exhausted already, we haven’t even made it to the capitol yet. Not to mention what it's gonna be like in the arena.”

Buck just chuckles a little and says, “Yeah, just thinking about it is giving me a headache already.”

Eddie opens his eyes and looks up at Buck, “I love you, Buck.”

“I love you too, Eddie.”

Buck fully lays down, Eddie wraps a hand around his waist, and they fall sleep there. Not quite fully content, but comfortable in each other’s presence. Knowing that they’ll both get through this together somehow.

Chapter Text

Buck woke up in a strange bed, in a strange place with a familiar body wrapped around him.

It takes him a minute to remember what he’s doing and why he’s there. His chest drops as he thinks about it, like he’s falling off of a building knowing that when he hits the ground he’s going to die. But there’s nothing he can do but keep treading towards the capitol, but it's nice having Eddie so close without having to worry about anyone.

He just takes in the quiet moment while it's still here. Because honestly, moments like these could be the last they have together for the rest of their lives.

He lets some of the natural light sink into the room from the small window, casting light along the few objects there really are. The light hits the small crystal chandelier just right; there are small rainbows scattered across the room.

He can still feel Eddie’s breath lightly puffing on his skin where he’s lying on his chest. He looks peaceful this way, unbothered by yesterday’s events. It makes him look smaller in the best way possible. Buck wishes that he could keep Eddie like this. Relaxed and at ease.

They’ll probably be at the capitol soon; Carla or Bobby might be banging at the door any minute to wake them and have them get ready for their arrival to the ‘grand’ capitol.

Eugh.

Until then though, he just looks at Eddie, strokes a hand lightly through his hair, he notices a small reflection from the chandelier landing on his forehead and rubs a light thumb over the color. He wishes they could stay in bed like this forever. Maybe not technically this bed due to its lead to their potential doom. But lying in bed together, having Eddie be so close to him… it's something that he thought he’d never have the luxury of getting.

He may hate the capitol, hate the games, hate everything it stands for. But he can only thank these terrible people for giving him a moment that he never thought he’d get. Giving him this moment that he’ll cherish for the rest of his life, however short that may be.

Buck has his eyes locked onto Eddie’s face when he sees his face scrunching up a little, then relax. He mumbles something incoherent and moves his hand up closer to his face, resting on Buck’s chest.

“Hey sleepy head,” Buck whispers, brushing Eddie’s hair to the side, “you ready to wake up yet?”

Eddie mumbles something that Buck can only make out as five more minutes. Buck can’t help but laugh a little at the fact.

They lay there, Eddie is slowly waking up and blinking his eyes open for a few seconds at a time before pointedly shutting them, drifting back off to sleep.

Buck is going to let him relax for as long as he can, cause he’s going to need this.

--

It’s maybe 20 minutes before Buck hears a light knock at the door and Bobby walks into the room giving Buck a tight lined smile then looking down at Eddie still asleep.

Bobby starts in a soft voice almost a whisper, “We’re almost to the capitol, I’d recommend you two get ready soon. You both have a big day ahead of you.” He nods his head and starts to walk out before looking back, “Try to wear something nice, there are going to be tons of people waiting to get a glimpse of you.”

Bobby walks out of the room, leaving just him and a still sleeping Eddie. He should really wake him up now… but he doesn’t want to. He looks so peaceful right now without any tension in his features.

He just strokes his hand through Eddie’s hair and whispers, “Hey, good morning sleepyhead, time to wake up.”

Eddie just grumbles in response and cracks his eyes open, he lifts his head up and looks around the room for a moment before putting his forehead back onto Buck, “No. I’ll wake up tomorrow, I can’t do this today.” and lets a huge sigh leave him.

“Yeah, well you and me both, but we have to get up now. Bobby says we’re almost there and we have to look pretty for the people.”

“ew.” Is all Eddie grumbles out before fully sitting up and crossing his legs, stary eyed.

Buck hops off the bed and walks over to the drawer of clothes and begins rummaging through it looking at their options. Eddie just stays seated on the bed, staring at the empty spot that Buck left, then rubbing a hand through his hair and down his face.

They both get ready and put on a pair of clothes. Buck is wearing black pants with a basic white button down; he put his matching golden pin on his waistband because he didn’t want to lose it. Eddie put on dark green pants with a black shirt, rolling up the sleeves nearly to his elbows. He also decided to match Buck with the pin and putting it on.

They walk out to the main area; there’s another amazing spread of food laid out on the table. Bobby is already sitting there digging into a plate of pancakes, when he noticed them entering the room, he gestures for the two to join him.

Buck and Eddie join him and begin silently filling their plates with piles of food. Buck once again trying at least one of everything. If he was gonna die, he as going to take advantage of all the fancy things and good food they offered. And by the looks of Eddie’s plate, he probably agrees.

They eat in silence for a moment before Bobby speaks up, wanting to share the days game plan with them both.

He explains the crowds of people that they’re going to be expecting at the train station when they arrive at the capitol.

“Then basically after that we’re taking you somewhere where they’re going to clean you up and make you look pretty to meet your stylist and from there make you look even better for the parade.”

Buck and Eddie just nod along, before Buck speaks up, “So, what is the parade going to look like? I mean I know what it involves because well we’ve all seen it on tv- but the process?”

“Well once you meet your stylist, they’re going to be making you basically their personal dress up doll, and then you’ll make your way to the parade. There really isn’t anything exciting to tell about the process. Just get pampered enjoy yourself and have everyone do the work.”

“So just sit there and look pretty?” Eddie deadpans.

“I guess so yeah.”

--

When they arrive at the capitol Buck expected a lot of people, but this was, well… More than he ever could have imagined. And they’re all here to see him and Eddie? It’s baffling honestly.

He’s standing at a window peering out, he can see people waving and hear the faint cheers of the crowd through the train walls. Eddie is sitting in a chair nearby watching him.

“C’mon Eds come look, they’re all here for us!” Buck begs, looking down at Eddie and reaching a hand towards him.

“Buck- they’ll see me when I get off the train and then again later.”

Buck doesn’t say anything to him, just looks down at him and gives him puppy eyes and gestured more for Eddie to grab his hand.

Eddie is a weak man, “Fine.” He stands up and grabs Buck’s hand and standing next to him. never letting go.

When the train comes to a stop and they’re let off, Buck and Eddie are still hand in hand. Peacekeepers are trying to keep the crowd back while others are leading them away. Buck can’t help but wave at them.

For a moment he forgot why he was even there, that these people aren’t good. That they’re only here to get a glimpse of him before he dies on live tv.

--

Buck and Eddie were separated and taken into separate areas. Buck wanted to put up a fight, but he was reassured he would see Eddie again soon.

So, he’s just sitting here after forever of random people with strange makeup and hair poking and prodding at him. They kept whispering and glaring at him like he’d done something to wrong them. But he’d done nothing, so maybe they just hate him because he’s district. Which is unfair, but it's the world they live in, so he manages anyway.

They told him that he would soon be meeting his stylist.

The strange people had left, and he’s alone. Just sitting here waiting for whoever his stylist may be. Earlier he had overheard the strange people talking about who he assumed was going to be his stylist- that it was their first year being a stylist for the games.

Great, so he was their first test subject… a guineapig.

He sat on the edge of this table in a robe just looking around the blank room with dark walls, kicking his feet below him. He sat there for what felt like forever until a woman walked into the room, she was very pretty. She had dark skin and no hair- gladly, she didn’t wear any strange neon or dramatic clothing. But she did look like she could walk into any room and instantly own it.

She was wearing lilac purple pants, with a shiny dark purple shirt and black jacket. Noticeably she wore these huge hoop earrings and fancy glasses; beyond her glasses you could see her wearing matching lilac purple eyeliner to her pants.

She looked very friendly and pleased to see him, unlike the people with the neon hair.

She walked up to him and reached her hand out as he grabbed hers, she introduced herself, “Hey there, my name’s Henerietta Wilson. I’m going to be your stylist.”

“It’s good to meet you Henrietta, I’m Evan Buckley- which you probably know?”

She laughed a little and nodded her head, “Yeah, but please call me Hen.”

Buck gave her a small smile and shook his head yes.

“Okay, Hen” She clapped her hands together and began looking Buck over, “Let’s see what we’re dealing with, and I can start getting you your outfit.”

He mumbled a soft “alright” under his breath and let her do her thing. Because she is the expert after all.

She’s much more polite and respectful towards him than the others were. She has his soft kindness to her, it kind of reminds him of Maddie.

“So, Evan, tell me, why’d you volunteer for the games?” Hen asked him, messing around with his hair.

“Uhm, my boyfriend volunteered, when I saw the second tribute walking up I knew that I had to replace him. I couldn’t just like stand there y’know? I couldn’t let him go into this arena without a chance of getting home.”

Buck didn’t make eye contact with his stylist, just looked off to one of the bare walls. Eventually, he felt that familiar taste of blood in his mouth.

Hen didn’t say anything for a moment, it worried him, until she spoke.

“Wow, that’s… honestly I don’t have any words for that Evan.” Her voice was quiet and kind. Not like she pitied him, but like she really didn’t have the words.

“You must really love him then huh?”

“Yeah, I guess I really do. I’m just sorry I have to leave him so soon. But he’s good. Actually good, he has people who will miss him and I’m different. So, I’m praying that at least he can leave that arena.”

Whenever he’s talking about Eddie, he can get a little… Yappy, but on a normal day he’d feel bad for over sharing to some woman he just met- especially someone from the capitol. But he feels like he can trust her. Maybe it's because she reminds him so much of Maddie, that big sister energy. He wonders what Maddie would think of her.

“I get it. If my wife was in that position I’d probably do the same to make sure she got home to our kids.”

Hen had pulled up a chair that was sitting in the corner of the room and sat down, she folded her hands in her lap and looked at her nails.

“This is my first year doing this, my wife’s been doing this much longer than I have. She told me once that the best thing you can do for yourself is not to get to close to your tributes because we’re probably going to lose them anyway. But I just don’t want to do that. Even if you end up not making it, you are human too and all of these fake, unfamiliar, strange looking people poking and prodding at you is uncomfortable. So, I just want to be here to help guide you.”

“Thank you Hen. For saying that. It means a lot, especially here. And if I’m being honest, you kind of remind me of my big sister, Maddie. She was always my rock before I had Eddie.”

Hen laughed a little and stood up, smoothing out her pants. “I’m glad. Now let's get you all dressed up! Then we can head to the parade and you, my friend, can see your man again. He’s going to be all pretty and dressed up as well.” She put a hand to the side of her mouth and whispered, “A little something to look forward too?”

Buck couldn’t help but laugh at that, an actually laugh.

“Wait, so your wife is also a stylist for the games?”

“Yup, her name’s Karen, she should be working with your boy. We planned matching outfits for you both. I mean most stylists do that- But I think I’m going to have something added to make it extra special.”

Buck has no idea what she means by special, and he’s kind of scared to ask. So instead of asking he just ducks his head and lets a small smile escape his face. The taste of blood in his mouth has long been forgotten.

Yeah, Maddie would definitely like her.

--

Hen ended up putting him in a much more complicated outfit than he’d thought he’d be wearing. Buck had also thought that he wouldn’t be wearing makeup, but here he is in gold and blue eyeliner and a little bit of blush on his cheeks.

Hen and her noticeably young apprentice, who Hen had introduced her as Mara, her daughter, spent a lot of time on just accessorizing him and putting random things onto his outfit. Stitching a couple more pearls onto the arms or using a fabric marker to add some more intricate details that he was sure no one would ever be able to see from the stands.

Once it was all done, Buck was in awe at how he looked. It was sort of messy, but it worked. The detail was nothing short of amazing.

He had on a light blue tuxedo that they had made look worn. There was a rip on his shoulder, and one of his cuffs were torn off. His right hand was wearing a fingerless glove that was a light pink color, and on his tux, it had that same pink color fading almost all the way up to his elbow.

They had snuck in some aspects of his reaping outfit onto his parade outfit. His golden pin was placed on him, just in a different spot this time.

They had made a shawl out of a fishing net, and they had given him any layered golden necklaces with all sorts of charms on them. As well as several chunky golden rings.

The outfit also had pearls sewn onto what looked like random clusters all over the outfit. The leg and his right shoulder of his outfit had also had starfish painted onto it.

There were so many little patterns and symbols of the ocean in his outfit, he loved it.

In the back if Buck’s mind though, he had to think about how much this outfit had even cost to make. All of the gold in his hands and around his neck. The thought of the price tag was almost suffocating even though he had no idea of the cost.

As Buck is looking in the mirror his thoughts drift to Eddie, what he’s doing right now. Did his crew give him the same judgmental looks as his did? Were they assholes to him as his was? He hopes that Karen is like Hen, very kind and respectful. But based on what Hen has told him about her, Eddie should be okay, he should be fine with her.

“What’s with the grim face?” Hen asks him, placing a hand on his shoulder, looking at him through the mirror.

“Just kind of worried about Eddie. I hate leaving him alone- Like I know, he can take care of himself. He’s Eddie, he… I’m just worried I dunno.” Buck just sighs and looks blankly at himself in the mirror. A little bit of anxiety making its way into his chest.

“Well, he’s with Karen, so I know he’s okay and in very good hands.” Hen tries to reassure him. Yeah, it helps a little.

She gives him a small tap on the shoulder before walking over to Mara to help put away the mess they’d made.

--

Honestly, Buck had no idea what to expect out of the parade. Actually, that’s a lie. He’s seen the tribute’s parade many times on TV, but the preparation is what he didn’t expect.

The horses were gorgeous; their bodies were decorated with all sorts of jewels and decorations. He looked around and he saw a bunch of other tributes getting ready to get on their chariots.

Buck tried looking around for Primrose, the girl from 12, but he couldn’t find her in the crowd of people.

He noticed the other tributes outfits. Some of them were amazing, others were… interesting, so to say. He saw the district 1 tributes, Doug and Tommy their names were? It looked like someone just glamified them head to toe in just tiny little gemstones. Just walking silver men.

But Buck’s real question was where was Eddie? It looked like everyone else was here but him. He was slightly worried. He started to dig his ring finger into the side of his thumb and began looking around. Ignoring everyone around him talking.

He noticed a girl from district 3; Taylor Kelly was her name he thinks? She was smirking at him and very clearly checking him out. He just turns away from her gaze. She is definitely not his type, and he’s a taken man. Who in fact- is so devoted to his boyfriend that he’s basically here to die for him.

So, ha! She can fuck off.

He looked over at Bobby and just stared at him for a second, and Bobby just staring back with an eyebrow raised.

“Are you good kid?”

Buck looked like a deer in headlights, didn’t say anything for a moment too long. Bobby took a step forward and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Buck?”

“I’m sorry what?”

Hen was just laughing in the background.

“Buck baby did you not here him?” Carla chimed in.

“Uhm, I guess not- sorry, my head was just up in the clouds I guess.”

“What’s on your mind kid?” Bobby stepped back and crossed his arms, awaiting an answer.

“Why isn’t Eddie here yet?”

Hen, no longer laughing, “His outfit probably took longer than expected. Karen has our son with her, Denny, that kids still got a lot to learn. Probably slowed them down a bit.”

Okay, yeah. Probably just running a little behind schedule. No big deal.

Buck just ducked his head and nodded a little. He took a deep breath and looked back up

He turned his head, and he immediately locked eyes with familiar brown.

Eddie.

Walking right towards him with whom he assumed was Karen not far behind.

He honestly couldn’t help the smile that made its way onto his face, genuine, but relieved. He stood there smiling like a teenage girl looking at her crush.

Eddie looked amazing. Karen did an amazing job with his outfit. It was matching Buck’s except for some minor detail changes.

The second Eddie made it to him he wrapped his arms around him and tucked his nose into his neck. He didn’t ever want to let go of him again, but he had to, but maybe he’d hold onto him a little longer so Taylor Kelly could get the hint.

“You look amazing.” Buck complimented his boyfriend.

“So do you.”

“Buck couldn’t help himself but to pull the man into a quick kiss, because Hen was right. This was a sight that was surely worth the wait. Hen and Karen really do know how to work magic.

Buck turned to look at Hen and Karen, “You guys are amazing, like look at us! We look great, don’t we?” Buck exclaimed, meeting Eddie’s eyes again.

“Why thank you.” Karen gave a little bow and grabbed Hen’s hand. Buck thought those two were adorable. They clearly loved each other. Especially due to how Hen talks about her.

Maybe in another life they could have been good friends.

Eddie stood beside Buck, one hand wrapped around his waist, and whispered into his ear, “You’ve seen the other tributes here, some of their outfits are insane.”

“I know! Have you seen the guys from 1? It looks like someone just went crazy with mini gemstones They’re literally covered from their neck to their feet in tiny little like crystals.”

“Wait really- where are they?” Eddie stretched his neck to look around for them. They were honestly super easy to spot, considering they were shining and reflecting off of every speck of light.

Bobby rolled his eyes and looked at Carla who just shrugged at him.

Karen whispered into Hen’s ear, “They’re like two teenage girls gossiping.”

Eddie laughed a little and met his eyes back with Buck, “They really do look crazy. And uhm I think they saw me looking at them…”

“Oh shit- really?” Buck turned his head to look at them, because that was the smart thing to do, “The girl from 3, I think her name was Taylor Kelly,” Eddie nodded his head at him raising an eyebrow, “I think she was like checking me out or something while I was waiting for you.”

“Wait- seriously. Where is she?” Eddie looked around and just pulled Buck in closer to him, tightening his grip on his waist.

“I dunno babe, I really don- oh my gosh!” Buck gasped.

“What?”

“That weird girl from 10, the one who put a rat in her escort's hair! She’s over there.” Buck subtly points to her, “She has another one on her shoulder.”

“Eugh.” Eddie looks disgusted, “I hate rats.”

The girl from 10, Gabby, looks over at the couple and smiles, an eerie big toothy grin at them. Her eyes so wide they look like they might pop out of her skull.

Buck might have nightmares about that smile if he sees it peeking at him through the darkness in the arena, or just maybe that smile in general…

Buck and Eddie just stand there staring, with horrified looks on their faces, Buck grabbed Eddie’s arm for support, Eddie grabbing Buck’s hand with his own, seeking the same support.

Bobby cleared his throat rather loudly, both Buck and Eddie snapping their heads to him. Bobby checked his non-existent watch, “Alright boys, on the chariot.”

It was time for them to get onto their chariots. Buck was relatively nervous about it. These things didn’t have a back to it, and he really didn’t wanna fall off the back and like- die.

But hey, he had Eddie here with him so it couldn’t be that bad?

Once they both stood on the back Hen stepped forward with Karen not far behind, “Boys, switch spots your ruining our design!” Hen flared her arms and put her hands on her hips, Karen standing next to her with a stern look and crossed arms.

“What- how?” Buck was rather confused-

Oh-

He noticed the second they switched spots.

The pink on the one arm.

“Hold hands.” Karen demanded of them, gesturing with a point of her finger, arms still crossed, face expression… even more terrifying.

Buck thinks he’s much more scared of this woman’s stern look than his own mother’s.

Buck obviously had to obey, she was a little terrifying, and he would gladly hold Eddie’s hand any day of the week.

He had to applaud Hen. He loved it.

This still didn’t change the fact that he didn’t wanna fall off the back and die. This was seriously nerve racking. The capitol was just now getting their first full view of them. They’re fully going to see him and Eddie as a couple. Well, he at least hopes that they see him like that and not assume they’re like super strong allies. Which they are- but still.

“Remember boys, smile and wave, hold hands, look pretty, and enjoy your time in the spotlight.” Carla said, voice as enthusiastic and annoying as ever. But she was probably right, they needed to make a great first impression.

Buck just shot her with a nervous smile and nodded his head at her, before looking forward and taking a deep breath. Everything is fine. It’s gonna be okay. They’re not gonna die soon. This is just some crazy coma dream.

Yeah, none of this is real, just smile, look pretty, impress strangers. Yeah, easy.

Eddie gave him a reassuring smile and brought Buck’s hand to his mouth and kissed his knuckles.

The horses started moving and Buck stumbled a little bit, losing his balance slightly at the sudden movement. Eddie’s hand in his grounded him as the chariot rolled and the horses went on.

Buck looked out and gorgeous looking buildings, so many people, rows of men and women beating drums in perfect rhythm.

It was surreal.

He just gripped Eddie’s hand tighter, shot on the smile Carla told him to put on his face and waved.

He leaned over a little to Eddie and spoke up, “This is actually insane!”

Eddie just laughed. “Right?!”

Before Buck knew it the parade was nearly over when they had made it to the president’s mansion.

All the chariots came to a stop, and they were now looking up at him as he stood there in his glory. He has all of this money, all these things. Yet people are starving in 4. Buck knows that some districts have it much worse than they do. But they’re all still starving.

The president began his annoying speech, nearly the same one that he gives every year, greeting the tributes, blah blah blah, good luck to everyone, blah blah blah.

“What a dick.” Eddie said, just quiet enough for Buck to hear.

“Eddie, don’t say that he’s right there!”

“Not like he can hear me, the guys ancient. I wouldn’t be surprised if he died tomorrow.”

“Eddie!” Buck elbowed him in the side.

“What- oh shit!” The chariot started moving again, the sound of the horses' hooves clicking across the ground coming back to life. Eddie nearly stumbling backwards and falling.

He was not ready for that-

Buck just laughed in his face and waved at the crowd, grabbing Eddie’s hand again and holding it up.

As bad as the circumstances are that they’re here, right now, Buck kind of appreciates being able to see all this luxury before he dies.

Yes, he gets that these people are just here to get a look at him before he dies like he’s some kind of zoo animal. But this is a once in a lifetime experience (literally) and he wants to find the light of all this when all it seems he has to look forward to is suffering and death.

But like Carla said, enjoy the spotlight.

Maybe that isn’t such bad advice. He gets to be here with Eddie, getting pampered and plumped up before they face their likely deaths.

Not terrible at all!

He wonders what Maddie thinks of all this, if she could see him right now what would she say? He thinks that she’d definitely approve of his outfit. Maybe she’d tear up a little and tell him he looks hansom. Buck knows that she’s watching right now from home. Are his parents watching too? What would they think?

He doesn’t really care what they think. They probably would be disappointed in him. Probably shame him for loving Eddie. But they don’t get a say anymore. If both him and Eddie manage to make it out alive, he’s never speaking to them again. They won't see a dime of his winnings. He’s going to move into the victors village with Eddie, and probably Maddie too, and leave them behind.

That is, if he even makes it out of the arena.

He’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t realize that his and Eddie’s intertwined hands have dropped and they’re pulling up to the training center aka the apartments.

--

When they enter the apartments, Buck is starstruck. The ceilings are massive; the furniture is the definition of luxury. The sofa is a soft silk and dark blue color. There’s gorgeous artwork hung on the walls that probably costs who knows how much, the shelves are decorated with all sorts of treasure and gold pieces. The dining table could seat an army. The place is huge.

And that’s just what he can see.

“This place…” Buck starts, “Is huge…” Eddie finishes.

“I don’t think I wanna know how much this place costs.” Buck walks slowly further into the room, jaw basically dragging along the floor.

He looks up and sees a crystal chandelier above the living room. It’s gorgeous. The blue shine of it reminds him of the waters at home on a sunny day. Just shining in the sunlight.

Carla’s heels are clicking behind them in a steady rhythm, “alright boys, this is where you will be staying until the games! I’ll show you guys around so you can see all the things!”

Both Buck and Eddie follow her as she blabbers on explaining some basic things that they know about. They’re not dumb, but maybe she just thinks they are?

They enter the first bedroom and it's huge, probably the size of Buck’s house back home in 4. The bed itself is massive. It’s covered in all kinds of decorative pillows and fluffy blankets. He rubs a hand on the fabric and feels the softness between his fingers.

He’s never really felt anything like it.

Buck notices that the apartment looks like it’s kind of ocean themed. Theres a lot of blue and gold décor, most of the paintings have some sort of water element to it. Some of the shelves have mini sculptures of various sea animals. It’s pretty obvious.

He wonders if all the apartments are themed for their district? Or maybe this one was just easy?

He’ll probably never find out.

Carla moves through the bathroom and the other bedroom that looks almost identical.

After Carla’s long ass unhelpful tour of the place, they get a moment to be alone before dinner, and then they get to sleep.

Buck and Eddie have ‘claimed rooms’ but they both know damn well that they’re sharing. They both want to be as close as possible for as long as they’ll let them.

They’d gotten changed out of all their parade makeup and outfits, even got to use the shower; which Buck should have listened closer on how to turn it on- because why is it a whole ass puzzle?! No shower should be this complicated.

Honestly, he almost gave up.

Now, he was in Eddie’s room, even though they were sharing, technically it was Eddie’s. It was also the furthest from the living space and the dining table.

They got into Eddie’s bed, under the blue fluffy blanket cuddled close to each other for as long as they could, worrying that these opportunities would be taken from them to soon.

They just sat in each other’s company, not saying anything, just breathing together. Buck rubbing patterns on Eddie’s stomach with his fingers, breathing little puffs of air onto his skin.

Eddie had a hand wrapped around Buck, holding him closer. Neither of them saying anything for an irrelevant amount of time. The day’s events still sinking in.

--

They eventually got called for dinner. It was strange to Buck because they had an Avox grab them for dinner. The young woman with black hair put up into a neat bun had opened the door and gestured for them to leave the room. Buck had tried to speak to her, but she didn’t answer him.

Hen, Karen, and their kids are still here already seated at the huge dining table, same as both Bobby and Carla.

Buck tried to ask about the Avoxes, why they didn’t talk back, what happened to them, but he was quickly shut down by the others. Apparently they had done something and are paying for their wrongs.

Buck knows it’s beyond cruel. These people getting their tongues cut out so they can’t speak. Getting forced into labor roles. Their entire identities stripped from them, being torn away from their families, their homes.

And so, he’s supposed to just sit here while they serve him, do things for him, do what he says? And he’s technically not supposed to speak to them, or else they get punished? He can’t even fathom how evil the capitol is and how it can be towards its own people.

People it's supposed to be protecting.

There’s nothing he could do about it now. He feels guilty for eating all of this food and having them just standing there in the corner watching, waiting for some kind of order.

Buck filled his plate with a very juicy looking steak, some potatoes, some sort of jelly fruit paste that looked disgusting, but was actually amazing once he tried it. (Eddie refused, he said it looked like it would give him some kind of disease.) “Buck no- don’t you dare put that on my plat- Buck!” Eddie was nearly in tears.

When dessert came around Buck was so full he could barely eat anything. Eddie laughed in his face as he shoved another brightly colored cupcake into his mouth.

As they were finishing up their meal, Bobby had answered more questions, told them what he knew vs what he didn’t. Buck tried pressing more on the avoxes, still being shut down again.

Bobby and Carla explained what they’re going to expect for the next few days.

They’re going to be seeing the tribute training center, where they’re going to be getting the ‘official’ training for the hunger games.

Bobby explained that this is good opportunity to try and make a few allies if they want any and to better scope out who may be a threat in the arena vs who may not be as much. But never underestimate any tributes to much, they could be better than they look.

Some tributes use that as a strategy in the games, appear weaker than they really are. “Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, if you will.” Bobby had told them.

Carla tried to sway them to try and ally with the other careers, it's like guaranteed sponsors and higher chance of winning. Because the careers usually win- it just makes sense.

“Carla, I’m just saying, I don’t think I want to ally with the tributes from 1, they were giving me a seriously bad vibe; and honestly, I think now is the time to be listening to my gut. I don’t want them as allies.” Buck told her.

“That’s good you're listening to your instincts kid but at least see them more in person tomorrow and maybe try and talk with them. They may change your mind. People can be surprising.”

“Bobby, I hear you, I really do, but I don’t think they’re gonna be up for a whole interview conversation to be our allies.”

“I’m not saying have a full-blown interview conversation,” Bobby throws air quotes, “but all I’m saying, is just see, they might surprise you.”

Eddie shifts in his seat.

“Eddie, what do you think?” Bobby asks, gesturing a hand to him.

“I’m gonna have to side with Buck on this one. While you guys weren’t looking, I saw them giving us some odd looks that just didn’t really sit right with me. I mean, not that we weren’t giving them judgement, but… I just don’t think so.” Eddie yawns.

“Well, okay, just please try. Goodnight boys, get some rest.” Bobby stands up, claps Eddie on the shoulder, and gives Buck a nod before walking off.

Buck and Eddie head back to their room and get back into those dark blue covers that have no right being this comfortable.

“Goodnight Eddie.” Buck whispers, propped up on an elbow.

Eddie, laying on his side sits up and meets his lips with Buck’s, grabbing the collar of his shirt pulling him closer, “Goodnight Buck.”

Chapter Text

All Buck knows for sure- is that it’s way too early for this. Why can’t the last few days of his life before entering the arena at least consist of sleeping in?

He blinks his eyes open and is met with an already awake Eddie staring at him with a sad smile on his face.

He wants to get rid of that look on his face, replace it with a real smile. But he understands why it looks that way. They’re here; living their final days in the capitol getting prepped for probably the worst- no, definitely the worst experience of their lives.

He just prays to whatever higher power may or may not be up there that they both make it out alive… or at least Eddie.

“G’morning.” Eddie murmurs, his smile going up and dying down quickly.

He props himself up on his elbow and Buck just stares back at him. the two sit in silence for a moment before Eddie sighs and leans back down into Buck, wrapping his arms around his torso, digging his face into his neck.

“I can’t do this today, Buck. I just can’t… I wanna be strong, I have to be I-I have to- for you, for my sisters. I…” Buck feels Eddie tremble in his arms, as he strokes a hand through his hair, brushing long strands on dark hair through his fingers.

“Hey, hey, it’s gonna be okay. No matter what happens today, or- or tomorrow, or even in that damn arena. Eddie you are single handedly the strongest person I know, even when you don’t feel like it. I know you, I know you got this. You’ve got me. We’re in this together.”

“We’re gonna be just fine.” Buck whispers, unsure he even believes it himself.

Because who fucking knows what’s going to happen in that arena. Sure, they have an advantage over several other districts, considering they were trained and all. But every tribute has their own disadvantages too, their own weaknesses and flaws.

Him and Eddie being here together is theirs. It’s their weak spot. Buck knows that if something were to happen to Eddie, it’d be over or him. It would break him; he’d never live again. Even if he did make it out. He’d be a shell of himself, hollow and cold, rotting away in the cold ocean, wanting to let the frigid water take him during high tide with the moon staring down at him, making that sad water beautiful again.

Yeah, he’d have Maddie, maybe just maybe his parents. Though they’d probably just be using him for the money. But it would never be the same, never be enough; no matter how many people he had in his corner.

They would never be Eddie.

He knows exactly what would happen if he made it out without Eddie.

If Eddie died in the arena, Buck would kill everyone responsible. Maybe try and stick it out till he physically can’t anymore. He might let the last person kill him, so he doesn’t have to live with the suffering. The pain of losing his person.

He just might. Unless it's some asshole who doesn’t deserve to win. If he failed at avenging Eddie the first time. He’d fight them till his last breath.

But Eddie is here now. He’s fine- sorta. But he’s still alive he’s living, breathing, here with him now, with his warm body pressed against his, his breath warm against his neck.

He’s going to enjoy this for as long as he can, take in the moment.

He’s scared he might wake up, and Eddie won’t be his anymore, he’ll be gone forever. Like maybe this is all some sort of dream, and he’s already lost everything. Maybe this is some sort of coping mechanism to losing Eddie in the arena.

Maybe he’s back in 4, rotting away in bed while Maddie tries to care for him like some dying fish washed ashore.

No, no, this is real. He hasn’t lost anything yet.

He’s terrified to lose Eddie and himself.

Part of him believed that if the time came and it was him or them, he would save himself. But part of him doesn’t think he could ever hurt someone or kill them. Even as much as he’s had to train for it.

How could the capitol be so cruel?

They’re just kids he’s still just a kid. They all are.

“But what if we’re not, Buck? What if we both die in that damn place and leave everyone?” Eddie moves his head to the side, his voice less muffled than before.

“But what if we are? What if we both make it out and live? We get to see our family again. I get to see Maddie; you get to see your parents and your sisters.”

“Probably not my parents,” Eddie scoffs, “they would either never wanna see me again or use me for money. I swear the second they realize we’re together if they haven’t already, I’m “not their son anymore.”

“Well, you’ll always have me, and Maddie.” Buck says as he leans down and presses his lips to to side of Eddies face.

“But I might not soon.” Eddie whispers back.

“Yeah, I guess so… but I’d rather die with you than live without you.”

“What about Maddie?” Eddie whispers.

“I know she’ll be okay.”

--

Eddie ends up falling back asleep in Buck’s arms while he dozes off, half asleep, Bobby comes knocking at the door, “Rise and shine boys! Breakfast is out on the table, come out when you’re ready, we’ll be waiting for you.”

It startles Buck awake, Eddie still sleeping like a corpse wrapped around him.

“Okay Bobby, we’ll be out soon.” Buck yawns out, squinting his eyes from the light seeping into the room.

--

The table is loaded with what Buck could only describe as an endless amount of food. He takes a seat at the head of the table while Eddie takes the seat to the left of him, tiredness still stretched all over both of their faces.

“How’d you boys sleep?” Bobby asks, setting his fork down on the side of his plate.

Eddie rubs his hands down his face and Buck yawns as he says, “Great actually, until well,” He gestures to the table, “y’know- not that I don’t want to see you guys, but…”

“I get it Buck.” Bobby says.

The table is silent for a long moment, Buck and Eddie piling food onto their plates, and the occasional fork scraping against plates.

Eddie yawns a few more times, head resting on one of his hands as he picks at his food.

“So, we should talk about how today is going to look,” Bobby starts, popping a strawberry into his mouth as he continues, “Hen and Karen will get your training outfits after breakfast, then we’re going to head off to the training center.

There you will have the chance to talk and observe other tributes. Who you may or may not want to ally with. Learn things about them. What they’re good at, what they’re not good at.

 Other Career tributes may want to ally with you; it's your choice whether or not to say yes. I’d advise you don’t say yes or no to any alliances until at least tomorrow, I’d like to talk it over with you both, make sure it’s the right move.”

Buck stays silent, processing what Bobby had just said. Eddie speaks up, “Okay, so get dressed, leave, observe, come back here, talk, make decisions?” Eddie clarifies.

“Yup, you pretty much got it- Oh wait! There’s one thing I forgot to ask you both.”

Buck and Eddie nod for him to continue.

“We never discussed the weapons you may be good at using. What are you good at, what can you fight with? What skills do you both have that could help you?”

Eddie looks over at Buck, unsure of what to say. Buck just nods at him to go on.

“Well, I know that Buck is good with a spear-“

“I’m alright.” Buck cuts in.

“Bullshit! I’ve seen your ass in the river with a spear, Buck, you’re much more than alright. And I’ve seen you train with spears during training, I know you can do it.”

Bobby clears his throat, “Well then Buck, please try and stay away from that weapon during training, you don’t want to give away that skill to the other tributes, they could take advantage of that and find ways to easily counter it in the arena.”

“Okay yeah, so just like, stay away from skills that we’re really good at?”

“Yes, exactly, don’t suck, but don’t show them your hand. Now Eddie, what about you?”

“He’s insane at throwing knives Bobby, oh my god you should see him, he hits every target I kid you not-“

“Okay, okay, that’s putting it on a bit thick don’t you think?” Eddie laughs, shaking his head at Buck, putting his fork back down.

Buck takes another bite of his food and says, “Okay and? It's true!”

“Okay okay, boys, can we get back on track?” Bobby says, eyebrows raised so high they could touch the ceiling.

“Yeah sorry.”

“Just try and stay away from skills like that you’re really good at, don’t give the others the advantage, look for possible allies, threats, and please, don’t hurt yourselves. If you get hurt, you’re going into the arena with that injury.” Bobby points at them, stern look on his face. Damn he really is serious about that-

“Now, chop boys! let’s get to it!” Carla says, springy as ever, clapping her hands together.

 But if Buck is being honest with himself, Carla is growing on him a little. He kinda appreciates the positivity she brings, but sometimes it's unwelcome considering where they are in the grand scheme of things.

Buck and Eddie finish their final bites of food and leave the table; he looks back and catches Eddie nod at Bobby and turn around to face him again and give him a small smile. Not the sad one from earlier, but more genuine and loving.

God he is so lost on this man.

It takes only a second from him to notice the slight blush on Eddie’s face, how the sunlight coming in through the window catches Eddie’s eyes, makes them look a beautiful golden-brown color.

He thinks back to the train, how the chandelier light had hit Eddie’s face. The peace in that moment, despite the Games lingering over their heads.

They walk back to their room in together, when Eddie shuts the door behind them Buck flops himself onto the bed, laying on his stomach, face down and yells into a pillow.

“What the fuck was that for?” Eddie laughs, climbing onto the bed with him, sitting with his legs crossed smiling at Buck with his head still in the pillow.

“Okay, c’mon Buck.” Eddie leans forward and takes the pillow off of Buck’s face.

“Hi there.” Eddie whispers.

“What? Why did I do this? Why am I here? Why did I do this? I wanna go home- wait, actually no. I know why I’m here. I’m here for you!” Buck groans and sits up, he leans forward and grabs ahold of Eddie, resting his forehead onto this shoulder. “And now you’re here, looking so handsome and amazing, and cute and I don’t wanna walk into that arena just to perish and lose you forever. And how the fuck do you look like that all the time?! You make me crazy!” Buck pouts into Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie kisses the side of Bucks head and moves him to be eye level with him. He gently grabs the side of Buck’s face and says, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Buck smiles, teary eyed.

Eddie kisses him on the forehead, then meets his lips with Bucks, they stay there for a few moments until Buck begins to giggle, and Eddie pulls back to a smile, and a tear running down Buck’s face.

Eddie wipes away the tear rolling down Buck’s face with this thumb, kisses his temple and gets up out of bed and walks to the bathroom while saying, “Better get ready for when Hen and Karen bring us our training outfits.”

Buck sniffles in response, “Yeah.”

Hen and Karen eventually bring their outfits, and the boys change into them. Now standing in their room in front of a big full body mirror with a golden frame, inspecting their outfits.

They’re identical to them and fit like a glove. They were each given a pair of black cargo pants, and a t-shirt in a dark green color with a pair of boots.

“You ready for this?” Eddie asks, putting his arm around Buck’s shoulder and pulling him into his side.

“Nope. Let's do this.” Buck smiles and begins to walk towards the door.

“Hey, wait- hold on,” Eddie takes a few big strides to Buck, “one more thing before we leave.” He grabs the side Bucks face and kisses him.

“Now we can go.” Eddie says and casually walks out of the room, hitting his hand on the doorframe as he exits the room.

Buck just stands there for a moment dumbfounded and smiling like an idiot.

Once Buck finally stopped standing in their room like a deer in headlights, they made their way to the training center.

Buck is honestly really nervous. He’s bouncing his knee where he sits and picking the dry skin off the side of his thumb, eyes focused on a smudge on the floor.

Eddie notices, of corse he notices. He always does, especially when it comes to Buck.

“Hey,” he whispers, reaching a hand over to the one Buck is picking at, giving him something else to hold onto.

Buck says nothing, just looks up at his boyfriend with anxious, slightly red rimmed eyes.

“It’s almost time for us to go in there, how about you take a few deep breaths with me?”

Eddie’s looking at him with those worried big brown eyes, the kind of look he only uses when Buck is spiraling, and needs calmed down. He’s seen him use it on his sisters too, but there’s a hint of something else saved just for Buck.

Buck nods his head and copies Eddie as he takes a long inhale through his nose, holds, and exhales through his mouth.

They do that a few times before Buck diffidently notices that he feels better. Eddie just wraps an arm around him as they wait.

Once they begin walking towards the doors to the training center, they immediately notice the different stations that Bobby mentioned, and handfuls of tributes gathered around them.

“Okay- well… where do we wanna start?” Eddie asked, slowly turning his head to look at Buck.

And wasn’t that just the question of the day?! The training center had boring concreate grey walls with black as an accent color across the bottom and tops of the walls. Some stations were elevated higher, some were lower.

The tributes all had their district numbers on their backs in a bold font. Made it easy to see who was who and from which district.

Buck noticed that the district partners seemed to be sticking together so far, no real big career pack yet, or any of the smaller districts teaming up yet.

He could handle that, if no one reaches out to them to become allies, then no worries! Though he does want to talk to tother tributes and try and get some kind of profile on them, it might be better to observe them and learn for now.

Buck takes a deep breath in and exhales as he says, “I don’t know.”

“Well, aren’t you helpful?”

“I’ll have you know, I am so helpful!” Buck exclaims offendedly, placing a hand on his chest.

“sometimes-“

“All the time” Buck interrupts.

Eddie chuckles as he grabs Buck’s hand and points, “How about we start over there, nobody at that one.”

“yeah okay,” Buck mumbles under his breath, “but I am helpful.”

Eddie just hums in response as he leads them to the knife throwing station, passing Taylor Kelly and her district partner along the way.

Buck noticed her from the corner of his eye; she was glaring at him. Great. Maybe staying away from her in  

“Didn’t Bobby say to stay away from things we were good at?” Buck asks as they both stop in front of display of knives.

“Yeah, he did… maybe I’ll just pretend to not be as good as I actually am?”

“But what if that ruins your form?”

“True… Okay then maybe we go to a different one- uhm”

“What the hell?”

Buck couldn’t believe what he was looking at. It was that girl from district 10 how the hell did they let her bring a rat into the training center. Buck and Eddie watched her at a fishhook station tying a rat's tail into the hook.

The rat caught in her grasp was squealing and thrashing round, basically begging to be let free. She held onto it with an iron grasp as she kept circling twine around its tail.

“Isn’t her name Gabby?” Buck whispered to Eddie.

“I don’t remember but that sounds right, yeah.”

They watched in horror as she picked up the hook with the rat dangling and squealing as she laughed at it. Her district parter standing on the other side of the table reached forward trying to get her to let the rat go but she dodged him and just kept laughing.

The rat fell to the floor at the sudden movement, blood trailing where it tried to run.

When the girl noticed she started to panic before she saw the trail of blood across the floor and began to follow it.

“What the fuck.” Buck mumbled, horrified.

“Did it just lose its tail?”

Buck really wants to stop looking. it's so disgusting. And honestly cruel, he cant even imagine the kinds of things she’d do to helpless people in the arena, especially younger or weaker ones.

Honestly he kind of wants to vomit, the rat is leaving streaks of blood across the grey concreate floor.

It's almost like Eddie is reading his mind when he starts to grab his hand and pull him away from the scene.

“Babe how about we go over here!” Buck grabbed Eddie’s hand and led them to the empty climbing station.

It had 4 sections to climb at: 2 rope climbing sections, and 2 rock climbing sections, each one a little different from the other.

Buck immediately headed to rock climbing while Eddie went towards the rope climbing.

They did each one with ease, having practiced climbing on all sorts of things back home, mostly when they were kids.

Buck still can’t shake the thought of that poor rat. It's just a rat; they set traps and kill them all the time at home. But that’s different. This one feels different.

They go around to a couple of stations as they finish, mostly aiming towards finding the empty ones.

Buck noticed as he and Eddie were at each station, Taylor Kelly and the team from district 1 kept giving Buck and Eddie judgmental looks and whispering behind their backs while starting.

“Eds,” Buck whispered as he nudged Eddie, trying to get his attention, “Eddie, Babe!”

“What Buck? I’m trynna focus.” Eddie turns his head to look at Buck. It has been a long day, he’s tired, and hungry and just wants to go back to the apartment to shower and sleep.

Buck feels the same, though he has found some information on each tribute, like how that girl from 10 is absolutely crazy, Taylor Kelly seems to hate Eddie and probably him to, and she also seems to be teaming up with Doug and Tommy from district 1, who also keep starting at them.

The siblings from district 2, the kids of Athena Grant, they seem to be a dream team, Buck would want them as allies if he were to have to pick anyone. He’s noticed that they're good fighters and climbers, it would be a good advantage to have in the arena.

If there’s a lot of trees in the arena having that advantage would be good to be able to see the big picture without being seen yourself.

“Eds, the team from 1, Doug and Tommy keep staring at us.”

“Oh yeah? Is it an “oh my god I wanna team up with them” kind of stare or an “oh my god eugh” kind of stare?” Eddie mocks, looking back down at the fishing line he’s trying to work on.

“I can’t tell. I think it's both, they're sending mixed signals- but I think it's more of like… they want to be allies with us until they remember we’re dating- wait. Do you think that- wait. Nah, I’ll tell you later. Time and place and all.”

Eddie laughs and shakes his head as he says, “Okay Buck.”

Buck is done for today, he’s tired, so he’s just sitting on the table watching Eddie do his thing, also trying to see if he can pick up anything on any other tributes, see what he can observe.

He turns his head to the left of him, the next nearest station to his, Lena Bosko and Lucy Donato, District 9, they’re arguing over something. He can’t quite make out what it is, but it probably has to do with the water spilled all over Lena’s shirt.

Buck wants to hit that station tomorrow, water purification. It looks interesting, he’s kinda mad him and Eddie didn’t get to it today, but there’s always tomorrow.

Both Lucy and Lena look like strong women, they definitely could put up a good fight.

A peacekeeper comes up to the pair form 9 and separates them.

They are so loud.

Buck wonders if all the tributes from 9 have anger issues, because it seems to be a running theme for them.

Once everything has calmed down, he glances over at Eddie, a super focused look on his face, strands of hair handing over his forehead. Buck could stare at him all day. And honestly, who here is gonna stop him?

Eddie looks up at Buck, who is already staring at him and laughs, “Can’t keep your eyes off huh?”

“Nope.” Buck says, popping the P.

Eddie can’t help but laugh.

After a minute he looks back up and stretches his neck, “I’ve been looking down so long my neck hurts, I need a nap too.”

“You and me both babe. When we get back we can just ignore all of Bobby’s questions and go take a shower and a nap?”

“sounds amazing right about now. You’re a genius.”

“I know.”

Finally, they get back to the apartments, exhausted, they both slump down onto the couch and close their eyes. Buck sat in the corner of the long sofa, his legs tossed up on the glass table while his head lays on the top of the couch cushion. Eddie decided the best spot was to nudge right up into Buck, laying his head down in Bucks lap.

“Rough first day?” Bobby asked, walking into the room and sitting on a chair in the corner, facing the two.

“Yes” they both say in unison.

“Tell me about it, what happened? Did you learn anything about the other tributes?”

“Bobby, we appreciate you, we really do, but can we take a nap first, or talk about this over dinner?” Buck said stretching out a yawn towards the end of his question.

“Sure kid, can I have them bring you guys anything?”

“No, I think we’re good Bobby, thank you though.” Eddie mumbled from Buck’s lap, eyes still closed, half asleep.

Buck nudges Eddie off his lap after a couple minutes of finding the energy to actually get up. He defiantly puts up a fight, grabbing his boyfriend's wrist and mumbling, “No, five more minutes.”

They both waddle into the room and Buck just stands there staring at the bed, then at the bathroom door and then at the wall. Eddie in a similar situation.

“I feel gross and wanna shower, but at the same time I wanna nap.”

“Nap.” Eddie demands as he takes his shoes off and his jacket, leaving them scrawled out on the floor without a care in the world.

He grabs the covers and the nearest pillow and Buck swears, the second his head hits the pillow he’s already fallen asleep.

Buck decides since he has a little more energy, he’s going to take a quick shower then get in bed and nap with Eddie.

Once he’s done with his shower and gotten into some much more comfortable clothes, just like Eddie, he’s out the second his head hits the pillow.

He dreams of things he never even thought possible.

——

“Okay boys, I gave you your nap time, tell me about training, what did you learn?” Bobby asked them the second they both sat down at the dinner table.

Buck looks at Eddie, “uhhh….”

“Great question Bobby, I’m not exactly sure where to start.” Buck admits.

“Okay then, how about this, what stations did you guys start off at? What ones did you hit and what ones did you not? And how’d you each perform while doing them.”

“Well, we started off at the climbing station, I think we did show off a little,” Buck peers over at Eddie who shrugs at him before continuing, “I mean it was easy, a lot of the other districts did the same on that station, especially district 9, they definitely did better than us.”

Buck and Eddie take turns explaining the couple of other stations they hit before mentioning the last one before they left for the day.

“That fishhook making station was the last one we hit, something to kind of take a break from the other more challenging ones, y’know?”

Bobby motions for them to continue.

“some of the tributes were interesting…” Buck began, “There was this one girl, she tied a rat to a fishhook by it's tail. It's tail, Bobby! That poor thing, it fell off of it's own tail and was bleeding out on the floor as she chased it. Like it was so gross, I was trying not to vomit, but thankfully Eddie pulled us away.”

Eddie cleared his throat, “Yeah once she caught it she threw it at the wall until it died. Like I don’t know what the hell is wrong with her.”

“Maybe lets stay away from her then. How about the other tributes?”

“Doug and Tommy, the tributes from 1 and Taylor Kelly seem to be making an alliance. I can tell Taylor Kelly will be a problem. Ever since the parade when she saw that I was with Eddie she seemed really interested in me, and then when Eddie showed up- boom! instant mood change.” Buck said, scooping food onto his plate.

Eddie, with a mouth full of food said, “Yeah she was definitely  glaring at us, it was kinda funny, but yeah definitely a problem.”

“Okay, good to know, anything else?” Bobby asked.

“Oh! Yes, the team from district 9- Lena and Lucy.” Buck started, taking a dramatic sip of water and placing the cup back on the table with a loud thud, “They seem to absolutely hate each other, but they don’t seem to be like… leaving each other? does that make sense?”

Hen, who’s been listening very intently to the whole thing, decides to speak up, “No, Buckaroo, not really.”

“Well- Eds you get it right? didn’t you see them? They like were arguing and bickering the whole time but wouldn’t like leave to go do their own thing separate from each other?”

Eddie side eyed him, “uhm, kinda? I wasn’t really paying attention to them all that much but sure.”

Buck waves a hand near Eddie, “See?! Eddie agrees with me, he gets it!”

“Okay I get it now Buckaroo, I hear you.” Hen said, in that motherly voice that Buck wished he would have had a chance to experience as a child.

His mother was always so cold to him.

Buck and Eddie got into their bed after dinner and more of Bobby talking with them about things to expect based off the stations that were there.

“There may not be easy access to clean water, so that water purifying station should be a good one to spend some time at, things like these give us a god hint to what’s going to be helpful in the arena.”

“Hey eds?” Buck asks, curled up into Eddie, laying his head down on his chest, their legs intertwined under what Buck swears is the softest blanket he’s ever felt, “What do you think the arena is going to be like?”

Eddie doesn’t respond for a bit, but hums while he thinks, “I dunno Buck. I’m kind of excited to see, but also scared, y’know?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Eddie wraps his arms around Buck’s torso and pulls him closer. Buck intertwines Eddie’s hand with his and brings his knuckles to his lips.

“Goodnight Eddie.” Buck whispers.

“Goodnight Buck,” He whispers back, planting a kiss into Buck’s curls.