Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Good evening, citizens of Ireland. We’ve received an intriguing report of unusual bat activity from a civilian half an hour ago. They reported spotting larger-than-usual bats alongside a swarm at 6:22 PM sharp and claimed that it was led by vampires. While most vampires today have found their ways to coexist peacefully with humans, some of them are still predatory and can harm humans to survive. We can’t confirm if this claim is true, as well as the cause of this phenomenon, but until then, it is advised to not approach any bats and let any strangers in your house at night just in case…”

Somewhere in the forest, a pair of vampires flies under the dusky sky accompanied by a small bat swarm.

“No luck again, hon. It’s been three years since we’ve been scouting all over this continent.”

“C’mon, my love!” The masculine sounding vampire answers. “This generation has taught us to gamble in the right place. And surely my instinct WILL be right tonight!”

“That’s the 43th time you’ve said that over the span of this month, hon.” The other pouts. “You need to know that your beautiful wife misses her home.”

“Yes yes I know…” Sighs the big vampire. “Hopefully there’s somewhere to rest here. We’ve been flying for hours now.”

“You asked and the gods answered! Look down!” The weary bats noticed tire tracks in the dirt below them. “Somewhere safe is up ahead.”

“Excellent! I’ve got a great feeling all of a sudden. Let’s hurry!”

—

“And Uno! Again!”

“Of fockin’ course…”

Seán and Daithi finish another game of Uno. An unbalanced one to say at least, for the latter’s energy was lower than the tireless werewolf. 

“Alright, put away all the shits. I’mma sleep now.”

“Let’s see if most of the cards are still here. See ya tomorrow… or in 7 hours.”

The ghost gives Seán a faint nod before disappearing and retreating to his magical rock resting on the fireplace shelf.

“Alright. Time to put away these cards…” 

The werewolf yawns and looks around the living room. Dan is out to go somewhere important and will return early in the morning, so the lads decide to throw a party all night long. So now we have Kevin sleeping on the couch, fetal position style, with a torn bag of garlic chips on his probably-smells-like-garlic jacket he’s hugging. On an armchair nearby is Brian, sleeping shirtless with his head up with his shirt over his shoulders, covering the mechanical side of his chest. There’s an undiscarded box of pizza, empty cans of beer and coke, destroyed uno cards, someone’s phone charger, and finally Kevin’s freshly bought Switch 2 on the table. The living room’s carpet is dirty and reeks of beer. Some puddles of water here and there. Sauce and ketchup stain on the floor, chairs and even on the wall.

“Oh man, Dan’s gonna be so pissed.” Seán remembers his busy friend’s warning that if they were to make a mess then they have to clean it up themselves. Unfortunately, damage has been done and nobody has enough energy at the moment. “Welp. Sleep first, clean later.”

knock knock knock

“Hello? Anyone home? We need a place to crash in please.”

Seán turns his attention to the main door. Overnighters? Who could be out here this late? And who would come here in the first place? Still, his curiosity gets the better of him, and he navigates his path carefully, trying not to make too much noise as he approaches the door. By the time he’s a dozen steps away from the door, he’s already crawling on all fours instinctively.

“Do you want me to try, honey?”

“Even if you put up your gentle voice, I doubt anyone’s gonna listen! Do you think the owner sleeps in the living room or something?” The crawling werewolf pouts at the sudden yet coincidental guess. “But then again, there’s lights from there…”

Without needing to look from the peephole, Seán can already tell that there’s a man and a woman out there. They sound lost, that’s for sure, but the werewolf’s nose picked up a strong, odor-like smell from behind the door. Or maybe that’s the taste of beer still lingering from earlier. He’s too tired to think properly.

“Hey! Someone is there, right?” The male visitor whispers loudly. “Your breathing doesn’t sound healthy right now. But anyway we need somewhere to stay over the night now. We swear we’ll leave before you know it!”

Something about this stranger’s voice is so friendly and soothing. It didn’t take our tired werewolf long to stand up and open the handle without hesitation.

“H-hey… Sorry for eavesdropping.” Seán opens the door just enough for him to take a peek first, and his stranger danger instinct was wrong this time. The visitors are just lost campers. “What are you two doing out here?”

“Oh sorry, fine lad!” The man in his early 40s answers. “Me and my wife were chased by hangry wolves and now we can’t find our way back to our site!”

“We even forgot our supplies.” Sighs the woman in her 30s. “An embarrassing move.”

“That sucks.” Seán opens the door wide. “Come in, it must’ve been cold. Be-” He yawns uncontrollably mid-sentence. “careful though. We already have many people here.”

“Thank you, young lad! We’ll just find a corner and stay there quietly.” 

“Stay somewhere my friends won’t see.” The werewolf’s voice and movement are sluggish. “They look dangerous… But they’re-” He yawns again, this time twice as long. “nice and usually won’t hurt strangers… randomly…”

“Why is that man covered in metal?” The woman notices Brian first. “And yikes, my husband’s organizing skill is still much more bearable than this.”

“Uh… He’s cosplaying. We’ve just had a party.” Seán yawns yet again as he walks over the couch. “Sorry for that. Plus we aren’t actually… the owners of this place. The owner is a vampire… Wait no cosplaying as a vampire… And uh he’s out. What I’m saying is that he’s currently not here and not a vampire. Yeah.”

“Cosplaying, huh? Well I’ve gotta admit that you lads did very well.” The older man smiles. “You did well with your ears too.”

“Thanks… Anyways… Make yourself at home and… make sure to not disturb… any of us…”

thud

Seán collapses by the couch, limbs tucked in like a dozing pup.

“Oh. There he goes.”

The camper couple stand in dead silence.

“Hey… You heard him mentioning a vampire earlier, right?” The man breaks the silence.

“Yes, dear. But I-”

“No need to dig further. I can already tell that we’ve struck diamond, honey!” The mysterious man flexes his body, and his clothes suddenly transform into a strange gothic-like suit. “What an honest werewolf, that guy is. Now, let’s begin our setup phase…”

“Well then~” The woman makes a short twirl, and her clothes change into a dark purple dress swiftly. “Let’s hope we are right for real this time.”

Both of them laugh quietly, their eyes shining red as ominous darkness fills the room.

—

The sun slowly rises its way through the country of Ireland. Birds are chirping, flowers are blooming, and one particular vampire flies hurriedly his way home. He appears to carry a bag of something with his mouth. After winning the race of time, he lands carefully in front of his mansion before returning to his human form.

“Home sweet home.” Daniel drops his bag and grabs it with his hand. “Can’t wait to show them these.”

He digs his other hand in his pocket, searching for his keys as he walks to the porch.

“The others must still be sleeping.” The pale vampire thinks to himself. “Not a normal occasion when the place is this quiet. Hopefully nothing bad happened.”

Dan puts his key in the hole, but to his surprise, the front doors were unlocked.

“Okay, what.” His smile drops. “There’s no way they were careless enough to leave the door open. Unless…”

With a worried expression, the lanky man opens the door wide and is pushed back for a bit by a strong blow of wind packed with intense darkness and malignant energy.

“Oh gods, what did you guys do this time.”

He steps into the dark living room and turns on the light, and any sign of nice thoughts vanishes as soon as he sees the mess his friends have made.

“Of course.” The vampire drops his bag. “Of fucking course.”

Many pieces of furniture are flipped and moved roughly, in addition to the misplaced group photos on the walls. Trash and litter are everywhere, along with a faint smell of leftover food all over the place. And amidst the clutterstorm is a shirtless Brian, still sleeping soundly.

“Brian!! What did you guys do!?” The vampire dashes to the dead asleep cyborg.

“Mrrmm… Fuck off David, get your own limbs.” The sleepy man grunts.

“C’mon, wake up! This is serious!” Dan shakes his friend’s shoulders violently.

“Urgh… Ogh- AH!!” The cyborg’s body jolts and he drops his shirt. “What the hell, Dan!? Are you stripping me off!?”

“NO!?” The vampire puts his hands away. “Just- Gah… Sorry for disturbing you this early, but what did you guys do last night?”

“Jeez, don’t need to be so loud.” The burly man puts on his shirt. “We had a lil party last night. That’s all. Don’t remember much.”

“A lil?” The vampire crosses his arms and makes a mildly annoyed face.

“Uhh… well…” Brian slowly takes in the room as his senses boot up. “Damn. What a mess.”

“Saying like you didn’t contribute to it! Where's everyone?”

“I… don’t know?”

As if their confusion couldn't get any worse, the lights in the room go out.

“What the!? Who did that?”

A spotlight appears high above. A dark figure stands there, facing away from the confused men.

“There he is.” The figure says, his voice grim and menacing. “Our search has finally paid off…”

“Hey! Get out of my mansion!” Daniel shouts impatiently.

“...Bruh. You are not supposed to ruin my intro like that.” The figure drops his tone. “Oh well, I’m making it quick then.”

The stranger snaps his fingers, and he vanishes only to reappear slightly closer to our men.

“My name is Mallach O’Bother, or Malvin for short. I am a powerful 546 year old vampire lord.” He begins to gesticulate. “For the past centuries, I have been looking for folks of my kind to train and bless them with a fracture of my own power. Sadly, it has become harder over the years as vampires are being hunted and are struggling to survive today’s harsh conditions. That is until today, when we come across your humble house, Daniel. The stars aligned themselves for this moment.”

“Sorry, I don't think I need your help, let alone your presence.” Daniel responds passive aggressively.

“Don’t be so rude now, my fellow vampire. You should be happy that I’m not like 99% of the other vampire lords. They won’t be so kind like me, let alone give you a taste of my power. And y’know, you should understand the pain I went through to get here. Living in the big 2025 is not an easy job.” The vampire lord shrugs and smiles. “You hafta keep up with the new gens and their trends. Can’t afford to fall off, so I gotta stay sigma and keep the rizz up, or the kids will have you looking like an NPC.”

“...”

“...”

“Dan, can we kill this guy?” Brian whispers to his confused friend.

“Well, what I’m sayin’ is that this is a once in a lifetime chance, Daniel! At least the best reward could be some new useful tech to protect your friends-”

“I’ll say one last time, no thanks. My friends are strong enough to protect each other. Now where are they!?” Dan raises his voice slightly.

“Glad you asked!” Malvin smiles brightly. “Separated and lost in your own home. Except for your cyborg guy. We forgot to lock him up, lmao. Actually I should do that now.”

The vampire lord whistles with his fingers, summoning a big, black and gooey hand from the dark. It snatches Brian promptly followed by it pulling him into darkness.

“GAHHH! DAN! HELP ME!” The cyborg cries helplessly.

“BRIAN!! NO!” Our vampire shouts, and he finally loses his cool. “YOU! Give me my friends back!”

“If you can pass my trails fair and square, homie. And you better start movin’ dem legs, or you may never see your friends again.” The villainous man fades into the dark. “Don’t P-M-O till then~”

“You!” Dan flinches before trying to look for the stranger, but it is obvious that this vampire lord was serious and powerful. Maybe he was right. Dan could use some vampire power training. His night vision isn’t doing well like it should be right now, and so are his senses. Can’t even feel any signs of his friends in his usual detecting range too…

A door opens nearby, alarming the contemplating man. A red carpet rolls toward him from the path that leads to the kitchen, along with a colorful neon sign that says “Trial 1 this way” slowly materializing at the end. Must be the weird guy’s doing. With no other choices, the lonely Daniel treads carefully to his first trial.

—

A man in his early 30s sleeps peacefully somewhere in the mansion. He’s laying on a deep blue couch, hands hugging his orange hoodie. The couch isn’t the biggest or the best, but is still comfy enough despite its age.

“What a deep sleeper. Must’ve been dead tired last night.”

A woman in a purple dress stands on the other side of the small room, guarding the human. A couple moments later, the human slowly opens his eyes.

“M-muh… What-” He yawns loudly. “What time is it…”

“Look at that.” The strange woman approaches the half-asleep man. “Good morning, Kevin.”

“Oomph… Dan..? Is that you?”

“Oh, no. You silly hunk of meat.” She smiles. “I am something far, far more powerful than him.”

“W-where’s Dan?”

“So eager. He isn’t here. Doubt you’ll see him soon. Now, do you know where you are?”

“N-no.” Kevin rubs his eyes. “Did I get kidnapped again?”

“Not really, you’re still in your best friend’s mansion. Somewhere deep and hidden. Oh how fun it was for us to find this place.” A grin grows on the lady in purple’s face. “And how fun it will be for your friends to struggle finding you.”

Kevin squints, trying to process what’s happening before him. But just as soon as he seems to form a thought, he goes back to sleep.

“What.” The mysterious woman sounds surprised by this action. “You’re in danger, you foolish hunk of Irish flesh. At least shouldn’t you be worrying about your friends?”

“Nah, my friends ‘re strong. I’ve been in worse situations before, they can handle this just fine.”

“How irresponsible. Are you always like this?” Before she could finish asking, Kevin is already back to his dreams. “Wow. Wonderful.”

—

Daniel now stands in what should be his kitchen, which now looks like a barricaded shelter during an apocalypse. Furniture and cabinets are moved to block every window, the occasionally flickering lights in this room are terribly dim, and for some reason, the path to the dining room seems to be swallowed by pure darkness.

“Oh bother... This is gonna take me a whole day to put everything back to place.”

“Yo again!” The villainous vampire appears right beside the swearing man, startling him.

“AHH! GET OUT!!!!” Dan jumps and completely falls over.

“Oops. Sorry for scaring you, soft guy.” Malvin’s voice carries a trace of apology. “How old are you to get lowkey spooked out this bad?”

“How old are you to think it’s funny to scare people like that?” Our poor vampire grits his teeth as he stands up. “Your fault for turning MY place to a hellspace.”

“Aye, don’t worry. It’s all an illusion right now. You seem to have failed to notice my power to manipulate people’s vision. As long as I’m here, you’re never going to see your real house and sunlights again!” The vampire lord scratches his chin. “Well, not much of the latter.”

“Better start telling me what to do then.”

“Ok!” Malvin points to the path to the dining room. “Go through that.”

“You want me to go through that? The way looks so dark I feel like I’m looking with my eyes closed.”

“In The Maze of Darkness™, beings with night visions like us can still see what's inside, let’s see if your vision is good enough to pass through my advanced darkness! See ya later!”

With a laugh, the playful vampire vanishes, leaving Daniel alone again. With a long sigh, he enters The Maze of Darkness™.

The first thing that greets Dan as soon as he enters is a swarm cardboard cutouts of monsters of all shapes and kinds. Other than that, this place isn’t that bad, aside from the dark. If anything, it looks like an abandoned low budget amusement park. Nevertheless, it’s quite interesting how that vampire weirdo is capable of creating this.

It took our vampire 12 minutes to stumble on a dead end. But his instinct tells him there’s something behind the wall before him. He carefully inspects the wall which appears to be made out of dangerously jagged wood. There’s a nearly faded image of a red button painted on it.

“Guess I’ll have to find it to open up this wall.” Grunts the irritated man. If he has to be honest, this maze so far is a mixed bag. It’s not the difficulty, or the overdone theming, or the old decorations that annoy him, it’s the mundane walking. At least he’s alone and safe.

BANG!!!

Right after Dan turns his back, a crash erupts from somewhere nearby, followed by a painful howl. Whatever sense of safety he had is gone now.

“God please help me.”

Backtracking to search for nooks and crannies the panicking vampire missed, he notices a long and narrow hallway with very faint red lights at the end. Here, he hears an unsettling howl similar to one earlier. Wasting no more time, he shifts to his bat form and flies as fast as he can. Just before the final turn, a cardboard cutout springs from the wall and our poor Daniel slams face-first into it.

“Aghh! F-fuckin’ hell!”

The whimpering vampire transforms back to his human form and hugs his face in pain. Before he could start recovering, he hears footsteps echoing from the hallway. Oh god. Something has been chasing him. This is it he’s so done so dead he’s gonna die in an illusion and no one’s gonna save him.

“Dan…! Daniel….! There you are….!”

A four legged wolf runs towards the curling man. It’s hopping in joy like it’s about to eat its first meal after months.

“Dan!! Goodness gracious you’re safe!” The wolf shifts into a human and hugs the hurt man.

“Ungh…! S-Seán…?”

“I thought I was gonna be a goner!” The werewolf sounds like he’s crying from joy. “I woke up alone in this dark place and I couldn’t find anyone at all!”

“I- Ack- You’re hugging me too tight!”

“Oops, sorry.” The hyperactive man lets go of his friend. “So how did you get here?”

“Hold up, my face…” The relieved vampire touches his cheek and realizes that the pain earlier is gone. As if Seán’s appearance lifted them away.

“Did you get hurt?”

“N-not anymore.” Daniel now has fully regained his composure. “Let’s continue, we need to find and press a button over here to exit.”

“Oh! That button looks evil. But I’ll trust you.”

The pale vampire presses the button, causing deep mechanicals rumbles to echo through the maze.

“That does it, let’s get outta-”

Before he can finish, a loud, inhuman growl reverberates from somewhere nearby. Heavy footsteps follow, along with the sound of destruction.

“Oh shit! WHAT was that!?”

“Stand behind me, Dan!” The werewolf stands to guard his friend. “The sound is really close, something is coming!” The noises return, even clearer this time. “Don’t worry, we’ll face whatever’s coming together. It won’t stand a-”

A massive skull crashes through the wall, its roar thick and jarring.

“AHHHHH!!! LET’S RUN!!” Seán shifts to his werewolf form and flees first.

“You said you were gonna protect me!!” Dan yells and does the same before the monster gets closer. “Whatever! Follow me!”

The duo return to the wooden wall Dan found earlier to find it still opening up at snail speed. Fortunately, the vampire swoops and passes easily first thanks to his size, while Seán has to shift back to his human form and slither through the barely 3 feet tall gap.

“Whew, my clothes are still fine.”

“Good for you, c’mon!”

The exhausted duo races up a staircase, guided by a colorful exit arrow painted on the wall. At the top, they’re greeted by a burst of confetti, balloons and a man clapping.

“Congratulations, Daniel!” The vampire lord blasts an airhorn. “You survived AND managed to find a friend! All of that in 18 mins and 34 seconds, a poggers-worthy new record!”

“Thank gods…” Our duo gasp for breath. “We didn’t sign up for this.”

“The Maze of Darkness™ is full of sick surprises, isn't it? I can tell that you’ve gotten stronger even with my eyes closed!”

“Yes, and you know what?” Daniel grits his teeth and lunges at Malvin. “I feel strong enough to kick your dead body out of here now-”

“AHHHH!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!”

A terrifying image of what seems to be Daniel himself laying on a puddle of blood appears in his mind. Even if it was brief, the image seems to have ingrained in his brain, causing enough mental damage to knock him back and convert all of his rage into fear.

“Dan!! W-what happened? What did he…” The shocked werewolf kneels over his fallen friend.

“That could’ve happened if you were to recklessly fight me now.” The vampire lord grins. “Even if you sell your soul for endless strength, having a weak mind will make you vulnerable.”

“You…” Seán helplessly glances at the enemy he won’t be able to fight back. “I should have let you freeze to death last night.”

“Too bad, wolf boy. Some mistakes are permanent, but please don’t think that I’m one.” Malvin shrugs. “Anyways, after your friend recovers from my Trauma Flash attack, tell him to follow me.”

The remorseless man walks away, hands crossed on his back. Everything falls silent to leave Seán comforting his poor friend.

“Yikes, I don’t know whatever he did, but that was unforgivable.” The caring werewolf pats his crying friend’s back.

“Seán… I want that fucker to die so bad…”

“Normally I don’t like telling others to die, but you’re right on this one. Please stay strong. We’ve still got the others to find, then maybe we can kill the shit outta him!”

“...Thank you…”

Seán continues to hug Dan gently and rubs his back.

—

Meanwhile, in a dark, void-like place, a green soul floats aimlessly. He appears to be sleeping.

“Dayum… You look real hot girl…” He mutters. “But why are you so cold… Huh?”

Daithi slowly opens his eyes to find himself in a pitch black world. Well, he thinks he did, it’s dark either way.

“Where the hell am I?”

He moves his body around, searching for any sign of light. But there’s nothing here. The confused ghost can only feel cold, empty, hairy… Well, he always feels like that all the time. Then he hears heartbeats from somewhere, and it sounds like it wants Daithi to locate it. The sound is so clear, as if it’s from his insides.

“That doesn’t make sense."

Regardless, the green ghost chooses to search for the source. After a while, he finds himself before an empty door frame which slowly lit itself up as he approached it. It reveals itself as a mirror, and Daithi can see something reflected on it.

“Oh. What. The. Fock…”

—

Seán looks at the windows, pondering about something. Even though everything beyond them is covered in black, he still can tell that it’s noon right now. 

“Hey, Seán. I think I can go on now.” Daniel has survived his personal nightmare, albeit still a bit shaky.

“Ah, great! Let’s go. I’m getting hungry, let’s hope we can grab something after this.” The werewolf’s stomach is growling as he speaks. “This way.”

“We’re on the second floor, doubt there’s anything for us to eat here.” The vampire looks behind him. “How did we get up here from the kitchen anyway?”

“Beats me.”

The duo stops at a door with a label saying “Trial 2”. None of them remember what this room used to be. But now, there’s a raw, intense, and chaotic energy waiting to be unleashed behind the door. Seán finally chooses to pull the handle after minutes of hesitation. They enter the room to see what looks like a hybrid of a science lab and a gameshow stage. Decorative tools and pictures are placed neatly around the room, radiating friendly vibes.

“Welcome, boisengirls, to Malvin’s Extremely Awesome Tests!” The man’s current clothes are similar to a science teacher’s. “Took you long enough. So are you ready to train your vampire powers?”

“Wow. Weird setup.” Seán doesn’t know whether to be surprised or questioning.

“All of this for your dear friend!” The wacky vampire laughs. “You shall train your vampire skills here. It’s technically more mental than physical, you’ll see that soon, Daniel.”

“What, you think I’m a newborn?” Dan crosses his arms. “At least this will be easy.”

“We’ll see about that. Let’s start Level 1!” Malvin turns over to the observing werewolf. “B-T-W, there’s free food for you on that table over there. Feel free to eat while you wait.”

“Yes!!” The hungry man hops into the corner and begins feasting.

~ Level 1 - Drink the right glass! ~
“The participant must use their smelling ability to find the correct glass of blood! Be careful, EVERY other glass contains unsafe liquid, so avoid them at all costs!”

“Oh, nice. I could use some blood right now.” Dan reveals his fangs, face full of readiness.

“Heheh… Alright. Ready… steady… DRINK!!”

The gameshow-host-like man blows a whistle, and Dan instantly grabs for a glass and downs it in in a flash.

“PWWWAHHH!!” Dan spits out the few drops still in his mouth, wincing in pain. “THIS ISN’T BLOOD!!”

“Lol. Lmao, even!” Malvin laughs at the unlucky vampire’s suffering. “Just so you know, I used a special technique to hide the smell and change the color of every glass here! You just drank a spicy one.”

“AHSHWKHSKHDK SHAWN GIB MI WATER.” The tongue-out man struggles to speak properly as he stumbles toward his friend’s table. He sounds much much more Irish like this somehow.

“Mmph- here!” Seán finishes swallowing and hands Dan a fresh, cold bottle of red juice.

“THANK.” The puffing vampire chugs the bottle slowly but greedily. He drinks over half of the bottle after a brief while. “Ugh… That fuckin’ sucked.”

“Tsk tsk tsk.” The vicious man shakes his head. “It’s only the first challenge and you already fell off big time. Want to start again?”

“Hold on… This drink…” Dan looks at the bottle on his hand, then to Seán. “This… This is blood! Where did you get this?”

“Oh!” The satisfied werewolf burps. “From this box down here.”

Both of them look down the table and find a box with a label “Malvin’s drinks”.

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Confetti fires around them, apparently that counts as a pass.

“Ha! Easy!” A smug grin returns on our vampire’s face, in contrast to the other’s, who clearly aren't pleased with this outcome.

“It’s still the blood you’re supposed to drink, so congrats on the clutch.” Malvin frowns. “Didn’t get to see someone accidentally drink the glass of gasoline this time. Oh well.”

“Blame yourself for the bad placement.” Dan laughs. “And thank you Seán, for finding that box. Saved so much time. Wait were you drinking the bottles earlier.”

“No! I was only given mineral water to drink. Lame.”

“Whew. Okay then.”

~ Level 2 - Control the pests! ~
“With your hypnosis power, control the pests and do special tasks. Concentration is highly needed, as distractions are all over the place!”

Malvin places a cage with a fat rat inside on a long table full of various courses. 

“This will be the specimen for you to control, and the only one. There could’ve been more, but I couldn’t find any healthy rats.” He stands back and pulls out a brass whistle. “It can’t get easier than this, and there won’t be another chance for you to clutch again. Got it?”

“I don’t use my hypnosis power much, but I’ll give it a shot.”

“Good luck!”

After the whistle blows, Daniel takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, drawing power to his brains. He opens his shining red eyes wide, targeting the big rat.

“Nice! Piece of cake, right?” Seán cheers at a safe distance.

“Not really. I haven’t even opened the cage’s gate. He has to make the rat do that itself.”

Dan has only started hypnotizing the rat and it’s already so tedious. This creature’s so stupid that he’s having problems controlling it. Minutes of maneuvering later, the deeply focused man finally understands how to control a pest much smaller than him and proceeds to push the cage’s gate.

“Now here’s the fun part.” Malvin takes out his phone and presses something before cranking the volume all the way up.

“TOP 10 MINECRAFT 🔔✨️ MYTHS TURN OUT TO BE FALSE💀! Y-”

“THIS IS THE WORLD’S FIRST EVER AI CHATBOT, AND YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE HOW SUCCESS-”

“SPRUNKI SPRUNKI SPRUNKI GET FUNKY FUNKY FUNKY-”

It appears that blasting obnoxious short contents was his choice of distraction, and it’s evident that it’s working extremely well.

“Oh shite.” Seán cringes. “What a dirty move!”

Dan’s already sweating and losing focus just in seconds. Now he understands why sometimes Brian’s jealous that the outmoded man doesn’t know a thing about modern media.

“THE LAST PERSON 💨 TO LEAVE THE CIRCLE 🌟 WINS 10,000 DOLLARS💲💲-”

“HEY HEY LOIS 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ CHECK THIS OUT I THINK WE’VE GOT A NEW SEASON-”

📳🎵

An incoming phone call cuts and silences the torturous audio.

“Hol’ up, it’s my wife. Gimme 6 seconds.” The now occupied man walks away. “Hey honey…”

Six seconds is just enough for Daniel to refocus and make the controlled rat push the gate. But he’s still only at the starting line.

“...yeah we’re busy. Keep him down there thank you mwah.” The dapper man dashes back to his previous spot and continues playing noxious audio. Just like that, Dan’s focusedness is being drained again.

“I can’t just stand here…” The werewolf thinks to himself. “Wait, that guy told his wife to keep who down there…? Kevin!?” A lightbulb appears on his head.

“I ASKED A THOUSAND VIEWERS TO SEND THEM THEIR BEST MEME-”

“🎤🎶🎶 NOTHING BEATS A JET2 HOLIDAY, AND RIGHT NOW-”

“Are these amazing sounds too harsh for you?” Malvin pretends to sound sorry. “Blame yourself for isolating yourself and refusing to live up to society, man. How haven’t you drowned in loneliness is a question everyone would ask you.”

“Hngggh… You…”

“Psst, Dan!” Seán gets close to the struggling man. “Don’t win this challenge because he wants you to, do it because you want to save Daithi, Brian and Kevin. Do it for us!”

“I- Kevin… Shit…!” Something seems to awaken in the agitated man. It was the power of friendship and mom-friending.

“I see that! What did you say to him-”

“AAAAAAAAAA”

With a yell, Daniel’s body jolts and he poses powerfully. His face is fully locked in and his eyes are perfect red. Fueled by a sudden surge of power, the rat rises to its feet and lets out a scream before charging forward at super speed, smashing through obstacles.

“N-NANI THE FUCK!?!?”

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Even though the rat passed the finish line, the power it gained was overwhelming. It jumps off the table, ignoring gravity, and crashes through a nearby window. Seán and Malvin could only stare eyes wide and jaws dropped as Daniel stood valorously.

“Y-yeah! I’ve still got my friends to find!” The energized man turns to the vampire lord. “YOU. Give them back this instant!”

“..!” Malvin puts all his guard on, but drops them as soon as he realizes something. “Damn! You’ve gained immunity to my Trauma Flash ability!? Well- I- You still have 1 last level before you can rescue your best friend and shit! Calm down.”

“Oh.” Dan’s powerful aura deflates as fast as he gains it.

“Yeah. The game isn’t over yet, boyo. Now get ready for the last level.” The mildly exasperated man walks away. “I’ll make sure you won’t clutch again.”

“By the way,” Malvin stops to listen to our vampire. “I can look like I’m drowning in loneliness sometimes, but I haven’t succumbed to it, and I won’t.”

“...Good for you.” The not so amused man continues preparing the next challenge.

“Whew, that was exhausting.” Our now ordinary vampire lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Thanks, Seán, for helping me again.”

“No problem.” The helpful werewolf smiles gleefully. “By the way, I think the guy is making us go up instead of down, where I believe Kevin is at.”

“I can’t feel him or anyone else anywhere near us still, but I hope you’re right. And hopefully we can sneak our way out soon…”

~ Level 3 - Find yourself! ~
“Vampires don’t see their reflections on mirrors, but these mirrors aren’t for that! Look through them carefully and find the right one. Will you work with or against yourself?”

Dozens of mirrors varied in size are placed all over the now spacious room. All of them aren’t reflecting anything at all at the moment, as if they’re like an unplugged screen.

“This is the final level. When I activate the mirrors, you’ll need to find the one that truly reflects you and who you are.” The moody vampire cocks his head. “But you, (un)fortunately, already understand who you are, so I’m changing the rules just this time. And almost forgot…”

Malvin pulls out a big and expensive looking chewing bone. Its design is simple, but the texture betrays its godlike quality that no toys can compare. One glance at it and Seán gives up every human instinct. He didn’t need to fight the urges, they’ve already won as soon as an inch of the chewing toy enters his vision.

“Just for you, wolf boy, now kindly stay in the empty corner right there and don’t disturb us, ok?”

“Yes… Yessir…” The werewolf replies mindlessly.

“Ok cool.” The wealthy man throws the toy, followed by an instantaneous catch from Seán as he grabs it with his mouth mid transformation. And with that the impish werewolf throws himself to the corner and forgets the world around him.

“Jeez.” Daniel is completely dumbfounded.

“Alright let’s start the final level!” Malvin presses something on his phone, and unexplainable noises whirs around the room. “Say hello to your friend.”

A mirror slowly floats in front of the wary vampire. It begins to reveal a man in a damaged green shirt with a pancake art and shortened black jeans. His body is intact.

“Huh!? Daithi!?”

“Dan!! Get me outta here!!”

Then a mirror floats around the puzzled man, slowly showing another Daithi.

“Holy fock! I’m stuck! Save me!”

And every other mirror begins to float, showing Daithi in his flesh one by one. They are all screaming for help.

“Let’s see how well you know your friend.” The devilish man laughs. “No one’s gonna help you now, including me!” He vanishes into the endless cries for help.

“Ey! The others are impostors! I’m the real one!”

“Don’t trust them! I know your exact birthdate and age!”

“I know everyone’s likes and dislikes and that too! Suck my arse!”

This is all too much for our overwhelmed Dan. He can only step back uselessly, unable to find where he can even start. Is there a time limit? Does he only have one chance for real this time? What would happen if he chose the wrong mirror? As the powerless man steps back, he accidentally steps on Seán’s tail, causing him to drop the chewing toy.

“OOF WOOF WOOF!!!” (NO MY BONE!!)

The frenzy werewolf jumps around, searching for his toy, but blindly knocks over a tall, slender vase. It crashes onto a poorly placed mirror, and the impact is strong enough to bring the mirror down too, triggering an unexpected domino effect. The countless trapped Daithis scream as they can only watch the unstoppable destruction before them. 43 fallen mirrors later, Dan and Seán finally move from their safe spot. There is now only one mirror lucky enough to not get hit during the fallover.

“Holy shit that was scary.” The stirred vampire checks for any injuries. Unfortunately, the deluxe chewing toy is nowhere to be found.

“Hooooo…” Whimpers the sad werewolf.

“That’s another wasted toy. But we have more important things to do, let's go!”

“Fine.” Seán shifts back to his human form, followed by mournful salute. “Goodbye, Chewy the II. It was fun while it lasted.”

The duo approaches the surviving mirror. Surprisingly enough, it’s still Daithi who’s trapped in it.

“So… you’re the real Daithi? Daithi De Nogla something?”

“Of fockin’ course, dumbass!” The trapped man fails to hide his happiness. “I was stuck here for god knows how long, and god knows why. God also knows why I’m in my human body, but we can talk about that later. Can you get somethin’ to break the mirror?”

“Sure, but you should-”

“COWABUNGA!!” The tireless werewolf throws a book from a safe distance.

“Aaahhhh!!!” The two panicking men jump away just in time before the book hits the mirror. The glass shatters but the frame is still floating magically.

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Silence fills the room, everyone was suddenly waiting like they were waiting for a miracle to happen. Daithi takes a step for the first time in years. Passing through the mirror frame and shards on the floor, the silent man raises his head and takes a deep breath.

“I’m… alive. I’m alive!!”

“YEAHHH!! WELCOME BACK!!!” Seán immediately grabs Daithi over him for a hug.

“HELL YES!! I CAN FINALLY STOP CRAVING FOR PHYSICAL INTIMACY!!” The man in green laughs in joy.

“This lord’s illusion is strong enough to bring him back to life. Wait…”

“AND DAN!! HOLY HELL YOUR BODY’S COLD LIKE I EXPECTED!” Daithi hugs Dan and cuts the latter’s thought.

“Oh- Wow… Well, and your body’s warm, I guess.” He pushes the happy human away gently. “Anyways, we need to find the others before the fucker returns! We’ll explain things on the way.”

“You’re making me exercise as soon as I’m alive? Whatever. Lead the way.”

Our vampire’s party exits the room and races to the basement.

“Hoo-wee mama!” Malvin reappears in the room. “The bathroom here is so nice, kudos to the ownerGOOD LORD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?!?!?!?”

The carefully crafted room barely survived a storm so horrific, its current state shouldn’t be described.

“I should’ve trapped that bad dog outside.” The no longer unserious man pulls out his phone and dial someone. “Diana, get your weapons.”

“Oh, they’re on the run already. Doesn’t matter. I hope I don’t end up taking their lives~ See you soon, hon.”

“You’ve cleared all my games, Daniel.” A predatory grin grows on the angry man’s face. “Things will get very, very serious now…”

—

The three rushing men made their way down to the first floor. It’s still dark down here, and everything still isn’t in their place, but their determination is enough to shine the way and guide them down to the basement. As expected, the once familiar but memorable basement has turned into something unimaginable by their standards.

The place is now something straight out of a western heist movie. The hallways are long, modern and packed with twists and turns and burn marks here and there. The atmosphere is metallic and acrid. Finally, some gooey, greasy black substances are littered around the place. They look like they connect to each other, and why does Dan think he's seen them before?.

“Damn. I can sense strong power here even as a human.“ Daithi scouts around first.

“I sense something- no, someone else here. Two people. Must be Brian and Kevin?”

“You better be right, Dan.”

“Hey, who said Kevin might be down here earlier?”

Their attempt of humor is enough to lift the tense energy. But as soon as they let their guard down, a silhouette appears behind the bearded man.

“DAITHI! BEHIND YOU!”

The mentioned man ducks quickly, dodging something sharp just in time.

“Wow. Cheap ass move!” Daithi runs back to his friends. 

“Watch out, it’s the freak’s wife!”

“You’re correct, vamp guy.” A woman in a purple dress appears from the air. “Good job getting down here fast.”

“Oh no, she’s hot!” Seán couldn’t help himself but compliment.

“Thank you~” The vampire lady smiles. “My name is Diana Sparks. Feel free to remember that name, for it might be the last name you’ll ever remember.”

The woman stands on guard and closes her eyes. With an elegant twirl, her dress changes form into a dancer-brawler hybrid tight suit, now with a purple-orange gradient. Her hair magically ties itself to a sleek ballet bun style as she turns her back backwards and summons a long spear. For the final pose, she makes another twirl and her clothes’s trailing ribbon curl themselves up neatly. The tip of her spear heats up and becomes a controlled spark of flame.

“En garde, weaklings. Let’s see if you’re a match for the Flarepiercer!”

The trio had already gotten away while she was transforming.

“Tch. Unbelievable.”

“Huff… Huff… Wow, I didn’t know my stamina was this bad. Big downside from being human.”

“We know right…” Daniel sighs. “What should we do now? You’re too frail right now to fight her, Daithi.”

“Yeah, and that lady’s weapon could burn my fur if I was a wolf.” The werewolf sweats.

“Maybe Brian can help us. Wait, I can feel him nearby!” The bearded man walks around and trips over a clump of black substance. “Fock! Ok being a human sucks.”

The accidental slip has caused the clump to vibrate intensely. Thinking something might be coming out of it, the trio gets back on guard and waits for the worst. A human hand punches through the pitch black goop. It reaches at a spot above it, desperately clawing to get the substances off. After blind grips and pulls, half of a familiar face manages to pop out.

“Brian!! You ok!?”

“Mmmmrrph!!! Mmmrr-” The clump of blobs vibrates again. “MMMRRPMPHHEL-”

Before anyone could make a move, Brian is sucked back into the black blobs.

“No! Give him back!” Daithi kicks the hardening clump, hurting his feet in the process.

“Shit! How do we get him out?”

“That’s the neat part, you don’t.” The vampire lady stands menacingly from the distance. “Only we know how to control the Microblobs. Maybe you can find out when I capture all of you!”

“Oh crap, run!”

Our trio spreads and sprints their own way. Dan and Seán pick the side paths, while Daithi picks the path the Microblobs retreat to and chase it down.

“Oh, the thrill of hunting! I feel 100 years younger already!” The vampire lady shifts to her bat form, going for the werewolf throat first. “Come, Flarepiercer!”

She summons her spear and throws at Seán without aiming. As the spear travels through an intersection, it hits the big blob that Daithi happens to chase. Damaged by an effective hit, the clump jumps and latches onto the roof. Some of the blobs fall down the floor, enough to expose Brian’s arm again.

“Seriously!?” Diana recalls her weapon, now aiming for Daithi. “I should hunt the easier targets more often.”

“H-hey…” The man’s frozen in his spot. “I haven’t showered for a while, you might regret this… OH!! LOOK OUT!!”

“What?”

Seán makes a great leap and pounces on the opponent. He makes another leap to Daithi and carries him on his back.

“Nice one! Let’s keep that up! And holy shit I’ve gotten light enough for you to carry me like this.”

“We’re not done yet!” Diana easily catches up. She throws her spear at the werewolf again. He barely dodges and got some of his fur burnt.

“Oh fock! Lemme extinguish-” Seán, however, bounces in place in panic thanks to his reflexes. Unable to brake in time, the vampire lady passes under the werewolf as he lands. “Ouch. That’s gotta hurt!”

“Ungh-!” The lady returns to her human form. “You’ll regret that!”

Without waiting for her to recover, Seán, back in better condition, jolts the opposite way to continue chasing the clump of darkness. Meanwhile, Daniel’s trying to race against the mentioned clump on the roof.

“Brian! Can you hear me!?” Brian gives a thumbs up. “Great! Can you try to grab me!? Keep grabbing and maybe you’ll grab me eventually!”

Hesitating for a second, Brian flexes his arm and begins to grab around him blindly. It only takes him 4 tries before successfully grabbing his friend on the next try.

“Okay! Now I’ll need to climb up your arm to get rid of these things. Sorry if it hurts!”

The arm flexes again, harder this time. The skin is thick enough for Dan to climb safely. But the smart blobs quickly noticed him. It starts to send smaller clumps down and tries to kick the clinging bat.

“Gah! Get off me!” Thankfully, his training earlier made Dan supple enough to dodge the falling blobs.

“Grahhh! Stop moving!!” The angry lady’s roar can be heard from a distance.

“She’s coming...!”

Taking the risk, our agile bat fling himself up, successfully latching onto the clump. Using as much blob to form a hand, the clump switches its intent to flick Dan away. He flings himself again up to the thumb of the black arm and gnaws at it intensely. With enough effort, the clump is further damaged and it drops more of its blob down, dropping the staggering bat in the process. 

“Nghhh! Perish this instant!” 

Diana and her prey are still racing down below. The fierce woman takes aim and is ready to throw her spear with full force. Right before she does that, Daniel lands on her face, causing her to miss the mark and throws the spear at the slowed clump of blob on the roof. It’s now damaged enough to expose Brian’s legs and half of his face again.

“Yes! Brian’s almost free! Just need to-” Daithi’s sentence is cut off as his cavalry trips over a block of blob. Both of them fell over and rolled a rough distance.

“Seán! Daithi!” Dan returns to his human form, trying to reach for his injured friend.

“Stop. Right. There.” The exhausted hunter points her hot spear at our vampire. “No where to run now.”

Their luck finally runs out. The other two men are still on the floor on the other side, and there’s no way Dan can beat this woman unarmed.

“It must’ve been an honor for you to have survived this long. But fun’s over, and I don’t break my rules. Have any last words? Not like I’ll remember them but y’know.”

“I… I…” The sweating man looks around nervously. Then he takes a few steps back. “I didn’t hear no bell!”

“Huh?” The hunter stands in confusion. Not aware of her own Microblob clump clinging on the roof right above her.

“AND HIS NAME IS BRIAN HANBY!!!” Brian breaks free from his cage and performs a devastating diving splash, landing on the panicking woman below.

splort

The landing was successful. Brian stands up and opens his arms wide in badassery.

“Who missed me, ya feckers!?”

“BRIAN!! MY MAN!!” Daithi embraces the heartful hug first. “Man! Your body is as big and awesome as I remembered!”

“I’ve only been gone for hours, don’t say that. Also you’re taller and hairier than I expected!” The burly man’s face shifts. “Wait why are you alive.”

“Dunno. All I know is that he can bro fist and play games together like a normal human!”

“Are we not going to talk about how you look right now?” Seán limps to the group. “You’re back to a normal human like Daithi!”

“Really!?” The ex-cyborg looks at his other arm, flexing it before using both of them to caress his face. “So that’s why I don’t feel… heavy. Being a cyborg was more convenient though, I’ll miss that.”

“I hope you’ll enjoy being a mortal again.” Daniel’s face is still serious. “All of this is an illusion created by that bastard, so expect to return to their normal selves again.”

“What!?” Brian’s eyebrows furrow. “Well, we’ll try to enjoy this as long as we can. Don’t expect us to help you much though, this will be a major disadvantage for me and Daithi.”

The lights abruptly went out before anyone could make a move. Mechanical whirs echoed around the place. The ground shakes and shifts as a threatening aura grows in the dark. The lads stick close and brace themselves. Moments later, the shaking ceases just as the loud noise slows and stops as well, followed by spotlights shining ahead. Who appears in it does not need to be said.

“Well well well! The little bat somehow vanquished my amazing wife and her tricks.” Malvin reveals himself. 

Another spotlight lits behind the lads, along with a tall curtain. It opens to reveal the fierce woman earlier, somehow in perfect shape.

“I was right when I had to use one of my gadgets.” She holds a football sized sphere full of the black substance earlier. A familiar logo is imprinted on it. “But it’s proven that my Microblobs have gotten crusty. Guess I’ll consult with the seller again.”

“We’re surrounded…” Dan sweats. “What do you two want now?”

“Just a few things. First: your friends AWAY!”

The mighty man signals to his wife, and the latter switches her item to her spear before charging straight at our lads, knocking them but Daniel across the room with the safe end of the spear.

“GUYS!!!”

“Stay off.” Diana brandishes her spear. “You don’t want them gone, don’t you?”

“Thank you, honey!” Malvin blows a kiss. “Now NO ONE, even gods themselves, can help you!”

“W-what else do you want now?” Our nervous vampire gulps. He knows this is going to be the final battle.

“Oh yeah. Second: now look at your number 1 friend! Diana, the human, please!” The elegant woman flies to a big, locked vault and cranks a lever, slowly opening it. “You must be DYING to finally see your beloved human that we’ve only got to see at the beginning of the story for a couple lines. How scared he must’ve been, alone and hungry in a dark room!”

The huge vault door steadily opens, emitting an unrealistic amount of fog. They gradually fade to reveal a man laying on a small couch.

“Zzz….zzz….”

“...”

“...”

“Oh right. He’s still dead asleep since the last time I checked on him.” The strong woman dusts her hands. “He’s too lazy to bother to wake up.”

“Ah… Um… Well at least I think he’s having very bad nightmares right now? At least???” The flabbergasted man replies.

“He’s like that sometimes.” Daniel couldn’t help but add to their impression.

“Well… He’ll be the final reward anyway. The sleeping beauty guarded by a beast. The trapped princess in a tower. The last S in S.O.S. The… Forget it. You’re gonna have to beat me in a fight to save him. Deal?”

“...Bring it on.” The lanky man prepares himself.

—-------

THE NOCTURNE PIT // COFFIN CIRCUIT

DEAD FANGS
Mallach O’Bother

VS

Daniel Condren
COUGHING BAT

One night. Two misfits. No mercy. The final battle of strength and wits. 

—-------

The basement is now a large wrestling ring. The place is lit by a large bulb overcasting shadows around the central part, leaving everything beyond its reach in darkness. Props and empty chairs scatter around the lower zone, most destroyed and fallen over. Seán, Daithi and Brian are tied to their chairs in lassitude. Unlike Kevin, who sits with his tilted upwards, still in his peaceful dreams.

“Ladies and (actually just) gentlemen!” Diana, now in referee clothes, stands on the center of the ring as the judge. “Welcome to the nocturne pit where REAL vampires are born and bones are broken!”

Stock clapping sound effects reverberate around the room.

“Let’s not waste anyone’s time further! On the left, we have the much feared, old but gold, never faltering and beloved husband: DEAD FANGS!”

Malvin snoops into the fray with a wide cape that doubles as wings. “I don’t speak for applause. I bite for silence. When I step into that ring, I don’t fight, I’ll feed!” He throws the comically oversized cape away, revealing a robust, professional-looking man in a sleeveless suit and knee-length shorts.

“Ahh! Isn’t he captivating?” The clapping intensifies. “All of his enemies will die before they know it, because they’ll be stunned by that alpha bod! Now, on the other side… Coming from Ireland, this small and frail challenger enters the pit for the first time, weighing in at who knows how many pounds… COUGHING BAT!”

The audio mutes almost instantly when Daniel, still wearing his tattered suit, crawls his way to the ring. “God I just want this to end.”

“Y-you can do it…!” Seán cheers weakly. He doubts his friend could hear him like that, but something in him knows that his friend did.

“Place your bets now! I’ll triple your payout if you back the right fighter.” The referee winks, her expression dripping with mockery.

“No, let’s save them for the ambulance fee. Wait, someone might not even survive before they arrive!” Malvin cackles. “The house always wins, so feel free to join us.”

“Save the call for yourself.” The leering man mutters.

“There are rules you must follow.” The referee raises a finger for each point. “Number one, no chickening out. Two, try not to die. Three, vampire powers are allowed. And finally… Go crazy!” She summons a battered airhorn. “Get ready! The only round begins as soon as I use this!”

“Oh bother…”

“I hope you’ll use everything you learned from your training. Don’t disappoint me.”

“Ok, no more playing around. Five! Four! Three!” The referee hasn’t finished counting and she blows the airhorn.

“Hey!” Daniel somewhat anticipated another trick. He jumps out of the way before the bigger man charges at our vampire, making the opponent open as a result. “Take this!”

“Nuh uh!” Malvin dodges the attack. “Can’t touch this. My turn to counter now!”

The muscled vampire grabs Dan before making a high vertical leap. A Falcon Arrow right off the bat.

“Ngh-! No!” Our vampire shifts into his bat form, slipping away and flies to the other side of the ring.

“Already retreating? Loser ahh choice.” 

Malvin easily catches up and grabs the withdrawing bat. Falling for the latter’s trap, Dan shifts back to human form, catching the former in surprise and hits the opponent’s face with his elbow. Taking the chance, the smaller man delivers a barrage of slap after slap and finishes with a palm strike.

“Argh! Now you’ve P’d my O’s!” 

The angry vampire reveals his fangs and lunges at the smaller man, but Dan ducks and slides away thanks to his size. Now having fewer chances to attack, he attempts to take flight again.

“Stop with your cheap tricks!” The enraged man springs himself to grab the small bat forcefully. “Die!!!”

He throws him out of the ring like a frisbee, and the poor bat lands on the cold ground surrounded by unfolded chairs. The damage is bad enough to force Dan to revert to human form again for a moment, leaving him open for an upcoming elbow drop. Acting quickly, he rolls and grabs an unfolded chair and throws it at the falling man above, barely damaging him. Though the raging man still hits the floor with his elbows.

“What is this!? Both the fighters are out of the ring! But that doesn’t mean they’re down!”

Back on his feet, Daniel runs around the ring with haste.

“Stop running, you Ohio boy!”

The slender man actually stops, a stupidly unpredictable intent, but not because he has to. Instead, he turns around to deliver a belly-level punch. The speedy man’s guts take the hit, causing him to flops his tongue out and his body stiffens. Dan’s right knuckle is hurt from the recoil, but it was worth it.

“YEAH!! GIVE THEM HELL!” The chair-bound lads cheer with all of their energy.

Charging up for the finishing blow, Dan channels all of his strength to all of his limbs in a blink. Just before he unleashes his ultimate, he stops.

“Hey!? What are you doing?”

“I- I can’t move my body-!” The frozen man’s fist redirects itself to his face, body, any upper part of his body unwillingly.

“You may be sly… But having a weak mind will make you vulnerable.” 

The villainous man uses his hypnosis power. He must’ve been able to control Dan when he was channeling his energy to anywhere but his mind. Locking his target in place, Malvin unleashes strike after deadly strike on the stunlocked man. He finishes with an uppercut, sending the wounded man upwards, then flies and slams his target down like a basketball, making a dust burst when he lands.

“Game over.” The vampire lord squats in front of the beaten-up man. The latter’s laying on the floor the exact same way as he did in the haunting image earlier, minus the ‘blood’. “In the end, it’s still a fight of an Alpha against a bony twink. Don’t think you can even move your head to see your friends one last time. You won’t remember them when you’re unalive anyway. Adieu.”

The brawny man charges up a power sphere from his hands, mouth muttering some sort of spell, or nonsense. Well, this is how it ends. Life taken by someone who doesn’t look serious, but capable of killing anyone if he wants to. Daniel doesn’t even get to say goodbye to his friend, or even Kevin. But would he even want a weak vampire as his friend anymore after this? No… He doesn't want to be pessimistic at this moment. But his vision’s blurring as the ball of power before him grows in size, and he starts to see someone behind the unstoppable lord. Death? His parents? Doesn’t matter anymore now. Whoever that is will just stand to watch Dan’s inevitable fate…

“Hey sir, do you know where the trash can is?”

Kevin holds an empty bag of chips and presents it to the big man.

“Bruh, can’t you see I’m busy-” Malvin’s body freezes when his nose picks up the smell of the bag. Garlic flavor. “EWWW!! WHAT THE F-”

Completely weakened and distracted, the lord jumps in place out of instinct.

“Y…O…U…”

A wrathful Daniel teleports behind the fully unguarded opponent. His face is monotone but his blood red eyes say more than a million words. He delivers a kick packed with hundred horsepower up the asshole’s butt, sending him upwards a dozen inches, enough for the feral vampire to shift into bat form and slashes him endlessly in the air. He finishes with a groundbreaking drill, aimed at the losing man’s chest. The vampire lord’s body shoots light beams like an average video game boss’s death animation when Daniel lands the final hit. Stars and light fill the room as everything slows down…

“Gwahhh!!” Malvin flings backward, rolling several rounds before hitting his wife’s legs softly.

Everything is back to normal. No more games, crazy tricks and deadly illusions. Everyone’s in the living room in their normal, perfect shape as if none of the brutal beatdown occurred.

“Get out of my house. Now.” Our vampire threatens with a calm voice.

“Hmph,” Diana pulls her big husband by the arms. “The sun’s already setting. What a day.”

“Owie.” The big man gets up. “Well, that’s it then. Good job, Danny guy. I’ve never had this much fun since the last century-”

“Get out. Now.” Dan retains his calm voice.

“...Ok then. GG, no re.” The lord turns back and leaves first. “Thanks for playing my games.”

“Well, it was fun while it lasted. Farewell~” The charming woman follows. “By the way. Kevin, right? It appears that you’re also a pyromaniac like me.” She winks cutely and leaves through the open window, catching up with her husband.

“So what just happened?” The mentioned man asks.

“I dunno.” Daithi crosses his arms. “All I know now is that everything’s back to normal. I’ll miss breathing again.”

“Wait, what?” The cyborg inspects himself. “Nooo! My handsome human body…”

“Hey, at least all our pains are gone.” Seán pats Brian’s back. “But now we have something else to do...”

The lads look behind to see the messy living room.

“I, uh, I think I still have my clothes hanging at home.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll clean up together later.” Dan picks up his bag that’s been lying on the floor since morning. “For now… I’ve got souvenirs for everyone!”

“YEAHH!! DAN’S BEING BASED LIKE ALWAYS!!

“Is there food? I’m hungry.”

“Go to the kitchen for that, Kev!”

“You shouldn’t have said that. Now I’m hungry too!”

“Slow down guys…! We’ll eat and open your gifts together.”

“Then explain to Kevin what happened too…”

—

“The wind is nice tonight, isn’t it, hon?” The feminine bat notices his husband isn’t paying attention. “Honey, Malvy~ Still thinking about the guy?”

“Yeah. I’ve never seen someone this interesting and special for so, so long.” The masculine bat sounds content. “Guess I didn’t have to teach him anything in the first place, he’s really more capable than he looks. Proud of ‘im.”

“Good for them, though I doubt we’ll be welcomed again.” Diana pouts. “Now that we’re done, let’s give an old friend of ours a visit. Hopefully I don’t have to return the Microblobs, they were useful, but not the best.”

“Nah, sweetie. You know what else is useful and is the best? Me-”

The unfocused man hits a tree, sliding down slowly like a cartoon character.

“Ah.” The flat man’s wife glides down to check on her husband. “Got ahead of yourself.”

“Ough…” Malvin shakes and pulls himself together. “Wait, there’s… THERE’S A SPLINTER ON MY WING!! HELP!!!”

“What? Where?” The tender woman snickers from the childish outburst. “Stay still for me to check! Stop flapping around!”

“ASUYIUEHAJSHFFSKFL OH GOD I’M GONNA DIE HELP ME SWEETIE!!!”

Laughter and screams fill a part of the vast forest that night.