Chapter 1: long time, no see. kept you waiting, huh?
Chapter Text
You hadn’t expected the call from Zero, and you definitely did not expect for him to request your help with a mission. You had defected to the Soviet Union not long after those NSA code breakers, and subsequently abandoned your comrade, (who was really far more than just that) Jack. You wouldn’t have blamed him for hating you or trying to forget about you, you had randomly upped and left one day without saying a word. He only found out from trickles through a gossip grapevine, and a later confirmation from Zero that you had in fact defected. Jack was heartbroken to say the least; he was more alone than he was before, having not seen or heard from The Boss for nearly a year at that point by the time you departed. He didn’t have your silent comfort through those nights of concern and frustration for his mentor, and it had gotten worse with you gone.
Jack was a capable man, so he obviously got through it. But it still sucked regardless, especially because you didn’t even say anything to him. Maybe it was his fault for having attachments, and falling into one of the biggest sins in the battlefield: having feelings for a comrade. You should’ve been nothing more than a temporary ally to him. And he should’ve been the same to you. Yet, you weren’t, and he wasn’t either. It made it all the more difficult for the both of you. Even so, you both had to carry on with your duties and act like nothing was wrong as you were expected to do. You could not present vulnerability.
So, with all that emotional luggage with Jack, you had some mixture of hope and dread that he was the person you were assisting. But since Zero couldn’t use actual names, you couldn’t be certain for now. All you had to go by was the codename ‘Snake’. Perhaps it was Jack, since you recalled him eating snakes during survival training. But didn’t everyone? Or did he eat the most snakes out of everyone who completed the training? You couldn’t remember, and it was all the more annoying. You wanted to know if it was him or not so you could at least mentally prepare. But of course, you didn’t find out until your rendezvous with him outside that dump Sokolov was kept in.
Your codename for this mission was ‘EDEN’. Likely to match with the whole Book of Genesis theme that everyone else’s codenames were. ADAM, EVA, and Snake. How cute.
You were running earlier than the others, it seemed. You were getting closer, feeling your stomach churn with nervousness for multiple reasons. One being that you had to be quick not to rouse suspicion with Volgin and the other GRU members, and two being that you were anxious that you’d be meeting Jack again. You could only hope for the best.
Your boots crunched against some leaves, unfortunately not being as stealthy as you wished you were. Perhaps you should’ve changed into that sneaking suit you still had, but you worried that would’ve drawn too much attention. The abandoned factory became more visible, your eyes had narrowed to try and see if Snake was there or EVA had gotten there before you, which wasn’t working out so well since it was late into the evening. Just as you stood and paused, you heard a motorcycle revving in the distance. You perked up and spun around, .45 in hand and pointing at the unfamiliar figure. You couldn’t make out who it was from the helmet they were wearing, and the front light was blinding you. The engine stopped, the person’s foot knocking out the support for the motorcycle. They got off the vehicle, and judging by their feminine figure, they were likely a woman. That…could not be ADAM or EVA. They were both male. You gulped, worrying that you were followed by one of your comrades and you were going to be turned in to Volgin and exposed.
“Who are you? State your codename!” You bellowed, trying not to stutter. You were good at balancing out your nerves, but this was just a little bit too nerve wracking. A soft huff could be heard, the person taking off their helmet and revealing flowing, golden blonde hair, siren-like eyes and pink stained lips. The moonlight shone off her face, her head tilting to the side as she gazed at you.
“The name’s EVA,” she drawled, her voice soft and alluring, now setting the helmet on one of the motorcycle handles. “I could ask the same question for you.”
Your eyes narrowed at her, the gun in your hand still raised and pointed at her. She was lying. She wasn’t EVA. EVA was a man, and he certainly did not look feminine either. You doubted that a replacement for EVA would’ve been sent out without notifying you. You stepped back as she swayed closer, her green gloved hand going to the zipper of her tan jumpsuit, zipping it down to just above where her belt was situated. Was she trying to distract you?
“You’re not EVA.” You sternly responded, backing away until you hit against a formed wall of stone and soil. As she got closer, you could see she looked similar to that woman in the helicopter earlier, just without the glasses and ponytail. Was she Tatyana? Your mind was reeling with questions but you didn’t want to dwell on those right now. You had to focus.
“You’re not EVA,” you repeated. “Just who are you?”
EVA raised a brow. She suspected that you were the person she was supposed to assist - or, well, the person the real EVA was meant to assist - but now she figured that you were another one of the double agents. She hadn’t met either you or ADAM.
She backed away, zipping back up the jumpsuit and reaching toward her helmet. Her hand twitched towards her holster, but she knew you’d shoot her the moment she even grazed it.
“I am EVA. The one you’re thinking of couldn’t make it.” EVA responded smoothly, placing the helmet back over her head and concealing her identity once more. She sounded so confident to the point where you wanted to believe her, but you couldn’t trust her. Then, you remembered the password.
“Who are the patriots?” You asked. EVA was silent, her body leaning over the motorcycle as she mounted it. She wasn’t visibly tense, but her silence still wasn’t helping her case. Her mouth opened, about to give an answer, till you heard Soviet soldiers running towards the both of you. Shit. They must’ve heard EVA’s motorcycle.
EVA reached for her pistol, unclipping the holster and aiming it at the direction of the soldiers. She tilted it to its side, spraying bullets at all the men who flocked over to you both. It was an impressive move, and it killed all of them before you even had the chance to aim and shoot. Moans of pain erupted from each shot, before delving into silence as they all had fatal gun wounds. Your mouth went agape, stammering while looking between the pile of dead soldiers and EVA. Where did she learn to do that?
“Is that your answer?” EVA retorted, shuffling her body more forward on the motorcycle. Before you could even speak, she ordered you to sit behind her and drive you both to the factory. You huffed, wasting no time to get behind her, partly in fear of more soldiers being sent. The factory was close by anyway.
Her perfume hit your nostrils as your head rested near hers, the scent mixed in with gasoline becoming tantalising. It almost made you dizzy, but not in a bad way. Maybe it’s how she got by with the Soviets. What an astounding woman. You’d leave your questions about her identity and what her real motives were for later. You had to focus on Snake and the mission for now.
“You still didn’t answer my question,” she asked, revving up the engine and beginning the quick drive to the factory. “Who are you? What’s your codename?” Now, she did know who you were, but had to ask to hush your suspicions. You were Y/N, you both had already met back in that helicopter with Volgin and Ocelot.
“You can call me EDEN. That’s my codename.” At least someone was answering truthfully.
“EDEN, huh? Matches with the rest of us.” EVA gently hummed in response. There was more that both of you wanted to say, but you had to save it for later. You stopped in front of the abandoned factory, taking a glance around the area. It was incredibly dilapidated and looked partly destroyed, metal barrels being corroded by rust and some debris here and there. Poor Sokolov was trapped in here. Then your eyes stopped focusing on your surroundings, and instead on the man who was supposedly Snake, his .45 pointed at the pair of you out of defence. You peeked from above EVA’s shoulder, finally revealing who it was. And it was just who you were worried about. Jack.
Thankfully, he didn’t see you just yet. Only your eyes were visible and the rest of your face was obscured behind EVA, so your presence wouldn’t be entirely known just yet. Snake’s eyes squinted at the white light emitting from EVA’s motorcycle, that signature grunt of his snapping you into reality and locking you in like a sleeper agent. It was just then that the weight of what was truly going on had really hit you right in the stomach. It was him. It was really him. A festering urge to get up, run away into the Russian wilderness, and abandon your end of the mission was pulsing through your body. You didn’t know if you had the guts to face him after all these years. A part of you hoped, prayed, that maybe it wasn’t Jack despite longing to see him for so long, but reality wasn’t working in your favour. Not for now, at least.
“Who are the patriots?” The question pulled you out of your disassociation. His voice. Oh, his voice, how you missed it so much. That low, gravelly voice. It brought you butterflies just as it did back then. You opened your mouth, answering before EVA could, much to her relief.
“La-li-lu-le-lo.” You breathed out, just loud enough for Snake to hear. His demeanour shifted, his gun lowering not only out of your confirmation of trust, but out of pure shock too. It was you. His brows raised, being just as surprised as he was when The Boss defected. Well, maybe a little bit less, but still. He thought both his eyes and ears were playing tricks on him. He fell completely silent, staring at you like he was trying to ease you into his reality. It felt too much. Another person he cared about so deeply had returned unexpectedly with so much time apart. Snake wondered if this was a sick, cruel joke that Zero was playing to test his sanity.
Your hair, your eyes, your face…it was just as he had remembered. The sensation of your warm hands on his skin was like phantom pain. It became unbearable quickly. He was longing already, all those memories hitting him like a freight train. He grunted again, gripping his pistol and standing up. He had to reject these thoughts for now. No, no. But it was hard to forget such things. Things that felt tender for the first time in his life, heartwarming, and affectionate. How could he ever forget what the two of you had? He counted the days you were gone, for Christ’s sake. He had it down to every year, every month, every day and every hour. Snake couldn’t fathom your loss and he wished every day for you to come back. Neither of you could look away from each other, and it needed intervention.
Thankfully EVA sensed this tension, and broke it before it got worse for both of you. She dismounted and took the helmet off her head, repeating the same act from before that she did with you. You gulped, eyes darting from Snake to EVA, then back to Snake, then back to her. His eyes were no longer glued to you, and instead to her while she introduced herself, asking for his codename and such, but he would continue to glance at you while interacting with her. Silence fell once more till Snake spoke up.
“Get inside, staying out in the open will draw attention if any of your comrades come over. I could hear that commotion before you showed up.” Snake gestured to the both of you, crouched over while he walked inside into the room Sokolov was previously kept in. It was just as unpleasant as the outside.
You stood in silence while EVA and Snake interacted with each other, mainly just setting up for the mission ahead. It made you trust her a little more since she seemed to know what she was doing and what to provide, but you were still sceptical. You guessed you couldn’t complain much for now because she was helping you both. You tried to fixate more on her rather than Snake, not wanting to cause any more awkwardness like what happened less than 10 minutes ago. You were completely zoned out by the point where he was reeling about guns.
You were far gone into your thoughts. Thoughts about the mission, about EVA, about The Boss, and especially about Snake. You couldn’t unravel what he was feeling. Disappointment? Dread? Anger? Perhaps even the slightest bit of happiness? It was hard to tell, judging by his lack of reaction. You wouldn’t blame him if he tried to avoid you as much as possible throughout this operation and refuse to ever work with you again. Even so, you had a stupid amount of hope that he would think differently. You wouldn’t ever expect him to understand, but you wondered if even a fraction of him could. Or if he could forgive you, and choose feelings over fluctuating ally/enemyship.
“EDEN?” EVA called gently, her face barely far from yours. You jolted back a little, nodding to indicate you were listening.
“Will you stay with him until dawn? I’ve got to get back before Volgin gets too suspicious.” There was that mix of perfume and oil again. Damn, it smelled good. Her oceanic eyes were fixed on you, that way she was looking at you was making your mind go fuzzy and you questioning things about yourself. You snapped out of it, nodding till you could muster up words.
“Yeah! I, uh, yeah. I can stay.”
Chapter 2: i think we're alone now
Chapter Text
Once EVA left, that thick tension raised once more. You could feel his eyes on you, but when you moved your head to face him, they were instead finding interest in the floor. You imagined that it was going to be like this when EVA wasn’t present, and it was gonna be hell. But hey, you weren’t gonna be around him all too much so you didn’t rouse suspicion with GRU.
“Why did you defect?”
At least Snake was a forward man, and it did break the silence that grew once she left you two alone. Perhaps it wasn’t going to be completely quiet when you were both alone. You sighed, your feet in motion against the creaking floorboards. You sat by him on the uncomfortably flat bed that Sokolov was cursed to sleep on, feeling pitiful for that poor man. Your hands were clasped together in your lap, your head adjusted to look at him in spite of your shyness and shame. Oh, he was so ruggedly handsome. You could get lost in that face again, but you had to restrain yourself.
“Ja- Snake, I’m so sorry-“ You couldn’t even apologise.
“I didn’t ask for an apology,” Snake gruffly interjected, his expression growing more stern and cold. “Why did you defect? Answer me.”
“I- uh, well, I…do I have to get into all of that right now? I’ll leave it at not agreeing with America and our government. We don’t have time to get into all that.” You huffed out, trying to gain some control over the situation. However, Snake was having none of it. “We have all night. Better question, actually,” he remarked. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
You chewed down on your bottom lip. You didn’t know the answer to that yourself, but you didn’t want him to know that. Snake’s eyes refused to look anywhere but your face, attempting to dig into your brain and reach what your true reasonings were. His pressuring gaze had you scrambling for answers.
“What was I supposed to say?” You said once you garnered your thoughts together, your voice softening with a smidge of sympathy, with your body filled with sympathy in actuality. You understood his pain, but it was hard to admit that you were part of the cause. You didn’t want to face the facts even with your understanding of his potential feelings towards you. Snake didn’t give a complete reply, only grumbling in registration. He took out one of his cigars, flicking a lighter and letting the flame bend back towards the end to light it. He would’ve offered you a turn, but he remembered you didn’t smoke and quit a long time ago. Of course he remembered. How could he forget anything about you? He was too afraid of forgetting what you sounded like, what you looked like, what you smelled like, and about everything else about you. He counted how long you two were apart down to the last hour. He remembered the exact time he last saw you.
Snake frowned, viewing you from the corner of his eye, then looking away with his back almost completely turned to you. The lack of response and how closed off his body language was presented was enough indication that even he didn’t know what you were meant to say to him. Your face twitched into a more empathising expression. He wasn’t big on emotions, so seeing him like this was a rarity. You couldn’t blame him though, with the whiplash of unfortunate surprises that were throttled at him. He was going through a lot and was still processing The Boss’ defection, so he was bound to crack at some point.
“How do I know I can trust you?” Snake mumbled, blowing cigar smoke from his lips and still avoiding your face. You cocked your head to the side, feeling tempted to grab his shoulder and make him face you, but you dismissed the idea knowing that he’d get far more defensive and quiet.
“That’s up to you to figure out,” you shrugged. “I can’t force you to trust me. But...”
You paused, standing up from the bed you were sitting on, shifting to stand in front of Snake. Your body towered over him since he was still sitting down. He finally looked at you, his cigar hanging between his thumb and index finger.
“Go on.” Snake gazed at you in anticipation.
“You’ll never need to trust me again. Take that as you will.” You spoke as calmly as possible. His expression shifted into something you couldn’t entirely decipher. It was partly him trying to decipher what you were implying, along with his uneasiness starting to show through cracks.
“Are you saying that I’ll never see you again?” Snake questioned, his voice sounding harsh and borderline frustrated. “Are you going to walk out on me for a second time?”
He didn’t know for certain that’s what you meant - maybe you were meaning that you would no longer be on missions with him, or that he wouldn’t need to trust you because he would automatically trust you. He was grasping at straws here. You swore you could almost see the desperation in his eyes, and it went straight to your heart. Truth be told, you didn’t really know yourself. You didn’t know if you could be with him again, or that this mission would be the last time you'd ever see him. That’s why you left it up to him to think about it until you could give a definite answer; there was no point in giving him false hope or promises you couldn’t keep.
“Like I said,” you tried to keep your cool, crossing your arms defensively. “Take it as you will. We’ve got bigger fish to fry right now anyway.”
Snake was getting annoyed with your constant dismissals. He wanted something honest and clear, for once, not these vague responses. In your defence, however, it’s all you could provide at the moment. Like you said, there were better things to prioritise.
“Fine,” Snake muttered. “Where the hell am I meant to go once it’s morning?”
You shifted to sit back next to him, not needing your whole guarded gimmick now. You guided him through the instructions to go from Rassvet to the nearby swamp, pass through a forest and another swamp, then to Granin’s research facility.
“Remember that EVA and I will help you over the codec.” You added with a sigh and stretch, feeling quite fatigued yourself. It had been a long day.
“Only on the codec?” Snake sounded disappointed. You were surprised and not surprised at the same time at how obvious his tone sounded, and it was honestly quite amusing, but you refrained from teasing him.
“My orders are only to supply you with information, Snake,” you huffed with a smidge of amusement. “I can’t let GRU get suspicious. Especially not Volgin. But…I’ll see what I can do.”
Snake almost smiled. Almost. Despite his anger, his frustration and bitterness towards what you did, he couldn’t completely deny that he wanted to see you. He missed you, more than he would admit to anyone. And maybe he’d get the opportunity to get you talking. He dropped his cigar and grounded it up with his boot now that he grew sick of smoking it, rolling his shoulders to ease some of the grown tension in his back.
“You should get some rest.” You suggested gently, your hand hesitantly going to his shoulder. The contact was barely there, if he hadn’t paid attention he probably wouldn’t have noticed it at all. Snake’s eyes went from staring at the floor to your hand, then your face. You couldn’t work out what he was thinking about right now, or if he liked the physical touch he was receiving from you. Judging how he didn’t flinch from your palm or push you away, you assumed he didn’t mind it. And you were correct; he didn’t mind it at all, he was incredibly touch starved after all. He missed feeling your hands on him, because you used to get really affectionate with him back then.
“I don’t think the bed is comfortable enough for either of us.” Snake frowned, staring down at it. It had no mattress at all or anything to call it a bed other than just a bed frame.
“I guess you’ll have to use the wall.”
“What about you? What are you going to use?” Snake asked, his brows furrowing.
“I’ll be staying up. I need to keep watch, remember?” You explained, giving his shoulder a little reassuring squeeze, wanting to give him at least some sense of security and safety.
“Right…” Snake paused, looking off at the wall again to avoid eye contact. “But you should still get some sleep yourself.”
It was his discreet way of showing care. He felt too awkward to outright argue against it, but he wanted to convey some form of compassion and care, because it’s truly what he felt for you. You gave him a little chuckle.
“I will. But you’re extremely tired, so go get some sleep.” You encouraged, his body slinking off the bed with a groan. He seemed a little less inclined to rest now that you weren’t going to be sleeping much yourself.
“Do it for me.” You added in a whisper. Snake mumbled something, but you couldn’t make out what it was. He was much more cooperative, though. His back rested against the wall, his eyes beginning to close. You smiled lightly at the sight, wishing you could offer him a blanket of some sorts, but alas this factory had absolutely nothing.
You thought about all the things you and Snake did together when either was falling asleep. You’d massage his scalp, hold him close, and sometimes - in actuality, very often - gently kiss his face. He’d do the exact same for you, practically shielding your body and holding onto you like you’d slip away. It’s a shame that his exact fear of you disappearing came true when he woke up the morning you defected.
He remembered falling asleep with you nestled in his arms, head buried on his bare chest and all your body weight pressed against him. You were the main reason he slept so well. He remembered the confusion when he woke up to nothing and a cold second side of the bed, and the dread and panic settling in when you didn’t appear at all that day. You felt guilty for cuddling him that night because you knew you’d be gone in the morning, but at the same time, you might as well give him one last cuddle before you had to leave.
The exact memory of your departure played in your head, gazing at Snake’s nearly asleep figure with pure guilt. You shook your head to yourself. You were here now, obviously you weren’t certain if it was completely temporary, but you were here. And you hoped you could stay.
Chapter 3: soviets n' spies
Chapter Text
“How did it go?”
EVA - currently disguised as Tatyana - mused. You straightened out the Soviet uniform you were provided, looking identical to EVA’s.
“How did what go?” You watched her roll her eyes in a playful manner, chuckling to herself, unsure if this was feigned innocence or confusion.
“Being with Snake. Anything happen?” EVA was clearly teasing you now, standing close to you while soldiers milled about the halls of Groznyj Grad.
“No,” you shook your head, eyes darting around for anyone close by while your voice lowered. “And don’t speak so loud about it! What if someone hears?”
And goddamnit, much to your dismay, someone did hear. Raikov. Volgin’s little loyal major, and obvious lover judging by the way they would publicly grab each other’s crotches. You tried your best not to cringe every time it happened, because you knew Volgin would punish you in his typical sadistic ways. EVA had already told you what kind of horrible things he’d do to her and a lot of other people in GRU.
“Hears about what?” Raikov accusingly inquired, staring down at you and EVA like you were little rats that were far beneath him. You gulped, quickly attempting to compose yourself and thinking of how to avoid interrogation from him. It was bad enough with Ocelot, but you couldn’t blame him because he was a spy himself. But considering you were on the same side, couldn’t he cut you a little slack?
“Nothing, we were-“
“Lelya and I were talking about,” EVA cut you off, her voice lowering to a murmur. “Lady things.”
EVA, you fucking genius. Use that excuse, because God forbid someone hears about menstrual cycles, or even worse, any other natural things to do with women’s bodies. It immediately made Raikov jump into disgust, muttering something about how disgusting it was to talk about that, then leaving you two alone. You exhaled, looking at her with raised brows.
“I forgot about that trick! Thanks for stepping in like that.” You smiled gratefully, EVA’s lips curling into a closed crooked grin.
“I’m on your side after all, aren’t I?” EVA nudged you, still giving you that smile. You felt an odd sense of security around her, even though there were signs of her not being entirely trustworthy. Nevertheless, there was an odd inclination that you should. She was at least helping you and Snake out so far, so even if she was working for someone else, you’d deal with that later.
“But as we were saying,” EVA got closer to you, her voice lowering in volume. “You and Snake seem to have some history together. What’s the story between you two?”
You felt your body tingle and go warm from how close she was to you, and the way her voice got more quiet so no one else could hear, but you shook off the feeling. You thought for a moment about what to say.
“He’s…it’s complicated.” You answered with a clearing of your throat.
“Complicated?” EVA repeated out of clarification. She studied your expression and your body language, seeing how your cheeks became slightly flushed. You yourself couldn’t tell if it was from the topic of Snake or the close proximity between you both.
“Do you hate each other?” She asked simply.
“What? No.” You shook your head. You didn’t hate him, you knew that for sure, although you weren’t certain if Snake hated you. Then again, he would’ve been a lot more angry if he hated you.
“Do you love each other?” You were certain that EVA was just trying to tease you, yet she didn’t look like she was. It seemed rather genuine, so you did your best to not melt into a stammering mess like a teenager being questioned about their crush.
“I…does it have to be one or the other? Women can just be, y’know, friends with men.” It was glaringly obvious that you didn’t want to admit those feelings. No-one could blame you considering you had literally just met EVA the night before. Or, well, technically weeks before that considering the Tatyana disguise, but whatever.
“If you were just ‘friends’, then why did you say it was so complicated?” EVA remarked. “It has to run much deeper than friendship for tension to be so…well, thick.”
“Is this relevant at all?” You hissed out quietly. You were becoming a little impatient with her mild insistence to know, it was too personal for anyone to know, let alone her. It’s not like it was her business anyway. You were unsure if she would stop now, or get annoyed by your very slight anger, but she was actually understanding of it.
“No, it’s not relevant. I’m only curious, I didn’t mean to be intrusive.”
You gazed at EVA for a moment. She likely was being truthful about only being curious, however, you couldn’t deny your thinking that it could be more than that. There possibly was a reason why she was so, well, kind of pressing on it. Maybe she wanted to bond with you? You weren’t too sure of that. What reason would she want to know your history with Snake?
A loud pair of footsteps could then be heard. Oh, great. It’s Volgin. He had that same stupid, menacing smirk on his face whenever he saw you and EVA. It was gross, and the way he looked at you both like fresh meat made your skin crawl.
“Tanya, I’ve been looking for you,” he bared a toothy grin, far from friendly. “I need you in my room. Now.”
You internally grimaced. The poor woman had to be Volgin’s lover and endure his sadistic pleasures, and it was clear enough to you that she didn’t enjoy it. She had already been electrocuted in front of you and many others, and it was such a painful sight to see. She timidly shifted towards Volgin, his hand snaking towards her shoulder with an iron grip. His eyes were now locked on you, inspecting your face and body. His face darkened.
“Where were you last night? Ocelot was looking for you.” Volgin interrogated. Before you could get the opportunity to talk, he harshly grabbed your face and squished your cheeks with his gloved fingers. You had your excuse memorised, and even bribed some soldiers to be your alibis. “I-I was assisting some of our soldiers,” you kept your voice steady. “They were getting paranoid because of that CIA agent. I didn’t want them to worry.”
Volgin did not appear to be satisfied with your answer. He stared down at you suspiciously, his fingers uncomfortably lingering on your skin.
“And why didn’t you tell me?” His voice boomed through your ears. “Are you that foolish that you don’t even bother to inform your colonel?”
His fingers swiftly curled around your neck, the force from his hand near strangling you while he lifted you up in the air. He had intimidating amounts of strength, and if that wasn’t bad enough, static whirled around his arms, racing towards his hand to electrocute you.
“Colonel, please-!” You cried out, your body pulsating in pain from the hot shocks. Your skin felt like it was bursting with heat, seizing out of instinct to try and wriggle from his grip. EVA was fearful and begged Volgin to stop, unsurprisingly to no avail. A sadistic smile crept upon his lips.
“This is what you deserve for not listening, Lelya,” Volgin mocked. “I expect better from you.”
He let go of your body, letting it thud onto the floor. He glanced over at EVA as a silent warning to let her know that this would happen to her as well if she stepped out of line. Then again, he would harm her anyway for his own sick pleasures. To add salt into the wound, he kicked your limp body, muttering about your insolence and then leaving with EVA with a forceful hand to her waist.
You coughed, getting on your hands to prop yourself back on your feet. On the bright side, he wasn’t interrogating you and he bought your story. Yet you had to pay the price for your apparent idiocy. And if things couldn’t get any worse, you heard familiar footsteps accompanied with spurs clinking. Great.
“What have you done now, you moron?” Ocelot sneered, grabbing you by the wrist to fully pull your body up. You pulled your arm away from him with an annoyed huff.
“I was saving my ass. That’s what I did.” You spat back. You couldn’t tell if you hated Ocelot or not. He was a double agent like you, but Snake didn’t know it yet thanks to his shenanigans during the Virtuous Mission, and perhaps why you weren’t that big of a fan of him.
“It wouldn’t hurt you to, you know, help me out a little.” You mumbled, grimacing at the remaining stinging you felt from Volgin’s electrocution. Ocelot tutted, shaking his head.
“It would only rouse suspicion if I did. Volgin’s already trying to sniff out spies.” He had a fair point. You and EVA had to keep your distance a little as well, you couldn’t blame Volgin for feeling on edge, and it would only get worse as Snake progressed through the mission. Anyone could see that he was getting some insider information.
“Come on.” Ocelot twitched his head to indicate for you both to go somewhere private. Fair enough. Nobody knew who was watching or who was around, and you always had to keep your guard up to ensure nothing spilled. It’d be a complete disaster if anybody found out.
Ocelot took you away to some storage room that would be a good enough place from prying eyes or cameras. Soldiers and guards probably might’ve had their suspicions, but likely in a more romantic context, which couldn’t be any further than the truth. It was better than them thinking it was sharing confidential information.
“You need to stay out of my way.” He stated firmly, and bluntly too. You stared at him blankly.
“What?”
“Snake cannot know I’m on his side,” Ocelot continued with a sigh. “I’ve just ambushed him, and if I do it again, you need to keep my cover if you’re around. Same goes for any other time the three of us are together for whatever reason.”
You clicked your tongue.
“Obviously. Do you think I’m dense? He already thinks you’re a nuisance and some obsessed boy, which you’re playing far too well for my liking.” You added your last sentence as a mumble, unfortunately being picked up by Ocelot.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He leaned closely to you, his silver eyes narrowed with irritation. It was clear as day that neither of you got along with each other too well, however that did aid yourselves in the mission since Ocelot had to act like an obsessed enemy.
“I mean that it’s a bit suspicious, that’s all. If you can play that part so well, then how do I know you’re not triple crossing us?” You were teasing him a little at this point, but what you were saying did hold some integrity. There is always a possibility of who seems to be a double agent becoming a triple agent. Or even worse, a quadruple agent.
“Don’t be such a fool,” Ocelot spat, shoving your shoulder and backing away. “If you’re to be worried about anyone, worry about that Tanya. She’s sketchier than the rest of us.”
You rubbed your mildly aching shoulder, nodding along.
“I already am. But she is helping, after all. I’ll use her to our advantage until she starts showing signs.” You responded. Ocelot hummed, about to open the door and let himself out.
“Be careful,” He said simply. “If we end up being triple crossed by that woman, we’re fucked. I don’t want to clean up your dirty mess.”
You scoffed, your face contorting with aggravation. He was too damn cocky for his own good. He was still a rookie in your eyes. But, you bit your tongue. You didn’t want to make your already tense relationship even worse.
“I’ll see you around, Lelya.” Ocelot sarcastically said, doing that signature hand gesture at you, and leaving the supply room with the door closing behind him. You don’t know why he left you alone there. Maybe to look less suspicious? More likely him just being an annoyance.
Ocelot was right, though. You had to be careful with EVA. If there were anyone to be suspicious of, it most certainly had to be her.
Chapter 4: damn it!
Chapter Text
“Hold on, what?! Are you alright?”
You were out of breath from racing away to somewhere private in the Ponizovje warehouse to make the codec call, your hands rubbing on your face. Snake gruffly sighed over the radio, the sounds of squeaking bats and rats heard in the background. You were being caught up on what just happened while you were unavailable to speak.
“I fell into a cave after an ambush from Ocelot, and I defeated one of the Cobras. That’s…pretty much it.” Snake grumbled, still feeling some pain from all of those hornets.
“I- you defeated one of the Cobras? Wow, uh, congrats! That’s one out of the way, on the bright side of things.” You awkwardly praised. You hadn’t done that in quite a long time. You cleared your throat before the silence got too long after Snake’s quiet thanks.
“Are you still on your way to Graniny Gorki? Did you reach the swamp EVA talked about?” You asked, glancing behind you out of instinct in case anyone had crept up behind you. Thankfully not. You had gotten better with finding places to communicate with Snake.
“Yeah,” Snake affirmed. “EVA’s been guiding me out of there. She’s a real great help.”
You only hummed in response. Ashamedly, you felt some form of weird jealousy bubble within you, over her doing her literal job. It was a strange feeling, and it was certainly bothering you.
“That’s great.” You mumbled, shuffling on your knees to ease both physical and emotional discomfort. More silence. Fuck. You had to save this from getting even more awkward.
“Um, so, how was it? Fighting The Pain, I mean.” There was a moment of silence on Snake’s end, and you felt your heart stuttering in slight panic.
“Are you feeling awkward?” It stopped stuttering. It stopped completely as soon as he said that. How did he know? You had to play it off.
“What? No. Why do you think that?” You were speaking too fast, and you did your best to slow yourself down so it didn’t worsen.
“Whenever you’re feeling awkward or trying to change the subject, you always stay silent for a few seconds till you think of something.”
Snake, you observant bastard. Your lips formed into a thin line, ready to fight these allegations away for your own dignity.
“Well, what if I just wanted to carry on the conversation? We haven’t spoken since Rassvet, after all.”
“What?” Snake questioned, his tone puzzled. “I thought your orders were only to supply me with information.”
You chewed on your bottom lip, your face ablaze with pink embarrassment. You were so glad to know that Snake wasn’t able to see your face. But even so…
“And you’re blushing too, aren’t you? You get quiet when you’re embarrassed.”
Your eyes widen with both frustration and shock. First of all, how dare he make this worse and try to make fun of you? And second of all, how did he remember all of these little details about you after all this time?
“Get back to finding Granin’s facility, you dick.”
You heard a hearty chuckle from Snake, then the disconnection sound from the radio. Your heart felt infuriatingly full from hearing that laugh, gruff from all his smoking, and your hands were balled into fists. A part of you felt content, on the other hand. He found lightheartedness in your words, whether that lighthearted tone be intentional or unintentional. It was relieving too, and gave you some hope that this mission could provide some reconciliation for both of you, but especially him.
With a heavy sigh, you packed your codec away and brushed yourself off and find something to do to make yourself less of a potential spy in Volgin’s eyes. Lucky for you, it didn’t take long for you to get asked for once you had gotten back to that warehouse.
“Lelya,” a familiar voice called over. “Come here.”
Your head turned to face The Boss. She was as glorious and intimidating as ever. You recalled your days of being under her wing and trained alongside Snake. It was still a shock that she defected to the Soviet Union.
“Yes, Boss?” You saluted her. She stared down at you as if she was peeling you apart layer by layer. Oh no. It was now you realised that The Boss wasn’t an idiot, and she had in fact remembered you too. For how long? You didn’t know. She likely uncovered your disguise as soon as she laid her eyes on you.
“You’re foolish to think that I never recognised you at all.” Her voice had lowered, your body going completely stiff. Fuck. It was over for you. You were a deer in headlights, gulping and quickly recovering your guard.
“I could kill you right now.” The Boss added, taking a hold of your forearm. She paused, the tension building along with the possibilities of what she could do to you. Perhaps torture you, or kill you on the spot. You trembled, preparing yourself to use CQC in a likely chance of self-defence.
“But I won’t.”
The Boss abruptly let go of your forearm, having you stumble back. Your eyes remained wide, glancing to your left and right to see if you weren’t alone with her. Nobody else was there, which was a little confusing since you had assumed she wasn’t going to kill you due to others being around, and it would be a bad look for her with your built reputation with your comrades.
“Wh-“ You tried to speak, wanting some clarification or elaboration, but she cut you off to continue.
“Have you ever wondered why I defected to the Soviets?” The Boss sharply inquired. There wasn’t any venom in the way she was speaking, simply just being direct. Her eyes were fixed onto you, a silent demand for you to talk to her. Perhaps she had something important to share.
“A…a little, I suppose.” You adjusted the cat eye shaped glasses that were a part of your disguise, despite your timid demeanour no longer necessary. It became second nature to you now, although that wasn’t exactly a negative thing.
“It was unexpected. I don’t see why someone who’s so loyal to their country suddenly turns their back without explanation,” You added. “But I guess the most dedicated are the ones to look out for sometimes.”
The Boss softly grunted in registration. Her gaze moved towards the floor in contemplation, getting you all the more curious as to what was going through her mind. Her face and body language visibly softened, her guard loosening.
“Y/N, I know you. I know you’re assisting Snake,” The Boss shifted closely, her hand firmly on your shoulder. “I…I can’t tell you everything now. But things aren’t what they seem to be, and I need you to tell Snake the truth when the mission is over.”
She was so…vulnerable. You had never ever seen The Boss loosen herself down like this before. You could make out the resignation in her face, she knew what was going to happen to her in the end and she was doing her best to accept it. The curiosity and desire to know more was growing like a steady fire - what exactly was the truth? What was she saying? Was the defection false, was it all a hoax to test Snake?
Her vulnerability didn’t seem to last much longer, immediately snapping back to her guarded self.
“And if you tell anyone else, specifically Volgin, I’ll let him know what you’re doing. And you won’t make it out alive.” She added threateningly. Your brows raised, nodding furiously in compliance to her request. The Boss was satisfied with your response. She returned a firm nod, blinking slowly. Her head then turned, now gazing at you through the corner of her eye.
“I would be more careful if I were you,” She suggested. “Volgin’s likely to catch on if you aren’t too silent.”
And with that, The Boss left. You were alone yet again, lonely with all your thoughts swirling in your head like a whirlpool. Your heart rate began to increase, the enormous weight of the mission slowly clamping down on your shoulders. There was so much to worry about; your relationship with Snake, EVA triple crossing you, the success of the mission, The Boss, being found out as a spy, Ocelot betraying you…it felt like carrying a stack of plates while walking on a tightrope. You fought back your shallow breathing once your back hit the concrete wall, but it was to no avail. Your hands gripped your biceps, back sliding down the wall and doing your best to pull yourself together. What if Snake called you or someone walked in? You didn’t want them seeing you having a breakdown.
Too many thoughts, scenarios, and ‘what ifs’ were rushing through your head, disconnecting from the real world. You tried to focus on one thing at the very least to get all the other things to shut up, but everything found their way back in. Your head was pounding. It was too much, and it felt embarrassing that this was happening, mainly because you had never heard of anyone else talking about having feelings like this. You wanted the world to go away, for everything to halt in its tracks for a moment at minimum. And if it couldn’t get worse…
“Lelya! What are you doing, you idiot?” Volgin’s voice shook through the room like an earthquake, his heavy footsteps accompanied by his irritated grumbles. You yelped, getting up on your feet, delving back into that forced obedient persona you had.
“Apologies, colonel!” You breathed out with a salute. He flashed a sarcastic smirk, grabbing your arm and dragging you alongside him, your feet scraping against the concrete floor. Your head turned back to capture the sight of EVA following him, her head tilted downward. She caught a glimpse of your short-lasted sympathetic expression so Volgin didn’t pick up on it.
“May I ask where we’re going?” You politely said once you all had reached the stairwell. Volgin let out a low ‘hmph’, tightening his grip on your arm and coldly glancing at you.
“We’re seeing that pathetic scientist.” Volgin tsked, and you now realised why his grip on your forearm tightened. With little warning, he threw you down the concrete stairs, your body thrashing down the steps and hitting against the wall. You yelled out in pain, grabbing your sides and likely breaking a rib and injuring other parts of your torso. Your glasses had fallen with one of the lenses being smashed, part of your disguise being ruined too. Your teeth gritted together, recalling your training and pulling yourself together despite the intense pain. You’d broken your bones, gotten shot and stabbed, and hurt yourself countless times on the fields, but damn, this hurt. Volgin laughed at your suffering and pained expression, his eyes fixing on EVA with a dangerous glint. He mocked you about how this was punishment for having him drag you around.
“Such a strong girl.” He condescendingly commented. He pushed EVA, almost having her fall down the stairs too, but she regained her balance. She grabbed onto the railing in case Volgin tried anything, but he surprisingly didn’t. She went over to you and helped you up, noting your temporary limp and your clearly harmed body. EVA wrapped one of your arms around her shoulder, that mix of gasoline and perfume filling your nostrils yet again, and holding you close to help you walk.
“How cute.” Volgin mumbled, rolling his eyes and pushing past EVA. He had you both follow him out of the warehouse and out to the docks situated in the river. The cold night air hit your face, not doing any help with your multiple injuries. You wanted to rest up and heal, but you weren’t expecting any opportunity to do so. A guard stood by Sokolov, clearly harassing him and he was having none of it. You were fairly zoned out till the support EVA was giving you was withdrawn, and she was now being electrocuted by Volgin to emotionally torture Sokolov. Your face contorted with a mix of fury and empathy towards EVA. You were furious that she was subject to his tortures too, who wasn’t facing his wrath at this point?
Unbeknownst to you, Snake was observing all of you from afar via his binoculars. His stealth was strong enough to conceal him from any lingering eyes, and even yours. He cringed at seeing EVA getting electrocuted, although not realising it was her and assuming it was some poor KGB agent. His eyes moved away from the horrific scene and Sokolov’s begs for Volgin’s mercy, and were now fixed on your injured body. He instantly recognised you despite your disguise. He frowned, he never liked seeing you hurt regardless of how often it happened, and wondered how it happened. Then the obvious answer came up, which was being a victim of Volgin’s sadism. He couldn’t wait to kill that man, and even more so now. He continued to watch, seeing EVA getting electrocuted some more and being clearly used to have Sokolov suffer secondhand. The poor girl.
She fell to the ground, her body twitching with the pain of electricity still rushing through her. You wobbled over to her with your bruised body, but got pushed back by Volgin before you could reach her. You felt even angrier, and desperately wanting to beat the shit out of him, but you couldn’t now. You were hurt, and wouldn’t be able to CQC him with a naked arsenal. Besides, it would be too suspicious anyway.
Ocelot had decided to join the chaos and appear out of nowhere, spinning around his revolvers and trying to scare Sokolov. He inserted one bullet into one of his three revolvers, doing his stupid gun tricks and playing some Russian roulette with him. You groaned at the sight, seeing Sokolov pissing himself out of fear.
“God, Ocelot, will you stop being such a narcissistic show off?” You grumbled, your brows lowered in anger and some of your hair falling over your face. He nearly dropped one of his guns, his spinning flow being lost by your interjection.
“What are you gonna do about it?” Ocelot mocked, giving Sokolov a glare. “You’re lucky, old man. Are you gonna hobble over and hit me, Lelya?”
Ocelot kept twirling the revolvers around just to be a little shit.
“I’ll beat the shit out of you, you meowing little cun-“
“Shut up, both of you! Stop bickering like siblings, and shut your damn mouths.” The Boss yelled as she walked out of one of the warehouse exits, grabbing one of Ocelot’s guns and shooting the singular bullet into the river. She gave you and Ocelot a nasty glare.
“There’s no such thing as luck on the battlefield.” The Boss watched him grow embarrassed and disappointed, his head lowering slightly and his eyes escaping hers. Volgin laughed heartily at the sight, gesturing for the guard to take Sokolov away, accompanied by him commenting about you having a ‘feisty streak’.
”You better stay in line from now on,” The Boss lectured, keeping his revolver away from him like she was confiscating it. “The Cobras can take care of him. And that goes for you too, Lelya.”
She was now looking at your injured figure. She narrowed her eyes at the sight, ultimately deducting that it was Volgin’s doing. She groaned internally at his unnecessary abuse, but she unfortunately couldn’t do much to fight against it, even being on your side. The Boss went back to Ocelot, removing the barrel from his revolver and shoving it into his hands. He scoffed at the sight of the now useless gun, rolling his eyes like a petulant child and storming off back into the warehouse.
“Has the CIA dog been disposed of yet?” Volgin questioned as soon as Ocelot departed. A pit grew in your stomach in the obvious reference to Snake. You knew he was alive, and had survived the first Cobra member, but that didn’t mean you still didn’t worry about him. You looked around subconsciously, trying to disassociate slightly to ignore Volgin’s outburst once learning The Pain was killed. That poor wall was being punched into. Then…your eyes fell on him.
Snake was still watching from a distance, and you weren’t able to lock eyes until his binoculars went back onto you. He was hardly visible thanks to his impeccable stealth, but you noticed him. You gave a slight, reassuring smile despite your pain. It warmed his heart, a feeling that returned to him when you first met again back in Rassvet. He hoped to have another conversation with you in person rather than speaking over the radio.
“What are you smiling at?!” Volgin shouted, grabbing you by the throat. You snapped right out of it, your expression filled with fear and dread of him taking his frustration out on you.
“I-!” You squeaked out, feeling his hand on your neck tighten while the squeak of wheels from a wheelchair were heard, coming from The Fear wheeling out The End. An excuse did its best to make its way out your lips, but Volgin’s pressure on your throat made you unable to talk. You were on the verge of passing out, but you were unexpectedly saved. A loud gunshot was heard, which had come from The End getting fatally shot by a mysterious person. That mysterious person being Snake. He couldn’t take anymore of Volgin’s abuse towards you.
Volgin let go of you, The Boss and him staring at the now dead Cobra with outrage. The Fear was immediately ordered to find who killed him, quickly scurrying across the water while Snake made a silent escape. Rain began to fall, with Volgin taking the injured EVA away to his room to likely let his anger out at such an unanticipated event. It was only you and The Boss again. You limped over to head back inside the warehouse, The Boss staring at you without saying anything. She gave another quiet nod, and went back to staring off into the distance, like she was searching for someone in particular.
Chapter 5: gettin’ frisky
Notes:
hey guys sorry if the formatting is kinda shit..my google docs refuses to be nice to me
also apologies for possible spelling errors, i kind of completed this randomly (like i just finished it a couple minutes before uploading) despite it lying around for over two weeks. been too busy to work on this fic 😞anyways hope you enjoy this chap
Chapter Text
Security and paranoia had heightened since The End was unexpectedly eliminated, and it was absolutely unbearable. You couldn’t contact Snake at all, and neither could EVA, so God knows what was happening to him right now. You expected he was facing The Fear at this point, and you prayed he won the battle and could continue the mission. You felt so much more on edge, and far more cautious with what you said and how you presented yourself. You couldn’t risk any suspicion, despite being under protection by The Boss to tell Snake the ‘truth’. For now, you were laying low until things had eased, at least a little bit. You’d take any possible opportunity to call Snake.
“Look at what that idiot did,” Ocelot complained to you quietly, the two of you doing some patrols in the jungle. “He’s screwed himself over by doing that.”
You nodded in agreement with a heavy sigh, rubbing your eyes tiredly from the stress and fatigue that came from all of this. You were wishing that Snake didn’t take out The End already out of convenience. It ended up being more inconvenient for everybody else.
“It’s idiotic for sure. But he’ll pull through. He always does.” You huffed, your boot snapping on a twig that came in your path. Volgin had forced the two of you to patrol in the jungle along with the Ocelot Unit to keep an eye out for Snake and work out how far away he had gotten after killing The End. Obviously he would somehow slip from your fingers and escape alive if you found him, because you couldn’t jeopardise the mission due to enforced orders. He was far away by now anyway.
“I still forget you had a life with Snake, to be honest.” Ocelot had a faint smirk on his lips, only seeming mischievous. You rolled your eyes playfully, a tiny smile appearing on your face.
“Yeah, but a good chunk of us came from American defection anyway. Not my fault our government is lustful for war and conflict.” You retorted.
“Do you think that’s also why The Boss defected?” Ocelot questioned. You raised your brows a little, surprised by the question. You figured that he had worked it out already or didn’t care that much about her since he rarely talked about her with you.
“Maybe. But why would she use war to fight against war? Seems a bit counterproductive, in my opinion.” You hummed, stopping by a river and watching the waters rush together. You spotted some fish, trying to recall what particular types would be found here from your survival training.
“But aren’t you kind of doing the same?” Ocelot raised a good point. His head turned to you, silver eyes carefully analysing your face. You narrowed your eyes in response.
“I’m not the one setting off nuclear warheads.” You remarked. Ocelot huffed a quiet laugh, but it wasn’t insulting as usual. You did enjoy your conversations with him, and he wasn’t an entirely bad guy. He was a good team member.
Your eyes went back to the river and fish. You thought about your survival training with Snake, and how he’d eat just about anything. It was something you oddly admired, and making you wish you had a real thick stomach lining. He encouraged you to eat more, even if a good amount of the wildlife tasted horrible. You smiled faintly at the thought, noticing two fish swimming past. One was going faster than the other, while the other looked like it was trying to catch up, till the other fish disappeared completely, leaving the slower one all alone. Your smile faltered a little. You stopped looking at the fish.
“Hey,” Ocelot began, taking notice of your fallen expression. “If the colonel calms his panties down, I’ll buy you some time to check on Snake.”
You perked up, your eyes staring at him with surprise. You didn’t expect such random kindness from him, but then again, it’s probably helpful for him too to check if Snake is still alive at the very least, so you weren’t gonna praise him too much for his favour. It was still a nice gesture however, and he likely picked up some ideas of you once being close with the man.
“That’d be…” You paused, glancing back at the water then looking at Ocelot. “That’d be wonderful, Ocelot. I’ll let you know how the mission is going.”
“Remember our code words,” Ocelot reminded. “‘Garden’ for when things are running smoothly. ‘Apple’ if things are getting complicated. ‘Temptation’ if it’s going horribly wrong.”
You nodded in affirmation. You likely should’ve established these code words some time ago, but better late than never. You continued your patrol with him, engaging in conversation still since you were separated from the remainder of the Ocelot Unit.
“What do you think about Tanya?” Ocelot inquired randomly. You thought to yourself for a minute, giving a quiet hum while you pondered some opinions about her. You liked her, and she was assisting you through the mission.
“She’s nice, as far as spies can go, and she’s helping out quite a lot. With covering me and also assisting Snake.” You answered. Ocelot’s eyes fixed forward, another question bubbling into his mind and then coming out his lips.
“What about EVA? I haven’t seen him at all yet, I’m starting to get worried.”
Your heart dropped. You instantly thought back to the night you and EVA (or his ‘replacement’) met and the explanation she gave you. Your heart began to uncomfortably race, and you stopped in your tracks. Ocelot too stopped walking, his eyes going wide.
“He…he had to be withdrawn from the mission, right? And replaced by Tanya?” Ocelot slowly shook his head in response.
“No…I saw him just as he left to rendezvous with you and Snake.”
You felt like you were going to have a heart attack. At first you thought that Ocelot wasn’t informed either, until he told you that he saw the real EVA leave to rendezvous with you. Fuck.
“What happened to the real EVA then? Because he definitely wouldn’t be ‘unable to make it’ as soon as he left! Unless…”
Your mouth stayed agape, the possibilities whirring through your mind till you and Ocelot settled on the most probable answer. Or the most probable in both of your opinions.
“She killed him.” You both blurted out in unison. You groaned loudly, irritated at your own foolishness for letting her slip past. You should’ve known since she never answered the password! But you were too enamoured by her fighting off those soldiers, and the smell of her perfume…damn it.
“I was right about her triple crossing us,” Ocelot smirked, but the smile went away as quickly as it appeared. “But you are going to need to dispose of her as quickly as possible. Like I said before, I’m not cleaning up your mess.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know,” You rolled your eyes in response. “I’m assuming she’s after the Philosopher’s Legacy too?”
“Most likely.” Ocelot affirmed. He glanced around the vicinity, seeing the sun was beginning to set. Volgin was probably satisfied with the patrol since it was ongoing till sunset now, so Ocelot concluded that it should be finished up.
”I’m leaving it up to you to figure out what to do with her. That’s if you’re even competent enough for it,” He said condescendingly, beginning to leave you be. “I’ll go distract Volgin and buy you some time. Don’t take too long.”
Trying your best to not overload your brain with this unfortunate - but not completely unexpected - knowledge, you hid away from any open space and set up your radio frequency to call Snake. You had your outdoor gear on, so you thankfully didn’t have to run back in and grab it all and likely rouse some suspicion.
“EDEN?”
You let out a heavy breath you didn’t even realise you were holding in. Your back hit against the tree you were leaning against, head tilting back and a smile of relief curling onto your lips.
“Snake…how are you holding up?” You asked, just honestly and genuinely asking. You wanted to hear his voice. As did he feel the same way.
Snake was on the other end, having defeated The Fear. The adrenaline was still pumping through him, but was now simmering down. Your voice had always soothed him, getting him through tough nights of insomnia or in times of extreme loneliness. He missed it.
“I’m alright.” He answered, truthfully. He shuffled his position, his weight balanced through his right foot and left calf, hunched over to help himself stay hidden.
”That’s really good to hear,” You smiled gently to yourself. “Sorry EVA and I weren’t able to call you at all. Security clambered down from your little stunt with The End.”
Snake huffed on the other end of the radio, the smallest bit of amusement coming from your lighthearted and mildly discreet scolding. He caught himself smiling a little, but didn’t bother to hide it. Why would he anyway?
“It was an easy kill, what can I say? Not much left to go now, since The Fear’s now in the gutter.” Snake chuckled quietly, his smile brightening just a tad when he heard a little breathy laugh come from you. A moment of silence washed over, but it wasn’t as awkward or tense as it was before. It was warmer, and comfortable. Like the silences that would settle over the both of you when you’d held each other close, or when you’d stare at each other just to analyse your faces.
“How are you holding up, Y/- EDEN?” Snake nearly slipped up himself. He couldn’t wait to be able to say your real name again, nor could he wait to hear you say his. He longed to hear how you said it, and in other contexts. He gulped, catching himself just before his mind could go down that route. Why was he even thinking about that? You had just reunited, after all.
“I’m alright as well, I suppose. I’m healing up not too badly.” You huffed, your body still spiking up with some phantom electricity, if that was even a thing. You could feel it still pulsing through you, and it got more intense when you were trying to sleep. But that painful energy began to shift gradually, slowly delving into another feeling…a familiar sensation that hasn’t coursed through you in a while.
“Good.” Snake gruffly said. He shifted his position ever so slightly, keeping his guard up in case someone on patrol decided to pass this area. His mind drifted again, fixing on thoughts about you. Oh, you. He couldn’t resist the scenarios that would pop into his head every now and then throughout this mission, wondering just what would happen the next time you saw each other. He and you both hoped it wouldn’t be as tense as the first time; and it was likely that was the case. The codec calls were less and less awkward, so it was certainly a promising sign.
“I was wondering,” He continued, his voice low. “How long do you think it’ll take for me to meet you at the mountains?”
Snake listened closely, noting your gentle hum while you calculated the approximate time. His mind drifted, again. Now that you were here for certain, although temporary, he couldn’t help but recall all of those memories of your past relationship. It wasn’t ‘official’ by any means, very much being barebone, but it was still something. It’s not like you could tell anyone about your relationship anyway. You answered his question once you could give a rough idea, but he wasn’t paying attention anymore. His mind was far too gone. Fuck.
He gave some half-assed responses, being so internally thankful you had gone off on a tangent so he could indulge more in those thoughts. And unsurprisingly, he felt his cock growing in remembrance. Pondering on the occasions where you could get sexual with him, whether it be quick dry grinding or long pounding sessions when you had enough time and it was secluded well enough. Survival missions were amazing for this. You could go on for hours and blame it on some mishaps, and those ones were the roughest. All of that built up tension, draining away from his cock into your pussy…
Snake chewed on his bottom lip, his hand going to his rock-hard bulge without realising at all. He didn’t think he would be able to relieve it fully, but maybe he could treat himself and give it a little bit of attention. It’s not like he would get caught.
“Snake?”
Your body went warm and stiff, catching on those heavy breathing sounds coming from his microphone. At first you assumed it was him trying to move around and nearly getting caught by a soldier, but you heard no movement. You knew exactly what he was doing, however refraining from calling him out on it. You had no idea on how to approach that in the first place.
“Ngh…y-yeah?” Snake stammered out, his cheeks burning red in embarrassment. His hand withdrew from his crotch, as if you were able to see him and his full body. He composed himself, regulating his breathing as best as possible.
“Just making sure you were still listening.” You coyly explained. Snake subtly sighed in relief. You kept talking about the mission, going on about the next Cobra member he had to face after he met up with you in the mountains, your hand starting to go below the now unbuttoned and unzipped waistband of your camouflage pants. Your clit was throbbing, and you figured you should also treat yourself to some stimulation. It would relieve stress, after all, and how you were feeling about Snake also masturbating with you.
You couldn’t be too slick yourself, your breathing evidently getting harder and heavier the faster you circled your clit. Snake picked up on this and it only made him all the more horny and desperate. He rubbed on his hard dick, both of you chewing down on your lips to muffle moans. You both knew what the other was doing, but you assumed the other couldn’t realise what they were doing. It worked in favour anyway. He felt close to climaxing; having not touched himself in a real long time. You were really getting into it, two of your fingers now shifting together to finger yourself. And just as he was about to finish…
“Oh, shit!” You hissed to yourself, the crunching of leaves alerting you. Whoever was there was some distance away, so you had some time, but it was very little. You ended the codec call, scrambling to pack everything away and tidy yourself up. You needed to wash your hands ASAP, and your vagina wasn’t pleased with this outcome.
Snake grumbled in frustration hearing your end of the call go dull and to pure static. He was so close to finishing, but he supposed he shouldn’t have cum-stained clothes. Blessing in disguise, perhaps, yet his sexual frustration remained. Oh well, maybe there would be another time. He was quick to fantasise already, but snapped himself out of it. He missed you like hell, but he didn’t think it was really all that good to go straight into fucking after all these years. He didn’t even know if he’d see you again after this, so it would be an awful plan to get attached and deal with the bitter heartbreak after you fled from his hands again.
He desperately needed to be cautious. He can’t allow himself to get hurt again, and his vulnerability with killing The Boss is an existent issue in the first place. He would need to get colder.

Eyehategod on Chapter 1 Sun 21 Sep 2025 04:31AM UTC
Comment Actions
GRGRGRGRGR1baddiee on Chapter 1 Tue 21 Oct 2025 03:35PM UTC
Comment Actions
cheriejoestar on Chapter 1 Tue 21 Oct 2025 05:37PM UTC
Comment Actions
Eyehategod on Chapter 2 Sun 21 Sep 2025 04:53AM UTC
Comment Actions
cheriejoestar on Chapter 2 Sun 21 Sep 2025 08:43AM UTC
Comment Actions
chickenteriyki on Chapter 5 Thu 16 Oct 2025 05:51AM UTC
Comment Actions
cheriejoestar on Chapter 5 Thu 16 Oct 2025 10:17AM UTC
Comment Actions