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Chapter Text

He‘s gone.

Just like that he‘s gone forever.

Saparata couldn’t do anything else than staring in shock at the lava where his best friend had just lost his life. He had hoped that satisfaction and relief would fill his mind. Instead he seemed to drown in the waves of grief and hatred washing over him. 

„He‘s dead! We got him! It‘s over! We won!“, someone cheered and slapped him on the shoulder but Saps nearly registered it. His ears were filled with some kind of high-pitched buzzing sound and everything felt somehow unreal as he climbed back to the ground. 

He slowly made his way through the masses, parting for him. It was a bit funny and Saps nearly let out a sarcastic chuckle. A few weeks ago every person on these godforsaken islands had been out for his head and now they were even making way for him. 

Some people were seemingly out for celebration and even went to congratulate him but most of them hushed away as they saw his expression.

So as everyone was out late celebrating their win and life in general, Saparata made his way down to his old vacation house. It was not ideal but it was the first and only place he could think about and it was far enough, away from all the people. 

They were really the last thing he needed right now. These fake and hypocritical people, trying to bribe him - now that he was no longer the wanted criminal but rather the betrayed victim and war hero. 

It was nearly midnight as Saparata finally reached the place he once called home and he fell asleep without much thinking. 

-

Only as he woke up the next morning did reality hit him once again. 

Fluixon was dead - once and for all. 

There was no turning back. 

A mix of grief and betrayal washed over him and a lonely tear found its way down his cheek. Saps took a deep breath and shook his head. He would not be mourning the person who literally destroyed his life. 

„He already did enough damage, I will not give him another win“, he said to not really anyone and stood up. 

He wanted to inspect his once so-called home and decided to start with the normal living areas. Most of them were fine, ignoring the subtle layer of dust that occurred in practically every room. 

The kitchen was a rather sad sight with mostly empty shelves and the occasional rotten something. Saps wandered around putting anything still slightly useful in his bag which grew heavier with every room he entered. 

Then he reached the end of the living areas and he couldn’t really put it on hold anymore. So he took a deep breath and stepped into the hall. 

The hall where the history changing meeting had been. 

He was instantly met with the smell of blood and the sound of bones crashing. Panic arose in him, his breath quickened and his body began shaking. No, he couldn’t do this, not again, no just no - Saps stumbled backwards, grabbing his bag and turned around. 

Without another thought he fled the place. 

It was still too fresh, he couldn’t stay here. Actually he shouldn’t even have come back. 

What was he doing here? This place had brought him nothing but misery, why had he thought it’d be different this time? 

„For fucks sake I am so stupid! Flux was right - optimism just brings you disappointment“, he muttered and stopped suddenly in his steps as he realised something. 

He had called him Flux. 

After everything that happened he still cared about this bastard in some way. 

It was a hard truth to accept but still. 

Saps just couldn’t shake away this feeling, the spark in these purple eyes that had captured him since the very first tim. 

This spark that one could interpret as hatred but for him it had always been something else. He’d never gotten really behind it, had never had the possibility to unveil this mystery. 

But Saps had been fine with it, even more he had been drawn like a moth to a flame.

And the fire had never left these eyes. 

It had been there even as he stood on the edge of that volcano, surrounded by his enemies and with the clarity of his death settling above him. 

-

After an exhausting journey Saparata finally reached the jungle of Island 2. He built a small but cozy cottage and put his very few belongings on the many shelves. Only as night slowly settled was he able to catch another clear thought. 

He took a small walk to the nearby beach, fighting off the bloodhungry mosquitoes and enjoying the silence, only disturbed by the sounds of nature. As he reached the shores he let himself fall on the ground, digging his fingers into the warm sand. 

A small parrot approached him curiously and he produced a few leftover bread crumbles. „Here you go my friend, it's not much and pretty dry but - yeah - it's all I have at the moment“ 

The parrot jumped cautiously nearer and picked the crumbs satisfied. 

„He would’ve hated this, you know?“, Saps started, „he always was so cautious about his dumb coat. But he would also absolutely refuse to take it off. 

Seriously, who wears a coat to a beach?!“ 

This parrot had something that made Saps open up, it was like he couldn’t stop talking. 

„I guess he was just too full of himself. But it somehow suited him, you know? This coat and also this behaviour would’ve looked pathetic and arrogant on anyone else but he just had this special energy that it made feel…real. 

People just respected him - I always admired him for that. And now he is just - dead. I still…I still can't really grasp that. He‘s…gone“, Saps voice broke as well as the walls inside of him. These walls that he had carefully built over the last couple of months after he had been betrayed. 

Now everything, the stress, the grief and the betrayal came back crashing. The sobs were shaking his entire body and he buried his face in his arms. 

„Just why him?“, tears were now rolling down his cheeks, „It could’ve been literally anyone else. There are so many people on these fucking islands, so why him?! 

And why me? 

Why did I have to be the scapegoat?! Why didn’t he choose someone else? Did he plan this from the very beginning? 

I thought we had something, I thought we were friends!“ 

„Friends“, the parrot blurted and picked affectionately his still shaking leg. „Friends“ 

Saparata looked up, his eyes still swollen. „Friends?“ „Friends“, the parrot confirmed. „Well, meeting and bonding through a mental breakdown is definitely a good start for a friendship", Saps laughed, „at least in my experience.“ 

And the laugh vanished from his face as fast as it had appeared. „Damn it, everything, fucking everything leads back to that bastard. He really infiltrated every single aspect of my life“, he muttered bitterly. 

„But enough of him. Let's get us home, my new little friend.“ The parrot just crowed in approval and fluttered on his shoulder. 

They slowly made their way back to the cabin as Saps suddenly realized that his new friend would need a name - a cool one preferably. In the end they settled on Afour - like an old acquaintance who once had believed in Sap's innocence long before anyone else.

Chapter Text

The first moments after he had hit the lava felt surprisingly cold.

Then the pain set in. 

It was nearly unbearable but he couldn’t even scream. They would find him and eventually find out that he was everything but dead. So he forced himself to shut up and bit down on his tongue until the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. The golden apple had indeed saved him from just dying though eased the pain only slightly. 

But he couldn’t linger anymore. 

He was already in danger. 

So Fluixon tried to „swim“ somehow in this pool of literal hell. The lava was thick and he felt his arms and legs slowly giving in. 

After what felt like an eternity he finally got to some kind of edge, heaved himself on the stone and instantly collapsed. He pressed his face on the cold ground and hoped for some kind of relief. 

And there was - at least for a moment. 

The cold stone felt like the wet rags his mother had used to stop him from crying when he had hurt himself as a kid. But as he opened his eyes, reality hit him once again. 

There was no kind mother, only hard stone and hundreds of people out for his head. 

As Flux looked around, he realised he was in some sort of cave. Not a very deep one, just a natural small cave with an opening, letting in some light. Otherwise there was nothing but stone, a few slightly heightened platforms and a bit of moss in some corners. 

„Great, at least a bed-like something in this rotten godforsaken cave“, Fluixon winced at his voice. It was hoarse and cracky. 

He didn’t sound like the respected leader anymore. 

No, he had become a broken and wanted criminal - a threat. 

„I will get my revenge no matter what! They will pay and-“, his rant was interrupted by a wave of coughing that shook his whole body. Fuck, this was worse than he thought it would be. 

He slowly tried to stand up, but was bitterly disappointed by his leg just giving in. That led to him inspecting his wounds and listing them in his head in order of their severity. 

It was in fact much worse than he first thought. 

His legs were useless, probably broken, which he should’ve expected given he fell from a fucking vulcano. His left arm was also quite useless, as his prosthetic hadn't survived the temperatures and melted into his arm. At least the apple had protected him from any permanent burn damage - it was not much, but a start. 

Fluixon dragged himself behind one of the pedestals, so he would be even harder to see from the entrance. Even in this state his paranoia never left his mind. 

However the dim light and the pure exhaustion of the battle made him fall asleep pretty fast. 

But it was not for long. Again and again waves of pain rolled over him, so he was in a constant state of delirium. Not asleep and not awake, tormented by pain and nightmares, where he lived through every betrayal, every battle, every escape once again. 

Until there was Saps. 

Saps with his white flowing hair, that looked like a halo when the light hit it at the right angle. Saps who was the sun incarnated, whose pure existence lit up his surroundings and who had been kind to every stranger. 

Yes, he sometimes was a little clumsy and he was way too naive, but he was fun to be around. To be honest, it was one of the very few things that had made him happy during this time. 

The truth was that Flux hat cared far too much about this random guy who had stumbled clueless into the mines, all these months ago. 

This guy who had forged his way into his mind, occupied his every thought, distracted him, made him weak. 

Disgust and anger flowed through his veins, but it couldn't suppress the warmth completely that had built up at the very thought about Saps. No, Fluixon wouldn’t repeat the mistakes of his father, who had been led by his feelings rather than his rationality. 

He did what he had to do. 

Betraying Saparata had been necessary, for the sake of Island 2 and for the sake of his mind. He could not be distracted, he had to eliminate every possible threat for his plans. It had been a win-win-situation. 

It had been the right thing to do - right? 

Even if it had resulted in this…mess. 

Everything had been necessary. 

-

The reason Fluixon finally broke through this state of dream and reality was the hunger. But there wasn't really anything eatable in reach and with his legs still useless, there wasn't much that he could do to ease it. It just remained yet another pain in the back of his mind. 

So Flux slept. 

He slept a lot, trying to get back his old strength, but without food there was not much hope. Solely his strong will kept him alive these days as he went through hell. 

Alone, broken and only a cheap copy of his long lost greatness. 

Flux had gone through fire just to survive but at what cost? He had lost everything because of his plans. He had sacrificed everything for the peace on Island 2 and nobody had thanked him. 

Instead they had hunted him down, like a wolfe who had killed the sheep of the farmers. He had done it for good, had done it to save his people from an invasion that he still thought inevitable. 

But no, they had united to hunt him, their savior, down. 

He would get his revenge, that was for sure. They would not escape their destiny this time. Everyone who’d wronged him would pay. And in the end he alone would triumph over the two Islands. 

-

Therefore Fluixon slowly kept wasting away in that dim and isolated cave. 

Alone, abandoned,  and forgotten by society. 

Having nothing than his revenge plans to hold on, while his body got weaker every day and his mind let him down more and more.

And for the first time the thought crossed his mind, that maybe - only maybe - it was all for nothing.

Chapter Text

“Friends. Friends friends friends”, a croaking singsong woke Saps. He grabbed his sword and jumped out of bed.

They had found him, no doubt!

His eyes darted to the door as realisation dawned on him. He was in the jungle, he was fine.

Everything was over.

He wasn't the wanted criminal anymore, nobody was out for his head.

“Everything’s fine. It’s okay. I’m safe. Take a deep breath Saps, you’re okay. Nobody’s hurting you”, as he calmed down and was able to catch a clear thought again, he looked around to find the disturber of his sleep. Instantly he was met with the intense gaze of a parrot. After a little staring contest, the events of yesterday caught up with Saparata.

“Afour! Jeez, you scared the shit out of me”, he laughed.

“Friends?”, Afour cocked his head.

“I guess I am not the most mentally stable person right now”, Saps voice trembled slightly, but he immediately forced a small grin on his face. “But we’ll figure this out. I always figure it out. That’s what I do”, an accent of bitterness shone through his words.

He shook his head. “Enough of the moping, we have a lot to do, my friend, and the light is not endless”

After a small breakfast that consisted of the few edible leftovers he had taken from his old vacation house, he started working.

On top of the list were the final touches on his new home and most of the interior equipment, even though he hadn’t much it was still cozy and practical.

Next up was a small garden. The soil was dark and fertile and after digging up a suitable area the air was filled with the promising smell of growth. The seeds he‘d brought along were soon hidden under a thin layer of earth and with a final pat Saps stood up and stretched.

A small break and he went back to work. Until evening, where he visited the beach again, ate his dinner while watching the sunset, sometimes in silence, sometimes talking to Afour.

Some kind of peaceful routine was established and Saparata could nearly pretend, coming to terms with the past.

He could pretend he didn‘t saw Fluixons eyes in the purple flowers that were all over the place around his new home.

He could pretend he didn’t feel lonely sometimes.

He could pretend that didn’t wake up either sweating and in panic or crying and filled with grief about all the lives lost for nothing.

He could pretend he wasn't flinching and lunging for his weapons at every little unexpected sound.

He could pretend that he didn‘t miss the constant adrenaline of his time on the run and he could pretend that there wasn't this aching pain in his chest that drew him far away, back to the volcano.

He could pretend he was fine and a normal person, with a completely normal life and absolutely no trauma whatsoever.

But it wasn’t true and after what felt like an eternity he couldn’t deny it anymore.

Saps wasn't happy how he imagined.

He couldn’t just go back to his life before everything.

The time with Flux had shaped him as well as all these traumatic experiences of the previous weeks and months.

He wasn't the same and time wouldn’t magically put all these broken pieces back together.

They say time heals, but the truth is nobody heals you except yourself.

That's the worst - you have to heal what you didn't even destroy.

You have to fix the mistakes of others, because it’s your life and you are the one responsible for it - even if you don’t even want it.

Saps didn't know why he kept going. He questioned it many times and never really found an answer to it.

It probably was Flux. It had always been him.

It had been him since the very first time.

It had been him when they had talked about everything and anything, back in mining times.

It had been him, when he had been on the run, not trusting anyone.

It had been him on that tower surrounded by tundra and the edge right before him. It had been him on the volcano and it was him now. It didn‘t make sense.

Fluixon was dead and Saps owed him nothing. And still, whenever the thought crossed his mind of these purple eyes staring right into his soul, a warmth overflowed him and he felt like a little boy again.

He felt safe and protected as if nothing could ever harm him.

That was until the hatred and betrayal crept back into his mind, turning the gentle stare into something unspoken. Filled with disgust, fire and danger. Until the eyes were no longer Flux‘s but something completely different, something more monster-like and definitely not human.

It scared Saps and he felt his mind cracking every single time a bit more.

But that made it only worse. He felt like he was failing without a reason, without any explanation.

Because outwardly everything was fine.

He was safe.

He had a great house, a little friend, and a comfortable living situation. No one bothered him, just like he had wanted and he still wasn’t happy.

It felt like he was ungrateful.

Life had given him the sweetest lemonade and he had thrown salt in it - more or less willingly.

His life was fine so why couldn’t he be?

Why couldn’t he just be happy?

Why couldn’t he just be thankful?

Why did he still want to die?

He had no reason to, people liked him. For fucks sake he was a hero!

And still, as soon as his mind had the chance of thinking because it wasn‘t occupied by work, the spiral dragged him down. Deeper and deeper, every time becoming more dangerous.

Saps couldn’t keep going like this.

Something had to change - immediately. He had to do something and maybe, just maybe, then he would finally be able to start healing.

Maybe he had to go back, where everything had ended.

Maybe then he could finally close this chapter.

So he prepared everything. Packed his bag again, this time with a lot more food and proper clothing.

The volcano was calling him and maybe following this call would result in the peace Saparata was so intensely wishing for.

It was his last hope - the last string he was clinging onto.

Chapter Text

Saps was ready.

Tomorrow he would begin his journey, but first he had something to do. Something that was long overdue.

He was a strong believer that nobody was ever truly bad and every person deserved some dignity. Even if this person was responsible for the death of thousands.

Everyone deserved to be remembered.

That was how he ended up hefting stone over stone from the jungle to the small cozy place behind his house. It was filled with the purple flowers, even more than the rest of the surrounding area.

Saps began stacking the stones until it was something gravestone-like.

A few dripstones decorated it - a pain to get but they had always been special to his friend.

„I‘m sorry, Flux“, he whispered standing in front of his finished work.

„I should‘ve stopped you. I should've seen the signs of this nearing psychosis. I should‘ve done something.

Anything.

I don‘t even know what.

Realistically it doesn’t make sense, it was not my fault, I know that. But there’s still this feeling of responsibility.

I was your friend. And you just betrayed me.

I want to hate you for this and I did for a while. It was so much easier wishing for your death than mourning the betrayal by the only person who really understood me.

And now?

Now I feel so alone again, I don't feel like my life has any purpose anymore.

I‘m back again at the tower in the tundra, the only difference - back then I had a purpose, a mission I had to fulfill - you.

To kill you and I wasn't even able to achieve this.

Now you’re gone, not even by my hand, just pushed from the edge in battle. A death without glory, your biggest fear.

You deserved it, you really did“, Saps laughed bitterly.

„I just wish your death would‘ve been the end of you ruining my life. Delusional, I know.“

With that he turned abruptly around, grabbed his bag and started walking towards the shore. The boat would be the easiest way of travel.

It was a bit of struggle to get it going but after a while Saparata had pushed it far enough, so that the first bigger waves could touch it.

He threw his bag under the rowing bench and climbed over the railing. With a grunt he let himself slump onto the bench and started to lose his rolled up pants. He didn’t get far before a certain parrot took a seat on the tip of the boat.

„Afour! What are you doing here?“, Saps face lit up. „I thought you would rather stay at home. Volcanoes are not exactly your preferred home“

„Friends“, Afour cawed.

„I didn't exactly prepare for this scenario, but I guess if you really want to accompany me, there‘s nothing I could do to prevent that“, he laughed. „You’ll have to put up with my food though, no special treatment. Not even for my favourite parrot“ Afour just cawed and ruffled his feathers.

„Alright then this is a done deal“, Saparata couldn’t really stop smiling whenever he interacted with this little guy. He was one of the few positive things that lit up his day. Every little moment with him brought him back to the here and now, a very needed break of the endless thought spiral. However Saps was just thankful beyond belief for Afour, his friend.

The rest of the journey was rather boring. In the evening they settled on small shores, roasted their food over a little camp fire and Saps tried to not think too much about how pathetic it was that his only friend was literally a parrot until they went to bed.

Cuddled together, the hermit and his parrot.

During the days Saps rowed, monologised about everything and anything while Afour sat enthroned on the tip of the boat, sometimes preening, sometimes observing his surroundings and sometimes flying for a little while.

A peaceful time for both with the most important difference to life at home - a destination.

A reachable goal in their near future who spiked something Saps had believed long lost - hope.

He could feel his heart getting lighter with every mile they got closer. Of course the volcano was not a holiday resort, but for the first time in weeks, Saparata could actually hope for everything getting better, to finally be able to move on.

Not even the heat of the boiling water around Island one could dim his mood.

After their arrival Saps jumped onto the shores and dragged the boat into a safe distance from the waves. There wasn't really anything around him, so he wouldn't be able to cover it up or hide at all, but there also weren't really any people around.

The fear of theft was therefore not exactly justified.

Hence this Saps dragged the boat just to the next bigger group of stones and turned it over, so the wind and rain wouldn’t affect it.

Then he began the climbing of the volcano.

The basalt surrounding him in every cardinal direction started to seclude more and more heat the further he got. Saps started to sweat and soon the water was running down his spine. His hair was dripping and he had to pause more frequently.

The heat soon even affected Afour who had stopped his little flying trips and resorted to an occasional “friend” from Saps’s shoulder.

“My god, I don't remember this being so hot. The rush of adrenaline is truly something that needs to be studied more”, Saparata panted. “This feels like literal hell and I’m used to the desert climate. How do people live here? How did Flux endured this more than 3 fucking seconds? He’s originally from Snow Island”, he said laughing to Afour.

It was the first time he could think back to the past without this heavy feeling in his chest threatening to drown him.

This journey really helped him more than he had dared to hope.

Maybe he really could close this chapter and just move on.

Maybe life wasn't that bad - he even had a new friend. And Afour was much more tolerable than any human could ever be.

Afour was simply the best.

Chapter Text

The lava bubbled peacefully down in the volcano. Saps slowly leaned over the edge and stared into the crater. 

Dark clouds had filled the sky and in this dim light the lava seemed magical. He could understand why Infernus had perceived it as something holy. 

The silence was eerie, nearly scary. 

Here and there one could see a lost helmet or chestplate. Their owner had probably died in the big battle or fled in panic, leaving everything behind. 

The hopelessness and death hung so thick in the air that you could almost grasp it. 

Saparata wandered over the forsaken battle field, taking in the atmosphere and replaying the events of that one fateful night. It had been quick and still so many people had died. 

They’d died for nothing, absolutely nothing and it was exactly this pointlessness of the slaughter that weighed so hard in his shoulders. 

He had wanted to live a quiet life, away from politics and their intrigues. But it had not been granted to him. 

Saps knew in reality it wasn't his fault, he had been dragged in this mess by Fluixon. 

He was the only one to blame. 

He and his paranoia, his hate and fear of the poor and foreigners. 

He and his hubris, thinking he was the only one capable of making rational choices when in truth he was deeply traumatised and everything but rational. 

Fluixon had wanted to save his people but in the end his stubbornness was responsible for the death of thousands. 

However despite all of this Saps had forgave him. 

He only came to this realization now, coming back to this place. His problem hadn't been the lack of forgiveness but him being able to admit that he already did. 

Flux died, he had paid the price for his doings. 

It wouldn't erase the past and it wouldn't do justice - that was what really bothered him. 

That Flux would never be able to truly understand the wrongs he caused, that he would never be able to repent or regret. 

Saparata had never believed in a god or an afterlife, but it still burdened him, knowing Flux died without the chance to make up for his evil deeds. Comprehending this wouldn't magically solve this problem but it was something he could work with. It opened a barrier he hadn't been aware of deep inside of him. 

Saps sunk onto one of the many stones and put his head in his hands. 

Tears flowed down his cheeks, almost instantly vaporising, leaving only a salty stain in his dust-covered face. The pain in his chest grew into a black hole, consuming every rational thought, only the black growing mix of grief and loneliness staying behind. 

This sadness wasn't just some depressive episode, no, it physically hurt. 

His breath quickened, the dry and sooty air making his throat sore. 

It had to stop, it was too much, too much, just- 

He fell to his knees, hands grabbing his chest and a deep intimate scream loosened. It echoed around him, turning into something monstrous, something inhuman. It left a deep and awkward silence as if nature itself understood his pain. 

It was this kind of silence that's indescribable. The silence after the death message of a close relative. 

As if the world stops spinning at this moment. 

Saparatas sobs were the only thing breaking the silence, sharp like a knife, stabbing repeatedly into the already life- and hopeless body that was once this bright person. 

Saps, who had been the sunshine for his surroundings, bringing happiness and relief into every difficult situation. 

Saps who had been loved and respected now laid broken on this lonely battlefield. It was unlikely that anyone would've recognized him like this. 

Saps never felt so lonely and so tired. 

Somehow he ended up on the sharp-edged stone that cut into his cheeks, but he didn't bother. 

He just wished for someone to come by, taking him in and just caring about him. 

He wanted to be a little kid again with an almighty mother, who would scare away every possible danger. 

He wanted to be able to just not care about anything other than today's game and who would join him. 

It had been taken from him too soon, he never had a chance to grow up. He had been forced into adulthood way too soon, he had to overtake responsibility he wasn't ready for.

He had lost his mother way too soon, lost the only person who truly cared for him as his father’d never been there. He had been alone at his worst, gathering food from the dumpsters, sleeping on the streets. 

But he never gave up, continued his education and had worked his way back to the top. 

He had led a whole nation at only seventeen and people trusted him. 

But the lost childhood would no one ever be able to make up for him. 

It was lost forever. No one would come to get him - not today, not tomorrow and not in three months. 

He was alone, so alone. 

Saps didn't want to be alone anymore. He had been alone for so long, had been strong for so long. He just wanted to collapse in someone's arms. 

He just was so fucking tired.

-

Afour approached his sleeping friends shyly. He had been like this for a while now, after screaming and crying, making himself audible for everyone in a distance of five miles. Dark clouds filled the sky and the sun slowly retreated into a nicer place, like every day. 

The first rain drops fell, sprinkling the dusty field with dark spots here and there. A few also dropped on Saparata's face, but he didn't wake up. No, instead he kept sleeping peacefully and while he definitely deserved and needed it, Afour picked his arm. 

The last few weeks he hadn't been able to sleep through one whole night but right now wasn't the right moment to catch up. 

Afour kept picking, now a bit stronger, trying desperately to wake up his friend. 

“Friend! Friend, friend, friend!”, he croaked stressy. 

“Mh?”, Saps finally answered sleepily. His lids flattered and slowly his consciousness came back into his body. 

He started from his sleep, looking around him hectically. It only took him seconds to get a grasp on their situation and he jumped up. 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit”, Saparatas voice was still hoarse. “I am so sorry I brought us in this situation” 

The rain got heavier every second. 

Saps' thoughts were running.

”Fuck, fuck, fuck! Okay, Afour, listen to me. We’re not gonna make it down the mountain before it gets too slippery. We’re gonna find a cave or something and wait until it's safe again, alright? I don’t wanna risk anything. Okay? Then let's go!”