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Saying that today was going to be a lot was an understatement, today was going to be absolute hell. From the moment Gangle woke up her head pounded mercilessly, possibly due to the lack of sleep. At first it surprised her that headaches were even possible in the digital world, eventually she got used to the absurdity of the place. Absolutely nothing made any sense, it was frustrating. Unfortunately due to Caine's “family friendly” policy painkillers were strictly prohibited. Somehow things such as the stupid sauce or alcohol could be accessed.
Gangle was sitting on the couch, leaning into Zooble. They did not complain. Gangle had barely woken up by the time Caine burst into the room yelling about some “top notch adventure” that would be “much better” than all previous adventures. Caine took great pride in his adventures, even if everyone found them to be insufferable and disturbing. Gangle barely acknowledged the constant noise, she just wanted to stay behind. Surely that was not too much to ask? Gangle was just about to voice her concerns but she was sucked into the portal and dropped on a carpet. Once the initial dizziness had worn off she shakily pushed herself up. Her knees buckled weakly.
Caine had selected an arcade that also contained a bowling alley. NPC's crowded the place, leaving it cramped and uncomfortably warm. Gangle could not find Zooble within the groups. Anxiety filled her, threatening to overflow at even the tiniest inconvenience. Overlapping chatter buzzed like a hostile swarm of hornets. Coins clattered noisily as they fell from the machine, an automated response called out “WINNER” in an obnoxious voice. The lights flashed rapidly in a nauseating array of blue and red tones. The thick scent of hot dogs and other traditional arcade foods rested in her throat. It was revolting. She tried to swallow down the rising feeling of sickness in her mouth. Even the carpet felt rough and itchy beneath her silky sensitive ribbons.
If her senses had a dial it felt like they had been turned to one hundred. She wondered if anyone else felt this way, or was she alone? She tried looking around for reassurance, but everyone had already split off. Most likely occupied by a task of some sorts.
“Ribbons are you gonna move or what?” A harsh impatient voice cut through the static that roared in her head.
Gangle made a nearly inaudible squeak in response. Looking up she was met by a familiar mocking grin. Jax. He looked annoyed, clearly not understanding Gangle's current struggle. Gangle was not shocked by the absence of empathy. He'd never been the understanding type.
“I said, are you going to move?” He repeated with an exaggerated slowness, like how one would talk to a toddler. Gangle shivered uncomfortably, trying to lean away from her tormentor. He latched his hand under her chin forcing her to meet his gaze. The eye contact was intense and unforgiving, Gangle hated it. A familiar click sounded in Gangle's mind. Her mask had been removed.
“My comedy mask” She whined, tracing her hand over where her comedy mask used to sit. The empty gap taunted her. Hate was not a strong enough word to describe how she felt towards her avatar. Her stupid removable mask and her exposed emotions were just a personal jab at her masking abilities. At least when she was a human the mask was not as easy to slip off and crumble to dust. But now, she could not hide. Nowhere was safe. Jax had keys to every single room, and Caine was always observing from the sidelines, rarely intervening.
“My comedy mask!” He repeated, dragging his hands down his face in fake sadness. Jax lifted her comedy mask high out of Gangle's reach and dangled it tauntingly. Feebly, she reached up to retrieve it but she was forcefully pushed down. The back of her tragedy mask smacked against an arcade game making a painfully loud slam. Gangle wanted to cover up her ears, but that was impossible. She did not possess them, hearing was just another programmed feature. One that could not be turned off, or at the very least dimmed.
“Ow” Gangle whined, cautiously rubbing the back of her head. The force caused her to nearly black out. Tears had already started welling in her pitch black eyes. Gangle's bottom lip quivered as she shuffled back, pressing up against the machine. A cold sensation ran through her back, triggering a shiver. It was most certainly unpleasant, but it was definitely better than the sticky heat she had felt previously.
“God you're so pathetic, I barely touched you!” Jax sneered holding the mask right In front of Gangle. Meekly she reached up to grab it, but Jax swiped it away before she had a chance. He looked so unbelievably pleased with himself.
“It would be a shame if someone lost this wouldn't it, Gangle?” Jax said in mock sympathy, tossing the item from hand to hand. Jax then pretended to drop the mask. It flew further than expected. Even Jax looked slightly surprised. It somehow managed to fly through an open door into a mysterious abyss of colours and lights. Jax looked down at Gangle, then back trying to comprehend where the mask went. While his back was turned, Bubble appeared out of nowhere and smacked him in the head. Jax wobbled and nearly fell, swaying as if he'd been walloped in the head with a brick. Surprisingly Bubble did not pop, he just continued floating around without a care in the world. Tongue lolling out like a dog.
“I'm a legalised weapon” Bubble stated proudly, Jax straightened up his eyes displaying confused swirls. A wet patch stained his fur where the moist Bubble had hit him.
“Who the hell, chucked Bubble at my head?” He demanded utterly humiliated, it was like the maid dress situation all over again. Except he seemed more surprised than embarrassed.
Zooble appeared from behind a corner, they looked completely enraged. If looks could kill, Jax would simply cease to exist.
“Leave her alone you mouldy baked bean” Zooble demanded pointing an accusing finger at Jax. The purple rabbit carelessly rolled his eyes and checked his nonexistent finger nails.
“I didn't do anything, she tripped!”
“Cut the [!BOING!] Jax, I saw what you did!”
“Oh cry me a river, it was just a joke! Clearly neither of you can take a joke”
“You insensitive [!BOING!] you should learn how to make one!”
Gangle curled up, the shouting felt like bullets in her “ears”. She just wanted them to stop. The horrible build up in emotions eventually cracked. All of the emotions came flooding back, in an alarming display of overwhelm. Gangle felt herself beginning to hyperventilate and wheeze. Unable to force any air into her digital lungs. Is this what a heart attack felt like? Gangle had experienced countless panic attacks and meltdowns before. But they were never this terrible.
BANG! Jax kicked one of the machines, maybe out of frustration or spite.
Gangle screamed and cried into hands, distraught. She trembled barely able to hold still, subconsciously she started rocking back and forth. Her ribbons twisted around her face, the choking sensation lay thick in her throat. Twice Gangle felt herself smacking a clenched ribbon fist into her head. She could hardly feel it. Harshly she pulled on her ribbons, causing them to twist and fray. Gangle could barely react to her destruction before Zooble roughly shoved Jax out of the way and knelt down in front of her.
Gently they guided Gangle's hands down and held them reassuringly. Zooble was cautious with their movements, not wanting to crowd Gangle. Gangle felt the primal urge to snatch back and run. Her fight or flight reflex battled inside of her. She wanted to lunge for Jax and suffocate him. To watch as life was slowly drained from his body. But she also felt the overwhelming itch to run. But if she runs, she will end up lost in this tortuous maze.
“Not gonna lie Gangle, that was one hell of an overreaction” Jax interrupted, exaggerating his words with a teasing smile. Gangle felt like a knife had been plunged into her chest. The humiliation was agonising , Gangle did not intend to react in the way she did.
“You genuinely have the emotional intelligence of a tin can, can you not understand that she's upset?” Zooble hissed leading Gangle away, flipping Jax off as they hobbled away. The rabbit twitched in annoyance, his ears drifted down.
“How was I supposed to know she was upset, she's always crying about something!” Jax hollered, but his voice was overpowered by the booming music that thudded constantly rattling the floor. Each sound just kept getting louder and louder. The abrupt crashing noise of bowling pins, cheerful screams felt like a blade sinking into her brain. Some sort of animatronic pony created a horrific sound. A manic sounding chuckle. The mocking laugh track that played constantly rang relentlessly through the arcade.
Gangle shielded her tear stained face from view as she passed Kinger and Ragatha. The two both shared a concerned look, but neither decided to intervene. Gangle hoped it would remain that way.
Eventually the pair reached a door on the far side of the arcade. It was labelled “Staff only” but Zooble ignored the warning and held the door open, letting Gangle inside first. Zooble took a quick look outside to ensure that nobody had followed them. Then, they shut the door with a soft click. Relief flooded Gangle as the sounds from outside became muffled. She could still barely breathe, but at least it was colder in the staff room.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Zooble asked, standing beside Gangle, their eyes displaying true sympathy. Desperately Gangle tried to respond, but it felt like there was a wall preventing her voice from leaving her mouth. Again and again she tried to force speech, frustration built up and eventually she gave up trying.
“Don't force yourself to speak, it'll only make things worse” Zooble said softly, completely unaffected by Gangle's lack of speech. The reassurance was comforting, like a warm hug on a bitterly cold winter night. In the past she would have been scolded for silence, but Zooble was different. The two remained in silence for around 15 minutes, Zooble could not help but notice how Gangle was struggling to relax. Gangle fidgeted and squirmed, clearly still suffering from the aftermath of her breakdown.
“Would you like to be alone, or do you want me to stay?” Zooble asked, cutting through the quiet. They held their hands in front of Gangle, explaining that the left meant stay and the right meant go. Gangle chose the right hand option.
She hated being seen like this, solitude felt like the best thing right now. But Zooble was pleasant to be around, they did not pry or judge. They just listened, not expecting anything from Gangle. It was refreshing to have someone care like that.
“I can go and get your mask then, and I’ll probably tie Jax's ears together while I'm at it” Zooble left the room, shutting the door carefully. Gangle slipped down against the wall, pushing herself further into the corner. Her ribbons twisted and folded down, making her compact. Gangle took a shaky breath in, tears rolling freely down her face. A cacophony of sniffles and whines filled the room. She could hardly see through her blindfold of tears. She wanted to scream and be completely silent. An internal battle that neither side of her could win.
“Hey Gangle” Ragatha opened the door and peered into the room. Gangle flinched, her ribbons shot up to guard her face. Ragatha held her hands up to show she meant no harm. However, that felt like more of a threat. Gangle shrunk even further back, resting her head on her knees in submission.
“Sorry Gangle, I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to check if you were okay, did Jax do something again?” She continued, Gangle felt herself questioning how much Ragatha actually cared. Was she actually worried or was it out of pity? Gangle did not want her pity.
“Why don't you come back outside? Everyone's worried about you. You gave us quite the fright when you…” Ragatha offered, guilt and shame piled up in Gangle's stomach. Gangle could not bring herself to go back outside, it felt like an impossible task. The noise from outside had already invaded the room. Ragatha had forgotten to shut the door. Ragatha’s eyes rested on her cowering figure. Gangle wished that she could just dissolve at this moment in time. Another harsh clatter sounded from outside. The shock came back full swing, causing a violent shake to run through her body. Ragatha had a look of confusion written all over her face.
“Gangle honey, I can't help you if you don't talk to me” Ragatha said sadly, edging closer. The walls felt like they were coming closer and closer, threatening to crush her. Ragatha obviously wanted a response but Gangle could not summon the words, instead she stayed quiet. Why was she not leaving? Gangle could not push herself any further back, she needed to escape. But Ragatha had unintentionally blocked her path.
“Come out when you're ready” Ragatha said, she then left quite quickly, the door swinging shut behind her. Gangle felt herself loosen up and the walls began reverting back to their normal placement. The sounds were once again muted and she was left in perfect solitude.
(ZOOBLE POV)
Zooble groaned in frustration, Jax could be such a jerk sometimes, today was no different. Navigating the arcade was a sizable struggle, with the absence of signage and the distracting music. Fortunately, it did not take long for Zooble to spot Jax towering over one of the smaller machines. He was shoving coins into it, probably hoping to win something. How naive of him to believe that he could win a prize on one of those money devouring machines. Zooble had seen things like that take place before with the slot machines in the bar they had worked at previously. It was astonishing just how quickly someone could throw their life away for the thrill of gambling. The thrill would soon become unsatisfactory, in more ways than one.
Zooble began moving over to where Jax stood, practically steaming with rage. He was blissfully unaware of Zooble's presence, however that was guaranteed to change.
“Where did you throw it?” Zooble asked harshly, pulling Jax's ears down, his body followed soon after. His knees folded and he nearly whacked his chin. Zooble could have sworn they heard him squeak like a mouse.
“What?” Jax hissed, his ears slipping out of Zooble's grasp. His eyes were wide and his pupils pinpoint. Tentatively, he ran his fingers over his ears. He shook off the tingling sensation and forced a smile. Deflecting again it seems.
“Don't play dumb, where is the mask?” Zooble asked again, their tone grave. They did not have the time for Jax's games.
Jax's eyes lit up.
“Over there” He replied smoothly, signalling over to a door labelled “Hall of magical mirrors!” He looked over to Zooble, with a tormenting smirk.
“You've got to be [!BOING!] kidding me” Zooble grumbled under their breath. Out of all the places he could have chucked it!
“Have fun!” He waved Zooble off in an infantile manner.
“Get [!BOING!] you lanky [!BOING!] Zooble cursed storming off, the stupid censor made their insults nothing more than a laughing stock.
Immediately, Zooble pushed open the door. It produced a comically silly sounding squeak. Regret could not even begin to describe the absolute hell that Zooble felt. Sharp white light reflected off the pristine mirrors, highlighting Zooble's abnormalities and insecurities. Their unnaturally contorted limbs looked even more abhorrent than normal. Every bump and curve, every crease and blemish. Their mismatched eyes looked more like a tumor than a body part. Satisfaction was an unachievable goal for Zooble, insecurity was like a parasite. Feeding one poison while suckling the will to continue out of you. No amount of customisation or modification would ever change that. It became completely impossible to ignore. They tried to hurry through the hall but were swiftly halted by a dead end.
Zooble twisted rapidly searching for a way out, their search for Gangle's mask had been forgotten. Would this maze ever end? Or would Zooble find a more…abstract version of oneself?
After what felt like hours of running into icy cold glass Zooble was met with the exit door. Zooble had never ever felt this relieved. Their feet clattered against the floor, moving quicker than ever. A sick feeling welled inside of their stomach, the doorknob rattled obnoxiously.
It opened letting in a gust of noise and hot air. Zooble rushed out, it was baffling that such an overstimulating environment was preferable to that. At least it was quiet in the hall. Out here was a different kind of hell.
Caine hovered over the front desk of the establishment, he tapped his fingers on the desk. Clearly bored out of his mind. It must not be too fun exchanging tickets that no-one used. Assets from adventures could not be recycled, so winning was meaningless. Your prize would be taken as soon as it was given. Like anything good in the circus.
“Caine!” The shouted, snapping Caine from his daydreaming. The Ai nearly jumped out of his metaphorical skin.
“Oh Zooble you bendy straw, whatever is the matter now?” Caine complained, already annoyed by Zooble's appearance. That was much quicker than usual, hardly surprising though Caine had never accepted Zooble's avoidance.
“Gangle wants to go home” They explained plainly, Zooble felt there was no need to sugarcoat the situation. It had easily been over an hour since everyone arrived, it was a possibility that everyone felt the same.
“But there is much more FUN to be had!” Caine explained, his eyes darted around erratically. Bubble faded into view from behind Caine, nodding in agreement
“Yeah well she isn't enjoying herself”
“What?” Caine said completely struck with disbelief
“The arcade, she isn't enjoying it” Zooble repeated in a frustrated tone. They did not wish to be inconvenienced by Caine's antics, not now.
“Wha- why?” He struggled out, completely dumbfounded at the statement.
“Jax was being a [!BOING!], plus she's overwhelmed. Is that too hard for you to understand?”
He paused in consideration, checking the imaginary watch that was no longer on his wrist. Zooble rolled their mismatched eyes impatiently, Caine turned with a menacing creak. He levitated closer, his eyes darkened with anguish.
“Ugh fine, I'll teleport you all back HAPPY?” He snapped, shutting his teeth with a snap to conceal his eyes. He hesitated for a second before dramatically clicking his fingers. The world was quickly enveloped in a blinding white light and an explosion of glitter and pink powder.
Instantly, everyone was shot out of the portal like bullets from a gun. One by one everyone scampered off. Kinger retreated to his impenetrable fortress. Ragatha was scolding Jax about something again, as per usual he did not care. Correcting him was pointless, the rabbit never learns. Pomni had already begun walking in the direction of her room. Gangle had only just risen up from the cold floor.
“Hey Gangle, do you want me to take you to your room?” The saddened pile of ribbons perked up slightly, a faint watercolour blush painting her face.
“Can I stay with you tonight?” Gangle said, her voice barely a whisper. Her speech still carried an unsure tremble, but at least she could communicate again.
“Of course you can” Zooble was pleasantly surprised by the request, they had wanted to spend more time with Gangle. No matter their mood. Gangle always reassured them during times of haunting insecurity. It was about time Zooble returned the favour.
“You're far too good to me” Gangle murmured, resting her porcelain face on Zooble's shoulder.
Zooble felt their face heat up, the closeness was comforting and warm. Despite the circus acting as a digital hell, there certainly were some benefits.
A true unconditional friendship.