Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Soon enough, we'll enroll you here at Buttonwood." Mac cringes at the thought of her being a Buttonwood girl. She would sooner rather die, than be forced to wear a skirt.

"We'll get you a tutor, so you can catch up on your studies." Dylan states, the sun gleaming against the better side of his face.

She appreciates the gesture, but doesn't exactly see any A+'s in her future either. Not that she sees much of anything in her future, besides a low dug grave where a cold body slowly decays.

"Welp," the short haired girl exclaims. "Sure seems like a lot of work for a dead person."

She stares blankly at the girls walking across the field, holding such hatred for them and what they represent.

Unfortunately for them, not everyone was born with a silver spoon shoved down their throats. Recalling an earlier argument with a fellow paper girl, she recoils in her skin.

"You're not a dead person," Dylan argues. "I want you to stop saying that."

Mac arks her eyebrow, a smirk appearing on her lips as she shakes her head at him.

"Okay, dad." There is a moment between them, and she knows that her brother can read beneath her eyes. His expression drops, and he looks disappointed almost.

He opens his mouth as to say something, but no words come out. The chattering noise of his daughters catch them off guard, Mac jolting herself forward.

Dylan places a hand on her shoulder, and she stills st the unfamiliar touch. "I want you to meet somebody. This is my cousi- second cousin."

"Why is she wearing my leather jacket?" the older girl is quick to ask. Mac remembers her from the picture in his wallet.

It's a stupid name, she thinks. What kind of dumb ass name is Wilder anyhow?

She zooms in on the girls appearance, the fact that in this lifetime she may be older than her but that means nothing in terms of strength.

Her hair is a chestnut brown and sits just below her chest, the newest iphone in hand. The way her bracelets wrap around her wrists, and the way she applied her makeup.

She is exactly the kind of girl Mac would like to punch, from her nasally voice to the way her backpack clung to her.

"Because.. I loaned it to her," the older man explains. "An-"

Brian Gibbs.

"I wish you would've asked."

'I wish you would've asked'.

Mac turns her attention to the other girl who is sticking a hand out in front of her face. "Oh, um.."

"I'm Alice," the younger girl pipes up. Her face is stretched wide with a huge smile, and something inside of Mac breaks.

She's taken aback slightly by the difference.

"Alice really came around when I needed her the most," she can hear Dylan's voice faintly in her ear.

"Oh," it comes out as more of a question.

She doesn't know what she was expecting, having already seen the girl but she looks nothing like their stepmother. That was definitely a blessing on the younger girls part.

The group rode in silence.

"I was thinking Chilli's?" Dylan offers, Wilder rolling her eyes from the backseat.

"We're not twelve, dad." She snides, not looking up from her phone. "All that processed food is literally going to kill us."

He pressed his lips together, watching her through the rear view mirror. "Don't be such a party pooper. Let's honor our guest of the evening."

He turns his attention towards the girl with the shorter hair. "Alice?"

Mac makes the connection that she does look like her however. She'd never dream of anything other than getting out of this town, let alone kids.

But if she were, in any lifetime, she'd hoped they were as kind as her. "Yes, dad. Can we get chicken from the buffet?"

"Sure. Jo?"

She simply shruggs her shoulders, knowing that they never could've afforded it back in her timeline. "Yeah, whatever."

**

"Um, yeah.." KJ trailed off. She watched as the older woman opened the containers before her, with holding various fruits and vegetables. "Jo and I got into a bit of a fight."

"And.. I felt really bad about it, and wanted to apologise to he- when I went to I couldn't find her, so.." she laughed nervously.

She'd introduced herself earlier, her name was Jennifer. "It's nice of you to come all this way. Especially with everything that's been going on with her family."

The curly haired girl understood the appeal, but being here could disrupt the future. If her own mother hadn't been so tightly wound, maybe she'd feel it for own future.

"I know that it's gonna mean the world to her to see a familiar face," KJ picked up a rather unfamiliar food whilst she continued speaking.

She frowned, sliding the food across the table in her palm. "She's a brave kid, you know?"

"I'm glad she's got a girlfriend like you."

This caught her attention. "What.. um?"

"I'm- I'm not her girlfriend, no. We're just- we're just regular friends. You know, norma- normal friends.." her panicked hand gestures certainly weren't helping. "I- were not even that close."

"It's not.. it's not like that at- um. We're not um.."

"That's what I meant," the woman smiled. "Just a.. girl who's a friend."

"Yeah.."

The doorbell rang, and she was literally saved by the bell. "Let me get that."

"Mom, we got Chilli's!" Alice exclaimed, shoving the crumpled up bag in her face.

Jennifer smiled wide at the sight of her daughters, a hand ruffling in her hair. "That's great, sweetie. Jo, what did you get? Did you have a nice time with your cousins?"

Mac replied with a softer smile, bobbing her head. "Yeah, I mean.. I've never had Chilli's before."

"That's great. Wilder?"

"It's like you guys want me to break out, or something. I mean, Chilli's?" the teenager scoffed, throwing her hands in the air as she stormed off. "I'll be in the kitchen- getting a real meal."

Dylan shook his head, "I'll go and deal with her."

"Who even is that girl, anyways? Another stray," Wilder asked begrudgingly. She pulled a green juice from out of the fridge, passing Mac.

Jennifer sighed, pinching at the bridge of her nose. "Wilder, be nice."

KJ remained in the hallway, her eyes on the blue eyed girl. "Hello, I'm Alice."

"O- oh, hello?" she greeted, taking the weight of the younger girl in her engulfing hug. "I'm um.."

"What the.." Mac paused, looking at the brown haired girl beside her. "..hell are you doing here, KJ?"

She seethed through her teeth, grabbing the girl by her wrist and pulling her aside.

"Is that you're girlfriend?" Wilder scoffs. "I mean.. I don't know what I was expecti-"

"That's enough, Wilder." Dylan intervenes, grabbing her shoulders and swiftly guiding her up the stairs.

She can be heard groaning in the background, her footsteps trailing behind her.

Alice follows in pursuit at the subtle nod of her mother. "I will leave you girls be," she says.

KJ presses her lips together, visibly anxious about the reaction of her fellow paper girl. "I know you told me to stay away, but Ma-"

Mac turns her head. "It's Jo."

The curly haired girl nods, "Right.. Jo." She takes a single step forwards, not backing down. "You know you can't stay here, right?"

"I'm not going back," the shorter girl states.

"Mac," she vocalised. "You can't stay here. You don't belong here."

Mac scoffed. "Oh, and you do?"

"No! No, and neither do you. This isn't our timeline, and just being here could ruin everything."

"Why would I go back when I have a chance to start over, huh?" Mac steps forward, meeting her in the middle. "When I don't have to die this time?"

KJ's face shrinks, her eyelids batting away her upcoming tears. "You don't.. you don't have to start over, Mac."

She keeps her voice down, quiet. "Are you- Mac, are you sick?"

Mac sighs, "Look. In four years, there's no future me, okay? Dylan told me when I first met him, about how I.. died."

"Died?" KJ exclaims, her voice breaking.

"Keep your voice down." She grabs ahold of her arms, shifting her aside. "I'm not leaving."

Despite her headstrong personality, it had never occurred to KJ that she'd once have to live a life without the blue eyed girl. She can still remember the day she first laid eyes on her, the freedom she craved.

"Mac.."

Mac rolled her eyes, getting frustrated. "Christ, Kaje. I'm not leaving, so do what you wan-"

"If you're not leaving, than neither am I." She stands her ground, her raspy voice predominant. "You can't.. Erin, and Tiffan-"

"God, you're like a broken record. What's next, huh? Gonna hit me with your hockey stick?" She spat, raising her eyebrows. "Go on, hit me. You gonna hit me."

KJ unwillingly raises her fist, landing square on the other girls face and sending her flying. "Mac.."

"Get off me, you psycho."

"Oh my," Jennifer shouts, as she comes running. "That's enough, let's get you cleaned up."

She gasps in her spot, hands reaching for her mouth, slapping it close. What had she done?

"I.. I didn't.." Mac was right, she was a psycho. Maybe people like her just weren't supposed to cross paths with people like Mac. "I can- I can leave."

"Nonsense," Jennifer disputes, shielding Mac with her body as she wipes her bloody nose clean with a tissue.

"Pinch it there," she directs to the short haired girl. "Karina, was it?"

KJ nods meekly, hands connecting behind her back. "..KJ."

"How about we get you settled on the couch?" she suggested, sympathetically. "I'd offer you the guest room, but.. well we only have one of those."

"My- my mom is probably worried, and- and wondering.. where I am. I should- I wouldn't want to be a bother," she continued to ramble.

Unable to take her eyes of Mac, who was currently staring daggers at her, she bit at her inner cheek. "I- I.."

"We will get you settled," the older woman persisted. "And then we will get you a phone so that you can call your mother.. unless you have your own?"

KJ shook her head. She couldn't believe the size of phones now, compared to the one's back in the 80s, they were miniscule.

"Right." She huffed, out of breath. "Well, let me go and grab some extra blankets and pillows. Feel free to watch anything on tv."

Mac continued to glare down at her, causing her face to flush.

Jennifer waved her hands in the air, motioning between the two girls. "I am going to take Jo upstairs, so just sit tight."

KJ watched as she guided her up the stairs, just like Dylan had Wilder. They looked like a real family, and why wouldn't they?

They were Mac's biological family, the real family that she deserved. It wasn't fair to ask this of her, but they weren't safe waiting it out.

She looked around the room, taking it all in for the first time since her arrival. The walls were plastered with photos of Dylan and his kids, Jennifer.. Mac.

"What.." she spoke aloud, gently grabbing a frame off-centred in the hallway.

It was Mac, and Dylan as kids. They were stood outside their house, in front of the sign by Mrs Carsons house. She appeared to be wearing Dylan's hand-me-downs and her statement turtle necklace.

She felt sorry for the girl in that photo, the one who never got to see her brother change.

Dylan had become this renowned doctor, and Mac's death had been the cause of change. He was a father and a husband, no longer someone's son or brother.

Mac had never spoken much of their mother, probably because she had no memories to recall. KJ sighed heavily, stroking the photo with her thumb.

"There we are," the voice had startled her. "Sorry, didn't mean to make you jump."

She placed the photo back in it's rightful place, following after the woman who was now in her pyjamas. "Than- thank you."

Jennifer fluffed out her pillows, settling them on the sofa. "No worries, but do me a favour?"

"Yeah?"

"No more punching people, at least under my roof."

KJ bit back her smile, "Promise."

"Oh, and make up with Jo. I know she's missed you, and I wouldn't want to ruin that over one silly argument."

"Yeah.."

Hours had passed, all this tossing and turning was getting exhausting. KJ huffed drastically, hitting her pillow as she rose to her feet.

It was unchillingly calm in comparison to the last seven days of chaos and time travelling.

She looked at the remote on the coffee table, lost in thought for a moment. She entertained the idea about how much easier it would have been to watch some tv, before tossing it aside.

The oak stairs creaked, clinging on to the banister for support as she walked on her toes. The hallway was also lined with family photos, just like Erin's.

She knocked on the only bare door, assuming it was the guest room. "Mac?" she called out, her voice no louder than a mouse. "Mac, are you awake?"

KJ lingered for a moment, knocking one more time before deciding she would accept defeat. "Mac, I know you're awake."

She had no right to be demanding. "Mac?"

The door swung open, revealing Mac.. in a pair of shorts?

"What do you want, KJ?" asked an angry Mac. "It's like one in the morning."

Her mouth rested in an O shape, looking down at the girls legs. She'd known Mac for almost four years, and not one of them had she seen her wearing shorts.

At least, without anything under them.

She'd always assumed it was a fashion thing, not that Mac was fashionable. Quite the contrary.

"I.. are you wearing shorts?"

The bruise was prominent, her eye painted purple. "That- you wake me up in the middle of the night to ask me about my clothes?" Mac frowned, irritated.

"No," KJ denied. Her cheeks were flushed, hands tied behind her back on instinct. "I came to apologise. I- I don't know what came over me."

She sighed, promising to be gone in the morning. "I'm really sorry, Mac."

"You're an idiot."

KJ remained silent, not sure whether the other girl was accepting her apology or denying it. Mac was a complicated soul.

"You don't have to leave, you know? Look, just-" she rolled her eyes, pulling her inside. "I'm sure Dylan can enroll you, too."

"Wouldn't that look suspicious?" the curly haired paper girl questioned, sat on the edge of the bed. "I mean, Wild- Wilder, that's her name. Isn't it?"

"Yeah, and she's a bitch. Don't concern yourself with her."

"All I'm saying is.. I wouldn't want them thinking that we're you know," she motioned between them. "Dating."

"I know what you mean, stupid. Like I said, don't concern yourself with her. I'd punch her if I didn't need a place to stay."

KJ looked into her eyes and knew that Mac was being serious. She didn't think Dylan would put her out, at least this new Dylan wouldn't. "You're brother wouldn't do that."

"No.. but I don't wanna start stuff."

"Mac Coyle doesn't wanna fight?" she laughed. "Who are you?"

"You apparently."

The quiet suddenly washed them both over, and KJ was reminded of why they were both here.

"I think I should leave. I can't stay here, Mac."

"Where are you gonna go at two in the morning?" Mac rebutted, from under the sheets. "You gonna pedal twenty miles on your bike?"

"I brought Larry's motorbike, an- that's not the point. You deserve this, Mac. You deserve a real family, and you should have that."

"Don't.." the short haired girl sighed, crawling out from under the covers. "You don't have to leave."

KJ blinked. "Just.. just for tonight. I mean, it is dark as fuck outside."

"..Yeah, right." She turned around, making a swift exit for the door.

"Forget that uncomfortable couch."

The green eyed paper girl squinted, "What?"

"You can- ugh, you can share with me. I mean, it is just for tonight and then I never have to see you again. Right?" Mac offered.

Something about this felt more genuine than their earlier shared moments, more intimate. KJ felt dizzy to her stomach as she she climbed beside the other girl.

This was nothing more than an act of friendship, right?

Mackenzie Coyle didn't have friends.

"I can hear you thinking," Mac stated. "Go to sleep, loser."

Chapter Text

Light from the lamp reflected off the yellow curtains, the wind whistling through the window. KJ stared up at the ceiling, thoughts of tomorrow kept her mind swirling.

It comforted her in a way to hear the quiet breathing coming from the short haired girl beside her, to feel the intimate warmth of her body heat. She stared at the back of Mac's head for what felt like hours.

Pushing down the feeling of her hands running through her hair, that soft and gentle touch described as only wrong. It felt all too familiar, pulling slightly out of her grasp.

She allowed herself a taste of the apple, caressing the fine hair at the nape of her neck. Her brows furrowed, pulling her hand away ever so hastily as if she'd been a dog remanded by its owner.

Mac was.. is so bright compared to her, she thought.

She wondered how the universe could be so cruel, allowing her to live a life she knew she'd resent. Erin had such potential, and.. wasted potential it was. Tiffany grew successful, but they all knew that she would.

Mac was the definition of wasted potential.

All that livelihood, all that passion she hid just deep below the surface. She pretended not to want it, but KJ knew that was because she wanted it most of all. How could life be so undeserving of Mackenzie Adeline Coyle?

Her death had sparked that passion in her brother, in their stepmother too. It had grown into rehabilitation and rebirth, but what about her rebirth?

What about Mac, about them?

This was all accidental, an orbiting pulp around what they called earth. In another universe, Mac was nothing more than the girl in the fountain. There was an alternate universe out there, somewhere, and in that dimension Mac meant nothing to her.

Would that have been better, to have never loved at all than to have loved and lost? After all, the only way to truly hold on to something forever, is to lose it forever.

Maintain it in your memories, grasp that feeling in your stomach, feel it deeply in your bones. It was more than KJ could bear to think about, her eyelids slowly growing heavy.

The electric clock lit brightly on the bedside table, 02:27am.

Mac scoffed, “Get off of me already, you big idiot.”

“Alright. Alright, I'm trying.” KJ groaned, removing her tangled body parts from the blue eyed girl. She swept a hand across her face, removing the sleep from the inner corners of her eyes. “What time is it?”

“10:38,” the brunette answered.

“God, my back hurts.” KJ complained, holding a hand to her lower back. “Why is it so quiet?”

Mac smacked her lips, scratching at the back of her head. “Work, school.. I don't know.”

“Hmm.”

“Do I look like a god damn psychic?”

KJ sighed, pulling herself from out of the bed. She followed behind the other girl, trailing down the staircase as she held onto the banister.

A hand raised to her mouth, fanning her yawn. “What's that?”

Mac picked up the post-it note, “Yours.”

“What is it?” she asked, frowning at the box placed on the island. “Oh- wait. I think I know what it is.”

“Well, what is it then smartass?” Mac questioned, continuing to turn the object in her palms. “..IPhone?”

“Yeah, yeah. It's a phone,” KJ was just as confused as her. “Don't you remember, back when we were at that laptop shop or whatever with older Erin? They had all that cool stuff, you could touch it.”

“It's a touch screen? Good lord.”

KJ let out a soft giggle, sparkle in her eyes. “It's a phone, Mac. You can keep in touch with Dyla- oo! We should call Erin and Tiffany.”

“How?” the fellow paper girl looked at her with disgust. “I don't even know her number. How would we do that?”

“I.. okay, nevermind.”

Mac was about to say something when the door opened, and in came Jennifer. “Oh, girls. There you are, glad you're getting along now.”

She dumped her bag in one of the swivel chairs, grabbing a ready packaged salad from out of the fridge. “I wanted to talk to you about your enrollment Jo.”

KJ elbowed Mac, whose face was nose deep in the phone. “Huh?”

“Your enrollment at Buttonwood,” the older lady clarified. She lifted a finger to her mouth in a hook shape, placing her fork on the edge. “You're twelve, born Jun- July.. 25th?”

“July 5th,” the curly haired girl corrected. “19..”

“What was that, sweetheart?”

She cursed her lips, hand conjoined around her back. “..Nothing. 2005, yeah. Cause it's 2019, and we're 12.. we were born in 2005.”

“O..kay.” Mac continued pressing buttons, none of which she knew what they did. “Why don't we go through the paperwork later, yeah?”

Mac nodded, swearing at her new phone. “What the fuck? Stupid ass fucking piece of shit.” She raised her head in the silence, looking back at her brother's wife. “..Sorry.”

“That's.. let's try to refrain from using this type of language around the girls, and when we're at school?”

“Yeah, sorry.” She lowered her head, collecting her belongings and running up the stairs with them. “Just give me one minute, KJ.”

Jennifer spun on her chair. “KJ, right?”

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“Kimberly Jo.. that's Jo's full name, right? I mean, does she have the Coyle last name or-”

“No, no. She's a Coyle, her- her father..”

“I know,” she scribbled down words on the paper. “Dylan told me about her parents. Horrible what adults can do to their own children.”

“Yeah..” KJ peered at the opening of the stairs, waiting for the sound of her footsteps. “I um.. I think I'm gonna.. yeah.”

She ignored the way Jennifer smiled knowingly, because what she knew was nothing. The pit in her stomach was hollow, and sinking.

“Don't just stand there and look stupid. Come and help me,” Mac ordered.

It hadn't crossed her mind before to note that Mac was poor, like dirt poor. She knew it seemed cruel to think that, but it was nice to see that gentle spark in her eyes.

Excitement.

That was the same look in her eyes that changed her mind back in November, 1988. Tiffany's damn walkie talkies were the reason they were sitting knee to knee right now.

Mac groaned, “What the fuck is WiFi? Is that like.. no, what the fuck?”

“I don't know.”

“Oh, because that's helpful.” The short haired girl threw herself back, phone in hand as he faced her palms. “I'm actually gonna kill myself.”

“Mac.”

“I'm just joking. It was a joke, damn.”

“What time does it say it is now?” KJ asked, peering over Mac's shoulder. “04:29?”

“No, obviously that's wrong.” The girls huddled together, staring over the phone with joined confusion. “The sun hasn't set yet, how- how does this thing work?”

“I don't know. Stop asking me, Mac.”

Jennifer had waved them goodbye, “I'll be back in twenty, girls. Help yourself to any snacks.”

“Fucking Steve Jobs.”

Karina Brandman was going to hell, and when she got there.. Wilder would be greeting her there.

“Can't you guys get a room?” the teenager scoffs, appearing in the doorway. “God.”

Mac huffed, “What does it look like we're doing? Or.. were you wanting to watch, pervert?”

“Gross, you guys are disgusting.”

“And I'm done talking to you, bye bye.” She slammed the door in the other girl’s face, rolling her eyes and jumping back into bed.

“God, I think I hate her.” KJ spat.

“Jo, darling!” Jennifer yelled, “Can you come downstairs, please?”

“Oh.. you were being serious. I didn't think you were being serious.”

“Yes, we want you to have this. Me and Dylan, your cousin loves you. Sign these for me,” she slides the papers over for Mac to sign.

Students Full Name: Kimberly Jo Coyle
Preferred name: Jo
Sex: Female
Pronouns: She/Her
D.O.B: 05/07/05
Allergies:

Name Of Guardian: Dylan Coyle
Relationship To Student: Cousin
Emergency Contact:
Email: [email protected]
Phone Number: 07761079954

Name Of Guardian: Jennifer Coyle
Relationship To Student: Cousin In Law
Emergency Contact:
Email: [email protected]
Phone Number: 07628289903

Address: 594 Orchard Park View
Postcode: W28 7QA
Street: Dalton Street
City: Stony Stream

Year Group Applied For: 8th Grade
Reason For Leaving Previous School: Moving Houses

Has The Child Ever Been In Foster Care: Yes
Does The Child Have Any Learning Disabilities: No
Any Disciplinary Issues: No

Date Of Enrollment:
Date Signed: 07/08/19
Student Signature:

“Does this look correct?” the woman asked, handing over her pen. “You don't have any allergies, do you?”

“No, no. I mean, I don't fuck with shrimp.” Her mouth dropped to an ‘O’ shape, smacking it close. “..Sorry.”

“That's okay, let's just.. focus on the task at hand shall we? I don't think dislikes count as allergies, and Buttonwood isn't the kind of place that serves shrimp at lunchtime.”

“Seems fancy enough.”

Jennifer laughed. “Well, yes but it's almost 200 years old. Let's call it a respected historical monument, instead?”

“Little miss preppy over there..” she wasn't talking about Wilder.

Measurements:
Height: 5”4
Weight: 42kg
Hips: 31.8inches
Bust: 28.5inches
Waist: 24.4inches

“I think that's.. everything. Yes, that's everything.” Jennifer confirmed. “You can go back upstairs with Karina if you'd like, or I can give you guys some money and you can go to the cinema?”

Mac presses her mouth closed, surprised. “Yeah, okay.”

“Grab your coat,” she instructed, grabbing her own from the closet. Before KJ could ask why, she interjected. “We're going to the cinema, Jennifer's treat.”

“Oh, okay. What movie are we seeing?”

Mac simply shrugged her shoulders, the fur lining around her denim jacket hitting her ears. “How would I know? We're from the 80’s and the only movies I've ever seen star Eddie Murphy.”

KJ smacked her lips, “Right.”

“She gave me $20, so that should be enough. How expensive do you think tickets are now-a-days?”

“Mac.”

“Right, fucking miss prissy over here.”

“Mac.”

“Okay, okay.”

**

“When the fuck did movie tickets get so damn expensive?” the blue eyed girl cursed, holding the tickets in her hand. “What the hell is ‘The Goldfinch’ anyways? And why can't we watch ‘IT'?”

KJ swung with her hands behind her back, skipping merrily almost. “Because I don't like horrors, Mac. I don't know.. something about being in a dark movie theatre whilst someone dies in front of you, or worse.”

“Or worse?”

“Yeah, like blood and shit.”

“Didn't seem to have a problem punching me,” she comments. “I'm just joking.”

“It's not funny. How can you sit there and watch people being tortured like it's nothing?” KJ remarked. She took a sip from her diet cola, their shared popcorn bucket in hand. “Also, I'm pretty sure that was a 15.”

Mac looked confused.

“We're twelve.”

Mac remained confused.

“We can't just sneak into the theatres, Mac. They have people that work here, you know? Like, that's their whole job.”

“Why do you even know that?” It was Mac's turn to take a sip of her soda. “Have you gotten caught hopping? Oh my god, not so fucking prissy now.”

“Shut up, Mac.”

“Ow.”

Minutes pass by, the lights in the theatre dim as the trailers begin to play. “Who the fuck is Finn Wolfhard, anyway? Stupid ass name.”

“Mac, shut up. I'm trying to watch.”

“Watch what? It's literally a bunch of trailers.”

“Other people are trying to watch,” she scoffs. “It's inconsiderate.”

“What's inconsiderate is that your fat ass has nearly eaten all the popcorn and the movie hasn't even started yet. Talk about inconsiderate, much.”

“Shut up.”

“What is your obsession with hitting..” Mac swats her hand away from the popcorn bucket. “..me?”

KJ rolls her eyes, falling back into her seat. She waits attentively for the movie to start, almost as attentively as she watches the other girl shovel popcorn into her own mouth.

The short haired girl laughs in a crowded room full of gasps, “What? I'm not- I'm not laughing at that, but so much for lack of violence.”

“I didn't read the blurb, it's not my fault.”

“It's definitely your fault,” Mac snorted, sipping at her cup with a full mouth. “I am so taking you to the cinema again.”

She knew that it was meant as a hurled insult, but the idea of her and Mac alone at the cinema again made her stomach turn. Flushing cheeks, she only hoped to disguise it as the warm lights affect.

The pale girl's hand resting sound on the arm rest, only out of reach. What had she done in a previous life to deserve this predicament?

She resented her mother, but she did all that she asked.

“KJ?” Mac whispered, leaning over in her chair. “Earth to Karina?”

“Don't call me that,” she snapped, closer than she'd imagined. Neither of them moved, her breathing heavy.

It wasn't her fault. “What's your problem?”

“Nothing. I'm fine, totally fine.”

“You're weird.” She definitely didn't stare at Mac when her back was turned, waiting for her further reaction. “Eat your popcorn.”

She definitely didn't turn away either when she knew that there would be no further reaction either. “You shouldn't go. It's a mistake,” the russian boy on the screen spoke.

“I have to go,” the boy with the glasses argued. “Now are you coming or not?”

They both stood in the driveway, the porch lights reflecting off his glasses. They'd established using Mac's phone that Finn Wolfhard was the one in the red, the russian one.

It reminded her of when she'd followed Mac out to her old house.. at least, the pieces of rubble that remained. “You go ahead,” Boris encouraged, nodding his head. “I'll follow.”

The boy with the glasses, Theo, didn't seem to believe him.

“One or two days,” he promised.

Theo was desperate, tears forming in his eyes. “You have to come,” he pleads, hands grasping at his messenger bag. “Promise me.”

“We'll go to Brighton Beach. It's where all of the russians hang out,” the blonde hovered on his footing. “And we'll go to school togethe-”

“Potter.”

“And..” KJ was drawn to the screen, her heart hurting for the boy with the glasses. She knew Boris wasn't coming.

The boy in the red sweater came closer, his hands resting on the other boy's face. Their lips connected almost hastily, and Theo wasn't pulling away.

Mac was staring at her this time, watching and waiting for her to react. “Are you okay?” she muttered, a hand resting on her forearm.

“Good luck,” said the russian.

KJ closed her eyes, a single tear falling from her cheek as she turned to leave without a word.

**

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Mac presses, banging on the bathroom stall. “One minute you're all happy and fucking daisy, the next you're making me chase after you in the theatre.”

“Go away,” she sobs. “I don't want to talk to you.”

The paper girl looked around her, refusing to move from where she was standing. “I'm gonna break the door down, KJ.”

“I'm fine,” her cries didn't make her any less convincing.

“I'm not leaving.. okay, but only to grab our food.”

She knew that if she were to run, now would be the time, but Mac would track her down. Instead, she waits for the sound of silence and unlocks the stall.

It's not a very big bathroom, there's maybe two extra stalls including her own. Her reflection stands before her, mocking her with its puffy eyes and rosy cheeks.

She grabs some tissue from the dispenser, using it to wipe away any remaining tears and snot. It's not pretty.

“Okay, so some asshole must have taken my drink.” Mac states, using her back to open the swing door. “I don't even know what you could want with.. it.”

KJ was bare, her hair was frizzy and her eyes were dry.

“I don't think any of this is sanitary,” that made her laugh.

“Mac?” her lips quivered. “What's wrong with me?”

“I.. I'm not good at.. this,” she motioned between them. “You know, being vulnerable and shit.”

KJ's shoulders heaved, her breathing unsteady. “I don't wanna feel this way anymore. I don't..”

It was unspoken. Mac allowed herself to be vulnerable for KJ, engulfing her in a hug. “It's.. it's okay.”

Mac could never recall being hugged, how sad was that?

Growing up, the only comfort she could ever find was the comfort of turning eighteen, and that had been snatched away from her without a heartbeat.

Literally.

In four short years, there would be no Mackenzie Adeline Coyle. Dead at sixteen,and as for the cause of death?

Cerebral Lymphoma aka Brain Cancer.

It felt nice, the weight of another person clinging to her chest. She felt partially guilty, as if she'd set something off in the curly haired girl by allowing her to pick this film.

Maybe she missed Erin and Tiffany? Maybe she missed her old life, with her old friends, and her old family? Maybe she.. oh.

Karina J. Brandman was.. gay?

Chapter Text

The bathroom lights were dim, the ceiling light flickered, casting an orange contrast. “KJ?” the girl in the black t-shirt prompted, holding a comforting hand to her arm.

Dry tears stained the brown eyed girl's face. She brought a hand in release, intercepted by Mac who had passed her a tissue. “Thanks,” she said weakly.

Mac watched in slow motion as she wiped away any remaining tears, the faint sniffle sounds coming from her. It was an unfamiliar feeling, guilt.

“..The movie is probably over by now,” she stated, clearing her throat. “Jennifer is probably worrying where we are, and I know that little br-”

“Mac,” KJ warned. Now was most certainly not the time, everything had been ruined and Mac was concerned about some fourteen year old girl?

She let out an exasperated sigh, hands falling at her sides as she walked. Mac grabbed the door at the handle before it could close, allowing it to coincide with the wall.

The clouds in the sky had begun to turn, overshadowing them with their dark shadows.

Three questions formed in Mac Coyle's mind.

**

“Tiffany, you have to get off the computer at some point.” Erin whined, hovering over the black haired girl. “We can't all be rich and famous. The least you could do is let me enjoy the Internet.”

“I am not apologising for my career path,” Older Erin shouted from the kitchen. “And I'd appreciate it if you stopped calling me ‘Older Erin’.”

Younger Erin simply rolled her eyes, “It's my turn.”

The fellow paper girl smiled smugly, pulling the laptop further towards her. “Technically it's been your turn for.. how long have you had this laptop, Erin?”

“I.. um, ten years give or take?” the woman answered, brows furrowing as she laid her sights on the two younger girls. “Now, don't you g-”

Tiffany smirked, the laptop balanced on her thighs and she huffed. “..and you can't give me five more minutes, damn.”

“Oh my god,” Erin groaned. “We're not the same person.”

“Girls, please can we stop fighting?” Older Erin pleaded, attempting to settle the differences between them. She watched from across the room as her younger self pouted.

Not a cute look on a teenager. “Between you and Mac, I- it's not fair.”

“Don't blame me because Mac doesn't know how to share,” Tiffany argued, meeting her in the middle. Hands on her hips, she stood her ground.

Erin groaned, “It's almost like this is my house.”

“I thought you said that you weren't the same perso-”

“That doesn't mean that this isn't my house,” emphasis on the word ‘my’.

“How about we let Erin, um- me, have a turn?” she suggested, hovering over the curly haired girl.

Tiffany huffed, “Fine.”

**

Mac sat crossed legged on the bed, analysing the paper girl as she hurriedly packed what few things she'd brung with her. “Are we just not going to talk about it, then?” she questioned, hands on her knees.

“No,” KJ answered bluntly, refusing to look in her direction or give any further commentation.

“What are yo- that's not even yours,” she pointed out, resulting in the other girl throwing it at her blindly.

“Tak- take it.”

Mac scoffed, “You can't just leave me here.”

Silence fell short through the air, with no sign of retrieval. The cold shoulder was not deserving of her, making almost all benefits to better the situation of the brown eyed girl.

“KJ, you fucking idiot.” She slid herself from off the edge, blocking herself in-between KJ and her carry on luggage. “What the hell is your problem?”

Talk about deja vu.

Her raised brows and wide stance seem to have no longer lasting effect on the taller girl, growing thin with patience. “Yeah, okay. I should just let you run away like always, huh?”

KJ brought herself to her feet, looking past her as she made her swift exit. Mac simply scoffed, motioning with her hands before briefly pausing.

“Fuck!” she swore, slamming her door shut. “Fuck!”

“What is all this commotion about?” asked Jennifer, knocking on the door as she slowly entered. On the ground, she spotted a handful of clothes and made the connection. “I assume Karina won't be sleeping around tonight?”

The older woman attempted to give her some comfort, by finding herself in the space beside her. “You know, me and Dylan had our fair share of fights in the beginning. It's never easy when you're in love, but when you're with the right pers-”

“She's not my girlfriend.”

“She told me the same thing,” Jennifer replied as if that somehow changed the meaning of the word. “But, what do I know? I'm ancient.”

“She's not my girlfriend,” Mac met her eyes. “She's fucking crazy.”

“Right..” the woman pressed her mouth closed, using an arm to lift herself off the bed. Dusting her clothes down, she smiled warmly. “Dinner will be ready shortly.”

Confiding in her husband and father of her children, she was concerned for the young girl. “I think you should talk to her.”

“What?” asked the man, hands behind his head as he laid on his bed after a long day at work. “Is everything okay with Jo?”

“I think something deeper is going on and I don't think I know how to deal with it,” she vaguely answered. “Can you do that for me, darling?”

“I will talk to her during dinner,” Dylan agreed. “How much longer anyways, that pot roast smells amazing.”

He had always loved his wife's cooking, her sunday pot roasts were his long time favourite. The way she spoke so softly towards their daughters was something he'd longingly admired.

She had been his light at the end of a dark tunnel, the dark tunnel that had returned. During college, they'd met almost by accident, so spread out in his coursework that he'd entered room 201 instead of 102.

Law and Business, Jennifer's major.

Standing in the kitchen with her hands in the sink, she yelled out to her youngest. “Alice, can we set the dinner table?”

“What's this for?” she asked, her husband snaking his arms around her waist as he pressed a kiss into her neck. “Not that I'm not happy.”

He smiled, “I just wanted to thank you for this.”

“I make dinner every night, baby.”

“No, no. I wanted to thank you for taking in Jo without a second thought, accepting her as your own.”

The kind eyed woman matches his smiles, a small huff coming from her. Grabbing a hold of his hands, she sits on a chair to match his level. “She's a good kid deep down, she just.. she just needs some extra support and Karina..”

She shakes her head. “That girl just needs some friends that aren't her 39 year old cousin and his wife.”

“I will talk to her now, okay?” Dylan reassures, hands slowly dropping her hands. “Jo, can you come here?”

“Thank you,” Jennifer mouthed, exiting the kitchen.

Mac entered the room, “How are you doing?”

Her expression dropped instantly, seeing that look on her brother's face. “She told you, didn't she?”

“I know a lot has happened this past week, but I am here for you. I am not the same person I was thirty years ago,” Dylan swore. He felt remorseful, old memories of spite conjured up at the bane of her existence.

He reached out for her hand, snatching it away with haste. “It's not 1988 anymore, Mackenzie.”

“I'm not gay, Dylan.” Mac huffs into the silence, crossing her arms. “Do you remember that time back in fourth grade?”

She smiled sardonically, never reaching her eyes. “I was sitting over on the swings one time, probably the first time a girl my age actually interacted with me.”

The cold metal chain caressed her cheek.

“Well, that was until you and your friends came along..” the sudden pitiful look made her mad. “..and called her queer.”

She still remembers the pattern of the clouds, the harsh tone of her brother when he laughed so cruelly. “What are you, some kind of queer?” one of his friends had spat.

The young girl had jumped unnerved, almost in the same way that KJ had on hell night when faced with Wally Becker and his buddies.

“I.. I can't tell you why I did that but you know I would go back in time and change that if I could,” he explains, head hanging between his shoulders.

Mac had adored her older brother as a young child, idolising him even. They never had much money as a family, but he'd never allowed her to feel ashamed by the fact.

“I'm not queer, and even if I was I'd never tell you.”