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Chapter Text

Zoey was not supposed to hear what she heard but she had so heard what she'd heard and now she didn't know what she was supposed to do about it. She could barely process it. Wasn't sure she even understood it.

Numbly, she walked through the house, chewing on one of her nails, running the words over and over in her head.

By the time she reached Mira's room, she'd twisted her stomach all up in knots. Maybe she shouldn't tell the other girl. Maybe she should keep it to herself. But then that would make her no different, wouldn't it? Keeping the kind of secret that could tear them apart before they could ever be together. But she felt guilty even thinking that, like Rumi was somehow to blame for… for…

Mira's door swung open before she could knock and the older girl blinked down at her, "Are you okay?"

Before she could back out, Zoey said, "We have to talk about something and we can't do it here. Get your shoes and meet me out back."

Without giving Mira a chance to respond, Zoey turned and rushed away. She grabbed her shows before stepping out into the crisp night air and wrapped her arms around herself.

Mira showed up a minute later, adjusting her glasses and wearing a cute polar bear windbreaker. Zoey held up her finger and started to walk. She took the path that went up past the gardens that Celine and Rumi so often tended, continuing up towards the sacred tree that was the center of all of this. Towards the place where many stones that marked the resting place of hunters who'd come before them.

Only once she was sure they were out of earshot of the house did she actually start speaking, "I overheard Celine and Rumi arguing and it was kind of scary, you know? Rumi never argues with her like that but she was almost like shouting? I couldn't believe it."

"Rumi. Shouting."Mira sounded like she didn't believe it either.

"I know!" Zoey stopped next to a fork in the path, stuffing her hands into her pockets.

She liked to think she'd known them long enough to be friends. Nearly two years. Both girls actually listened to her; they let her speak, they asked questions or let her ramble or whatever. It was the first time in her life that she'd belong somewhere and now everything was—

"Zoey." Mira had her hand on her shoulder, "Breathe. Talk to me."

Zoey leaned into the touch, drawing warmth from it and swallowing the hard lump of longing before it could take root.

"They're hiding something," she said, voice tiny and scared. "Rumi wants to tell us. Celine doesn't."

She stared into Mira's beautiful eyes, suddenly afraid, not knowing how she was going to react. Zoey could barely understand how she herself was feeling. Conflicted, worried. Kind of scared for Rumi, actually. Relieved that Rumi didn't want to hide. A little angry that Rumi was going to obey.

"Promise not to say or do anything until I like, explain everything I heard?"

Mira blinked, "That bad? Okay. I promise."

"I think it's time to tell them." Rumi had her arms folded across her chest as she stared at the back of Celine's head. Her heart felt like it was stuck in ice. Rumi didn't want to have this conversation, she kind of wanted to run away, but the longer she lied to them, the worst it felt.

"You cannot tell them," Celine turned around, fixing her with eyes that felt like she was pitying her.

It made Rumi's hackles rise and she felt bolder than she ever had before, "I have to!"

Rumi stepped closer, "They're my friends. How can I be a friend if I'm lying to them? How can the Honmoon be strengthened based on a lie?"

"It's not a lie if you're omitting something." Celine turned away, pouring herself some tea. "And eventually it won't matter anyway."

Rumi ran her hands up her arms, feeling that ice spreading. It won't matter anyway. The patterns would be gone.

But what if they weren't? What if the patterns stayed, or what if it mean that she'd…The idea stuck in her chest but she dropped her arms to her sides. Could she die for this? Yes, she would, in a heartbeat. Could she die without ever telling them? That was more difficult of a question for her to answer, and yet she spoke, "They need to know. As hunters. As bandmates, as my friends they need to know."

"So what do you do?" Celine slammed her tea on the counter, "Tell them you have patterns? Tell them you're half-demon? They'll never be able to trust you in combat! What will that do to your song? Your harmony?"

"But lying—"

"I have spent two years drilling into all three of you what you need to do when you see a demon," Celine said, a tension in her voice that Rumi didn't understand. "What do you think they'd do if they saw your patterns? I will not lose you."

Rumi's throat clenched. Demons are the enemy. Demons only deceive. They get patterns when they make a deal with Gwi-Ma.

She tried to speak, tried to be quiet, and yet, despite the tightness in her throat the words came out more like a scream, "I can't help that I was born a mistake!"

That pity again, tinged with understanding. Sadness, "You have to hide it, Rumi. Until the Honmoon is golden and you can be free of your patterns. I wish it could be any other way."

Rumi's shoulder's sagged, "Our faults and our fears can never be seen."

"You debut soon. You have to be perfect," Celine said, her eyes looking at Rumi but not at Rumi. Looking at a past that Rumi had only ever guessed at.

"Rumi has patterns?" Mira asked, not sure she believed it. Not wanting to believe it. But Zoey was staring up at her, eyes watering, her breathing ragged.

Mira's was too. Her limbs felt heavy, her vision felt like it was narrowing as her heart slammed against her ribcage. She gripped Zoey's shoulders like the action could center her. Zoey was always good at centering her and Mira always tried not to think about that too much. She couldn't afford to linger on a crush…Especially not now.

"Born with them," Zoey replied, fingers digging into the fabric of Mira's shirt.

Somehow, that eased some of the pressure in her lungs. Mira exhaled, but didn't let go of Zoey. Honestly if she did just then she was likely to fall over. Then Zoey wrapped her arms around her and Mira hugged her back. The action, the affection—she pulled herself back together from the initial shock.

"Lets go over what we know," She whispered. "You become a demon by making a deal with Gwi-Ma."

"Right," Zoey nodded. "That gives you patterns."

"Hunters like us are brought together by the Honmoon."

"Like soulmates," Zoey winced. "I mean—"

"Like soulmates," Mira allowed, too in shock to dispute the idea like she usually would have. "And we fight demons."

"Kill them…"

Mira closed her eyes, picturing Rumi at the end of her Gok-Do, the blade at her throat. She immediately felt ill, "Celine taught us to hate them. To not think of them as human."

"That makes sense though, if we think there's something human about them, we hesitate and if we hesitate we die. But…" Zoey pulled away, just a little but still remained in Mira's arms, "Rumi is standing right there when she says that stuff."

Like she was being taught to hate herself.

"I don't know what to do," Mira admitted. "Rumi has never been anything but nice to us. Fuck I've…" She'd cried on her. Let Rumi hold her. Let Rumi patch her up from training injuries, bruises and cuts when they'd started hunting their first demons.

There'd been times too when Rumi had seemed distant, lonely. And she'd held her and Rumi had curled into her and—

What else had Zoey said? Born? Half-demon?

"Shit." She opened her eyes and looked down into Zoey's, seeing a determined, stubborn look on her face and almost hoping Zoey might know what to do.

"We could just like, yank her jacket off or something?" Zoey said before she grimaced, "Oh my god that would be horrible we can't do that."

Zoey then had the most horrible of thoughts, "Can you imagine if we found out another way? At a concert? In combat?! Mira we could hurt her and it would be instinct by then and it would be over before we had a chance to understand what was happening! We could kill her and not even realize until it was too late!"

"Then we need to get this in the open as soon as we can," Mira whispered. The longer it dragged on, the harder it would be to fight instinct and training and the more and more they'd lose Rumi to her hiding herself. The idea of her becoming afraid of them hurt like nothing else.

"Yeah, no arguing here."

"Maybe sneak into her shower," Mira suggested, face heating but desperate to think of anything that didn't involve Rumi on the end of her Gok-Do.

"No!" Zoey laughed, then the sound trailed off and she muttered, "I've dreamed about that but anyway this is Rumi, she's going to hide it forever if she thinks we'll hate her for it. And.. we don't, do we?"

Mira shook her head so quickly she felt dizzy, "No! No, I couldn't. She had no choice in this. Her choice is in lying to us which…"

Zoey shrugged, "Something we can talk out I guess. Once it's all in the open. But honestly I'd have lied in her place too."

Mira hated it but she knew Zoey was right. They were going to have to either get Rumi to tell them or confront her about it, neither of which sounded like it would be easy. They'd also couldn't do it around Celine too obviously. She might catch on.

Would she separate them? Worse, send them back where they came from? Going back to her family was not an option. Mira would rather live on the street and the idea of leaving Rumi and Zoey made her entire chest hurt.

"Hey guys!" Rumi's voice drifted over from just down the path and Mira stiffened, turning in her direction as she came into view, "What are you doing out here so late?"

She regarded them with some kind of fond amusement and Mira actually marveled at her. She was still Rumi, their leader, lovable dork who she high-key had a crush on. But somewhere under her jacket were patterns. Did they hurt? Burn her? What would they feel like to touch?

Mira opened her mouth but before she could ask Rumi if she had anything she wanted to tell them, Zoey interjected.

"Uh," Zoey said, then blurted out, "We're practicing kissing."

Wait what? Mira was suddenly pulled in, her lips crashing into Zoey's. It was electric, it was awkward, Zoey's lips felt amazing, one of them was making an embarrassing sound and then it was over too soon.

Mira stood there stunned.

"Oh," Rumi said, and in her dazed state Mira could still catch something like want in her eyes. Fear, even a little hurt? But why would she —

"Your turn!" Zoey let go of Mira and rushed to Rumi, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her too. Rumi made a little sound in her throat that rearranged every fiber of Mira's being. She stared at them until Zoey broke the kiss and led a stumbling Rumi over.

Mira wasn't actually sure who moved first, only that Zoey said something along the lines of 'and now you two' and then Rumi's lips were on hers and Mira was making an embarrassing sound. It lasted about as long as it had with Zoey which, again, was not near long enough.

"I think we need more practice," Rumi breathed, clinging to the both of them like that was the only reason she was still standing.

"It was pretty nice," Zoey said, face flushed and a nervous smile on her face.

Rumi just nodded.

"Good practice," Mira rasped, staring into Rumi's eyes. The want was still there, but the other emotions were replaced by something like a tentative happiness.

Here's what Zoey knew.

Rumi and Mira were her best friends. They were the first people in her entire life who looked at her and saw someone of value. Who listened and understood and didn't treat her like she was too much. Who didn't think she wasn't enough. Who trained and worked alongside her with enthusiasm and who listened to her input. She mattered. She mattered to them.

Here's what Zoey knew.

Rumi and Mira were her soulmates. The Honmoon chose them to be together. And before tonight she' never thought it was a romantic thing. But her heart had twisted at listening to that argument. But her stomach had knotted while she told it to Mira. Tonight, when she'd panicked about losing Rumi somehow and kissed Mira. When she'd kissed Rumi because not kissing her didn't feel right and she'd looked like she wanted it so badly that it felt like her heart was being torn out.

And now she can't get the feel of their lips out of her mind or the picture of her soulmates kissing each other like it was the most natural and safe thing in the world. Rumi had folded into them like they were safe.

Here's what Zoey knew.

Rumi was a half-demon.

She was born with patterns. She had been hiding them her whole life, probably. Which mean that she had been lying to them from the day they met.

Zoey turned that part over and over in her head, rotating it like a rotisserie and letting herself roast with it. The hurt, the anger, and fear she burned through first. Hurt at being lied to, the anger that she hadn't been trusted with such a huge part of Rumi's life. Scared of what it all meant. But not scared of Rumi. Scared for her.

Lots of worry gnawed at her for Rumi, but also about Mira, since Mira hid herself as much as Rumi did, just in other ways for other reasons. But hide she did, as much protection as Zoey hiding her colors.

But Mira had started to open up to them. Zoey worried that she'd close back up under the weight of her own emotions. Under the weight of this secret that Rumi didn't even know they shared with her.

Sighing, she sat up and got out of bed, turning on a desk lamp and opening her latest notebook. The last page she was on was simply two lists, the left side titled 'Boys' and the right side titled 'Girls' with the very top of the page scribbled 'Things I like.' Girls was about thirty lines and boys about fifteen and she'd scribbled a shrugging version of herself at the bottom.

Okay, new page. New title.

The title was important. Zoey had read plenty of fanfiction, she knew it was technically possible that Rumi could stumble onto this notebook and somehow find this page and read it and then immediately freak out that it was somehow bad.

So she wanted to make sure that there was no misunderstanding as to what it was about. Not that Rumi would snoop but it could somehow escape her room or something and Zoey needed her to understand at a glance.

Ways to get Rumi to come out to us.

Nope, she changed it to Ways to get Rumi to come out to us as a half-demon.

But that didn't look right either so she scribbled over it and wrote underneath;

• Ways to get Rumi to come out to us.

• Ways to get Rumi to come out to us as a half-demon.

• How to tell Rumi we know about the patterns and still love her?

"Hmm. All right," Zoey shrugged and started to compose a list. First was "More Kissing Practice" with four underlines—no five.

Zoey reasoned that if she got comfortable with intimacy it might be easier for them to talk to her about it and almost believed her own reasoning.

"Oh!"

• Casual intimacy

• Compliment patterned things? Compare Rumi to a tiger idk

That one led to Zoey sketching in her sketch book until she remembered she was supposed to be making a list and not assigning Rumi a fursona.

• Info dump on half-elves?

• Doodle tiger stripes on Mira's arm.

• Doodle tiger stripes on Rumi's arm.

• the tiger talk but turtles

• Seduce Rumi??

Zoey stared at the last one, then acknowledged to herself that Mira would probably have a better shot at that:

• Have Mira seduce Rumi for both of us

By the time she was done with her list, she knew she wasn't going back to sleep, so she got up and snuck into Mira's room to show her the list. And if she was honest, she also wanted to just see how into her and Rumi she actually was.

Rumi had never kissed anyone before. Never felt she was allowed to. Felt that between Celine and her patterns even trying would get her in trouble. Now she'd been kissed by Mira and Zoey, the two people she'd grown so close to the past two years. Too close, really. She hadn't even been given a chance to process what it felt like to watch them kiss before they'd pulled her in. And after that it didn't matter because they'd included her, like it was natural.

But it hadn't stopped there. She'd found them in the kitchen the next morning, both of them up unusually early, and they'd just… kissed her again. Gently, casually, and yet with some undercurrent she couldn't identify that left her heart racing and opened up a clawing need inside her chest.

More 'practice', they'd said, and she went with it because she didn't think any of them were ready to sit down and talk about their feelings. Because Rumi might be sheltered but she wasn't stupid. Friends did not kiss like that. And maybe if they did they didn't have those lingering looks after.

Or maybe Rumi was just projecting her own feelings.

She could not talk to Celine about it so she accepted that she was going to burn up until she actually cornered them on the kissing.

The kissing. The fact that she didn't want it to stop was probably one of the first honest wants she'd accepted for herself. That she wanted to keep kissing her friends. Even if she couldn't let them be more than friends, not until they made the Honmoon golden in however many years that might be.

They touched her too. Nothing inappropriate, but Mira's hand on the shoulder here, Zoey touching her cheek, both of them holding her hands, stroking her forearms. They didn't go higher than that, which was a relief, but it was distracting in the nicest of ways.

What would it feel like for them to touch higher. Would the patterns burn them? Would they accept them? Run from her? Would they attack her?

A week of this. Then two, training and practice and all those touches and glimpses. Sometimes Mira whispered words about how beautiful she was while a hand rubbed her arm and Zoey would smile at her and call her pretty.

If she hadn't already fallen in love with them, she would have anyway.

Rumi was so distracted thinking about hands and lips and the way Mira's sleeve had slid down to reveal her shoulder that she didn't realize Zoey had joined her in the garden until she plopped onto the bench next to her.

"Wassup?" Zoey nudged her elbow, "Wanna see something cool?"

Blinking, Rumi smiled, "Of course!"

Last night before bed, Zoey had talked about tigers for over an hour and Rumi—who could never get enough of Zoey info-dumps—had listened with rapt attention. Zoey had seemed particularly enamored with their stripes which had made Rumi feel warm, and soft, and fuzzy. Made her entertain the idea that maybe Zoey wouldn't freak out about her patterns for all of three seconds before she had to squash that fantasy.

Mira dropping in and doodling tiger stripes on all three of their arms and proclaiming them 'hot' had given Rumi an entirely different but no less pleasant warmth.

She still had the drawing that Zoey had made of her as a tiger and tacked it up on her wall. For reasons they couldn't possibly know, it had made her cry.

"Turtles." Zoey opened a folder filled with things she'd printed off of the internet, "I've always wanted one, you know? The cool thing about them and a lot of the other reptiles are that they have really pretty patterns on their skin. See? This one has all these yellow stripes."

Would Zoey really think her patterns were… pretty? Like the turtle's? Would Mira call them hot, like the tiger's? She couldn't let herself entertain the thoughts, but entertain them she did.

Rumi's throat bobbed and she focused so she could listen to Zoey's beautiful voice as she excitedly shared the wonderful world of turtles with her.

Then Mira sat on Rumi's left side and ran her fingers along the side of her neck, "I see Zoey cornered you."

"Ahhnnit's okay," Rumi gasped. She glanced at Mira and immediately looked back at Zoey because in no way was she prepared to see Mira look at her with that eyeshadow and that heat in her eyes and a top that left her neck and shoulders exposed. Rumi swallowed the desire to get some kissing practice in on that whole entire expanse.

Mira continued to try to distract her as Zoey kept talking about different patterns in nature. Fingers on her shoulder and neck, then soft lips against her ear.

She actually whined Mira's name, "I'm trying to listen to Zoey…"

Zoey's giggle didn't help matters, "It's okay, you look like you're enjoying yourself." She leaned up, kissing her lightly on the lips, "I like seeing you two like this."

"Same when it's you two," Mira murmured, just before something warm and wet ran along the shell of her ear and the only reason she didn't bolt was that both of the girls were gently holding her down.

But Mira pulled back, peering at her intently, Zoey calmly stroking her hand with her fingertips. She looked between them, taking deep breathes.

"Sorry." Mira's fingers were in her hair, rubbing against her scalp, "Do you want me to stop?"

"That's the problem," she squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't. Not whatever this is, not the kissing, I don't want any of it to stop but I should stop it."

Zoey exchanged a look with Mira, then met Rumi's eyes, "Because we're girls?"

Rumi shook her head, throat constricted.

"Rumi." Mira's fingers stilled, much to Rumi's disappointment, "We're going to say something. I need you to promise me you'll let us finish."

Her eyes were serious, but there was affection, love, understanding. Knowing.

Knowing. Rumi glanced at Zoey, who wore a soft but tense smile, the same emotions in her eyes.

Tiger strips, turtle patterns, caresses against her skin, kisses and gentle affirmations. That patterns were pretty, patterns were hot, they were natural.

They knew. It was a relief and a terror all at once and Rumi froze in place.

Mira could see the exact instant that Rumi realized they knew. Confusion and fear reaching her eyes but also something that could have been hope. Her nails dug into Mira's leg and Zoey's arm. Mira prayed that Zoey's list had created enough of a runway for them to land this thing as she cupped Rumi's cheek, "Yeah. We know you've been hiding a huge part of yourself. And we love you anyway."

Rumi started to tremble, so Zoey took her hand, "And we want you to know it's okay. It's okay to tell us, we're not going anywhere. The Honmoon chose us for you. It chose you and Mira for me."

In the most tender voice she could manage, Mira whispered, "You're not a mistake."

Almost seeming to fold in on herself, Rumi whimpered, "I'm…not?"

She wasn't trying to run, which was more than Mira could have hoped for. She kept her hand on her cheek, searching for the words to express the way she felt. Trying to position herself so that Rumi didn't feel trapped but also couldn't run away from this.

But it was Zoey who had the words and god did Mira fall in love with her just then, "How can you be a mistake when the world brought you to us? When your voice fills my lungs with oxygen and your smile warms me like the sun?"

"You make me want to be better," Mira managed, feeling like it paled in comparison to Zoey's words. Feeling like it wasn't nearly enough so she poured everything she couldn't say into her eyes.

Rumi's fingers kneaded at her leg and her eyes fell to the remaining stains of ink that had been the tiger stripes Mira had drawn on her. Suddenly she let go of Mira and Zoey both, clawing at her shirt, "Help… off..help…"

Mira's fingers grabbed the hem of Rumi's shirt but she hesitated, glancing at Zoey, then back at Rumi.

"I can't breathe I need it off!"

"Okay," Zoey said, and together they yanked Rumi's shirt off of her.

Rumi's patterns ran around her shoulders and part of her biceps, looping down a bit on her back and then down into a simple white bra. She panted, moving to cover her arms but Mira grabbed one and Zoey the other and they held her hands as Rumi shook like she wasn't sure if she was going to bolt — or that Mira and Zoey were going to run, or worse.

It broke Mira's heart. In another life Rumi would have kept this secret, she knew. Out of fear and obligation until it festered into something that could have destroyed her. Destroyed them.

Mira couldn't be mad at her for it, "You're beautiful, Rumi." She leaned her head down and kissed a pattern on her shoulder. It didn't feel any different from the rest of her skin, just a simple purple color, almost like a tattoo, "And so are these. I want to kiss all of them. All of you."

The flush that ran from Rumi's face and down to her chest actually looked adorable when mixed with the patterns. Mira flicked her eyes back to Rumi's face.

Zoey wiped at tears that kept running down Rumi's cheeks, "Can you do something for us?"

"… maybe?" The trembling was slowing, growing less intense as Rumi rode out what was clearly a fight or flight response.

Mira let out a soft chuckle and Zoey just smiled brightly as she said, "Say it. Say it out loud. Say 'I'm beautiful and my patterns are beautiful.'"

Rumi shook her head, "But—"

"Rumi," Mira trailed her finger along one of Rumi's patterns, tracing it as it looped around her shoulder to her back. "It's okay. Say it."

"Saying it won't make it true…" She looked at them, wide-eyed and still trembling, but the panic and fear in her eyes had faded. There was something else there. Mira cupped her left cheek as Zoey continued holding Rumi's other, and stared into Rumi's eyes.

Hope. Cautious and wary, but hope.

"Just try it." Zoey rubbed her thumb along Rumi's cheek bone. "And I'll keep telling you until you start to believe it."

"Me too," Mira promised, like she was pledging her life to her.

"I'm beautiful," Rumi said. "And…" She exhaled slowly, "And my patterns are beautiful."

Zoey's smile was matched watt for watt by Mira's. Mira leaned in, kissing the corner of her mouth, "Good girl…"

She got a blush out of Rumi for that and soft, hopeful sort of laugh, "I don't know if I believe it yet but… that felt good." Rumi blinked her eyes, leaning into the two of them as her tears overwhelmed her. She pressed her face against Mira's neck, pulling Zoey as close as she could.

"We've got you," Zoey whispered.

"Always." Mira kissed the side of her head, moving an arm so she could be touching Zoey too. Like completing the circuit.

"What the hell is this?"

Mira looked up as Celine came towards them with all the fury of a typhoon. Blandly, she replied, "This isn't— actually this is probably exactly what it looks like."

Celine came to a sudden stop as she took in the full extent of the situation; Rumi only her bra, her patterns visible to the world, Mira and Zoey's hands on her.

Mira shifted, enough to put part of herself between Rumi and Celine. She wasn't sure why, she didn't expect Celine to physically hurt Rumi, but she wanted to protect her and the fragile, blooming acceptance that she'd seen in Rumi's eyes.

"So Rumi's a half-demon, what about it?" Zoey asked, standing up, her hand still gripping one of Rumi's, "She's still Rumi."

"You can't blame her for something she was born with," Mira added. "For fucking genetics."

Celine stood there, eyes darting between the three of them as she stood there still as a statue in what Mira could only guess was shock. She stood as well, one hand resting pointedly on the patterns on Rumi's shoulder and the other holding her other hand.

"Be that as it may," Celine said, after another moment of working her jaw. "They are still not something to showcase to the world."

"I'm beautiful, and my patterns are beautiful," Rumi said. Not loudly, quietly, but enough that Celine could hear.

Mira looked at her, at the set to her jaw, the way her eyes were shining as she stood and stepped into place between them. And god, she loved her.

"Of course you're beautiful," Celine replied, her expression softening.

"And my patterns are beautiful," Rumi repeated, louder, almost like she was convincing herself of what was a simple fact to Mira. But Celine averted her eyes with a sigh and Mira squeezed Rumi's shoulder.

"They are," Mira said, eyes locked on Celine's face. Daring her to say any different, daring her to say something to give her an excuse to say what she was really feeling about Celine just then.

"So fucking beautiful," Zoey confirmed.

"What do they call it? Ride or die?" Celine asked no one in particular. She sighed, again, and finally looked at them, "It's done and can't be undone. But you are going to have to keep them hidden, do you understand? You can eventually pass them off as tattoos but the industry will try to destroy you as soon as you do because it is not kind to people who are different. And this!"

She gestured at the three of them with both of her hands, "Whatever this is you have going on—and don't think I haven't noticed you two trying to seduce her—the world is definitely not ready for that. It wasn't when I was your age and it hasn't changed as much as I might have hoped."

Rumi was silent a moment, Mira feeling her hand tighten in hers before she spoke, "I'm not hiding from them and that's the most important thing. But I don't want to hide any of this from the world either. So … after our debut— we'll see how it goes— but for our next album maybe we can tailor it around my patterns in some way."

She looked at Zoey, then Mira, "And I'm not ready to share whatever this is with the world anyway. I want more time for us to figure it out and then some time just to have them to myself. But when we do and when I'm ready, I'm not hiding that either."

"Does … this mean we're dating?" Zoey's words were punctuated with a nervous laugh.

"I hope so," Mira whispered.

"Kissing practice, you guys?" Rumi looked at them, "I know I'm naive but that was not platonic."

"It could be if friends aren't cowards," Mira pointed out. "…but it wasn't."

"Listen I panicked that night," Zoey flailed her free hand. "And we weren't done trying to figure out what to do to get you to talk to us about what I heard and it was the first thing that came to mind."

"Very telling," Mira smiled, brushing some hair out of Zoey's face. "Your mind fascinates me."

Realization dawned in Rumi's eyes and she shook her head, "You … overheard that argument."

"Yeah. Sorry, it wasn't on purpose."

"It's okay." Rumi leaned into Zoey a little bit, "Really, really okay."

Celine stared at Rumi the whole time, saying nothing and studying her with an intensity that made Mira want to shrink away. She didn't, but she felt it.

Then her eyes moved to Mira, and Zoey, "Her heart and her life are in your hands. And yours in hers. Don't squander it."

Then she turned on her heel and walked off, back stiff. Mira watched Rumi as Rumi watched Celine walk away, throat bobbing, a need written on her face. Please tell me they're beautiful…

But Celine said nothing as she headed into the house.

"Give her time," Zoey said, wrapping her arms around Rumi.

"I've given her nineteen years," Rumi said, voice thick. "How much more time can she possibly need?"

It mattered to Rumi, obviously, and that was the only reason it mattered to Mira. Because she'd worked it out in a night. Less than that, even.

She hugged Rumi from the other side, and stood there with them both a little while longer, just holding Rumi until she thought Rumi could hold herself again, "I'm proud of you, Rumi."

Rumi smiled through her tears, looking at the pattern on her arm like she really was willing to believe they were beautiful, "I'm proud of myself too."

Chapter Text

They'd all been working hard and not just training for and actually slaying demons; their first single was done. Release date had been set. Their promo would begin in a few days and their choreo had already been drilled into them relentlessly by Mira.

Zoey would very much like Mira to drill relentlessly into both of them in other ways but they hadn't even had a date yet. Lots of 'practice kissing' though.

As long as they were on the compound there was no risk of cameras and they would have to get used to that risk after their debut, but for now she stole kisses every chance she got and her girls did the same thing.

Sometimes? Even right in front of Celine.

Usually that had their mentor sighing. Occasionally that got a lecture about polite society and not sticking one's tongue down a bandmate's throat where anyone could see, Mira.

It was going to be really hard putting that genie back in the bottle and not acting super gay around them when they were doing promi or just existing in the public eye. Not when she loved them as much as she did. They were soul mates.

For the time being, Zoey would behave but she was going to pay close attention to the general fan reaction of their debut, especially since she'd written one of their songs for the upcoming album to be extremely sapphic while still being plausibly deniable.

It would be a good metric to see how people reacted and the little pride she felt when Rumi and Mira had agreed with her had fueled her for two entire weeks.

She hummed the melody to that one as she traced her finger along one of Rumi's patterns, before leaning in and kissing her there, right on the shoulder.

"I've been thinking," Rumi said, shivering and leaning into Zoey a little.

"Dangerous," Mira remarked.

"Shut up." She threw a pebble at her, "We're going to be out in the public soon and once we do we're not going to be able to do things as easily as we can now. Like sneak out. So uhm. And this has been on my mind since we started kissing and stuff…"

"And stuff?" Zoey giggled.

"You .. know." Rumi moved her hands in a way that was completely indecipherable, "Stuff!"

"Making out?" Mira guessed, raising her eyebrow.

"Yeah that."

Zoey giggled even more before she regained control over herself, "So what's been on your mind?"

Rumi went quiet for a moment, rubbing one of her fingers against her palm, face pink, "I … want to take you both on a date."

Mira sat up straighter, a wide smile spreading across her face that Zoey was sure was mirroring her own, "A date? Like… romantic type date and not hanging out type date?"

"Yeah." Rumi lifted her gaze, looking between them and her blush deepened, "If you want."

Face almost as pink as her hair, Mira nodded, "Yeah. Yeah I'd like that."

"Fancy? Casual?" Zoey scooted closer to Rumi and battered her eyelashes at her, "I kind of wouldn't mind fancy."

"We're going to have to go to so many fancy events," Mira pointed out. "It will make your head spin."

"Yeah but none of those will have us dressing up to make Rumi's brain explode."

"I vote fancy," Mira replied immediately.

Rumi's laugh had Zoey's heart doing flip flops and squishing all at once, "You two are impossible."

"Do you know where you want to take us?" Mira asked.

Zoey nodded, scooting closer to her and propping her chin on her shoulder. She'd convinced Rumi to wear tank tops when she could. She understood she'd have to wear sleeves when they went out into the world, but Zoey was determined that Rumi continue to think of her patterns as beautiful. And the best way to do that was exposure therapy.

If she got to ogle Rumi in a tank top, well that was just a bonus and from the look in Mira's eyes whenever she didn't think they were looking? Mira agreed.

"There's a couple places on the island," Rumi said. "So we wouldn't have to go far and Celine would be less likely to object. Plus they already know her and I'm willing to take advantage of— don't say a word Mira."

Mira grinned, "I wasn't not going to call you a nepo baby."

Rumi groaned and shoved her palm against Mira's face while Zoey cackled like a hyena.

When they'd first learned of Rumi's patterns, one of the tactics they'd used to try to get her to open up to them had been… kissing. Affection.

And lots of it.

That hadn't really changed since. If anything there was more of it, and Mira was so happy for that. A few years ago she'd have never believed where she'd ended up. About to debut as a hot new group. Madly in love with both of her bandmates and getting to kiss and hold them on the daily.

She also got to be a bad ass with a Gok-Do who killed demons on the side.

She didn't have words for it. Mira was just so … happy. The Honmoon had led her to a family that actually cared about her.

However, she had a problem when it came to her upcoming date; compared to the home she'd run away from, her wardrobe was lacking. Oh, Celine had taken them to get several dresses and outfits for their promo work, but that wasn't the same thing.

She stood outside the kitchen as Celine prepared breakfast, trying to sum up the courage to ask her for help. It wasn't just that this was basically Rumi's mom, though that was a part of it. Mira was protective of Rumi and she still hadn't decided where her feelings about Celine making her try to hide actually sat.

Rumi still didn't always believe them when they told her they loved her patterns.

But Celine had been somewhat reasonable since she found out they'd found out about them. And that they were … well whatever they were. Mira wasn't sure yet if she could call them her girlfriends but she'd like to.

So she was willing to give Celine whatever leeway Rumi was willing to give her because she was at least trying, and Rumi deserved to take the lead in that. Celine still managed to run laps around Mira's mother even if that was a pretty easy race to win.

Celine inclined her head to the side without turning around, "Yes, Mira?"

Of course she'd noticed.

"This is going to be awkward so I'm just going to come out and say it," Mira said. "Rumi wants to take us to dinner. On a date. And it'll be fancy and I don't want to wear something that we'll be using for promo and events."

"You want it to be just for them," Celine guessed. She turned around, eyeing Mira up and down, "We'll go after breakfast. And take Zoey."

That was … easy? Mira straightened a bit and nodded, "Uh. Thanks."

"It will give us all a chance to talk," Celine said, before turning back to the stove.

Maybe Mira had thanked her too soon.

She put it out of her mind for breakfast, focusing instead on watching Zoey and Rumi. Rumi was relaxed, laughing as Zoey told her about a caterpillar she'd found in the garden earlier. Mira leaned her chin on her hand, just taking the two of them in. Zoey reached out, brushing her fingers along Rumi's arm in a manner that was almost subconscious. Mira had done that more than once too.

Rumi didn't shy away, leaning into the touch and Mira made a quiet, contented sound deep in her throat. She caught Celine looking at her and ducked her head.

In the car, Celine didn't say anything until they were settled and moving fast enough that there'd be no easy escape. Mira, unfortunately, was in the front seat with Zoey in the back, so she had Celine's full focus.

"Do not take any of this the wrong way," Celine said, glancing at her in a way that had Mira sinking back into the seat. "I support all three of you. But that doesn't make my concerns any less real."

"Is this … is this the shovel talk?" Zoey asked. For some reason she almost sounded excited and Mira had to wonder if one or both of them were about to be ejected from the car. She actually caught herself looking for an eject button like this was one of those spy movies Celine seemed to love.

"That— that is actually not what I'm worried about." Celine sighed, fingers tightening on the wheel, "You've proven to have the best of intentions. Better than I ever expected or hoped for, honestly. That won't prevent arguments and misunderstandings, that's just a normal part of any relationship. But … She couldn't have better hands to hold."

Mira opened her mouth, then closed it. That wasn't what she'd expected and now she didn't know what to say. She looked back at Zoey, and Zoey smiled at her before speaking, "I'm guessing its the whole rest of the world."

"Yes." Celine looked at her in the mirror, "I won't say things aren't better than when I was your age. But they aren't better enough. Especially in the industry you're about to be thrown into. They'll no sooner accept your affection than they will Rumi's … tattoos. The fans can be bad enough but the press will be brutal. I only hope your media training has been enough."

"I don't think it'll be as bad as all that," Zoey replied. "But I'm also not planning on running around kissing them everywhere and wearing rainbow flags just yet."

"Just be careful, for your sakes as well as hers."

Mira studied Celine for a long moment. She remembered a photo Rumi had from when she was a baby. Her mother holding her in her arms, Celine seated next to them, her gaze on Miyeong, her face full of longing and love.

Oh.

Mira turned her eyes to the view outside her window, and wondered just how much of the Sunlight Sisters Celine saw in Huntrix.

Their first date had to be perfect. Rumi had planned it carefully, had used everything she'd learned from Celine about how to get their way when they needed it to make sure they had reservations in a private room. She actually didn't like how that felt, but knew she'd do it again if she had to just to ensure they had privacy on any future dates.

She didn't think they'd get a chance for awhile, which was why this first one had to be perfect.

If step one was reservations, step two was an outfit. Rumi really wanted to wear something sleeveless if only this first and last time, but her patterns had to remain hidden still. Having Zoey and Mira constantly reinforce their love of them helped but also made her chafe a little at the idea of wearing sleeves. Which was a baffling feeling.

Once that minor panic attack had passed, she settled on a sleeveless white dress before painstakingly painting coverup along her shoulders and arranging her hair loosely to cover her back where she couldn't reach. Not wearing her braid would also reduce the chance of being recognized and meant she didn't have to ask for help to paint her back.

While Mira and Zoey were not yet in the public eye, Rumi was the daughter of Ryu Miyeong. She was known and the braid was iconic.

Okay, she told herself.

Dress ready. Make-up on. Just need to make it to the restaurant without dying of nerves. Easy.

Stepping out of her room, she slowly made her way down the hall and into the living room. Celine looked up from her laptop and blinked. A smile slowly spread across her face, "You look beautiful."

Rumi's throat tightened as unexpected emotions rose up and choked her. Someday, hopefully sooner than later, she might stand here without cover up and maybe… Maybe Celine would still think she was beautiful. Rumi realized how badly she wanted that. It hurt to swallow down, but she didn't want to let it spoil their night.

Fabric rustled and Zoey stepped out of the kitchen. Her dress was knee length, a blue that shimmered slightly. Her hair was loose, bouncy around her shoulders and down her back and her make-up reminded Rumi of twinkling stars. It was unfair how pretty she was.

Her mouth hung open.

"Yeah, same," Mira's voice startled her, just before she followed Zoey out of the kitchen. Her dress was longer, a deep maroon in color, a slit up the right side that made Rumi feel like she was going to have a heart attack. That was an unfair attack upon her person.

But they looked at her the same way she looked at them; with nervous, wondrous awe.

Rumi didn't move. Or say anything. Or breath. She could barely think. Their eyes were locked on her like she was the most precious thing in the universe. Which was false.

Because they were.

Celine—who had been looking between them with an amused if somewhat wistful expression—cleared her throat, "I've taken the liberty of bringing in your new driver. I thought this a good excuse for you to meet him, and a good test of his NDA."

Her voice softened, "Have fun."

Before Rumi could make her feet work, Mira took Zoey's hand and gently pulled her over. Rumi reached out automatically, gripping Mira's other hand before tugging them both out of the house. Mira's hand was warm, and Rumi couldn't tell who's was sweatier but she gripped back tightly like she didn't want to let go ever.

Rumi had intended to stick Zoey between her and Mira since she was the smallest of them so it made sense in some part of her mind but her girlfriends were sneaky and she wound up in the middle. Both of them pressed on on either side of her and she stared straight ahead as her body lit up like a christmas tree at the contact.

A category five too gay to function moment complete with an involuntary gasp.

"This was your idea," Zoey said, hand on her knee. "So you get to be in the middle."

"We'll switch around," Mira added, hand on her other knee. "Don't worry."

How they were functional was a mystery to Rumi, but she managed to greet their driver before he started doing that thing. Driving. The car.

"Relax," Mira said, worrying at her lip before adding "Jagiya."

Rumi's head whipped around so fast she smacked Zoey in the face with a curtain of hair. As Zoey giggled next to her, Rumi watched Mira grow flustered and pink faced. With equal if not greater levels of fluster, she whispered, "How can I relax when you say something like that?"

Mira lifted a hand, brushing some hair out of Rumi eyes, "Do you like it?"

"I love it…"

"She's right, aein, you really should relax." Zoey tugged on Rumi's arm and dazed, Rumi turned towards her.

She'd prepared a lot for this date.

The reservation, the timing, some gifts she'd hidden in the car. Rumi had not at all been prepared for pet names and endearments and she felt like her heart was going to explode.

Relaxing was definitely not happening if they were going to do that.

Especially not when they started trying out words.

Baby, sweetheart, princess. That last one, on a low rumble from Mira, sent a shiver down Rumi's spine that made her gasp. Mira looked exactly like the proverbial cat to Rumi's canary.

She kissed Mira to try to wipe the smile off her face. Zoey made a protesting sound, tugging Rumi over to kiss her too, which quickly escalated into a tug of war where each time Rumi was pulled in one direction or the other, she was kissed.

This was something that kept happening to her and her only complaint was she really wanted to switch places with Mira or Zoey sometime and pass one of them around instead.

Their driver said nothing and Rumi managed to swat her girls away long enough to attempt to fix her make-up. Considering part of their training had included on the fly make-up and cover-up for bruises and cuts, she thought she managed pretty well.

As a little bit of revenge, she made each of them sit still as she meticulously fixed their make-up, getting as close as she could in the process and if she was really, really honest with herself, reveling in their reactions.

Mira was stiff, red faced and breathing a little roughly by the time they reached the restaurant and Zoey wasn't doing all that much better. Pleased with herself and looking appropriately smug, Rumi nudged Mira, "You need to get out first."

Mira slid out of the car gracefully, turning and offering her hand. Rumi took it and allowed Mira to guide her out and laughing in surprise when Mira guided her into her other arm and against her waist. Zoey got the same treatment and for a moment the two of them were leaning on Mira, who looked appropriately smug herself.

Zoey spun out of Mira's grip, taking Rumi's free hand for the walk inside, letting go only to get the door for them.

"It's not a competition," Rumi laughed.

"It is now," Mira retorted.

Shaking her head, Rumi signaled the driver over and whispered a few things to him. He nodded and smiled reassuringly, and then Rumi was pulled inside. Once they were in the private room, she discovered one of her requests had been honored. The table was round, not square, which meant they could sit and still be able to look at each other.

Conversation wasn't much different from what they usually talked about. They got into a heated discussion about one of the dramas they were watching, the tension only broken when Zoey segued into something she'd read online about the horses from the last episode which evolved into Zoey explaining everything she'd read after getting stuck on Wikipedia for two hours poring over horse facts. Rumi decided that horses were clearly eldritch abominations.

Even when they were arguing, they were so beautiful. Or maybe it was the passion that came out as they talked. Rumi was enraptured.

Twitterpated as Zoey might have called it.

She drifted out of the conversation, smiling so wide her cheeks hurt, watching Zoey and Mira verbally spar about … something she was only really half paying attention to. A giddy feeling bubbled up inside her, akin to joy.

"I love you."

Rumi clapped a hand over her mouth as first Zoey then Mira turned towards her, both stunned into silence.

Before they could say a thing, someone knocked.

"Come in," Rumi called out in an effort to pretend that hadn't happened.

Their driver stepped inside, bowed, and placed a box next to Rumi. She thanked him, face heating up because Mira was still staring at her and so was Zoey and maybe she'd just ruined everything and the Honmoon was screwed.

Once they were alone again, Rumi opened the box and pulled out two smaller boxes. She slid one over to Zoey and the second to Mira and tried to pretend she hadn't just puked her heart out all over the table, "So uhm anyway. I got you something…"

Zoey looked like she was going to say something, but instead she opened her box and sucked in a breath, "Oh Rumi…!"

She pulled out a necklace with a dangling gold heart pendant, and engraved into it were—

"—Patterns," Mira breathed, lifting out her own gold heart, with similar engravings.

Each had different patterns, but they matched ones on Rumi's skin as closely as she'd been able to get. Rumi couldn't quite look at their faces, afraid to see their reactions and she spoke quietly, "You love them, or so you keep saying. Keep trying to make me believe. So I thought that maybe… maybe I could give you something with them. Something of me, give you my heart with the patterns carved into them…"

Someone sniffled and Rumi wasn't entirely sure it was her or one of them. She raised her head and Mira's face was streaked as she cradled the necklace against her chest, "I love it." Mira brought it to her lips and kissed it while staring at her with watery eyes, "I love you. Both of you. More than I can say."

Zoey scrambled to her feet, planting a kiss on Mira's head before she latched onto Rumi tightly, "I love it too, I love you too. You're my soul mates and you're everything I never knew I needed until I met you."

"I didn't get you anything," Mira murmured. She got up, stepping around her chair and enveloping both of them in her arms.

"Your love for me is already on my skin," Rumi replied, shaking her head.

"Yeah, but we'll still find something for you," Zoey promised. "With something of us on it."

Rumi swallowed and leaned into them, "I'd love that…" She hoped they'd get something for each other too. That was just as important to her and maybe more so.

"Turn around, let me get these onto you."

Rumi made a promise to herself, as she clasped her heart around each of their necks. To protect them, to love them, to steal the sun for them if she had to.

And maybe to love herself more too. It was what they wanted.

When they turned around and she could see the patterns on the gold shining in the light, Rumi suddenly understood what they saw.

"My patterns are beautiful…"