Chapter Text

C.R.A.M

Chap 1: First Ship/Intro

warnings:The “girl” that you will see mentioned is trans. They have identified as a man since 1812. So technically, doomed/toxic Yaoi. Also, it is important to realize that neither of them speaks the other’s language, thus I had to use google translate.

13 was walking through the forest again, using the tactics the natives had taught her to conceal herself. She was in the southern area of the 13 Colonies. At least, she thinks she is. She’s not entirely sure where tf she is. And her father would kill her if he found out she had left and went exploring.

“Hah!”

13 stopped in her tracks. Who was that? She decided to climb a tree to get a better

view without being spotted.

In the distance there was a boy practicing his sword fighting with a test dummy. He was kinda good. Was 13 good? Uh… if she even thought about a sword she would be hunged and accused of being a witch so… No.

The boy stopped practicing and sat down panting. He reminded 13 of someone, she was trying to put her finger on it when she noticed he was gone.

Shit.

“Oye, ¿qué haces ahí arriba? (Hey, watcha doing up there?)”

The boy was at the bottom of the tree now.

“W-what..?” 13 sucked in her breath. She was cooked. She had been found.

“¡Baja! (Come down)” The boy put his hands to his mouth and shouted so 13 could hear him.

All 13 could do was look down at this boy confused by what is the actual fuck he was saying.

The boy gestured for her to come down.

13 did not come down.

The boy sighed and began to climb the tree. Well, not climb. More or less drag himself up, or try to at least. That’s what 13 thought he was doing. 

After far too many failed attempts the boy fell down from a couple of feet up the tree. It shouldn’t have been too bad, but the boy fell down from an awkward position and something snapped that wasn’t a plant. The boy sat with his back against the tree, clutching his left leg grimacing.

13 came down. 

The boy looked up from his swelling leg.

“¿Eres una chica? (You’re a girl?)”

13 looked at him strangely. She wasn’t wearing much, infact, if she was seen wearing this she would’ve been punished severely. All she had on was a blouse and some trousers. You can’t climb a tree in a dress after all. She had put her glasses into her bag, so the boy's figure was quite blurry. 

“I-I don’t know what you’re saying, b-but can I uhmm.. Can I look at your leg?” 

The boy didn’t respond, so 13 showing him her bag with the medical symbol on it then gestured to his leg. The boy removed his hands from his leg and let 13 examine it after she put her glasses back on.

“U-uh yeah. It's broken.” 13 said, sitting back onto her hind legs.

“Tienes bonitos ojos. (You have pretty eyes.)” The boy said.

“Wh-what?”

“Tu ojos. Ellas son bonitas. (Your eyes. They are pretty.)”

13 stared at him for a long moment. “I-is anyone going to come- actually, you can’t answer that it’s english.”  13 grabbed a stick and drew into the ground a crappy stick figured labled “Family” looking surprised at a different stick figure with a bent leg leaning against a tree. She looked back at the boy. The boy looked at the drawing, took the stick and changed “Family” to “Familia”.

“Well?”

The boy looked back at 13 and nodded.

“Good, I need to get home now.” 13 turned away sharply and left back the way she came.

Chapter Text

Chap 2: Names

At home, 13 decided to question the maids more about the other families. The maid showed her 4 scrolls. One had the British family (just her and her dad), another had the French family (Her mother, brother, and the other territory named Louisiana Territory), the third had the Spanish family. This one had several colonies. But 13 was able to recognize the boy she had seen and inquired the maid about it. The fourth had shown the Portuguese family featuring only 1 son in South America.

“Ah yes, that is New Spain.”

“That’s his name?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think he knows English?”

“Most definitely not.”

“Could I take lessons for Spanish?”

“We-” The maid paused. “Why would you need to know Spanish?”

“To make deals and handle declarations and whatnot.” 13 lied. 13 was always good at lying.

“We can get you lessons if that’s what you want.”

“I want that.”

“As you wish.” And with that, the maid left the room and 13 went to sleep. Now I am going to go to sleep because it is 12:30 am rn. Goodnight.

The next morning 13 had woken up bright and early. It was a terrible morning. Quite terrible indeed. Cloudy clouds threatened rain, but in the distance you could see that the sun was going to push through. What a shame.

13 had to move quickly or else she’ll miss her time to be within her fathers empowering presence.

She quickly dressed up, making sure to look like the king's perfect princess (it was either that, or rags). 

After preparing herself, 13 made her way down the stairs into the dining hall.

It was massive (wanna know what else is massive? LOW TAPERRRRR FADEEEEE). 

“You’re here.” Her father said.

“I am.”

Her father turned and walked off, “The lessons you asked for have been taken care of. Make sure you do good with them.”

No I love you, no goodbyes. Those were for the weak, her father had told her.

13 sighed, that’s all she was gonna get out of him that wouldn’t be spoken in a disappointed manner.

Best get to learning. Wouldn’t want all of that time to go to waste. 13 walked to the study where the tutor was waiting for her and started the lesson.

Ok, time skip bc I’m lazy and don’t wanna go through all of that 😑.

So like, a year or smth later.

If I were a mysterious Spanish boy, where would I be? 13 was scouring through the woods. Probably practicing with the sword again. How did I even get to that spot?

Look, the forests are big, but at some point it starts becoming obvious where she is. 13 had marked the trees last time she passed by, but it had been a while. Most had already been healed. Her shit vision didn’t help much either.

Could that be it? No. That’s a bug. Either I’m getting farther or my eyesight is getting worse.

At last she tripped over a fat root and began to recognize her surroundings.

Neither, I was just going insane.

13 didn’t hear any movement yet, but maybe it was because she wasn’t close enough. A few feet away, the tree she had climbed stayed still because it’s a plant and plants don’t move a lot in short periods of time.

But the leaves did rustle. 

That means it is either a squirrel or sudden death.

13 climbed the tree closest to her and stalked towards the other one.

In it she saw… nothing because she can’t see shit without her glasses and forgot to put them on.

However, there was a blur of white in the tree. So not an animal. Not exactly sudden death either though.

The urge to call out to the figure pounded in her throat to let it out, but that would be a dumb descision. 13 is not that dumb. 

Instead, she reached into her bag and put her glasses on so she could see. Now, she could tell clearly that the boy in the tree was New Spain. The boy from yesterday. 

She could see that he had worn out some spots in the tree and had made it into some sort of tree house. His leg seemed fine now so she called out to him.

“Ey! (Hey!)”

New Spain turned his head around quickly trying to locate the voice.

“¿Quién está ahí? (Who’s there?)”

13 crawled out a bit further out of the tree, “Soy yo! (It’s me!)”

The boy's face lit up with a sense of clarity, “¡La chica del año pasado! (The girl from last year!)”

“Si! Si! (Yes! Yes!)” 13 felt a sense of warmth inside her. She finally had someone her own age to talk to. “¡Tomé lecciones para que pudiéramos hablar entre nosotros! (I took lessons so we could talk to each other!)”

By now, New Spain had climbed out of the tree. “¿En realidad? (Really?)” He looked genuinely surprised.

“Si! (Yes!)” 13 climbed out of the tree and approached the boy, “¡He estado esperando a alguien con quien hablar durante tanto tiempo! (I’ve been waiting for someone to talk to for so long!)”
The boy took on a sense of pride, “Me alegro de que me hayas elegido para hablar. (I’m glad you chose me to talk to.)”

13 held her hand out for the boy to shake. “13, 13 Colonias, Encantado de conocerte. (13, 13 Colonies, pleased to meet you.)”

New Spain shook her hand, “Nueva España, es agradable finalmente conocerte. (New Spain, it’s nice to finally meet you.)”

From that day forth, the two became almost inseparable. With the occasional acquaintance of Canada (I’m sure he has a colonial name, I just don’t know what it is) and Louisiana Territory. They shared stories and told jokes, but there was this invisible barrier between the two of them. 

You see, if you’ve read your history books you would know that the British Empire and Spanish Empire weren’t really on speaking terms (especially since the Spanish Empire slept with his wife). 13 was allowed to come over due to New Spains father not caring as long as he was getting his gold. However, New Spain could not come over to visit 13.

“Just once, PLEASE!!” New Spained begged (they both learned each other's language so the creator could stop using google translate for the parts in Spanish).

“I told you, if he finds out I’m getting skinned alive and locked up on a random island in the middle of the ocean.” 13 explained. She really wanted him to come over, but the risk was too great. “Especially now with all of these new rules.”

New Spain sighed and layed back into the grass, “Your dad sucks.”

“I know.” 13 groaned.

“He’s too strict, he gets angry with your mom when she’s sleeping around with other men when he’s doing the same thing!”

“I know! Like, if you're gonna choose to have an affair with somebody, shouldn’t that somebody be a woman?”

“Exactly!”

“...”

The two colonies stared up at the sky together.

“Y’know what? Fuck him.”

New Spain looked at 13, “What?”

“I’m gonna do it.”

“I CAN FINALLY COME OVER?” 

“No, something that I can hide.”

“I hide really well I promise.”

13 giggled, “Not you!” she shoved him playfully, “My hair!”

New Spain looked at her astonished. You see, 13 had really long nicely brushed hair.

“W-what are you gonna do with it?”

“I’m gonna cut it.”

“All of it?!”

“Well- no. But it’s definitely gonna be shorter.” 13 sat up and dug in her medical bag. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and thought, to heck with it! My fathers been a dick to me ever since I was born. He starved me! Back when I could barely form sentences! So I’ve decided. He can’t control me.” 13 brought her hand out and with it, a pair of shears.

“You’re insane.”

“Good, now do it.” 13 handed him the shears. In a couple of minutes, her hair was now scattered among the grass on the ground.

“Oh god. What did I just do?” 13 looked at her reflection in the metal of the shears.

“Fought back.” New Spain replied, smirking.

Chapter Text

Something is wrong. 13 hasn’t visited in over a year. 

Did something happen to her? Oh god, did she get sent to live out on an island in the middle of the ocean? Is she dead?! New Spain was pacing frantically around his room.

He stopped pacing and flopped onto his bed. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t cut her hair, maybe I could still see her.

(There will be many timeskips - author, also I gave up translating every thought New Spain has.)

Sparky yelped.

“Sparky! ¡Lo siento mucho! (Sparky! I’m so sorry!)”

Sparky was the dog the two had found. They had found him almost 50 years ago, so how he’s still alive is beyond me.

New Spain sighed again. Where was she? Maybe she left a message.

New Spain got up and left his house and ventured into the woods. The tree where they had met was still standing and they had decided to use it as a way to leave written messages for one another.

He climbed up the tree and checked the nook where they usually left their letters.

There was only 1 letter. It was from 13.

New Spain picked it up and began to read.

FYI, the message was in Spanish, but I’m not doing all’that.

Dear New Spain,

I have news. Father found out. I dumped his tea into the ocean. From there, things started to get physical. He hit, I bit back. He swung, I made sure he would never have another child ever again (I kicked him in the balls). I don’t know when I will see you again. Something tells me this fight is going to go on for a while. Just know, if I die, don’t let them put me into a frilly dress. I will gouge out their toenails.

With love and endearment,

United States of America

P.S. Don’t die before I win, because I am gonna win.

New Spain stared at the letter for a long time. Reading it over and over again. He couldn’t believe this was the same person he had met all that time ago.

He also couldn’t believe the sense of dread and pain when he read the word die. There is no way in hell he was gonna let her die before/without him.

New Spain slumped over. He now knew what was happening, but somehow, that made it worse. He couldn’t do anything about it.

New Spain felt a few tears prick his eyes. He can’t lose his best friend. (They are 100% more than friends - author)

New Spain sighed, he should probably go check up with the other colonies. See if they have any news.

As he walked away from the tree, he felt the urge to go back. To look for clues. To hope this was just some joke. But 13 doesn’t joke like this. She doesn’t do anything physical.

So instead, he kept walking forward.

Uhhh yatta yatta boring stuff walk walk blah blah blah.

“New Spain!” Louisiana Territory was with Canada. She waved her hand excitedly at him.

Canada however, looked out of it. He looked… tired.

“How have you been? Is 13 back yet? Have you heard anything? Is Sparky still alive? Do you know if France is cheating again?” L.T. (Louisiana Territory) peppered him with questions. She was becoming harder and harder to hang around with. Alas, she knew Spanish so there was no escaping her endless chatter.

“I’m fine, no 13 is not back, I just got a letter, yes my dog is still alive, and France is most likely cheating.” New Spain answered all of her questions and flopped down onto the grass next to them.

“WHAT DOES IT SAY? WHAT DOES IT SAY? TELL ME TELL ME! IS IT A SECRET? I CAN KEEP A SECRET I PROMISE! PLEASE TELL ME! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.” L.T. immediately wanted to know what was going on, but she can’t really keep a secret.

“Calm down! Sweet Jesus..” L.T.’s energy was not shared. “It just says that she’s fighting her dad and told me what to do if she dies.”

“Oh. That’s boring. Boo.” L.T. 's reaction after finding out the information had nothing to do with her safety of ghosts immediately went back to draw symbols in the ground.

New Spain glanced at Canada and noticed that he seemed to be avoiding him.

“You good?”

“Huh?” Canada looked over at New Spain. “Oh uh… it’s just that… I don’t know, maybe if you could’ve convinced her not to cut her hair she wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Oh, so we’re blaming me now?”

“You weren’t there when father found out. She’s seriously hurt.”

“I know, she told me so in the letter.”

“She is fighting a war against him! Don’t you understand?” Canada stood up. “Listen, things would’ve been better off if you two had never met.”

And with that, Canada walked away.

“Daaaaaammmmmnnnnn.” L.T. grimaced, “That was brutal.”

“Not now L.T.”

L.T. looked at him.

New Spain stood up and began to walk home.

He found out answers, which is what he had wanted, but somehow, they just made it worse.

“Would she really be better off without me?” New Spain stopped walking. It was a terrible thing to think, after all, they had been best friends for almost 100 years now.

New Spain shook his head and hurried home.

Chapter Text

It’s been done. I won.

America had won the war, independence was hers.

“I DID IT! LET’S FUCKING GO!!!” America pumped her hands into the air, “OH MY GOD. I HAVE TO GO TELL NEW SPAIN.”

She hurried through the forest, following familiar paths and going around old bends. She came to the tree.

“NEW SPAIN!” She shouted.

Silence.

“Hm. Not here.” America felt disappointed by this. It had been so long, she really wanted to see him.

America continued to search.

“New Spain! Nueva Espana!!!” America called out. Still no reply. Maybe he’s home.

She started towards New Spain's house.

Before knocking she stopped. What if he’s not home? What if his dad answers??? That would not be fun.

Instead, she decided to climb through his window because she can do that now.

After climbing up to his window, America peaked inside to make sure he was there.

She didn’t see anything (she has her glasses on this time chat).

“¿Nueva Espana?” America tentatively called out. No response.

Where could that boy be?

She hopped down from his window.

He can’t be eating, it’s barely 10 am. He’s not practicing, I already went there. Maybe he’s up in the tree? Or… maybe he’s hanging out with the others? I’ll check his room first.

With that, America climbed back up to his window and stepped inside his room. It was pretty dark, but she could see the faint outline of things in the darkness.

America looked around. She walked around the room and then tripped over something. When she looked back to see what it was, it looked like New Spain.

But why on Earth was he sleeping on the floor?

America nudged him, “Nueva Espanaaaa, guess who’s back?”

Nothing. 

“New Spain?” America was getting worried now. Why isn’t he answering?

“Heh heh, jokes over, get up.” America was shaking his body now. Still nothing.

She began to look at him closely, nothing big, just a bruise on his head.

He’s alive. That’s for sure. America sat back down. She was really worried now. While checking him, she noticed that he had lost a few pounds. Well, a lot of pounds.
She could see the faint outlines of his ribs.

Is someone doing this to him on purpose? He wouldn’t starve himself. It’s not like him. America felt tears welling up in her eyes. She rubbed them away. Stay strong. Think America, how can you get him to wake up? 

The war had changed her. She now knew more than enough medical research.

He hit his head and is now not waking up but is still breathing. Sounds like a concussion. The bruise doesn’t seem to be too bad, he should wake up soon, but he has less strength now due to his weight loss. America looked back at her best friend. He needs food.

America got up and began to climb out his window, “I’ll be back. Don’t get worse please.”

She ran to the forest looking for apples. Mush these up and feed it to him in small bits, that should be enough to make sure he doesn’t choke. 

After getting the apples, America ran back.

In his room, America reached into her medical bag and pulled out a bowl and a clean rock. After picking off the stems, she threw the apple into the bowl and began mushing them with the rock. A couple minutes later, the once fresh apples were now a mush.

“Alright New Spain, open up!” America propped New Spain up against a wall, and after opening his mouth, began feeding him the mushed apples. 

“Little bites. Bit by bit. Please don’t choke.” America prayed New Spain wouldn’t choke.

After a good 10 minutes, all the apple mush had been eaten.

America sighed and leaned back against the wall. She was tired. She had stayed up all night arguing over the terms of surrender with her father, she barely got any sleep.

And if she’s being honest, leaning against the wall on the floor next to her best friend sound pretty fucking good right now.

Within 5 minutes, America had fallen asleep next to New Spain with her back against the wall.

Ok time skip again cuz I’m lazy.

When America woke up, it had become dark out. She didn’t care. Her father couldn’t control her bedtime any more.

America glanced over at New Spain.

He was sitting upright now, not looking at her, but alive and awake.

“Oh thank the heavens, you’re alive!” America embraced her best friend in a tight hug. “Don’t do that ever again.”

New Spain smiled, “Wasn’t planning to. What happened?”

“To me or to you?”

“Just start from when your father found out.”

“Ok, so…”

The two friends were together again, and it was great to be back. 

Anyways, after she finished telling her story n shit.

“Now it’s your turn. I want to know 2 things.”

“Hit me.”

“1, did I miss anything important? 2…” America looked at New Spain, her playful smile gone, “Why were you starving yourself?”

New Spain looked away, “Look- It just kind’ve happened.”

“No. You don’t just accidentally starve yourself.”

New Spain grimaced. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Did you really?” America pulled slightly away from his embrace.

“I’m so sorry. I-I just… You were gone, Canada thinks it’s my fault and L.T. is unbearable and I just couldn’t-” New Spain had begun to cry, “I didn’t mean to, I swear.” His voice wavered. “Please don’t be mad…”

America pulled New Spain in tightly and whispered, “How could I ever be mad at you? You’re my best friend, I was just scared.”

New Spain let his tears flow freely now. “I was just worried th-that if you- you died, I-I wouldn’t be a-able to s-see yo-you again.” he choked out between sobs.

“I understand, I get it.” America was crying now too, “Just don’t scare me like that ever again. Promise?”

“I promise.” New Spain hugged her tighter, a smile appearing on his lips, “Only if you promise to do the same.”

“I promise.”

The two friends fell asleep in each other's arms last night. Both making a promise neither could keep.

Chapter Text

America’s hair had grown out again, not as long as before, but still long.

“Again? Don’t you already have your independence?” New Spain chuckled, holding the shears up carefully.

America laughed, “Yeah, but shorter hair doesn’t require as much work, and I don’t have the time for long hair.”

New Spain sighed, “You don’t have time for anything anymore.”

“Hey! Making a brand new government is pretty hard!”

They both laughed.

New Spain finished cutting her hair, his expression troubled.

“Hey, something wrong?” America turned around and tried to focus on her best friend’s features. She had ditched the glasses ever since her mom kidnapped her.

“Look, whatever I say within the next 5 minutes, don’t let it ruin our friendship.”

America furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

New Spain paused, his troubled expression more visible now.

“I mean I love you! I’ve liked you ever since I spotted you in that tree, ever since we got Sparky, ever since you fought against your dad for your independence, every since you helped me when I was unconscious and starved, even now I know that I love you more than anything in this world, a-and I want to tell you this now before I do anything stupid to fuck it up.”

America stared at him. HELL YEAH!! OHMYGOD WAIT NO. HE’S IN LOVE WITH FAKE ME NOT REAL ME. REAL ME’S A BOY AND I’M LIKE 99.99% SURE HE DOES NOT LIKE BOYS. SHIIIIIIITTT.

“I-I, uh…” She was flustered. How in the fuck was she supposed to respond to her bestfriend telling her he likes her before she could officially transition? “Oh wow… I- look, uhm… I- oh jeez. Look, New Spain… I-” I can’t tell him. He’d hate me for life. “... This is.. A lot, wow. Uhmm, look, I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship just yet. Our parents were terrible influences, making sure everything is in order for me to rise up and be great, adopting Louisiana, I don’t think I have the time or space or mental capacity for something that big.”

New Spain looked away, avoiding her gaze.

“Hey,” America reached over and grabbed New Spain’s hand, “We’re still friends, right?”

New Spain looked up and smiled- but it didn’t seem like a real one, “Yeah.”

Ok, HAHAHAHHAHAHA LOSERS GET TIMESKIPPED ON.

After that last meeting the two agreed that they needed time for themselves, and when ready to meet again and talk it out, they would leave a note by the tree. Today, America was heading to the tree ready to place down her note that summarized basically says: I’m avoiding you, but trying to be nice about it. 

I like him, I really do, it’s just that… would he feel that way about me if I was a man? (100%) Is there a specific reason you keep interrupting that I don’t know about??? (Oh shit- they’ve become sentient).

America arrived at the tree and climbed up. There was a note from New Spain, but it seemed… abnormal. Like something wasn’t right.

America placed down her note and picked up New Spain’s. It crushed her.

Dear America,

Since I seem to be on a streak of bad decisions this year, I’ve made another one. Your revolution sparked something in me that made me realise that I too want to be my own person.

You can already guess where I’m going with this. This may be the last note I ever give you, and I want it to end on good terms.

It’s ok if you don’t love me, I’ve come to accept it. You’re still my most favorite person in the world.

I hope doing this doesn’t kill me, but goodbye America.

With love,

Mexico

What? No nononononononono no! No, don't do this to me, New Spain. I do love you, I really do! I just-...... don’t leave me. You’re still my best friend. America was holding the letter to her chest sobbing. 

You see, ever since America went to go fight in her revolution, Mexico had stopped practicing with his sword. And it’s been, what, 50 years give or take? Going up against a master mind like the Spanish Empire is not something he’s ready for.

(Also this war goes on for like, 11 years and during that span of time America was able to transition’n’shit. So…. yeah. THIS WAR IS LIKE 2x LONGER THAN THE REVOLUTIONARY AND THE WAR OF 1812 COMBINED WTF).

Anyways- after doing some basic research we're gonna go with this: During the war, Louisiana would often go out of their way to smuggle weapons, food, ammunition, etc to Mexico during the war (with a slight break in 1816 when they were being attacked by the British). After the War of 1812, America gained trust issues (after being betrayed by his family and watching his brother doing nothing while he almost died from his father (FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A CENTURY) again. Soo uhhh yeah 🙂. So because of the trust issues (and not hearing from Mexico for like- 11 years), America began to doubt his friendship with him (yeah.. Tell that to the letter you have hung above your bed you fucking love sick phyco). Anyways- gonna skip over Texas because he’s complicated. In short, Mexico thinks America purposely influenced Texas to revolt (He kinda did tbh) and their friendship is kinda gone. Romantic tension? To the max. 

Anyways, idk what I’m doing but I’m sure you can use ur knowledge of history to guess what's happening.

Mexico stared at the man in front of him. He was holding a sword, its tip pointing at him, the man’s expression grim.

What happened? Weren’t they once friends who would tell each other everything?

“Why?”

The man did not move, did not lower his sword, did not stab him.

“You will learn. You can’t ever trust anyone without getting stabbed in the back.”

“I’d never do that to you!”

“Oh but you would.” America’s expression turned cruel. “Just like everyone else.”

“I’m not your family goddammit, I’m your friend! And friends don’t do this to eachother.” Mexico’s eyes welled up with tears.

“Open up your eyes man, you can’t trust nobody here. You’re an adult now. You have to fight for your place in this world or get crushed beneath it.”

“Then why couldn’t we fight it together?” Mexico cried out. This man before him was not the America he knew. The one he knew would never let their personal experiences affect others.

“Because I’m not an idiot.” America growled. “I can tell when the world wants you dead, and it's gonna get it done in whatever way possible. Through you, through my family, or even through my own states! And I’m not gonna fall for it again.”

America was gone. What was left was a nasty creature full of hate.

Mexico understood this now, and with shaky breaths, he left the man he once considered his favorite person behind.

Chapter Text

The U.N. had sent them on some weird sort of culture indulgence mission thing where China, Russia and America are supposed to learn more about what’s going on around the world. They were also told they could bring a +1. China and Russia, having no social life, did not bring anyone like the losers they are. America decided to bring Mexico b/c he wants them all to meet each other (they have not met until this trip).
Starting off strong.
“Oh my god, freedom!” America breathed in the fresh air of Europe. It was not fresh, it smelled like smoke and dog shit.
“Wouldn’t exactly call this freedom.” Mexico replied, “Especially since the people here were the ones we got freedom from.”
“Eh, better than sitting on a plane for several hours.”
The two were starting their adventure in London and had to wait for the others to arrive.
“What’s the point of this trip anyway?” Mexico asked.
“Eh, most likely just so the U.N. doesn’t have to be bothered with us.”
“Then what’s with the +1 thing?”
America shrugged, “Gotta make it believable.”
“Seems like bullshit.”
“You smell like bullshit.”
“Your face looks like bullshit.”
Barely 5 minutes in and the two were already fighting. The world’s never been better. (It most definitely has)
“How long is it gonna take them to get here?”
“Uhh….” America reached into their pocket and pulled out their phone, “Somewhere between 20 minutes and their plane has crashed and they’re all dead.”
You see, Russia and China shall be arriving from Asia. Why the plane from North America got there quicker, I have no idea. Plot I guess.
“OH SHIT OUR BAGS.” Mexico jumped up, “WE FORGOT TO GET THEM.”
“No, they’re right here you blind wall hopper.” America gestured to the bags waiting patiently to be recognized.
“It’s never going away is it?”
“You will forever be my favorite wall hopper.” America grinned.
“Yeah, yeah, wall hopper my ass.” Mexico rolled his eyes. The two grabbed their bags and walked out of the airport.
“Where are we staying?”
“Somewhere close to the airport.”
“You don’t know do you?” Mexico glared at America.
“No. That’s China’s job.”
“China isn’t here you homosexual fuckwad.”
“Tch, what a shame.” America pulled out his phone. “Ok, we’re a couple blocks away from here.”
“I thought you didn’t know where we’re going.”
“Hah! The orange in charge may be trying to dumb me down, but he hasn’t succeeded just yet.”
“I didn’t know it was possible to dumb you down.” Mexico snickered.
WHAM
America had slammed Mexico in the face with his suitcase.
“Go fuck yourself!” America yelled and took off running down the street.
“YOU FAT FUCK. VEN AQUÍ! (GET OVER HERE!)”
“KISS MY ASS TACO MUNCHER!” America yelled back.
“I wish I could.” Mexico grumbled too far away for America to tell what he was saying.
America stopped. “This is us.”
“Huh, not too bad.”
“Duh, I wasn’t gonna let us stay somewhere without ac.”
“I’d be fine without ac, it’s you who needs the princess treatment.”
“Quiet taco boy.”
The two checked into the hotel and left their bags in their room and returned back to the airport to wait for China and Russia to get there.
“You’re gonna love them.”
“Heh, I know I will, but how do you think they’ll act towards me?”
America glanced at Mexico through his sunglasses, “They’ll think you’re crazy.”
“You’re crazy.”
“You’re crazier.”
“Nuh uh, you are.”
“Nuh uh you.”
“Nuh uh.
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Of course we find you arguing with someone.” China and Russia had arrived. They began to walk up to the two.
“Finally! We’ve been waiting for you guys for hours!” America groaned.
“What do you mean WE?” Russia asked, furrowing his brows. He was huge. I’m talking astronomically huge. Huge and depressed cuz he’s a fucking loser.
“Me and Mexico!” America gestured to the stunned Mexico next to him.
“Why is he here?” China glanced from one idiot to the other.
“U.N. said we could bring a plus one and I’ve been dying for you guys to meet.” America explained.
Now look, China and Russia hate socializing. Especially if it’s with somebody America knows. The two would rather do other things like drinking and reading and whatever losers with money do.
“America, can we talk to you in private?” China seethed between his teeth.
“Whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of him.” America stood his ground.
“Just don’t ask me the color of shit.” Mexico said, eyeing the two pretty boys in front of him.
America rolled his eyes and punched Mexico on the arm.
“Hey!”
“Be normal.”
“美國，聽著，我們不想讓其他人來這裡。你應該可以看出來，因為你認識我們20多年了。(America, listen, we do not want other people here. You should be able to tell this because you've known us for over 20 years.)” China explained to America.
“да. (Yeah.)” Russia agreed, nodding his head.
“What are they saying? I wasn’t paying attention.” Mexico looked at America.
“They’re saying they’re socially awkward losers who feel uncomfortable having to deal with your presence for more than 2 weeks.” America translated.
“You could’ve just said that y’know.” Mexico turned his focus to the stunned men. “There’s nothing wrong with being anxious meeting new people. I understand. Cuz I’m not dense like him.” Mexico pointed to America.
“Oh your wall hopping ass is dead meat.” America lunged at Mexico and the two began to brawl.
“Good gracious you two! We’ve barely been here for ten minutes and you’re already acting like children!” China rushed forward to separate the idiots from killing eachother. “Do you guys even like eachother?”
“Of course we do! He’s my best friend!” America stared at China as if dumbfounded by the logic of what he was saying.
“Yeah! We’ve known each other since birth!”
“Dear god you argue more with him other than how much you argue with Russia!” China was getting tired of their bullshit. It had been a long day for him, jet lag was hitting him hard. “At least let us check in.”
“Oh yeah of course!” America smiled brightly at them, “Follow me, I’ll show you where it is.”
America led China and Russia towards the hotel, introducing them to Mexico and giving them entirely unnecessary personal information.
When they arrived at the hotel, China and Russia had a separate room to themselves while America and Mexico had another one for themselves.
“I’m tired, I’m going to nap for a bit before we continue.” China flopped onto his bed.
“Uh nonononononononoooooo.” America wagged his find at the twinky boy on the bed. “You need to adjust to your new sleep schedule. Taking a nap midday will ruin it!”
“I’m gonna strangle you.” China groaned from the pillows.
“He’s right y’know.” Russia was also very tired, but big tough men don’t need sleep.
“Exactly why I’m going to strangle him.”
“Idk man, that seems kinda illegal.” Mexico shrugged.
“Oh why did you have to bring somebody?”
“It’s not nice to bully y’know.” America shook his head in a disappointed manner, “We’ll leave you here so you can take a nap for 16 minutes, just don’t complain about it later.”
“Just leave already.”
“Ok ok! Sheesh!” America shoved Mexico to the door. “Good luck vodka bear!”
Russia rolled his eyes.
In their room, Mexico and America found a problem. The two had been planning to share a bed because booking for one was cheaper than booking for two. And money doesn’t exactly fall from the sky. But the staff had noticed there were two of them and pulled out the couch bed thing that most hotels had.
Why is that a problem?
Bc they enjoy sleeping w/ each other without making it seem like they’re dating. Fucking gay fags.
Now they had to find a way to share the bed without seeming gay for each other.
“Dam dude, I dunno, the couch doesn’t seem that comfortable.” America said.
“Yeah, you’re right. Wanna share the big one?” Mexico glanced at America.
“Sure dude, as long as you're fine with it.”
“Yeah, I’m chill with it.”
The two finished unpacking their stuff while they waited.
“Alright, let’s go wake up the others. I’m hungry.”
“Same dude, that plane food was ass.”
“100%.” America nodded his head in agreement. They’re so fat I love them.
I love gay ppl. 🙂
The two stalked towards China and Russia’s room, America had his phone out to record because his black mail folder was looking kinda empty =/
With phone in hand, the two opened the door and Mexico got lifted up and thrown at the sleeping men by America.
“RISE AND SHINE SLEEPYHEADS.” America yelled out into the dark room.
“Noooooooo. 5 more minutes you fat fuck.” Russia whined into the pillow, “Go back to the Mcdonald’s where you came from.”
“I would love to do that but I’d need to bring you too.”
“No you don’t.” He mumbled.
“Eh, too bad. We’re hungry.” Mexico got up from his awkward position on the ground. “C’mon!”
“努奧 (Noooooo)” China covered his head with the pillow. “Let us sleep more.”
“Yes, but we’re starving and people won't give you judgemental looks for not having British money.”
“Go to an ATM or smth.” Russia mumbled.
“Yes, but people are still gonna judge us for existing.” Mexico rolled his eyes and began to drag China out of the bed.
“We don’t CARE. WE ARE TIRED.” China struggled away from Mexico’s grasp.
“Yeah, we gave you time to sleep, let's go now.” America helped Mexico drag the two out from the beds.
After a couple minutes of struggle and kidnapping, the group emerged looking like- well, China and Russia look like they wanna go back to bed, America and Mexico look like they’re about to commit a crime.
China yawned, “Alright, where are we going?”
“FOOD.” America practically jumped at the chance.
“Yeah! The airplane food was ass and sucked.” Mexico nodded his head in agreement.
“Alright. Russia, where should we go?”
“WHY ARE YOU ASKING HIM????” America looked disappointed.
“He’s not even hungry!” Mexico hurriedly agreed.
“Because all you two are gonna ask for is junk food and I’m not spending my money on that.” China had managed to perfect the disappointed father look.
“W-What? Noooooo.” America stuttered, “What makes you say that? That’s wild.”
“Yeah, like who would choose to eat junk food first before actual food?That’s insane.”
“Then where would you guys like to go?” Russia asked.
“I heard that there was this super cool mall where it has like, a fancier version of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory inside!” America brightened up immediately.
“Yeah! It has chocolate from like, ALL over the world!” Mexico jumped up and down in anticipation.
“Dear god, you’re just like children.” China brought his hand down his face. This was gonna be a long day.
On their way to an ACTUAL restaurant, they spotted a burger restaurant.
“Honest Burgers.” America looked at the disgrace to burgers standing in front of him. “At least they know they suck.”
“Don’t be rash.” China scolded him.
“Can you smell burgers from out here? Do you see people looking content as they exit? No. You don’t.” America shook his head. “This place sucks.”
Russia rolled his eyes, of course the fatass would know if a burger place sucks before they even enter.
As they continued walking, they came across another one.
“Good Burgers?” America looked the place up and down. “I’m doubtful.”
“Ok, we’re not here to judge British burger places, let's go.” China dragged America from the burger place before he said anything too bad.
Near the end, they came across yet ANOTHER burger place.
“Fancy Burgers?” America looked the place up and down.
“What? Can’t find anything to critique it on?” Russia smirked.
“No. Just wonder why an Italian restaurant is named Fancy Burgers.” America shrugged.
“Wait- what?” Mexico stopped walking. “The Italian restaurant is named… Fancy Burgers?”
“Either that or the burgers here suck so much that people only order the pasta.”
“That’s wild.” Mexico commented.
“Alright, we’re done staring, let’s go.” China shoved the others away from the restaurant.
Ok time skip cuz I have no idea what restaurant they’re going to. Oh yeah, it’s dinner time btw.
Once they were done with their food and had arrived back at the hotel, the two pairs said goodnight to one another and headed into their separate rooms.
“Ohhhhhhh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooood.” America sighed and he fell onto the bed. “I’m not even tired, this is terrible.”
“Agreed,” Mexico sat on the edge of the bed next to America. “So how are we gonna sleep?”
“I dunno man. I guess we just lay in bed until we fall asleep or smth.”
“Wait- did you plug in your phone?”
“Oh shit I didn’t, thanks for reminding me.”
“Yeah, I’ma go change now. Don’t come in.”
“Aight.”
After changing and getting ready for bed, the two slipped into bed.
Due to past experiences, America has managed to acquire the ability to sleep anywhere anytime. Mexico had not.
The two had both taken up opposite sides of the bed, facing opposite directions.
Mexico sneaked a glance at America. This moment reminded him of when they were younger and used to camp out in that tree where they had met. Except in the tree, they were a lot closer and took way longer falling asleep. Telling each other jokes and making up stories and plans. Mexico missed those times often. He wondered if America did too.
Sometime during the night, America had managed to snuggle up to the still awake Mexico. This was how Mexico fell asleep. In his friends embrace.
OMFG I LOVE THEM EHEHEHHEHEHEEEE. I love gay ppl so much. Hehe… 😋
Anyways, need to write more to feed my child. Lol.
Morntime, Mexico woke up. He didn’t know what time it was, but he wanted to stay in this moment. He wanted to go back to sleep. He didn’t want to move.
He knew he shouldn’t feel like this. After all, there was what had happened in the 1800's. America had done something terrible to him and shouldn’t be forgiven, so why did Mexico still love him?
Mexico looked at America’s sleeping face. This was one of the few times he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses.
“How do you see anything?” Mexico sighed. He was in love with an idiot. Well, more accurately he was an idiot in love. An idiot in love with an idiot, how wonderful.
How to make this not awkward? Mexico realized that when America woke up, that this moment no matter how blissful would still be awkward. Wait, what time is it?
Mexico turned over and checked his phone. 3 am.
Ah. That’s why I still couldn’t see much. Mexico put his phone back down and tried to fall back asleep. (HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THIS REMIX OF YOUR IDOL AM I LISTENING TO??? HOLY HELL.) It was rather easy to do so this time.
Ok I’m tired now. But I gotta make more movie…
“Dude, if you want free food, wake up.” America was shaking Mexico awake.
“Huh? Wh-what?” Mexico sat up groggily and rubbed his eyes.
“C’mon, it's 9:40, I let you sleep in but sleep in any more and we’re gonna miss our chance to get free breakfast.” America was hurriedly putting on his shoes.
“Oh right. We’re here.” Mexico flopped back down and rolled out the bed. “I wanna go back. This place sucks.”
“Agreed, but free food is free food. C’mon.” America hauled Mexico up from the floor, “I’m hungry dude.”
“Alright! I’m going! Calm down.” Mexico smiled. The past was nice, but you can’t wallow in it forever. The present can still be good.
Ok I’m sleeping now. Good morning rizzlers I’m back to writing.
After quickly getting ready the pair hurried down and America texted the others to wake up.
“They’re probably already up.”
“Eh.” America shrugged. “Better to make sure so that they don’t miss out on breakfast.”
Coming into the dining room buffet, choosing what to eat was not. Everything sounded good, eggs, pancakes, scones, more eggs…
“They really like eggs, no?” Mexico looked at all the different types of eggs laid out.
“They have a chicken farm in the back so it makes sense.”
While the amount of food seemed plentiful, it did not look good. There seemed to be a lack of seasoning on everything.
“Hmmm, they should be down here by now.” America had finished half of the food he loaded onto his plate (which was a lot because he is a fatass [our favorite fatasss]). He checked his phone. “Still no response.”
“Should we go up to their room to knock?” Mexico looked back up at America. “How.”
“What?” America had finished his entire plate.
“You fucking fatty.”
America snickered. “It’s free food. I’m hungry.”
“Good grief."
Mexico got up from his seat and gestured for America to follow.
The pair walked up the stairs heading towards China and Russia’s room.
“There’s no way they’re still asleep. It’s like, 11 am right now.” America checked the time on his phone.
“Hm.. well, in Asia it's like… what? 5 pm?” Mexico glanced at America. “Oh wait. Yeah no, you’re right they should be awake.”
“Told ya.”
America knocked on their door. “Wakey wakey~ We need to exist in the outside world now!”
China opened up the door looking like he hadn’t slept in days. “What time is it…?” He mumbled.
“11 am.”
“Oh god.” China looked up at the ceiling. “I’ve been awake for 10 hours.”
Mexico sucked in his breath through his teeth, “Yeah. Lack of sleep does NOT look good on you. Pero me sorprende que puedas verte mal. (But I’m surprised you could look bad.)”
America shoved Mexico. “Buen dolor, maldito monstruo. (Good grief, you fucking freak!)”
Mexico laughed, “What? Can’t give a compliment?”
“I’m sorry, either you two forgot that I’m standing right here or you think I can speak Spanish, which I cannot do.” China glared at the two. “What are you guys saying???”
America and Mexico shared a glance.
“Uhhhh y’know… the.. Weather.” Mexico answered, avoiding China’s gaze. America seemed to have a special interest in the floor now.
“Uh huh. Yeah.” China nodded slowly. Seriously, how stupid did they think he was? (They know he’s smart.)
“How’s the vodka addict?” America looked behind China, peering into the room.
“Some sort of in between state.” China shrugged.
“Ah.”
Oh wait I can’t do that yet… hehehehhehehehe
“Makes sense. C’mon drunkard! We need to exist!” America shouted past China.
Russia grunted from inside the room.
“We’ll see you down in a bit.” China closed the door in America’s face.
Silence fell on the outside of the room.
“I dunno, low-key wanna peg him.” America started walking back to his hotel room with Mexico.
“Which one?”
“The bigger one. Duh.”
“Mmm. Idk, China’s pretty fine.” Mexico shrugged.
America grinned. “Nah, he’s just a femboy and you like femboys.”
“Oh har har.” Mexico playfully punched America on the arm.
Lowkey wanna write abt them making out. 😮‍💨
“Wait, why are we going to the room? We already have al’our shit?” America stopped.
“Oh yeah. How long do you think it’s gonna take then to be awake?”
“Uhhhhhh idk.” America shrugged.
“You’re so useful.” Mexico rolled his eyes. “What time are those fancy global meetings at?”
“Uh…….. like 10 am or smth?”
“Ok. If he’s been awake for 10 hours that means he regularly gets up at 8 am.”
“And this means….?”
“I thought you knew how to do math.”
“I do, but I’m better when it comes to physics.”
“Of course you are. Basically it takes 2 hours for him to get ready on a regular day.”
“Hm. Maybe you’re not so dumb yourself.” America gave Mexico a friendly noogie (is that how you spell it? Y’know, the thing when you take your sibling in a choke-hold and rub your knuckles against their head?)
I hate my brother ♥️ (srsly tho)
“Well what are we gonna do while we wait?”
America shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“What would you do right now if we weren’t waiting for someone?”
“Uhhh not be here.”
“Sounds about right.” Mexico sighed.
“I’m kidding dude. I’m with you.” America nudged Mexico “C’mon, let’s go explore, maybe there’s like an ice cream store around?
“Let’s hope there is.”
Anyways, the entire day was relatively uneventful. After China and Russia had emerged from their room they went shopping (getting souvenirs and whatnot idk) and the entire day went by slowly.
“OMG A BOOKSTORE.” America pointed to a store with books in the display window.
“Do you even know how to read?” Russia crossed his arms. The USSR had taught him reading anything but the law, math equations, the newspaper and rules was too feminine of him.
“Duh, how else would I pass the time?” America dragged China to the bookstore.
“NO! No no no!! If I go in I won’t come out! I barely have anyroom!” China struggled against America (send help my brian keeps making it freaky 🙁).
“Ugggghhhh. Fine.” America stopped. “But the next time I ask for you guys to do something, we’re fucking doing it.” (How did I mess up spelling ‘fucking’ 9315 times?)
“Ok ok, lets just head back already. My feet hurt.” Mexico complained.
The group headed back to the hotel and I don’t remember shit from my time in London. Uhhhh idk man. Anyways, time skip (it’s been 3 days lol)
They’re in Paris now! Yay!
They got there by train (relatively normal) and when they got there the weather was cloudy and cold. It’s summer time btw. Anyways, the first day goes by without a hitch. The second day however, it rained. Nobody thought to bring an umbrella.
“Oh shit.” America looked out the window. “I knew we were forgetting something.”
“What is it this time?” China looked up from his book. Since Paris is too expensive, all 4 were sharing a room.
“It’s raining.” America pointed to the drab grey landscape before them outside the window. “You don’t happen to have an umbrella with you, do you?”
China got up and looked out upon the city. “No.”
Mexico sighed. “I thought you were the prepared one.”
“It’s also way colder here than how we expected it to be.” Russia said. He had only brought a short sleeved shirt (since it was SUMMER) and one old weathered down jacket.
“You’re still not gonna wear that jacket.” China shook his head.
“I’m going to get sick out there.” Russia pointed out the window.
“That jacket makes you look homeless.” China crossed his arms.
“And peggable. I can see what Ame was talking about.” Mexico had gotten comfortable around the two tall men. (This just means that freak mode is now accessible).
Russia immediately put the jacket back into his bag, he was very easy to get flustered. His face had turned bright red.
“That’s all it takes?” China looked back at Mexico.
“Que?” Mexico looked up with a curious expression.
“Nevermind.” China rolled his eyes.
“Let’s go shopping!” America sat up from the chair. “We need the appropriate clothing, and what we have is not it. We also need an umbrella or two. Plus, this is Paris! The city of fashion.”
“Could’ve sworn it was the city of love yesterday.” Mexico looked up.
“Eh. Paris multitasks.” America shrugged.
“Whatever. I’m game.” Russia had managed to cool down.
“Alright, now let’s run to the nearest store in pouring rain!” America clasped his hands together looking around the group.
“You guys can go do that. My bag is stuffed.” China waved them off.
“Dude, you say that every time we try to buy something. Just say that you’re a retired shop-aholic.” Mexico looked mildly disappointed.
“What?” China looked confused.
“Either that or you’re insanely frugal.” Mexico shrugged off the question.
“Dude, your bag CANNOT be that small. I know you. You only pack what’s necessary and make sure there’s room in case of emergencies.” America crossed his arms.
“Ok! Ok, you got me. I have extra space in my bag, but I still do not want to go shopping.”
“Oh he’s most definitely frugal.” Mexico remarked, not looking up from his phone.
“C’mon man, it cannot be that bad.” America waved Mexico off.
“Oh, it can be. You wouldn’t know that though, due to the fact that you are of average height.” China gestured to America’s size.
America gasped, looking offended. “I am NOT average!”
“Yes you are mi amigo.” Mexico replied.
“SHUT UP TACO BOY.” America yelled back.
Mexico rolled his eyes.
Oh, the urge to make them all fuck rn is insane.
“WHAT.”
Nothing, you’re all slowly going insane. Nighty night hoes.
“😦”
Heheh….
Ok, I have no patience. I need them to be in love now. SPEED ROUND!
At the store there was a bright red umbrella with a tag that said it was grey. They visited the catacombs! They tried fancy french food and naturally visited the eiffel tower (so many photos). They visited like 50 art museums (good god).
Now they’re in Scandinavia! The trolls there are ugly asf and America and Mexico immediately bought the ugliest one for Canada. They’re so nice. Anyways, it turns out Norway has like… 247973267463297821 million parks. They went to all of them. They saw the fjords on a cruise (they could get free ice cream there). They went to Denmark and went to the Lego Brick! Wow, so cool. There was also this big theme park they went to. Then they went to Sweden and went to this one restaurant where the dude there would introduce them to the ENTIRETY OF THE PEOPLE THERE. It was entirely made to be like how vikings would’ve eaten back in the day. The food there was mid. They went to the Vasa museum and saw Latvia there. Also one of the hotels they were staying at was RIGHT NEXT TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK and had a SLIDE.
Anyways… yatta yatta yatta Europe stuff Europe stuff… Now they’re in Greece. China and America are out doing stuff (most likely getting ice cream since China forgot something and needed to bring someone who knew how to socialize.) It’s just Mexico and Russia in the room now. The two had grown closer together over the trip due to their equal despise of America (and totally not b/c I wanted them to fck).
Mexico had been telling Russia much of his and America’s life as colonies (including how they met).
“It’s just that, everything was so good. I don’t understand what happened.” Mexico sighed.
“What do you mean?” Russia asked, confused.
“Don’t you wonder why me and America hate each other now when as kids we were best friends?”
“I mean, I just assumed you guys drifted apart.”
Mexico laughed, not a happy one. “More like shoved apart.”
“Why? What happened?” Russia was good at listening.
“Well, 14 years after I won my independence, I noticed how Texas was distancing himself from me. Not the normal distance that you would expect from a teenager, no, it was the one that would lead someone such as myself that he was being told what to miss out on.”
Russia nodded, “Ok.. and?”
“I asked him. He said it was nothing. I didn’t think so. I asked him, who are you talking to? He said America. I didn’t expect a thing since America was my best friend, but a couple of days later Texas declared independence. I fought with him for a year, but in the end I decided to let him go. He immediately went to America to ask for statehood, but America stalled for quite some time. This made me think, ‘Oh! America couldn’t have done this. He didn’t immediately allow Texas statehood! This means I can still trust him, yay!’ Fast forward 10 years, the inevitable happens. To say the least, he claimed to be doing it because he thought I would betray him eventually because he had taken in Texas and because that’s what most people had done to him at this point. In the end, he won but said I could ask for whatever price I wanted. ‘To make up for it’ he said. How do you put a price on betraying your best friend?!” Mexico stood up and began pacing around the room. “I just, I wanna know what happened.”
Russia stood up and walked toward Mexico, placing a big rough hand on his shoulder, “What he did to you was not ok, nothing could change that. I’m not the best with emotions, just take one look at my situation and you can see that. But the real question is, do you think it can be fixed?”
Mexico looked up at him. “No…”
“Then how are you going to tell him to make it better?”
“I-...” Mexico began but stopped himself. “He’s apologized- which is nice! But when I ask if I can have them back, he just says no. It makes the apology seem fake. It makes me feel like I’m the only one that wants to make it better.”
“Well, there seems to be a wall between you guys. Tell me, what was the last conversation you guys had before you fought for your independence?”
Mexico immediately tensed up. “Well, uh, you see.. It was so long ago- I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast today!”
Russia grabbed Mexico by the shoulders, “I can’t help if you don’t tell me. That’s how the wall starts.”
Mexico stared into his eyes and sighed and sat down. “Before I tell you this, there is something in here that you mustn’t tell ANYONE. Not a single soul.”
Russia nodded.
“The last conversation we had, I confessed I had feelings for him. Now, you can see why this might be a problem. This was the early 1800’s, both of us were religious. That’s because you’re missing a character design. You see- oh god, he’s gonna hate me for this, America was not born... A man. He’s trans. And when I confessed to him, he was still a girl.” Mexico looked up at Russia hesitantly, “Do you see where this is going?”
“Yes. You fell for the fake version of him, he thinks that now that he’s changed, you don’t feel the same way anymore. This is why he probably thought you would betray him. Due to your past ideals and the situation you guys were in, I don’t think any relationship would’ve survived that. Even now, that outcome is most likely the best one possible.”
Mexico hugged his knees to his chest. “I know, I just thought he would be able to trust me more. Have I told you the story of how he found me after his war of independence? I hadn’t been eating enough and while getting up from bed, I fell over and hit my head. I was unconscious for a couple of hours. America found me passed out by climbing through my window looking for me. He helped me get back on my feet fighting through fatigue and a lack of nutrients himself. I thought that we could survive anything thrown our way after that moment. I guess I was wrong.”
A moment of silence fell over them.
“But, I also wonder, how can I feel like this? Why do I still love him? After everything he’s done…” Mexico shook his head. “Love is a lie made up by our parents to justify cheating on each other."
Hehe…
“Don’t be so rough on yourself. You guys grew up with terrible influences.”
“Hah! The worst part is that they’re still alive.”
The two chuckled. It was wild, Mexico’s relationship with a man he met a couple weeks ago was healthier than the one he had with his best friend since childhood.
(They’re tots falling for each other, trust)
Omg I love them. Gay ppl are my favorite kind of ppl.
Anyways, skip skip yatta yatta, idk where they are now. Js somewhere dangerous. Like, Iran/Iraq or smth. Y’know, that area of the middle east. (I’m not foreshadowing anything guys, dw)
Are you guys ready for this fic to go so south that it’s gonna seem like it's not the same fic anymore? No? THAT’S TOO DAMN BAD. MISTKI IS PLAYING FULL BLAST NOW.
I need to just drop you guys in the middle of the action but I’m not that mean. Actually I’m gonna put you guys in the aftermath of it. HAHAHHAHHAHA CRY ABT IT.

America had hung himself. He had done it. He had surrendered. Something he had only done once before. Louisiana found him after noticing that he hadn’t been checking up on the other states as much as he would be.
“Oh God.” Lou stood at the door, frozen. What should she do? Call for help? Help from who? Who do you call if not your parent? But her parent was dead. He had killed himself.
So instead, Lou backed away from the door and closed it. Canada, I have to go tell Canada. Lou was breathing rapidly. She raced to Canada and the next moments were a blur. But, I’ll fill you in now.
You see, the trip the four had taken was cut short. Mexico had gotten killed. Since someone had the bright idea to go to the middle east knowing damn well who was going, they got a couple of death threats. Someone had actually carried one of them out. The gun was aimed at America, but Mexico had gotten in the way. I’m gonna let you guys imagine the events from there (js letting you know, there was a confession or two in there).
Wait, no I’m not. K, here’s what happened (well, the dialogue part):
“Oh my god, you fucking idiot.” America raced forward to catch Mexico.
“Ay, we’re both idiots in this.” Mexico chuckled then stopped and grimaced because it hurt. “That was a bad idea wasn’t it?”
“Oh god, if this bullet doesn’t kill you then I will.” America was kneeling down next to him doing whatever he could to help. “Can you fuckwads be useful and get help?”
“That’s what I’m doing!” China had started furiously tapping on his phone since he heard the shot.
“It was a terrible idea coming here.” Russia had built up a poor barricade because this shooter still had bullets. “Do you think they’re even gonna help?”
“THEY FUCKING BETTER.” America yelled, stopped, breathed and then repeated, “If they don’t, I will capture everyone this idiot holds dear to him and execute them one by one.”
“Hey, mi amigo, ¡calme!” Mexico had a tight smile on his face. This pain was fucking unbearable.
“Shut up, you got shot and if you die I’m gonna kill you again in the afterlife. Or if you ever come over here on Nov 1.”
“Hah- oh wait no that hurts.” Mexico gritted through his teeth.
“他媽的接送 (FUCKING PICK UP.)” China was tapping even more furiously now. “Oh these idiots are hearing it from me I swear-”
“Dude, now’s not the time for you to be raging over people you don’t know.” Russia was trying to calm both America and China down.
“SHUT UP DRUNKARD.”
Russia shrugged, “This is why I start conflicts. I can’t end them.”
“噢不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不不 (Oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no)” China was panicking, because he panics. He does not fight, he does not flight, he does not freeze, he panics. “Why did you both have to be dumb?”
“Ok, uh last time I checked, it was midday, so why does the world feel like it's turning into night?” Mexico’s insides felt like they were swimming.
“Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. Listen to me, if you see a light at the end of this dark tunnel, DO NOT GO TOWARDS IT. You hear me? No vayas hacia la luz al final del túnel. (Do not go to the light at the end of the tunnel.)”
“Hey, can we keep the convo in English so we can understand what you guys are yelling at eachother?” Russia still does not know Spanish.
America glared at him. “Hey so, my best friend is kind of dying right now. Is it my fault I wanna comfort him in a language he’s familiar with?”
“No, he’s right.” Mexico grimaced trying to sit upright. “They need to know what’s happening.”
“Yes, and I need you to stay alive!” America could begin to feel the tears prick his eyes. Not now. It’s too early. (Idk wtf he means, Mexico has been around for almost 500 years atp).
“I’m trying to mi amor! (mi amor = my love)”
America stopped.
“Hey, remember Russia’s comment about keeping it in-”
“Shh.” Russia put a hand on China’s shoulder and shook his head.
“W-what was that?” America tried to focus on Mexico’s features but he couldn’t (CUZ HE WASN’T WEARING HIS FUCKASS GLASSES AGAIN.)
“I-it’s not important.” Mexico stuttered out. (Ok, we’re gonna pretend he’s not dying while this confession takes place.)
“No. I heard that. We are not gonna skip over that.” America shook his head. “We’ve skipped over everything else, we are not going to skip this.”
“Ok, ok, so what? It’s nothing big! It’s the uh.. The blood rush!” Mexico muttered out an excuse.
“Your wound stopped bleeding.”
“You know what I mean!”
“No, no I don’t. I don’t think I know you anymore!”
A moment of silence followed before the two realized they were on borrowed time.
“Favorite color?”
“Still red.”
“Fav food?”
“Churros.”
“Fav sport.”
“You know this one.”
“Yeah no, you’re right, it’s football- not the one I made.” America smiled.
“See? You still know me.” Mexico smiled.
America’s smile faded. “I'm gonna miss you.”
“I’m not gone yet.” Mexico grinned. “Y todavía te amo. (And I still love you.)”
“¿Incluso esta versión? (Even this version?)”
“Cada versión. (Every version.)”
America hugged Mexico tightly. “Yo también te amo (I love you too)”
Anyways, now that we are all crying (including the gays above), I’m gonna skip the too traumatising part.

Oh wait.
No I’m not.
MWUAHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHHA (I’m so evil).
1 minute
2 minutes
3 minutes
Time was going too slow and not fast enough at the same time.
Mexico was losing strength, China was losing patience, Russia was losing his cool, and America was losing his best friend.
“When are they going to be here?” (Ok, just an FYI, I have no idea how fast it would actually take an ambulance/the police to arrive so don’t believe in time rn) Russia had started to lose it. “The shooter should be out of FUCKING BULLETS BY NOW.”
“Ok, you have a point there. How many bullets does this guy have?” China was trying to peak over the edge of their shitty barrier.
“Plot hoes.” I say, descending from the heavens.
“WHAT.”
I ascend back up to the heavens.
“He just has an infinite amount of bullets now doesn’t he?” Mexico went from looking pained to looking pissed.
“Omfg we’re screwed.” America held Mexico closer to him (they need to fuck now /j).
“Oh, I see the light you were talking about now.” Mexico squinted his eyes. “Actually, no I don’t, I’m just tired.”
“Fall asleep I fucking dare you.” Idk who says this, you guys can decide.
“But I’m tired.”
“Look at me, Mexico, you need to survive. If you die now, then you won’t be alive to see Canada’s reaction to the troll! Or him getting laid!” America held Mexico at arms length. “The only reason I’m not shaking you right now is because if I do I feel like your head will fall off.”
“Just like old times, no?” Mexico grimaced.
“Eh, he had apples back then. And he was a girl.” Russia shrugged. “You need to get your facts right.”
“I’m sorry, what was that last one?” America stared daggers at Russia.
“Uh- you need to get your facts right?”
“No. The other one.” America seethed through his teeth.
“Oh, that you were a girl?” Russia looked between the two and then realized his ass was dead.
America had gone silent. “Who. Told. You. That.”
“It was nobody! Pure intuition!” Russia tried to shrug this one off.
“Mexico.” America snapped his head back to look at Mexico. “You told him, didn't you?”
“Tell him what?” China crossed his arms. “I’m still here!”
“America used to be a gir-” That was all poor Russia managed to get out before getting choked by America.
“YOUR ASS IS DEAD MEAT VODKA BEAR.” America had Russia in a chokehold and was dragging him to the edge of the barricade.
“OMG, CALM DOWN! Your best friend is dying!” China immediately lunged forward to stop the two.
America stopped and looked back towards Mexico.
Ok, choose your storyline!
“I hope he dies.”
Stop everything and go back to helping.
The finish is gonna be the same.
I’m a sucker for gay ppl so… 2 it is!
America stopped trying to sacrifice Russia to Umlilo1 and instead went over to be near Mexico again.
1Umlilo is the trans masc god of fire for Stick City
“Don’t expose me like that again.” America grabbed his hand. “I would’ve preferred it if it had stayed secret.”
“I’m sorry, I just needed help understanding what was going on between us using a source that wasn’t family.” Mexico was starting to feel tears and tried to choke them back.
“Dude, don’t start crying cuz if you start crying then I’m gonna..” America was also holding back tears.
“Cry all you want. This may be the last time you guys see each other again (considering what the author is doing, who hurt you?1)” China stood rational and stern.
The two looked at each other and hugged.
“Don’t let me leave.” Mexico sobbed.
“I’m trying.” America cried back.
Ok, this song is NOT helping. Where did my Mitski go? Oml- not the ads.
By the time the ambulance arrived, Mexico was pretty much gone. He wasn’t holding onto anything, he was learning to fly without wings to stay alive.
Anyways- skip skip.
Mexico is not dead. Not yet. He’s in the hospital, not waking up. It’s bad when somebody dies because of you, but it feels worse when they’re in pain because of you.
Anyways, after America was found dead with his note and everything, the duty of taking care of the states immediately fell upon Canada. In other circumstances, it would be split 25/25 between Canada and Mexico. But Mexico still hasn’t woken up.
“I’m going out.” Michigan was dressed up in warm clothes.
“To where.” Canada was so tired, the last thing he needed was a missing state.
“To hang out with Finland.”
“Alright, just come back safe.”
Nobody.
“Yeah…” Michigan paused at the door. “Don’t kys.”
Canada looked up, but Michigan was already gone.
He sighed. These poor kids, having your father kill themselves must be terrible. Then again, their father was my brother so I guess we’re all grieving.
America’s death had made Michigan and the other states more social somehow. Guess that’s was seeing somebody commit suicide does to you. I wouldn’t know tho.
“Anyone home?” Ukraine knocked on the door.
“It’s still unlocked.” Canada called out.
Ukraine walked into the room. “You good?”
Canada chuckled, “No.”
“Naturally.” Ukraine took a seat next to Canada. “How are you holding out?”
“I’m starting to understand America’s reason.”
“Are the states that bad?”
“No, but his boss is so much worse than how I thought he could be. I breathed incorrectly and he thought that was a threat I was going to kill him.” Canada groaned and leaned back on the couch. “You being here makes it better.”
Ukraine smiled. “Glad I could help you in some way.” They snuggled up to Canada. “Watcha gonna watch?”
Canada paused to think about it. “Idk, probably some true crime documentary. I’ll probably get distracted half way through tho.” Canada looked at Ukraine.
“Oh?” Ukraine looked Canada up and down.
Ukraine is non-binary btw. I forgot to mention that earlier lol.
“You don’t think they’ll mind?”
“I don’t think they’re here.” Canada laughed and leaned in to kiss Ukraine.
Suddenly, two knocks were heard at the door.
“Who could that be?” Canada got up and walked towards the door.
Mexico stood outside the door looking like a wreck. “Heh, hola..?”
“Holy fuck dude you’re awake!” Canada grabbed Mexico into a big bear hug. “Thank the stars and the heavens above!”
“Mexico?” Ukraine had gotten up to see what was happening. “Omg, it’s really you!”
“Hey. Can you let me go now? I don’t think another near-death experience would be good for me right now. Anyways, where’s America? I’ve been waiting to see him ever since I woke up!” Mexico grinned, shoving Canada away.
The smiles on Canada and Ukraine's faces froze.
Ukraine looked down as Canada took a deep breath to explain.
“You see, America isn’t around anymore.” Canada rubbed the back of his neck.
“Que? The biggie said he’d be here waiting for me when I woke up!” Mexico put his hands on his hips. “Where is that loser?”
“Mexico stop.” Canada stopped Mexico from entering.
“He’s dead, Mexico.” Ukraine stepped forward. “Has been. He killed himself 6 months ago.”
Mexico’s smile disappeared as he stared at the two. “W-what?”
“He’s gone man.” Canada looked at Mexico. “I’ve been looking after the states ever since.”
“Ha ha, funny prank. Where is he?” Mexico shoved Canada off him and went in.
“Mexico, we’re not lying!” Ukraine shouted after him.
Canada put a hand on their shoulder and shook his head.
“Where is he?” Mexico looked at the two, breathing heavily.
“Follow me.” Canada walked outside, Mexico and Ukraine in tow.
After walking for a while, Canada stopped. “He’s right here.”
Before him, was America’s grave. Covered with flowers and candles and what not.
Mexico fell to his knees in front of the grave and began to cry.
Canada and Ukraine exchanged a somber look. What could they do? America was gone. Nothing can change that now.
“Aren’t you his older brother? Weren’t you supposed to look out for him?” Mexico turned to Canada, his grief overflowing. “You should’ve been there for him!”
“He wouldn’t let me.” Canada replied. “He wouldn’t let anyone.”
“That should’ve been a sign! That should’ve told you something was wrong!” Mexico stumbled back. “He could’ve been saved….”
“There is nothing we can do now.” Canada turned around and left, leaving Mexico behind.

I hope you guys are well fed. 🙂
While sobbing by the grave, an eagle swooped down from the heavens and gave him a letter.
“What the ufck America.” Mexico had stopped crying to stare at the eagle in front of him. He picked up the letter and read it. It was still that same crappy handwriting from way back…
Hey ho! It's me, America. Yeah I’m not actually dead (Sorry Canada)! If you're reading this then that means Pedro did his job right for the first time in years. Uhhh I kinda got kidnapped while coming back from the trip and from what I gathered, the replacement for me killed themselves. Yikes. Poor Liberia. :(
Anyways- come get me. It smells here.
United States of America
P.S. I’m in like a desert bordering a forest somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Pls come get me. The captors are ugly.
Wtf Ame. This is not what mentally sane people do.
He’s right. Sane people are eating mac & cheese rn. That was some pretty good mac & cheese. Yummy.
Where were we again? Oh yes. Mexico being a Gacha kid.
“NO-”
Right right. Finding the note.
Soon after finding the note, Mexico headed back to the house. Upon returning he found the door had been locked. Outside waiting was Alaska.
“Oh, hey there!” Mexico looked up at the girl. She was super tall. Good jesus.
Alaska signed to Mexico, I’m still deaf.
“Oh right! Shit, lo siento!” Mexico slapped his forehead and brought out a note pad. On it he wrote, Locked?
Alaska took the notepad and wrote Yeah.
Mexico looked at what she wrote and sighed. Canada you f/cking dumbass. Mexico wrote on the pad Who were you with?
Japan. We watch sad anime shows together when one of us is feeling sad.
Mexico giggled to himself. America always tried to make sure his states had good influences. Suddenly, he had an idea. He quickly wrote it out on the pad and handed it to Alaska.
She gave him a thumbs up.
Using her help (she was as strong as she was tall), Alaska lifted Mexico up to the second floor window. They always left that one unlocked.
Mexico burst in through the window because having a tall teenager does not mean she knows how to balance your combined weight.
Once in, Mexico noticed there were other people in the room.
“Get out.” Canada was tangled in the sheets with Ukraine.
“Oh my god you’re finally getting laid!” Mexico smiled.
“GET OUT.” Canada yelled, throwing a pillow at him.
“Ok! Ok!” Mexico scrambled out the room. Once out, he smiled to himself.
Canada had no rizz.
“It’s a shame you aren’t here.” Mexico lifted up America’s note and sighed. He walked to the door where Alaska was waiting with the notepad.
What happened?
Mexico looked at the girl.
Canada’s getting laid
FINALLY.
With that, Mexico burst out laughing. Alaska smiled. She always liked making people laugh.
“Oh god, you’re a funny kid.” Mexico wheezed, standing upright to ruffle her hair.
Alaska smiled brighter.
“Whew, alright, let’s get you to bed.” Mexico offered up his hand to the girl.
Alaska nodded obediently and followed him to her room.
Sleep tight kiddo. Mexico had written on the notepad.
Alaska went to bed that night with a smile on her face.
Ok guys, bad news. Mitski won’t stop playing. You guys know what this means. Angst.
Lmao, good luck losers.
That night, Mexico had a terrible dream. He was holding somebody. They were dying. Behind him, somebody was shooting guns and yelling orders. His brain felt scrambled. He was breathing heavily as the images began to clear. He was holding America, China and Russia were shooting at.. Somebody idk man. Everything was still swimming. No, no, no.. they were supposed to be saving him. Why was he still dying? Not again. He can’t lose his best friend again. GOD DAMMIT MITSKI IS GONE. Anyways, Mexico wakes up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily.
“Hey, hey, you good?” Canada dropped his axe and attempted to comfort Mexico.
“Why were you wielding an axe in my room?” Mexico sideeyed Canada.
Canada stopped his attempt at comfort. “Uh. You know too much.”
“Dude, you got laid.”
Canada’s face turned even more red. “Shut up homo.”
“With Ukraine? Dude, you’ve gotten yourself onto the hitlist of several people.”
“Shut up! You slept with my brother!”
“NO I HAVEN’T. I’VE BEEN IN A COMA IDIOT.” It was Mexico’s turn to be flustered now.
“But you want to.”
Mexico buried his face in his hands.
“Not so funny when you’re the one being charged now is it?”
Mexico sighed, dug through his drawer and handed Canada the note he found yesterday.
Canada’s eyes widened. “Where did you find this?”
“Pedro dropped it off at the grave.”
“Who tf is Pedro?”
“His pet Eagle.”
“He has a pet Eagle?”
Mexico shrugged. “Idk, apparently.”
“Ok, who was that then?”
“Idk, Ame did mention something about finding his whatchamacallit… skin walker…? Y’know, the copy cat thing?”
“Yeah. Ik what you’re talking about…” Canada stopped his wonder and paused. “Do you actually think this is him? Surely we would’ve noticed if they weren’t him.”
Mexico looked down. “I-I have to. I don’t want to imagine a world without him.”
Silence filled the room.
“Does this mean we’re gonna have to exhume the body?”
“Oh no, they’re too far gone now. We’re gonna be looking at bones!” Mexico chuckled.
Canada smiled, “Yeah, you’re right. It’s not like we can just contact a forensic anthropologist out of thin air.”
“D.C. is a forensic anthropologist.” Georgia was leaning against the doorway.
“He just has a state for everything doesn’t he?” Canada sighed.
“He has 50 of them, so it makes sense. Also, D.C. isn’t a state.”
“Don’t play smart with me.” Canada gave Mexico a nudge.

Uhhhh time skip bc I’m lazy and don’t wanna write out all the events. :3 Anyways, nothing happens during the timeskip (you guys are lucky Mitski isn’t playing rn). They contacted China and Russia and a couple of other countries, plus gathered up all the states and devised a plan to save him. He had most likely not been captured by a country, nobody would be that stupid.
“He complained about them being ugly?” France looked up from the note. “That’s my kid, no DNA test needed.”
(I so desperately need to study for my geometry test but I don wanna 🙁). Future me now, that was a terrible idea and now you’re gonna fail.
“Tell me again, why do we need so many people?” China was looking around the room.
“Idk, the creator just wanted to include other countries for some reason.” Mexico shrugged.
I descend from the heavens and announce to the room, “I need to familiarize myself with your connections to him, also, plot hoes.”
I ascend back up to the heavens.
“See?”
“She just does that?” Britain looked utterly disgusted.
“Kinda.” Russia mumbled. He hated existing with more than 5 people in a room.
“Well, he said something about being between a desert and a forest, and we can assume he’s somewhere in the Middle East. Is there any forest in the Middle East?” Japan looked up from her computer.
“Well?”
“Hold up, I’m only just now doing my research.” I say.
“Dear god, we were created by an idiot.” China slapped his forehead.
“There are forests here:.” Russia looked surprised by what he said.
“How on fuck’s Earth did you manage to say a picture?” Britain looked stunned.
“I-I dunno man.” Russia is still processing what he just said.
“Yeah, they’re here: .” Now Japan looks surprised by what she has said.
“Ok, that’s kinda freaky.” South Korea looked up from their phone.
“Shut up, I’m only just now doing my research and FLIES KEEP LANDING ON MY FUCKING COMPUTER.” I continue to kill and strip off the wings of 7 more flies.
Silence.
“Just don’t make me say another picture and we cool.” Russia says.
ARHGHGHHGHGHUGHGHHHHH THERE'S MORE IM GONNA KMS.
…
The group looked at each other.
I fucking hate flies.
Hold up, trying to figure out where to place him… ok I got it now. Anyways, the pictures were turned into maps on the table.
“Ok, so building from there… which ones can we rule out?” Mexico looked at the maps.
“Well, we can rule out Saudi Arabia. Not much going on there.” Britain put a red slash over Saudi Arabia.
“Turkey feels too forested and also, it’s Turkey.” South Korea pointed to Turkey.
“Why is that an option?” Kosovo asked.
“Woah! Who- wher- what are you doing here.” China jumped back.
“Calm down, I’m not a spy.” Kosovo rolled his eyes. “I’m here to help. I’m Kosovo.”
“Oh yes, you’re one of 34736487236 problems Europe has.” France glanced at him.
“Eh, who cares? We need all hands on deck.” Canada shrugged.
Ok, I’m bored. You know what that means!!!!!!!!!!!! Time skip. Oh? What’s this I hear? Is that… MITSKI???? Oh hohohohoo. You guys are gonna get it. (IM JOKING).

So basically they find out he’s located in Iran because of a ransom video. Yeah… They tracked its location to find out where it’s from so they could go rescue somebody…
Uh yeah. Anyways. On team rescue there is…: Mexico, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Russia, China, Japan, and Kosovo.
Japan is in charge of everything technical, Kosovo is there as last resort emotional support, Russia and Mexico are going to be on bodyguard duty, New Zealand is the medical person, Canada is the brains along with China. China is more of the face. He’s gonna be going into bargain and shit. Oh, there might also be a state or two.

“Alright, we’re here.” Japan's voice came in through the earpiece.
“Copy that.” Kosovo was getting jitters. Finally, he was a part of something world wide!
“Ok, so me, Japan, and New Z are just gonna chill with the vehicles?” Canada’s voice came through clear as day.
“Sounds about right.” China replied. They had gone over it a million times. China would go in to bargain while Russia + Mexico got to work on getting America out.
“Why did we bring the kid again?” Russia asked, keeping his voice low so Kosovo couldn’t hear.
“Why not have an extra hand? He’ll be my look out while I bargain.” China had grown attached to the new nation.
“Yeah, plus he’s a cute kid.” Mexico agreed with China.
Russia sighed. “He better not bring us down.”
“I won’t.” Kosovo answered.
Russia looked away.
“Ok, go in now.” Japan told them.
The group of 4 headed in through the doors.
“Woah. I was not told there were gonna be stairs.” Mexico looked up. They went on forever.
“Sweet Jesus, how tall is this thing?” Russia had to take a step back.
“Doesn’t matter, just go.” Canada tried to get the group to move on. They were being timed.
“Up we go.” China ascended the stairs.
Ok, the stairs took 5 years (exaggeration) and when they finally reached the top, China, Russia and Mexico were almost all out of breath.
“Who needs that many stairs?” Mexico wheezed.
“Nobody!” China gasped.
The group took a minute or two to collect their bearings.
“Alright. I’m heading in.” China whispered into the earpiece.
“You don’t think it’s kinda weird how deserted this place is?” Kosovo asked quietly.
“No. Most ransoms go like this.” Mexico answered.
“Do you have experience?” Kosovo raised a brow.
Mexico was silent.
“Alright, go get’em tiger!” New Zealand cheered from the earpiece.
China entered the room. There was a table with one man sitting behind it flanked on both sides by big burly men.
“Hello.” The man sitting said. He had a thick Iranian accent.
“Good evening.” China nodded his head.
The sitting man grunted and gestured for him to take a seat.
China sat down in the wobbly chair.
“So, you here to pay the ransom?” The man grinned.
“Yes. But first, I wanted to make an offer.”
“Oh?”
Bargaining bargaining yatta yatta (I don’t know anything about bargaining).
From outside the room, Mexico and Russia had left Kosovo standing there while they looked for where America was kept. Kosovo stood guard by the door, making sure to take in his surroundings to the fullest.
No easy exit. Rickety stairs, extremely good ventilation however. But it seems like it can be blocked off easily. While looking around, Kosovo noticed something. Where do these wires lead to?
Kosovo followed the wires to another room. There were more men here.
“Alright, in a couple of minutes Isaiah will be exiting the room to ‘think about it’. While he’s gone, we’ll pull the lever flooding all the rooms with gas!” One man was sitting next to a bunch of computers all showing different rooms.
“He thinks he is so sneaky, bringing his other two big friends. Well, size can’t fight off poison gas! Hah!” This man was looking over the other’s shoulder.
“This will kill all of them, correct?” asked a tall man in a trench coat.
“Yeah.”
“Good. I will be leaving then.” Trench coat man picked up the suitcase and began to exit the room.
Kosovo hid in a crack in the wall and when the door opened, he was hidden.
This probably isn’t all they have planned.
Kosovo alerted the others through his earpiece and told them to make sure there were no closed doors as he walked back up to his spot. He saw the bargaining man exiting the room with his body guards and when he checked, China was nowhere in sight.
Oh that’s not good. Shit.
“Hey where are you guys?” Kosovo asked into his earpiece.
“We’re waiting for you in the vehicle, it was a false alarm.” Japan answered.
“Ah, ok. I’ll be heading out.” Kosovo turned to leave but was hit with something that knocked him unconscious. Before he went out, he made sure to make some sort of noise to alert the others he got hit.

The bag was lifted off America’s head abruptly.
“This is all you got? Epilepsy?” America asked. This has been happening quite a lot today.
“Shut it. We got a surprise for you.” The torturer answered. Well, at least that’s how we’re gonna refer to him.
The circulation in America’s hands had left because of how tightly the rope was tied around them. Well, it was rope and then metal and then wood. They made sure he would NOT escape.
“Ok, seriously, are all of these wristbands necessary?” America asked. He needed his hands.
The torturer grunted and pulled back the curtain separating America’s view from the rest of the room.
A man was holding Kosovo locked in a cage.
“K! What are you doing here?” America’s expression turned serious. Why would they kidnap him? He has nothing to do with me? He’s just a kid.
Kosovo looked weary, “Huh? W-what? W- I came here to come save you!”
“By yourself? Do you have a death wish?” America was shocked.
“Uhh… I mean, the others said there was nothing they could do.” Kosovo looked around the room warily. “Where are we by the way?”
“My room of information extraction!” A voice boomed.
“That’s a terrible name.” America said, point blank.
The torturer groaned.
“Mm. I don’t like you. Ok, you can start early!” the voice boomed again.
“Start what early?” Kosovo seemed scared.
*cue Mitski*
The torturer headed over to the cage where Kosovo was and began to hit him. Sharp, slow, painful hits. With his fists, his legs, he was using Kosovo as a punching bag.
“HEY! HE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, WHY ARE YOU HITTING HIM?” America yelled out across the room. This is why he shouldn’t be saved. Others get hurt.
“Stop! Stop! I’m sorry!” Kosovo cried out, but the torturer didn’t stop.
“I won’t do it again please! Молим вас! Молим вас! ИЗВИЊАВАМ! СТОП! (Please! Please! I’m SORRY! STOP!)” The pain was killing him, and America couldn’t do anything to help.
“Hey! He said stop!” America struggled against his confinements, toppling the chair but still not being able to get out. As he watched the life get beaten out of Kosovo, it reminded him of his childhood. Him as a colony, getting hit by his father, how he could barely survive because he had no food. The situation Mexico was in when he came back. Something broke. Not inside him, not in his soul, literally something broke.
As America broke free from the constraints, he left his arms behind. He had ripped them off in order to save Kosovo.
He wasn’t going to let another kid suffer like how he did. No other person should have to go through that.
The torturer stopped, turning to look in terror at the sight before him. The room fell silent, apart from Kosovo’s cries as evidence of the torturers crime, it almost sounded serene.
America breathed heavily. “He said… stop.”
One step
Two step
America advanced forward, gaining speed, gaining anger, gaining rage, gaining strength, gaining power, gaining his arms again. As he rushed forward to tear apart the torturer, his arms grew back, allowing him to be rid of the problem. To serve justice. To do his part.
With the remains of the torturer's body being spattered across the room like a painting by Jackson Pollack, America turned back to Kosovo, expecting him to look at him like a monster.
Instead, when America knelt down and offered his hand, Kosovo dragged himself to America.
“Ја-ја желим-ња г-иди х-х-хо-кући. (I-I w-wan-nna g-go h-h-ho-home.)” Kosovo sobbed into America’s chest.
America carried Kosovo out.
America and Kosovo got back home somehow. (Idk, I’m losing plot ideas.)
America knocked on the door and Mexico opened it and stared at him.
“Hey.” America gave a sad smile.
Mexico stared at him, his vision swimming. “Are you back?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not gonna leave again.”
“No.”
Mexico embraced America in a fierce hug.
Kosovo looked away, rubbing his arm.
“Ay! Are you ok? What happened? Did he do this to you? I swear-” Mexico immediately separated from America to help Kosovo.
“No, no! He saved me! He tore off his arms to get out of his restraints and killed the dude who did this to me! He’s my hero.” Kosovo quickly explained.
“What?”
“I guess I did do that…” America scratched the back of his head.
Anyways… sometime later.
“Canada got laid?!” America looked genuinely shocked.
“Omg, can we move one from this?” Canada buried his face into his hands.
“No way dude! You got LAID.” America punched Canada in the arm.
“Please set me free from this torment.” Canada groaned.
“Hah, you’re never escaping this!” Mexico laughed.
The three were hanging out together. It had been a while since they last did something like this.
“It’s not gonna be so funny when I’m the one joking about how you two slept with eachother!” Canada retorted.
Almost immediately the bickering stopped.
“Hmph, that’s what I thought!” Canada sat upright, his arms crossed against his chest.
Mexico and America shared a look.
A look of fear overtook Canada. “L-look, I was joking! I swear. We can talk this out right? Please? For your big bro?”
“Hah! You already used that one!” Mexico snorted.
“Out he goes!” America dragged Canada out the room and locked him out.
“You can’t keep me out here forever!” He shouted.
“Watch us!” America cackled.
Ah yes, the sweet norm everyone looks forward to.
Later into that night, when the mood died down, Mexico asked America a question.
“Do you love me?” Mexico whispered.
“Huh?”
“Do you love me?” Mexico repeated, getting louder.
America stopped what he was doing.
“Yes.”
Mexico looked up at him.
“Yes, I do like you.” America answered.
Silence.
Mexico’s heartbeat quickened.
“Do you like me? This me. Not the little girl you used to gossip with.” America looked Mexico straight into his eyes.
“I’ve loved every version of you.”
“Then I won’t regret this.”
“Regret wha-” Mexico began but was quickly silenced by a kiss.
America pulled back, smiling. “That.”
Anyways, then they fucked cuz they freaky like that.

Chapter Text

Idiots. They’re idiots, I’m an idiot, everyone in this room is an idiot. China hated socializing. Especially when it came to doing it with America.

He’s so loud and obnoxious, I’m doubtful he even realizes the others have stopped paying attention to him.

“You do realize nobody is listening to you, right?” 

America glanced at China, “Yeah, but you are.”

That left China quiet.

“You always listen, that’s why I just keep talking.” America explained, “Cause you’re still listening.”

China didn’t realize America could tell he was actually listening to him. His ideas were often wild and outrageous, but it was fun to hear him ramble about it. It made it seem like… a fairytale of sorts. China supposed that’s why he liked listening to him. It was because he made things feel like there was a good ending to these… chapters of life.

“You don’t need to do that just for me.” China whispered.

“Why not? Why would I talk to other people for short amounts of time if they’re not going to listen when I could talk to you for hours on end and you’d listen to everything?” 

China was taken aback. “I had always thought you didn’t care what others think about you.”
“Not caring about what others think and not letting what others think affect you are two different things. Not caring means it doesn’t hurt. Not letting it affect how you interact with people means that it can still hurt.” America explained. “Just because I don’t let it affect me doesn’t mean that I don’t think it’s not hurtful or mean.”

China thought about it. He always tried to live up to others expectations while also being himself. He had never thought about people like America who didn’t let what others thought ruin him. In fact, he often envied it. (6 7)

“I didn’t notice how highly you thought of me.” China remarked.

America shrugged. “Honestly, my boss says enough for me and 6-7  of my states.”

China chuckled at this. America’s new boss was a mess.

“So, how’s it going with him anyways?” China asked.

“Ugh, I hate him. I need him to die of diabetes faster.”

“He’s diabetic?"

“No, but I wish he was.”

“He hasn't done anything too… physical, has he?” China asked. Recently, America has been showing up wearing longer fingerless gloves or long sleeved shirts.

“If I say anything, you probably won’t see me tomorrow.” America sighed.

“I wish we could do something about him.” China said, sympathizing with America. “I still don’t get how he won.” 

“Not enough sensible people voted, plus he most likely cheated.”

“Well, if you ever need anything, there are people who can help.”

America sighed, “If only it was that simple.”

And with that, he walked away.

China felt a pang of pity as he watched the retreating figure. It’s not enjoyable having a shitty boss. Not to mention, America was usually such a fun person to hang around with. His energy and passion for everything truly made sure one could never go bored around him.

China pondered on why it was specifically America he felt this way to. There were plenty of other countries with similar personalities that he could hang around with, but he kept on sticking with America. 

Hm. Weird. China shrugged, probably nothing. (It is not in fact, ‘nothing’.)

Anyways, time skip. China continues to hang out with America, Mexico, and Russia more often. The feeling of love he gets he just passes off as a ‘strong sense of friendship’ (it's more than js friendship). But this strong sense causes him to…. Uh… what's the word? Drift off? Day dream? Romantisize, freeze up???? Idk, but you get the idea. 😞 gay ppl. Amirite?

Anyways, it was around this time that China realized this “strong sense of friendship” was actually love and he was dense asf. What a lovable idiot. (I’m in social studies writing this rn).

And so, as time went on, China felt it was becoming harder and harder to be around them without having romantic fantasies and almost doing dumb shit. Like saying how he felt aloud.

Can you imagine that? The cool and collected great China falling for the world’s two biggest idiots. Eh, sounds like your typical Monday.

Uhhh wait, where was I?

No matter. I’ll just end this chapter and feed all of you the mpreg you’ve been waiting for. Tomorrow.

Oh wait, no I’m not. (Yes I am)

Chapter Text

Looking at the title of this chapter, one might assume that this is the chapter where the smut comes in. I am here to tell you, idfk. All I know is that they are together now and very gay.

Anyways, I’m also currently creating a Blooket for all 37568723658763497563792870 geometry terms I have to memorize. #multitasking

This chapter’s focus will just be funny moments (Sparky) that the gays have encountered (Sparky).

China & Russia had been invited (threatened) to visit America & Mexico in their home. (So look, before any of you guys ask about the living arrangements and how that works, I DONT KNOW).

Before arriving the two had been told that it was just going to be them, Sparky (the pet chihuahua), and maybe a state or two. Neither of the two were allergic to animals so they thought it was unnecessary to let them know an animal would be there too. What they were allergic to was socializing, so knowing the small children of the states were gonna be there was helpful (they tried to cancel plans and failed). 

Having no other choice than to visit, the two sighed in disappointment. They really didn’t wanna go. But they didn’t have no fucking choice so off they went! Anyways, they arrive.

Knock knock (door sounds or whatever).

Hawaii looked up from her music sheet. Ah, these must be the friends Papa told us were coming.

She reached the door and peeped through the mail slot since she was too short to reach the peep hole. “Hello!”

China looked down at the mail slot. “Oh! Why hello there. Do you know where America or Mexico are?” He talked slowly. So slowly, Hawaii almost fell asleep.

“Yeah, they’re (insert whatever you want them to be doing here idfk)” Hawaii replied, “Also, do you have a speech impedement?”

The China was too stunned to speak.

Russia had to cover his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

“...” China stared for a couple of more seconds (he’s a bit slow) “Uh- no. No, I do not have a speech impediment, I don’t know what I did that made you think I had one.”

“Well, you were talking really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllly slowly so I just assumed you had a speech impediment.” Hawaii shrugged. “I think my thought process is very rationable.”

“Mhm. Yeah, where is America? Can you go get him for me?” China had a taught smile on his face but you couldn’t really tell because he had a mask on.

“Yeah sure. AMERIKA!!! Pāpā!! (Dad)” Hawaii called out into the house, “Papa! E kiʻi i kāu hoki i waho ma mua o ka hahau ʻana o kēia mau ʻelemakule maikaʻi i kaʻu hoki! (Papa! Get your ass out here before these handsome old men beat my ass!)”

America walked over to the door. “Eh? He aha nā kāne?? No ke aha ʻoe e uē nei ʻaʻohe hoʻoweliweli? (What men?? Why are you yelling there is no threat?)” He looked up. “Oh, China, Russia! You guys are finally here! Me’n’Mexico have been waiting a while for you guys to show up.”

“Dude, your kid thought Chi had a speech impediment!” Russia giggled out.

“It was a simple misunderstanding and was quickly solved.” China immediately cut in, bit too late now though, America’s already busted over laughing.

“OMG, NO, HAHAHAHHHAHHAHA OMG, MY CHEST OH.” America quickly had to compose himself due to his chest pain. “Whew! Ah, Hawaii you can’t just ask people that.”

“No, I had a sound thought process that brought me to that conclusion. I did it just like how you told me!” Hawaii immediately began to defend herself.

“It’s ok kiddo, I’m not mad. Go back to practicing your music now.” America ushered Hawaii away and opened the door so Russia and China could come in.

Now look, I don’t feel like describing this man’s home, mainly because Idfk what his house looks like. Sooo uhhhh, yeah.

“Eyyy!! Look who finally came?” Mexico sat on the floor bc he’s a fucking weirdo.

“Why are you on the floor, this place seems to be fully furnished?” Russia looked around (I think they’re in the living room, idk tho).

“Cuz I gotta clip Sparky’s nails.” Mexico answered.

“Who is Sparky?” China asked.

“Our dog!” America said, bending down to pick up Sparky. Now look, if you remember anything from earlier in this fic (if you’ve read it), then the name ‘Sparky’ might ring a bell. He was mentioned like- 3-4 chapters ago. “3-4 chapters ago? Wouldn’t they be colonies?” You may be asking, yes. Yes they would. So then how is he still here? Idk. Sparky js magical like that. Sparky has been alive for roughly about ~300 years give or take. I want you guys to imagine what a 300 year old chihuahua with no eternal youth would look like. Ok, now make it a seasoned war veteran. Ok, now give it rabies. Ok, now make it angry. Then, multiply that by 3. Now you have Sparky.

Yeah, Sparky doesn’t seem like he should be around kids now should he?

“Forget about, ‘does your dog know he’s alive’, does your dog WANT to be alive?????” China stumbled back from the rabid creature.

“Of course he does! Isn’t that right Sparky?” America coddled the creature as Sparky growled and foamed at the mouth.

“He’s super nice once you get to know him.” Mexico said.

“I don’t think I want to know him.” China muttered.

“And you guys are sure this is a dog?” Russia had also taken a couple of steps back.

“Uh, yeah duh. He’s been a dog since we got him!” Mexico stood up.

“When exactly did you get this dog?” China eyed Sparky warily.

“Uh….. When was it?” America looked at Mexico.

“It was before that, but after that other thing… Was it before that other one?” Mexico thought about it.

“I think it was… So I’d say we got him around… what? ‘53?” America looked back at the other two.

“Like, 1953?” Russia asked. “How is he-”

“No, like 1753.” Mexico replied.

“17??!” China was stunned. “Ok, yeah that settles it. Put the dog down.”

“What do you mean? We still have to trim his nails.” America looked confused.

“Yeah, trim his nails and say your last goodbyes because we are putting that dog to sleep FOR GOOD.”

When I tell you that room erupted into chaos, I mean it was just pretty loud. Like an overprotective father, America immediately pulled Sparky back into a hug and Mexico jumped in front of the two to protect them from China’s evil idea.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” They said

“How could we do that to Sparky?” America yelled.

“He’s been with us forever!” Mexico argued.

“Uh yeah. Now he can finally move on.” Russia said.

“Take one look at that dog and tell me he wants to be alive?” China waved his arms at Sparky who had started having a seizure of sorts.

America held Sparky out in front of him. “You wanna be alive? Don’t you Sparky? Yes you do! Yes you do!”

China slapped his forehead. 

“Dude, that dog needs to go.” Russia said.

“No he doesn’t!!” Mexico argued back. “He’s perfect just the way he is!”

“I’m sure he was at some point, but that point passed 150 years ago.” China rubbed that uhhh… Uhhh the uhhh- the inbetween area that’s like- OH THE BRIDGE! He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Free that poor animal from his misery and end his suffering.”

“I don’t know what you're talking about.” America turned around haughtily.

“Sparky is fine just the way he is!” Mexico said, going around America to comfort Sparky.

“That dog needs to die.” Russia said flatly.

“NUH UH!” 

“Today is going to be a long day,” China muttered.

In the end, Sparky is still left alive. In fact, if you go over there to check for yourself, you will find Sparky standing on the ground just frothing at the mouth. Yeah… he’s survived that one a lot.

Fun fact: Sparky is supposed to represent the barrier between America and Mexico stopping them from being completely honest with each other! He is the "unrequited feelings” the “but what if he hates me now?”. Y’know… the angst 😈

Uhhh I don’t feel like continuing this chapter so….

Chapter Text

Mexico woke with a start.
Don’t get him wrong, celebrating his independence day is nice and all, but the recurring nightmares that come the night before it are NOT.
And it was the same one.
Every.
Single.
Year.
I mean- there were a couple of years where the only bad thoughts he got were anxious ones or war ptsd ones.
But those seemed like dreams compared to this one.
He was tired of being betrayed by his best friend every single year on a day that’s supposed to be happy. It seems like bullshit.
At least the party after it always seems to be better than the last. His friends always seem to outdo themselves.
So instead of sulking in bed, he got up to celebrate his independence day with his friends.
…
Ok, now we’re gonna switch to Malaysia. I’m going to tell you this now, I know nothing about Malaysian history. This means I will be going off the shit random tik toks feed me.
I also have no head cannons for her other than that she wears a hijab and really likes Milo, but that pretty much just canon.
So uh… sorry if this is poorly made 🤕
Malaysia woke up bright and early to get ready to celebrate.
She loved celebrating her independence with her friends! Making sure she looked good was important though.
Which color hijab should she wear? Which outfit? Should she even put on makeup? Decision decisions!
She waits for this day every year, but every time it comes around, she’s always unprepared!
In the end, she went with a golden hijab and put a cute butterfly pin on it with a more traditional outfit on. She was now ready to have a totally awesome day.
…
Papua New Guinea sat quietly in the rainforest. He was bird watching.
Unlike most countries, nobody truly knew when Papua New Guinea’s independence day was. And unlike most countries, Papua New Guinea didn’t really have anyone to celebrate it with.
New Zealand and Australia weren’t really close with him, but then again, Papua New Guinea wasn’t really close with anyone. While Indonesia is the only person that borders him, he’s spending his time with his friend Malaysia for her independence day.
That just leaves the several micronations in Oceania.
None of them really knew each other well.
The person Papua New Guinea was closest with was Australia, but that’s just because they both liked exploring nature. Aussie was too dangerous for Papua New Guinea though.
Papua New Guinea didn’t mind it, he kinda liked it this way. Away from others doing what he likes. Most birds were leaving this point though, since winter was coming to an end.
Seems like no one really wants to celebrate with him.
Ping
Papua New Guinea forgot he had brought his phone to take photos of the birds. He had just gotten a message from someone.
He brought it out from his pocket.
It was from Aussie.
It read, “Hey png, happy independence day! I know you don’t like spending time with people, so I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hang out or wanted me to tell other people abt it. Lmk if you do! I’ve got the connections, I swear!!”
Papua New Guinea thought about it.
It had been a while since he had met people other than those nearby.
He decided to see if there would be any more birds flying by, but after 20 minutes he decided to agree with Aussie's question.
“O.K.”
…
Australia asked Papua New Guinea if there was anyone/place in particular he wanted to meet.
Silence.
“Do you want them to be energetic?”
“No.”
“Do you want them to be shy?”
“No.”
“Do you want them to be relaxed?”
“No.”
“Do you want them to be friendly?”
“Kind of.”
“Do you want them to be nerdy?”
“Um.. I guess?”
“Do you want them to be sporty?”
“No.”
“Do you want them to be a math nerd?”
“No.”
“Do you want them to be a science nerd?”
“No.”
“Do you want them to be an English nerd?”
“No.”
“Histroy nerd?”
“...Yes.”
“Do you want them to be quiet?”
“Not too quiet.”
“Do you want them to talk a lot?”
“No…”
“What do you plan on doing with this person?”
Papua New Guinea shrugged, “I’m not sure…”
Aussie sighed, PNG was making this really difficult.
“Would you rather just hang out with me mate?”
“No thank you. I remember being told that I need to get outside of my comfort zone.”
“I’m glad you think of me as ‘inside your comfort zone’, but you’re really picky, mate.”
Papua New Guinea stayed silent.
Aussie sighed. “Let me ask my friend, he knows far more people than me.”
“What is he doing?”
“The exact same thing you are supposed to have someone doing. Celebrating his friends' independence day.”
“Oh…” Papua New Guinea looked away shyly.
“I’ll tell you what he says in a bit.”
A phone call later.
“Alright, he says he might know some people but won’t be there to introduce you to them.”
“Mm.”
“C’mon mate, be excited! You’re doing something new and exciting!” Australia patted PNG’s back.
Papua New Guinea lacked a reaction. “Mhm..”
Australia frowned, “You do want this right?”
“No, no! Of course I do!” Papua New Guinea immediately flushed with embarrassment. “I- I just… I dunno. What if it doesn’t feel right? How do I explain that? I don’t have your people-charm. What if I lack a connection with them?”
Aussie smiled, “Friendship isn’t something you just snap your fingers and make it appear, it's like bird watching. You have to let the bird come to you. You have to let the friendship come to you?”
Papua New Guinea sighed. “It feels like I’m forcing it now.”
“Hey, it’s not wrong to want to meet new people.”
“...”
“C’mon mate, my friend said that he could spare a couple of minutes to get you guys acquainted.” Aussie nudged Papua New Guinea to follow him. And bc Png is a submissive little fuck- WHAT WHO SAID THAT. Who said that.
Anways, Papua New Guinea followed Ausie to where ever the fuck idfk. 😞
“C’mon losers I ain’t got all day.” America called out to the pair.
“Oh, calm down you oaf!” Aussie yelled back playfully. “We’re allowed to take as much time as we need!”
“Eh, I don’t have that time.” America began checking his non-existent fancy watch on his wrist. “I need to get back before Mexico realizes I cheated in hide’n’seek and left to help you guys.”
Meanwhile (with Mexico):
“WHERE IS HE???” Mexico had searched literally everywhere and had gone as far as to ask the states to expose him, he even used the independence day guilt trip card.
“I dunno man, maybe he left to go help someone out or smth.” Cali shrugged.
Mexico stared at her. “No.”
“Today isn’t just your independence day, it’s shared y’know?” California rebutted. “Maybe he just went to pop in and say hi for a bit and come back.”
“Why would he do that?”
“I don’t fucking know!” California exclaimed. “Just call him or whatever.”
“No need, I’m back!” America came in through the door, carrying some grocery bags. “Just needed to get some stuff.”
“WHY DID YOU LEAVE.” Mexico grabbed America by the shoulders.
“Because I needed to make sure I had the ingredients?” America was surprised by Mexico’s flared temper. “And to help Ausie with his friend?”
“Aren’t I more important though?”
“Oh calm your ass down. I am with you all the time! Besides, the lil’ dude had no one to celebrate with. I had to help him.” America explained, trying to shake off Mexico’s grip.
Mexico sighed. “You do this almost every year.”
“I know man, I’m trying to be better I swear!” America raised his hands in defense.
“Whatever. Can we go back to like, not depression-angsty emo land?” California groaned. “You guys fight like mopey divorced cats.”
Mexico laughed. “Oh like you can say you’re better.”
“I am, as a matter of fact.” California claimed smugly.
Anyways, they go back to their shit. Hooray!
Now, where did I leave off?
Ah yes.
Papua New Guinea hadn’t been told much about the girl that he was meeting. Just that she was nice and liked nature and music.
“Are you sure about this?” PNG asked.
“Nope.” Aussie shrugged. “Good luck!”
Aussie knocked on the door and a girl came out to greet them.
“Hey- oh my. You are huge!” Estonia had to stop and really look at Australia.
“Yeah, I know.” Aussie rubbed the back of his head. “I don’t know where it comes from.”
Estonia looked around Australia. “Hello! You’re the one I was supposed to meet right?”
Papua New Guinea was quiet. “Uhh, I dunno.”
“Yep!” Australia proudly answered, patting PNG on the back and pushing him ahead. “Here he is!”

“Actually, I think I’m fine with just bird watching alone.” Papua New Guinea stammered out.

“It's too late for you to be saying that now.” Australia said, before disappearing into the dark void bc I dunno how he left.

“Huh. He just does that?” Estonia looked mildly unfazed.

“No.” Papua New Guinea was looking around, whether he was looking for Australia or an escape is up to you guys.

“Hm. So, what do you wanna do?” Estonia looked cheerfully at Papua New Guinea. “I haven’t heard much about you, but judging from what you said earlier, I can assume you like nature?”

“Uh, yeah.” Papua New Guinea stood sheepishly at the door.

“Nice! I also like nature a lot, but I don’t have that many birds. Especially now.” Estonia was trying to connect with Papua New Guinea.

“That’s ok… What do you have?” Papua New Guinea looked up at Estonia.

“Well, there’s mountain ranges, forests, lakes, and some cool rocks.” (I might not be remembering the GeographyNow video right…. I’m pretty sure they mentioned rocks though.)

Anyways….. I dunno how to transition this other than using a timeskip but I don’t wanna use a timeskip ‘cause ao3 is making me self conscious about how few words I’m using. 

Eh. Who cares?

TIME SKIP MOTHER FUCKERS.

Anyways, Estonia and Papua New Guinea are now roaming through the Estonian forests.

“Well, I think that birds can be a bit extra, especially the males.” Estonia had moved on from boring conversations into static debates.

“They’re only like that for mating season, they have to do something to attract the taste of a female bird.” Papua New Guinea climbed up a large rock to get a better view of the forest. “I imagine it would be difficult for them to mate here, having to blend in with their surroundings leaves no time for originality in their patterns.”

“The animals here aren’t that bad-” Estonia was cut off by her cellphone ringing from within her pocket.

“Is that you?” Papua New Guinea had been caught off guard and almost fell off the rock.

“Just my phone.” Estonia sighed as she took it out to see who was calling her. After a quick glance at the screen she declined the call and typed a short message to them.

“Who was it?” 

“Just another European country, nothing you need to worry about.” Estonia looked up. “Where did you go?”

“I’m right here.” Papua New Guinea appeared by her side.

Estonia turned her head sharply. “You are a sneaky one, aren’t you?”

Papua New Guinea shrugged. “I guess. Can you tell me who was calling you now?”

“Are you sure you wanna know? It’s not really a big deal.” 

Papua New Guinea nodded his head, his curiosity had to be dealt with.

“It was just Kosovo, he’s having some independence struggle with Serbia right now and keeps on asking me for help, but that boy CANNOT sing.” Estonia shrugged helplessly. “But he won’t get off my back until I help him, so I’ve been trying to avoid him.”

“What does singing have to do with independence?” 

“He’s taken some inspiration from me. It’s how I got mine. Well, for the most part.” Estonia waved her hand.

“Hm. What does he look like?”

“Who?”

“Kosovo.”

“Oh, uh yeah, I got a photo of him right here.” Estonia fished her phone back out and pulled up a picture of Kosovo. (For those of you who are curious, he kinda looks like he has a toned down punk-emo-grunge aesthetic.)

“His clothing looks mad.” Papua New Guinea was interested in who this boy was.

“Eh, he’s usually mad at something.” Estonia shrugged, putting her phone back. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen a genuine smile on his face. Then again, I don’t think I’ve seen a genuine smile on anybody from that family’s face. (She’s talking about the Yugoslavick family)” Estonia soured a bit at that last part.

I feel the urge to skip to yaoi.

I’ll ignore it for now.

But I will put a warning, this specific chapter (which is a minific) will be featuring a rare pair. Oh uhh, and I’m facing writer’s block while writing this, so sorry if it sounds like shit. 

Almost all of the boys in front of me have those fake pot bellies and I’m giggling.

“But if you wanna have him over, we can have him over. It’s your Independence day after all.” Estonia began typing on her phone and after a quick pause began typing faster and more furiously. Another pause. “You sure? He can be a bit much…”

“Mm? I don’t see why that should be a problem. I often get told I can be a bit much.” Papua New Guinea hung from a branch on a tree.

Estonia glanced down at her phone again before saying “Ok… I can make him leave if you need me to though.”

Anyways..… skippity skip skip, yatta yatta yatta I js wanna make’em kiss already 💔

Kosovo was told to meet Estonia by this big rock. Where the rock is, I have no fucking idea, I just wanna advance the plot.

So Kosovo wandered around the forest looking for said rock. He couldn’t find said rock so he took out his phone to text Estonia about how on fucks Earth he was supposed to find this fatass rock when somebody keeps following him- wait a damn minute. Somebody was following him?! 😶

Kosovo snapped his head and looked around the area for a sign of somebody following him. Up, down, left, right, forward, backward, different conjunctions of the directions because he’s not that dumb.

Dammit. Why didn’t I bring a gun for fucks sake. Kosovo knew that his fighting skills weren’t the best, but it’s not like they were terrible. He could still throw a punch or two in.

“Your clothing looks even angrier in person.” 

Kosovo whipped around and looked up in the direction of the voice. The country wasn’t up high or anything, but he was on a ledge with his feet hanging down from it.

“Kosovo, right?”

“Sorry for my bluntness, but who the fuck are you?” Kosovo had to remain on edge. Even if the person in front of him looks like he would grieve over the loss of an already dead leaf.

“Papua New Guinea. I was the one who convinced Estonia to let you come.” Papua New Guinea stood up and walked down from the ledge. “You can call me PNG if my full name is too much for you.”

“Oh… Uhm, yeah alright.” Kosovo stood there awkwardly. “Surely Estonia’s told you some stories about me right?”

“Yeah. Just that you never seem to be happy.” PNG shrugged. “No wonder, most of this place is missing nature. Everything important here seems to be man-made unless you go north.”

“Then why would you invite me??”

“Why not? You seem to be better at being yourself than most of the others here.”

“You can’t tell that.”

“I guess I can’t. I haven’t met many people here yet.” PNG cocked his head. “But you clearly like to express yourself.” He squinted. “But only in others shadows.”

“The fuck does that mean.”

“It means you feel you can only take ideas from others, adding your own style and flash to them in order to properly make yourself but feeling like there is nothing left that could be original to you.”

Kosovo did not like this. This random ass dude he met in the forest was giving him a better diagnosis than any therapist he’d ever met.

“How did you do that?” Kosovo asked, the tension in his body slowly relaxing.

“Do what?”

“Diagnos me better than any therapist could?”

“Uhm, I don’t know. I just do it I guess.” 

“Yes, but you must’ve had some sort of teaching.”

“No…? Not really, I don't think so. I’ve been left alone for most of my life.”

Kosovo stared. This dude was weird asf. But maybe he could use this skill to his advantage. Reading people as easily as PNG could is not easy.

“Say, do you mind if I ask you a question?” Kosovo asked tentatively.

PNG brightened a bit. “Sure!”

“Do you know of a man named America?”

“Oh yeah! I’ve seen him from afar and the only time I saw him up close, he was in a rush to get back to his friend.”

“Can you do what you did for me on him?”

“I mean, yeah. I think…” PNG paused. “Well, he seems very conscious. Like he knows everybody is just using him. He views himself like a pawn in his own game of chess. He’s hiding something from us too. He tells too much to cover it up. He wants to be open, but that would expose his plan. He uses his ego as a power move. He uses it as both a shield and a sword, stopping people from becoming too interested while also just showing enough to make sure they know he’s not that full of himself. And I’m not sure what, but something definitely happened between him and his family and the people he had held close to him. Now there’s this soft silk sheet wall. He’s scared to lift it, so he pushes others past it. Not knowing that it would help him if he just went past it.”

Kosovo stared. Damn, this kid was good.

PNG glanced at Kosovo. “That’s just the basic covering of him. He obviously has a lot more going on, but I’d need to get closer with him to figure out what.”

“Woah. Now that’s really impressive.”

PNG smiled. “Thank you. I didn’t even know it was a skill.”

“Don’t you realize what you could do with this? You could become an empire! You could make millions! You could take down almost anyone with this!”

“By telling them what they are….? How does that work? Shouldn’t they already know that?”

“Yes, but you put it into words. You perfectly manage to describe how they’re feeling!”

“Mmm… I mean, I guess.”

“You guess? Dude, I don’t think you realize how many people struggle with this.”

“How?”

“Well- I dunno. People just aren’t exactly sure how to express themselves that well I guess. Hold up-” Kosovo’s phone was going ping ping ping ping PING PING PING BITCH PICK ME UP AND LOOK AT YOUR FUKCING NOTIFICATIONS PING PING PING PING BITCH PING PING PING PING HOE PING PING PING PING PING THIS IS WHY YOU GET NO BITCHES PING PING PING PING PING.

“Dam. Not only is your clothing angry but it seems your phone is too.” 

“Yeah. It’s Estonia. She’s asking me to look for you since she lost you.”

“Oh! OH. OH NO. I forgot to tell her that I was gonna go looking around for you!” PNG immediately started walking back. “Come on, I’ll tell her I found you!”

“Yeah, I’m just texting her that we’re coming.” Kosovo finished tapping a message on his phone then muted Estonia’s contact. “Alright, how do we get back?”

“Just this way.” Papua New Guinea climbed back up the rocky ledge with ease. 

Kosovo took a little longer, and by the time he got up, he almost couldn’t see PNG. “Wait up for me man!”

PNG paused and looked back. “I thought you would know how to advance quickly in this terrain.”

“I’m not that fast, man.”

“Mm. You might wanna change that then.”

“What.” Kosovo looked confused, but PNG had already raced off. Fuck.

Anyways, they get back to Estonia (Papua New Guinea had arrived there several minutes ahead of Kosovo.

“Oh, there you are! I thought you would have gotten here quicker since you’ve been here more often.” Estonia looked between the two. “Papua New Guinea told me you two were already acquainted, so I guess introductions will be unnecessary.”

“How did he get here so fast?” Kosovo wasn’t exactly dying from the hike, but he wasn’t feeling refreshed either.

Papua New Guinea shrugged. “I told you. It’s you that needs to adjust their pace.”

“Yes, I get that, but how are you fast? You’ve never been here before!” Kosovo gestured towards the rest of the forest.

“Practice.”

“What kind of practice have you been doing???” Kosovo felt like this was going nowhere.

“I’m just used to hiking. From where I grew up.” Papua New Guinea didn’t know what wasn’t clicking for Kosovo.

“Did you grow up in a fucking rainforest or something?” Kosovo sighed, exasperated.

“Uhm, now that I think about it… yeah. I did.” Papua New Guinea took a second to collect his thoughts. “Born and raised in one.”

“You could’ve just said that!” 

“Now, now. It’s barely been 15 minutes.” Estonia didn’t feel like third wheeling yet another group.

“What does time have to do with anything?” Papua New Guinea cocked his head, clearly confused.

“Yeah… what does it matter that it’s only been 15 minutes?” Kosovo raised an eyebrow at Estonia.

“Don’t you dare shift the blame to me, I wasn’t the one who was involved in the argument!” Estonia wagged a finger at Kosovo. She thought he was very childish.

“But you still joined it!” Kosovo said back.

“To stop it! Duh.” Estonia put her hands on her hips.

“It was already coming to a stopping point though.” Papua New Guinea was confused. Why does everyone here hate each other?

“Well, you don’t know that!” Estonia barked back. “It could’ve gone on for hours for all I know!”

“Nah, he actually would know. He’s surprisingly good at profiling and psychology shit.” Kosovo backed Papua New Guinea up.

“I am?” Papua New Guinea looked surprised.

“We already went over this. Your talent, dummy.” Kosovo smacked his forehead.

“Ohhhh. I didn’t know there was a name for it.” 

“You sure he’s good at it? No offense PNG, but you don’t seem like the psychological type.” Estonia was doubting Kosovo. For the couple of hours she had known PNG, the only thing he seemed to be good at and liked was birds.

“Uh, yeah. Just name somebody he’d know or met or something and can give an entire reality check on them.” Kosovo explained. “For free.”

Estonia shrugged. Ehh, why the hell not? “Alright then, who should I ask about then?”

“I dunno.” Kosovo shrugged.

“Wait, what are you guys talking about again?” Papua New Guinea snapped back to reality.

“Your weird talent thing. Do it.” Kosovo urged.

“On who?” PNG was still confused.

“I don’t know, that’s why we’re waiting for Estonia to choose someone!” Kosovo explained, exasperated.

“Alright! Alright! I’m thinking!” Estonia replied.

Kosovo rolled his eyes.

“Uhh, do you know anything about… uh, Romania and Hungary?” 

“He probably doesn’t even know who those people are!” Kosovo exclaimed.

“You were rushing me!” Estonia retorted.

“I could probably figure out a bit if I saw a photo of them.” PNG commented.

“Uh, lemme check if I have any…” Estonia replied, taking out her phone. “Doesn’t seem like it… What about you, Kosovo? You’re closer to them.”

“I probably do.” Ok, I’m tired of writing about how they keep bringing up their phones, so anytime it's mentioned, just imagine their phone is already out.

“Is this a good one?” Kosovo showed his phone to PNG.

“Which one is that?” 

“Right, you have no idea who we’re talking about. Great choice Estonia.” Kosovo grumbled.

“You kept on yelling at me and I panicked!” Estonia exclaimed. (This is a lie, my friend just wanted these countries mentioned)

“Yeah, yeah. Ok, look, this one’s Romania. Got that?” Kosovo showed the phone to PNG again.

“Yes.”

“Ok, and this one’s Hungary.” Kosovo swiped to a different photo.

“Mm. So like, do you just not have any shots of them together or do they just hate each other that much or is there some sort of, like, physical barrier?” PNG trailed off.

“The second one.” Estonia answered. “They aren’t exactly close with one another.”

“Ah. Ok, ok. Um, let's see here.” PNG swiped back to Romania. “This one uses costumes and stereotypes as a way to make them unique, but they complain about being stereotyped. They use these things to showcase what they want you to see, unlike America from when we talked about him earlier.”

“Huh, not bad for just photo analysing.” Estonia remarked.

Kosovo swiped to Hungary. “And her?”

PNG stared at the photo a bit. “She fucking hates Romania. She hates their fake nonchalant attitude, she hates the way people believe and then get ashamed because of how he complains about being stereotyped. She’s tired of his fake pity point system. Especially when he’s crying about things that aren’t that bad, unlike what he’s done to her.”

“How did you get that much from a photo?” Estonia asked, shocked.

Papua New Guinea shrugged. “I dunno. I just use the elements. Like the way they dress, pose, and even look at the camera.”

“So you just kinda… guess?” Estonia asked tentatively.

“It’s an educated guess if that helps.” PNG shrugged.

Anyways, they quiz PNG on more people and soak up the information like sponges. By the time they realize how long it’s been, it’s already dark out.

“Oh shit, we totally lost track of time.” Estonia was leading the group back to her house.  “It’s too late to call somebody to pick you up, isn’t it?”

PNG paused to think about it. “Yeah, probably.”

“Shoot. Look, if you’re too uncomfortable, I can try to drive you back, but you might have to sleep over.” Estonia slapped her face, how could she lose track of time like that?

“I can?” PNG looked excited.

“I mean, if you want to. Kosovo can stay over too if you guys want that.” Estonia was surprised by Papua New Guinea’s willingness to sleep over.

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes! This would be my first one! I’d love to have it with you guys!” PNG hugged Estonia and Kosovo.

Estonia laughed. “Calm down dude! We gotta go get our stuff, and Kosovo needs to go get his.”

“Alright, alright.” PNG let go of the other two.

“Yeah man, I’ll see you soon. No grumpy old man is gonna stop me from making this night a blast for you.” Kosovo punched PNG’s arm playfully.

“C’mon, go get your stuff quicker so we can start already!” Estonia shoved Kosovo off and Kosovo waved back, smiling, as he left the other two to go get his stuff.

“Alright, let’s get back quick!” Estonia grabbed Papua New Guinea’s arm and dragged him back.

…

“Huh, that’s weird, he should be back by now.” Estonia checked the time on her phone again. 10:67 pm.

“Didn’t he say something about making sure an old man wasn’t gonna stop him from coming? Maybe that old man got him.” PNG guess.

“But didn’t you hear him? He said he was NOT gonna let any old man stop him.” Estonia was at a loss.

Knock knock- wait no, I think it’s tap tap. Uhhh… tap tap sounds or whatever bitch

“Do you think that’s him?” PNG asked. “The front door is right there.”

“Well, this isn’t America so it’s most likely him.” Estonia shrugged and went towards the window.

“Surprise mother fuckers!” Kosovo tumbled in through it. “Bet you guys weren’t expecting that.”

“Definitely not when the door is RIGHT THERE.” Estonia gestured towards the door.

“Eh, couldn’t risk that.” Kosovo shrugged.

“Couldn’t risk what? BEING A MENTALLY STABLE INDIVIDUAL??” Estonia put her hands on her hips.

“Uh yeah, but I told you guys I wasn’t gonna let my dad stop me, so I’m not gonna take the risk of him spotting me coming through your door.” Kosovo shrugged. “It’s not that hard.”

“Oh, I’ll show you what’s not so hard.” Estonia rolled up her sleeves looking like she was ready to beat the shit outa Kosovo.

“Why did your dad hit you before you left?” PNG asked, with genuine curiosity.

“WHAT?” Kosovo and Estonia asked at the same time.

“Your jacket. Usually, it’s always hanging off one shoulder and you could see your arm. It’s not that cold out today, you told me so. So why is it suddenly up?” PNG explained it calmly.

Kosovo immediately brought a hand up to his arm (the one where the sleeve was usually hanging off the side) and looked away. “Look dude, it’s nothing big. I told you I was gonna come and here I am. So let’s just get on with it.”

Estonia looked at Kosovo and grabbed his arm. No noticeable pained reaction. “You sure PNG? It doesn’t really seem like he’s hurt.”

“His pupils dilated.” PNG explained, keeping his eyes focused on Kosovo.

“Take off the jacket.” Estonia commanded.

“No, it’s fine! You’re making nothing into a big deal.” Kosovo stammered out.
“Take off the jacket. Now.” Estonia said, again.

“No.”

“Yes Kosovo, I don’t have time for games with you. If you were really fine, you would take off the jacket.” Estonia kept a firm grip on Kosovo.

Kosovo looked at Estonia, then at Papua New Guinea.

“I will physically tear this thing off of you, so it’s either with or without consent the jacket comes off.” Estonia told Kosovo, her voice cold.

Kosovo sighed, and tried to shake off Estonia so he could take off the jacket. “I’m taking it off, you can stop trying to hold me like I’m a prisoner.”

Estonia let go.

“Handprint on the right arm, two bruises on the upper left and a cut just below the elbow.” PNG said in a mechanical voice.

“Dude, what.” Kosovo stopped.

“Ok yeah, there’s no way that’s right.” Estonia agreed with Kosovo.

PNG shrugged. “He’s right there. Go ahead and check it yourself.”

Kosovo took off his jacket and, wow, would’ya look at that. Every mark and bruise and cut PNG had said was right where he said it would be.

“How did you get that? I didn’t even know where some of these were.” Kosovo looked at PNG.

“Well, the scratch below your elbow is from a branch, your sleeve was torn from it. Estonia ever so happened to grab the exact spot your father grabbed, noted by your tensed jaw and dilated pupils when her grip tightened. And the two bruises seem to be from railings when your father shoved you, you came in through the window clearly favoring your right arm even though you're left handed, since that’s the hand you hold your phone with.” As he explained this, PNG pointed to each mark on Kosovo’s arm. “You were also breathing heavily at the window, noted by the steam that was on it, so that’s how I know you were shoved. You clearly had the wind knocked out of you.”

Silence.

“Did I miss something?” PNG asked, worried.

“No. And that’s the problem. You got every single one and how I got them correct.” Kosovo stared.

“You’re probably gonna want a band-aid for that cut. It might get infected.” Papua New Guinea said. “It happened to me once.”

“The infected cut or the abuse?” Estonia asked.

“Mostly the cut.” PNG replied.

“MOSTLY???” Estonia raised her eyebrows.

Papua New Guinea shrugged. “It happened decades- wait, it might’ve been a century ago. Anyways, I’m fine. The issue’s already been solved.”

“The way you talk about this so calmly is kinda freaky.” Kosovo commented. 

PNG thought about it. “Really? I mean, considering the world we live in, it’s not like it’s uncommon.”

“Yeah, that’s not ok.” Estonia said, grabbing the band-aids and whatever else you use to clean a cut. Idk I’m not a doctor. “Now that we’ve finished trauma bonding, what do you guys think we should do?”

“Watch a movie.” Kosovo responded immediately.

“I actually haven’t watched a movie before.” Papua New Guinea said.

“WHAT.” Estonia and Kosovo exclaimed.

“I mean, I spend most of my time in nature and never really saw a point in getting a tv if I wasn’t gonna use it.” PNG stammered out, surprised by the shock of the others.

“Oh, we’re gonna be changing that. Now.” Estonia immediately got up and got the remote (they were in the living room the entire time, trust.) Once she had it, she tossed it to Kosovo. “You. Pick a movie. A good one.” She then ran off to go make movie snacks like popcorn, candy, and other stuff you get at the movie theater for movies… idk man.

“Oh bet!” Kosovo grabbed the remote with eager anticipation. “What do you like?”

“Birds.” PNG responded.

Kosovo’s eagerness faltered. “No, like as in, a genre.”

“Uhmm… nature?” PNG wasn’t exactly sure what Kosovo was asking.

“Ok, I’ll make this easy for you. What kind of books do you like to read?” Kosovo thought PNG must love to read books. 

“Bird documentaries.” PNG responded innocently.

Kosovo grimaced. This kid sure is a nerd. “Anything else? Like fantasy, romance, horror, adventure…. Nothing?”

PNG just sat there.

“Just… birds.” 

“Yep.”

“Ok, I’m back with food. Why haven’t you guys chosen a movie yet?” Estonia sat the food down onto the table and went to fetch blankets from the corner.

“Because the only thing he likes is bird documentaries.” Kosovo replied.

“Ok…? There’s tons of movies that feature birds as main characters.” Estonia said.

“Yes, but when I ask him what genre he likes, the only thing I get back is birds.” Kosovo said flatly.

“Oh.” Estonia put down the blankets before taking a seat. “Then let’s just watch the Avengers. Nothing can go wrong with that one.”

“Great, which one should we start on?” Kosovo began tapping around on the remote, but Estonia snatched it out of his hands.

“The first one. Obviously.” Estonia replied.

“What’s the Avengers?” PNG asked.

Estonia faltered. Pure Vanilla Cookie would be disappointed.

“Well, you’re about to find out.” Kosovo said.

Anyways, since it was already late at night by the time they had finished the entire Endgame series, it was like… 6 or 7 am. (67 hehhehehe)

Ok, slight spoilers (for the movie, not the fic).

So you guys know how Ironman dies at the end right? Well, PNG had fallen asleep on Kosovo when Ironman had taken the Stone from Thanos, so he doesn’t know that he died. 

…

They still don’t know how to tell him he’s dead.

Papua New Guinea woke up very late. It was like…. (dw, I’m not gonna make another 6 7 joke)... 3-4 pm?

He slowly blinked his eyes. “Hey… guys… I fell asleep, what happened?”

“Huh?” Estonia had fallen asleep too. “Whatdoyamean what happened?”

“In the movie. Ironman had taken the jewels from Thanos. I fell asleep, did they win?”

Estonia suddenly became wide awake. “Oh..! I dunno. Let me ask Kosovo real quick.” She nudged Kosovo awake.

“No………….. It’s the weekend…………………..I get to sleep in.” Kosovo muttered.

“Wake up bum. It’s 3:30 pm.” Estonia commanded.

“What?” Kosovo sat up right. “How late did we stay up?”

Hehehehe…

“Till like… 6 or 7 am.” Estonia said. “Quick question, PNG was wondering- hey. I just noticed.” She turned to Papua New Guinea. “Your initials. That’s what you would call a screen shot thingy.”

“Huh. That’s ironic. The dude who’s only touched a computer twice in his life has the same initials as what you would call an image on it.” Kosovo said. “Huh. Anyways, what did you wanna ask me?”

“Oh, do you remember what happened after Ironman got the Infinity Stones from Thanos?” Estonia asked.

“Uh yeah, he-” Kosovo’s eyes widened. “Oh! Um…, yeah, no… I don’t remember. Must’ve fallen asleep. I do know that they win and beat Thanos.”

“Oh, that’s good!” With his curiosity extinguished, PNG felt a tinge of worry. “Um, have you guys gotten any calls or texts overnight?”

Kosovo and Estonia took out their phones.

“Shit!” Kosovo exclaimed as he began rapidly tapping on his phone.

“I didn’t think it was possible to get this many messages!” Estonia said.

“Oh dear. I think that might be from me. We didn’t tell Australia I was sleeping over…” PNG looked away.

“Oh that makes so much sense.” Estonia sighed in relief. “No wonder why it was mostly from the English speakers.”

“Sorry about that..” PNG apologized.

“Don’t worry dude! Half of these messages are just from my father actually.” Kosovo frowned. “He’s so controlling. Everyday it’, ‘You need more friends!’ ‘Stop going out so much!’ ‘Why aren’t you doing this?’, ‘Why aren’t you doing that?’... It’s so annoying.”

PNG peaked over Kosovo’s shoulder. “He sounds really angry.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Kosovo rolled his eyes.

“His father’s been pissy ever since his father died.” Estonia explained.

“Then how is he texting him? He’s dead?” PNG looked back at Estonia.

“No, like, his father’s father.” Estonia replied. “Yugoslavia.”

“Ohhhh.” PNG said, and went back to looking over Kosovo’s shoulder.

Ok, somebody needs to take away my free will bc I wanna make this extremely gut wrenching now.

Fortunately (unfortunately for those reading), the orange man in the office has not taken it away yet. Hehehehehehe…………… 🤗

Papua New Guinea contacted Australia through his old asf phone (I kid you not when I tell you it’s a nokia) and was planning on getting picked up and brought back to his home.

“It was nice hanging out with you guys. I hope we can stay in contact.” PNG smiled at the two.

“Of course man! This was the most fun I’ve had in forever.” Kosovo patted PNG’s back.

“Not like that's a long time. You’re barely 20.” Estonia rolled her eyes and turned to give PNG a goodbye, leaving the raging Kosovo out of sight and out of mind. “You’re welcome to hang out whenever, maybe next time we can come over to your place.”

PNG’s eyes lit up. “Really? Oh wait, I dunno. You guys might find it a bit hot and boring there.” 

Estonia waved her hand. “Eh, we’ll persevere if we can hang out with you.”

PNG smiled. First time liking socializing, how’s he doing?

“Oh thank god they weren’t lying!” Australia reappeared from the void (look, idfk how to make characters enter and exit without it being repetitive. Besides, this is better).

PNG looked back at Aussie and began walking towards him, taking a pause to run back and hug his friends.

“Aw man, now you’re making me sad.” Kosovo jokingly nudged PNG off him.

“That’s because I am sad! If I have to be sad, I’d rather do it with you guys.” PNG protested.

“Oh c’mon, now you’re making me more sad!” Estonia nudged PNG playfully.

Papua New Guinea grinned before running off to where Aussie was standing.

“See ya later birdie!” Kosovo called out.

“Bye K!! Bye Estonia!!!” PNG ecstatically waved at them, before being led off by Aussie.