Chapter Text
Statement of Gregory House, M.D.
I'm not one to believe in the supernatural, but something happened recently that even I can't bullshit my way out of believing. I work as a doctor, you may have heard of me? Anyway, recently a patient was brought to me because everyone else had given up and was going to euthanize her, but I still had hope that my own reckless ego could save the day again. I read the patient's file, and at the top it said "unnaturally cold to the touch." As if I would believe something so stupid.
*Click*
At this I feel I must interject to speak about how much I find this statement detestable. This Dr. House seems a horrible person and I wouldn't wish him on anyone.
Statement Resumes
*Clears throat*
I went to go see the patient, Alice Jenkins was her name.
Cameron, Foreman, and Chase were being useless, as usual. Bored, I listened to them describe the symptoms - unnaturally cold, grey complexion, slowed heartrate, breathing, and everything else, dangerously low blood pressure.
"Shut up, all of you. She's clearly hypothermic."
"But House," Cameron tried to say, "she's medically dead but still able to-"
"Nope! I'm going to go bother Wilson. Page me if something interesting happens. Or don't."
*ahem* I feel I must interject again as I take quite an issue with this... Dr. House's bedside manner. Anyways.
At least he isn't the worst man to ever exist. I believe that title goes to one Martin Blackwood. Statement continues.
"I knew I was right. I just needed to break into her house first to prove it." Thankfully, her house was a gas station bathrooom, which I found very easy to break into."
It may be unprofessional, but I have to say I appreciate that this.. Dr House seems to share my devotion to "field research," as it were. I really should start overseeing that myself instead of sending my assistants to do it.
"I found the evidence I needed and dramatically called everyone into a meeting. "She's hypothermic," I said, and everyone said I was wrong. So I brought out the hypothermia potion I found in the gas station bathroom. I have her the anti-hypothermia treatment and she stopped being hypothermic. I went to make out with Wilson immediately afterwards."
Statement ends. It... actually isn't very hard to verify the truth of this statement. Dr. Gregory House has a *very* detailed history with the legal system, so to speak. I'm not sure exactly *how* this statement ended up in our archives, but frankly I'm quite happy to take a break from reading about Prentiss.
End recording.