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Published:
2025-09-03
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2025-10-01
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Lightsabers and Lawlessness: Obi-Wan Kenobi vs The Senate (Group Chat)

Summary:

FOXFOXFOXFOXFOX: Can I put the Chancellor on refresher duty?

GENERAL GINGER: I wish I could say yes, but unfortunately, no.

FOXFOXFOXFOXFOX: Kark.

Notes:

new project! plot twist, i do star wars as well!

Chapter 1: obi wan kenobi vs the forces of evil

Summary:

mace windu: stop slandering me.

depa billaba: no.

Notes:

NEW! Now you can see who's who at the endnotes for each chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

TAUNGSDAY – MASTERS ONLY



Mace Windu: ALRIGHT. This is the OFFICIAL channel for topics that do NOT require a meeting.

 

Depa Billaba: Totally.

 

Mace Windu: Don’t you dare.

 

Depa Billaba: I haven’t done anything?

 

Depa Billaba: I can’t believe my master has so little faith in me.

 

Yoda: Need a nap, he might.

 

Kit Fisto: Don’t we all?

 

Mace Windu: Ignoring that, Yoda, why are you still talking like that? You can type normally, you know.

 

Yoda: For the plot, this is.

 

Obi-Wan Kenobi: This won’t last long.

 

Shaak Ti: What gave you that idea?

 

Mace Windu: I regret this already. PLEASE, can we keep this civil?

 

Kit Fisto: No promises.

 

Depa Billaba: ^^^^

 

Luminara Unduli: Um, Mace?

 

Yoda: Nothing, you see.

 

Mace Windu: What is it, Luminara?

 

Yoda: Say nothing, you will.

 

Mace Windu: What did he do?

 

Luminara Unduli:

 

Mace Windu: LUMINARA, WHAT DID HE DO–

 

Luminara Unduli: I think I’m seeing things. I think I need to visit the halls.

 

Yoda: Hmm, agree I do.

 

Mace Windu: This is giving me a headache.

 

Shaak Ti: You did this to yourself, Mace.

 

Plo Koon: I agree.

 

Mace Windu: Traitors, the lot of you.

 

[ Obi-Wan Kenobi’s name was updated to Council Favorite ]

 

Council Favorite:

 

Depa Billaba: Checks out.

 

Kit Fisto: Why is HE the favorite? I’M LITERALLY AMAZING.

 

Luminara Unduli: There are SO MANY HOLOVIDS explaining why you AREN’T.

 

Kit Fisto: Woowwwwww, thanks, Lumi.

 

Luminara Unduli: Ban him, kick him, kill him. I want him GONE.

 

Luminara Unduli: Only Obi is allowed to call me that.

 

Council Favorite: ⸜( ˙˘˙)⸝

 

Mace Windu: What. Is. That.

 

Shaak Ti: Aww, it’s cute!

 

[ Shaak Ti’s name was updated to Council Mom ]

 

Depa Billaba: 100000/10

 

Council Mom: I feel as if this fits Mace more than anything, the way he’s always FUSSING about everybody and everything.

 

Mace Windu: HEY

 

Plo Koon: It’s true.

 

Mace Windu: Plo, you’re supposed to be on my side.

 

Plo Koon: Last time I checked, YOU were the one cheating at Sabacc.

 

Mace Windu: I don’t cheat?

 

Depa Billaba: Yes, you do.

 

Yoda: Correct, Depa is.

 

Mace Windu: I have no friends.

 

Council Favorite: I guess I’m chopped liver…

 

Mace Windu: Except you. I like you the most. I can’t say the same for your padawan…

 

Council Favorite: He’s trying his best.

 

Mace Windu: Anytime I get a report from him, I have to meditate beforehand.

 

Council Favorite: At least he’s doing his reports.

 

Mace Windu: At what cost? My sanity?

 

Kit Fisto: Yes.

 

Council Mom: Hey, Luminara? Am I seeing what I THINK i’m seeing?

 

Luminara Unduli:

 

Yoda: Do this to me, you don’t want to.

 

Mace Windu: What are you–

 

[ Yoda is offline]

 

[ Mace Windu is offline]

 

Council Favorite: I think my heart stopped for a minute.

 

Plo Koon: Don’t let Vokara catch you saying that.

 

Council Mom: If it means he actually VISITS the halls, then let her catch him.

 

Council Favorite: Hey.

 

Plo Koon: That’s very true. He is quite the danger magnet.

 

Council Favorite: Hey–

 

Luminara Unduli: Always has been.

 

Council Favorite: HEY.

 

Kit Fisto: Remember the time he tried to climb one of the spires?

 

Council Mom: That memory still scares me to this day.

 

Plo Koon: What about the time he got lost on Alderaan?

 

Depa Billaba: OH! That was the one where he was held hostage by snow owls?

 

Plo Koon: That story never fails to make me laugh.

 

Council Favorite: I’m right here.

 

Council Mom: Only you could get yourself into situations like that.

 

Council Favorite: I don’t like what you’re insinuating.

 

Council Mom: We appreciate and care for you nonetheless.

 

Council Favorite: yjdtdkiwugelfi

 

[ Council Favorite is offline]

 

Luminara Unduli: Aw, I love it when he gets all flustered.

 

Kit Fisto: He doesn’t hear those words often enough.

 

Council Mom: I really don’t like that. :(

 

Plo Koon: Me neither.

 

Depa Billaba: I pledge that we create an Obi-Wan appreciation day.

 

Mace Windu: I second that.

 

Yoda: Agree with this, I do. Too much trauma, he has.

 

Yoda: Partially my fault, that is.

 

Mace Windu: No way? Yoda finally admits he did something wrong?

 

Yoda:

 

Mace Windu: That HURT.

 

Depa Billaba: You deserved it, but also you weren’t wrong.

 

Mace Windu: I’m going to go hang out with my one real friend.

 

Yoda: Your friend, am I not?

 

Mace Windu: After what you just did, no. How is it that I only respect ONE PERSON in your lineage?

 

Yoda: Plot.



TAUNGSDAY – COMMANDERS ONLY (AND REX)



CC-1010: I HATE MY JOB.

 

CC-2224: Fox, you can’t say that.

 

CC-1010: Cry about it, Codes.

 

[ CC-1010’s name was updated to Boycott The Senate ]

 

CC-3636: The entire senate?

 

Boycott The Senate: Yes. All of it. Get rid of it.

 

CC-2224: That’s grounds for demotion, vod.

 

Boycott The Senate: You won’t.

 

CC-2224:

 

CC-2224: I won’t because your boyfriend would complain to either General Kenobi or General Secura, and it would somehow get back to me.

 

Boycott The Senate: A) Not my boyfriend. B) Why General Secura? Isn’t that Bly’s General?

 

CC-5052: Yeah, but why is my general involved with Fox’s boyfriend? Do I have to fight someone?

 

CC-2224: Don’t worry about it.

 

[ CC-2224’s name was updated to Kote™ ]

 

[ Kote™ is offline]

 

CC-5052: Should we be worried?

 

CT-7567: General Kenobi walked by.

 

CT-7567: I’ve never seen Cody go so red.

 

CT-7567: He is literally the shade of your armor, Fox.

 

Boycott The Senate: That’s HILARIOUS. Please send pictures.

 

[ CT-7567’s name was updated to Rexter ]

 

[ Rexter sent [1] image]

 

Boycott The Senate: This is going STRAIGHT to the folder.

 

Rexter: I’m scared.

 

CC-3636: Don’t be. It’s just dirt on Cody

 

[ CC-3636’s name was updated to Wolffe ]

 

Boycott The Senate: Nah

 

[ Wolffe’s name was updated to Spicy Dog ]

 

Spicy Dog: I will MAIM you the next time I’m on Coruscant.

 

Boycott The Senate: Try me, furry.

 

Spicy Dog: Karking hypocrite.

 

CC-4020: This chat would give any natborn an aneurysm.

 

[ CC-4020’s name was updated to Laundry Basket ]

 

Rexter: Do I want to know why?

 

Laundry Basket: I can never have a NICE, NORMAL MISSION where General FIsto keeps his DAMN CLOTHES ON.

 

Boycott The Senate: I bet Bly wishes he had this problem.

 

Laundry Basket: As toned as most Jedi are, I’d wish this issue on nobody.

 

Laundry Basket: The number of times I’ve had to stop just to pick up his robes is astronomical. 

 

Boycott The Senate: Can you give this problem to Cody?

 

Laundry Basket: I retract my earlier statement. That‘s hilarious, absolutely.

 

Kote™: aaaah Kenobi

 

Boycott The Senate: Nope, we are NOT doing this.

 

[ Kote™ was muted for [2] hours]

 

CC-6454: The Marshal Commander everybody.

 

[ CC-6454’s name was updated to Puddles ]

 

Puddles: I hope whoever did that gets put on KP.

 

Boycott The Senate: Am I allowed to put the Chancellor on refresher duty?

 

Rexter: Please do. I don’t like him, but I can’t say anything because General Skywalker is good friends with him.

 

Boycott The Senate: Ew. I’m going to ask Cody’s General >:)



TAUNGSDAY – PRIVATE CHAT: FOXFOXFOXFOXFOX and GENERAL GINGER



FOXFOXFOXFOXFOX: Can I ask an important question?

 

GENERAL GINGER: Depends, Cody is staring at me and it’s creeping me out.

 

FOXFOXFOXFOXFOX: Am I allowed to put the Chancellor on refresher duty?

 

GENERAL GINGER: I wish I could say yes, but unfortunately not.

 

FOXFOXFOXFOXFOX: Don’t worry about Cody, he’s harmless.

 

GENERAL GINGER: Oh I know. Deep down he’s a big softie.

 

FOXFOXFOXFOXFOX: Lmao

 

GENERAL GINGER: I must go, Cody did not like that you called him harmless. 

 

FOXFOXFOXFOXFOX: He can cry about it.

 

GENERAL GINGER: That’s funny. Anyways. Next time you see Quinlan tell him I said hello for me.

 

[ GENERAL GINGER is offline]

 

FOXFOXFOXFOXFOX:



TAUNGSDAY – COMMANDERS ONLY (AND REX)



Boycott The Senate: I hate that General Kenobi knows about my interactions with General Vos.

 

Puddles: “interactions” You mean the sex?

 

Boycott The Senate: Shut up.

 

Notes:

WHO'S WHO:

MASTERS ONLY:

Mace Windu - Master Window/Grandpappy
Yoda - Senior Citizen (JUST RETIRE ALREADY)
Shaak Ti - Council Mom
Plo Koon - Council Dad
Depa Billaba - Queen Master
Obi-Wan Kenobi - Council Favorite
Stass Allie - Here For The Ride
Agen Kolar - Agent Cool
Kit Fisto - Allergic To Clothes
Saesee Tiin - Best Pilot (Kriff You, Skywalker)
Oppo Rancisis - #1 Opp
Luminara Unduli - Lululemon Is War-Appropriate
Ki-Adi-Mundi - Not Adi Gallia

COMMANDERS ONLY (AND REX)

CC-2224 (CODY) - Kote™
CC-1010 (FOX) - Boycott The Senate
CT-7567 (REX) - Rexter
CC-3636 (WOLFFE) - Spicy Dog/WILL BITE
CC-6454 (PONDS) - Puddles
CC-5052 (BLY) - Aaylover
CC-1004 (GREE) - Greened Out
CC-1138 (BACARA) - Bac in Business
CC-8826 (NEYO) - NE-NOPE
CC-4020 (MONNK) - Laundry Basket
CC-10/994 (GREY) - Proud Dad

PRIVATE CHAT(S)

CC-1010 (FOX) - FOXFOXFOXFOXFOX
OBI-WAN KENOBI - GENERAL GINGER