Chapter Text
"Channie hyung this is the shop, wait a bit." A deep voice echoed from the passengers seat, giddy and full of hope. His hands were shaking with pure excitement.
"Alright baby, pull your mask, hoodie and glasses up. I'll wait around the corner." Chan said as he ruffled the smooth blonde hair. He gave the blonde a affectionate side hug before the blonde got down. Chan hoped, prayed, whatever Felix, his little aussie bro has planned to turn out positive.
Felix kept his head down, avoiding any eye-contact even through the thick shades he wore. He went to the counter, pretending to be a common person. His hands stuffed in his hoodie's pocket as he spoke with the waiter behind the cash counter. "I'm Felix, ordered a cake a week ago." He kept his voice an octave high, just in case.
"Yes sir, your order is ready. Le me get it for you." The waiter disappeared behind the kitchen. In the meantime, Felix looked around, not many people in the cafe which was good. It was also warm and cozy here. Maybe he will bring Minho here for their first-
"Here sir." The waiter came back. The package was bigger than he expected, but managed to take it from the hands of the waiter. He bowed once and turned to leave., only to be stopped by the waiter again, "Good luck for the cake sir." He said qith a small glint of knowing.
Felix turned back and gave another bow. He hopes so. He hopes he doesn't make a fool of himself.
Felix exited and saw Chan leaning to one side of the car. As soon as he saw Felix with a package that was slightly bigger than it should, he took it from him. Chan strapped it securely in the back seat and opened the door for Felix to sit in the passenger's seat.
"So what did you get?" Chan asked curiously as he started to drive back to the dorms. He chuckled when he noticed a faint blush on his face. "Are you shy?" Chan teased Felix, to which the younger whined, smacking Chan's arms.
"It's just pudding..." Felix mumbled, slumping down his seat, trying to make himself smaller under Chan's teasing. He played with the hem of his shirt. Chan chuckled again, bringing hands to ruffle Felix's hair again.
Felix pouted, swatting Chan's arms and trying to fix his hair. "You need to stop ruffling my hair like a kid hyung..." Felix mumbled and Chan snorted. "You could be seventy with no hair and yet I'll ruffle it baby." Chan said, Felix's pout grew more and crossed his hand. "You also need to stop at some flower shop hyung." Chan just nodded.
Once the flower shop was in the view, Chan stopped the car, got down with Felix and entered the shop. "A bouquet of Ranunculus and Garden rose please." Felix ordered confidently. The worker excused herself and went to work on them. Chan looked at him perplexed.
Felix smiled at him. "Ranunculus is a flower i thought will be the closest to describe Minho hyung, it means Radiant charm and admiration—his visuals and presence always leave an impression. And Garden roses are pretty, delicate, aesthetic and yet very vibrant." Chan snorted again. "You're so far gone Lixie." Felix chuckled.
Yeah. He is so far gone.
The worker returned shortly, wrapping the flowers in a pale pink foil with a white bow decorated. Chan paid, though Felix fought and lost like always.
Felix was satisfied and confident.
The rest of the ride was a comforting silence. Felix held the bouquet gently, creasing his fingers over the petals gently and a soft smile in his face as he admired them. Whatever the answer will be, the flowers will be given to Minho. That Felix would make sure of.
Chan resisted the urge to snort, Felix looked so down bad for his devil kitten. Honestly, this should've happened years ago but neither of them took a move. Being too young and scared. Pinning each other for a long time. Both of them deserved this.
Deserved each other.
.
.
.
Chan gave small kiss on Felix's forehead, a slight squeeze on his shoulder as they reached Minsung's dorm. Well, Chan and I.N's dorm is just a floor up from Minsung's so he carried the cake until the lift and until it stopped at Minho's dorm floor. Handing it over to Felix carefully and making sure he wouldn't drop it, Chan waved him a bye with a warm smile.
Felix took a deep breathe and started to walk towards their dorm. Each step making his heart beat a little bit faster, his nerves increasing and sweating a little. Felix thanked the heavens that the door was not closed, a bit ajar so Felix could push himself inside. Since it would be really clumsy of him if he dropped the cake, or the flowers, or both while trying to ring the bell.
Felix was about to announce his presence until "He loves you hyung, why are you so blind?" Han's yell echoed the dorm.
"What the heck Sungie. We've talked about this. He is my brother, my kitten. I see him like I see our kittens. Let it be." Minho's voice answered, just as desperate and loud.
Who are they talking about...
"What are you so scared of hyung? That's just Felix, our Felix. Did you know he sees you as if you hung the sun for him? Like, you built the world for him? You are his world hyung. Don't you see it or do you not want to see it?" Han yelled again. A bit anger and disbelief pouring out of his tone.
Ah... they are talking about me...
It did nothing to soothe him as the information processed in his brain. A groan echoed back. "If you keep saying that again and again Sungie, maybe I'll do the opposite, I'll hate him if you bring this up again."
Felix stunned. 'I'll hate him'. It echoed in his brain. The other things drowning in the back of his head.
A sudden numbness took over him. He clutched the bouquet and cake package tighter and turned to leave. No he wasn't sad. He was also prepared for a rejection if anything. He'll survive that.
But he won't survive if Minho hates him.
Felix didn't go the floor up to Chan, no. Instead he walked his way back to his own dorm. Numb and hollow. He didn't even register the ache in his hand from how long he was clutching the gifts for Minho. He didn't notice the air chilling out, didn't care as the sky darkened and it started to drizzle. And the it poured.
As if the nature was crying for Felix.
He didn't register it. Because all his mind kept playing was. 'I'll hate him.'
'I'll hate him.'
'I'll hate him.'
'I'll hate him.'
'I hate him.'
His body that was on autopilot mode made his way towards his dorm. His rain drenched self leaving trails behind him as he entered his unit. He wasn't even sure how he pressed the button for his floor in the elevator. The next thing in his memory, was Seungmin's shocked featured and hands making it's way to take the thing from Felix.
Felix gave a subtle turn, declining the offer of handing what was supposed to be Minho's to Seungmin. He entered the dorm, uncaring of the trails of water he left, not replying, not processing anything his best friend has been asking him.
Felix placed the bouquet on the counter top, gently and carefully, like it was something that would break. Turned and placed the cake package on the dining table, the box already wet from rain, Felix peeled it open easily.
A pudding cake.
The cafe was thoughtful enough to keep it inside the plastic container before placing it in the box.
Atleast I didn't ruin this.
Seungmin hovered behind, his mind screaming to call for Chan. He never saw Felix like this. Empty. Hollow. Numb. Not a twitch of emotion. He was devastated when he was eliminated. Betrayed when woojin left. Terrified when his herniated disc came to light. Never so... lost.
As soon as Felix opened the box, a transparent container came to view. A cake. Precisely pudding cake, with 'Can I be your boyfriend' was written in the most prettiest writting.
Seungmin gasped. Connecting the dots. Pudding, Lee Minho.
Felix went to propose to Minho, but something happened. Something so bad Felix didn't know what emotion to play it out.
And then Felix reached for a spoon, took a bite. His body shivering, lips quivered as he swallowed the first bite.
Seungmin breathe hitched and he gasped for the second time.
Felix hates pudding, though it is a sweet, something about it's texture always kept Felix away from it.
But now, Felix was here. No emotion on his face as he was eating something he despised. And yet there was no grimace in his face. No twitch. Just a bite after bite.
"Felix.." Seungmin started but didn't know what to say. It as heartbreaking to see Felix so empty. He wished Felix cried.
And as on cue, Felix shoulders trembled, his breathing hitched audibly. yet he didn't stop eating. Instead he took spoonfulls, stuffing his mouth with another bite before he even swallowed the before.
Tears rolled down his red rimmed eyes. His fingered tightened around the spoon has he hastily choked down the sweetness of the pudding.
Seungmin gasped when Felix gagged. Not throwing up. Not yet. Seungmin rushed to the front and noticed almost half of the cake was gone. It was huge one. And eating so much at such a short period of time. Shit! Seungmin should stop him.
"Stop Lix. Please look at me." Seungmin desperately caught Felix's hands, trying to pry the spoon away from those tiny hand that held it in a death grip. And he succeeded But that didn't stop Felix. He reached his hands, messily taking a big part and trying to stuff it in his mouth.
"LIX STOP!!!" Seungmin yelled, grabbing Felix and hugging him close, trying to ground him. Trying to bring him back from whatever haze he has fallen into. That did it.
Felix started to sob. Loud and hard. His ands a mess of pudding clutched Seungmin's white shirt in a visceral grip. He buriedd his head in the crook of Seungmin's neck and let the damn break. Let the tears and snot soak Seungmijn's burberry shirt.
The intensity of his tears was so fierce that made Seungmin's own heart ache in a way that made his eyes water. He gripped Felix harder, murmuring soothing words that he knew wouldn't reach Felix with how loud he was wailing.
'I hate him.' Echoed again as he sobbed harder.
"He hates me." Felix chocked out, Seungmin's grip around him tightened impossibly so. "No Felix no one hates you." Seungmin tried, he really did. But Felix was far gone. How ironic.
"He hates me. He hates me. He hates me. He hates me." Felix repeated. His breathe no longer his own. His chest rising and falling too fast, too shallow. Seungmin rocked him a bit, trying to ground him but nothing was working.
"Lixie. Lix. Felix please you need to breathe baby. You need breathe okay? No one hates you Lixie. In for four come on baby. Please" Seungmin tried again. But Felix wasn't claming down. Repeating the same words again and again.
"I love him. why? why does he hate me?" Felix asked and before Seungmin even had the chance to answer Felix, he went limp. The sudden dead weight scared Seungmin to hell as he shouted and yelled at Felix to wake up, shaking him hard, before his hands went to his neck, desperate to feel a pulse.
It was there, fast, but slowing down.
Good. Or as good as he could it be.
Seungmin glanced back at the dining table, taking in the mess, before lifting Felix off the floor. That's when he realized Felix was warm, warmer than usual. Then the wetness of the clothes. It doesn't take a genius to know. "You made yourself sick Lixie." Seungmin whispered.
Picking up Felix was hard, not because he was heavy, no. He probably is lighter than Seungmin is. But because Seungmin is not much of a athletic body. Somehow, he reached his room, since Felix's was closed and didn't know how to open with Felix in his arms without dropping him.
Seungmin made him lay on the bed, stripped of his clothes as gently as he could and wiped the rainwater off him. Yeah, he is definitely coming down with a fever, atleast a cold. Seungmin sighed. After changing his clothes, Seungmin tucked him under the duvet and placed a loving kiss on his forehead. "Sleep tight Lix. Whatever happened was not your fault."
Seungmin stupidly hoped the words would reach Felix.
Then he came to the living room, moped the floor making it free of trails of rainwater. Did the laundry for Felix's wet clothes and then came to the dining table. The half pudding cake stared back at him mockingly. The words 'Can I be' was left and the others were destroyed.
Seungmin sighed for the nth time, before throwing it in the trash. The the beautiful bouquet caught his eyes. Rose he recognized, the other flower he didn't. But it was simply gorgeous and weirdlt it reminded him of Minho.
Felix was down bad for Minho.
Even the bad way.
He opened his phone, tempted to call for Chan. But left a text.
Me
Lixie got wet in the rain.
[9.43 pm]
And came back home like a mess...
[9.44 pm]
Emotionally and physically...
[9.44 pm]
Think he is also getting down with something...
[9.46 pm]
The reply was instant.
Old leader-nim
What!??
[9.48 pm]
Shit he was supposed to be at Minho's...
[9.48 pm]
What the fuck???
[9.49 pm]
Me
Figured that
[9.51 pm]
Had a cake said 'Can i be your boyfriend'.
Don't know if he got rejected or some.
Come here tomorrow morning, he'll be less of a mess and we can speak.
[9.53 pm]
Old leader-nim
Ok.
Take care of him for me.
[9.53 pm]
Night puppy.
Thank you.
[9.54 pm]
Me
Good night hyung
[9.54 pm]
don't worry, he's my best friend too...
[9.55 pm]
Seungmin sighed. Something happened. That's for sure. Since Felix isn't the type to break just because of a no. He'll be sad but not like... this.
Whatever it is. He'll find it with Chan. Seungmin picked the flowers and placed it gently in the vase Hyunjin has gifted them. They are pretty, why go to waste.
Seungmin entered Felix, touched his forehead. Warmer than before. Slipped under the blankets and cuddled him close. "You are not alone Lix." He whispered. He felt Felix moving closer to him, so Seungmin pulled him closer. Felix's head tucked under his chin, on his chest. Gently creasing his chin and rubbing his back.
"Sleep tight Lix."