Chapter Text
September 15th Bamberg, Germany 1940
Matthias sat on his bed, reading one of his poetry books. Out on the streets he could hear children laughing and singing songs, his eyes moved over to the family photograph on his desk. His mother wearing her blue dress, her curly brown her resting on her shoulders, in the middle stood Matthias in a nice suit while holding one of his younger sisters and his mother holding his other sister but next to him stood his father with a small smile. It´s been eight years since his father left them. He fled to Switzerland and promised he would come back to get them but he never did. Part of Matthias still believed he would one day come through the door with his kind smile, saying a train was waiting for them to take them to safety. Now he was the man of the house, helping his mom take care of the house and his younger sister Irma who was 14 and helping where she could for the war and his 6 year old sister Ida was still in school. Sighing he closed the book and placed it on the nightstand before walking downstairs, the radio was silently playing classical music in the corner of the kitchen while his mother was peeling potatoes by the sink. “Oh there you are Matthias, could you be a dear and help me?” She asked, looking over her shoulder with a kind smile. “Of course,” Matthias nodded and started helping her with the food. “Your sisters should be back in an hour or so, so we have time left to get this done” she glanced over at him, Matthias just nodded as he finished cleaning his hands to prepare for cutting up the meat for the meal. For a moment they enjoyed each other's company while the music played in the background, the scent of the food slowly filling the air but soon the mood grew more serious as his mother stopped laughing, "What's wrong ma?” Matthias looked over at her. She lifted up her hand to stop the tears from running down her cheek, “I got another letter today, I ... .they want you to join” she said, sadness stuck in her throat. Matthias gets up from his seat and walks over to her, wrapping his arms around her to pull his mother in for a hug. “I tried to explain our situation, but the Wehrmacht only gave us until January next year” she sobs. For the longest she had tried to keep him home, saying she had to keep him home to take care of the household but both of them knew it was only to buy more time together. "It's okay ma, you have done so much for me” he whispered, holding her closer. Maybe things would have been different if his father was still home, or it would just mean that she would lose two people, her husband and her only son. She then pulls away from the hug, giving him a small smile and gently stroking his cheek “I love you so much Matthias” she smiled warmly before returning to continue with the cooking.
His sisters arrived just on time for dinner and they all sat down by the table, they all silently prayed over the food before they ate. The sisters talked about what they had done in school, sharing stories from their friends. “Mathilda told me she's still getting letters from her brother Alex, but it´s harder getting mail from them,” Irma said, taking a bite of her food. Mother Helga nodded, “I´m sure it´s hard for her and the rest of her family, it´s not easy to wait that long for someone you care about” she sighed understandingly. “You…you still haven't heard anything from your father?” Ida then asked and a silence fell over the room for a moment. Helga then shook her head “No, not yet” She finally said, “It would be stupid for him to send anything anyways, it would just put us all in danger” Matthias added. "He's probably doing fine wherever he is” their mother chimed in with a small smile. They finished their food and the sisters went to do their homework while Matthias stayed to help put the leftovers into the fridge and to take care of the dishes.
When the chores where done he helped his sisters with their homework, talking and having fun. But in the back of his mind the clock had already started ticking, he only had four months left, four months left until they would knock on their door and tell him he's enlisted. Part of him wanted to tell his sisters about it now but part of him wanted to spare them and wait for as long as he could, but how innocent were they? They already knew about the situation they were in and how much their mother had fought to keep him home for as long as possible. 'Just for tonight, just give them tonight' he mentally told himself as he watched his sisters playing with each other. Their mother sat on the couch, knitting while watching them with a warm smile, wishing their father was here to see them, see how much they had grown. She still remembers that day as if it was yesterday, how he stood in the hallway with his suitcase telling them he would write to them as soon as he got there. Kissing her goodbye and hugging their children before walking out the door, the days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months that turned into years. He knew he couldn´t stay, fearing what this country would become. He knew she agreed with him but kept telling her people would talk if everyone left together. She shook her head as if she would shake out the memory, silently she cursed as she tried to focus on her knitting. She couldn´t send her son away to a war she didn´t believe in, a country she didn´t believe in, knowing her son didn´t believe in it either. `Oh why, oh why couldn't you just bring us with you Johann?` she wondered. Something she probably would never find out the anwser too, but something she wouldn't stop wondering about.