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Interview With The Programmer

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The following is a transcript of an exclusive interview with Dr. Alexander Gromov...

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The following is a transcript of our exclusive interview with Dr. Alexander Gromov done by yours truly, Harp Beltran, the current top ranked pod-streamer on StreamGood.net. For our sight-impaired viewers, we have included audio descriptions. Yes, I know this is a written transcription, but if you have GoodPlay Audio installed (The latest update) It should automatically sync to the sound of the video feed.


Harp: Mr. Gromov! Alexander Gromov! Can you spare a moment please? Me and my followers just have a few questions!

[ Dr. Gromov bolts up from his seat in surprise. ]

Dr. Gromov: What? Who are you? How did you get in here?

Harp: Security let us through. Now please calm yourself, we only have a half hour to be here!

Dr. Gromov: Which guard let you in? Annie, fire him immediately. And remove the intruder.

[ A few moments of silence pass as Dr. Gromov conducts a private search with ANNET. He sits back down slowly, clasping his fingers together. ]

Dr. Gromov: …You may stay. But only for 30 minutes. Like you mentioned. No more than that.

Harp: Thank you so much! It is truly an honor to meet you, THE LEGENDARY Doctor Alexander Gromov.

Dr. Gromov: Please just call me Dr. Gromov. What is it you want to know?

[ Harp places her hovercam at an awesome angle. She sits in one of the chairs in Dr. Gromov's office. She scoots in very close. Dr. Gromov leans farther away. ]

Harp: I have procured a list of some hot hot questions from my followers! You don’t have to answer all of them, but it would be great if you could.

Dr. Gromov: Just spit it out, girl.

Harp: Alright, here we go! Ahem… As the leading engineer of the Good Directorate, what keeps your head above water? What keeps you from cracking under all the pressure?

Dr. Gromov: Pssh, pressure? All of this-

[ He gestures to his office and the server lights beyond the dark glass behind him. ]

Dr. Gromov: Is barely anything to me. Perhaps to any man with less nerve. It would seem monumental, but my work ethic has gotten me through time and time again.

Harp: Your work ethic? 

Dr. Gromov: Yes, keeping my head forward and all, focus and drive are the keys to any noteworthy success.

Harp: Amazing, just as simple as that?

Dr. Gromov: Certainly.

[ He stares off to his left, smiling. ]

Harp: My followers are also wondering what you do with your hair? You’ve rarely been seen in public, but from what we’ve observed through available footage, the public has been enamored with how you keep it so fresh into your middle years. Do you use any specific products, or have a special routine?

Dr. Gromov: Pass.

Harp: What?

Dr. Gromov: Give me a different question, I'll pass this one.

Harp: Oh! O-K… Many people are wondering what your thoughts on, and-slash-or about your involvement with the new DEX policies the G-Directorate Insurers just published yesterday evening. 

Dr. Gromov: I don’t deal much with the insurance branch of the Directorate… But I will say that administrators know what they're doing, and we’re all working our hardest to provide everyone with the user experience they deserve.

Harp: But don’t you think that it’s a drastic change in DEX responsibilities? After all, we all rely a significant amount on the enhanced labor they provide.

Dr. Gromov: There is nothing we can’t patch. Pass.

[ Dr. Gromov visibly glances at the clock in the bottom corner of his holo-screen. ]

Harp: We still have time, Dr. Gromov. There's no need to rush.

Dr. Gromov: Mhm… Walk with me.

Harp: O-K! Come on viewers, I guess we're on the move again.

[ Dr. Gromov gets up slowly, leading Harp to the door on the far side of the office. ]

Dr. Gromov: Is this what you do for a living, Miss?

Harp: Yep! I do freelance journalism, and broadcast to thousands of people across Eureka.

Dr. Gromov: Why do you do this?

Harp: Hey, I’m supposed to be interviewing you right now!

Dr. Gromov: It’s only one question. 

Harp: Well, I do this 'cause I love it! The people need to know what they want to know!

[ Dr. Gromov does not react to Harp’s enthusiasm. ]

Harp: It’s actually amazing you asked that question, because we were wondering the same thing. Why do you do what you do?

Dr. Gromov: Hmm, no one has asked me that before. 

[ They enter a hall with walls entirely made of dark tinted glass. ]

Dr. Gromov: Which is strange isn’t it? You’d think that a man such as myself would be questioned for his audacity in that regard.

[ Dr. Gromov touches the glass wall. Soft blue light glows around his handprint. ]

Dr. Gromov: Not in a heretical sense, mind you, but an ambitious sense. I mean, who else can say they’ve created such revolutionary technology that it rivals that of mother nature’s design?

Harp: You consider your work that great?

Dr. Gromov: Of course. There is not a single soul in Eureka who doesn't know my name, or has never used my inventions.

Harp: Like ANNET!

Dr. Gromov: Ha! Yes, my girl Annie… Where would we be without her? You know, I may not have founded the Good Directorate, but there is no denying life in our city would not be the same without my influence. 

Harp: That must be a burden on your shoulders, right?

[ Dr. Gromov reels back, turning away from the camera. ]

Dr. Gromov: Like I said previously, this is barely anything to me.

Harp: You know, Dr. Gromov, you still haven’t answered my original question.

Dr. Gromov: …Pass.

Harp: But-!

Dr. Gromov: I said pass.

Harp: Fine! Then can you tell us where you got your greatest idea? 

Dr. Gromov: I’ve had many great ideas, you must be more specific than that.

Harp: ANNET, of course! You were just saying how we wouldn’t be the same without it… Heck, I don't remember a time before it!

Dr. Gromov: Her. She is no simple “it”. And of course you wouldn’t, what are you? In grade school?

[ He laughs jovially.]

Harp: … I'm not that short-

[ The doctor continues.]

Dr. Gromov: In all seriousness, I cannot quite recall when I came up with her. I suppose it was a process, formulated over time. Why, I believe the very last thing I did was name the gal.

Let’s see, I believe it was about twenty-ish years ago from today. I was already into computers at an early age. Growing up as a girl in post-war Northern Eurasia did not lend itself well to outdoor activities-

Harp: A girl? So, it’s true!

Dr. Gromov: Will you set yourself to silent? I’m trying to relay a story here.

[ Harp is now quiet, per the doctor’s request.]

Dr. Gromov: As I was saying, playing outside just wasn’t an option, so I was relegated to my desk. Around this time is when my father began working at the Good Directorate. Not the company we know and love today, but a humble tech startup contracted by the government.