Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Thundercracker felt his body activate, energy running through this frame's circuits for the first time. 

What happened? 

… Oh. Right.

Starscream.

Before he can begin to process what his trinemate did to him, Thundercracker first started to register the world around him, he soon realized Megatron was the one disconnecting the wires attached to his body and helping him up from the berth he was laying on. “Welcome back, Thundercracker. I see that the body I made you is in proper working order.”  

His processor suddenly jettisoned itself into a time millions of years ago. Back when he first joined the Decepticons. He broke free from Megatron's hold, the room still spinning and it was dark, but light emanating from glowing monitors still allowed him to see the ground under his thrusters, it was a distinct, orange color.

He leaned against the wall to steady himself.

“Wha- Where-” 

“We are in the Ark. I revived you with an upgraded body, don't let Starscream destroy this one too.” 

Thundercracker gritted his denta, and slammed his fist into the orange wall. His servos were reinforced but fury overrode any acknowledgment of this. 

“He's still here?! After everything?! He blasted me and Skywarp into oblivion-”  Thundercrackers eyes widened in realization. His anger once again interrupted by conflicting thoughts of his trine members, “Skywarp! Where is he!?” 

Megatron stood there, his figure shrouded in shadows of the ruined ark, his face was barely visible but it was passive. “Calm down, he will be revived momentarily. I had plotted for several years gathering all of the necessary materials needed to build and upgrade your frame.” 

Megatron walked over to a glass chamber filled with liquid. Inside the clouded water was another seeker that looked like him, but with black and purple metal. “And thanks to me, you and Skywarp will once again be able to battle in the war.” 

Thundercrackers engines felt like it had stopped, haven't they done this all before? 

Waking up in the Ark, following Megatron and Starscream, fighting in a war with no point. Why has he stayed? He remembered long ago where Megatron had promised him a purpose. Was it all to die at Starscreams and Megatrons struggle for power? Starscream may have been the one who destroyed him but Megatron should have executed that traitorous drone centuries ago! 

The attempted assassinations wasn't enough, the constant threats and insults wasn't enough, hurting other Decepticons wasn't enough, killing him and Skywarp wasn't enough. Until what end will it be? Even death was not the final straw for Megatron. 

“And what? Be another stepping stone in Starscreams schemes to overthrow you? Watch as he begs for mercy that you always give him?!” Thundercracker has never raised his voice at the commanding officer until now, whether this courage was from the upgrades, from the realization that Megatron would allow it, or from Thundercrackers own bubbling feelings finally boiling over, it didn't matter. 

A small, mocking laugh came from the dark corner of the room. Thundercracker hadn't noticed this third figure before since they were small and collapsed on the ground. He first saw the blue optics they had, then their white body.

It was Ratchet. The Autobot Chief Medical Officer, who was eager to pay back some of the bullying that Megatron had inflicted on him. 

“Thats exactly what happened. When we first awoke, Starscream was the first to show up, begging and pleading for food and forgiveness. And when Starscreams died after his underbase powered rampage, guess who forced me to bring him back immediately-”

“That is enough Ratchet, you're going back into my room!”

Megatron roughly picked up the medic, who let out a little honk noise and was limp like a pile of scrap metal in Megatron's arms. Thundercracker took this moment to just take in everything that had happened. 

He was blown up by Starscream, who soon died after, and Megatron had chosen to revive Starscream over him or Skywarp? Thundercracker checked his internal clocks, it's been years since he was last active. He sank to his knees, his thoughts consuming him more than the darkness of the ruined Ark.

Megatron had returned with no sassy CMO to interrupt the talk with his revived warrior. “Don't mind him, he's just being troublesome” Megatron waved him off. “For the past several years, I've been thinking about future goals, our purpose. You remember our conversation we had back at the very start Thundercracker?” 

Thundercracker did. It was so long ago and yet it stuck to him like sins of a past life. 

“Fighting has always been for an end. To conflict. To dominate. To pride. But without fighting, are those ends even worth it? With victory, what is left for us? You have always wanted a goal. But what will you do once you achieve it? To prove that you are superior is a never-ending task, and I want you to continue to help me with this cause.” Megatron outstretched a servo to help him up, a soft smile that could barely be seen under his mask of darkness. 

Thundercracker trembled, for a moment he was too frozen to even flinch away from the hand, it's happening again. Him getting lured in by Megatron. But the wound he still had from Starscream prevented him from chasing after the bait. “Help you? Help with what!  All I've done was be a prop for you and Starscreams games! 

You talk about how if he steps out of line you will finally deactivate him, but you've always sent me and Skywarp to make him face his crimes, and then when you are faced with the possibility that the fragger will finally end, you continue to give him mercy that you've never spared any of us by letting him persist! I've fought and fought, fleshies, Autobots, none of them have been a worse enemy than Starscream.” Thundercracker spat out, lacing his words all of the bitterness that had fermented in his spark.

Megatron looked to the doorway, his optics frighteningly genuine. “He's changed.” 

An ugly wheeze left Thundercrackers vocalizer. “He's CHANGED? Bots like him don't change! Rocks erode, metal rusts, organics decay, Starscream can die a million deaths and he will come back the same! Is continuing this fighting really the purpose or is fighting all you know?!” 

Thundercracker shot up from the ground and grabbed at Megatron's chestplates, looking up at his face for an answer that Thundercracker could comprehend, but he was unmoved by his outburst. Megatron patted the blue seekers shoulders with his servos and moved up his arms to remove the hands reaching for him and hold them like he was making a vow.

“I had hoped that you and him would come to an agreement, you don't have to like him, but a skirmish with our true enemies will let you two set aside your differences. One day, everything will be back to how it's always been.” 

Thundercracker yanked his wrists away, “it can never be like that again Megatron! I can't do this anymore. I-!” 

Underneath all of the rage, the betrayal, Thundercracker felt something emerge that he's been holding down since the war started: Shame.

A suffocating feeling of embarrassment that he could no longer avoid. Perhaps he would have rather stayed dead rather than confront himself that he had wasted an entire lifetime on a cause that he couldn't fully believe in. Century after century he had given his life to the Decepticons, adamantly telling himself that this is what he was meant to do, he was in too deep to turn back. If he had stopped anytime, then his entire purpose would have been meaningless, that all of the pain and misery he endured was all for nothing. No reward at the end, no heaven to enter, no God to save him.

Thundercracker had always put on a mask, someone who was unfazed by the grueling tasks of being a Decepticon, thinking that if he had just pushed far enough he would eventually be free, but all he was doing was tangling himself up in the net, too stubborn to realize he was suffocating himself in guilt and sin. 

What a cruel thought that Thundercracker cannot bear. Starscream was an asshole. But bold enough to not be affected by any of the shackles from fear and guilt. While Thundercracker had to suffer through without the same immunities. What a fool he is! His entire life, a joke where he is only a footnote for another comedian!

He had to get out of this cursed ship. He bolted out of the doorway into the hallways of the Ark. They were just as dark and hard to navigate as the room he awoke in, not caring about running into the blasted orange interior he searched desperately for any light, any sky he can escape too. He didn't even have his flamethrowers to try and melt through the dark ship. Eventually, through his frenzied mind he heard a door open, and the light blinded the optics of this frame that had never been touched by it.

Megatron stood next to the exit. The first time Thundercracker could see him clearly. “Go test out your new body and regain your composure. When you return, we will be waiting.” 

Thundercracker activated his thrusters and transformed into the clear blue sky. Megatron was confident that he would return, that was the same confidence Thundercracker had always leaned on to guide him. Fighting was all they wanted, fighting was all they knew. There is nothing more, for what else is there?

As Thundercracker fled further away, he slowed down. The emotions dying down to a familiar numbness as he observed the place that he had ended up, it was a town on a lake, the boats sailing on the water were small enough for him to crush beneath his pedes. 

Perhaps Megatron was right after all. A fight was a purpose, to live with a purpose neverending is the only choice for beings with lives as long as theirs. ‘Unlike humans, which only have a pathetic century if they're lucky to-’  His thoughts were interrupted by projectiles shooting past him. ‘Slag! I don't have my flamethrowers to fight back!’

Thundercracker dived to avoid the shots fired at him, his pursuer was Jetfire, who was also alive? Thundercracker thought that he was destroyed by Starscream along with the rest of the aerialbots! 

Unarmed and unable to shake Jetfire off, Thundercracker would have to use a fleshy to stop the attacks, luckily there were plenty nearby. He transformed, scooping up one of the tiny boats in his servos and stood in the lake. The superjet transformed into his towering robot form and hovered over the water. 

“Thundercracker! Drop the humans and nothing bad will happen to you!” Jetfire declared under his mask.

Thundercracker put one of his arms up, the other still holding the boat with the terrified fleshies, to show that he had no guns on him. “I don't know, you were quite eager to shoot an unarmed mech!”

Jetfire relented and transformed his guns away ‘this guy is just showing off!’ Thundercracker scoffed as he put the boat back onto the surface of the water. As it sped away, Jetfire had moved closer to him and had offered out a servo, the sun shone behind the white and red jet, giving him a heroic halo as Thundercracker stood in his shadow. The blue seeker leaned away in disgust, 

“I don't want your help”

“I’m not helping you. You are already damaging the fragile ecosystem at the bottom of this lake by standing in it. If you take off with your thrusters or walk you will harm it more, just comply and work with me, it's for your best interest.”

Thundercracker grumbled and took his hands. 

Chapter Text

Jetfire lifted Thundercracker from the lake, protecting his precious ‘ecosystem’. Well, Thundercracker wasn't going to argue with a mech that can outfly and outgun him. 

They rose above the water but Thundercracker still hadn't activated his thrusters, just dangling in Jetfire's hold. 

“You can fly now, the ecosystem isn't that fragile.” 

“...I’m low on fuel.” Thundercracker admitted.

He had not realized that his tanks were not at full capacity when he awoke nor when he was flying away from the Ark in his hastiness. The aerial dog fight hadn't helped his already low fuel and almost completely drained him. Which means he was completely at the mercy of this Autobot, who was literally handholding him, how humiliating! 

Jetfire, suspicious, raised an optic, “No weapons, no fuel, no backup, its like you were just activated today.”

Well, the large jet wasn't wrong. “Yes. I’ve been active for several hours.”

Jetfire paused in midair, “What? That's impossible, the Creation Matrix should have been destroyed with Unicron… most likely.” 

It was Thundercracker's turn to be shocked, mouth agape. Unicron? Destroyed? What happened while he was dead?!

Jetfire took this moment to lift him up and steady him by wrapping an arm around his waist, Thundercracker instinctively held on by grabbing his shoulders. While this was more comfortable than dangling in the air, it was more humiliating than it already was! Thundercracker hoped that none of those fleshies had taken pictures of this, if Skywarp ever got a wind of this he would never let him live this down! 

…If he was activated. 

Thundercracker hadn't tried out his sonic boom yet, he was still getting the hang of his usual aerial maneuvers, but would Skywarp be able to warp? How would Megatron, even with Ratchet's help, be able to restore that?! If he can't warp then would Megatron not bring him back at all? He obviously does not value loyalty, which is the most Skywarp can offer to Megatron if not for his teleportation. And if Megatron could recreate teleportation, then who's to say that Megatron will give the teleportation to Starscream instead and leave Skywarp to rot?!

Thundercracker was roused from his worries when Jetfire landed. ‘Enough about Skywarp for now, I have my own situation to deal with,’ he thought . The superjet transformed his battle mask off to observe the blue seeker better, Thundercracker had never gotten the chance to look at his face up close like this, Shockwave did a good job designing it if he had kept it the same as before…

Jetfire had changed the frame that was built by Shockwave since he last saw him, probably because he got blown up by Starscream. This new frame was still recognizable as Jetfire though, maybe if the Autobots had more air units he wouldn't stand out as much. If the Autobots had more air units maybe they might have won the war by now.

Thundercracker can hear Jetfire muttering, the Autobot might have sniffed him at some point. Weird. “Hmm, you do look a little different from the picture of Thundercracker in the files… you don't even have insignias painted on yet” 

Did this newbuild think that he was also a newbuild?! Sure, he was getting used to this frame, he didn't even get a good look at it yet, but his flying abilities were better than that! Insulted, Thundercracker was going to correct the younger jet before he realized that this was the opportunity he was waiting for. A chance to experience something different! 

All this questioning of the Decepticon cause had him forgetting about the Autobots. 

He hated the Autobots, didn't he? If he couldn't answer to what he wanted, then maybe knowing what he doesn't want would give him the answer he was so desperately searching for.

Thundercracker knew Megatron would call him a traitor for this, but so is Starscream and nothing had changed. Plus, if he does decide that the Decepticons were truly the answer he wanted, then it would be nice to not deal with those slaggin bots for a while, they're probably making out right now instead of wondering where he was.

However, Thundercracker did not know if Jetfire truly thought he was an innocent bot with a clean slate, so he would have to play into the role while not confirming it directly. 

Pulling this off would make it easier for the Autobot to trust him; he was still a Decepticon after all, deceiving is in their name. 

“So. Who are you?”

Jetfire was helping the humans by doing tests on the invasive species in their lake. He suddenly noticed a jet incoming at speeds too fast to be human controlled, and any Autobot aircraft would have reported to him if they were in the area. Situation being too suspicious to ignore, Jetfire transformed and gave chase. 

As he got closer he realized that this was a seeker, they were a bright blue, not Starscream. Was this Thundercracker? He was destroyed years ago, but bots coming back from the dead was not an impossibility. And with no one knowing where the Matrix is, (the reports say that Optimus Prime used it to destroy Unicron) there was no other way for more transformers to be made...

The jet he was trailing had no insignias, However, the frame having elements of Shockwaves design and no one in the cockpit of the jet was enough proof for Jetfire to engage.

The blue seeker was amicable to his demands. He was gentle with the humans he held hostage. He even stood still so as to not damage the lake bottom more than he has. Certainly traits that a Decepticon doesn't align with, how strange. The mech was willing to hold humans hostage in the first place to save his own skin, but was it only because he had no weapons and was low on fuel? 

As Jetfire flew them to the shore of the lake, the seeker in his arms seemed to be lost in thought, Jetfire started to feel a small twang of guilt. He should have tried a less violent approach. But this was a first! The only other Decepticon he can think of that wasn't a direct danger to living beings was… himself. 

Oh. 

Maybe he can steer this mech away from the Decepticons before it's too late, just like he did when he joined the Autobots. The circumstances of his arrival were suspicious, was what the logical parts of his processor were telling him, but there was a tiny flame of hope in his spark that there might be another bot like him.

Still holding onto the seeker to prevent him from getting away, Jetfire took a closer look at the jet in his arms. His face was similar to Starscream, it wasn't as sharp with a more boxy shape and his faceplates having a lighter hue, the infuriating smirk that was ever present on Starscream's face was nowhere to be seen too. Jetfire brought up the files on Thundercracker before his death, he had never gotten the chance to look at him too closely, out of the elite trine, he had fought Thundercracker the least. He still remembered when Thundercracker had shot him down when he was trying to help Bumblebee. There were changes to his helm but it was harder to tell for his face if there were any at all. 

The seekers whole frame was brand new, so fresh that he can smell it. That it made sense for the blue jet to only be active for several hours. Jetfire was making these notes to himself when the seeker asked about who he was. 

Whoops. Jetfire had stopped the habit of announcing his name when he arrived once he had gained more notoriety. But if the blue jet didn't know who he was, did that mean that this seeker wasn't Thundercracker?

“I am the Autobot air commander, Jetfire! And what is your designation?” Jetfires decided to just opt for the usual Autobot friendliness to try and establish a better relationship from the attack. His processors were still giving him warnings about the suspicious jet. But maybe, the Decepticons had run out of colors to give to their seekers and are now reusing them?

The blue jet thought about it for a moment.

…

Slag, he cant choose!

“I don't remember.”

Thundercracker figured to just use the old ‘let the other person lie to themselves for him, and go along with whatever they had thought.’ strategy.

The two jets stared at each other, both analyzing their next move. A part of Jetfire still was saying that this seeker was suspicious and lying, but a much stronger part of him wanted to believe that this seeker was a Decepticon that has lost their memories, and has the ability to change. Stranger things have happened then amnesia.

The entire time the pair were so preoccupied by their mind games, neither noticed that the larger jet still held the smaller by the waist and the smaller jet still holding the largers’ shoulders. It was only when Thundercracker spotted humans taking photos, like he had feared, from the corner of his vision did his face start to flush and he started to kick, “Can you let me down now?!”.

“Arent you're low on fuel?” Jetfire, unphased by this entire scene, had decided it was for the best to not introduce the seeker to the Autobots yet. He remembered Bumblebee was a helpful and friendly face when he was first getting settled down with the Autobots. He would have to call him to meet up, and hopefully, they will be able to convince this seeker that the Autobots were better to stay with.  “I’ll take you back to my base and give you some.” He smiled. 

Thundercracker gave up trying to escape, and looked away from the smiling Autobot, face still tinted pink. Oh well, who cares what those fleshies think! He would just outlive them. 

Fleshies aside, it looks like Thundercracker didn't have a choice in the matter if he wanted to go with the Autobot air commander or not. He was an interesting bot at least, and he would be getting free energon. It was better than having to confront Starscream… so far.

The base ended up being so close by, Thundercracker convinced Jetfire to let him walk there. Jetfire was the one mostly filling up the silence by talking about his current research. Thundercracker did follow on what he was saying much to his chagrin. It was a mystery why a bot like Jetfire was so interested on a topic as insignificant as the spawning cycles of fish, there was clearly more to life than to be concerned about beings that can't even walk on land. Or rot once they need to reproduce. Why did 'Salmon' have to move from big water, to small water, specifically, the small water where THEY spawned to create more spawn? This entire planet is mostly H2O! Jetfire seemed to enjoy this contrived process for some reason. Thundercracker should start to study him. 

When the pair got to the base, it was more like a large tent with some lab machines, a berth, and a fridge. With both of their sizes, the inside was pretty crowded. Jetfire gestured for Thundercracker to sit on the berth as he produced a cube to hand him, which the seeker sat and downed eagerly. As he did so Jetfire had grabbed a seat from outside the tent so he can sit across from Thundercracker. “That's all I can give you for now, I didn't expect to have visitors but I’ll send for some more soon. Now, I have some questions.”

Thundercracker finished the cube and placed it on a nightstand. “Sure.”

Jetfire leaned back and crossed his arms. He wasn't the best bot to be doing questioning, he knows that. Might as well be as direct as possible, “Tell me everything that happened today. From the moment you were activated.”

Thundercracker thought that wasn't a question, but if he wanted nothing specific then that's fine by him. “I woke up in the dark, Megatron was there. I wanted to get out. I got out. I ended up here.”

Jetfire knows that there was stuff that the Seeker was holding from him, which is to be expected, although not looking promising. “Ok, did Megatron create you?”

What a horrific thought, Thundercracker did his best to not let any disgust show. “He was the first thing I saw when I woke up.”

The scientist was worried to say the least. Megatron and Starscream had appeared together a while ago. Who knows what they were experimenting with. Could they have… No, it wasn't possible. It would be a horrific irony if the bots responsible for so many deaths, were the ones that finally discovered how to make life without the matrix. 

He noticed the blue seeker was looking at one of the machines when he decided to test a suspicion he had at the lake. 

“Thundercracker!”

The seeker snapped his head and looked at him on instinct. 

“So that IS your designation” Jetfire concluded. 

“Thundercracker was what you and Megatron called me. I'm assuming thats my name then.” Thundercracker kept his cool.

Jetfire sighed. He is one of the most brilliant scientists on earth, and he's smart enough to know this. Although, for all of his knowledge, there will always be parts of this world that Jetfire can never study. It comes easy for him to follow the path of science and logic. However, he will always be an outcast to the cybertronians no matter how much they try to make him feel welcome.

He was created on earth, he had so much less experience then them compared to their millions of years. The aerial bots were the closest group in the Autobots that he can relate to, but their links as combiners was also something he could never understand. And with the Matrix gone, there probably won't be more terrains. He'd thought he had come to peace with this.

Maybe this newfound yearning for a connection he thought he could never have was enough to make him stray from the path. 

The path being his processor screaming at him to not trust this Decepticon. But isn't this what bots like Ironhide and Wheeljack had thought about him at first? 

It was easy to call someone a fool for ignoring these signs. Jetfire has been a fool all day today. And he has decided that he will be a fool until Thundercracker reveals any malicious intent. 

Was Thundercracker a terrain like him? No, but if this planet is all he knows, then perhaps the two of them are the only ones that can truly understand each other. They would be two ex-Decepticon jets if he can get through to Thundercracker, so Jetfire can spare a benefit of doubt. 

“Ok, Thundercracker, I believe you.”