Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

‘I say it really is rather a pity about poor old Mr Mellors, to be overcome by such loss in such a short space of time.’

‘Yes, my dear, it is a shame but the entire country is going through much of the same at the moment, I'm surprised we haven’t been feeling the strains yet.’

‘Oh heavens darling, don’t even suggest such a thing I couldn’t bear it. Although Mr Mellors did experience a greater loss than most, what with that awful business concerning his daughter. James, you know the other Mellors girl quite well, don’t you?’

James was snapped out of his idle daydreaming by the sound of his mother’s booming voice calling his name.

‘Hmm, Oh yes,’ replied James in an indifferent manner.

His mother, ever one to gossip, was certainly going to submit him to a seemingly never-ending questioning on the subject now that he had assented.

‘Yes, I thought I recalled you two having something of a penchant for one another. Now, Mrs Wallace told me that the poor girl was frightfully on edge about the whole affair and that-‘

Luckily for James, the front door bell rang at that moment signalling the arrival of the first guests for the dinner that was to be held that evening celebrating his father, Lord Marriott’s latest success in talks with several foreign leaders.

‘Ah, that will be our guests, I wonder who shall be first, perhaps the Admiral and his wife; he is a rather punctual man,’ Lord Marriott uttered in response to the chime.

At that moment the large oak doors to the parlor were opened by an attractive thin young man to usher in a rotund man in naval uniform and a slender woman wearing a meager dress of dark blue.

‘Admiral Winston Groves and Mrs Winston Groves,’ announced the young man to the room, then abruptly turned and made his departure.

James’s father at once went forth and began to greet the couple as James turned to his mother quizzically.

‘Who was that footman, mother, I don’t appear to recognize him?’

‘Oh, he’s one of the new boys, Lennon or something or other, Old Evans needed some help with such a large gathering, so your father authorised some additional staff.’ His mother replied offhandedly before starting across to Mrs Groves and trying to conceal the grimace on her face.

With both his parents busy in conversation, James decided to slip silently into the entrance hall hoping to get another glance at this mysterious new boy and praying that once more guests arrived his absence would remain unnoticed until dinner. Upon entering the hall, James found himself completely alone.

Odd, thought James to himself, Normally someone would be manning the door lest we keep our guests waiting.

Cautious of the fact, Evans, the butler, might arrive at any minute, James made his escape to the library down the hall deciding he would rather spend the next 20 minutes or so before dinner listening to a gramophone record rather than the pompous voices of his father’s insipid friends.

Placing the needle down on the Schubert record, James considered picking up one of the many books either on the shelves or scattered round the room but settled on sitting back in the large leather armchair, closing his eyes and taking in the sweet lilting melodies. It appeared as if time were to slow down as he sat taking it all in. He was rapt from this steady familiar environment to another ethereal plane. He could almost see the notes swirling up and above him, encircling him in their vibrant hues of lilac and blue taking him higher and higher…

A small creak then a soft voice came into the intoxicating mix, ‘Forgive me, Sir, I thought the gentleman might like to know that dinner will be served in 5 minutes.’

James sat up with peaked interest, this was the new young footman he had been seeking, only this time he was much closer and James had the opportunity to really notice him. His gleaming eyes and pronounced jawline were in contrast with his subdued and almost delicate nature which would have made for a first class butler, but James did not wish for him to simply fade into the background.

‘Yes, thank you, Lennon, is it?’

‘Lenney, Sir’

James noted the interesting accent not quite in fitting with the usual Buckinghamshire scenery, granted they had a Welsh maid and the cook was from Yorkshire but this young man was clearly not from those places.

‘My apologies, Lenney, please call me James.’

‘As you wish, Master James,’ replied Will Lenney cautiously.

James smirked at the young footman's reluctance to drop the formalities.

‘Have all of father’s other guests arrived yet?’

‘Yes, Si- Master James, they are all gathered in the parlor waiting to be called for dinner, if you would care to join them,’ replied Will promptly.

‘No, I think I shall remain here until the gong sounds, if you would care to join me?’ James asked, gazing at Lenney with a roguish glint in his eye.

‘Oh, I’m afraid there must be so much for me to prepare before dinner, I would hate for Lord Marriott to wish he had hired another footman for tonight.’

‘Nevermind my father, nobody will notice if you are gone for a few mere minutes.’

And with that Will sat across from James in his full butler dress, hoping that nobody should enter now and catch him conversing with His Lordship’s son, especially not that dreadful Evans.

So, where do you hail from, young Lenney?’ asked James trying to get the footman to ease into the normal flow of conversation.

‘The North East of England, Newcastle to be precise.’

‘Ah, I see, now I can place the accent. Do you believe it would be improper if I were to refer to you by your first name?’

‘If that is what Sir would prefer. My name is William.’

‘Well, Will, I think you’ll be glad to hear you’ve landed yourself a job in one of the most boring homes in England, unless you find my mother’s incessant gossiping and my father’s constant boasting and ranting entertaining, which in some ways I suppose it is, then you’ll have a relatively easy time here for the most part.’

‘Oh my, Master James, I wouldn’t wish to speak ill of His Lordship and Her Ladyship, in fact I rather think it’s the butler Evans who will get the better of me. He just seems to detest me and for what reason I simply can not tell!’

‘Haha yes, he's a tough old boot is Evans, I can say he’s never liked me. No, probably just makes up his mind and sticks to it, stubborn I suppose. You stick with me Will and you’ll last around here though, I’ll make sure of it. I can feel we are going to be the best of friends.’

James grinned across at Will, a sweet warm inviting smile that seemed to set Will at ease and show him that James truly wished to be speaking with him.

‘Why, thank you James, I truly appreciate that’

As they sat smiling at one another, Will staring into James’s hazel eyes, the light reflecting off of the small gold flecks within them. The gong in the dining room sounded signalling that dinner was served and for everyone to make their way along for the meal to begin.

Chapter Text

With everyone seated around the dining room table, the conversation appeared to be flowing. James was sat in between a Miss Parker, who was attending with her widowed mother, and an incredibly elderly gentleman named Mr Fitzwilliam who, James believed, was formerly a banker.

As the first course was beginning to be served, James hoped he would catch another glimpse at Will but he didn’t appear to be waiting on the table. If only he were the one serving James and he could be close to him once more instead of another elderly butler they must have hired.

‘I do say, boy, you look remarkably like your father,’ wittered on the decrepit man beside him. ‘You know i’ve known your father for over 50 years since he was even younger than you are now.’

‘And I bet you were still nearly decaying,’ muttered James in reply.

‘What was that boy, you’ll have to speak up. I'm afraid my ears aren’t what they used to be.’

‘I said “how remarkable, sir.”’

Having decided that was quite enough of Mr Fitzwilliam, James turned his attention to the young timid girl on his left and decided she must be a better confidant, anyone would be better than that old coot.

‘So Miss Parker, I hear you and your mother recently returned from a short stay in Torquay?’

‘Oh yes, the doctor recommended it, he said it would be good for mothers' health and it certainly seemed to improve her overall demeanour, yes.

‘I’m very glad to hear that.’

‘Yes, we even ran into I believe a friend of yours down there, Miss Isabel Mellors. I hope you won’t think me terribly impertinent for saying so but she seemed to have taken a keen shine to you, Mr Marriott.’

‘Well we are only acquaintances really. I would say a handful of similar parties attended, nothing to write home about.’

‘Oh but Isabel was simply full of praise for you. She told us a most wonderful story about how you saved her from a near disastrous fall into a duck pond, it was simply heroic. She seemed to be utterly enamored by you. My mother said she wouldn’t be surprised to hear of an engagement soon enough!’

‘Really now Miss Parker! I simply must deny that there is anything between myself and Miss Mellors. She is a fine young lady but I have simply no interest in her.’

‘Oh n-no, Mr Marriott, I didn’t mean to be so presumptuous, I was simply repeating what mother said and you know how older ladies can sometimes be so caught up in gossip and one’s af-affairs. You must think me t-terribly ill mannered, my apologies,’ Miss Parker hastily responded, the words tumbling out her mouth at such speed.

James stared back at her harshly for a moment then softened. It was not her fault, she just couldn’t comprehend his feelings, none of them could.

‘No, please forgive me, I am well acquainted with the gossiping of one’s mother. Believe me!’ said James with an honest jestful tone in his voice.

By now everyone had completed the first course and the staff came in to clear away the plates. That’s when James spotted a rather flustered Will rushing into the room slightly behind the others, his flushed red face standing out amongst the other butlers. Will cast a quick glance across to James then diverted his attention to clearing away Lady Marriott's plate at the other end of the table and hurried out of the room.

As the dinner continued on, his dining companions tried to engage James in conversation but his mind remained elsewhere. He was preoccupied with the last image of Will Lenney. What had caused him to be so flustered and miss the first course? James hoped he was not to blame for taking up Will’s time earlier.

As dessert was cleared away and some of the women retired to the drawing room, all James could think was he had to find Will to find out what was wrong and possibly apologize. He hadn’t meant any harm, he was simply intrigued by him and wanted for them to get to know one another. It was foolish James knew but he couldn’t help himself, it wasn’t often he experienced this immediate draw towards someone. Alas he felt if Will knew the truth behind his feelings he would probably be disgusted and seek employment in a more respectable home.

Yet James stood and, muttering some minor excuses to the gentlemen still sitting around the table, left the room wondering where he would find Will at this moment. It was possible he was still in the kitchen but James thought it more likely he had finished with that particular task and must be somewhere else in the house.

He started towards the drawing room but abruptly stopped with his hand on the knob.

Surely Evans could handle the after dinner drinks on his own, thought James to himself.

So, he turned and went up the flights of stairs to the servants quarters. He didn't imagine it would be hard to find Will’s room, there were only a few that had been empty before the new hires. James came to the first previously unoccupied room, knocking softly on the door and then upon not receiving an answer, opening it gently. There didn’t appear to be anyone inside but, judging from the small dressing table in the corner, this room seemed to belong to one of the maids. Silently closing the door, he made his way further down and came across the next room. Upon knocking this time however a familiar voice responded.

‘Come in,’ called the voice from behind the door.

James pushed open the door and was met with Will laying casually across the bed. As he realized it was James entering, Will sat upright hastily, clearly not having expected anyone of importance.

‘Pardon me for intruding, I was simply checking in after I interrupted your work earlier this evening with my rambling. I hope it didn't cause any inconvenience towards you.’ said James, offering a minor nod of the head by way of apology and hoping it might elicit Will to open up about any possible embarrassment.

‘No, please, I found our small conversation very enjoyable, certainly the most worthwhile exchange I've had here so far. Please have a seat, James.’

Will gestured to a small wooden chair by the writing desk across from the bed. James sat down, the small chair creaking under his large frame, crossed his legs and was about to respond when Will burst back in conversation.

‘It’s that damn Evans, he wasn’t pleased that he couldn’t find me before dinner so he gave me a right bollocking in the kitchen when I arrived slightly late for serving the meal. Of course I don’t blame you Master James for my own tardiness but I don’t see what business it is of his where I am when I've completed my tasks for the evening and am simply waiting for the next to begin!’

‘Hear! Hear!,’ James replied with hearty enthusiasm. ‘Well at least he wasn’t aware who you were spending that break with. If he knew it was me I’m sure the “bollocking”, as you put it, would have been only that much harsher.

‘I simply can’t imagine the look on his face if he had seen the pair of us in the library together.’ said Will with a chuckle, lounging back on the bed, propping himself up on one elbow to maintain eye contact with James as they continued their conversation. ‘Won’t your parents be missing you?’

‘God no! Unless my mother tries to arrange another relationship between me and one of those hideous daughters of her ghastly friends, the woman just can’t seem to take the hint that I’m not interested in any of them.’

James glanced down at his hands, toying with the signet ring on his finger, suddenly nervous he had revealed too much of himself. Those few seconds of silence before Will responded seemed to fill the air around James, suffocating him, just waiting for someone to come along and slice right through it.

‘Yes, I can understand how you feel to some extent. My mother doesn’t meddle as much in my affairs but she certainly wishes I would take an interest in a suitable young lady. She probably thinks it will be like one of those stories you hear so often, the young footman and the maid running off together, I don’t think that’s quite the plan I have.’ Will stated, gazing up at James from his position on the bed, holding the stare intensely.

‘I’m glad to hear I'll be retaining your company for a while longer,’ replied James, the hint of a smile gracing his face as he returned Will’s gaze, both of them completely captivated by the gentleman sitting opposite.

The bell in the corner of the room chimed. The young men’s eyes were immediately torn from one another, Will’s went to the bell and James’s to the floor, his cheeks reddening at the sudden intrusion on their personal moment. Will arose from the bed and halfway to the door, turned to James and said:

‘I’m sure this won’t take very long if you’ll excuse me, Master James.’

James responded, ‘No, of course you must attend to your duties, I’ll be quite happy to await your return here.’

And with a slight bow, Will turned and made his departure.

Chapter Text

James was now alone on the creaking chair, left to take in the environment his new friend had made for himself in the cramped room that had been his home for such a short while.

With a quick glance around the room, James could see a few of Will’s belongings scattered across the small shabby oak bedside table, a leather valise spread open at the end of the bed resting on a large trunk and a dressing mirror from which hung many moth-eaten overcoats. Turning his attention to the writing desk behind him, he was met with a rare few letters – one of which appeared to be from Will's mother – a small pen-tray, a blotter, and a small engraved metal flask.

Picking it up and inspecting it, the inscription read ‘Will, ‘‘You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.’’ Yours, G.C.’
James shrugged and unscrewed the cap, took a small whiff and was immediately overwhelmed by the pungent scent of whisky. The earthy aroma sending James’s memory reeling back to many long nights spent, with an old fashioned in hand, trying to make sense of his life, his feelings, and why he couldn’t just be an ordinary son to his parents.

Resealing the flask and setting it back on the desk, James turned and rose from the chair, deciding a slight look around before Will returned, wouldn’t be hurting anyone. He went to the foot of the bed and glanced at the contents of the valise, from out of which clothes were spilling out. There were some ties and socks strewn across the floor at his feet, stepping over these James made his way to the small table by the bed, what lay here was far more interesting to James.

A battered copy of Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck was the first thing to catch James’s eye. Leaving through pages, he could recognise the signs of a thoroughly well-loved book. James wondered if Will had read Steinbeck's latest novel, before realising he had purchased his copy on a trip to the States earlier this year and it was still awaiting publication here. He made a mental note to lend him his copy.

Also on the table was a white handkerchief, a packet of cigarettes, a round metal ashtray, a miniature comb and a pair of brown driving gloves. There also hung a black trilby from the metal bedpost. On a mere whimsy James plucked the hat from the brassy knob at the end of the bed and placed it atop his head. He spun on his heel to glance in the mirror at his reflection, he couldn’t help but let out a short guffaw at the sight that greeted him. James had always felt he never quite suited hats, he felt that Will would look decidedly more handsome than him in such attire.

Just then the door opened and Will returned from his short chore.

‘My apologies, Master James. Oh–’ uttered Will as he entered through the door. Stopped in his tracks by the sight of James stood in the middle of the room, wearing his hat. They both remained staring at each other a moment before Will shut the door behind and James could feel the warmth mounting in his cheeks. He was suddenly aware of the compactness of the room, the other man’s face seemed to be directly next, he wondered if Will could also feel the heat emanating from him as he began to stutter over his words hoping to provide some explanation for his untoward behavior.

‘D-D-Do forgive me, it- it was not my intention for you to see that. I was simply passing the time to your return. I do apologise for such unbecoming acts.’

To his great surprise, Will burst into great roars of laughter.

‘Good God, man, you look quite ridiculous. Oh no please, don’t misunderstand me, I don’t mean to cause any offence but perhaps a slightly different style would be more suitable for you.’

Will plucked the hat from James’s head and reached past him to replace it on the bedpost, James felt Will’s arm lightly graze his left shoulder before he straightened back up. James was aware they now seemed to be standing closer to one another than ever before.

‘So, having a little snoop around, were we?’ said Will teasingly, smirking at James.

‘Well I thought I'd put my time awaiting your return to good use,’ James responded, finally relaxing at Will’s easy-going attitude towards the situation. Perhaps their relationship was progressing towards something resembling a friendship, this thought made James rather pleased and, in a sudden surge of adoration towards his new acquaintance, he swung a large arm over Will’s shoulders and then let out a hearty chuckle that was reciprocated by the smaller man.

Now making such a bold move and being so close to Will, James felt a severe pang of doubt about the situation, was he perhaps being too informal or affectionate, Will would probably think him an absolute nancy, and want nothing further to do with him. This was typical of James ruining a good thing before it had even started, realising this he removed his arm and flung himself down on Will’s bed. Laying flat with his legs extended past the edge of the bed, trying to act as naturally as possible, he decided to mimic Will’s earlier positioning and sat up, resting his weight on one arm. Now able to stare at Will and wait for him to cease standing in the middle of the room and take up a seat of his own in his small servants quarters.

To James’s surprise, Will strode across to the bedside table, stepping around James’s long cumbersome legs, and took up the packet of cigarettes and the ashtray in each of his hands. Then turning and walking the short distance to the opposite end of the bed, Will situated himself by a small window that was just above the bed. Now being sat fully facing one another, Will with his legs crossed and dangling from the side, James meticulously studied the actions of the man across from him, entranced in every minor movement. First he turned and took the window off the latch, leaving it open just slightly, the summer night not letting in much of a draft. He then shook a cigarette out of the box and placed it delicately between his thin lips before plucking a bashed up box of matches from the pocket of his uniform. Setting the ashtray in his lap, he took out one of the matches and deftly struck it against the side of the box, a bright flame erupting in an instant then, puckering his lips, he lifted it to the tip of the cigarette and took a deep inhale as it ignited the thin white stick. Shaking out the match and tossing it into the ashtray, Will then picked it back up from his lap and blew a thin stream of smoke out of the open window.

Turning sharply to face James again, Will suddenly stuck out the open packet of cigarettes in James’s direction and raised his eyebrows slightly in an offering gesture. James was suddenly snapped out of the spell he had been entranced in by Will's simple performance and shook his head almost imperceptibly. Will shrugged his shoulders in reply and returned his gaze to the window as he took another drag of his cigarette.

‘You don’t smoke?’ asked Will, his eyes still staring out the window at the rare warm English evening.

‘No,’ James answered. ‘I never had much of a taste for it.’

‘Mm, every man has his foibles, they say,’ said Will, this time turning back to face James directly, his gaze lingering for just a second.

‘Oh do they? And what would you consider yours to be?
I suppose you are too punctual or too polite, something along those lines?’ James said teasingly.

Will continued to stare out of the window, letting the cigarette dangle absentmindedly from his nimble fingers into the ashtray, ‘Dear God no, I can acknowledge my many faults, trust me if we knew each other even a tad better you too might realise the deep cracks running right through my being, deeper than most men can ever begin to imagine.’ There was a moment of silence between the pair before Will continued, ‘Well, let’s not get into that now though. It would’ve been a nice evening for a stroll round the grounds but instead we’ve spent it trapped in this stuffy room.’

‘Yes, It would’ve been,’ responded James in an absent-minded manner, clearly preoccupied with Will’s other statement. He would’ve thought a walk in the garden was a lovely idea but he was far more invested in the revealing remark that had struck something deep within James. The ever so familiar feeling that had just been summed up by the man sat parallel to him but a profound fear grasped him as it always did that he was misreading the situation and that to reveal such dark secrets about himself would only lead to hurt and shame, more shame than he could ever imagine. To share these specific emotions he had been carrying with him for so long with another seemed impossible yet here a small glimmer of hope was surfacing. Perhaps here was a man who felt the same way James had for so long, a fated companion in such isolating times.

Feeling a slight stinging behind his eyes, James promptly arose from the bed and stammered out a few words.

‘I-It’s getting rather late, Will, I’m afraid I shall have to retire to my own room now. Thank you for an evening of pleasant company. Goodnight.’

‘Goodnight to you too, Sir.’ Will quickly uttered as James was opening the door and departing down the hall.

James rushed quickly down the narrow flight of stairs, his anxiety filled feelings subsiding with every step he took away from the room he had just left and the man within it. Finally making his way to his bedroom door, he hurriedly made his way inside, ever thankful to have one of the few bedrooms with a lock on the door, he turned the key and hoped his mother and father would not wish to say their goodnights. Desperately needing to get out of these suffocating evening clothes, he quickly put on his pyjamas and lay supine on his large empty bed. James was feeling such a flurry of emotions after his evening with this new young man, everything about him was enchanting. The evening's memories were etched onto his brain. The brush of their arms against one another, those long nimble fingers lighting his cigarette and his striking profile as the last fading light of the evening sun came through the window onto his handsome face and it was with these images swirling in his thoughts that James pleasured himself, thinking only of the man that in just a few short hours he had come to adore and then promptly fell asleep.