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Chapter Text

"Could you keep it down?" I mutter absent-mindenly to my brother. Yasuo snaps his head in my direction.
"Dude, BRO, come ON, we GOTTA get in on this NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY TREND!!!"
I sigh loudly. "*sighs*". This isn't exactly the first time we've had this debate. He fucking sucks.
But alas, the bastard is my brother. I love him, and I despise him.

Anyway.

"Yooo, see these new... new, uhhh, PNG's OF MONKEYS!? so FUCKING hot."
He laughs maniacally, then sternly pouts, his eyebrows furrowing.
"I want to have sex with ALL these monkeys." he says and then bursts into tears.

I know what he means. We are forged from the same steel.
I rub my temples intensely, and proceed to ask him, gently, to stop talking.

He stares into my eyes, holding his breath, a deep sadness of indescribable profoundness is written plainly on in his face.
He opens his mouth, and for but a moment, he says nothing.
"...Brother. You have no idea for the concept of loss... Not as I do." Yasuo mutters, shaking his head ever so slightly.

I am at my limit. I stand up, gyrating my shoulders as I prepare to sprint from the situation. Better to lose my pride than my brother.
"No cure for fools!" I hear behind me, as I step into our garden, slowing down. I take a deep breath, and admire it. It really is a beautiful garden.
No thanks to Yasuo, of course, lazy bastard that he is. Barely even steps out his room anymore. The amount of time and money he has spent on... I shudder to think about it.

Anyway.

I sit down, now on the edge of our land, and as I stare out into the valley, I see the sun setting. A most beautiful intermingling of light and shadow.
I hear my mother's strong voice behind me, informing me that dinner will be late. Despite some unfortunate circumstances, I suppose life ain't that bad.

That was what I thought back then. But then everything changed. Honor, death, hangovers... It all matters no longer, as all I have come to know and hate has become but dust in the wind.
Make it quick... Make it quick... Why do I persist. There is only Pain. From Naruto. This is a joker joke.
And yet, I persevere. For my brother. For all my Ionian brothers and sisters. And for the future of my people, and for the future of all I held dear. I *will* have revenge.

And to do so, I must end *Her* life.

Chapter Text

The table is surrounded. The tention in the air is beyond palpaple.
Heh... Beyond. I love that word.

Anyway.

The big guy with the impressive beard and cigar folds, as does the small fella' with the scaly skin and floppy ears. Hmm, an odd choice, all things considered.
It's my turn. All eyes on me. I hear a chair scrape closer behind me, and realize that the room has gone quiet. I draw.
Chillwind Yeti? This card is useless. Unless...

I stand up, and slam my head on the table. No one flinches, as expected. I am not among amateurs. No matter, this gambit will work. It must.

"Alright, you fucking amateurs." I begin, blood streaming down my face. "You seem so confident, but believe me, I will have you all bended over and rimmed to Bandle City and back by the end of this round. You won't believe what I am about to play. Feast your eyes, on the power of the four-mana seven-seven!"
I play my Chillwind Yeti face down, the gambit so ludicrious that I think back on these past weeks, and how it lead me to this Bilgewatean backroom card tournament.

Yeah, Wow. what a crazy sequence of events.

Anyway.

Looking around at my opponents, I realize that most of us aren't actually from Bilgewater.
The gruffy man with the cigar is defintively from Bilgewater, but I'm not so sure about the scaly yordle, nor the inexplicably bidepal armadillo.

"Ok." The odd armadillo next to me utters, inexplicably and incalculably cool, his charm and confidence betrays no shortcommings. I feel bested already.
I realize, a bit too late, that all but that fat fucker and myself have folded. This is it.
I can't believe my potential redemption and salvation relies on this bastardization of God's creation's next gesticulation.
Surprisingly, he doesn't play anything. Instead, he opts to reveal a card he played face down at the start of the game.

Swamp!? But... There's no way!

I'm not the only player who can't conceal their reaction to the off-meta card.
The lil' fishy fucker with the funny floppy ears let out a subtle effeminate gasp, looking up at the bearded guy, and as his pupils dilate there is a moment where both of their eyes meet mine.
The armadillo wastes no time, and taps his land discarding all but one card in his hand. What!?
What the hell is he cooking up? But then I realize...

Professor Oak. It must be. What a genius combination. His deck truly has no useless cards.
Rich bitch-ass motherfucker. I fucking hate pay-to-win bullshit with a passion.
But okay! It's not too bad, not over yet. I can actually work with this. I just have to...
"Right." the armadillo abruptly declares, and inexplicably all-ins before ending his turn.

WHAT? There is absolutely no way he's risking everything on this one play. Impossible! It must be a bluff.
He truly is a master of the game. Incredible. I almost feint, but I refuse to budge. I'll have to lay it on thick...
I clear my throat loudly. "Hmm. How very interesting. You seem quite confident of yourself." I say, my grinning face displaying only smugness and confidence.
He doesn't move an inch. No muscle on his face contorts, nor contracts. My god...

"You overestimate yourself, little armadillo..." I begin, finally cracking his facade ever so slightly. A lucky shot in the dark!
He seems annoyed at my insinution. Good. I found a weak spot. An insecurity of the phallic varity that I can exploit.

I rapidly and repeately slam my knee into his crotch.
A futile action in of itself, I am aware. But this is the necessary first step to establish my [Sixth Form: Exalted Exodia of Divinity].
For little does he know, I have multiple +4's up my ass. This game is far from over. I end my turn.

Anyway.

Chapter Text

With my earnings and prestige from winning, I can finally financialize my odyssey to the South.
A perilous journey lies ahead of me, no doubt.

I speculate on the characters I will meet, and/or the people I must inevitably slay on my path for vengeance. I chuckle.
I wouldn't have it any other way. This is the Way of the Wind. Just like my brother...
I feel a pang of pain in my heart. I... No, I must stay strong. Worrying will only lead to ruin, as my mother always said. Another pang of pain. I have many to avenge.

I step onto the gangplank, as the somewhat dilapidated ship's deck enters my field of view.
I'm far from the only misfit to board the vessel. The price for admission, expecially for such a long trip, is suspiciously low. I suspect the captain to have ulterior motives, but I decide to worry little about that now. If conflict arises, I will ameliorate the situation. One way or another.

A pair of crows perch on the mast. They're silent, unmoving. An ill omen. I feel watched.
As the ship departs, I am suddenly overcome with homesickness. Despite my ambitions, I've never been farther from home than this.
I lean unto the railing. Bilgewater's harbour slowly fade in the mist. I hear nothing but the calm wind, and the ship settling. Silence, more or less.
It's something I've come to understand. The sun withdraws. The moon rises. The breeze is nice...

...

"Ionian. Ye seem familiar."

...?

A man is at my side, staring absentmindedly into the horizon as I do.
Huh? Where did he come from? I must've been beyond off-guard. A terrible mistake. He briefly glances up down at me. An intimidating side-eye.
"Hmm... That sheath of ye's? It looks mighty expensive. Ye be some kind a' samurai? Perhaps, specifically, the samurai that be gettin' his entire family murdered. That be ye?" He asks plainly, his head slightly turned, eyes boring into mine.
I can't quite control my expression. It's not the first time I've been confronted with this accusation. It probably won't be the last...

"Yes, I am Yone. Yes, my family is no more. No, I didn't cause their demise. I am on a quest to avenge them." I say stoically, as I side-eye the intimidating sailor back. He chuckles.
His eyes are on the ocean once again, as he nods subtletly. An incomprehensible glare from his eyes catches my attention, and I inspect his body more closely. I notice the way his arm is seemingly dislocated from his body, and the... very odd way his left hand seem to be made out of...

Dearest god! This is no ordinary, run-of-the-mill bucaneer! This is the legendary Esquire of Pirates, Gangplank!
But, that doesn't make any sense! That's just absurd! Is he the captain of this ship, or just a stowaway? Perhaps simply a traveller, like me?
It must be a... No no no. This is *too* odd to be a coincidence.

"Aye, I be here to kill ye, samurai." he simply utters.

Time stands still for a moment. I attempt to comprehend the macabre confession.
Ah. There must be a bounty on my head. I see. At least he is a man of Honor, I suppose. Unexpected of a pirate. Still for THE Gangplank to...

I quickly unsheath my blade, and leap away from him, making some distance before the fight commences.
He barely even reacts. Simply chuckling quietly, he steps away from the railing and I realize that I feel incredibly threatened.

I'm not sure what I was anticipating, but as the pirate puts his right hand into his pocket, I realize that I've already lost this battle.
I never bothered to learn Yasuo's Windwall technique. Alas, a master of the blade is no match for the Gun. I should've seen this coming. I'm too used to Ionian customs... Fucking bullshit.
He pulls his hand out of his pocket and grins. "PREPARE TO DIE, WINDFUCKER!" Gangplank says calmly.

I close my eyes, already aware that I am out of time, and I think of my family one last time. My mother's face, radiant, her hands pale, holding onto me as she sings me a shaky lullaby.
My father's stern expression, mirroring that of his father, and his father before him.
My brother, whom despite his many shortcomings and ridiculous ideas, still holds a special place deep in my heart.

But as I open my eyes, I am instead left in palpaple Awe.

The One Piece...! The One Piece is real!?
There is no doubt, for within Gangplank's hand lies the mythical artifact, long thought lost to time. Dumbfounded, I attempt to clear my head.
But the One Piece isn't a weapon, is it? In any case, I must act, quickly. I come to my senses, and act fast.

As Gangplank is already within the 3 meter range limit of my [Field], I swipe my blade towards the pirate.
Brain Unglaus's teachings benefits me spectacularly, as Gangplank immediately responds with a most unorthedox move.
The backflip I witness is mesmerising, but not particulaly effective, as my blade has already penetrated him between his ribs. A lethal hit.

I tear my blade from his flesh, and watch him, his mouth agape, hands clutched to his bleeding chest. He utters but one sentence.
"One last time... I be wishin' upon ye, ye blessed Piece of One. Rejuvenate me, and grant me the strength to live another day."
I fucked up. I gave him an opportunity that I should've seen coming. I quickly attempt to end it, but as my blade strikes his throat, it simply bounces off with a loud screech.
I lost my chance. The One Piece has given him unimaginable power.

Or so I thought.

He stands up, an odd expression on his lips. We both stare in awe as the artifact, seemingly done with Gangplank, suddenly bursts into thousands of iridescent shards of glittering crystals that quickly disperse into the darkness of the night.
I see. How wonderous.

Gangplank's posture can only be described as esoteric as he speaks. "It is done. Not that ye could understand, of course. But this is an indescribably joyous occasion!"
I watch as a single tear drops from his eye, into his mouth. He seems to choke on it.
"To hell with the bounty! Let us end this battle, friend." He coughs out, as he extends his wooden hand towards me.
What a baffling turn of events. I chuckle softly, sheathing my katana and shaking his hand, pondering upon the future.

"So, what now?" I ask him cautiously, curious as to his ambitions.
"Arrgh, what does it matter!? The future is as of yet uncharted, only the Now is relevant!" He shouts as he raises both of his arms into the air.
"Rock and Stone, brotha'! Let us not be worryin' 'bout what is to come, for I am hungry, and I know the ship's cook keeps his best sausages for himself in a cupboard in his kitchen. I must have some for meself. I could use someone like ye to assist me in this task. What do ye say, ye skilled samurai, do ye want to assist me in this worthless side-quest of mine? Surely ye, yerself must be hungering. But, remember, if we get caught, it is to be a rough keelhauling for the both of us, aye, as per the local customs, if not worse! Worth the risk? Certainly, I say, but ye must decide for yerself, great samurai of Untold Prowess. Do ye take this shot, relish in Life, or will ye perish like a dog? Death comes for us all regardless one could argue, but choose anyway!"

Sensory overload aside, earning the trust of Gangplank would be most a fruitful endeveour to be sure. I ponder upon potential unfortunate consequences of agreeing, but see none of note.
"Fair deal, Gangplank, I'll help you gather these sausages that you desire, on one condition. Although, first I must ask you; What are your plans once we get off this vessel?"

Gangplank puts his hands on his hips and smiles slightly, nodding once. "Well, that depends entirely on your condition, I suspect."
Smart man. I return the smile. "If you so choose, I'd greatly appreciate your help on my own quest, following the success of your own."

"But of course! Was that not implicit? Dense little samurai! Foolish ye are not, but perhaps not as shrewd as ye ought to be."
He laughs a deep, bellowing laugh. "I'm with you. Now, let's go rummage around and plunder that kitchen!"

Comrademanship, speaking truth to power, actions of rightousness, victimless crime and an appreciation for life itself.
These were some of the lessons I was humbled with in the coming days on this great vessel. Gangplank turned out to be a truly valorous and audacious man, his demeanor and way of life so different from my own, yet we understood each other perfectly. Although I notice his bouts of... intense passion, sometimes bordering on lunacy, I have placed my trust in this man, for now.

Even so, alas, I must not forget; Hunger is not passion. Gangplank does not love adventure any more than one dying of thirst loves a drink of water.
And despite eveything else that will transpire throughout my jouney, this I would come to understand as the One Piece's greatest warning.

Anyway.

Chapter Text

Thunder is above us. The night is far from silent. The ship creaks and shifts in the most unsettling ways.
I realize too late that I need to take a shit. My pants are filled to the brim within seconds as I attempt stand up, my knees heavy with oozing brown liquid seeping down my royal sandals. The moment I take a step unto the decks to find the latrines, I see a fantastic lightning strike the crow's nest. It takes little time for the whole ship to be lit on fire. It is immediate pandemonium as the ship's crew get into action. Screams and commands are thrown left and right, and I see my dear friend emerge from the chaos.

"Can't say I expected this!" The smelly bucaneer exclaims as he starts to sniff my ass. "Did ye shit ye'r pants!? Aha! A most brave li'l samurai ye be. I expected nothing less!" He proclaims proudly, and I notice the shit smeared pants he himself are wearing. We are indeed cut from the same cloth.

"Arrrgh, It seems to me that our great vessel is going under. What do ye make of this, samurai?" Gangplank asks of me, with a subtle smirk on his lips.
I turn to look in awe as the mast of the ship falls into the ocean, and I know we'll be capsized before long.
I turn my attention to the fearless pirate and acknowledge him. "Gangplank. I've never been on a ship before. You have, many times. What do we do? Are we done for?"
Gangplank puts his hand on my shoulder. He stares longingly into the horizon.

"We are absolutely cooked, friend." He affirms.

I sigh. With no land in sight it seems like my journey will be cut short. Does it truly end here? Thousands of times I've imagined the ways I would die. Stabbed in the back, on the battlefield, maybe a drink too much, but I always thought death would come for me after I'd avenged my family.

"But even so, ye shouldn't worry too much, matey. The One Piece did not intend for us to fall here. I have faith - and, if ye do too - deliverance will come." Gangplank tells me with his hand still on my shoulder. I look at him, and he looks at me. The homoeroticy is truly sublime, and there is no doubt in his eyes. He does not intend to die here. I nod solemnly, and so I too place my faith in the One Piece's final blessing. Gangplank gestures starboard, and ushes me towards the railing of the great burning vessel.

And then I see it! As mayhem and havoc wreaks, and the wails of the damned surround us, I notice that by some miracle a lifeboat tied to the ship has been untouched by both fire and man. It's just kinda hanging there. One can only describe unto it... Flaccidity. It is a most foul quality, and thus the lifeboat is surely cursed. But alas, it is the only way. Gangplank and I jump overboard, right unto it, and its ropes unhinge. Gangplank makes sure to let out a loud "WHOOOOOO YEAAAH BABY, THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR, THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, WOOOO-" right before we plummet unto the dark, unruly waves. Gangplank takes hold of the oars, much like I would wish he would hold unto me, and pulls like a madman! The speed! The exhilaration! It does not take long for the great ship we were just on to fade beyond the horizon, as it finally crumbles into the ocean. Marvelous. Extraordinary. Truly sublime. Gangplank lets out a satisfied sigh, as he lets go of the oars. He looks up. Oh, the stars. It is a new moon, and there are few things more beautiful than that.

"So, uh... What now?" I ask Gangplank, now that reality is setting in. We are in the middle of the ocean, with nothing in sight. Gangplank cracks his neck, and speaks. "Ion know vro." His eloquence astounds me. "I figure we'll hit land at some point. Let the wind guide us. That is something you are most familiar with, is it not little samurai?" I blush scarlet red, but compose myself. "You are absolutely right, my most articulate friend. The wind does as I command..." I stammer off. This reminds me too much of my... Dammit! Why does it still hurt so much to think about him, to think about them? Its been years since they...

"No, I see. I'm sorry, Yone." Gangplank mutters. It is the first time he's spoken my name. I would feel giddy, but in reality I feel only sorrow. I must face this. No more feeling bad about myself. Vengeance will be mine, even if it kills me. "Gangplank. I am most resolute in my task, my skill and my honor. But... It still pains so much to think about them. To think about..." I stop talking. I realize, more deeply now, that I've been going about this all wrong. Vengeance will be sweet, oh most definitively, but the truth is that I know very little about the one... the one who...

I'm tired. "Gangplank, I want to thank you. For trusting me. For giving up, uh, trying to kill me for the bounty on my head. There are few who believe the truth, the fact that I was not the one who murdered my... my family."

Gangplank looks at me solemnly. "Indeed. Were it not for the One Piece even I would've been fooled. The defamation against you have proved quite convincing. So, if I may ask... Who did kill your family, Yone?" And as he asks that question, my rage resurfaces. My hatred. My wrath will be absolute. I stare, deep into Gangplank hazel brown eyes, and mutter the name of the one killed EVERYONE I held dear. The creature of PURE DARKNESS that I WILL DECIMATE.

"Her name is-"

"LOOK OUT!" Gangplank screams suddenly, and as he does I could've swore the very waters were about to spew fire. But the waters are still. It is quiet. I look around, wildy, trying to locate the danger, but I see none. "What?" I ask exasperated. "What am I looking out for?" Gankplank's eyes are full of panic as he suddenly tries to pull out his gun. He seems to struggle with the buckle. "Gangplank! What's happening? TALK TO ME!"

He succedes at pulling out his gun, and fires it into the air. The sudden transition from complete quietness to gunfire is startling. I stare at Gankplank, as his eyes transition into wonder. A seagull plummets into our lifeboat. He smiles widely. "D'ya know what this means lass? We are close to land! How joyuous." He exclaims, and before I can respond with anything he breaks out in song. "Oh, there once was a ship that put to sea, the name of that ship was the Billy of Tea, the winds blew up, her bow dipped down, blow, my bully boys, blow." There's a short pause as he takes a large meaty bite out of the seagull. "Soon may the Wellerman come to bring us sugar and tea and rum, one day, when the tonguin' is done, we'll take our leave and go." His eyes are crazed and his mouth filled with blood. "She had not been two weeks from shore, when down on her, a right whale bore, the Captain called all hands and swore, he'd take that whale in tow" He takes another bite of the seagull. "Soon may the Wellerman come, to bring us sugar and tea and rum, one day, when the tonguin' is done, we'll take our leave and go."

He doesn't seem to continue. He throws the bloody remains of the seagull overboard. I cannot even think. His crazed grimace turns from insane to concerned in an instant. He hits me playfully - painfully - in the chest. "It's just random humor, lad. Nothin' to it. When does the walrus bacon 'n all that, yea'?. Just bloody funny."

Deafening silence.

I was right. This boat truly is cursed.