Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 The Na’vi say that everyone is born twice; it’s a metaphor for young Na’vi going through their iknimaya and earning their place in the clan, but sometimes you wish it were more than that. You pray to Eywa, a god, a mother you’ve never known, and doubt will ever feel, that when you die, you will get reborn. Maybe you’re manifesting an early demise, but you cannot bring yourself to care. 

You will die; everyone does. Your death has just always been by your side, its weight enveloping you in a suffocating embrace, plaguing your life with its entire being. 

So, you pray to be reborn, into a body with legs that will carry you across the planet you were born on, yet never get to see, with a heart that will beat steadily as you run, with lungs that will breathe in the deadly air that you crave to feel blowing on your skin.

The air in the lab was stale, as always. Pandora’s air mechanically converted into oxygen that humans could breathe. Sitting in your chair, hunched over, knees to your chest, you read through another one of the research logs in the database, taking in each line of information like it was directly from God's lips. 

Even when the decompression chamber goes off and a flurry of chaos fills the lab, your attention stays stagnant. Murmurs, conversation, footsteps. You’re used to it. 

Several times a week, Lo’ak and Kiri visit the lab with Spider. It's their routine to come visit you and the scientists, as well as Grace’s avatar in the Amnio tank. Even so, such commotion hardly ever draws you away from your fascination with the abundant information and research on the computer. 

Large hands land on your shoulders, Lo’ak leaning over you to see what you had pulled up on the computer. Briefly, you glance at him. He narrows his eyes, skimming through the paragraphs. 

“Whatcha reading ‘bout this time?” He asks, amusement in his voice as you tilt your head back to rest against his forearm. 

“Razor palm.” He tilts his head in confusion, raising a brow at your answer. “Pxiut.” You clarify. The corner of his mouth jerks up, a look of satisfaction in his eyes as he nods. 

He pulls his hands away, instead placing them on the desk as he moves to crouch beside you, glancing between you and the computer screen. “Practically fluent.” He states. Playfully, you stick your tongue out at him, drawing a laugh from his lips.

You watch him for another second before turning your attention back to the screen, your cheek resting on your knee as you dive back into the information. 

The world of Pandora always fascinated you; the plants and animals that resided on the planet captured your eye from a young age. You grew up staring out the windows of the biolab into the world beyond, craving to know more about it. 

The scientists did what they could to raise the kids left on Pandora, but children's books weren't exactly readily available, so you grew up on lab and research reports. Granted, it’s what you asked for. Once you learned to read, your birthday gifts were always wider access to the research files in the database. 

You read Grace's book more times than you could count, the pages loaded with sticky notes, annotations, and markups. At nearly 18, your knowledge rivaled that of the scientists who’d spent decades surveying and studying the planet you currently lived on. 

Despite this, you’d never stepped foot outside the lab; you barely stepped foot outside your room. When you were younger, you’d pester Spider about what he saw, making him describe each plant and animal in detail. He’d oblige you, staying up late telling you stories of his adventures, and he even started drawing plants he found. It was the closest you got to the world beyond, your obsession with anything and everything. Pandora growing with each moment; you could feel the presence of what lay beyond the walls.

Lo’ak watches you stare at the screen, absorbed in what you’re reading. It was like watching a switch flip, from present to not. As if you were in your own little world, in your chair in front of your computer.

He tapped the desk to get your attention. “So, the little hideaway finally came out of her room, huh?” He teases, leaning in with a smirk.

Your eyes flutter to him for a moment before going back to the screen. “Don’t get used to it.” you murmur. 

“I haven’t seen you in a few weeks, what's new?”

“Not much, just helping Norm with his samples and tests. Nothing you’d be interested in, though.” Your words are methodical; it’s as if your voice wasn’t speaking in time with your body. At least, that’s how it seemed to Lo’ak. You were too focused on the computer. He rolled his eyes.

“Seems like that’s all you do now.”

You nod.

He huffs. “Oh c’mon, Y/n. How interesting can that computer be? You’re reading about Pxiut when you could go outside and see it for yourself!” He stands up, crossing his arms as he awkwardly tilts to try and catch your eye. 

 You give him a look before turning back to your computer.

You’ve heard him complain about your lack of interest in seeing Pandora many times before; it confused him how your brother couldn’t stay in the forest long enough, while you were rarely seen outside of your room.

Truthfully, all you wanted was to get out of the lab and see Pandora up close. All you wanted was to see the forest, touch the grass and soil like your brother does, climb through trees, and hear the sounds of nature. It was something you desperately wanted but never let yourself indulge in. There was a reason you stayed indoors. 

But all you tell Lo’ak is that you’d rather research it. He scrunches his nose and walks off with a huff. For a moment, you’re back to reading, but you’re abruptly disturbed when he grabs the back of your chair and pulls it out, using the wheels on the bottom to his advantage. 

He spins you around to face Spider and Kiri sitting atop Grace’s amnio tank. “Are you guys hearing how ridiculous she sounds? I mean, Kiri, you can’t possibly be ok with her being a… what does dad call it?” He leans over you, his braids clicking together as they fall to hang upside down. “A hermit.”

You roll your eyes at his exasperated tone, shooing him away and scrunching your nose as he swats at your hand just the same. 

“Oh Lo’ak, leave her alone.” Kiri hops down from the tanks, pushing at his shoulder to give you some space. 

Lo’ak let out a noise. “I thought you were on my side about this.”

“I am, but you’re not making her wanna go outside, you’re just bothering her.” She states, pulling your chair forward, out of his grasp. Kiri was always a firm believer that you needed to see Pandora, but she took a much more careful approach than Lo’ak, telling you about its beauty and encouraging you much like a mother coaxing her child into taking their first steps.

You glance between the two from your place between their standoff, Kiri raising her brows, and Lo’ak crossing his arms. Uncomfortable, you tilt your head and make eye contact with Spider. With a silent plea, he hops down and gets between the two Na’vi towering over you.

“Just let Y/n do her thing, guys, she’s always been like this.” He shoos the two away, taking hold of your chair and pushing you back to your place at the desk. “She’ll come outside when she’s ready.”

You give Spider a smile, ignoring Lo’ak’s snarky “if she’s ever ready.” and turning back to the computer. 

“Yeah, guys, listen to Spider, this is our house anyway.” You shoot Lo’ak a condescending look from over your shoulder. “What a way to treat your hosts.”

He sticks his tongue out at you. You mirror his gesture. 

Kiri glides over, leaning against the desk and offering you a sweet smile. “But no, seriously, how have you been?”

Her voice has an edge to it. For the past two weeks, you’ve been a ghost. Whisked away to your room by Max and Norm, you spent the whole time sick and writhing in bed. It wasn’t your first time being sick, but Norm, as worrisome as always, essentially quarantined the back of the lab. Today was the first day you were able to climb out of your bed without getting so dizzy you’d faint.

You find yourself clenching your fists, your fingernails digging into your palms. Your friends weren’t unaware of your condition, but it was something everyone kept fairly under wraps, at your request. 

You didn’t like to feel fragile, and you felt awkward having others act so careful or thoughtful around you. It was hard enough having all the other scientists do so; you wanted it to be different with your friends. 

“I’ve been fine, just moody, I guess.”

“When are you not?” Lo’ak calls from across the lab.

You roll your eyes. “Oh my god, Lo’ak, you’re so lucky you're like, 2 feet taller than me or I’d beat your ass.”

Kiri covers her mouth to stifle a laugh. 

“Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try.”

“She can’t, dumbass, that’s the point.” You hear Spider say to him from their spot somewhere else. You cackle, Kiri releasing her own laugh as Spider and Lo’ak start to bicker. 

The lab, once quiet, save for the hums and drones from the machinery, fills with chaos. A chaos you’ve grown comfortable with and fond of. It can be stifling being one of the youngest in the lab, surrounded by adults absorbed in their own obsession with Pandora.

Despite your difficulty, you’ve grown exceptionally close to the Na’vi kids who visit the lab. 

“Oh, whatever; all I’m hearing are excuses.” Lo’ak declares, now back in sight with Spider.

You gasp dramatically, placing a hand on your heart. “Wanting to beat up a disadvantaged girl? You really are an asshole, Lo’ak.”

Another round of laughs spills from Kiri, followed by a punch to the bicep by Spider in your stead. The Na’vi boy grumbles and swats away Spider, moving forward to be all up in your space, leaning over so you are eye level. 

“You’re just being a coward.” 

You scrunch your nose, “You’re gross, Lo’ak, get away!” pushing him by his shoulders. Cackling, he grabs your wrist, jerking you forward so you are mere inches apart. 

Playfully, you recoiled, letting out a dramatic sound of disgust. He looked at you lamely, rolling his eyes as he straightened up, your arms now stretching as he kept his grip on your wrists. 

“Har har, yeah you’re sooo funny-” He rolled out, ignoring Kiri’s giggles and Spider inching closer in subtle concern. “Now get up! You’re being lame-”

His words went muffled as he hoisted you up from the chair. It felt like static took over your brain. Everything was muffled, cold, and uncomfortable. 

Slowly, sounds started to make their way back into your senses. They were saying your name, you registered. 

“-mon, c’mon, wake up!” “She’s breathing, so… she's fine, right?” “She just nee- move, Lo’ak! She just needs a moment.”

Your eyes opened, and you were greeted with the harsh fluorescent lights. You groaned, blinking away the blur and streaks in your vision. 

“There she is. Y/n, you good?” Spider's voice echoed through your head. You glance around, Spider, Kiri, and Lo’ak all looking down at you in varying mixes of worry. 

You were on the floor, atleast somewhat, you registered from the cold you felt on your legs. Taking a moment, you took in your situation. You were lying down, upper body on Kiri’s lap, Spider’s fingers wrapped around your wrists pulse point and splayed across your forehead.

You passed out. That’s what you gathered. 

Makes sense, Lo’ak suddenly pulling you up likely triggered the response, which was understandable considering your barely healthy state and the fact that you’d been sitting down nearly all day. 

“Yeah… i’m good.” you mumbled out. “Just dehydrated” a weak excuse, but you couldn’t think of much better in your state.

“Good, see this is why you don’t do shit like this, Lo’ak!” Spider scolded, smacking the back of the Na’vi boys’ head. 

“How was I supposed to know?”

Kiri opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, you heard the decompression chamber going off and a harsh yell. 

Oh great.

Norm stomped over, calling out your name as he knelt to your side. “What are you doing out of bed? You know you’re unstable right now.” He slipped his arms under your legs and torso, lifting you up into his hold.

Internally, you cringed at his words, and more so at Kiri and Lo’ak’s verbal confusion at the word unstable. 

“She said she was just dehydrated.” Lo’ak stated, looking between Norm and Max, who apparently had followed close behind him. 

Before they could say anything, you stuck your hand out, swatting at him. “Yeah, I’m fine! They’re just being dramatic.” You stated as you squirmed to get out of Norm’s arms, who just huffed and shook his head. 

“You’re not fine and you know it.” 

“I can take care of myself.” you state, embarrassed at the commotion your foster fathers were making. Norm grunts and starts walking out of the room, ignoring the questions your friends keep asking as they trail after you. 

You groan, pushing at Norm's chest defiantly with quiet demands to be let down, to which he responds with reprimands about your health. Before you know it, you’re being laid down on your bed, and Max is making quick work of the medication and equipment kept by it. You sit up as Max wraps a blood pressure monitor around your arm, huffing as Norm places a hand on your forehead. He points Spider to the pack of water bottles they keep by your nightstand; he grabs one and hands it to Norm, who quickly opens it and presses it to your lips.

“Okokok that's enough!” You announce, leaning away from the bottle. “God- don’t treat me like I'm helpless.” you state, glaring at the scientist. It was uncomfortable how well they had the procedure down, working like a well oiled machine. Two rogue scientists and a feral teenager working like a group of trained medical professionals when it came to you. It was embarrassing. 

For a moment, it was silent, save for the sounds of the BP monitor expanding on your arm and beeping with its read. Norm tilted his head.

“Don’t be difficult, Y/n.”

You purse your lips. “I’m not, I just-” you glance at the two siblings standing in your doorway, peeking through, unsure of the situation. You look away, dread and embarrassment flooding through you. Your voice is quiet, barely a whisper, only loud enough for Norm to hear. “I don’t like being treated like I’m gonna break.”

Norm’s expression softens, his eyes following your brief gaze, landing on the two watching you from the doorway in worry. He was worried about you, but he knew well enough about your reservations about your friends being exposed to your most vulnerable moments. 

With a sigh, he pulls back and makes his way to the Na’vi kids. Carefully, he explains that you’d been sick, and they weren’t sure what it was, so it was hard to take care of. Norm, despite his stubbornness and urgency when it came to you, was able to put on a relaxed demeanor easily. He got good at waving off conversations about your health when it wasn't necessary. 

Max, who was at your side, checking your vitals and jotting them all down, was better at keeping a level head. Granted, he was usually the one who had the strict rules; Norm was just the one who enforced them, but he took a more careful approach. 

Norm and Max, like the other scientists, had no idea what they were doing when it came to raising kids. Hell, you doubt if they ever even wanted any. But, for all intents and purposes, they were your fathers. 

Spider crawls over you as you bring your knees up and bury your face in your arms, sitting himself by your side and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You lean into him, refusing to look as your friends watch you worried, before backing away and leaving. 

You take deep breaths, pinching your eyes shut. After a moment, Max takes the monitor off your arm, and his hand takes its place. “Get some rest, Birdie, it’s the fastest way to recover.” he squeezes your arm before standing up, placing a quick kiss on the top of your head.

Norm watches you for a second and sighs, ruffling your hair and walking out with Max, closing the door behind him. You don’t lift your head even after they leave, so Spider rests his head on your shoulder. An odd little family you have.

After a moment, you turn your head just enough to peek your eyes out to see Spider. He notices and makes eye contact, a soft expression passing over his face. “What did you see?” you mumble, barely audible. He chuckles, leaning back against your headboard. 

“Well, Lo’ak decided to ride a Pa’li, it was the first time I saw their resting place and there were so many pitcher plants, Pa’liwll Kiri says,” he explains. Quietly, you repeat the name, running through the catalogs in your head for a visual. “Oh, and we saw an ‘angtsik from above…” he continues, describing what seemed to be a once-in-a-lifetime adventure for you when for him, it was every other day.

You listen as he rambles on, trying to imagine it all as if you’d been there, slowly piecing together visuals and frames in your head. He makes jabs at Lo’ak, his ability to ride the Pa’li and shoot an arrow. The kind of poking fun you see between close friends. 

Finally, you lift your head when he tells you about Tuk cussing in front of Neytiri, courtesy of Lo’ak and his loud mouth. You cackle at the story, imagining the spunky little girl copying her brother's potty mouth. 

Spider takes the chance to pinch your cheek, earning a slap on the hand before he grabs your shoulders and pulls you to be laying next to him. 

“Oh, and Neteyam was pissed at Lo’ak when he saw a cut on Tuk’s cheek.” Your ears perk up at the name, curious about the boy you rarely hear about. Neteyam. You’d never met him. He never came to the lab. But you’d hear a slew of stories and offhand comments about him.

He’s older than you, but younger than Spider. He’s Jake’s oldest child, the next Olo’Eyktan. The perfect soldier and golden child who outshined Lo’ak. He’s everything the first son of Toruk Makto should be, born with his life laid out before him.

You saw Lo’ak’s envy of him, his words shifting from admiration to resentment when he spoke of him through the years. He once desired to be like his brother, but there was a shift along the way. 

You were once desperate to meet the brother your friends often spoke of, but as years passed and his presence stayed a ghost, you resigned yourself to only knowing him through word of mouth. When you were young, Lo’ak and Spider would talk about how cool he was, how he was fun and great with a bow. 

Now, all you hear is how busy he is, how he just does his father's bidding and has abandoned spending time with his siblings for training. You take their word for it, how could you not? You’ve never met the boy, and you can see the toll their strained relationship with their brother has taken on Kiri and Lo’ak.

Still, sometimes he wanders through your mind. 

“What does he look like?” The words slip out before you can have a second thought. Your voice is barely above a whisper, you hope that your foster brother didn’t hear you, but it’s crushed when you hear him hum. 

“He looks like Lo’ak, but more like his mom. Ummm, y’know yellow eyes and his hair is braided back, so it doesn’t hang down in his face like Lo’ak and Kiri.” He looks up to the ceiling, trying to recall the boy’s appearance as best he could, considering it’s not something he actively takes note of. “he’s pretty tall, but then again, all Na’vi are compared to us,” he chuckles, nudging your side.

“Oh, and Lo’ak looks a little more human than him, his nose is flatter, and he has three fingers,” he states, leaning against you. “Uuum yeah, he’s really stoic though, he doesn’t talk much, and when he does, he’s so… serious.”

It makes sense, you think, being the Olo’eyktans’ first son and having a brother like Lo’ak, it wouldn’t be easy to be laid back. You tilt your head at the weak description your brother provides; he was never a great storyteller, even with years of experience, recounting every detail of his day by your bedside at night.

His words are interrupted by a yawn that escapes from his mouth. He continues on with his sentence, but you pat his shoulder. His words trail off.  “It’s late, Spider, you should get to bed.” you whisper, a reassuring smile gracing your lips.

He searches your eyes for a moment, you haven’t had much time together lately, and you know he always feels guilty about leaving you alone in the lab for too long. After a moment, he nods, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead before leaping up and out of the room.

~

It’s been hours since the lab went quiet; the Sully kids having gone home, and your foster family asleep. Still, you can’t find it in yourself to close your eyes and fall asleep, ignoring the way your eyes twitch, weighed down by your lack of sleep. You stare outside your window, tired eyes gazing up at the night sky, moonlight shining on your face.

For all your life, you stared out this window, the shining stars burning into your skin. 

You’ve memorized the stars, the patterns, and the order, years of searing each star into your mind. It was the one time you could look out onto Pandora and not feel the ache of loneliness in your chest. After all, the stars were your company.

You’ve always been amazed by stars. When you were young, you read about the constellations, the ones visible from Earth, and you were enraptured. You threw yourself into it, reading everything you could about them, from the scientific and chemical nature of them to all the stories that were held in them. 

You memorised the constellations, and every night, you crawled into your window and searched the night sky for them. It became your fixation, endlessly searching in hopes of finding one. You found ones that were close, but not quite right. It upset you. You knew them, you knew the story of Orion and Delphius like the back of your hand, you had drawn and memorized Hercules and Perseus a thousand times, so why couldn’t you find them? 

It all came to a head one night when you tried to leave the lab, convinced that the glass of your window and the limited view were the source of your inability to draw the lines in the stars above you. Max caught you as you were trying to reach for the handle to the decompression chamber, oxygen mask thrown on flimsily and still in your PJs.

You whined and cried about how the stars were wrong. Max didn’t know what to do; you’d tried to leave before, but never had you been so reckless and so close, and you were a mess. Eventually, he was able to make the connection that you wanted to see the constellations, and he had to explain that they weren’t visible from Pandora. 

You took it better than he expected. You were upset, yes, but it ignited a different childlike curiosity in you. You wanted to know what the skies of Pandora did hold. 

You started to make your own constellations, spending hours mapping out the stars, disfigured shapes, and lines. Each one was a story, a life you created, a life you wanted. Norm and Max knew of your hobby and even wanted to hear the stories you came up with, but you refused.

It was too personal. 

It was something for you and just you.

You rest your head against the cold glass, eyes straining to the sky, avoiding the jungle that lay beyond the clearing, rolling over the sky. The sky. It was everything you knew. 

Once you fell asleep, you slept through nearly the entire day, curled up in your bed and grumpily complying with Max’s check-ups and lecture. Norm came in, checking on your condition with his own eyes, relieved when you seemed to be doing a lot better. You ignored his comments about staying up so late and how it wasn’t good for you. You wanted to argue that being kept inside all the time wasn’t good for you either, but you kept quiet, as you always do. 

You didn’t leave your room, and you weren’t interested in talking to anyone who came in. The day passed, and you watched as the sun set on the land, and the stars came out. 

Again, you gaze up into the sky, searching the stars for the constellations you’d created. 

You hear the footsteps, the way he hesitates to intrude before opening the door.

“Y/n,” His voice is quiet as he steps in. You don’t look at him, eyes boring into dots littering the sky. 

Carefully, he walks over, sitting on the edge of your bed, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I was going to wait till morning to tell you, but since you’re still up...” You move your eyes, looking at your foster father without making an effort to move your body, as if you’d crumble and break at any movement.

He holds your gaze, unsure of where you are.

“I’d like to show you something.” He states, coaxing you out of your trance. For a moment, you’re still, staring at him blankly. He moves softly. He’s always careful with you when you’re like this; Lost somewhere he doesn’t quite know. 

Max steps into your doorway, making himself known when you stay unmoving. It takes a few moments, but you glance down at your hands. Slowly, you lean away from the window, fiddling with your fingers as you lean into Norm. He takes your hands and helps you up. 

“It’s a surprise.” Max quips in a singsong voice, Norm placing his hands over your eyes. Internally, you roll them, but you go along with it, letting yourself be guided through the lab. 

You try to make sense of where you’re going, but you get lost at just a few turns in. You want to scold the two men, accuse them of purposely going slow when they come to a sudden stop.

You keep your eyes closed for a second, even after Norm takes his hands away from your face. “It’s a little early,” Max breaks the silence, slowly, you pry your eyes open. A gasp escapes your lips. “But we thought you’d like to put it to use sooner rather than later.”

Your eyes land on the Amnio tank in front of you, the blue liquid glowing as you take it in. Take in the body floating in it. An avatar, jerking and fidgeting. The face on the avatar was you. Your body, your face, molded into that of a Na’vi. You try to speak, but your tongue falls short, mind racing and tripping over words.

“Happy early birthday!” They chime in unison, amusement in their voice from your reaction. 

You’re choked up. “How” is all you’re able to get out, words caught in your throat and lagging in your brain.

A soft chuckle leaves the two men's lips. “Well, it took a long time, our tech isn’t as good as it was before the RDA left.” Norm explains, patting you on the back.”But, y’know, we made it happen.”

“Wasn’t hard to keep a secret; no one comes in this part of the lab, especially not you.” Max places a hand on the tank, gesturing to the room you’re in. 

There's so much you wanna say, so many questions. Slowly, you creep towards the tank, eyebrows furrowing as you take in the figure. It was surreal to see yourself like… that.

It’s you, but it’s not. It’s a mindless avatar. You’ll take over it. It will become you. You lean in, nose almost touching the glass as you stare at it. Norm and Max watch, amused as you take in all the features and traits. 

You breathe out, fogging the glass. “Why?” you look up to them, your hand resting on the cool tank.

On the other side, Max shrugs. “You’ve been obsessed with Pandora your whole life, and you couldn’t exactly,” he scrunches his nose, looking for the right words for the sensitive subject. “See it.”

“We thought this would be good for you,” Norm adds, walking around the tank and placing a hand on your shoulder. “Happy birthday, kid.”

You remain quiet, your eyes back on the avatar floating in the tank. Max and Norm exchange looks.

“We’ll get it ready tonight, and tomorrow you can take it for a test drive, huh?” Norms' voice barely cuts through the tension in your head. You didn’t know what to say, yes or no?

You’ve stared out your window your entire life, craving Pandora, reading and watching old logs over and over again to get a glimpse of what it might feel like. Now you’re presented with the opportunity, and you can’t bring yourself to say yes.

You don’t know why, but there's something like barbed wire in your throat and a fog in your mind. It's overwhelming.

“I’m not 18 yet.” You blurt out, tentatively looking up to your foster fathers with your weak excuse. 

Norm shrugs. “Close enough.”

You want to oppose it. You want to say yes, say no, say nothing. You stare at him silently, hands itching. God, you have everything you’ve ever wanted right here at your fingertips, you’ve been obedient your entire life, and content with what you have.

But now you have the chance to live.

~

Before Max can even finish his sentence, you’re throwing on the old avatar clothes they dug out and bounding out the door. The examination was grueling, and the excitement and anxiety were about to burst out of your veins.

You feel the sun on your skin, and you close your eyes, basking in the light. Your breath hitches as you feel a cool breeze graze your skin. Fresh air fills your lungs, crisp and lively. A shiver runs down your spine, and goosebumps run up your arms. A smile takes over your lips.

“Now, Y/n, be care-“ Norm starts to warn you, but before he can finish, you’re running. You run through the field, bounding through the grass and over logs and plants. You can’t help the exhilaration that pumps through your blood, purging your mind of any previous anxiety or hesitation.

You get tripped up in your own feet, body moving faster than it can keep up with. You throw your hands out for balance, heels digging into the ground. You’re still for a second, and a laugh rips itself from your throat. 

You throw your head back, looking to the sky as you laugh, taking it all in. Your lungs are full, your body is invigorated and strong. Just as quickly, you whip your head down to look at your feet digging into the ground, your toes wiggling in the grass and soil. 

You look up, turning to look at Norm watching you from afar. All you can do is laugh. You’re outside. You're actually outside. Within seconds, your laughing becomes hysterical as you spin around, attempting to take it all in.

It’s the same field you’d seen every day, but it’s different up close. It’s real. It doesn't take long for you to grow dizzy and fall flat on your butt, tripping over your own feet and losing balance. It’s without a doubt embarrassing, later you’ll thank Eywa that only Norm and Max were watching you, but you can’t bring yourself to care as you sink your fingers into the ground below you, threading your fingers through thin patches of grass.

You bite your lip, giggling like a child with a lollipop as you swipe your hand across the ground, committing the coarse feeling of the dried up dirt to memory, how it sticks to your palms and how the path your hand took bears a faint mark.

You can't imagine how stupid you look to Norm as he walks up to you; you’re literally playing in dirt, but the look on both your faces shows no proof that either of you cares. 

He ruffles your hair, reminding you of how messy and unkept it is, before he hands you a choker-mic and earpiece. “It’s just the first day, so I don’t want you going far, you know how badly that could have gone for Jake.” his comment draws a giggle from you, knowing the story of the great Toruk Makto from the perspective of the science guys by heart. 

“Check in every hour and keep an eye on your surroundings,” He drones on with the safety speech he drilled into Spider as a kid. You listen, but your attention is taken by the forest that lies just meters ahead of you, the edge just a glimpse of the world beyond. 

It’s captivating, every movement and sound draws your attention. It’s so much bigger than you ever could have imagined, the towering trees pushing a subtle sense of dread in your stomach. You could get lost, lose track of time, fall in love, so easily. 

You’re hypnotized by the sway of the leaves, the quiet movements, and the way the air shifts. 

Can you do this?

You’re taken from your trance when Norm nudges your shoulder. You blink hard and look at him. 

“Were you even-? Whatever,” he sighs. “Just please don’t-” he hands you a knife. “Don’t die, you’ll come back to your real body and it won't hurt you, but it’s not a fun experience…” You take the knife, observing it.

It’s a common hunting knife, the netting wrapped around the handle is worn, with basic weaving patterns. You look up to him, tilting your head. He smiles and nods to the forest, “Be safe, kid, I want you home before eclipse.” 

You push yourself up, and you take a moment to take in your sudden height difference. A smirk slips onto your lips, and he rolls his eyes, biting your lip. You turn to the forest. Anxiously, you step forward, one foot in front of the other.

Before you can think, your feet are speeding up, pushing you forward into the jungle you stared at for 17 years. You break through the edge, and you’re surrounded by trees and green, the forest enveloping you, the earthy smell sinking into your skin. 

You slow down once you’re several meters past the edge, taking in everything around you. The leaves far above you sway in the wind, tiny critters crawl around on the trees, and fallen-over logs. The sound hypnotizes you, each noise and bustle piercing your ears. The forest envelopes you, every part of your being melting into the air, begging to become one. 

You’re smiling so hard, your lips feel like they’re going to split, the ache in your cheeks forgotten before you can even bring yourself to notice.

You’re in the forest.

You take a moment to breathe in the air, the damp smell of wood and moss, soil and plants sprawling across the floor and trees. Vines wrap around branches, hanging down, some of the flowers move as if they were breathing, the sway of the grass in sync. Chirps and clicks echo, your head swiveling, trying to find the source. 

Your legs are moving unconsciously, your body in a trance. The feel of the ground beneath you is entrancing, the tickle of the grass on the bottoms of your feet. It's disorienting how soft the soil is compared to the hard floors of your home. 

Except it didn’t feel like home anymore, it never did, this is what feels right.

The smoothness of the giant leaves you run your hand over, the flowers sprouting from vines and plants, leaves of plants grazing your legs, it all leaves you breathless. Names run through your head as you observe the plants, their names popping into your head, the properties, and uses. It's surreal to see them up close, in real life. 

I should take samples.. You think to yourself, but pack the idea to the back of your mind, another day perhaps. 

The forest is enchanting, taking all of your attention, you forget Norm’s advice and just wander through the green aimlessly. You don’t even realize how far you’ve gone, how long it’s been, the pair of eyes that's been trailing you for at least a mile. 

Neteyam doesn’t understand you… You’re Na’vi but wearing human clothes? Obviously, you must be an Avatar, but he’s met all the Avatars left on Pandora during the meeting with his father, and you’re careless, like a toddler who just learned to walk. Unconcerned with where you are, where you’re going, clueless of your surroundings. 

He considered you could be a Skyperson, the ones who returned, but his father and the scientists doubted that the RDA would fund an Avatar program after their last mission. You’re also defenseless, wearing old clothes and no gun, no soldier, no sign that you’re here maliciously. You’re not a threat. Still, he keeps his bow ready despite his certainty that you’re harmless, in case you make an unsavory move or a different threat makes an appearance.

He tilts his head as he watches you, you’re smiling, and immersing yourself in the forest. The way you take it all in reminds him of his sister, but this is different. His sister has a natural connection, the forest being her home, you’re engulfed by it, if he hadn’t been keeping such an intent eye on you, then you would have disappeared right before him. 

Something about the way you walked, the delicate placing of your feet, the careful posture you kept to be able to turn and see all of the forest at any moment, he couldn’t just let you wander off. It’s his job as future Olo’eyktan to be vigilant and mindful; your presence, even innocuous, wasn’t something that could be acquitted. 

So he followed you, tilting his ears to make sense of your whispers to yourself. He knows English, his entire family is fluent in it, but he still frowns when he recognizes you’re speaking it. He and his siblings will use it occasionally, but he often avoids it due to the distaste he feels about it, the association it has with skypeople leaving a bad taste in his mouth.

He doesn’t contemn Skypeople as much as his mother or other members of the clan, but he never goes out of his way to speak or associate with them. 

With a soft giggle, his entire attention locks onto your face. You’re hand comes up to rest your fingers in front of your mouth as you smile at the bugs fluttering around a twirling plant after you tapped it. 

Yeah… like a toddler…

He purses his lips to hold back the sigh that tries to escape his lips. How much longer must he watch you? The decision is up to him, but he doesn’t know how to approach the situation.

He tilts his head, shifting his weight on his feet. He’s about to leave, deciding you’re not going to cause a problem, when an atokirina’ floats in front of him. It bobs through the air, seemingly aimlessly, before slowly descending towards you. His eyes follow it intently, heeding Eywa’s mind.

The spirit drifts around you, catching your attention once it bobs around your head. You can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips when you notice the spirit, you take your hand off the tree it was resting on and cup it with your other, biting your lip as the atokirina’ floats down into the cusp of your hands.

It tickles your palm and fingertips, your smile grows wider, such a being coming to you and making contact brings you endless joy, even if you don’t know the full significance of it. Slowly, you bend down to rest on your knees, keeping a slow pace to avoid disturbing the being. Once you're seated, you shift to rest on the side of your thigh, humming as you bring the spirit closer and observe it. 

He watches you for a moment, considering you before shifting to get down from his hiding spot. You gasp when he drops down from a branch of a tree opposite of you, you had the sense that you weren’t alone, but you attributed that to the bustling forest. 

Your eyes are locked onto the Na’vi boy several feet in front of you, mouth agape and body frozen. There’s a heavy silence between you, observing each other, unsure of what to say. You decide to say something, he hasn’t killed you yet, so that's a good sign, but he beats you to it.

“Who are you.” He demands, his voice gruff and thick.

You open your mouth, words jumbled in your throat before you blurt out “Y/n” his eyes are biting, pinning you to your spot.

He doesn’t say anything, observing every part of you. “I’m from the labs, um, with the science guys,” you offer. He tilts his head, furrowing his brows. You panic, realizing that you could very well be taken as an RDA sky person, “The ones who fought with you, loyal to the Na’vi.” you add abruptly, hoping to withdraw any possible suspicions or misgivings. 

His expression remains unchanging, it makes you nervous, unsure of what to do or say. Before you can try and add anything, “Come” is all he says, nodding his head in the direction he turns to walk in. Realizing the woodsprite is long gone, having floated away during the interaction, you scramble up to follow him. 

He’s quick, knowing of where to go, experienced in the trek through the forest. You clamber after him, trying to keep up with his pace while avoiding any obstacles. Your efforts are unsuccessful, and you trip over a vine-like branch that caught on your foot. 

You hiss at the sting of your palms that caught you, pushing yourself up on your elbows. You start to get up when the boy is in front of you, grabbing your hands and inspecting them. His expression is unreadable, but the way his eyes soften when he sees the minimal damage done to you makes a smile pull at your lips. 

He looks up to you, repositioning his hands to hold onto your wrists, and he stands up, pulling you up with him. “Must I carry you?” He asks lamely, annoyed at your unwieldy coordination. Quickly, you shake your head, heat rising to your cheeks from embarrassment. He nods and turns to continue his path, his hand loosely holding onto your wrist as you both continue forward. 

You don’t know how long you walk for, letting the boys hold on to you, guiding you as you study the forest you pass by. Before you know it, his pace is slowing, and you peek over his figure to see the village. A pit grows in your stomach, you fiddle with your hands, wringing your fingers as you walk through the village, eyes following your every movement. 

You don’t want to be here, no doubt much farther than what Norm and Max would have approved, but there wasn’t much you could do. You didn’t want to protest or run, overly aware of how easily the boy could overpower and kill you, but there was also the curiosity of the forest guiding you.

The Na’vi know the forest better than you ever could; you’d no doubt be safer with a stranger than on your own. It’s a chance to see and explore the forest without worrying about getting lost or running into danger. And now being in the village? It’s unexpected, but you can’t deny the excitement that swirls with the anxiety in your chest.

He walks up to a particular tent, and you notice it's larger than the others, not by much, though. Na’vi start to surround you, curious about you and the boy, the whispers and eyes on you causing you to bite your lip nervously. The boy calls out to the tent, after a moment the flaps open and out walks a tall man adorned in intricate jewelry spreading across his shoulders and chest, a tall woman, and an older woman stalking out after him. 

Their eyes fall on the boy, then you, the woman’s eyes narrow, tilting her chin up. The man just seems confused, looking to the boy for an explanation. They start speaking in the language, you understand some of it, but you’re not fluent. You pick up “Eywa’s sign” “Harmless” “daughter of the sky men” etc. You can interpret what they’re talking about, but you can’t understand specifically what is being said.

The woman narrows her eyes, studying you. You resist squirming under her gaze until the man turns to you and speaks, “So, you’re Y/n, Spider’s sister, right?” his english is clean, almost as if you were talking to one of the guys in the biolab, and your mind makes the connection.

This is Jake Sully

Your eyes widen at the realization, but you keep yourself composed. Carefully, you nod “Yes, sir, they gave me this Avatar as an early birthday gift and I decided to look around the forest,” you explain, you bite the inside of your cheek, “I’ve never seen it before” you whisper weakly, averting your gaze to the floor. 

The woman, whom you assume is Neytiri, circles you, surveying your appearance and self. She stops next to you, brushing her fingertips against your loose hair. “You have never been outside of that tawtute vessel?” she muses, curiously watching your facial response. 

Your eyes dart to her, biting your lip, you start to nod, but the attention is drawn away when a familiar voice calls out. 

“Y/n?!” To your side, Spider, Lo’ak, and Kiri stand startled. Spider’s mouth twists into a grin before stepping forward, looking you up and down. You ignore the near discomfort at the height difference between you and your brother.  “So it was viable, huh?” he muses. You tilt your head in confusion, you're about to say something before he continues, “and they gave it to you early? And they didn’t even tell me.” he feigns hurt, his amusement growing by the second.

Lo’ak steps forward and grabs him by the shoulder, “Wait, Spider, you knew about this?” he asks, pointing at you. Your brother shrugs, explaining that it was an idea they told him about a few years ago but never confirmed. You’re just as confused by your brother's knowledge of your avatar, but it’s pushed to the side when Kiri steps forward, a smile growing on her lips.

Her hands reach out, grazing your cheeks as she observes every part of your face and body. “This is amazing, Y/n!” Her eyes lock with yours. “This is amazing.” Her smile bleeds into yours, a shy grin forming as she takes your hands in hers and laughs. 

“Yeah, now you can hang out with us.” Lo’ak roughly places his hand on your head, the height difference not as drastic as before, but still there. You shyly tilt your head, biting your lip at the excitement of your friends and brother.

The buzz seems to die when their eyes are drawn to the figure that steps closer behind you, out of your peripheral you see the older woman, the Tsahik, stare at them, communicating through their eyes before they take their hands off you and back up a few steps. A lump forms in your throat as you turn to fully face the towering woman. Her gaze is unwavering, strong, it makes you want to say something, anything.

“What is your purpose, girl?” She questions the weight of her words pulling down on your every limb. What does she mean? It’s such an intense yet vague question, her firm expression not giving any help to your attempts to decipher what the right thing to say is. 

To live.

You’re out of the lab, face to face with someone other than a person you’ve known your entire life. You’re not confined to those walls anymore; you can breathe the air, walk and run without concern, see and live among what you’ve been learning about your entire life, yearning for it.

It wasn’t your intention when you stepped into the forest, and you’re sure it was Max and Norms either, but the opportunity is right in front of you. This is your choice, completely and entirely your choice.

“To learn the ways of the fore,t” you say carefully, “the ways of the people,” you bite your lip as she slowly looks you up and down. She finally meets your eye, and you straighten your back, keeping her gaze locked with yours. You can’t explain the relief that washes over your chest when her eyes twitch, the slightest softness creeping into her expression.

She glances at the boy, then at Jake and Neytiri, again silently communicating with their eyes. After a moment, she turns back to you. “I trust my grandson’s judgement,” She states. Your mind goes blank for a moment before she continues, “Both my grandchildren and the Great Mother see something in you; it would be foolish to reject you.” She turns to Jake and Neytiri again, looking to the people surrounding them all now.

“She will be taught the ways of the people,” She announces firmly. She locks eyes with Jake, then glances down at the boy who brought you here. 

Jake breathes in before stepping forward, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. “My son is to be Olo’eyktan; he must be able to lead and help the people.” He looks to the boy, his son. “It will be his job to guide her, a great way to gain experience and prove himself.” 

Whispers move through the crowd, the way the boy's lips purse makes your tail flick against your ankles unconsciously. You lock eyes with him, and you want to curl into yourself at the way he looks at you. The intensity of his gaze hitches at your breath, reviving the weight pulling the strings of anxiety in your chest. You feel a pair of hands on your shoulders, and a voice speaks right next to your ear.

“You and Neteyam stuck together, huh?” Lo’ak’s voice is riddled with amusement. “This ought to be good,” he cackles, your brother nudging your arm as he makes similar comments. 

The boy stands in front of you, eyes fixed on you, and you swear you see the hardness of his gaze waver.

Chapter Text

Newton's third law: Action & Reaction

His third law states that for every action (force) in nature, there is an equal and opposite reaction. If object A exerts a force on object B, object B also exerts an equal and opposite force on object A. In other words, forces result from interactions.

You learned about Newton’s laws 4 years ago when Grace mentioned them in one of her logs. She was explaining another scientist's research on the Ikrans; their anatomy vastly different from anything alive on earth, and they wanted to compare them to Pterosaurs. Flying fascinated you after that, fully diving into any books you could find on physics and birds. 

Like how you wanted to learn about everything on Pandora, compensating for never being able to see it, you wanted to know everything about flying, maybe if you knew enough, you could imagine what it's like.

~

You were dizzy, stepping out of the link pod. You barely caught yourself against it, collecting yourself after the postural hypotension. After a moment, you walked into the main part of the lab, greeting Norm and Max as you entered.

“You’re late, Birdie, dinner’s gettin’ cold.” Norm states, raising his brows at you from his chair. All you could do was shrug and smile. 

Max, still focused on the sample he had in the microscope, spoke. “If we weren’t so nice, we’d ground you and revoke your driver privileges.” He muses, smirking with amusement as Norm chuckles. 

You roll your eyes. “Well, I’m ever so grateful to have such forgiving fathers.” Sitting next to Norm, you stick out your tongue at him, dodging his attempts to pinch your cheek. 

“Yeah yeah, whatever, kid.” Norm swats at you, smiling for a moment before glancing around. “Where’d you park your avatar, by the way?” He asks, eyeing you with a raised eyebrow as you freeze. “You didn’t leave it in the forest, right?”

You purse your lips, fiddling with your fingers as he leans in for a response. “No…” You mutter. “It’s um… in the village.”

Max stops, hands hovering over the nobs of the microscope, leaning back after a moment to stare at you, Norm staring with the same bewilderment. 

“What?” The latter blurts out.

“With the Omaticaya, they set me up in one of the Marui’s.” You explain nervously, your nails starting to dig into the calluses of your palm. 

Norm looks at you, tilting his head lamely before shaking in. “Didn’t I explicitly tell you not to go that far? I-i mean what were you thinking?” He leans forward, gesturing with his hands. You only lower your head and pout your lips in response. “How did you even get there?”

“Neteyam found me and took me.” You look up at him, looking between him and Max with a stubborn look on your face, finally able to get your defense out. “What was I supposed to do? Say no?”

You watch as Norm purses his lips, looking over to Max, who meets his gaze before shrugging. He sighs, shaking his head before turning back to you.

“And what happened exactly?” He asks, curiosity and hesitance laced in his voice as he stands up.  You mull over the events, trying to figure out the best way to explain it all as all three of you make your way into the makeshift dining room, where they had already set out the food. 

You smiled, knowing they made the choice to wait for you before starting to eat. Sitting down across from them, you start to tell them what transpired during your time in your Avatar. From the Atokirina’, Neteyam finding you, Mo’at declaring your induction into the village. You leave out select details, mainly focusing on the actions and not on what you were feeling. You were already having to process that yourself.

“And she just let you in like that?” Norm questions, from across the table, pulling a chunk of bread off his piece with his teeth. You nod, widening your eyes and smiling, just as surprised as your foster father.

The two scientists look at each other, a moment passes, and Norm shrugs.“I mean Jake got in for about the same, while the relations were significantly worse, it’s not unimaginable.” He nods to Max, who has a tentative look on his face.

He purses his lips and shakes his head to himself “Y/n I’m not sure how i feel about this” He speaks hesitantly “I mean i don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be in the link pod for extended periods of time, all day every day” You frown at his words, your shoulders slumping, demeanor visibly changing.

“Max..” Norm says in a low whisper, moving his hand to shield his mouth from you, as if what they’re saying isn’t to be heard. Max looks at him, and he tilts his head carefully. After a moment, Max purses his lips and turns to you, “We can continue this conversation later. Tell us about what you saw.” A guarded smile forming on his lips.

You don’t like how he changed the subject, feeling as if they’re hiding something from you, but you take a deep breath and start recalling the forest, every image of it engraved in your mind, going into more detail than before.

The decompression door goes off, and all your heads turn. Spider walks through, pulling off his oxygen mask and tilting his head to the side to stretch his neck. 

“You’re late.” Norm speaks through a full mouth. 

“Aren’t I always?” Spider asks, a smirk on his face. “Jake and Neytiri wanted to talk to me about Y/n. They wanted to talk to her, but you were disconnected by then.” he explains, motioning his hand towards you as he walks over.

You frown. “They told me I could go to sleep?” You state, confused. He shrugs and plops down next to you, grabbing a piece of bread from your plate and taking a bite.

“Yeah, but I guess they forgot that you can’t really be ‘woken up,’” He mumbles through the bread in his mouth. “It was funny seeing Jake get all fumbled about forgetting.” he laughs, pointing at Norm, who cracks a smile.

“The mighty Olo’eyktan, you’d think with how attached he is to guns, he’d still have some human left in him.” You roll your eyes as they take turns making jabs at the ex-marine. You make eye contact with Max, who shares your expression, a smile cracks on both your lips as you roll your eyes, and he shakes his head.

You lean over and nudge Spider’s shoulder. “Y’know, Spider, this means you don’t have to try and remember every detail of your day.” You grin. His smile falters for just a moment, a look passes through his eyes, but it blinks away before you can recognize it. “And you can take me to all your favorite places.”

He leans back in his chair, keeping his eyes on you before he grins. “That’s as long as Neteyam doesn’t take up all your time.” Your eyes widen, you purse your lips nervously, and glance away. You hadn’t thought about the training yet, Neteyam had yet to leave your mind, but you honestly don’t know what to expect with the upcoming training.

You shake your head and open your mouth to deny the accusation, but he interrupts you, “Or maybe you’ll get all spiffy and serious like him.” his smirk has doubled in size now. At this, you roll your eyes and throw your plastic fork at him. 

“I will not, I doubt he’s gonna even pay much attention to me.” You lean back in your chair and grab your stolen bread out of your brother's hand. You hadn’t realized Norm had gotten up until he was reaching over and placing a food tray in front of Spider and taking his place in the chair across from you.

Spider leans forward and immediately starts stuffing the food into his mouth, earning a “manners, please” from Max.

“Knowing Neteyam, he might not pay much attention to you, but he’ll take his job seriously,” Norm states, leaning onto the table. “And he won’t go easy on you.” Your eyes dart to Max to confirm his statement, he nods, and you throw your head back and groan. 

Spider chuckles and pokes at your head, making it loll to the side. “Don’t worry, Birdie, Kiri and I will be on your side,” He comforts, pinching your ear. You move your head to face him, you raise a brow, and his smirk returns, “Lo’ak might try and make things harder.” You roll your eyes.

“Of course, what are friends for?” You mutter, reaching your hand over to flick his forehead

-

Norm strides into your room, flipping on your light and pulling off your covers. You groan, flipping over to your side and curling in on yourself. “Rise and shine, Birdie!” he says, bending down and ruffling your hair. “Village life starts early, so if you don't wanna be late, you should get up.” You groan and swat your hand at him before rolling back onto your back.

“Maybe a more careful approach next time?” You murmur, squinting your eyes to help them adjust to the light. He laughs and places his hand on your back as you start to pull yourself up. He slides his arm under the bend of your knees and picks you up. 

You slip your arms around his neck, your head lolling into his chest. “I can walk.” you mumble out, your eyes squinting close as he exits your room, subjecting your sensitive vision to an even harsher and brighter light. His chest rumbles, considering your comment before carefully placing you down, keeping his arm your yours for support.

Thankfully, the movement didn’t rush to your head, and you remained composed. The walk to the main area wasn’t far, your eyes still blinking in annoyance when you reached the table. Norm pulls out a chair for you, and immediately you scoot closer to the table and rest your head into your arms. A chair scratches the floor next to you, and a hand is shaking your upper arm. 

“And the princess has risen!” Spider teases, sitting down in his chair and scooting closer to you. You raise your head and realize he has placed your breakfast tray down in front of you. You shoot him an annoyed look for his comment, aware of how you were always the last to wake up. 

Despite always waking up late, you barely slept, staying up late at night, stuck in your own thoughts, it was going to be a hard adjustment to wake up earlier.

You reach over and pick a grape and pop it into your mouth, chewing sluggishly as your eyes slowly blink open. 

“Hurry up, usually I’m out the door by now, but I thought I'd wait for you.” The statement pulls a smile at your lips, you straighten up and pull your arms above your head to stretch. Spider’s not the most patient or thoughtful person you know, but you’ve grown to appreciate little moments like these, softness peaking out of the nonchalant exterior he puts up. 

-

The difference you feel when you open your eyes is immediate, maybe it’s the fact that your avatar isn’t sick like your human body is, but there’s something else. The smell of the forest, the rustle of the village and jungle outside of your tent, the air is fresh, moist, and sticks to your skin compared to the sterile air of the lab.

You’re greeted with the view of the forest, your Marui being fairly open, allowing the soft streams of dawn to filter in. You pull yourself up out of your hammock, setting aside the realization that you felt completely fine after a sudden postural change. You glance around, taking the Marui in. 

It’s empty, save for a table and some bowls, and of course, your hammock and a few spare furs Kiri brought you. It’s not quite homey, a guest room at best, but your room back at the lab isn't much better. The blinding white walls and medical equipment just inches away from your bed always made it feel more like a hospital than a home, so this tent is already a step up.

You run your hand along the walls, feeling the material beneath your fingers, squinting to see the intricate weaving and texture. You want to decipher what it was made out of, what plant, what the technique was, why that plant, and when they found out that plant and that technique worked best. You furrow your brows, you can’t place what it was made out of, it reminds you of the cloth of Jake's battle band, but thicker.

You run your eyes across the tent, looking for clues and admiring the craftsmanship, pausing when you feel a familiar feeling pricking the back of your neck. Despite the frozen feeling in your body, you turn around, eyes landing on Neteyam standing a few yards away. 

He stands there, examining you. You weren’t sure for how long, you only hoped you had sensed him quickly. He tilts his head, watching you for a long moment, unaware of the feeling of what feels like dumbbells lying in your chest, before he starts moving closer. 

“You are up.” he notes, his voice carrying through the silence. You glance down at your hands, wringing your fingers together.

“Norm told me it would be a good idea.” You didn’t mean for your voice to come out in a whisper; you’re worried he didn’t even hear you, but he nods. 

A moment passes before he speaks, a long, grueling moment that makes it hard to breathe. “You should join us for breakfast.” A brief smile presses against his lips before he turns around and starts walking back in the direction he came from.

Tentatively, you take a deep breath and follow him. It's not a long walk before you make it into the thick of the village; Marui’s no longer scattered about among the trees, but close together and bustling with people. The village, alive and waking up, is preparing for the works of the day. You’re only a few feet behind Neteyam, meeting his eyes when he briefly glances back at you. You follow behind him anxiously, resisting the urge to look around, wanting to seem as small as possible when you feel the stares follow you.

You speed up your pace, catching up to Neteyam, hoping his presence will shield you from the intensity and distaste that seemed to stab into your skin. 

Neteyam notices your unease, but does little to acknowledge you; he’s still unsure of you. You’re harmless, raised by scientists loyal to his people, close friends with his siblings, and the sister of an extension of his family. Rationally, he shouldn’t have any problems in your presence.

But rationality is quick to become scarce, he’s learned. Yesterday, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, analytical of the unknown sky person Eywa brought him to. Today, he can’t bring himself to look at you, unappreciative of the way his body and mind freeze at the mere thought of you.

The only other time he’s felt this was when he came face to face with a pack of nantang, unable to draw his bow or knife, only able to dodge the beast that lunged for him when he heard his sister scream. 

His uncertainty isn’t unwarranted; you’re not a danger, but he doesn't know you. He’s never actually met someone new; everyone in his life is someone he’s known, even the Na’vi he doesn't know have been present long enough to never raise a second thought in Neteyam’s mind.

You’re a complete mystery to him, you’ve lived not-even-that-far-away for 17 years, he’s known your brother for as long as he can remember, and his siblings have apparently been visiting you since before they knew how to hunt. Yet somehow, your mere existence has seemed to go unheard of by him.

He watches as you sit down next to him nervously, at a close, but comfortable distance, and start fiddling with your fingers. You look severely out of place, still wearing your human clothes and keeping your head down, but you seem invisible, almost. Like he could look away for a moment and you’d blend in with the background instantly, like if he reached out and touched you, you’d dissipate into the air.

He considers testing the theory, watching you out of the corner of his eyes. He hadn’t realized he’d been staring until Kiri lunged at you from behind, wrapping her arms around your neck and pulling your back to her chest, nuzzling her cheek against yours.

You yelp before being thrown into a fit of giggles. “Kiri, don’t scare me like that!” You place your hands on her forearms that rest against your collarbones. She pulls you back further, positioning herself on her knees so she can rest her chin atop your head. 

“Y/n, you are up early~” She teases, rolling the ends of your loose hair between her fingers. You tilt your head back in an attempt to get a better look at her when you see Lo’ak pop up from behind her, leaning over his sister to poke his finger at your cheek.

“Yeah, aren't you usually like, just going to sleep by now?” He places his hands on Kiri’s shoulders for stability as he leans over you both to place his face in front of yours, his braids hanging down. You stick your tongue out and push at the side of his head. You thought that since you technically complied with what he wanted by leaving the lab, he’d give up his pestering habits he developed over the years.

“I’m not up by choice,” you state, keeping eye contact with the Na’vi as he repositions to be sitting next to you. “I’m just as surprised as you are.” A grin spreads across your face in sync with the boy next to you. You hear Kiri sigh before she pinches your cheek.

Neteyam watches your interaction with his siblings; he wouldn’t be surprised if he had whiplash from how quickly your entire demeanor changed, how differently you act with people who aren’t him. Just seconds ago, you looked like you were ready to lie down and melt into the ground; now you were much more relaxed, the quiver in your lips replaced with a loud grin.

An uneasy feeling settles in his stomach. He knows so little about you, yet his siblings seem to know you and your habits like the back of their hands. He didn’t know that you being up at this time was apparently unusual; he half expected it when he came to check up on you. You didn’t tell him that was an ordinary occurrence, but you sure didn’t tell him it wasn’t one. The information you offered his siblings doesn’t contrast with what you told him; you didn’t tell him much, not that he asked for much, but it’s vastly different, much more personal.

His point is driven home when Tuk comes bounding through the crowd and throws herself into your arms. “Y/n! Y/n! So it’s true!!” The young girl cries, she wraps her arm around your neck, and plops herself down onto your thigh. Her eyes beam up to you, a massive smile stretching across her face as she stares at you in awe.

A soft giggle escapes your lips as you wrap your arms around her and pull her closer, her back against your chest. You smile, repeating her name in a fondness that their mother often does. Tuk nuzzles herself into your hold, grabbing your hand and holding it in front of her face to marvel at.

Tuk sputters out as many comments as she can while you and Kiri giggle at her excitement, Lo’ak rolls his eyes and falls back from his heels to sit flat on his butt. 

“Are you coming with us today?” Tuk’s question makes both you and Neteyam pause, making brief eye contact before she babbles on about what she has planned. “I wanna collect fruit! I reeeaaaally think you’d like Yovo, it’s so sweet and-” 

Neteyam reaches over and places a hand on her head. She turns her attention to her brother, her excitement not faltering. He offers her a soft smile before speaking, “I’m sorry, Tuk-tuk, but it’s my job to teach Y/n.” He watches as her head tilts, Kiri and Lo’ak’s attention on him now, too. “That means I have her today.”

A stiff pout reaches Tuk’s lips, she glances up to you for some kind of consolation, but you simply offer her an apologetic smile. 

“I’m sorry, Tuk, but I promise I'll still spend time with you.” You brush a braid that fell in her face behind her ear, “and once I’m done with my training, then we’ll have more time together than ever!” She tilts her head, considering it for a moment, glances between you and Neteyam before burying her head into your chest.

“You promise?!” 

“I promise.”

You’re so sweet with his sister, the softest and fondest smile on your lips. 

He can’t explain the unpleasantness he feels.

-

Neteyam doesn’t look back as he strides through the forest; he knows you’re behind him, your raucous stumbling letting him know you’re just a few feet behind him.

You, on the other hand, struggle to keep up with him. His long strides and adept knowledge of the forest give him an advantage you can’t dream of attaining. You try to keep your eyes on him, not wanting to lose him in the forest, but you keep having to look to the ground to watch where you’re stepping. 

You doubt Neteyam would let you get lost; you don’t know how long he had followed you, but you know that you weren’t alone for the majority of your time in the forest yesterday. You still try to keep up, jumping over logs and narrowly dodging trees and other sudden obstacles. 

A branch jutting out from a nearby bush snags at your shirt, feeling the pull, you immediately turn around to undo the catch, but your foot catches on a surfaced root as you step back. A yelp leaves your lips before you even begin to fall, you throw your arms out to try and find stability in something, but it’s useless.

You pull your arms up to protect your head when a pair of hands finds purchase under your armpits. Neteyam pulls you up and towards himself, peeking his head over to see the source of your fall as you straighten yourself out.

“Must I carry you?” A smile perks at the corners of your lips, but you quickly smush it away. You shake your head and turn to face him, and his head tilts forward as he examines you. “You are like a baby, learning to walk,” he says lamely.

You smile shyly, “I have a hard enough time walking in my human body; this will be a learning curve.” You try to joke, but it falls flat as he scrunches his brows and tilts his head in confusion. He stares at you like he’s trying to speak to you through his eyes, like he’s saying a million things and you’re just not getting it.

After a moment, he shakes his head and turns around, continuing his path through the forest. His pace is slower; you notice when you struggle less to follow him. You tread the forest for a few more minutes, you try to keep your focus on Neteyam, knowing that this wouldn’t just be a leisurely walk, but you can’t help the way the forest captivates you.

The weight in your stomach grows with every step, every new specimen you get a glance of, you can’t explain what the feeling is, but you don’t want it to go away.

You snap your attention to Neteyam when he stops abruptly, looks up at the trees, and glances at the surrounding flora. 

“What is around us?” He asks, his question catching you off guard. Vague yet intense questioning must run in the family…

You glance around, taking in the forest and vines, plants, and creatures growing and living around you. “The forest.” You’re technically not wrong, but you know there’s more to it than that, so you scramble to say more before he comes to resent your shelteredness more than he probably already does. “Life, plants, and animals”

Again, you’re not wrong, but the look he gives you tells you that you’re off the mark. He keeps his gaze on you, looking at you from over his shoulder before turning his attention to a short bush-like plant on the ground. He bends down and plucks two large seeds from the center bulb of the blue plant.

Lionberries, or Cynaroidia decumbens, are one of the lesser-researched plants, but still well known. He stands up and hands you the seed. Carefully, you take it and cup it in your hand. 

You study it for a moment before looking at him. “This is the umm.. Kllpxiwll?” You speak slowly, wanting to get the pronunciation right, and he tilts his head and nods, a small smile on his lips.

“Kllp-xi-wll,” He repeats, sharpening his pronunciation in the beginning. “You know of it?” he steps closer and takes a bite out of the second seed. Nervously, you glance from the seed to him and nod.

You fiddle with the seed in your hand, feeling the texture and density of it for yourself. “I’ve studied the logs Grace made about the forest.” Your eyes dart around the trees, landing on different vines and plants, names popping in and out of your head, “um uh, this is good for protein, right?” 

He nods carefully, he takes another bite out of the seed, and motions towards yours. Nervously, you take a bite. It’s an earthy flavor, a little bitter, but it's mellow enough to be enjoyable, like the piece of dark chocolate Norm found and gave to you years ago.

He steps back towards the plant and plucks one of the leaves. He rubs his fingers across it several times before running his fingers along the tree next to you, a faint blue mark left behind.

“Around us is our way of life.” He speaks in a mellow voice, keeping his eyes on the shapes he lazily draws with the pigment. “When ground up, these leaves create a much more vibrant paste that we use for painting.”

He turns to you and holds out his hands, one with the half-eaten seed and the other covered in the pigment from the leaf. “Everything here is a part of the way of life we have created, a plant is created from the energy of Eywa.” He gestures to the green surrounding you. “Animals feed on the plant, using the energy for themselves. We then hunt those animals and use that energy.”

He steps forward and swipes his thumb down the center of your forehead, leaving a faint blue mark that blends in with the color of your skin. “And once we die, we return the energy back to Eywa.” His eyes meet yours, “and a plant is born.”

Slowly, you nod your head. It’s basic science; you learned about life cycles when you were 8, when you were first really getting into the scientific part of everything. It’s an easy thing to understand, but somehow this feels deeper; it’s more than just the basic life cycle lesson. 

Everything you’ve learned up till now has been through the eyes of a human born on earth, someone who grew up with the way of life that almost destroyed the beautiful planet you stand on now.

You wonder if Earth was once this beautiful.

The way humans perceive things is inherently different from the Na’vi. From what you’ve heard, life on Earth was kill or be killed, take for yourself, and don’t look back. An unimaginable way of life for those on Pandora. So everything you have learned isn’t wrong, scientifically it might be more than the Na’vi themselves may know, but something tells you that it’s not right either. Perhaps it’s the perspective you’ve learned it through; it’s the same information, but with completely different meanings.

You knew that things would be different outside of the lab, being an avatar, but the revelation makes your mind feel paralyzed. It’s barely been a day since you found out you had an avatar at all, and you can already feel the humanity of your existence being challenged.

Neteyam saw the change happen, the way your eyes widened, and you weren’t just listening to him, but you were hearing him. A smirk passes over his lips as he turns and starts walking away, knowing you’ll follow behind him.

-

You're exhausted, to say the least. Your legs ache from the almost constant walking, the bottoms of your feet sting from the scrapes and pricks from the unforgiving forest floor, your stomach turns, and you wonder if you ate too much or too little before you eagerly followed the Olo’eyktan’s son on this journey. 

You had been walking for hours, Neteyam wanting to waste as little time as possible. Your head hurt from the constant quizzing he started after you revealed your years of knowledge on the research of Pandora. 

You thought you had been making progress with him, his stone demeanor faltering, until your exhaustion got the better of you.

He’d point at a plant or passing animal, and you’d have to name it and everything you knew about it. The increasing venom in his stare when you pronounced something wrong only worsened your anxiety, resulting in a less-than-satisfactory performance.

You pronounced it wrong, you were thinking of a different thing, you didn’t know enough about it, you were just flat out wrong. You just wanted the ground to swallow you whole, you know that you don’t know everything, but you’ve studied Pandora your whole life, you know a lot, and he’s definitely being too nitpicky. It’s your second day being outside of the lab, for Christ's sake! You try to be patient, not let his words affect you, but his snappy comments and rather mean words make you wonder why he even agreed to this in the first place.

“Skxawng, wrong again.” he scoffs, skillfully climbing over a large fallen branch and continuing on, not even waiting for you. The branch is arched and high up, propped up against another tree enough to see through the bramble and vines hanging below it. The tangled vines are too thick to go through, and the brush to your sides is the same, leaving you with only the option to go over. 

You bite your lip and reach your arms up to try to climb the fallen branch, but you can’t find a good grip; it’s suspended in the air enough for you to have to rely almost entirely on upper body strength. You grip your fingers into subtle grooves, but your fingernails start to sting, so you pull them away. You step back, considering going around it, when you notice Neteyam had stopped; you can see his still figure through the vines in front of you.

He stands watching you, narrowing his eyes and observing you. If you went around, you feel it would be failing whatever test you think he’s putting you through. He can’t not teach you. If anything, he should understand your hesitation and inability to travel like he does, it would just show him what he needs to help you with more.

But you want to impress him, show him that you’re not just some human that wants to learn for fun, prove yourself worthy of his teaching.

So you take several steps back, eyes scanning the scene, when you spot a thick vine hanging from the tree the branch is propped against. Quickly, you stride over and pull at it, testing its stability. When it doesn’t give, you smile and back up a few steps. You wrap the vine around your hand and pull yourself up, throwing your other hand up and gripping the vine and pulling yourself up till you're at the height of the branch. You brace your feet against the tree, stabilizing yourself on one before throwing the other over the thick branch. 

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you once you’ve let go of the vine and you look down. You actually did it. You bite your lip in excitement and swing your other leg over before jumping off and landing on the ground with a thud. 

You’re a little disoriented, admittedly, having never jumped from such a height, but you’re on your feet and have no sprained or broken limbs. You whip your head up to meet Neteyams, an excited smile on your lips, full teeth. 

He looks you up and down before nodding and turning around. “You are a fast learner, but here…” He looks at you from over his shoulder, gesturing around you. “There is no room to hesitate or make a mistake.”

Without a second thought, he continues walking through the forest. You realize what an advantage being blue is; the farther you go into the forest, the more you really have to pay attention so as not to lose him. You wonder how he was able to stalk you so well yesterday without even being close or in sight.

You walk for about another half hour, reciting the names and purposes of plants and different animals you pass by, often repeating the ones that show up more than once. You struggle to climb the trees when he insists on it; you’re slow, but you manage to make it a fair way up. You can see one of the branches. Eagerly, you reach over to pull yourself up to it, but you lose your grip.

You scream embarrassingly loud as you fall through the branches and bramble, grabbing tightly onto the vine you get hold of. You're still for a moment, still suspended in the air, you’re about to take a breath of relief when it snaps, and you’re falling again.

The Na’vi are cat-like; you wonder if your avatar wasn’t combined with human DNA, if you’d land on your feet, if that happens to the Na’vi in the first place. 

Your survival instincts aren’t… good. Anyone raised in the forest would surely do better than closing their eyes and freezing as soon as they feel any type of fear or pain. If you don’t die from the fall, then you’re going to die from embarrassment and humiliation.

You can only wonder what Neteyam must be thinking when you feel yourself landing in his arms. He stumbles back, but stabilizes himself, his hold on you still steady.

Slowly, you open your eyes to a worried Neteyam; his eyes scan your body for any sign of injury before they meet yours. You grimace, about to apologize for your oafishness, when he kneels and carefully sets you down. 

You’re on your knees, and he’s grabbing your arms, inspecting them with a frown on his face. You silently let him, still frazzled by the experience and not wanting to bother him. His hands ghost across your skin when they land on your shirt, torn at the bottom and along the side up to your armpit. 

It doesn’t sting, so you assume the rip is the worst of the damage. After a moment, he pulls back and glances over you one more time before meeting your eyes. “Are you ok?” The question snaps you out of a state you didn’t realize you were in.

His face is serious, and all you can do is nod. A beat passes, and he nods and sits back. He stares at you for a moment. “You climbed well.” The statement is awkward, maybe because you’re still in shock, but you take a moment before responding.

“I fell.” Your voice is quiet, and you have to clear your throat after it comes out raspy and crackly. 

“You made it far.” He keeps his gaze on you, intense as always. “I am surprised you didn’t fall sooner.” You glance up and see a smirk sneaking onto his lips. A quiet chuckle escapes your lips, you wrap your arms around yourself, and shift so your legs are folded and you’re no longer on your knees.

“I’m surprised I’m still alive.” You joke, rolling your eyes and looking back up to the spot you fell from. Neteyam furrows his brows before leaning forward and pushing at your shoulder.

“You wouldn’t have died,” he states. You raise your brow questioningly, and he looks up to the tree before pursing his lips. “You would have just… hurt a lot.” He adds, a wry smile forming on his face.

You roll your eyes again before laughing, “I don’t think Norm and Max would ever let me leave my room again.” You lean back further and hit the tree, letting all your weight rest against it. “Injuring my avatar in less than 24 hours? I definitely would have thought I’m cursed.” 

He tilts his head. “I think my dad would skin me if I came back and the daughter of his closest friends was injured.” 

You let out a laugh, “Considering how you’ve been able to save me from myself several times, it wouldn’t be your fault at all.” You point out, you look down, and start drawing random shapes in the dirt. “Plus, I doubt he would care much; maybe he’d be upset, but no way you’d take the fall for it.”

He shakes his head. “He would definitely care, you’re my responsibility.” He lazily points to you, “You’re like a baby.” You roll your eyes. “It’s my job to teach you. If you get hurt, it’s because I failed.”

There's a beat of silence before you frown, “That’s stupid,” you mumble, keeping your focus on the array of lines and crudely drawn shapes in the same spot of dirt. “I’m not helpless,” you state. You glance up for a moment, only to be met with a raised brow. “I’m not! I mean, I’m here because the Tsahik saw some kind of worth in me.”

You feel that churning in your stomach you always get before you retreat back to your room, curling up on your bed and pulling up a research log or movie to occupy yourself with. This is the longest you’ve been around someone who wasn’t one of your dads in… years.

Spider, Kiri, and Lo’ak would come around a lot, but it wasn’t for long, and when it was, all the attention was on an argument Kiri and Lo’ak were having, or Spider, never you. You don’t know what you’re doing, you don’t know anything about actually being in the forest or talking to people. Lo’ak and Spider did most of the talking; it was easy to listen and occasionally egg them on.

Neteyam didn’t speak. Silence around him was deafening; it wasn’t the kind of silence you could have with Kiri or your dads. It suffocated you, so you talked. You talked to fill the space, but you don't know how to talk! You’ve made it this far, but the lump forming in your throat makes you think you’re going to throw up before you can carry on the conversation.

He stares at you for a moment. “Why else would I be teaching you?” The statement strikes you. 

You stare blankly at the ground beneath you, trying to decipher his words, trying to decipher how you feel about them. 

Before you can decide, he stands up and nods for you to do the same. 

“Lead us home” 

A moment passes

“... huh?”

He gestures in the direction you came from, “Lead us home, we are not that far out.” Slowly, you tilt your head, staring out into the deep forest before looking back to him.

“You’re serious?” It comes out quieter than you mean, nervous. He nods.

“I am here, we will not get lost.” He steps out of the way and reaches for your upper arms, nudging you closer. “I trust you were paying attention?” 

You nod, you were definitely paying attention, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of what’s around you, but you’re nowhere near confident enough to lead yourself back home. Going alone far into the woods yesterday was simply a one-off situation, excitement completely taking over your sense of logic. 

Another beat passes, and you don't make any move to start leading you both home. You look down at the floor, much more interested in the flowing grass than the multiple different looks Neteyam could be giving you. Nervously, you wring your hands and bite your lip.

Neteyam watches you for a moment before sighing. You were making so much progress, the part he saw in you yesterday came out, but only for a moment before retreating back, and he was faced with the nervous girl who seemingly only came out when he did something. 

Maybe he was pushing you too far, but he wanted to get this over with. He doesn’t know what to think of you, and he doesn’t want to. You’re a human, a dreamwalker who just so happened to be interested enough in Pandora to catch Eywa and his grandmother's eye. 

His father was once in your place, but that was different; not only was he Toruk Makto, but he made a choice to join the Na’vi and stay on Pandora. He had an entire life back on earth, everything he ever knew, and he gave it up to protect and learn from the people. You don’t have much of a choice, yeah, you could choose to stay in the lab, reject his grandmother’s offer to learn, but why would you? There’s nothing else for you. He doesn’t doubt Eywa’s judgment, but he wonders if it would be the same if the choices weren’t so… definite.

“Fine, but tomorrow you will learn.”

-

You’re exhausted when you get back to the village, you pull up enough energy to entertain Tuk, and listen to her story about her day. Your voice is quiet but smooth when you respond. She nuzzles closer to you every time you speak, seemingly making her sleepy.

Kiri and Lo’ak sit around you, asking about your training. You honestly don’t want to talk about it, but you don’t want to give them the wrong idea, so you give them vague and brief answers. It doesn’t take them long to pick up the vibe and change the subject, at least it doesn’t take Kiri long. Lo’ak needed more of a harsh nudge to his side from his sister when he asked a probing question to get the memo.

As soon as you eat, you go back to your hammock tent to sleep, waking up in the pod almost immediately.

The headache you get is splitting, a hissed groan escaping your dry throat. Norm is at your side with a glass of water. “Hey, kid, you came out at just the right time. Dinner is about ready.” He places a hand on the back of your head as you take the glass and gulp down the water as fast as you can.

He helps you over to the table where Max sits across from you and slides a screen over. You look over it, but only look back up at him, confused.

“I thought we could open the Avatar program back up, a little unofficially, but you’re the youngest Avatar driver in action, and the only one trained by the Omaticaya, after Jake.” He explains, pulling the screen back and replacing it with a food tray. Carefully, you scoop a piece of food into your mouth.

“You’ve watched enough logs for me not to have to explain them.” A smile creeps onto both your mouths. Look down at your food and think. 

“Why?” you finish chewing the food in your mouth and swallow before continuing, “I mean, the research wouldn’t exactly benefit us, it’s not like we have any experienced drivers or scientists readily available to test something new.” 

He chuckles, shaking his head, “Kid, if we wanted successful research that would ‘benefit’ us, we wouldn’t have become ‘rogue humans’ and stayed on a planet that doesn’t want science at all.” You look down at your food and consider his words.

And with that, the Avatar program opened again. After eating dinner, you sit down in front of the video camera and talk about your experience.

It was therapeutic, especially with how late at night it was, when you were completely alone. You talked about how weird it was to be in a new body, a healthy one. Being able to walk and run, feel the forest floor, and see the forest.

Talking about Neteyam’s lesson was more or less something you wanted to avoid. You were embarrassed, but you also didn’t know how to talk about Neteyam at all. You had this preconceived notion of him, you didn’t take it to heart, but it was still your only knowledge of him before the few hours you spent with him that day. You couldn’t decide if it was right or not. You couldn’t decide how you felt about him. 

You didn’t get to talk to Spider much, being busy with the log and then falling asleep almost immediately. You didn’t get much time at breakfast, waking up late because you spent so much time recording your log. So when Spider was out the door, your link pod was closing, and you were in the jungle, lying in your hammock as the slivers of sunlight crept into the sky.

You’re not so tired anymore, the perks of being an Avatar, you guess. You don’t hesitate this time, leaving your hammock and joining the bustle of the village with as much confidence as you can muster. 

“Tuk! Don’t go so fast! Mom wants you with her for breakfast!” You hear Kiri yell. Before you can really process anything, a small figure is slamming into your legs, almost knocking you over.

“Y/n! Y/n!” She grabs both your hands in hers and starts jumping up and down. She’s way too energetic for this early in the morning. A fond smile creeps onto your lips, and you reach down, scooping her into your arms and bringing her close for a hug.

“Oh tuk tuk tuk..” You murmur her name as she wraps her arms around your neck, her hands fiddling with your loose and messy hair. You smile as Kiri jogs up to both of you, smiling and reaching over to place a hand on Tuk’s back.

“Tuk, you can’t run off like that!” Kiri scolds as calmly as she can, you chuckle as Tuk just whips her head around with a quick “Sorry, Kiri!” before turning back to your hair, mumbling something about the beads she wanted to braid into it.

You offer her a smile, “Good morning, Kiri.” You giggle. She stares at Tuk for a moment before turning her attention to you.

“Good morning, Y/n, more training today?” She asks, Lo’ak walking up next to her, raising his brows to say he’s wondering the same thing.

You nod, smiling as Lo’ak rolls his eyes. “God, you’re gonna have such a stick up your ass by the time Neteyam is done with you.” You gasp as Kiri punches his shoulder, both of you gesturing to a now confused and curious Tuk.

She looks at you with wide eyes, humming a confused noise before you tell her nothing was wrong. She shrugs and goes back to the loose braids she was making with the underside of your hair. You glare at Lo’ak as he puts his hands up and laughs. “Point proven.” He mumbles out, being met with another sharp punch to his shoulder.

“Well, I’m glad you finally met Neteyam, making up for all the years you hung out with us but never him, huh?” Kiri nudges your arm, wiggling her eyebrows. You roll your eyes and shake your head.

“If I’m gonna learn the ways of the people, then I’m going to be spending a lot of time with him.” You state with a sigh.

Tuk pulls back for a second, a wide and curious smile on her face. “Y/n!” she half whispers, half yells. You turn your head so your ear is facing her, playing along with her childish habits. She giggles before leaning in and ‘whispering’ even louder. “Do you have a crush on Neteyam!?”

Her question catches you off guard, making you freeze, a slight blush heating your cheeks. Kiri and Lo’ak, who both unintentionally leaned in to hear Tuk, burst out laughing. Lo’ak with his full chest, doubling over, over dramatic laugh he always does. Kiri, in contrast, throws her head back and stifles her laugh a bit by covering her mouth with her hand.

You send the two siblings a quick glare before looking back at Tuk. “No, no Tuk, he’s just teaching me.” you’re quick to clarify, flustered by her question. 

She giggles, “But if you diiiiid, then you could be my sister!” she exclaims, patting your shoulders excitedly. Kiri and Lo’ak look to you, you widen your eyes as if to ask how on earth such a young child knew all this?

Kiri raises a brow to Lo’ak, who shakes his head and mouths “It wasn’t me.”

You shake your head and look down at Tuk. She’s a persistent girl; she latches onto an idea and rarely ever gives it up, her easily distracted demeanor misleading you to think she’d forget, only for her to bring it up with as much determination months later.

You think for a moment before nuzzling your nose into her cheek, making her giggle. “Oh, but Tuk-Tuk, I love you so much already!” You glance up at Kiri, who steps forward and places her hand on Tuk’s head. 

“Yeah, Tuk, Y/n doesn’t need to mate with our brother to be your sister.” Kiri explains, Tuk looks back to her and thinks for a moment before smiling and turning her head back to you, nodding vigorously. 

You smile at Kiri, raising your brows at each other in a knowing fashion. Talking without words, as you often found yourself doing with her. Lo’ak appears from behind you both, throwing his arms over both your shoulders, wedging himself between you and the older sister.

“Besides, Tuk, if Y/n were to mate with anyone, it would be me!” He states proudly, shooting you a sly grin. Before you can react, he’s looking over his shoulder and calling out to someone behind you. “Isn’t that right, Neteyam?”

You can feel your body freeze, you feel your blood run cold as you turn your whole body, Lo’ak briefly taking his arm off you to turn with you, placing his arm across your shoulders again and leaning against you more.

Neteyam stands, several feet away, carrying several logs of wood, a confused look on his face. “What?” he asks, looking between you and his siblings. You can hear Kiri angrily asking Lo’ak ‘What the fuck is wrong with him’

Lo’ak grins at you before looking back to Neteyam, “If me and Y/n mated, then she and Tuk could be sisters!” His voice is loud in your ear, his hand reaching up from next to your head to pinch your cheek. Lo’ak’s always had a bit of a flirty personality; it was a joke between the two of you to flirt sometimes, always acting out dramatic scenarios as kids, but it’s been a while since he showed any form of interest outside of his usual flirt.

Neteyam looks between the two of you. Lo’ak is smirking like an asshole, tilting his head back in the defiant way he started doing the past few years. Tuk is looking at him bright-eyed and shaking her head up and down, her intentions much more innocent than her brothers, genuinely excited at the idea of the girl she’s been so fond of being a part of the family.

Kiri seems to share his confusion, looking at their brother with an annoyed and baffled look. She turns her attention to him, shaking her head. The scene resembles the almost everyday occurrences when they were kids. Neteyam and Lo’ak at a standstill, except this time it's different; it’s no longer about Lo’ak being unable to hold back from his adventurous personality and Neteyam only wanting the best for him.

The air between you and Neteyam as he makes eye contact with you is thick. This situation mirrors the game they’ve been playing their whole lives, except you are here. 

“Yeah.” his voice is flat. You stand there awkwardly, eyes following his now retreating figure. Lo’ak cackles, and Kiri scolds him loudly. 

“C’mon, it was funny! And I didn’t do anything wrong!” You hear Lo’ak defending himself from Kiri, reasoning it’s not a big deal, and Neteyam could take a joke. “C’mon, Y/n, stop pouting like that, it wouldn’t be that bad if we mated.”

You finally pull your eyes off of Neteyam, who was now sitting in front of the fire, meeting Lo’ak’s grinning face. This is the boy you’ve known almost all your life, the one who’d stay in your room for hours on end despite how cramped it was for him. It’s Lo’ak.

You smile lamely. “What is that Kiri says?” You raise your eyebrows, Kiri stepping closer and flicking Lo’ak’s forehead. “I would drink acid.” you articulate, leaning into his face, grinning. He rolls his eyes and laughs, pushing you back by your shoulder.

You were so focused on recovering from the situation that you failed to notice Neteyam's eyes on you.