Chapter Text
He’d made himself a little nest, a comfortable place for his final rest as he put his favourite video of them into the player. 14 bottles of pills, some half finished, some newly opened and several bottles of alcohol.
As he watched himself and the other man set up a little picnic blanket, he swallowed the first three tablets with the first sip of, it was a very nice beer, he had been saving it for a special occasion, this was special enough.
You’d think it was rough times, that he’d been fighting with the team again. But it wasn’t, not really, he’d just, gotten tired, and he missed the man on the screen so very very much.
Another three pills and a sip of beer.
He’d left his letter of resignation, badge and weapon in his locker, but had left the door unlocked for them, so they’d find it before the days end, they were CSI’s, they were good at finding things, so he had no doubt. Not for a while though, since he’d gone in on his day off to drop some things in as well.
Three more pills and a little more beer.
It was hard to find trees that showed it was Autumn in Miami, but the other man had found some, beautiful leaves of red, orange and gold to sit beneath with sandwiches and a thermos of soup. Before laying down, Ryan’s head resting on his chest, warm, sleepy, comfortable.
Three more pills, the leaves on their faces, three more pills, the late afternoon sun through branches, three more pills… three more pills… three more pills.
One… Two… this bottle was empty, so he turned it upside down and grabbed a third pill from the next one and downed them with the last sip of beer from an also pretty much empty bottle.
The video playing in front of him was already starting to blur slightly. Three more… Three more… Three more. They had fallen asleep as the red, orange and gold leaves fluttered down around them… three more… three more… three more… and another bottle turns upside down.
Red and orange and gold… red and orange… red… red… red… they covered you in red… the leaves look like the blood you wore… three more… three more… three more.
The leaves you slept for an afternoon under, the blood you slept under forever… why the same color, why the same color… three… three… three.
Another bottle turns over.
The leaves always looked so beautiful, until you died. But I promise, I promise, I swear I tried. So if there is something after this and I’m what you see. I beg of you, please don’t be mad at me.
“Speed.”
>
>
>
>
“Ryan… Ryan… Wake up, Dispatch we need an EMT at (Frzt) Stat… overdose…. Lf-inflicted.”
“… H… is that… Spee…”
“I.. ink… So… Ryan, that it’s, wake up, even if it’s just a little.”
“Ove… ere… we’… he…”
“Ale…”
“It… K… Ratio… I’ll Ride… Ith Him.”
The doors slam shut, so metallic, so loud, not at all the sound he expected from the afterlife.
The heavenly choir is odd as well, a jarring wail, and a single voice, female, familiar.
“Hold on baby, hold on, you hold on baby, just hold on.” Over and over, repeating, like a chant, a prayer, a wish.
Hold on… to what… to who. But a voice like that wasn’t to be ignored.