Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Park Seonghwa possessed an undeniable magnetism for chaos.

It wasn't him seeking it out. It was as if chaos was something real and drawn to him. The irony was that Seonghwa had always been a creature of meticulous planning. At the age of thirteen, his life's trajectory was already plotted on an imaginary chart. Secondary school, a prestigious university, fame, the fabled 'meet-cute' with his soulmate, a picture-perfect wedding, the sound of tiny feet running down the hall. This was the life plan. It was the perfect dream, the life that society often presented as the ultimate achievement, and Seonghwa had wholeheartedly embraced it.

However, life had a wicked sense of humor, or perhaps a cosmic aversion to his neatly laid plans.

Instead of the smooth life he had hoped and strived for, Seonghwa's life unfolded like a series of unexpected detours. The carefully constructed outline began to blur, the sequence of events got scrambled, and he found himself navigating a life lived wildly out of sync from his original design. His life wasn't without joy or satisfaction, far from it. But it was definitely a mess.

“Bonhwa, if you don’t get dressed, I’m leaving you to walk to school by yourself.”

Hearing his son's muffled retort from behind a closed door, Seonghwa just sighed. He hastily packed the scattered papers from the kitchen table into his bag. The sound of eggs sizzling in a pan then drew his focus to the other person present in the kitchen.

Wooyoung was moving around his kitchen, cooking breakfast for the two. "He's beginning to show signs of rebellion."

“He doesn’t have the best role models for that, now does he?” Seonghwa said.

The eggs plopped onto the plate haphazardly, a greasy sheen spreading around them. Wooyoung sighed, "Honestly, my plating skills need serious improvement."

"Youngie, shouldn't you be practicing for your test? Instead of here making us breakfast? Bonhwa, breakfast!" Seonghwa called out in his small apartment. Hearing nothing, he was about to go get his son when the bedroom door opened. His six-year-old came out in a blue long-sleeved shirt and black shorts and Seonghwa smiled at the sight. His son's fluffy hair bounced as he sat down.

“Hey, Uncle Woo.”

“I came all this way to make you breakfast on your first day back to school and all I get is a ‘hey?’”

“He’s cool now, Youngie. All the girls fawn over him at lunch and he gets invited to play football all the time. He has no time for us,” Seonghwa said, reaching over and ruffling the curls, trying to make them look a little more tame. Bonhwa thrived during his first summer class, excelling both academically and socially. Seonghwa was overjoyed to see his son integrate so seamlessly with his peers, a concern that had often kept him awake. As a second-year teacher, Seonghwa witnessed firsthand the cruelty of children and their tendency to bully and torment. However, Bonhwa appeared to be well-liked by everyone, at least according to what Seonghwa observed and what Yunho, Bonhwa’s teacher, reported.

“Ah, a ladies man. Do you have a crush on anyone?”

Bonhwa shrugged his shoulders, “They’re fine, I guess. I’d rather play football than talk with them.”

“Good, girls suck anyway,” Wooyoung said, nodding his head as he placed the food on the table, telling the two to dig in.

“You just say that because you have two boyfriends,” Bonhwa says.

“Of course I am. Girls have cooties.”

“Girls do not have cooties,” Seonghwa said, giving Wooyoung a sharp look. “We don’t discriminate between genders. Everyone is equal and deserves respect, right, Bon?”

“Yep,” Bonhwa said, nodding his head with a mouth full of toast and egg.

Wooyoung looked at Bonhwa, nodding his head in agreement before giving an apologetic look to Seonghwa. Seonghwa wasn't mad, but he wanted to teach Bonhwa to be more accepting than he was allowed to be while growing up. It's a challenge to change old ways for the younger generation, but this is one of the reasons he became a teacher in the first place. Before they could say more, San, one of Wooyoung's boyfriends, walked in. His bag slung over one shoulder and a smile bright on his face.

“I just dropped Sangie off at work. Are we ready to head to school?” San asked.

"Alright, time to wash up and get your things," Seonghwa said, rising to place the rinsed dishes into the dishwasher. He then pressed a kiss to Wooyoung's head and picked up his bag filled with his lesson plans that he spent the last few nights working meticulously on. "Breakfast was delicious, thank you. Be sure to lock up on your way out, okay?"

“Okay, mom.”

“I will literally kick your ass.”

“No, you won’t.”

Seonghwa smiled, wiping his hands off on the pastel pink towel beside the sink. “You’re right, Youngie. Who else would feed us food all the time if you were gone?”

The gasp that left Wooyoung was loud and exaggerated, with his hand placed over his heart. “I’m offended.”

"I love you. Have a great day at class and good luck with your test." He felt Wooyoung's eye roll more than seeing it as he turned away, but also sensed the affection coming from him. Meanwhile, Seonghwa called for Bonhwa to get his bag quickly. San then approached Wooyoung, kissing the man softly before taking a bite of his bread and whispering, "Thank you. Love you," before heading to the front door. San called for Bonhwa when they didn't hear the boy coming, who moments later burst from his room, slamming the door shut, and raced down the hall to join them. He now had his backpack and a bright blue hat with an embroidered dolphin on the front.

"Hats aren't allowed in school," San said, closing the front door as they headed out.

"But the playground's different! Dad insists on sun protection, and I can't stand that goop he uses."

"You mean sunscreen? I'll be slathering you in it the second we get to school, so you don't get burned."

"But I have a hat on!"

"Your skin is too sensitive, Bon. You need sunscreen whenever you're outside. I wear it every day, even though I'm mostly inside," San explained.

Seonghwa let out a quiet sigh, barely audible over the chatter. He watched Bonhwa totally absorbed in talking to San. The kid’s eyes were shining, full of excitement as he hung onto San’s every word. It’s a scene Seonghwa’s seen a million times. Bonhwa’s been glued to San since he could crawl, like San’s got this irresistible charm and he just adored him.

Even as a toddler, barely able to form coherent sentences, Bonhwa always found his way to San's side. He toddled after him, his small hand reaching out to grasp San's leg. Seonghwa often chuckled to himself while observing this sweet, innocent display of affection. It’s a heartwarming sight, but it also spoke volumes about the deep bond between the two. San, for his part, always welcomed Bonhwa's attention, treating him with kindness and patience. He always explained things to the boy, answered his endless questions, and even indulged in games of make-believe, always with a gentle smile on his face.

As Bonhwa grew older, his admiration for San only seemed to intensify. Whatever San did, Bonhwa felt an urge to copy. If San expressed an interest in a particular hobby, Bonhwa suddenly developed the same interest. If San wore a certain style of clothing, Bonhwa insisted on having similar outfits. It is both endearing and slightly amusing to witness. Seonghwa quickly realized the potential of this dynamic. He discovered a secret weapon, a way to gently guide Bonhwa towards positive behaviors.

If Seonghwa wanted Bonhwa to eat his vegetables, he only has to mention that San enjoyed eating them too. If he wanted Bonhwa to sit down and do his homework, he casually remarked that San is a hard worker. And, much to Seonghwa's relief, if he needed Bonhwa to brush his teeth twice a day, a simple mention that San always did was enough for Bonhwa. It’s a pretty unconventional way to parent but it unfortunately worked for them. Seonghwa can't help but feel gratitude towards San, for not only supplying Seonghwa with a secret weapon, but for also being a great role model.

And that’s how he found himself in his classroom with San and Bonhwa both putting sunscreen all over their bodies before class started, San going over the importance of protecting themselves from the sun. They’re still giggling with each other when his door opened, a head of dirty blonde hair poking in. “Seonghwa, are you still okay with taking my after-school duties today?”

Yunho, another teacher in the same hallway as him and Bonhwa’s teacher, had a sheepish smile on his face as he asked the question.

Seonghwa just smiled back, continuing to lay out worksheets he had for his students at each desk. “Of course, Yunho. Have fun with your partner.”

“Thank you. I’ll take one of your days next week.”

“You don’t have to. I like working the extra hour. It’s nice to see the kids' parents and talk to them when I’m not sitting in my classroom with a list of things for their child to improve on.”

Yunho nodded before diverting his attention to San, “Are you coming to see Yeosang walk tonight as well? This will be his first time with Utopia, right?”

San nodded, capping the sunscreen and putting it back on the shelf before rubbing his arms a little more. “Yeah, I’ll be going. Only one of us can go, and Wooyoung wants to relax with Bonhwa and Seonghwa tonight since he had a big test.”

“Yeosang should just tell them that he has two partners. They’re very accepting and wouldn’t mind giving you both seats.”

“All three of us have decided that it’s just something we will have to work around. Yeosang has lost too many job opportunities by coming out too soon. So we’re playing it safe.” San gave a small smile before going into the hallway.

Seonghwa waved to San before he left toward the gym, where he’ll spend the next hour getting everything set up with fun activities for the day for all the kids so they stay active.

“You also like Utopia, right? I see you wearing one of their sweaters on a casual day,” Yunho asked, moving to the side once more when a child barreled through to their seat, saying hi to everyone, including Bonhwa.

Seonghwa truly adored the fashion brand Utopia, not just liked it. He admired how they challenged traditional norms, demonstrating that clothing is not limited by gender, and that men can wear dresses while women can wear suits. He frequented the daily wear section of their website weekly, with a particular fondness for their sweaters, drawn to their luxurious soft texture. Despite being considered high fashion, Utopia's pieces are relatively low-cost compared to other brands, though still expensive enough that Seonghwa can't purchase them often. He managed to save money from two of his birthdays to buy the single sweater Yunho mentioned earlier. It's his only item from Utopia by his favorite designer, something he cherished deeply. “Yes, that brand is a favorite of mine.”

“If I ask Mingi, I could potentially get you into a show sometime? Since they have them on a smaller scale more frequently. A thank you for always covering for me.”

"Yun, that’s very kind, but I wouldn’t want you to trouble yourself. I also have Bonhwa to think about, and finding a sitter could be tricky if both San and Wooyoung are unavailable. The offer is really appreciated, though."

“Just let me know if you change your mind. Bonhwa, are you ready to head to class?”

Bonhwa’s head snapped up, multiple kids from Seonghwa's classroom talking with him. He said goodbye to everyone before jumping to Yunho. “See you later, Dad!”

Seonghwa saw Bonhwa zoom out the door after Yunho. He propped his door open, letting a wave of students pour in, each one a different vibe, a mix of excitement and maybe a little first-day jitters. Seonghwa meticulously organized his desk, ensuring that his teaching materials are neatly arranged and the day’s schedule is readily available. He took a deep breath, a familiar sense of purpose settling over him as the bell rang, signaling the start of another day.

The hours flew by quickly. The atmosphere of the classroom was an excited hum as his students engaged and they connected and learned more about each other. Soon they wouldn’t be small strangers, but familiar faces that he got to see learn and grow. Seonghwa navigated his room, weaving in and out of tables as he interacted with each child on their own level. He’s gotten really good at gauging a child's individual needs, adapting his teaching methods to make sure that every student grasped the lesson. He offered encouragement and gentle corrections when needed.

His path to becoming a teacher hadn't been a straight one, nor had it been his first dream. Initially, Seonghwa had wanted a different life for himself, one filled with stages and applause. Armed with a performance degree with a minor in teaching, he had harbored dreams of becoming a star. Early in life, he'd received a steady stream of compliments about his features, people always calling him handsome, inadvertently steering him toward a career in the spotlight.

However, life had a way of surprising you with unexpected turns. When his girlfriend at the time, Minjeong, shared the news of her pregnancy, Seonghwa felt something shift. Responsibility took over ambition. Bonhwa was his first priority always and seeing how busy Minjeong was, already chasing her dreams of becoming a model, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to pursue a career in the spotlight to the fullest and be with his son.

Since his minor was in education, Seonghwa saw the solution that would allow him to provide and be more present for his unexpected family. He worked hard, determined to finish his education before Bonhwa’s arrival. He didn’t regret the change. He always loved kids and though teaching was never his end goal until way later in life, he found an unexpected satisfaction with his current job.

And as the day continued on, Seonghwa was just happy he got to make an impact. It’s not exactly what he envisioned for himself at first, but he thought this is something that works better for him.

As the school day came to a close, he waved goodbye to Bonhwa and Wooyoung who walked hand in hand down the sidewalk. Bonhwa used Wooyoung as leverage to jump over cracks in the sidewalk and Wooyoung giggled at him the entire time, a huge smile on his face as he watched the young boy. He also waved to Yunho, who was rushing out of the front door of the school, trying to avoid the kids running to parents and friends.

“Thank you, Hwa! I’ll repay you!”

Seonghwa shook his head and focused on the remaining parents arriving to collect their children. Soon, nearly all the students left for the day, save for those involved in after-school programs. He spotted San at the track, surrounded by a group, with footballs nearby. Since Wooyoung picked Bonhwa up for the day, he opted to stay a little longer and tidy his classroom and complete some tasks.

The walk home offered a rare moment of quiet for Seonghwa. Even though the streets were anything but, he was able to retreat in his own mind and ignore his responsibilities for a short period. He passed a playground that he took Bonhwa too often, kids screaming and giggling as they enacted pirates and soldiers.

There’s a slight breeze as the sun started to set and Seonghwa felt peaceful until he was met with the old metal stairs that led to his apartment. He tuned out the shouting from one of the units,a middle aged couple that would be better off separate than together. The building’s condition is far from pristine, peeling paint from the tan walls, patches of brick chipped away, metal bars bent. Thankfully, Seonghwa;s apartment was on the top floor, a newer addition built a few years before his divorce with Minjeong.

When he put the code to the door in, he found Wooyoung sitting on the couch scrolling on his phone while Bonhwa was at the kitchen table, scribbling on a piece of paper.

“Did he get more homework?” Seonghwa asked as he set his things down to take off his shoes.

“Yunho gave him a worksheet. He’s probably almost done. I let him play for a bit while I made dinner. Told him he could watch a movie if he got all the answers correct,” Wooyoung said, not looking up from his phone, which was uncommon when Seonghwa was around

“Sounds good. Thank you so much.”

“Dinner is simmering on the stove.”

Seonghwa offered Wooyoung a warm smile, expressing his gratitude for the food as he took a peek in the pot. The smell of the soup was delicious and he had full faith in Wooyoung’s culinary skills, knowing full well that this was packed with multiple veggies that Bonhwa wouldn’t be able to pick out or even taste. He carried a bowl over to the table to sit with Bonhwa, asking him how his day went and what he was working on. Bonhwa eagerly told him about everything, going into detail about his athletics class, San letting the kids play football almost the entire time. He also talked about the sheet with multiple math questions, wondering why one kid needed twelve watermelons in the first place.

As Bonhwa reached the end of the paper, he held it up triumphantly. “It’s all correct now, Uncle Woo! I know it for sure!”

Wooyoung immediately put down his phone and smiled at the child, taking the paper and looking at each answer carefully. “Good job, Bonhwa. Now what do you want to watch?”

“Despicable Me!” Bonhwa said as Seonghwa mouthed the answer from the kitchen, putting his dish in the sink and taking the soup off the stove so it can cool down before he put it in a container for Wooyoung to take back home, even though more than likely the man will ‘forget’ it on the counter and Seonghwa will eat it for lunch the next day.

As the movie started playing, Wooyoung pointed to Seonghwa and then to Seonghwa's bedroom. He curiously followed Wooyoung. The other man waited for the door to click shut before he shoved a pink piece of paper in front of Seonghwa's face. “What is this?”

Seonghwa's eyes grew wide as he snatched it away from Wooyoung. “Where did you get this?”

“It was left on your front door. A last warning eviction notice? Seonghwa, seriously?”

“You had no right to read this.”

“I have every right when my best friend and his kid may be out of their apartment in three months! What the fuck, Seonghwa? Why haven’t you asked for help? When did this even happen? You’ve never done this before.”

Seonghwa sat heavily on the edge of his bed, the thin mattress dipping under his weight. His shoulders deflated, the weight of months of stress and financial strain pressed down on him like a physical burden. The cheerful afternoon sunlight streaming through his window seemed to mock his gloom. He looked over at Wooyoung, his eyes holding a mixture of weariness and a desperate plea to understand. "Do you remember when Bonhwa and I went to visit my family in Jinju?"

Wooyoung nodded slowly, recalling the weekend trip. "Yes, you said you wanted to stay longer than just the weekend."

Seonghwa's smile was brief and tinged with bitterness. "We were in Jinju but Bonhwa suddenly developed a high fever, throwing up constantly, rapid heart beat. We had to rush him to the nearest hospital and it turned out to be pneumonia. What should have been a quick visit turned into a nightmare. We had to stay in the hospital for almost a week. A full seven days of constant worry and machines beeping. And the school's insurance? It’s absolutely worthless. A total joke. Barely covered anything. I ended up having to pay a ridiculous amount of it out of my own pocket and I’m still paying it. Just when I think I’m starting to get ahead, something like this comes along." Seonghwa rubbed his temples, the memory still raw and painful. "It’s always something, isn’t it?"

"Why didn’t you tell me about this?" Wooyoung asked, voice thick with concern and a hint of hurt.

"I was scared and overwhelmed," Seonghwa said, hesitant and laced with vulnerability. "My baby was so sick, and he needed me constantly. Every ounce of my energy went into caring for him. I knew I should have trusted you and the others, but the fear just held me back. I didn’t want you to worry, to feel like you would need to come to Jinju to help me when you were on vacation."

"You should’ve told me," Wooyoung reiterated, now softer, more understanding. "I would have been there for you. I would have helped with everything, no questions asked."

"But you three just went on vacation. You were just starting to feel like you could be yourself again with Yeosang and San. I couldn't bring myself to burden you with my own problems. And we somehow got through it. We managed."

Wooyoung paused, obviously trying to gather his thoughts on the entire situation before responding. "Seonghwa, you're important to me. More than you seem to realize. Why is it so hard for you to ask for help? Or even accept our help? We’re doing well financially, and I hate to think of you struggling alone when I could make things easier."

"I don’t need handouts!" Seonghwa retorted, a sudden flash of defensiveness in his voice. "I won’t take your money. I’m capable of handling my own responsibilities. I'll manage somehow."

“Seonghwa—”

“No. Please stop. I have three months. I can budget and figure it out. Bonhwa and I will be fine.”

Wooyoung sighs, running a hand through his already messy hair. "I wish you'd stop being so stubborn and just ask for help. You know we'd all do anything for you."

"I know," Seonghwa murmured, watching Wooyoung head to the door.

"If you're still short on rent two weeks before the eviction, we'll cover it. Please, don't lie to me again. Just this once, put your pride aside. I understand you're a single dad struggling with a co-parent who isn't pulling their weight, but you don't have to prove anything. How would Bonhwa feel if he had to move back to his mother's, where she's never home, all because you refused help from your friends, your family?"

Seonghwa remained silent as Wooyoung left, not missing the barely audible farewell Wooyoung directed to Bonhwa amidst the chaotic sounds of cartoon characters. He raised his chin, determined not to shed tears over a situation of his own making. His fists clenched at his sides as a surge of resolve washed over him. He doesn’t need help. He will accomplish this by his means.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa's apartment was quiet, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting gentle shadows across the room. Bonhwa slept soundly, tucked under his dinosaur blanket. They got through two more chapters of “The Hobbit” before Bonhwa's rhythmic breathing told Seonghwa the boy was asleep. Now, the clock on his phone read 11:17 PM, and Seonghwa felt wide awake.

He opened his laptop, the screen illuminating his face as he typed in different terms in the search bar. Part time jobs, temp work, flexible hours. Each click led to new jobs, but each one had their own set of issues. Dog walking appealed to him, he would be able to interact with animals and get a lot of fresh air, but he would have to leave Bonhwa alone. He wasn’t going to disrupt his son's daily routine to get him up really early to go with him. Driving jobs would be viable, make his own hours, meaning he could work on the weekend that Bonhwa is at his mothers house but he didn’t have a car.

Babysitting would be another option, As long as the family would allow him to bring Bonhwa, it could work. Bonhwa is usually well-behaved, but what if the job required late hours? What if they wanted him to stay overnight? He couldn’t drag Bonhwa to a strange place to sleep on random nights. Bonhwa is like Seonghwa, he thrived on consistency and routine. Seonghwa won't compromise his son's well-being for extra cash. But if he doesn’t find something, he’ll lose him altogether.

With a sigh, Seonghwa leaned back, rubbing his eyes. The options were limited, each with an issue that Seonghwa couldn’t see past. As a joke he typed in how to sell feet pics to creeps. What he doesn't expect is a reddit post to pop up

How to make money fast with your body without sex.

There were a lot of random posts underneath the original. Many of it were things to do on Only Fans. Challenges and games to get the audience more engaged, therefore more tips rolling in. But Seonghwa didn’t need any of that. He needed something that wouldn’t ruin his reputation as a teacher.

Towards the end of the thread, he noticed a link to an app and a long explanation underneath.

I used this app all through college and a little after. I never used my body for sex, and I really only kept people company by texting and calling them. The app has a wide range of things that you can do for Daddies and Mommies. A lot of them just want companionship, someone to talk to. I had one Daddy who would send me twenty bucks just to text him throughout the day. To check up on him and make him laugh. I did go on a few events when I was comfortable with the client. The app is super safe, and I never felt like I was ever in danger. This is a great way to get quick cash, and I highly recommend it!! www.sugarlove.com.

Seonghwa hovered over the link for minutes before closing the laptop with a sigh. It’s too good to be true.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa spent days wracking his brain for a solution. He needed something Bonhwa wouldn't discover, and something that wouldn't force him to leave his son for extended periods. His thoughts kept circling back to that app. Seonghwa was a natural conversationalist. The idea of getting paid to uplift and comfort people genuinely appealed to him. Maybe a short peek at the website wouldn’t hurt.

He typed the url in the browser, being brought to a pastel yellow and pink website. There was a lot going on with pictures of profiles auto scrolling, a bright SIGN UP HERE button that glowed when he hovered over it. He scrolled down more and found what he was looking for.

The "Learn About Us" section had a trove of micro-tabs and he read each one meticulously.

For the security and peace of mind of all participants, Sugar Love prioritizes the safety of its Sugar Babies, Mommies, and Daddies. Upon registration, all information will be entered into our system for evaluation and a comprehensive background check. Eligibility mandates a clean criminal record. We offer a range of tiers to accommodate varying comfort levels. Sugar Babies possess the autonomy to establish their own rates, which are final and not subject to negotiation by other parties.

Tier Baby relationship facilitates the exchange of contact between the parties. Physical meetings are not permitted at this level unless both parties mutually agree to upgrade the relationship tier. Communication within the application is compensated; however, sharing personal contact details outside the app is allowed at the Baby's discretion. Pricing is determined solely by the Baby and is not subject to negotiation.

Tier Love relationship facilitates in-person meetings between the Baby and the Mommy or Daddy for shared activities. This agreement permits dates and extended time spent together. Sexual activity is prohibited unless both parties explicitly agree to upgrade the tier. Upon the commencement and conclusion of each scheduled meeting, both individuals are obligated to register their location on the designated application as confirmation of their safety. Failure to register will result in the dispatch of law enforcement to the stated location. Pricing is determined solely by the Baby and is not subject to negotiation.

Tier Sugar relationship facilitates consensual sexual activity between both participating individuals. Such activities must occur at a hotel designated and approved by Sugar Love. The recording of any sexual activity is strictly prohibited. Both participants are required to verify their presence on the application at the commencement and conclusion of the scheduled meeting, confirming their safety and departure from the location. Should a participant fail to verify their presence on the application, law enforcement will be dispatched to the location. Pricing is determined solely by the Baby and is not subject to negotiation.

Seonghwa became more and more interested in the website's rules as he read through them. He wondered if they actually worked. Without really thinking about it, he scrolled back up and clicked on the Sign Up button. He took a deep breath before making his choice: Tier Baby.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

It was a long, agonizing week. Each passing day felt like an eternity for Seonghwa. He sent the email to Sugar Love with a mixture of horror and hope. He checked his inbox, refreshed it more times than he can count, but nothing. Just the usual spam and the dull routine of everyday emails.

Then, precisely seven days later, just as he was ready to accept that he was not in the program, it happened. The subtle vibration of his phone against his thigh sent a jolt of electricity through him. It’s lunchtime and he had no lunch duties today. He is sitting next to Yunho with San, Yeosang, and Wooyoung on the other side of the picnic table. They were dissecting the latest episode of some outrageously trashy reality show that they all secretly loved. Their voices were loud and animated, punctuated by laughter and exaggerated gasps, sometimes getting louder than the screaming children on the playground.

He glanced down, his heart suddenly pounding frantically against his ribs. There it is, an email notification. The words seem to shimmer on the screen, almost too good to be true. A rush of heat flooded his face, and his breath hitched in his throat. A strange mix of excitement and nerves churned in his stomach. He quickly slipped the phone into his pocket. He doesn't want to share what he might be doing for money with his friends.

Though, nothing ever got by Wooyoung, who caught his reaction. He saw the flicker of surprise, the subtle intake of breath. Now, his eyebrow is arched, a silent question hanging in the air, his eyes boring into Seonghwa. He fixed Seonghwa with an unwavering stare that seemed to pierce through his carefully constructed facade. Seonghwa knew that stare. He'd seen it a thousand times before. It’s Wooyoung's way of saying, "I know you're hiding something, and I'm going to find out what it is." With a sheepish grin, Seonghwa simply shook his head, offering a small, dismissive gesture. He hoped it looked casual, but inside, his heart was pounding. He desperately tried to refocus his attention on the conversation, forcing himself to offer half-hearted comments about the reality show. But his mind was elsewhere, consumed by the email tucked away in his pocket, burning with anticipation and worry.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa navigated the remainder of his day in a haze. The walk home alongside Bonhwa was a mere sequence of footsteps and muted conversation, his thoughts consumed by the phone in his pocket.When he finally stepped into his apartment, a familiar scene greeted him. The shoes near the entrance and the rich, aromatic scent of Wooyoung’s distinctive curry immediately signaled his friend's presence. Seonghwa decided not to even joke about how the code to his apartment should only be used in emergencies. Especially since this happened at least three times a week. But he was hoping that Wooyoung wouldn't come today, but Seonghwa couldn’t be that lucky.

"Go play in your room for a bit, Bon," Seonghwa said calmly, though Wooyoung probably can detect the familiar nervousness in his voice. "Dinner will be ready soon, and I'll come get you."

Bonhwa was already grabbing his tablet from the counter. He disappeared down the hall, the sounds of Minecraft soon followed.

The silence that descended after Bonhwa left feels heavy. Wooyoung, who had been stirring the pot, finally turned to Seonghwa, looking directly at him. "Are you seeing someone?" he asked, the question hanging in the air with more weight than he intended.

Seonghwa's eyes widen slightly in surprise. This isn’t the first question he thought Wooyoung would ask. "What? No, of course not," he answered a little too quickly, though truthfully.

"What about that text earlier?" Wooyoung pressed, "You practically snatch your phone and lock it away like it is top secret."

"Woo," Seonghwa began, his tone meant to soothe, "it was nothing, really—"

"You said no more lies, Seonghwa," Wooyoung interrupts gently, his voice full of concern. "Are you in trouble? Please tell me the truth. You didn't borrow from loan sharks, did you?"

Seonghwa's surprise turned to something like exasperation. "Jesus, Wooyoung! No, I did not borrow from loan sharks," he said firmly, almost angrily.

"Because you know I'd rather you borrow every last penny from us than go anywhere near those absolute pieces of shit. They basically ruined my uncle’s life—" Wooyoung's voice trailed off, the familiar anger at those predatory people rising within him.

Seonghwa sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping. The internal conflict is clear on his face. Wooyoung kept complaining about how terrible a life of borrowing can be when Seonghwa couldn’t hold it back anymore. "I signed up for a sugar baby website."

Wooyoung's hand froze, the spoon clattering against the pot. He stared at Seonghwa, his mind struggling to comprehend the unexpected statement. "What?" he managed, the single word filled with disbelief.

"Well—" Seonghwa began, his eyes darting around the kitchen as if looking for an escape.

"There’s always horror stories with those apps. They’re never safe. And how are you supposed to keep your job as a teacher?”

"It's safer and—" Seonghwa tried to explain defensively.

"How? There’s no way this could work out." Wooyoung countered.

Seonghwa sighed, a frustration settling deep in his chest. Wooyoung stood with arms crossed tightly over his chest. “Wooyoung, please,” Seonghwa began again, his voice a touch softer this time, hoping to get through to him. “Just let me explain.”

Wooyoung remained unyielding, his posture like a wall. “Explain what, hyung? Explain how you think this is a good idea in the first place?”

Seonghwa ran a hand through his hair, a habit he’d never quite shaken. “I know it sounds… unconventional,” he admitted, choosing his words carefully. “But I did my research. Hours of it. I read everything on their website. The FAQs, the reviews, the safety protocols. It’s not some shady back alley operation, Wooyoung. It’s legitimate.”

Wooyoung scoffed. “Legitimate? It’s a Sugar Baby website, Seonghwa! What part of that sounds ‘legitimate’?”

“And I’m not… I’m not doing that,” Seonghwa insisted, his tone firm. “I specifically signed up for the communication only option. Texting and phone calls. That’s it. No meetups, no physical anything. It’s just… easy income. And honestly,” he added, a hint of vulnerability creeping into his voice, “I could really use it right now.”

He paused, allowing his words to sink in before continuing. “Besides, I don’t even know if I got accepted into the app. That email I received earlier is about the background check. They need to verify my identity and run a criminal history check.”

Wooyoung’s eyebrows shot up, his previous worry overshadowed by surprise. “A background check? For a Sugar website? Seriously?”

Seonghwa nodded. “That’s what I’m saying! It seems really safe and secure. They take precautions. I wouldn’t have signed up for just any random website. You know me better than that. I’m the cautious one.”

Wooyoung finally dropped his arms, the rigidness in his posture softening slightly. He took a deep breath, the tension slowly released from his shoulders. “I’m sorry, Hyung,” he mumbled, looking away for a moment. “I jumped down your throat. It’s just that the whole idea… it worries me. You’re my best friend and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

A small smile formed on Seonghwa’s lips. “I know you’re worried, Young-ah. And I appreciate it, I really do. How about this, after dinner, we can sit down together, and you can go through the entire website yourself. Read everything, see their security measures, everything. And then we can check to see if I even pass this mysterious background check.”

Wooyoung managed a weak smile in return. “Hwa, your record is probably the cleanest in the world. You’ve never even gotten a parking ticket.”

“And I plan on keeping it that way,” Seonghwa said with a wink. “Now, enough about my potential start into the world of sugar babies. Let me help with dinner.”

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

The tension that has hung over the two friends for the past week slowly melted away as they finished dinner with Bonhwa. Wooyoung stayed and helped Seonghwa with his son's nightly routine. They had to videocall San so Seonghwa could put lotion on him, San putting his own on while Wooyoung held up the phone in front of Bonhwa. And as Bonhwa asked Wooyoung to read the chapter of The Hobbit tonight, Seonghwa left them to clean up in the kitchen.

Seonghwa sometimes believed he’s not the friend that Wooyoung deserved

During moments like this, when Wooyoung was giving more and more than Seonghwa can replenish, it made him feel like an inadequate friend. A terrible friend who just takes and takes with nothing to bring to the table. In their secondary and University years, Seonghwa always took care of Wooyoung. They would walk to school together every day, even though Seonghwa had a bike. But he woke up thirty minutes early so that he could walk with Wooyoung. In university, Seonghwa didn’t have to think before he decided to room with Wooyoung in his second year and Wooyoung's first. Seonghwa was barely in his dorm during his first lonely year anyway, opting to take the long bus ride back to Wooyoung’s family home. And when Wooyoung entered University, they both wrote down each other's names on the dorm form without even discussing it. They both just knew.

But when Seonghwa’s life veered sharply after uncharacteristically saying yes to a party invitation. It was there that he met his future ex wife. What followed was something that he would never call a mistake. Before he could fully grasp the implications, he found himself cradling a newborn, a tiny, dependent life that he felt utterly unprepared for. His shared dorm with Wooyoung that was filled with love and laughter got replaced by a cold apartment inhabited by two people who tried desperately to love one another, but just couldn’t.

Wooyoung helped him through it all. The fighting, the sleepless nights, the crying. His marriage and Bonhwa shifted the dynamic between the two best friends, reshaping it in a way that Seonghwa still didn't quite understand.

And now side by side on his worn couch, the silence settled between them comfortably. Seonghwa carefully balanced his laptop on his right thigh and Wooyoung mirrored him, the cool metal placed on his best friend's left thigh. They shared the screen as Wooyoung read through the entire website meticulously checking all tabs and Seonghwa didn't look away from him, monitoring any subtle shift in his facial expressions. Occasionally, Wooyoung would pause, eyes darting over the same line multiple times before nodding and continuing on.

"This actually looks legitimate."

Seonghwa bumped his shoulder against Wooyoung, "And I was going to tell you if I got in."

"I am sorry for how I reacted,” Wooyoung said, relaxing further into the couch.

"I get why you reacted that way, it's fine. Honestly, I didn't think this would lead anywhere, so I didn't say anything."

"You've been glued to your phone, even more than usual. I thought you were seeing someone."

"Definitely not. I wouldn't do that."

Wooyoung stared at Seonghwa in disbelief. "But signing up for that website is normal for you?"

"I'm having a quarter-life crisis, can’t you just leave me alone?"

"Absolutely not. Open the email."

With the laptop now resting on Seonghwa's thighs, they both settled deeper into their cuddle. The email boldly announced Sugar Love Background Results at the very top. Without hesitation, Seonghwa opened it and began to read.

Dear Seonghwa,

My name is Seoyeon, and I am responsible for reviewing your application. Your background check yielded no discrepancies, which is a positive. A thorough review of your employment status and social media profiles has also been completed. Based on our comprehensive assessment, we are pleased to extend an invitation for you to join the Sugar Love family.

Your next step will involve creating an account and establishing your pricing structure. A document containing suggested pricing guidelines has been provided however, please be aware that these are merely recommendations, and you retain full discretion over your own rates. As indicated in your application, your preferred engagement methods include text-based communication and occasional in-person meetings, to be scheduled after an initial period of communication. Should you wish to add the third tier of engagement, please do not hesitate to contact me via this email address.

We appreciate your interest in joining Sugar Love! Welcome to the family.

Sincerely,

Seoyeon

"Huh," Seonghwa said, slamming his laptop shut. "That was a real person with a real reply. This website is too good to be true. I don’t trust it. That was fun. I’m glad I went through all of that. Nice to know I could get accepted."

"Wha- Seonghwa, this seems great!" Wooyoung exclaimed, getting up to follow Seonghwa.

"Most definitely. Thanks for all the support, please leave now and forget any of this happened." Seonghwa tried to push Wooyoung towards the door.

Wooyoung laughed, "Hyung, stop for a second. You don’t have to start immediately-"

"-or at all," Seonghwa finished.

"Can I help you sift through candidates? Is it like Tinder? Swipe left if you hate them and right if they’re not a creep?”

“When have you ever been on Tinder?”

“I haven’t, but I know how dating apps work.”

Seonghwa felt on the verge of hyperventilating as they both stood in the middle of his small living room. Why did he ever think this was a good idea? He shouldn't be on an app like this. He's no longer young, and people don't want someone close to their thirties. They pay for young people on their arms, not a twenty-eight-year-old.

“Hwa, hey. Let’s sit down for a second.”

“No, I need to delete this app—”

“Sit.”

Seonghwa opted for the coffee table, the scratchy couch fabric only adding to this feeling. Wooyoung sat across from him, taking his hands and demonstratively breathing, slowly Seonghwa's breathing turned to a more controlled pace.

“Better?”

“Better. Thank you.”

Wooyoung hummed, gently rubbing Seonghwa's thighs in comforting circles. "Have you seen a doctor?"

Seonghwa shook his head. "I can't afford it."

"Guess what could help?"

Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh. "You were just against this idea!"

"And now I'm all for it! It seems incredibly safe. Plus, what if you meet another single parent on there? What if you make new friends? Get out of the house more? Maybe even meet a wealthy DILF and fall in love? This could be really good for you, Hyung. I truly believe it."

"I hate you. Go home."

"You love me, and I think I'll sleep on the couch. It's getting pretty late."

Seonghwa sighed, rising to his feet. He pulls Wooyoung along to his bedroom, to the drawer holding spare pajamas. From it, he retrieves the set he bought for Wooyoung, white, adorned with a black cat print.

"Can we cuddle in bed and look at the app?" Wooyoung asked as he took the clothing.

Seonghwa looked at him, knowing exactly what he was trying to do. "I thought you said you were sleeping on the couch?"

"But hyung," Wooyoung whined, pouting at the older man.

"You’re lucky you’re so cute."

They proceeded to get ready for bed, calling San and Yeosang first, letting them know that Wooyoung was staying over. Wooyoung doesn’t bring up Sugar Love to the other two, which he’s thankful for and they all talk about their days before hanging up for the night, agreeing to meet for lunch tomorrow after Seonghwa dropped Bonhwa off at Minjeong’s place.

"Alright, let's get this done," he said, handing it to Wooyoung. The Sugar Love app icon glowed on the screen. Wooyoung took the phone, a critical eye already assessing the new profile. His fingers flew across the screen as he started the painstaking process of creating Seonghwa's online persona. They spent the next thirty minutes sifting through Seonghwa's photo gallery, deleting blurry selfies, and debating various poses. Wooyoung insisted on a few candid shots, arguing that they would make Seonghwa seem more approachable. “I can’t believe you didn’t have anything picked out.”

“I wasn’t expecting to get this far.”

“Thank whatever god there is that you have me then.”

The bio proved to be even more challenging. Wooyoung rejected several of Seonghwa's initial attempts, deeming them too generic or, in one instance, "like a dating profile from 2005." He eventually just took control, typing a description that highlighted Seonghwa's charm and kind nature, while hinting at his desire for a mutually beneficial arrangement.

Once the profile is deemed perfect by Wooyoung, they move on to the most crucial, and perhaps most awkward part pricing Seonghwa's services. "You're pretty, hyung," Wooyoung stated, leaning back to get a better look at Seonghwa, who could feel a heat start creeping up his neck. "You should be more expensive." He hummed, looking at the recommended pricing. He knows this is a delicate balance, too high and Seonghwa might deter potential clients and too low, he’d be underselling himself.

"I have no experience with this. I can’t have someone paying seventy thousand won for an hour of my time if it’s going to be awkward because of my inexperience. I think twenty eight thousand will be fine for now. I can adjust my rate weekly. If I want to raise it, I will. And if I don’t connect with anyone or they make me uncomfortable, I can cut off communication and block them, right? So it’ll be okay." His voice was barely a whisper, the last sentence a plea for reassurance. He ran a hand through his hair. "What if they expect more than just talking? What if they ask for photos?"

Wooyoung bumped his shoulder into Seonghwa, a smirk playing on his features. "I’d pay two hundred thousand just for a picture of you in lingerie, let alone to talk to you." He winked, clearly trying to lighten the mood, but it only made the other man's cheeks flush a deeper shade of red.

"Wooyoung-ah, don’t exaggerate," he mumbled, trying to sound firm, but the tremor in his voice betrayed him.

"Hyung, you’re hot. Everyone knows it," Wooyoung insisted. "Seriously, you're charismatic and interesting. People will pay good money for you. This 'awkward because of inexperience' thing is just in your head. You're a natural. Don’t underpay yourself."

"Okay, let’s change the subject," he said quickly, waving a dismissive hand. He knew Wooyoung was trying to be supportive, but the compliments were making him uncomfortable. "Can we start looking at profiles? I just want to get this over with." He picked up his phone, eager to escape the uncomfortable discussion about his own looks.

He and Wooyoung quickly grasped how the app works, finding it quite similar to Tinder. They browse through profiles of both men and women, many showcasing their cars and other assets including houses, yachts, and random buildings. Seonghwa is overall confused by how any of this is supposed to be a turn on for him, but all he can feel is relief not to see any profiles for any other tier besides the first and second, meaning that the filtering of the app worked as intended.

Seonghwa started spacing out as he found something wrong with each profile. Too conceited, has a wife, too many cars. “Do you have an age limit at all?” Wooyoung asked as he swiped through photos on a profile. “I know we put same age or older on your profile, but is there like a limit to that? Cause this lady is seventy and wants to talk about current fashion trends and take people she vibes with to galas.” He punctuated the last word with a dramatic flourish of his hands.

“What?” Seonghwa's voice was a sharp burst of surprise as he snatched the phone from Wooyoung's hand, his brow furrowed in confusion. He stared at the screen, a profile photo of an elegant woman with a warm smile looking back at him. “People do this? Take random people to huge events like this? Galas? Like, actual galas?” His mind raced, picturing himself in a rented tux, trying to navigate a world of high society and whispered conversations he knew nothing about. The idea was both absurd and intriguing.

Wooyoung leaned over to rest most of his upper body on Seonghwa, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. “I would say at least fifty percent of the people that go to those have a sugar baby on their arm. Things like this require eye candy. Everyone wants to one up the next person.” He gestured with his hands, as if illustrating the cutthroat social climb that surrounded those events.. “It's all about appearances, hyung. Having a younger, attractive companion on your arm is practically a status symbol.”

Seonghwa, however, was still scrolling through the woman's profile, his initial shock giving way to a different kind of curiosity. “It doesn’t seem like she wants that though,” he mused, his voice softening. He read her interests, her desire for conversation, her passion for the arts. “She seems like a genuinely nice person and wanting a connection, not just some arm candy.” Before Seonghwa could articulate his thoughts more fully, before he could even consider the implications of what he was about to do, Wooyoung with a mischievous grin, swiftly swiped to the right. A bright green checkmark lit up the screen. Seonghwa was officially in the running for a seventy year old woman who wanted to discuss fashion and attend galas.

Congrats on your first Love! If they swipe on you as well, their chat will appear in your inbox.

"This is so wild," Wooyoung exclaimed, "It's Tinder, but for sugar babies."

"Okay, I think that's enough for tonight."

Wooyoung whined, clutching Seonghwa's phone to his chest, "Hyung, we only matched you with one person! We should keep going-"

"Absolutely not. We will not be doom-scrolling on a sugar app. I refuse," Seonghwa declared, pulling his phone from Wooyoung's grasp. "Goodnight, Woo."

Seonghwa heard a huff before Wooyoung settled beside him, his cold feet instantly finding Seonghwa's calves. He made a mental note to get Wooyoung socks for the next sleepover. Unlike San, Seonghwa wasn't one to run hot, and Wooyoung's icy feet sent shivers down his spine.

"Cold, hyung?" Wooyoung said cheekily.

"Shut the fuck up. You're making breakfast in the morning."

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Wooyoung did make breakfast in the morning. Fluffy blueberry pancakes with sausage and eggs on the side. Bonhwa doused his pancakes with too much syrup, Seonghwa didn’t notice until after the damage had been done and by the time Bonhwa’s plate was clean, his eyes wide and bright with a sugar high. Seonghwa usually tried to steer clear of such foods with his son, the sugar hitting him more than the average child. But when Wooyoung stayed the weekend, it was a battle Seonghwa rarely won. He made a mental note to apologize to Minjeong when he dropped Bonhwa off later, knowing she'd be the one dealing with the aftermath.

As the morning continued on, the dread that had begun to settle in Seonghwa's stomach intensified. The more time ticked, creeping closer and closer to when they needed to leave, the more sense of despair wrapped around him. He knew it was an extreme word, perhaps even silly, to describe the feeling of parting with his son, but it was accurate. He hated leaving his son with his mother, not because Minjeong was a terrible parent, far from it, she was a good mother overall, but because Seonghwa anticipated the heartache Bonhwa would inevitably experience.

It was a pattern he knew all too well. Minjeong would almost always cut their weekend short, requesting he pick Bonhwa up early on Sunday instead of doing school drop-off on Monday. It was something that always left Bonhwa disappointed and witnessing it tore at Seonghwa's own heart.

Seonghwa meticulously double-checked Bonhwa’s small overnight bag in the living room, ensuring every essential item was packed for the brief stay. It was a familiar thing for him to do, an attempt to have a small amount of control over a situation he felt powerless in. Just as he zipped up the last compartment, his phone vibrated, pulling him from his thoughts. A new notification glowed on the screen, a vibrant red heart, accompanied by the bold, undeniable text. It’s a Match!

“Oh fuck.”

Bonhwa stood on the couch excited. “Dad said a bad word! That means I get a thousand won!” Seonghwa continued staring at his phone as he pulled out his wallet, handing his son a bill without really looking. Bonhwa yelled and ran to his room, more than likely hiding his new money.

Vogue Vibes
Hello, your bio says you’re really into fashion? What's your favorite brand? Let’s chat for a bit?

+₩28,000

"Holy fuck, this is real," Seonghwa whispered, tapping Wooyoung repeatedly, each tap more forceful.

"Ow, what?"

Seonghwa shoved his phone in front of Wooyoung's face, whose eyes widened. "Holy shit."

Just as Wooyoung spoke, Bonhwa entered the living room again. "Uncle Woo said a bad word!"

"Yeah, yeah. Here," Wooyoung says, digging into his pocket for his wallet and shoving another bill towards Bonhwa. "What now? You just text?"

"I think so. As long as I accept it, it’ll charge their card once the time is up."

“Well, respond!”

“I can’t text right now though. I don’t want them to waste their money on me when I’ll be driving for half the hour we should be chatting.”

“I’ll drive.”

“Wooyoung, I would rather live.”

“My driving skills are perfectly fine and it’s my car.”

“No, they are not, and it’s Yeosang’s car,” Seonghwa said, turning away from the younger. “I’ll just respond and let them know it’ll be a bit.”

Starhwa
I would love to talk! My favorite brand is Utopia, but I unfortunately will not be able to talk more until later in the day. Let’s say around four tonight? If that’s okay?

The reply is instant

VogueVibes
Of course, Seonghwa. I will talk to you then.

“Ah, your first sugar mommy!” Wooyoung said, clapping his hands and then wiping a fake tear from his eye. “It feels like yesterday when I was giving you the rundown on mommy and daddies.”

“You taught me nothing.”

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

The drive to Minjeong’s place always felt remarkably short to Seonghwa, even though it’s across the city and takes upwards to forty five minutes when traffic is bad. He despised every step of this routine. The moment the car parked in the polished lot of the high-rise apartments, the forced composure as he approached the front desk, the ascent in the glass elevator, each floor a translucent reminder of the world he was almost a part of.

Seonghwa watched, a lump forming in his throat, as Bonhwa’s excitement built with each passing minute. In the elevator, Bonhwa’s small face pressed against the cool glass, his eyes wide with wonder as the city shrinks beneath them, his excitement radiating off of him.

The moment the elevator doors opened on Minjeong’s floor, Bonhwa was a blur of motion. He practically barreled to her door, his small fist raised to deliver a series of loud knocks, the boy bouncing on the balls of his feet. Minutes passed before the door finally swung inward. Standing there, framed in the doorway, was Minjeong. Her usual cascading, long hair has been cut into a chic bob, a striking change that Seonghwa would have never guessed that she would do. Before Seonghwa could even register the change, Bonhwa launched himself into her.

“Hi, my baby,” Minjeong said, softly wrapping her arms around their son. “How about you go to your room and unpack your bag while your dad and I talk for a sec?”

They watch their son run down the hall, smiles on both their faces. When Bonhwa turned the corner, Seonghwa’s smile dropped, the easygoing expression replaced by a familiar tension. “What’s up?” he asked, his voice steeled. He knew what was coming.

Minjeong took a moment longer to meet his eyes. “I have to fly out to Paris tomorrow at three for a photoshoot on Monday,” she stated, the words tumbling out quickly, as if to lessen their impact. “Can I drop him back off at your place around noon?”

Seonghwa’s jaw tightened. “Minjeong—” he began, his voice low.

“I know. I’m sorry,” she interjected, her own voice tinged with a weariness that reminded him of countless similar conversations. “But I can’t miss out on this opportunity. It’s huge.”

“But you can miss watching your son grow up?” he challenged, his words cutting through her explanation. The hurt in his voice was easy to detect.

“Hwa, you know what this all means to me—” she started, but Seonghwa has heard it time and time again.

“Yeah, more than your family,” he retorted, the sarcasm heavy in his tone. The resentment is a thick cloud between them, suffocating their past affection.

“Bonhwa means everything to me—” she insisted, her voice raising, desperate to defend her love for their son.

“No, he doesn’t—” Seonghwa said, his patience clearly at an end.

“Seonghwa—”

“Your job matters more, Minjeong,” he said, holding up his hand to stop the argument from escalating further, his gaze fixed on her with a cold finality. This conversation never proved to get them anywhere. Not then, and definitely not now. “Go ahead and take your opportunities, take the jobs. But if you’re going to break his heart, I wish you would just do it once and stop doing it on an almost weekly basis. Bring him home at noon. I’ll pick up the pieces you leave.” His voice was void of emotion now. The conversation never ended with a solution between them. It ended with Bonhwa missing his mother, and Seonghwa fearing that someday will be the breaking point.

Seonghwa didn’t take the chance of hearing her reply, making a beeline for the elevator. Their interactions always ended in an argument. They really have never seen eye to eye on most things, even when they forced themselves to marry and try for Bonhwa. He’s overall happy that he got a divorce. Things would have been way more toxic if they were together and Bonhwa wouldn’t have had an inkling of what love looked like. Even if he is single, Bonhwa sees him giving love to his friends, to his students, to Bonhwa. There’s more love in the world than just a spouse, and Seonghwa wanted to teach his son all the ways. He never wanted his son to be without love like he once was.

Once he got back down to his car, Wooyoung waved at him to hurry. “Look! You got four more matches since you went inside!”

“How the hell— Wooyoung!” Seonghwa said, snatching his phone from his friend's hand. “You matched with four people on my profile?”

“Well, I swiped right on a lot more than four, but four matched up just now! If you talk with all five for an hour, that’s over a hundred thousand won right there!”

Seonghwa rubbed his temples, a headache brewing right between his eyes. He does peek at his phone though, seeing a man with long blonde hair and no shirt on. “Wooyoung, I want to match with people who have the same interests as me. How am I supposed to carry on a conversation about,” he looks back down at the profile on his phone, “candle making? That is not what I had thought of when I saw his photo.”

“See? He’s interesting.”

“He also doesn’t want to just talk. Did you even look at the tier on his profile? He wants to eventually work up to tier three after tier one.”

“Oh,” Wooyoung said. “Maybe talk with him for an hour and then say nevermind?”

“No, you’re going to message him and tell him that I’m not interested in going above two and I apologize for misreading his profile while I drive us to lunch.”

“Hyung, he’s so hot though. Maybe what you really need is a really good lay—”

“Wooyoung, what I need is for you to message him exactly what I told you.”

Wooyoung sat back in his seat, pout firmly placed on his face. “I hate when you use your dad voice on me. I feel like I’m a child.”

“Well, you’re acting like one. Bonhwa listens better than you.”

“He does not.”

Seonghwa spent the next twenty minutes arguing with Wooyoung about how he needed to be less picky with the people he swiped right on.

“Is it not about the money? Swiping right on everyone will give you opportunities to make more.”

“I don’t want to try to carry out a conversation with someone I have nothing in common with. That wouldn’t be fun for either party. They lose time and money on someone who doesn’t care and I’m forced into a conversation I don’t enjoy.”

Wooyoung shifted in his seat, Seonghwa’s phone loosely held in his hand as they pulled into the restaurant parking lot. “Sorry, Hyung.”

Seonghwa took in the younger expression, the slight pout on his lips and sighed. “It’s fine. But if you’re going to go through swiping on people, make sure I actually want to talk to them. And let’s just hope that half the people you swiped on, don’t swipe on me.”

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa wasn't so lucky. He spent most of his night alone, closing random conversations after apologizing that he wasn't looking for more than chatting and potential dates. While this boosted his confidence, as more and more messages popped up, he cursed himself for leaving his phone with Wooyoung. He was constantly deleting dozens of conversations just to keep track of the four he decided to engage with. One of these was an older woman who had been renewing their hour-long chat since he got home around four p.m. It was now almost nine, and he was genuinely enjoying their conversation.

VogueVibes
Fashion is always hands on. There is something so fascinating of someone sketching an idea in their head and bringing it to life with different fabrics and textiles.

Starhwa
I’ve never been artistic enough to think about making my own clothing. I don’t think I would be very good at it, if I’m being honest. Choosing the right fabrics, figuring out how it would lay on a body. I’ve never been good at that. But I love seeing what others bring to life. Seeing their art come to life on a runway, in the streets. It’s very inspiring.

VogueVibes
Do you dress up often?

Seonghwa didn’t know how to tell his new friend, Yesoon, that he was too poor to even think about dressing up. All of his money went to bills and his son.

Starhwa
I’m a teacher so I don’t take the time to dress up. Slacks and a button up is all I wear nowadays.

VogueVibes
Clothes are something to express yourself, Seonghwa. Even on a day to day basis. Use this and go get yourself a new outfit.

+₩900,000

Seonghwa almost dropped his phone. The number in front of him was the monthly rent for his small two bedroom apartment.

Starhwa
Yesoon, I can’t accept this. I’ve done nothing to warrant this.

VogueVibes
Actually, I know in your profile you said that you would potentially work up to in person meetings, but I have a gala I must attend next weekend. I was hoping to bring you along, since you have such an eye for fashion. I have felt very comfortable talking to you tonight and would love to continue our conversation in person. As stated in my profile, I do not want anything sexual, just a friend, if you are willing.

Seonghwa stared at the message and the timer ticked down on their conversation in the right hand corner of the chat room. He would hate for Yesoon to pay for another hour because it took him so long to decide.

Starhwa
If I can find a babysitter for my son, I would gladly come with you. I’ll let you know by Wednesday at the latest.

VogueVibes
Thank you for indulging an old woman, Seonghwa. Use the money to buy yourself a new outfit. Whether you come to the gala or not. I have enjoyed your company immensely tonight and I hope we can chat more often. Goodnight.

Chat with VogueVibes has ended

Seonghwa sat and stared at his phone for a long time, looking at the blinking zeros indicating their chat time was over. Seonghwa decided then that he will refuse the large amount of money until he has a for sure answer for the older woman. He felt too guilty seeing the amount in his account on the app. He decided to move over the money from all the chats he had for the night, giving him a grand total of ₩280,000. Which he immediately used to send to his landlord, the amount on the app going down a small amount. He took a deep breath, some of the tension easing off of his shoulders as he calculated how much he would have to chat to catch up. He could do it. He could do this. Chatting with these people was easier than he expected, and taking money from them when he didn’t have a true connection with them was somehow easier.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Later in the week, Seonghwa learned that he wasn't the only person potentially going to this gala. He asked his friends if someone could watch Bonhwa Saturday night and Yunho responded that he had a charity gala to attend with his partner and unfortunately could not help. Yeosang responded with the same, saying that Utopia was hosting a gala and he and San were going. Which left Wooyoung, who said yes, but was pouting that his friends and partners would be at the same party without him.

“Do you want to come with me on Friday to find an outfit to make up for it?” Seonghwa asked, phone pressed to his ear as he meticulously plated Bonhwa's dinner, a colorful arrangement of steamed vegetables and bite-sized chicken.

A theatrical sigh echoed through the phone. "If that's all I can get out of this, then sure."

"I'm sorry you can't go, Woo. I really am," Seonghwa said, his voice softening. He understood Wooyoung's frustration of not being in a “normal” relationship in this world.

A heavy silence washed over them, thick with unspoken emotions. Seonghwa knew Wooyoung, knew he was battling tears. "It just sucks. That I can't love them both in the open," Wooyoung finally whispered, the raw vulnerability in his voice pulling at Seonghwa's heart.

"I know," Seonghwa said softly, his gaze drifting to a framed photo of their group on the counter. "Hopefully someday. Or maybe Yunho is being honest about Utopia being LGBTQ+ friendly."

Wooyoung snorted, the sound abruptly shattering the atmosphere. "Seonghwa, you have the biggest crush on the man who started it all. And that man is definitely gay.

Seonghwa’s brows furrowed in mock indignation. "I do not have a crush on him and you don't know that.”

“My gaydar is always correct."

"No, it's not," Seonghwa retorted, a playful edge creeping into his voice. "Remember Hanchae from Uni? You thought she was straight. She's dating another girl from your year and is trying to adopt a kid. Also, you thought I was straight."

"You were a jock growing up. How was I supposed to know you were bisexual?" Wooyoung defended.

Suddenly, Yeosang's voice cut in. "Everyone knew Seonghwa hyung was gay in some way. He was dating a girl when I met him and I could still tell. Weren’t you his best friend growing up?"

"Okay, smart ass, get off of me," Wooyoung grumbled, and Seonghwa heard a rustling sound, followed by a startled yelp.

“Okay im going now before I hear something I dont want to,” he said into the speaker not waiting for a reply.

After Bonhwa was finally tucked in for the night, Seonghwa found himself in a familiar routine. His phone became glued to his hand. He chatted with a few new matches from his lunch break, their questions blinking on the screen while he swapped between conversations alongside the familiar names of regulars who had returned multiple times throughout the week. The money was already trickling in.

He hadn't spoken to Yesoon since agreeing to attend the gala. He’d wanted to ask about a specific dress code or a color palette, something to guide his choices. But her response had been vague. "Just find an outfit that makes you feel." He wanted to pretend he understood, but the truth was, it had been years since he'd had the privilege of selecting attire for an event to this magnitude. Twenty-seven had been a brutal year, a relentless assault of financial strain and emotional baggage. But now, at twenty-eight, the horizon seemed to be brightening in a very odd way.

Of course, not in the most conventional way. If his parents knew how he was getting the money to pay for his rent and his son's needs, they wouldn't disown him perse, but he knew they would be disappointed. But he can't be more of a burden on them than he already has. The divorce had stripped him bare, leaving him with little more than the clothes on his back and the fierce, unwavering desire for Bonhwa's custody. He hadn't fought for anything else. So his parents helped him find a cheap apartment quickly, one that was within walking distance of his school so Seonghwa didn't have to worry about taking the bus with his small child. And he will forever be grateful for the parents that he has, even when they weren’t as accepting as they could be. But he knew their limits, and their divorced son selling his time and potentially body for money would be dangerously close to the breaking point.

He tried, desperately, to push away the unsettling thought of Bonhwa, years down the line, finding himself in a similar predicament. Driven to such lengths to stay afloat, to shield his loved ones from the relentless gnaw of financial anxiety. He imagined his own disappointment, his own pain, if Bonhwa were to suffer in silence, refusing to ask for help, for guidance. He was trying to raise Bonhwa differently, to shield him from the harsh realities of their financial struggles. Bonhwa was a child, innocent and deserving of a childhood free from the crushing weight of every last penny, of parents sacrificing everything just to pay the water bill. Seonghwa would not allow Bonhwa to experience that kind of pain. He would teach his son the importance of money, yes, but in a way that fostered understanding and responsibility, not fear and desperation.

Seonghwa couldn't help the sigh that escaped him as he wrapped up his last two conversations for the night, the money immediately getting sent to his landlord. The pink notice peaked out from his bedside drawer and he stuffed it back in as he clicked off the light, plunging the room into darkness, save for the soft glow of the alarm clock beside his bed. The numbers mocked him, confirming a full night's rest tonight would be a luxury he could not afford.

Chapter Text

The rest of the week for Seonghwa went by surprisingly fast. When he wasn’t working, with his friends or Bonhwa, he was chatting on Sugar Love. The app and website became rather easy and familiar to navigate as the week went on. Friday came and went. Spending the night after school with Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Bonhwa in different boutiques. He listened to Yesoon and tried to find something that made him feel, but everything felt wrong on his body as he tried on different styles and textures. Until a quiet knock on the dressing room door shattered another failed attempt at finding something. He opened the door to Yeosang holding multiple garments in his hands. 

“I know you were saying you don’t want to wear Utopia to a Utopia event, but I think this will change your mind.”

Seonghwa took everything from Yeosang, the clothing soft against his fingers and as he slid everything on, piece by piece his heart started beating faster, the clothes bringing to life a feeling that he hasn’t felt since he was on stage for the first time in primary school.

When he had stepped out of the dressing room, he heard several gasps and then Wooyoung clapped slowly. “Yeah, you’re definitely wearing that.”

Now it was only an hour before he had to leave for the gala and Seonghwa was staring at the garment bag hanging on the back of his bedroom door. He could hear Wooyoung and Bonhwa giggling and play fighting with each other in the other room as he slowly unzipped the bag revealing his outfit for the night. 

The coat was a striking white. Asymmetrical with one side featuring glass like shards that glittered in the lowlight like silver, with chains and jewels sewn in with care all the way down the arm. The other side flowed gracefully down Seonghwa’s body, the tail of the jacket kissing his calves as he fastened the button at the midpoint of his chest, showing off his collarbones and golden skin. His pants were a stark contrast of black slacks against the white, fitting him perfectly in all the right places before he wrapped the white buckle around his waist, cinching himself tightly, accentuating his figure more than he usually did. 

As he stared at himself in the mirror, he felt like a completely different person. Seeing himself in a way that never came to fruition. His hair fell down his face in waves, Wooyoung spending almost an hour fussing over that and his dark makeup with white shimmer that complimented the silver that glittered on his shoulder and arm. 

He took a deep breath before turning away from the mirror and leaving his room. Wooyoung and Bonhwa had Seonghwa’s living room looking like a disaster when he came out, pillows and cushions all over the room, blankets thrown over multiple chairs, hiding the two culprits that were giggling underneath the makeshift fort. 

“Okay, you two. My car should be here any minute, are you going to come out or am I going to have to mess up my hair and drag you out?”

The giggling instantly stopped before it erupted once more, the blanket moving and finally opened  to reveal his son's head peaking out, “Whoa, you look like a prince.”

Seonghwa replied with a thank you while he opened his arms up, indicating he wanted a hug from Bonhwa before leaving. Bonhwa easily obliged, crawling out of the fort right into Seonghwa’s arms. “You’ll be good for Uncle Woo tonight, right?” Seonghwa felt the response more than heard it, Bonhwa’s head nodding up and down as they held each other tightly. 

“And Uncle Woo won’t feed you any more sugar and let you stay up late, right?” Seonghwa said loudly, his voice carrying to Wooyoung who was finally making his way out of the fort. 

“Uncle Woo said we could sleep out here tonight if you’re okay with it? Like camping but inside!”

Seonghwa pet Bonhwa’s head as he looked down at the hopeful eyes that stared back at him. “As long as you don’t stay up too late—”

“Yes!” Bonhwa said, taking no time to dive back into the blankets. Seonghwa couldn't help the smile that fell on his lips, seeing his son have fun is one of his favorite things in the world and he hoped to always see Bonhwa smile. 

“Please send me a lot of photos of him tonight,” Seonghwa said as they walked out of the small apartment. “I’ll need the reminder to not just up and run away as soon as we get there.”

“You’ll be fine, hyung. You used to do this stuff in your sleep.”

“Never to this scale. There’s a difference between University events and this,” Seonghwa said, motioning at his clothes. “I’m a fake, Wooyoung. I’m going as someone's eye candy. Not as an actual guest. I’m there to look pretty.”

Wooyoung grabbed Seonghwa's shoulders, shaking him slightly before fixing a few pieces of his hair that fell into his eyes. “Yes, unfortunately you are eye candy, but hyung, even if you were going on your own accord, you would still be this beautiful and lovely. People will look at you, because you belong in a place like that. You spent most of your life trying to get there before changing paths. Think of it as a helpful step back into the door that is the world of fashion.”

Seonghwa took a deep breath when he saw a white sleek car pull into his parking lot. It idled for a few seconds before a man in an all black suit stepped out, standing by the back passenger door before opening it and a sleek older woman stepped out. She looked up and waved at them, her dress full and elegant, flowing to the floor in ink like tendrils.

Wooyoung whistled lowly. “Your sugar momma is very pretty for being in her seventies.”

“She’s really nice too,” Seonghwa said, waving back before taking a step away from Wooyoung. “Thank you again for watching Bonhwa. This,” he paused, taking a deep breath. “This will help a lot.”

Wooyoung just nodded his head, a sad smile on his lips as he hugged Seonghwa one more time. Seonghwa knew what he was thinking. Knew that his best friend wanted to go, wanted to be by his partner's sides, wanted to see Seonghwa thrive. But none of their situations were ideal. Wooyoung had to pretend to be a friend, while Seonghwa was getting paid to be a significantly older woman's date. Even though she has been nothing but nice and lovely to talk to, Seonghwa knew his place. Knew that she only started talking to him to take him to this gala, because he was pretty. He knew. He tried not to think about it. 

After he hugged Wooyoung, he descended the stairs, one of his neighbors at the bottom, crocheting on an old wooden bench that should have been replaced years ago. “You’re looking sharp tonight, Seonghwa-ya.”

“Thank you, Mina-ssi. It’s getting cold out, you should go back inside soon.”

The older woman waved him off, going back to her item without looking like she’ll be moving any time soon. Seonghwa had always liked Mina. She had looked after Bonhwa for him a few times when he had emergencies or needed a second of peace and Wooyoung wasn’t around to help. She always crocheted and knit Bonhwa a new scarf and hat every winter, every year fitting him just right even without knowing his sizing. Now she was too sick to watch him even on a good day.

As he walked toward the car, his nerves skyrocketed. He could feel his heart speed up, hammering loudly against his ribcage. Beads of sweat accumulated on his forehead and he just hoped that he wouldn't nervously sweat all his makeup off before he even got to the event. 

“Hello—” he started but was interrupted by Yesoon pulling him into a hug. 

“Hello, my friend,” she said, her perfume engulfing him. “Don’t look so scared. I won’t bite.”

“You’re not the one I’m nervous about,” he said, feeling a bit better after her easy affection towards him. They got in the car, the driver opening the door for both of them. The inside was as sleek as the outer. White leather seats, lowlighting, warm with a hint of Yesoons perfume. 

“A lot of these people are nothing to even glance twice at. This world is full of fakes and people who are just trying to climb the ladder, which I don’t blame them for. To each their own, I suppose. Just be yourself, Seonghwa-ssi. You dressed wonderfully, by the way. How do you feel about it?”

Seonghwa smiled shyly at his outfit, running his fingers along the soft white jacket. “I feel good overall. My best friends, son, and I went to several boutiques before finding something that felt right. I was trying to stay away from Utopia, feeling like I was hitting it too on the nose with wearing something of the brand there, but like you know, they’re my favorite brand, one of the designers is someone I follow very closely. When I slipped into this outfit for the first time, it felt like it was made for me.”

Yesoon sat there listening to him ramble with a smile on her face. “I’m glad you feel that way. It looks beautiful on you. The designer who made that is someone dear to me, almost like a grandson. He’ll be there tonight as well.”

Seonghwa’s brain short circuited as he processed her words. His favorite designer was the man who made this outfit. Utopia had many designers, each one unique in their own way, but Utopia By. Hongjoong had always been Seonghwa’s favorite. He never thought he would be in the same room as Kim Hongjoong. Someone who Seonghwa had basically idolized since Seonghwa first got into fashion when he was a teenager. Following the man on socials that was around the same age as him being so successful gave him hope that he could achieve something early in life. “Kim Hongjoong-ssi will be attending?”

“Of course, dear. This gala is something he orchestrates every year to raise money for Leukemia Children’s Foundation. Would you like me to introduce you two?”

“Please don’t,” Seonghwa said quickly. There was no way that he could be collected around Hongjoong. He not only found Hongjoong inspiring, but also beautiful. Knowing that they will be in the same room was more than enough for him. 

Yesoon laughed, her eyes wrinkled around the edges, sparkling as the lights passed by outside. “I understand. Though, I may be urged to talk with him. Feel free to leave my side any time to get us refreshments when that happens.”

Seonghwa took a deep breath, anticipation still lighting his nerves on fire as he tried to relax. “I have looked up to Hongjoong-ssi for most of my life. He is very talented. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to hold a proper conversation with him even if I wanted to.”

“He certainly has that effect on others. Very charismatic, that one. If you ever need to step away, feel free. You’re not held hostage, Seonghwa-ssi.”

“You’re paying for a service,” Seonghwa said softly.

“My dear,” Yesoon said, leaning forward to grab his hand and hold it tightly in her own. “I am here with my close friend Seonghwa. We may have a transactional relationship, but I don’t see it like that. I want you to enjoy your time tonight. I have grown to love our conversations. You are very mature for your age and know this industry very well even though you are not a part of it. You are not just eye candy to me. You are my friend. I appreciate your time. With that being said, I do want to show you off to a few other board members. I’m tired of them coming at me with the ‘little old lady all alone’ piece. As long as you are comfortable with it, that is.”

Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh, squeezing her hand in response. “Trust me, I know how to make others jealous and that’ll be the best part of the night.”

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa didn’t lie when he said he would make the others jealous. He had men and women wrapped around his fingers as Yesoon made her way through the banquet hall, introducing him to everyone as her wonderful friend who is a primary school teacher. Everyone was shocked when they learned of his profession, wondering why he was not contracted as a model. That’s when Yesoon would butt in, saying he was very grounded and wanted to live a modest life, which wasn’t technically wrong on her end. But he went ahead and let everyone feed his ego as the night went on. They sat through the silent auction, Yesoon bidding on a few items herself, money that would pay off the rest of Bonhwa’s medical bills all at once being whispered around the room making him dizzy. He did meet Yunho’s eyes at one point, his arm wrapped around another man that was just as tall and just as handsome. Seonghwa had never met Yunho’s partner, but he was positive this was him. He hoped he would get to meet him later. As he and Yesoon sat with flutes of champagne on the table in front of them, Yesoon turned to Seonghwa, “I think I would like another drink. Could you go get me something that isn’t sparkling, dear?”

Seonghwa is confused at first and it must be written on his face because she looked to her left before looking back at him. When he glanced over, he made eye contact with none other than Kim Hongjoong. Seonghwa felt his entire body heat up instantly, those eyes not looking away from him until Yesoon gently nudged him, “Better get going, dear. I’m awfully parched.” 

Seonghwa took that moment to look away, smiling quickly at her before he darted off towards the bar. He gulped down another glass of champagne, the bubbles burning his throat. Then, he ordered a lemon raspberry lemonade for Yesoon, not wanting to return empty-handed. He knew she didn’t want anything from the bar, not really. She was looking out for him the entire time, keeping his wish of not being introduced to the beautiful man now occupying Seonghwa’s seat next to her. He watched with bated breath as Hongjoong smiled softly at the woman as she talked to him. 

Soon Hongjoong got up, his structured jacket taut over his shoulders. Hongjoong’s monochrome three piece suit was something that someone would call plain at first glance, but Seonghwa saw the details in the charcoal gray of his lapels, the texture of the dark vest underneath, the cascade of numerous silver necklaces all at different lengths, a stark contrast against the black ensemble. Seonghwa watched as he slipped black leather gloves out of his pocket, pulling them back on before saying his goodbye and kissing Yesoon on the cheek, eyes roaming the hall once more before landing on Seonghwa once again. 

Seonghwa wanted to look away. He was just caught staring at the man, but Hongjoong held his gaze and Seonghwa was too weak to look away. Hongjoong took multiple steps toward him and Seonghwa was ready to combust. He needed to look away. Why was he still looking? His chest started becoming tight when his breath caught in his throat. Hongjoong was so beautiful and he was even more breathtaking in person, mere feet away from Seonghwa. Should he just run? Apologize to Yesoon later? Or should he actually talk to the man still talking toward him? What would he even talk about? 

“Here’s your lemonade,” the bartender said, pushing the drink towards him and interrupting the spiral in Seonghwa’s head. Seonghwa thanked her and when he turned back, Hongjoong was gone, walking towards the stage instead of him, taking the steps two at time. He made it back to his seat right before Hongjoong started his speech. Seonghwa was enthralled the entire time, hanging off of the man's every word as he talked about the charity event and how lucky he was to be able to hold something to this magnitude every year. He mentioned how the clothing that was bid on tonight will be shipped to their respective addresses within the week and said his goodbyes. The applause was thunderous as he bowed, his slicked back blonde hair not moving an inch with the motion. 

Seonghwa couldn’t keep his awestruck face to himself. “Wow,” he muttered.

“He’s a very talented young man,” Yesoon responded, taking a sip of the lemonade that he placed in front of her. “Now, how about you introduce me to your friends that are also here?”

Seonghwa didn’t find Yunho and his partner after Hongjoong’s speech, but he did find Yeosang and San, both dressed beautifully in matching suits. Yesoon took to both of them immediately, mentioning that her grandson was the same age as them and was a model as well. Yeosang met Seonghwa’s eyes in an understanding look. They think that he met Yesoon in university during a workshop that she taught and they recently met up again. But Yeosang was always one to notice and understand before Seonghwa was ready. He just hoped that Yeosang would forget about this or at least choose to.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa took his time getting unready when he got back home. Recounting the entire night to Wooyoung as best he could. Explaining every small detail as he took off his makeup and ran his fingers through his hair. 

“Did you see him?”

Seonghwa turned towards Wooyoung who was sitting on his bed in the same black cat pajamas he always wore when he stayed over, his unstyled and freshly washed hair falling into his eyes. “Yeah, I made eye contact with him and then ran away.”

Wooyoung cackled loudly at this, making Seonghwa basically tackle him to the bed. “Shut the fuck up, do not wake Bonhwa up.”

“That’s just so you, hyung. Running the opposite direction from someone you’ve wanted to meet your whole life.”

“I never said I wanted to meet him. I just admire his hard work and style.”

“Whatever,” Wooyoung said, rubbing his face against Seonghwa’s soft pajamas. “You would love to pick his brain about random things like what kind of cheese he likes on his grilled cheese.”

Seonghwa smacked Wooyoung on his butt lightly, before pulling him in close, both getting comfortable as Seonghwa unlocked his phone. He bypassed all the chat notifications and went straight to his account. The glowing numbers on the screen, a staggering sum from the night stared at him. A flicker of relief crossed his face as he initiated the transfer of the entire balance to his bank account. From there, with another tap, the money flowed directly to his landlord. He only had four more months of back rent to pay and then he would be caught up. Then he could quit pretending.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa took a step back from the Sugar Love app after the charity gala. He only focused on Yesoon and his three other regulars, and even then, he only talked to her when she was free. He did meet up for coffee with one of his regular chat members, but he had a weird vibe from the man the entire time. He wasn’t much older than Seonghwa, but he didn’t like how he was stared down and basically gawked at by the older man. It made Seonghwa feel sleezy. So even though he recently added prices for the second tier, he explained on his profile that meetings will be extremely limited and not everyone who he talked with will be given the opportunity of an in-person meeting. Most people understood. After all, they'd only been chatting for a few weeks, so their connections weren't super deep. This made it easier for them to accept his polite rejections without getting too upset.

But soon the weekend loomed over him and he had no plans. Bonhwa was with his mother for the night so Seonghwa had at least one day to himself. So he spent Friday night on the phone with Wooyoung, swiping left on almost everyone he saw on Sugar Love. 

“Seonghwa, for the love of god, swipe right on someone!” Wooyoung’s voice was sharp with annoyance, and it cut through the quiet hum of Seonghwa’s phone. He was sprawled across his bed, mindlessly scrolling through what felt like an endless parade of profiles on the app.

“I’m older than you, have some respect,” Seonghwa mumbled, not even looking at the tiny Wooyoung in the corner of his screen. He knew Wooyoung was right, but the sheer effort of making a choice felt impossible.

“I’ll have some respect when you actually swipe right. It’s like watching a toddler trying to pick what kind of ice cream flavor they want, except somehow even slower,” Wooyoung said.

Seonghwa sighed, a dramatic sound that was more whiny than he expected. “Yeah, if all of the ice cream was actually frozen yogurt with raisins in it.” 

Wooyoung let out a scoff. “Did you choose raisins because almost everyone you’ve seen tonight is old?”

A full, genuine laugh erupted from Seonghwa, startling himself. He hadn’t realized how tense he’d been. Still chuckling, he swiped left on the current profile without even looking, a purely automatic, muscle-memory action. When his gaze drifted back to his phone, he yelped, a high-pitched sound of alarm, and fumbled, sending the device tumbling off the bed.

“What the hell, hyung? You stopped the facetime call. Are you okay?” Wooyoung’s voice was laced with concern as Seonghwa scrambled to retrieve his phone from the floor, his heart already pounding.

“Oh fuck, please, please tell me I didn’t swipe. Please—” He picked up the phone, holding it gently as if it were a ticking bomb. Slowly he turned it over. He held his breath, the world narrowing to just him and the glowing screen. Wooyoung’s voice from the phone's speaker faded in the background, faded into an indistinct hum as Seonghwa’s eyes landed on the name and picture displayed.

Kim Hongjoong

Age: 27

Profession: Lead Designer and Chief Creative Officer at Utopia

Bio: I need a muse.

There was only a single picture on Hongjoong’s profile, yet it was enough to capture Seonghwa completely. He was leaning back against a luxurious black tufted couch, an aura of effortlessness radiating from him. His golden blonde hair was artfully tousled, a few strands falling across one of his eyes as he gazed off to the side. A striped scarf was wrapped around his neck, covering half of his face. He held a bright pink guitar haphazardly, a slight pout on his lips that somehow only enhanced the look. Seonghwa stared at the photo and he felt a dizzying mix of disbelief and fascination.

“This has to be fake, right?” Seonghwa whispered, his voice barely audible.

Wooyoung, whose video call box was gone from the screen. “Share your screen, hyung!”

“It’s Hongjoong,” Seonghwa breathed, his voice laced with awe and disbelief. “I’m staring at his profile. He has a profile on Sugar Love.”

A beat of silence stretched between them before Wooyoung spoke again, his tone now tinged with a hint of genuine curiosity. “Do you think it’s fake?”

“No,” Seonghwa said, the word coming out in a rush. “I don’t think it is. Sugar Love is pretty extensive on their background checks. They pride themselves on weeding out fakes.”

“Swipe right,” Wooyoung instructed, his voice firm.

“Hell no,” Seonghwa immediately countered, though his thumb remained hovering dangerously close to the screen. He couldn’t bring himself to move it away.

“Seonghwa, if someone your own age, someone as successful, and well, someone like Kim Hongjoong is on that app, you need to take it and run with it. Worst case, he doesn’t swipe right, and you just move on. No harm, no foul. You’ve looked up to him for over a decade. Using his success to work harder. Talk with him.” Wooyoung’s logic made sense, yet Seonghwa’s mind raced with a thousand anxieties.

Seonghwa continued to stare at the screen, transfixed by Hongjoong’s minimal information and that single picture. There was absolutely no way, he reasoned with himself that someone like Hongjoong would ever match with someone as ordinary as himself. Hongjoong was probably already talking to a dozen other highly successful sugar babies on the app, individuals with far more experience, more prestige, more… everything than Seonghwa possessed.

“Hyung, I swear to—” Wooyoung’s voice, growing impatient again, began to rise in the background.

Before Seonghwa could overthink the situation any further, before the doubt could completely consume him, his thumb slid across the screen. The screen changed instantly, but instead of the mundane green checkmark he was used to, a vibrant pink heart erupted on his screen, expanding rapidly with Hongjoong’s photo perfectly centered within it.

Instant Match!

“Holy shit,” Seonghwa said, the words barely escaping his lips.

Wooyoung’s complaining in the background intensified, but its urgency was lost to Seonghwa. A roaring sound filled his ears, growing louder and louder, drowning out every other sound in the room until all he could hear was the frantic, thunderous drumbeat of his own blood pumping through his veins.

“Seonghwa, I swear. Do I need to go over there right now? I’ll do it and you know I will—” Wooyoung’s voice was finally beginning to penetrate Seonghwa’s shock.

“I instant matched with Hongjoong,” the words tumbling out in a breathless rush.

A moment of silence from Wooyoung, then, “Oh. That’s good, right?” His voice was hesitant, as if trying to gauge the appropriate reaction.

Seonghwa’s head was spinning, a whirlwind of emotions and disbelief. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, the feeling so overwhelmingly intense it threatened to consume him. Kim Hongjoong. Kim Hongjoong, the elusive and brilliant Lead Designer and Chief Creative Officer at Utopia, had matched with him. With plain Seonghwa, whose profile consisted of just a few candid photos of himself, and one that Wooyoung had practically forced him to upload right before he left for the gala, a rare glimpse of him looking slightly more put-together than usual, wearing the clothes that were made by the man he just matched with. The sheer impossibility of it all left him speechless. 

No1likeme

Hello

“Wooyoung.”

“What?”

“Wooyoung.”

“Hyung—”

“He messaged me,” Seonghwa said. His jaw opened in disbelief as he read over the simple greeting. 

Nothing was said for what seemed like hours, but Seonghwa knew it was only a couple seconds of silence wrapping around them before Wooyoung screeched, startling Seonghwa so bad he almost dropped his phone again. “Are you going to accept his hour?”

“It’s so late, though,” Seonghwa said.

“It’s late and you’re free until Sunday. Bonhwa is at Minjae’s and with how your conversation went last time, maybe she’ll actually spend more than ten hours with him. Stay up late, talk with your crush—”

“He is not my crush—”

“Hyung, I used to watch you watch edits of that man like they were water and you were stuck in a desert. Talk with him. Do something for yourself. You deserve it.”

Seonghwa took a deep breath, steeling himself for potentially the most awkward conversation he will have ever had. What does he even say to someone like this? To someone he has idolized and put on a pedestal since he was young? He said goodbye to Wooyoung, letting the younger man know that yes, Seonghwa will keep Wooyoung updated, and no, Seonghwa won’t ignore Hongjoong and will actually respond. With those promises, Seonghwa was left alone with the chat, accepting the hour that Hongjoong started before he said hello.

Starhwa

Hello, Hongjoong-ssi.

No1likeme

Ah, so polite. I’m younger than you, no need for formalities.

Starhwa

I don’t ever want to come off as rude, especially with a first meeting

No1likeme

But this isn’t our first meeting

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. He remembered Seonghwa. Somehow Hongjoong remembered him from the gala. Even just in passing, how the fuck did he remember Seonghwa?

Starhwa

We didn’t speak one word to each other. Technically we never met

No1likeme 

And who’s fault was that? I was excited to meet my close friend’s new acquaintance. 

Should Seonghwa be honest? How could he possibly explain the overwhelming sensation of being in the same room as him? It wasn't just intimidating. It was a physical response, a full-body experience that left Seonghwa feeling exposed and vulnerable when their eyes met.

Starhwa

You are rather intimidating.

No1likeme

Says the one who held the attention of the entire room all night.

Starhwa

You know you don’t need to flatter me, right? 

I’m a sugar baby. I should be flattering you.

No1likeme

If you want to call it flattery, go ahead.

But everything I said was the truth.

Seonghwa laid back in his bed, turning off the bedside light while he crawled under the blankets. He and Hongjoong still have about forty minutes to talk and with how blunt Hongjoong was, Seonghwa knew his heart wouldn't calm down enough for him to even think about sleeping. 

No1likeme

Tell me, Seonghwa. 

What made you run away when you saw me?

Starhwa

I didn’t run away. I simply went to get Yesoon-ssi a drink.

No1likeme

You already had champagne, why go order another?

Starhwa

You were watching me?

No1likeme

That makes me sound like a creep

There were so many people wearing my designs

But none of them held a candle with how you looked.

I wanted to talk with you, but Yesoon said you were shy. 

It hurts my feelings when you talked with everyone else but me

Starhwa

Are you always so honest?

No1likeme 

I’m always honest

Usually not this forward

Starhwa

Hongjoong-ssi, do you have ulterior motives that I need to know about?

No1likeme

I do actually have a proposition for you

It’s very short notice and I know on your profile you said meetings were after weeks of chats, but I’m desperate. 

He’s desperate so he came to a sugar baby app. Honestly, that makes more sense to Seonghwa. The man probably needed a last minute date to something or someone to warm his bed. 

Starhwa

I’m not your typical sugar baby, there’s a lot I won’t help with. 

No1likeme

One of my models who was supposed to be prototyping for me tomorrow won’t be able to make it because he’s sick and I need someone close to his stature. 

Starhwa

And… You want me to do that?

No1likeme

Yes

Seonghwa is definitely confused. This man has the entire fashion industry at his feet, groveling for even a chance to be in the same room as him. Why was he needing help from Seonghwa? Seonghwa who hasn’t walked a runway since college, Seonghwa who was definitely not in shape anymore, Seonghwa who was poor and using his extra time to talk with lonely people as a sugar baby. 

No1likeme

Everyone at Utopia always has something to do when they are not off. It’ll be hard for me to find someone last minute. 

Starhwa

You said tomorrow?

I can do it in the morning, but I have to be free for the night.

No1likeme

Perfect. Come to Utopia around ten? Just tell the front desk your name and that you’re there to see me. Thank you, Seonghwa-ssi. 

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Utopia was a vibrant hub of activity as Seonghwa stepped off the bus, people going in and out with large light blue bags with the words Find Your Utopia on the front in a mixture of bold and elegant font. Seonghwa had never ventured inside the building before, but he was well aware of the expansive store occupying its first floor, a public space where many designers showcased their unique creations. The space was a curated exhibition of pieces that hadn't quite made it to the runway, designs that never entered mass production. Utopia prided itself on its commitment to sustainability, actively working to minimize fashion waste, so denied projects still found a home. 

The building itself presented two distinct entrances, both under the gaze of security. One side, however, was clearly cornered off from the general public, marked by a prominent reception desk and a bank of elevators beyond, hinting at the exclusive world within its upper floors. As Seonghwa walked up to the desk, the one secretary there looked up from her book, smiling softly.

“Hello, how can I help you?”

“I’m supposed to be meeting Kim Hongjoong-ssi today?”

“Ah, Seonghwa-ssi?”

“Yes ma’am.”

She nodded, her fingers flying across the keyboard of her computer. With a soft click, she produced a keycard, holding it out as she rose gracefully from her desk. "Right this way," she stated, her voice calm and professional.

She led him to a sleek, chrome-finished elevator, its polished surface reflecting the lighting of the lobby. With practiced ease, she swiped the keycard over a discreet panel, the doors sliding open with a soft hum. Once inside, she repeated the action on an internal reader before pressing a button illuminated with the number in the fifties.

"I've already informed Hongjoong-nim of your arrival," she explained, her gaze meeting Seonghwa's. "However, if he doesn’t meet you at the elevator, his work room is situated at the very end of the hall, directly across from where the doors will open."

Seonghwa offered a grateful nod and a quiet "thank you" as the elevator doors whispered shut. The soft, instrumental elevator music that began to play was a gentle, familiar tune that resonated with a distant memory. It reminded him of the countless lofi YouTube videos he would often listen to late at night with Bonhwa when all that would calm him down was white noise.

The ascent was surprisingly fast, unbroken by any additional passengers. Seonghwa had imagined a much longer ride, given the considerable height he was ascending, yet within a minute, the doors slid back open. He stepped out onto an expansive, open floor, the space punctuated by numerous doors. The silence of the floor was only broken by the distant hum of unseen machinery and the soft echoes of his own footsteps. At the end of the hall stood a door ajar, the sounds of a sewing machine louder now that he was pushing the door open slightly to peek in and his gaze immediately landed on the figure. 

Hongjoong was dressed simply, in what looked to be well-worn, plain blue jeans that hugged his lean frame paired with a baggy hoodie with a turtleneck underneath. His blonde hair was neatly pushed back and tucked beneath a newsboy cap. The man was leaning intently over a large, industrial-looking sewing machine, its metallic body adorned with an eclectic assortment of random stickers, a faded band logo here, a cartoon character there, each one a tiny glimpse into his personality. His fingers guided a piece of fabric along the needle with an almost mesmerizing precision. Seonghwa watched, captivated, as Hongjoong's hands moved with practiced ease, never a moment of hesitation, never a doubt in the fluid, confident movements that brought the garment to life. It was clear that this was not merely a task, but an extension of himself.

Before he could get truly lost in his silent observation, and before Hongjoong might catch him staring, Seonghwa gave a light, apologetic knock on the door. The man in front of him jumped, his shoulders rising in a surprised jolt. When their eyes met, Seonghwa watched as Hongjoong’s stiffness from the unexpected intrusion melted away into a kind smile. “Seonghwa-ssi.”

“Hello, sorry, I’m a little early—”

Hongjoong stood, stretching his back and cracking his neck as he straightened himself from the bent-over position there’s no telling how long the man stayed in. “You’re perfectly on time. I get lost in my work more often than not. How are you? I hope the ride over here wasn’t too hectic.”

Seonghwa was a little taken back by how normal and open Hongjoong was. The aura that surrounded the man when out in public is completely different from the man in front of him. “It was fine. There were some rowdy teens on the bus but nothing I couldn't handle.”

“Next time let me send a car for you,” Hongjoong said, pulling out his phone. “How much was the bus fare? I'll add it on.”

“Oh,” Seonghwa said, surprised. Next time? “No, don't worry about it. It's change and not worth the hassle.”

Hongjoong looked up from his phone then, peering over his glasses with his eyebrows raised. “If you don't tell me how much it was, I'll just send over a random amount and I don't think you want that.”

“It was two thousand won, Hongjoong-ssi. I could find that on the street—”

“Lovely. I'll add that to your account as well. Thank you, Seonghwa-ssi. Should we both check into the app now?”

Seonghwa couldn't help but stare at the man as he tapped away on his phone, the familiar pink of the Sugar Love app illuminating his face slightly. Seonghwa followed suit, by passing all the other conversations he chose to ignore for the morning to get ready to see Hongjoong. 

He didn’t want to look like he was trying too hard, but also didn’t want to look too casual either, but he knew he would have to take clothes off to put more on so Seonghwa wore a striped button down with a gray tanktop underneath, both tucked into a pair of black slacks. And as soon as they both checked in with the app, Hongjoong threw his phone onto the plush chair he was just sitting on. “Okay,” he said as he clapped his hands together. “Usually I would ask my model to fully strip down to their underwear but I have a feeling you aren’t comfortable with that, so I asked for a partition to be brought in.”

Seonghwa looked to the back corner of the large room, a huge black wall blocking the corner from the rest of the open space and floor to ceiling windows, and suddenly he felt most of his worry slip from his shoulders. 

“All we’re doing is checking how my pieces look and move on someone. I’ll have you walk around, stretch, sit, and just be honest on how it feels. I did make this with one of my models in mind, so the waist and upper arms will probably be bigger, but the important thing is the shoulders and chest. Do you mind if I take your measurements? Just to make sure?”

Seonghwa just nodded, a little overwhelmed with all the information being thrown at him, but he started unbuttoning his shirt, happy that he wore the tanktop underneath. As Hongjoong moved around him with practiced ease, telling him to raise and lower his arms, the measurements were written down in a notebook Hongjoong had on one of the large tables in the middle of the room. 

Seonghwa appreciated the size and color that burst from the room itself, the walls filled with different textiles and colors. Seonghwa couldn’t see any rhyme or reason to the random array climbing up the walls, but he’d guess that Hongjoong could find everything he needed in the organized mess. There were mannequins all over, each one with varying stages of clothes being finished. But what intrigued Seonghwa the most was the paper. There was paper with designs all over the wall by what looked to be Hongjoong’s personal desk. Some were tapped up carefully while others had a thumbtack through the middle of it. 

All the designs were beautiful. Even with the disarray, Seonghwa was happy to put his attention on them instead of Hongjoong, who was now moving a mannequin behind the large partition that he set up for Seonghwa.

“Let’s go with something more simple first. This outfit is definitely more in the casual wear category and doesn’t necessarily need to be prototyped but I want to make sure the design on the jeans fit correctly.”

Seonghwa followed him over and Hongjoong gestured for Seonghwa to step inside before moving away and talking through the makeshift wall. “We’ll have three more outfits after this one. I have a feeling that I’ll want to change a few things on multiple pieces, so you may have to stand there in each piece for longer than necessary, but well, I’m a perfectionist and like to take my time on my art. I hope that’s okay.”

Seonghwa took a deep breath as he slipped his shoes and slacks off, reaching for the jeans that looked to have intricate stitching all over the legs and thighs. As he slipped them on, the fabric was softer than any jean he’s worn before, amazed at the texture of the inside before stepping outside to find Hongjoong sitting on one of the tables, sketchbook in hand. Hongjoong took his time looking at Seonghwa, but not just the pants, even though that was the only piece Seonghwa was testing right now, since Hongjoong didn’t give him a shirt to change into as well.

“Let me grab something.” Hongjoong jumped off the table and grabbed a bright pink belt, slipping it in the belt loops and cinching Seonghwa’s waist slightly. Hongjoong took his time as he walked around Seonghwa, checking the stitching of the design that ran up his thigh, making sure it wasn’t digging too much into his skin. “Could you sit down for me, cross your legs, maybe even sit on one leg? So I can see if the design cuts into you in any way?”

And sit he does. Seonghwa does every small task Hongjoong wanted him to do in each outfit without complaint, which wasn’t a lot, but he hoped he made the whole process easier for the younger man. Seonghwa was getting paid to be here after all and he didn’t want to disappoint. The last outfit was an all black ensemble, something that almost looked like it came out of a pirate movie or novel.

The blouse was large on him, the sleeves going way past his fingertips, and the ribbon went even further. The bottom of the blouse went past his hips, almost to mid thigh and the pants were also very large, but fit perfectly around his waist. The fabric pooled at his feet, making him feel almost like a little kid again.

When he stepped out from behind the wall, Hongjoong was laying out multiple pieces on the table, accessories to the outfit that currently swallowed Seonghwa whole. When Hongjoong looked up, he let out a small laugh before apologizing. “I’m sorry, you just look like a child the way you waddled out.”

“I feel like a child,” Seonghwa muttered, holding out his arms to show how the fabric drooped around him.

Hongjoong stepped forward, running his hand lightly down Seonghwa’s arm and stopping at his wrist, pulling the sleeves up and pulling on the ribbons, cinching the cuffs until they laid snug against his wrist, making the shirt already have more definition than before. Seonghwa is glad none of his skin is showing, the bumps that erupted on his skin at the touch of the other man almost made him shiver. Hongjoong continued moving around him not noticing the issue Seonghwa felt , pulling on random ribbons to shape the blouse how he envisioned it.

"Raise your arms,” Hongjoong said from behind Seonghwa. As he did, Hongjoong slipped something over his head. When he looked down, he saw it was a leather corset filled with small silver eyelets. The ribbon put into each eyelet looked to have so much care put in, like Hongjoong didn’t want the satin to wrinkle. When Hongjoong moved to the front, he situated the corset before grabbing the ribbon to start cinching his waist. “I made this for the waist to be the main focal point. For all this to be a cascade of darkness with a tightness at the waist to create a dramatic silhouette. If it becomes too tight, let me know, but his really isn’t for comfortability. It’s a statement.”

Seonghwa nodded, and held out his arms as Hongjoong worked, slowly making sure the ribbon stayed even as he continued tightening, Seonghwa’s waist had always been small but when Hongjoong finally tied off the corset and stepped back, the other man couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. Hongjoong looked like he was starving and Seonghwa was the prey ready to be devoured. This was the man Seonghwa was used to seeing on social media. The hunger in his eyes that showed everything but also gave nothing away of what he was thinking.

“Hongjoong-ssi?” Seonghwa said, starting to feel self conscious with how long Hongjoong had been staring at him. But the words didn’t do much to dwindle the fire. Hongjoong stepped forward, his hands reaching out to grab Seonghwa by the waist, squeezing hard before releasing him and grabbing the last accessory he laid out, a long plain silver necklace that Hongjoong made sure laid perfectly in the center right above where the corset ribbon started.

“Wow,” Hongjoong said, taking several steps back. “I was unsure about this piece. I didn’t think it would make the runway, but you look amazing.”

Seonghwa could feel the heat that crept up his neck and he hoped the bb cream he wore covered most of the redness on his face.

“Can I take a few photos of you in this?”

Seonghwa was startled by the question. Hongjoong didn’t take one photo the entire morning, opting to write everything down in a notebook or fixing it while still on Seonghwa. The idea of Hongjoong having photos of him makes something curl deep in his stomach, but before he even thought about the feeling for more than a second, he nodded his head. “Sure, this is your work.”

Hongjoong looked at him for a few seconds more before grabbing his phone, and posing Seonghwa against the plain white wall. Hands in his pockets, hair falling in front of his face, he felt… good. He felt really good. There was something about wearing handcrafted and beautifully made clothes with the creator right in front of you, praising how you look in his clothes. Seonghwa loved every second of it, basically feeding off of the entire experience.

“That’s all I have for today, Seonghwa-ssi. Feel free to change back into your streetwear,” Hongjoong said as he grabbed Seonghwa’s waist again, pulling him closer where they’re only a few inches apart. Hongjoong took his time loosening the corset and the rest of the shirt, his fingers lingering on Seonghwa’s skin at his wrists, the last bit that took the shape away from the entire outfit. Seonghwa changed quickly, trying his hardest to keep all the ribbons untangled. When he turned the corner he found Hongjoong still on his phone.

“We still have about thirty minutes. Would you like to come with me to the restaurant and get a bite to eat?” Hongjoong asked.

“Oh, it’s okay. I don’t want to waste your time—”

Hongjoong’s eyes were sharp when he looked up, slicing through Seonghwa’s self doubt. “If I didn’t have time, I wouldn’t have invited you, Seonghwa-ssi. I told you before I am always honest. Lunch?”

Seonghwa opened his mouth to accept the offer when his phone in his bag started ringing, startling him and walking to his bag he placed on one of the many tables. “Hello?”

“Seonghwa, I had something at work come up. Could I drop him off at your apartment?”

He saw red as he gripped his phone harder, the words nothing new from Minjeong. “When?” he asked, trying to sound as calm as he could.

“Bonhwa and I are actually at a restaurant close to your place for lunch. So soon?”

Seonghwa couldn’t help but think that she went to a restaurant close to his place for a reason. “I'm not at home but I can be there in thirty minutes.”

“We'll be at the park near yours then,” she said before hanging up. 

Seonghwa sighed, keeping his back towards Hongjoong to give himself a few seconds to calm down before giving the other man an apologetic look. “I'm sorry, Hongjoong-ssi. Something came up and I unfortunately will not be able to stay.” 

“Do you want a ride? I could—”

Seonghwa grabbed his bag and slung it over his head, situating it against his body while shaking his head. “I don't want to inconvenience you. But I appreciate the offer.”

“Seonghwa-ssi,” Hongjoong started, grabbing Seonghwa's wrist to hold him in place. Before Seonghwa could respond, Hongjoong let go just as quickly, looking confused as to why he grabbed onto the older. “Nevermind. Please get to your destination safely. I'll check out on the app as soon as you leave.”

“Thank you, Hongjoong-ssi. This was an amazing experience. I'm glad you asked me to help.”

“I should be thanking you. You really saved my ass.”

Seonghwa bowed as he left the room, rushing to the elevator. He knew this was going to happen. That's why he told Hongjoong he could only meet during the day, but he wasn't expecting Minjeong to call at noon, only keeping Bonhwa not even twenty-four hours. When he's finally settled on the bus, he pulled out his phone, checking into the app and closing the date before opening his chat with his friends.

Seonghwa

Guess who is on the way to my house right now

Wooyoung 

hopefully a hot date

Yeosang

Wooyoung?

Wooyoung

Baby, i'm literally in the kitchen making you soup

Yeosang

I'm sick don't bully me 

San

Minjeong

Seonghwa

Ding ding ding. Minjeong didn't even keep him for twenty four hours this time

Also sick? Are you okay, yeo?

Yeosang

I'm okay, just a cold. 

Seonghwa 

my babyyyyyy

Wooyoung. San. You both better be taking care of him like the prince he is.

Wooyoung

DONT EVEN COME AT ME WITH THAT 

San

yessir

Yeosang

It's fine but back to Minjeong

What the fuck

San 

No seriously. You didn't ask for anything from the divorce the least she can do is spend time with her kid

Seonghwa

I don't even care that she ruined my plans for the day. If i get to that play ground and Bonhwa is upset, I'll BE SWINGING

San

Hyung we all know you cant and won't do that

Seonghwa

I KNOW 

Wooyoung

He can't but I can 

Yeosang

I won't bust you out of prison

Wooyoung

Yes, you would.

Yeosang

.. yeah 

San

Maybe you could talk and figure this out like adults

Wooyoung

He and Minjeong were never good at talking

Seonghwa

SHE was never good at talking 

Wooyoung

pot, meet kettle

Seonghwa

Shut up that was one time

Wooyoung

twice

San

wtf are you two talking about

Seonghwa

nothing

Wooyoung

exactly

Seonghwa

My stop is coming up.

I'll let you know how the conversation goes 

Seonghwa didn’t have much time to talk with her as he watched Minjeong sped off, the sound of her tires on the pavement fading quickly. He held Bonhwa's small hand, the silence between them heavy and unfamiliar. Usually, Bonhwa would be bubbling over with stories from his time with Minjeong, but today, his shoulders slumped, and his gaze was fixed on the ground. Seonghwa tried to draw him out, asking about the games they played or what they ate, but Bonhwa only offered short answers, his voice barely above a whisper. A knot tightened in Seonghwa's stomach because he recognized that particular kind of quiet, the one where you had too many emotions to understand. He worried he wouldn't be able to coax his son back to his usual cheerful self.

As soon as the apartment door clicked shut behind them, Seonghwa knelt and enveloped Bonhwa in a tight hug. The dam broke, and Bonhwa buried his face in Seonghwa's shoulder, his small body trembling with silent sobs that soon turned into heart-wrenching wails. Seonghwa held him close, rocking him gently, murmuring reassurances until the intensity of the crying began to subside. When Bonhwa finally pulled away, his face was tear-streaked and puffy, but his eyes held a flicker of emotion. Seonghwa tenderly wiped his son's cheeks, whispering "I love you so much, my sweet boy," repeatedly kissing his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, until a watery giggle finally escaped Bonhwa’s lips, a sound that was music to Seonghwa's ears.

"Do you want to take a nap, baby? And then afterwards, we can go and do whatever you want— we can go to the park, or get ice cream, or even go to the bookstore, just us," Seonghwa suggested softly, knowing from experience that after a good cry, Bonhwa needed a complete emotional reset. He led Bonhwa to his bedroom, tucked him snugly under the covers, and lay beside him. Seonghwa's fingers gently combed through Bonhwa's soft hair, a soothing rhythm that quickly lulled the little boy to sleep. 

Seonghwa carefully slipped out of the room, leaving the door ajar just enough to hear if Bonhwa stirred. The apartment felt unusually quiet now, the earlier tension replaced by a melancholic stillness. He began to clean, methodically tidying up the living room, then moving to the kitchen, wiping down counters and arranging dishes. The mundane tasks allowed his mind to wander, to process the chaotic events of the day. He needed this time, this quiet space, to de-stress and strategically plan his next steps. The sight of Bonhwa's tears had been a stark reminder of the emotional toll their current situation was taking on his son. He was tired, so incredibly tired, of seeing Bonhwa hurt. Bonhwa was an incredibly sweet and sensitive boy, he felt everything with his whole heart, a trait Seonghwa understood all too well. Feelings, especially difficult ones, could become overwhelming even for an adult, let alone a six-year-old boy who was still learning how to navigate new and unknown emotions. Seonghwa knew something had to change. 

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa ended up taking Bonhwa to a large park near the Han river, getting ice cream, and going to a bookstore. He spent more money than he should have, but seeing his son light up as Seonghwa let him pick a new toy and a new book was priceless. Plus, he could probably just accept a few chats that have been waiting in his inbox all day.

They finished the night with Bonhwa’s choice of movie and a pizza they picked up on the way home, full of different meats, and no veggies because “why would someone do that to their pizza?” Bonhwa said. By the time Seonghwa tucked Bonhwa into bed that night, he was his normal happy boy. The boy that smiled and tried to make everyone feel comfortable, the boy who loved with his whole heart. Seonghwa kissed his forehead before leaving the room, his son was out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow. When Seonghwa finally got settled in bed, he texted an update to the group chat and he opened Sugar Love, going to the messages and scrolling through to see a message from both Yesoon and more surprisingly, Hongjoong. Yesoon was wanting to meet up for lunch tomorrow to catch up, but letting her know that he would not be able to go due to having his son. She graciously extended the offer to Bonhwa as well, but Seonghwa doesn’t know if introducing someone that Seonghwa met from a sugar baby website was the smartest thing to do, but he overall trusted Yesoon and it would be good for Seonghwa to get Bonhwa out of the house again tomorrow. He replied that he would love to and then moved to Hongjoong. 

No1likeme

I hope everything is okay with your emergency

Let me know if you need anything

I know this may be presumptuous of me but I hope you made it home safely

Starhwa

Hi Hongjoong

Yes, I’m sorry I didn’t respond. Something had my entire attention tonight

I’m home now. Thank you so much for checking up on me

Seonghwa exited out of the chat, going to check his balance, only to see it had way too many digits. He checked the last transactions, seeing Hongjoong transferring way too much over to him

Starhwa

Hongjoong-ssi, you transferred the wrong amount into my account. I will email my representative and have them send it back.

No1likeme

I meant to send that much

Starhwa

We agreed on 500,000

No1likeme

You helped me more than that amount. I wanted to add in more for the short notice and how insightful the whole experience was

Starhwa

I just stood there!

That’s no reason to send me double what we agreed upon.

No1likeme

Not to sound full of myself, but this money is nothing to me. 

Seonghwa couldn’t help rolling his eyes at the statement. A typical rich person who just threw money around like it will fix all their problems. Which, honestly, it probably does. Seonghwa knew it would fix a lot of his problems, but not everything. 

Starhwa

That’s not the point.

I get that I’m a sugar baby, but I don’t want people to be throwing extra money at me.

This is hard enough for me and I don’t like owing others.

We agreed on a price and I want you to uphold that. 

No1likeme

I’m sorry, Seonghwa. Truly.

I didn’t think it would be a problem.

Please still keep the money.

But I won’t send more than our agreed upon terms next time 

Starhwa

I’m sending it back

No1likeme

Go on a date with me 

Starhwa

Excuse me?

No1likeme

You said you don’t like owing people.

Instead of sending it back, how about I take you out? 

Seonghwa stared at his screen for a long time, the glow illuminating the subtle furrow in his brow. A deep sigh escaped him and he wondered why he was even considering going on this date. He kept saying yes to in person meetings. He did think about Yesoon's offer for more than a couple days, but he still decided to say yes, even though his rule was weeks of talking. Yet, here he was again talking with Kim Hongjoong, a name that had only recently entered his immediate life, and asked to meet immediately, and Seonghwa said yes with no hesitation. The only thing he second guessed was if he would even be able to help the younger man, not that he was breaking his own rules he set to not branch out too quickly with meetings with total strangers. 

But to Seonghwa, Hongjoong wasn’t truly a stranger. He had spent most of his teen and young adult life following the other on various socials. From carefully curated art installations to candid glimpses of everyday life, Hongjoong's online presence had been a constant fixture in Seonghwa's world. Of course, Seonghwa didn’t truly know him in the conventional sense, not beyond the glimpses of a public persona. Yet, despite this, he couldn't deny that Hongjoong had never made him uncomfortable once during their brief few hours the other day.

In fact, Seonghwa felt too comfortable with him. Their connection seemed genuine as they worked through all the clothing, something he would have never anticipated happening in his life. The unexpected pull he felt towards Hongjoong inevitably swayed his decision, overriding his cautious nature and saying yes to the date. 

Starhwa

Okay

No1likeme

Okay? Are you sure?

Seonghwa couldn't help but giggle 

Starhwa

Why do you sound so surprised? 

No1likeme

I was expecting you to say no

Starhwa

I still can

No1likeme

No! 

No, it's okay. Just tell me a day you’re free and I’ll make a dinner reservation

Starhwa 

Just dinner?

I was expecting the famous Kim Hongjoong to have something better up his sleeve

No1likeme

Oh, I have plenty up my sleeve. 

Don't worry, I'm just getting started. 

I like to build anticipation.

Chapter Text

Seonghwa found himself more distracted than usual at work, his mind constantly drifting back to Hongjoong. He tried to focus on his students, on Bonhwa, on the familiar rhythm of his daily life, but Hongjoong's words echoed in his thoughts. What exactly did "build anticipation" even mean for someone like Kim Hongjoong? Seonghwa even found himself checking his phone more often than he cared to admit, hoping for another message to pop up from the designer, but all he had received was radio silence all week until the day of their date. 

That Saturday morning was completely mundane for Seonghwa. He woke up early, made breakfast for himself and Bonhwa, and worked on his lesson plans as Bonhwa watched cartoons. He was texting with Yesoon during the morning, setting up a time to go out to breakfast next week while Bonhwa was with Minjeong. Seonghwa ended up giving Yesoon his personal number, telling her that he saw her as a friend and didn’t want their relationship to be transactional anymore. She agreed, but only if she could still pay when they were out. Seonghwa didn’t try to argue with her. As he was about to set his phone down and really focus on the papers in front of him, a Sugar Love chat popped up. Seonghwa accepted Hongjoong’s hour easily, almost too quickly.

No1likeme

Can I have your address?

Starhwa

….

That’s creepy

No1likeme 

No it's not????

I need to know where to pick you up from

Starhwa

Telling a sugar daddy my address…

Definitely breaks my rules

No1likeme 

Seonghwa-ssi

Don’t make me beg for it 

Seonghwa couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. He would love to see the man beg, but that was something he would never let the other know. 

Starhwa

Stop being so formal 

No1likeme

Seonghwa-ya~

Please? 

The next message that popped up was a selfie of Hongjoong with a pout on his face. His golden hair was artfully messy. Some of it was pushed back while some strands were left to fall into his eyes. He wore a pair of narrow, rectangular sunglasses that sat low on his nose, really doing no work to protect his eyes from the sun and it looked like he was in a car. Seonghwa always planned on sending him where his apartment complex was to be picked up tonight, but he couldn’t deny how fun it was to tease Hongjoong.

Starhwa

I’ll have you know that pouting does not work on me

Also

 your sunglasses are doing absolutely nothing for sun protection

No1like me

There’s no way you can resist my charm

It’s called fashion, Seonghwa-yah

I’m headed to an interview

I have to look nice 

Seonghwa decided to ignore the statement about fashion, trying to tone down the thoughts of how whiney Hongjoong seemed to be on a daily basis. The man was cuter than Seonghwa expected.

Starhwa

I have and I will 

No1likeme 

Not very well 

Starhwa

I’m leaving now 

No1likeme

ADDRESS!!!!

Starhwa

<location sent>

No1likeme

And my charm worked again

Seonghwa snorted as he put his phone down on the worn surface of the coffee table. The screen went dark, but the playful teasing that happened between them lingered in his mind. The photo of Hongjoong pouting popped up in his head too often to be normal and it took all of his energy to focus on the work in front of him.

Hours bled into one another as the sun dipped lower in the sky casting golden shadows into his apartment. The click of the lock as his friends entered his apartment, the cheerful chatter of Wooyoung and San debating a new video game while San held Bonhwa in his lap, and the calm, steady presence of Yeosang arranging their takeout containers on the kitchen counter comforted him. When his phone buzzed again, he was surprised that it was Hongjoong again.

No1likeme

There should be a package for you outside. Be ready by eight, please.

Seonghwa stared at the message, a slow smile spreading across his face. "A package," he muttered to himself as he went to open his door and was surprised by a blue box with an orange bow  wrapped around it. Utopia’s signature colors. 

As he brought in the box, all eyes were on him.

“Who dropped off a Utopia box?” Yeosang asked, moving closer.

Seonghwa's cheeks flushed as he carefully unwrapped the silky bow. Yeosang and San were still unaware about the sugar baby arrangements, believing he was simply going on a date after years of avoiding it like the plague. They were excited for him, readily agreeing to babysit Bonhwa after he told them about meeting the mystery man at the recent charity gala. Inside the tissue paper he found perfectly folded pure black clothing, a striking contrast to the surrounding blue and orange.

“Damn, your guy is rich,” San said as Seonghwa pulled the first piece out of the box. The blazer had been cropped with a deep v-line and pleated sleeves, and the pants were straight cut. What really caught his eye however, was the detail of the lace-up cutout design on the sides, running from the waistband down to the hip. The lacing had consisted of multiple thin cords that created a cage-like effect, meant to expose the skin at his waist. He immediately left the group to go try it on. 

The entire fit was the definition of simplicity, yet the fabric felt luxurious. The black stood out against his skin, and his waist being bare was something he didn’t do often, if ever. But the clothing felt like it was made for him, fitting perfectly against his body. He added a few subtle silver rings and a delicate chain, deciding against anything too flashy. He wanted to feel confident, not like he was trying too hard.

As eight o'clock approached, Seonghwa felt a flutter of nerves mixed with genuine excitement. Bonhwa was snuggled up on the couch between Wooyoung and Yeosang when he left his room and Seonghwa’s heart squeezed at the small boy snoring softly. Yeosang looked him up and down quizzically, but doing nothing more than smiling slightly. San whistled lowly before he spoke. “Damn, hyung. This guy is very lucky.” Seonghwa checked his reflection one last time, fiddling with his hair and taking a deep breath. Just as he finished picking over the smallest things of his appearance to make everything perfect, his phone buzzed.

No1likeme

Your carriage awaits

Seonghwa grabbed his small bag and looked out the window to see a deep red corvette idling in the parking lot, the man in question stepping out, his heart thumping in anticipation. 

“No, seriously, where the hell did you find this guy?” San said, looking out the window as well.  Hongjoong looked incredibly handsome, even from afar, dressed in a tailored dark suit that perfectly accentuated his frame. His hair was styled impeccably, not a strand out of place. Seonghwa said goodbye quietly, looking at the three cuddled on the couch before San ushered him out with the promise that everything would be okay. 

A warm smile spread across Hongjong's lips as he met Seonghwa's gaze as the elder came down the stairs.

"Hello, Seonghwa-ya," Hongjoong said, his voice barely a whisper. "You look incredible. One of a kind."

Seonghwa felt a blush creep up his neck. "You too, Hongjoong-ssi,” he said as he slid into the plush red leather seat. Hongjoong closed the door silently behind him. The interior of the car was even more fancy than he'd imagined, with soft lighting and a subtle, pleasant scent that reminded him faintly of cedar and something citrusy.

"Please, just Hongjoong," he corrected gently, his eyes twinkling as he got into the driver's side. "And thank you for indulging me.”

“It almost felt like you wouldn’t take no for an answer,” Seonghwa said.

Hongjoong hummed softly as he navigated the car out of the parking lot. The familiar, smaller buildings steadily gave way to a different landscape of sleek, towering high-rise buildings, their glass exteriors reflecting the vibrant urban glow.

Seonghwa's stomach did a little flip. He probably should've seen this coming. Hongjoong, being all daring and loving things out of the ordinary, was never going to pick something that wasn’t over the top. Of course he'd drag Seonghwa to a place he would usually be terrified to even glance at, let alone step inside. The idea itself gave him a shiver that was both a little scary and surprisingly exciting.

They pulled up to a tall building that almost touched the clouds. A valet appeared out of nowhere, opening Seonghwa's door smoothly and offering a hand. Seonghwa gave a small nod of thanks. Before he could stand up straight, Hongjoong's hand gently took the valet's place. The warmth instantly calmed him. Hongjoong's grip was strong, confident, and reassuring as he led Seonghwa into the luxurious lobby, like they both belonged there more than anyone else.

Seonghwa, despite the flutter in his chest, stayed quiet, taking in every detail of their surroundings. Hongjoong navigated them through several heavy doors, each one leading to an increasingly exclusive space. Finally, they arrived at a discreet, almost hidden elevator. With a soft chime, the doors slid open, revealing an interior that was both minimalist and breathtakingly elegant. The ascent was swift and seamless, almost dizzying how fast they ascended.

When the elevator door opened, the city lights shimmered like scattered diamonds beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows and it was absolutely breathtaking. Inside, the world was a hushed, velvet dream. The floor was checkerboard of black and white, the seating all dark red armchairs that Seonghwa was sure were more expensive than his monthly paycheck. As soon as they walked in, the hostess came up to them with an enthusiastic smile. “Good afternoon, Hongjoong-ssi. Your table is ready upstairs unless you would like to enjoy the bar for some time?”

Hongjoong merely shook his head, motioning for the hostess to lead them upstairs. Hongjoong didn’t let go of his hand once, and he just had to hope that the claminess of his palms weren’t as bad as he thought they were. 

They were ushered into a private room, an exact replica of the main area with its floor-to-ceiling windows, but instead of chairs, a table was flanked by two velvet booth seats. The room echoed the same subdued lighting and golden embellishments, making Seonghwa feel utterly out of place. He didn't belong in such a luxurious setting, let alone being guided to a side booth and sliding into it.

Hongjoong settled across from him, nodding to the hostess as she left. “There’s no menu, but there will be something you like out of the twelve courses—”

“Twelve?” Seonghwa said, almost spitting out the water he just took a drink of.

The giggle Hongjoong let out was almost melodic and Seonghwa almost short circuited by the sound. “They’re small courses, but the chef decides on what she wants to make for the private rooms. It’s a rather fun experience. I’ve never had the same thing twice here.” 

Seonghwa and Hongjoong fell into a rather easy conversation as the night continued. The wine flowed steadily enough for Seonghwa to have a consistent buzz, but not enough to do anything insane. Hongjoong looked so incredibly good. The way his smile glittered as he listened to Seonghwa talk about his mundane work, how he talked about his upcoming streetwear collection, and how delicate he held his chopsticks, almost like if he held the sushi with force, it would disintegrate. Seonghwa had always loved watching him, but seeing the gentleness in person was a different story.

As their last course came, Seonghwa couldn’t help it as his mouth started watering at the luxurious white chocolate cake with strawberries and drizzled chocolate that was set in front of them. He tried to savor every bite as Hongjoong started speaking again. “So, I do have a proposition for you,” he said, looking rather nervous.

The strawberry dessert soured instantly in his mouth. If Hongjoong so much as suggested sleeping together, Seonghwa would bolt. He didn't care if it meant walking home because the last bus had already stopped running for the night. “What is it?”

“How do you feel about potentially being,” Hongjoong paused, clearing his throat before he continued, “How do you feel about being my sugar baby full time?” Seonghwa must have had a disgusted look on his face because Hongjoong looked panicked as he continued. “Not in the conventional sense, I guess. But like what we have been doing, like what you did with Yesoon. You come to events with me, help me with my creative blocks, and in return I’ll pay for all of your necessities.”

Seonghwa couldn't help but stare at the other man who was squirming in his seat. “I have a lot of day to day responsibilities,” Seonghwa said vaguely. Hongjoong doesn’t know he’s a single parent, doesn’t know that Bonhwa exists in the slightest. If he did, Seonghwa is sure Hongjoong wouldn’t be offering this to him.

“I know, being a teacher must be exhausting, but we’ll work around your schedule. If you can’t make an event, it’s no big deal. The main issue I’ve been having is my creative block,” Hongjoong said, leaning forward slightly. “I have been struggling to make my art. I have thrown away countless sketches, struggling to produce anything. Those five outfits you tried on were three months of work. Three months of never having anything I deemed good enough. But after seeing you in my clothes, I haven’t stopped creating. The piece you’re wearing tonight, I designed it right after you left.”

Seonghwa looked down at himself, the black details being lost in the low light. “You made this with me in mind?”

“I wasn’t lying in my bio. I needed a muse and I found him,” Hongjoong said, his eyes never leaving Seonghwa.

“I’m very busy.”

“We’ll work around it.”

“I can only do every other weekend.”

“Perfect.”

“And you’ll pay for my bills? Even when we only meet twice a month?”

“It’ll be nothing compared to the amount of work I’ll be getting done with you by my side.”

Seonghwa leaned back in his chair, a whirlwind of thoughts and anxieties swirling in his mind. Hongjoong, the Hongjoong, wanted him as his muse. It was almost unbelievable. Not some famous celebrity, not a seasoned, perfectly sculpted model, but Seonghwa. A wave of worry washed over him. What would happen if Hongjoong discovered the truth about Bonhwa? Would it shatter the idealized image Hongjoong seemed to have of him? And what about Minjeong? The fear that she might decide, even for a single weekend, that she couldn't take Bonhwa, meaning Seonghwa wouldn't be able to fulfill his commitment to Hongjoong. The potential for things to go horrifically wrong with this arrangement felt overwhelming.

Yet, despite the potential pitfalls, the offer was enticing. Hongjoong's proposed payment for his rent would not only allow him to catch up on the backpay of his apartment with weeks to spare, but the money Seonghwa would typically save for rent could now be diverted directly to Bonhwa's medical bills. This felt like a lifeline, a glimmer of hope. The offer was simply too good to pass up on.

A deep breath later, a firm resolve settled in his chest. "I'll do it," Seonghwa stated, his voice a little steadier than he felt.

“You’ll do it?” Hongjoong said, completely surprised.

"I'll do it," Seonghwa said again, meeting Hongjoong's gaze directly. "But, I don't want to owe you anything. If I can't make some of our weekend meetings, we should make sure to make up for the missed sessions whenever we're both available." He wanted a clear understanding, a partnership of sorts, not a one-sided dependence.

"I can agree to that," Hongjoong said easily, a faint smile playing on his lips. "I also want to preface this by saying that I find you incredibly attractive, but I need to be absolutely clear with one thing. I'm not looking for any sort of romantic relationship. I don't want you getting attached to me in that way when I won't be able to reciprocate those feelings. I simply need someone to inspire me, someone to ignite that creative spark, and you happen to be that person. I don't and won't have the time for anything in that specific realm."

Seonghwa processed Hongjoong's words, turning them over and over in his head. Initially, a flicker of resentment sparked at the thought of being "used," but then a more realistic realization settled in. Seonghwa was using Hongjoong just as much, if not more, for his own desperate circumstances. They were both entering into this with a clear understanding of what they both wanted. "We are both benefiting from this," Seonghwa stated, his voice calm. "When we're both ready to move on, we can go our separate ways, no strings attached."

Hongjoong's smile broadened considerably, revealing a flash of his perfectly white teeth. He reached a hand across the table, extending it towards Seonghwa. "So it's a deal?" he asked, his eyes gleaming with enthusiasm.

Seonghwa met his gaze. He grasped Hongjoong's hand, feeling the firm grip. "It's a deal." Those words sealed their agreement. The terms were clear and set, and Seonghwa could see the light at the end of the dark tunnel he had been in for months. 

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Over two months went by with this arrangement before everything fell apart for Seonghwa.

Was he being slightly dramatic? Yes, of course he was, but he never wanted this to happen. 

Seonghwa was at Utopia when he got a phone call. He was leaned back in Hongjoong’s office chair, feet up on the table as Hongjoong quickly sketched something on a post-it note beside him, saying he got an idea when he put Seonghwa in a rather normal streetwear fit. Black and white cargo pants cinched tightly at his waist along with a tight crop top with the Utopia logo across the front with intricate beading tickling his exposed skin as he moved. 

Seonghwa noticed that Hongjoong liked putting him in items that accentuated his waist. Crop tops, intricate belly chains, and corsets to name a few. When his phone rang, he immediately knew who it was before looking at the screen. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, Seonghwa—”

“I can't,” he said, immediately cutting her off. 

“What? You didn't even hear—” 

“I don't need to. I'm busy and won't be able to pick him up until later.” 

“Someone got sick and they need a replacement and I don't want to miss this opportunity—” 

Seonghwa looked over to Hongjoong, the man still sketching quickly, but on a brand new post-it. He was trying to keep his answers as vague as possible. Hongjoong didn’t need to know that Seonghwa not only used to be married to one of his current models, but had a son with her as well. 

“I'm working right now. I can't leave.” 

“You have a part time job?” 

“Something like that,” he mumbled. “I can't until later. I'm sorry about your missed opportunity.”

Seonghwa sighed as he hung up the phone, cutting off all other protests from Minjeong. Maybe he should cut this off early. This would be the first day he would miss with Hongjoong. Lately, Minjeong would keep Bonhwa all Saturday and then drop him off at night. Seonghwa had given up trying to make her commit to Friday through Monday. It has seemed to help Bonhwa as well. His expectations of staying with his mom have dwindled and he's unfortunately learned to appreciate the 10 hours he does get with her. 

“Do you need to head out?” Hongjoong asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Seonghwa thought about it for a little longer than he should have, but eventually he shook his head. “No, it’ll be fine.” 

“Good, because I want to try a few more things before we have lunch,” Hongjoong said, clapping his hands together as he stood up. 

“Finally.” Seonghwa groaned, joints popping as he straightened out. “I was starting to waste away, I was so bored.” 

“You had to sit there for twenty minutes.”

“Twenty minutes that felt like a lifetime.”

“You’re such a brat,” Hongjoong said, motioning for Seonghwa to head to the partition.

“You bring out the worst in me,” Seonghwa replied.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa learned that Utopia had several places to eat in the building. A few restaurants that were open to the public, along with a cafeteria that was for staff only. Seonghwa fell in love with an Italian restaurant that overlooked the store on the first floor. They had fantastic food and even better dessert. He always splurged on the strawberry shortcake after working with Hongjoong, giving himself this one treat throughout the weeks. Hongjoong never got any dessert, always sitting back and watching Seonghwa enjoy himself while he rambled about Utopia drama. Seonghwa learned a lot about the inner workings of the fashion industry through Hongjoong and how he wanted to change how conservative it can be. 

“I mean, you built an empire,” Seonghwa said, glancing around where they were currently sitting. “This entire building is massive and you made it what it was.”

“I had a lot of help,” Hongjoong said. “I never wanted to be CEO of a company. I just wanted to design clothes and make people comfortable. It took me a long time to figure out who I could trust. Everyone is so fake, it hurts. But luckily, one of my best friend's grandmother stepped up and helped me. The current CEO is someone I can trust wholeheartedly with the company. I’m lucky to be able to create what I want.”

Seonghwa listened as Hongjoong continued. He was whining about how they got two new board members recently and they don’t get along with Hongjoong in the slightest. They always tried to overturn whatever he pitched, but Hongjoong was smart, still owning over fifty percent of his company, which meant his say would always mean more. Seonghwa liked listening to him ramble. He, of course, would never tell the younger, opting to keep that tidbit to himself. He didn’t want to scare Hongjoong away thinking that Seonghwa may like him more than they agreed on. He doesn’t, of course. Seonghwa looked up to the man, nothing more.

Hongjoong laughed and teased Seonghwa who started to pout when he noticed he only had a few bites left when they both heard a kid yelling across the restaurant. Seonghwa’s head snapped towards the sound, only to see his own son running toward him with a huge smile on his face. Seonghwa didn’t have any time to panic as Bonhwa slammed into his side, the boy holding onto him tightly. 

“Mom said we wouldn’t be seeing you until later! Do you work with Mom now too?”

Seonghwa didn’t think twice as he wrapped his arms around his son and hoisted him up on his lap. “I was having lunch with a friend. What are you doing here?” he asked lightly, the boy eyeing the rest of his cake in front of them.

“Mom said she had to work, so she was taking me with, but I was hungry. She’s at the front ordering food.” 

“And you just ran off?” Seonghwa said, starting to look around for Minjeong. Seconds later, she turned the corner into the restaurant, frantically looking side to side before Seonghwa raised his hand to wave at her. The relief was evident on her face as she briskly walked over.

“Park Bonhwa, I can’t believe you ran off like that. You know better,” Minjeong said, dropping to her knees in front of Seonghwa and the boy. Her hands immediately went to Bonhwa’s face, turning it side to side. 

“Mom, I’m fine,” Bonhwa whined. “I found Dad!”

“You still can’t run off from any of us like that,” Seonghwa said, patting Bonhwa’s head. “What if you wandered too far and we couldn’t find you?”

“But you always find me. Can I have some cake?” Bonhwa asked, mentally checking out of the conversation.

“Apologize to your mom first, then you can have some.”

Bonhwa turned back to Minjeong, “I’m sorry for running away and scaring you. I’ll try not to do it again. I just got excited.”

Minjeong sighed and kissed his forehead before accepting his apology. Bonhwa immediately turned to the table, grabbing Seonghwa’s discarded fork and taking a rather big bite of what was left of the cake. “What are you doing here?” Minjeong asked. 

Seonghwa gestured toward Hongjoong, who was quiet during the entire conversation. He had a curious look in his eyes before schooling his expression when Seonghwa turned his way. Hongjoong stood, bowing slightly toward Minjeong.

“Oh my god, Hongjoong-nim. I’m so sorry I didn’t notice you were here,” Minjeong said quickly, standing up and bowing a full ninety degrees. 

“It’s okay, Minjeong-ssi. You were rather pre-occupied,” Hongjoong said, smiling at Bonhwa. “What are you doing here? I thought this was your weekend off.”

Minjeong awkwardly shuffled back and forth as she responded, “Ah, it is, but Maddox-ssi needed some help today so he asked if someone could fill in. I offered.”

“That’s rather nice of you, but remember to have a good work and home life balance,” Hongjoong said. 

“Yes, of course, sir. Bonhwa, we should go—”

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa said, gesturing for the boy to keep eating. Bonhwa was already here. His cover was already blown with Hongjoong and he didn’t want Bonhwa to have to spend the rest of his day waiting for his mother. “I’ll just take him home after this. I’ll pick up his food from the front.”

“Seonghwa, it’s okay if you can’t—”

Seonghwa looked her in the eyes and there must have been a silent fury in his own because she stopped talking immediately. “I’ll be on my way then.” She kissed Bonhwa on the head as he tried to push her off, but still told her bye and that he loved her before Minjeong disappeared. He tried his hardest to not look at Hongjoong, but curiosity won out. Would Hongjoong be mad? Be upset? Seonghwa held back some vital information about his personal life that could cause issues in their pre-determined relationship. But when he looked up, Hongjoong was smiling so softly at Bonhwa that Seonghwa’s heart skipped a beat. 

“Pretty good cake, huh?” Hongjoong asked once Bonhwa basically licked the plate clean.

“The best! Dad doesn’t let me have something like this often.”

“You get dessert every night,” Seonghwa said, jostling his son with his knee.

“But not like this. We eat just fruit! Can we have cake more often?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Seonghwa said with a huff. Balancing this kid's diet was a job in and of itself. 

“Who are you?” Bonhwa asked towards Hongjoong rather bluntly. Seonghwa opened his mouth to have his son correct his behavior before Hongjoong leaned forward more.

“I’m a good friend of your dads. My name is Hongjoong.”

“Oh like my uncles? They aren’t actually my uncles, but Dad says they helped raise me and family isn’t just blood. I’m Bonhwa.”

“Ah, I’m not like an uncle. I’m a new friend.”

“Will you be my friend too?” Bonhwa asked.

For the first time, Hongjoong looked up to Seonghwa. He could tell that Hongjoong didn’t want to overstep, but Seonghwa nodded his head, happy that Hongjoong even thought to ask in the first place. “We can be friends.”

“Cool, I like having friends.” 

Hongjoong laughed loudly and Bonhwa giggled along. The two talked longer, Hongjoong asking what Bonhwa's hobbies were. When the boy replied with football, Hongjoong looked very excited, saying he played growing up and still loved watching the sport. 

“Can we play together?” Bonhwa asked. “Dad is bad at football and my uncle San can only play with me during gym class.”

Hongjoong looked to Seonghwa again, slight fear in his eyes. Fuck, Seonghwa found this man so endearing, making sure he’s never overstepping, making sure Seonghwa made all the decisions. “If Hongjoong-ssi has time, I don’t see why he couldn’t,” Seonghwa replied softly. “But he’s a very busy man.”

“I’ll make time,” Hongjoong said. “Your dad and I will pick out a day, and I’ll move everything around for you, okay?”

Bonhwa sat up more, “Really? To spend time with me?”

Once again, Seonghwa saw the damage that Minjeong had done to their son. When she was around, she was an excellent mother, but the constant choosing something else over her own son weighed heavily on the boy and times like this made it more apparent. 

“Of course, that’s what friends do for each other.” 

Bonhwa nodded enthusiastically before he leaned his head back against Seonghwa’s chest, looking up and whispering quite loudly. “I like him.”

Seonghwa laughed before kissing his forehead and pushing the boy off his lap. “I do too, but it’s time to let him get back to work. How about we pick up your food from the front and head home?”

“Can I get more cake?” 

“I’ll bring you home some cake in a couple weeks. That’s something you can’t eat too often.” 

“But it was good.” Bonhwa said, grabbing Seonghwa’s outstretched hand.

“Yes, but super sweet things aren’t good for you to have all the time. It’s a treat, and you can have it again when the semester ends. Now say goodbye to Hongjoong-ssi.”

Bonhwa has never really cared about others personal space, especially with growing up around Wooyoung and San, he just naturally became a more touchy person as he settled into his own personality. So Seonghwa shouldn’t have been surprised when Bonhwa’s hand slipped out of his grasp and he went over and hugged Hongjoong. The man’s eyes widened as he placed a hand on Bonhwa’s head, ruffling the curls a little. “Bye Bonhwa,” Hongjoong said, his gaze soft as Bonhwa let go.

“Bye!” 

As Seonghwa turned to leave, Hongjoong grabbed his other hand, sending a jolt through Seonghwa's body. Though he'd never admit it, Seonghwa liked Hongjoong's touches, especially those without the intention of altering the clothes on his body. Hongjoong often touched him, fiddling with fabric, adorning him with jewelry. But sometimes a gentle squeeze of his waist after lacing a corset, a guiding hand to a mirror, or a tender tuck of hair behind his ear would send his heart racing. 

“Let me call you a car,” Hongjoong offered.

“We talked about—,” Seonghwa began.

“I know we talked about you always taking the bus,” Hongjoong interrupted gently. “But let me get you home faster so he can eat. It’s getting late for lunch. Please, let me. It can be here in two minutes.”

Seonghwa glanced at Bonhwa, who was still holding his hand but stretching forward to look down at the shopping center below. Getting home quickly would be nice, especially compared to the forty-five minute bus ride it usually took from his apartment to Utopia.

“You really don’t have to,” Seonghwa insisted.

A tender smile broke out on Hongjoong’s face, and he squeezed Seonghwa’s hand. “I want to, please?”

Seonghwa finally agreed. As soon as they stepped out of the building, the car pulled up. The driver got out and opened the back door for them. “Cool!” Bonhwa exclaimed, practically launching himself into the car. 

“Thank you,” Seonghwa said again. Hongjoong nodded to the driver, who bowed and went back to the driver's side. 

“I would do this all the time if you would let me. What kind of sugar daddy lets his baby ride the bus?”

“One who has a baby that is doing this not for luxury.”

“But you could have both,” Hongjoong said.

“And owe you even more?” Seonghwa asked. 

“If anything,” Hongjoong said, moving impossibly closer, hand lifting to settle on one of Seonghwa’s hips gripping tightly. “I owe you everything.” 

“Hongjoong—”

“You should get going. Text me when you get there,” Hongjoong said, taking a step back and gesturing for Seonghwa to get in. When he got comfortable, Hongjoong shut the door and the driver immediately left. 

“I like him,” Bonhwa said. “I wanna play football with him. Can I?”

“We’ll have to see,” Seonghwa replied. “He’s pretty busy.”

“Like Mom? Is he a model too?”

“He makes the clothes that Mom wears.”

“Do you think he would make me clothes?” 

Seonghwa wanted to sigh, tired of the relentless questions his son had for him. “Ask him next time.”

Bonhwa nodded enthusiastically, his onslaught of questions ceased as he leaned forward, now asking the driver a ton of questions. Where was he from? What’s his name? Does he like driving?

Seonghwa slowly tuned out his son and the low voice of the older gentleman driving them. Seonghwa was so confused when it came to Hongjoong. Their arrangement that they had was to benefit both of them. Seonghwa showed up, tried on clothes, and got paid. There was no reason for Hongjoong to go out of his way to take him to lunch, or to make sure he got home safely. Or to say that he would hang out with Seonghwa’s son. That didn’t benefit Hongjoong. Seonghwa having a kid actually hurt Hongjoong more than anything. It’s weird that the other man isn’t upset that Seonghwa hid something this big from him. He hated how nice and understanding Hongjoong was. He hated how the other man cared about crossing boundaries with Bonhwa. He hated how his heart skipped a beat when Hongjoong smiled at him, when Hongjoong’s name popped up on his phone, when Hongjoong teased him until they were both giggling messes.

He hated Kim Hongjoong. He had to. 

Or the feeling inside his heart would get out. 

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa definitely distanced himself from Hongjoong after he met Bonhwa. One thing Seonghwa tried to avoid was for Bonhwa to get attached to someone who was temporary in his life. The kid already had enough issues with his mother, he didn’t need someone else added on top of that. 

So Seonghwa does his bi-monthly meetings with Hongjoong, makes some excuse to not have lunch, and leaves before Hongjoong can even argue. That’s their new routine. Whether Hongjoong liked it or not. And the man definitely didn’t. 

No1likeme

Seonghwa

Starhwa

Hongjoong

No1likeme

We’re meeting tomorrow 

Starhwa

Yes, that’s how our meetings have gone for the past few months now

No1likeme

Go on a date with me tomorrow

And don’t say you have something planned

 I’ll work around anything

Starhwa

Desperation doesn’t suit you

No1likeme

Being ignored doesn’t suit me

Starhwa

I’m not ignoring you

Don't be dramatic

You act like Bonhwa when I tell him no

The next sound from his phone wasn’t a text notification, but a videocall. Seonghwa couldn’t help but groan because he definitely wasn’t presentable right now. He was sitting on his floor in the living room with work from his classes spread out in front of him on the coffee table. He hasn’t showered yet and he knew his hair was an absolute disaster by how many times he has run his hand through it today. But denying Kim Hongjoong? Seonghwa is unfortunately a weak man. 

When he accepted the call, Hongjoong’s pouty face filled the screen. His hair was damp, and skin was glowing. He was leaned against what looked to be burnt orange pillows with a black hoodie on. He moved, making the fabric slide down, a glimpse of collarbone flashed and Seonghwa immediately thought how biteable it looked. The train of thought quickly dissipated as Hongjoong started speaking.

“I don’t like being ignored, Seonghwa-ssi,” Hongjoong whined.

“Like I said, I’m not ignoring you.”

Hongjoong sat up quickly, the pillows behind him disappearing to show a short headboard and a flash of large windows behind him. “Yes, you are. I’ve been wracking my brain on what I did to make you not want to hang out with me. Have I made you uncomfortable? Was it because I know about your son? We can pretend I know nothing. I won’t mention him again—.”

Seonghwa listened while the man rambled, as Hongjoong waved the hand that wasn’t holding his phone around while he talked. Desperation was laced in his voice and it made Seonghwa’s heart hurt. He knew that Hongjoong was annoyed that Seonghwa wasn’t putting more effort into their meetings as of late, but he thought it was because Hongjoong was paying for a service, and it wasn’t getting fulfilled to its full potential. 

“Do you need more help? You know money is no issue, if you need more, let me know—”

“No,” Seonghwa said quickly, stopping the younger man immediately. “You do enough for me already. I’m sorry I’m not holding up my side of the deal. I’ll do better starting tomorrow.”

Hongjoong softened visibly, his eyes losing the spark from before. “Seonghwa-ya, this has nothing to do with that. You’re holding up your side of the deal beautifully. I just,” he paused, his eyes looking at the screen, at Seonghwa staring back. “I just want to make sure I didn’t make you uncomfortable. That’s the last thing I want to do. If you don’t want to do this anymore, that’s okay. You’re a private man and I learned a lot of information about you in a matter of minutes when it was out of your control. I’m sorry.”

Seonghwa is taken back by Hongjoong’s apology. The man was worried he overstepped? That he made Seonghwa uncomfortable? When in reality, Seonghwa was just scared that Hongjoong would drop him to the curb if he found out he was a divorced single parent. Someone with as much baggage as him should have never signed up to be a sugar baby to begin with. He wasn’t a picture perfect man who was young and working to better himself. Seonghwa was almost thirty, with a full time job that barely kept him afloat and a child who would be turning seven soon. How would he be desirable to anyone?

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Hongjoong. I just… I got scared,” Seonghwa admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. He saw Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “I was scared you wouldn’t want this arrangement anymore. Because I have a kid. Because my ex-wife is one of your models. My life is messy and I didn’t want you to see that. That’s not how sugar babies should be. I’m already older than you, when it should be the other way around. When you found out more aspects of how undone my life is, I panicked.”

A small, sad smile graced Hongjoong's lips. “Seonghwa-ya,” he said, so much care seeped out of his words. “I don’t care about any of that. Everyone’s life is messy. That’s life. We can’t control it. I’ve never done things conventionally anyway. That’s what Utopia is all about, isn’t it? Finding your utopia in life, no matter the means. I like you. I wouldn’t spend time with you if I didn’t.”

Seonghwa’s breath hitched. “You like me?”

“We’ve talked about this before, have we not? Why else would I pay your rent and basically beg you to spend time with me?” Hongjoong chuckled, the sound warmed Seonghwa’s chest. “I meant what I said about not wanting a romantic relationship, but that doesn’t mean I don’t value your company. I enjoy talking to you. I enjoy seeing you. If I could, I would see you every weekend.”

Seonghwa felt a blush creep up his neck. When did Hongjoong become so open with his words? The man was just as closed off with Seonghwa as Seonghwa was with him, only letting snippets of his real life shine through with Seonghwa. Or maybe, that was Hongjoong matching Seonghwa. Keeping information close to his chest to not overwhelm Seonghwa or make him uncomfortable. 

“You only say that because you like having someone to annoy while you work,” Seonghwa said, clearing his throat to try to hide how breathless he became. 

“I like someone that motivates me to work around. So no more running away from me, okay?” Hongjoong asked, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. 

“We’ll see,” Seonghwa said with a large smile. 

“So, date tomorrow?”

“I can still only meet in the morning,” Seonghwa said, “so we can—”

“That’s not what I asked. Will you go on a date with me tomorrow? We can go in the morning. There’s this beautiful brunch restaurant near Utopia that overlooks the botanical gardens.”

“Okay,” Seonghwa said, smiling at Hongjoong. “I would love to.”

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa got up earlier than usual the next day. When Seonghwa said he would be taking Bonhwa over to Minjeong’s early in the morning, Hongjoong offered to drive him, since Wooyoung would be using his car all day. He tried to deny the man saying that he and Bonhwa were used to public transport, using it often. But Hongjoong argued until Seonghwa agreed. “It’s a good resource but I’m offering. It’s not an inconvenience. I would like to take you and Bonhwa.”

So that’s why Seonghwa took almost two hours getting ready this morning. His room was a disaster of clothes, trying on outfit after outfit before he settled on straight black slacks, with a knit shirt with clasps on the shoulders that he could unclasp a few to show more skin. He kept his hair straight but fluffy, and his makeup light, so he decided to take the attention away a little with large glasses. He liked the look of glasses, having multiple pairs that were non prescription. 

By the time Bonhwa waddled out of his room, eyes barely opened, hair in every direction, Seonghwa was ready and had breakfast on the table. “Hi, baby,” Seonghwa said, opening his arms as Bonhwa sleepily embraced his dad. Bonhwa sighed contently before pulling away and shuffling to his seat. 

“Are you excited to go to Moms?” Seonghwa asked.

Bonhwa nodded, as he started eating, the boy slowly waking up and getting more energetic as the morning went on. While the boy was getting dressed, he came out of his room holding up an outfit. “Is this okay to wear to Lotte World?”

Seonghwa is surprised by his son's words, mainly because Minjeong isn’t known to really take Bonhwa anywhere during her weekend. They usually stayed around the neighborhood if they went out, like to the movies or a restaurant. “That’s perfect for Lotte World. Bring a coat, it’ll be cold on the rides.” 

Bonhwa was basically vibrating when Hongjoong messaged that he was downstairs. “Alright, kiddo. Let’s go.”

“Is Uncle Woo here?” 

Seonghwa ushered him outside, watching as Bonhwa looked over the railing, glancing at the cars below. Hongjoong was waiting by an idling car, completely different from the one he picked Seonghwa up in on their first date. The white sedan was sleek and somehow looked perfect behind Hongjoong.

“Hongjoong-ssi!” Bonhwa yelled, waving his hand in a full wave. The sound cut through the gentle morning hum.

Hongjoong, startled, looked up with wide eyes before a large, genuine smile graced his face. He waved back, and Bonhwa was a whirlwind as he started running down the stairs.

“Bonhwa, slow down!” Seonghwa yelled after his son, a mixture of exasperation and affection in his voice. Bonhwa did slow down a fraction, but not as much as Seonghwa would have liked. His pace was still a slight jog, barely registering the warning. When Seonghwa reached the bottom, Bonhwa was basically jumping around the other man, who was still smiling, watching the kid with amusement. Bonhwa was always someone who never met a stranger, immediately finding something in common with everyone. 

“Good morning,” Seonghwa said, a soft warmth in his tone, as he finally reached the other two. He offered a small, polite bow of his head to Hongjoong.

“Hello, Seonghwa-ssi,” Hongjoong replied, his smile unwavering. As he spoke, Seonghwa gently pulled his son over to himself, setting his hand on Bonhwa’s head in a subtle attempt to try to stop him from bouncing around quite so much. “You look lovely,” Hongjoong added, his eyes holding Seonghwa’s own.

“So do you,” Seonghwa said, a faint blush dusting his cheeks despite trying to stay composed. He quickly took in the man in front of him. Hongjoong’s hair was messily styled, giving him an artfully disheveled look, and he wore a sleek black blazer slung over a loose black shirt tucked into ripped jeans. The man somehow always looked expensive, even in everyday wear. 

“Shall we get going?” Hongjoong asked, holding the back door open so Bonhwa could climb in. In the back, there was a booster seat installed. Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong who looked nervous. “My brother has two kids and the oldest is seven. So I figured that Bonhwa would need a booster as well. I hope I didn’t overstep—”

“No,” Seonghwa breathed. “No, this is… This is perfect. Thank you.” When their eyes met, Seonghwa couldn’t control how his started to water. 

“Oh god,” Hongjoong said, closing the door that separated the two. Hongjoong grabbed Seonghwa’s waist, pulling him closer. “Why are you crying? Don’t cry, this is supposed to be a date. How do I explain to anyone that I made my date cry?”

Seonghwa laughed, looking up, trying to stop any more tears from escaping. “It was just surprising. I wasn’t expecting you to do this.”

“Well, you know what they say about surprises,” Hongjoong said softly, tightening his hold on Seonghwa’s waist. “They’re only fun when they’re good ones and I wanted to make sure Bonhwa was comfortable and safe. Please stop crying. Your mascara is smearing everywhere—”

Seonghwa pushed him away lightly, but couldn’t stop the small smile that appeared on his face. “Shut up,” he said, sliding his fingers to clean up his eyes as much as possible. “Let’s go. Bonhwa is not a patient boy.”

Hongjoong chuckled, opening the passenger door for Seonghwa. “My muse.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes, but after Seonghwa put in the address to Minjeong's building, a comfortable silence fell between them as Hongjoong drove. Bonhwa’s excited chatter about what all he wanted to ride at Lotte World filled the space. By the time they pulled in, Bonhwa was practically bouncing out of his seat. 

“Let’s go, let’s go!” Bonhwa said as Seonghwa opened the door.

“Say thank you to Hongjoong-ssi for driving.”

“Thanks!” Bonhwa yelled as he ran to the door of the building, waving at the doorman excitedly.

“I’ll be right back,” Seonghwa said, not waiting for Hongjoong to get out of the car. “Bonhwa, you can’t run like that. It’s not safe.” 

The entire way up to Minjeong’s apartment, Bonhwa was bouncing off the walls, and Seonghwa was becoming more and more nervous. Because the sooner he dropped his son off, the sooner he would be by himself with Hongjoong. Even though this was by far the first time they’ve been alone together, this time feels different. Heavier. Like there’s more that neither of them are saying. When he gets back to the car, Hongjoong is waiting patiently by the passenger side. 

“Go well?” 

Seonghwa smiled, “The easiest drop off I’ve had with her. It was weird.” 

Hongjoong replied with a gentle smile, his eyes sparkling with something as he opened the passenger door. Seonghwa was about to sit down before he paused abruptly, his brow furrowed as he noticed a new addition to his seat. A truly enormous bouquet of flowers lay in his way. This wasn’t a normal bouquet, it practically consumed the entire space. It overflowed with vibrant colors, bright oranges intertwined with soft baby blues and sunny yellows, each bloom perfectly arranged and on display, filling the car with the delicate floral fragrance. 

“Hongjoong-ah,” Seonghwa said, bending down to pick up the miniature flower field. “Where did you even hide this?”

“The trunk. Do you think I went overboard?” Hongjoong asked.

Seonghwa snorted, “Yes, I think you did.”

“Perfect,” Hongjoong said, “that means you’ll remember it.”

“This is crazy—”

“It fits today's theme of a beautiful date among flowers. I just thought I would start the flower part sooner.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes again, but couldn’t stop the smile that had been spreading across his face the entire time, or the way his heart leaped in his chest. “You’re ridiculous,” he said, burying his face in the blooms, inhaling deeply. They truly smelled wonderful, sweet and earthy mixing together. “But thank you. They’re beautiful.”

Hongjoong leaned against the car watching him, a soft almost vulnerable expression on his face before he shook his head and gestured for Seonghwa to get in the car. Hongjoong took the flowers back, putting them in the backseat this time, the aroma filling the car now that both doors were shut.

The engine of the car and the soft melody of music filled their comfortable silence, the drive to the brunch spot a stark contrast from their earlier drive with Bonhwa in the back. Seonghwa found himself stealing glances at Hongjoong, the man looking perfectly at ease, humming along to whatever song played.

The restaurant was exactly what Hongjoong said it would be. A restaurant on the second floor in the botanical gardens with the entire building made out of windows and a view of lush greenery and colorful blooms. Even though it was early November, the temperature controlled building made the entire place feel like spring. The air was filled with soft clinking of cutlery and the murmur of soft conversations around them. Seonghwa found himself enjoying the time with Hongjoong, upset at himself for keeping a distance from the man for multiple weeks. But this is the exact reason why he needed to stay away. He felt too much with Hongjoong and learning the man’s little quirks on a day to day basis is something he needed to stay away from. 

As they finished their meal, Hongjoong leaned back in his chair, a contented sigh escaping him. “This was really nice,” he said, his eyes scanning Seonghwa’s face. “I missed this.”

Seonghwa felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He had missed hanging out with Hongjoong too, more than he would like to admit. They clicked so easily, the genuine laughter that Hongjoong always pulled out of Seonghwa, the way Hongjoong looked at him as if he held all of the answers.

“Me too,” Seonghwa admitted, his voice barely a whisper. He fidgeted with his hands, picking at the cuticles on his fingers.

Hongjoong reached across the table, taking Seonghwa’s hand in his own, rubbing the spot where Seonghwa was just picking at his skin. “So, there was a reason why I asked you on a date.”

Seonghwa took a deep breath. “There’s always a motive with dates with you, I’ve noticed.”

“I was thinking we could take a trip together.”

“A trip?” Seonghwa was confused. Trips were never part of their agreement. “Where?”

“Paris,” Hongjoong said simply. “The city of fashion.”

Seonghwa stared at him, speechless. Paris. The thought of leaving the country was exhilarating. And terrifying. “Hongjoong, you know I can’t just leave.”

“It’ll be in February. A couple months away, still. It’s Paris Fashion Week for the Men’s Winter line. Only male models will be walking for Utopia. We’re abiding by fashion norms with gender, but the clothes, which you’ve already started to see, are anything but.”

“That’s exciting, Hongjoong. But Bonhwa—”

“Can stay with his mother, who will be staying in Korea until the Women's line later in March. I need my muse with me,” Hongjoong said, holding Seonghwa’s hand tighter. “You’re like a good luck charm for me. I want you there.”

Paris is a place that Seonghwa had always dreamed of going to. The beautiful architecture, the fashion, the love that seemed to flood the streets. But leaving his life here, even for a few days, seemed impossible. February, they would be out for Winter break. He would have to have Bonhwa constantly, no breaks from his son unless Minjeong did take him for more than a day. How was he supposed to trust Minjeong to keep their son for days? Seonghwa would probably be gone for most of a week if he went with Hongjoong. Since Wooyoung and San are also on break, maybe he could ask them too, so Seonghwa could be home more. But could he really ask that of his friends? 

“Pick yourself, Seonghwa-ya. You deserve to be treated and spoiled. You’ve worked so hard,” Hongjoong said softly. 

“I’ll have to talk with Minjeong and Wooyoung.” Seonghwa took a deep breath and said something he thought he never would. “But, okay. Paris it is.” 

Hongjoong’s smile widened, a triumphant gleam in his eyes, like he won a prize. “Perfect. I’ll handle all the details. I’ll give you the flight information when I book everything.”

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

The drive home was interrupted by Seonghwa’s phone ringing. He felt instant worry, his ringtone on a Saturday that Bonhwa was away, was never a good sign. “Don’t answer it,” Hongjoong said.

Seonghwa took a shaky breath, “What if it’s an emergency. What if he got hurt?”

“Seonghwa, we both know what it will be. You get this call every Saturday when you don’t have him. You deserve a day to yourself.”

He knew Hongjoong was right, but there was too many possibilities. Too many things could be wrong and thinking about all of those make Seonghwa start to panic. “I have to know,” he said before answering. “Hello?”

“Hey, I’m sorry, but something came up and I can’t take Bonhwa to Lotte World. Are you home?”

“Are you joking right now?” Seonghwa said, the anger seeped through his entire body, every part of him was shaking. “He has been looking forward to this all day—”

Minjeong interrupted him easily, “I know. I could take him to work with me again—”

“You should be taking him to Lotte World!” He replied loudly. “This is ridiculous, Minjeong.”

In the next second, Hongjoong held out his hand to Seonghwa. When Seonghwa met his eyes briefly, Hongjoong nodded at the phone. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.”

Hongjoong shook his head, but kept his hand out. “I’m not. Let me see the phone.”

Seonghwa gave in, handing the phone over with frustration. “Minjeong-ssi, you and Bonhwa need to be in front of your building in ten minutes. No exceptions,” Hongjoong said, his voice hard and level before he hung up and gave the phone back. “I’m sorry. Actually, no I’m not. I’m tired of hearing you argue with her.”

Seonghwa let his head fall back against the seat, a tired ache settling in his heart. “I’m tired too, and I’ve been dealing with it for over six years.”

“How do you feel about our date continuing?”

Seonghwa used minimal effort to look over at Hongjoong. “Did you somehow get hit in the head in the last three seconds? I can’t—”

Hongjoong laughed loudly, his grip on the steering wheel tightened as he tried to focus on the road. “Let’s take Bonhwa to Lotte.”

“What?”

“Let’s go. It’ll be fun. We can take him on all the rides he wants to, eat a ton of food, pick out some of those cute headbands,”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes, but a smile started creeping up on his lips. “And rent the school uniforms too?”

“Seonghwa-ssi, we’re too old for that.”

“Oh, so that we’re too old for but the head bands we have to wear?”

“Of course,” Hongjoong stated. “It’s a must.”

Seonghwa sobered up a little, calculating the cost of everything in his head. Even with Hongjoong paying for his rent, Seonghwa is still living paycheck to paycheck. Bonhwa is growing and he needed to get him new clothes since most of his heavy winter items no longer fit. He doesn’t have the money for Lotte for one of them, let alone both. 

“I can’t afford it.”

“I don’t think I asked.”

“Excuse me?” Seonghwa said, sitting up and turning towards Hongjoong as much as he could in his seat. “I don’t care if you asked or not. I told you before I don’t like handouts, and that’s exactly what this is. You’re already taking me to Paris, Hongjoong! I’m not going to let you pay for my child. That’s not fair to you.”

“I want you in Paris for me, not for you,” Hongjoong snapped. Seonghwa was a little taken back by how forceful Hongjoong was. He watched as the blond took a deep breath before continuing, softer this time. “It’s not a handout when it’s something I want to do. I want to make sure your day ends well. I want to make sure that you and your son don’t go home disappointed.”

“It’s a big expense. You’re already doing so much,” Seonghwa countered, not backing down. “You pay for the roof over my head, Hongjoong. That’s enough.”

The car jolted slightly to the side from Hongjoong pulling over quickly. He put the car in park and turned to fully face Seonghwa. “Seonghwa,” he said, voice firm. “You are doing me the favors here. You are the one not getting enough out of this relationship. Not me. I have never been so productive, even in my teen years. I don’t think you realize how much I make when I drop a single design, do you? And I’m about to have an entire line out that is inspired by you. You’re invaluable to my work, and Bonhwa is invaluable to you. Let me make both of you happy.”

Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong, caught between his pride and giving in to make his son happy. Hongjoong genuinely wanted to do this. The fact that the man is fighting so hard for this made Seonghwa feel warmth bloom in his chest. And the thought of Bonhwa’s excitement earlier today and the disappointment he must feel now, was a powerful motivator for him. “Okay. Let’s take Bonhwa to Lotte World, but I’m paying for the headbands.”

“Whatever you want, baby,” Hongjoong said, playfully. “As long as I get to pick yours out.”

Baby

Seonghwa felt his entire body heat up at the pet name. Was that supposed to slip out of Hongjoong’s mouth? Seonghwa is his sugar baby. So maybe it wasn’t that weird that Hongjoong let it slip. And maybe it wasn’t that weird to let him continue calling him that.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

The ride to Lotte World was filled with Bonhwa’s non-stop chatter and Hongjoong’s patient, amused responses. Seonghwa watched them, a smile on his face the entire time. This was nice. More than nice. It felt like something he hadn’t realized he was missing.

Lotte World was a whirlwind of flashing lights, rides, and the scent of food and sweets. Bonhwa dragged them from one attraction to another, his giggles echoed through the air. Hongjoong, much to Seonghwa’s surprise, embraced the role of enthusiastic friend. He screamed on rollercoasters, cheered loudly during arcade games, and even posed for silly photos with Bonhwa, both of them sporting ridiculous animal-ear headbands that Hongjoong picked out for all of them.

Seonghwa found himself laughing more freely than he had in years. Watching Hongjoong interact with Bonhwa, seeing the genuine affection and joy in the man’s eyes, chipped away at the carefully constructed walls around his heart. He saw a side of Hongjoong he hadn’t known existed. At one point Seonghwa requested churros and Hongjoong obliged immediately, and they shared a giant cotton candy with Bonhwa, all of them ending up with sticky fingers and bright smiles.

As the sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the amusement park, Bonhwa finally started to slow down. They found themselves on the Ferris wheel, looking out over the twinkling lights of the park below. Bonhwa somehow had fallen asleep in Seonghwa’s lap in a matter of minutes, his breathing soft and even.

"He had a good time," Hongjoong said, his voice quiet, as he looked at the sleeping boy.

"He did," Seonghwa agreed, his voice thick with emotion. "Thank you, Hongjoong-ah. For everything."

Hongjoong turned to him, his eyes soft in the dim light of the Ferris wheel car. "It was my pleasure, Seonghwa-ya." He reached out, gently brushing a stray strand of hair from Seonghwa’s forehead, his touch sending a jolt through Seonghwa’s entire body. "You both deserve this."

In that moment, suspended high above the city, with his son sleeping soundly and Hongjoong looking at him with such genuine care, Seonghwa repeated his new mantra over and over again. 

He hated Kim Hongjoong

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

The autumn months turned into winter quickly. Seonghwa caught up on his rent, started working more on Bonhwa’s hospital bills, and never swiped right on anyone else on Sugar Love. He only had one conversation on the app, all the others deleted. Seonghwa knew that he should just share his actual number with Hongjoong, stopping the middle man that was the app. They still used it to talk, call, transfer funds, and check in when they met in person. Even when it wasn't their typical every other Saturday, Hongjoong pulled out his phone and made the appointment, checking in and making Seonghwa do the same. 

Seonghwa knows that Hongjoong was doing this so Seonghwa felt safe, but he lets the man around his son for fucks sake. Going through Sugar Love is something they didn’t really need to do anymore. 

No1likeme 

Seonghwa-ya~

Starhwa

I’m in class

No1likeme

And I’m in a meeting

I’m so bored

Starhwa

Shouldn’t you be paying attention?

 No1likeme

If I wanted a lecture I would've texted my mom

Starhwa

Good thing I’m a parent. I’m great at lectures 

No1likeme

I would rather listen to you ramble all day about the new slang the kids are saying than listen to whatever this old fucker is saying

Starhwa

Hongjoong-ah

They invest in you

Show some respect

No1likeme

I would rather invest in you

Starhwa

Is that not what you’ve been doing this entire time?

No1likeme

You make it impossible to flirt with you

Seonghwa couldn’t help the scoff that came out of his mouth. He looked up quickly to see all of his kids still working, none of them paying any mind to him as he went back to his conversation

Starhwa

Oh, so that’s what this is

Flirting

Got it

No1likeme

Insufferable

Starhwa

I’m so sorry ):

How should I make it up to you

No1likeme

Dinner tonight? 

What’s Bonhwa’s favorite restaurant?

Starhwa

You want to go out to dinner with us?

No1likeme

Of course. Why wouldn’t I? Both of you deserve a treat after a grueling semester

Starhwa

He has practice with San until 6:30

No1likeme

Perfect. I can pick you guys up at that time

What’s his favorite? 

Starhwa

He likes meat

The more meat the better

No1likeme

I’ll be there to get you guys at 6:30

Starhwa

Dessert after?

No1likeme

We can go to that one cafe that you’ve been wanting to try

Starhwa

YES

But I’m paying

No1likeme

Whatever you want, baby.

Just don’t be upset when I don’t let you

Starhwa

I hate you

No1likeme

I know~

Seonghwa rolled his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips as he read the last message. He was excited for tonight. The impromptu meetings were something that started randomly happening. Ever since Lotte World, Hongjoong had randomly shown up for Seonghwa and Bonhwa. Last week it was raining and Seonghwa didn’t bring his or Bonhwa’s umbrella before rushing out of the apartment one morning. Seonghwa complained about having to do after school pickup without an umbrella, and how he was going to order a taxi so he wouldn’t be walking Bonhwa home in the relentless downpour, but as he was zipping up his jacket and telling the kids to be careful as they walked out, Hongjoong was waiting right outside the school, an umbrella in hand and a smile that brightened the gray sky.

Now it was after school and Seonghwa took his time rearranging his classroom so it was perfect when he came back from Winter break. He packed up the few plants that he didn’t manage to kill to take back to his apartment and when he deemed his room perfect, he locked it and headed to the gym. 

Off season for the football team was basically San just trying to wrangle a bunch of five to thirteen year olds for two hours until parents came by to pick them up. San did have some temporary goals set up on either side of the gym, having the older kids running more complicated drills while the younger were working on more coordination. When he walked in, San was going against a team of four older kids, all trying to get the ball from him as San kicked it between their feet, outmaneuvering them easily. 

He scanned the other side to find Bonhwa laughing with some of the other boys before Seonghwa noticed Yunho sitting on the benches, phone in hand.

“Hey, Yunho. What are you doing here?”

Yunho looked up with a large smile. “My partners nephew is here and he asked if I could wait and take him home since he had an emergency at work.”

“Is everything okay?” 

Yunho waved him off, tapping the spot next to him for Seonghwa to sit down. “He’ll be fine. He just got roped into something with my best friend and his grandmother. Big corporate business talk or whatever. Not my cup of tea.”

Seonghwa laughed as he situated himself next to his friend. He and Yunho had been working together for years, but only recently became more friend than coworker in the past year. Seonghwa started learning more and more about the other man slowly, going out to dinners and sharing more of their day to day lives. Seonghwa knew how being gay as a teacher could be scary, if it got out, or around the wrong people, Yunho could be fired. So it took a long time for him to mention his partner to someone new. But now he mentions his partner without an issue, all the teachers and staff in their school accepting and protective of the man.

“Does your partner ever work with Yeosang?” Seonghwa asked, his eyes watching as San made another goal on the kids.

“Yeah, all the time. Mingi prefers to work with Yeosang and a photographer named Jongho.”

Seonghwa hummed as they settled into a comfortable silence. When time for practice ended, San looked exhausted, spending most of the hour running away from kids who had endless energy. Yunho and Seonghwa parted ways so Yunho could wrangle his nephew and Seonghwa waited by the door for Bonhwa. After Bonhwa was done washing up he ran up to Seonghwa with a huge smile. “Did you see? I made like three goals! That’s really good!”

He opened his mouth to respond when he heard a voice behind him. “You were the best one out there for sure.”

“Hongjoong-ssi!” Bonhwa yelled, bypassing his own father to run towards Hongjoong, who just walked through the entrance behind them. Hongjoong smiled widely when Bonhwa barreled into him, a small puff of air leaving his lungs. 

Seonghwa pouted as he walked over to them. “Not even giving your own dad a hug is criminal, Bonhwa,” Seonghwa said.

“Sorry,” Bonhwa said, giving Seonghwa a half hearted side hug before resuming his attack on Hongjoong. 

“I thought you were going to wait outside?” Seonghwa said after telling Bonhwa to go gather his things so they could leave.

“I thought I could help carry some of your stuff outside. I figured you would have a few things since you won’t be coming back until the new year.”

Seonghwa hated how his heart squeezed and his stomach flipped at the man's words. His brain yelling at the two to get a grip and not let his feelings spiral out of control. As Seonghwa was handing over the plants he wanted to take home, Yunho walked back up to them with a kid in tow. “Hyung, what are you doing here?”

Seonghwa looked between the two, confused. Hongjoong looked at Yunho with a huge smile. “I left the meeting early.”

“You left my poor baby to fend for himself against his grandmother?”

“Of course I did. I had plans and it’s not my fault they decided to hold a meeting,” Hongjoong said with a shrug.

Yunho took in everything in front of him. Bonhwa standing next to Hongjoong and the man holding all of Seonghwa’s plants, and his smile grew in a way that Seonghwa has learned to be on par with when Wooyoung is about to fuck something up. 

“Seonghwa, are you telling me that my best friend is the guy that makes you smile and blush at your phone during lunch?”

Seonghwa immediately felt heat crawl up his neck, there was no way he could hide how red his face got in a matter of seconds. “Yunho, don’t tease the man. He’s your coworker,” Hongjoong said, tsking at the younger man.

“Sorry, hyung. I’ve just been trying to get who he’s been talking to out of him for weeks but I could never crack him, only to find out that it’s you? I can’t believe you hid this from me.”

Hongjoong shook his head, scolding the man again. “We aren’t together, Yunho-ya. We’re friends. Don’t embarrass Seonghwa-ssi like that.”

Yunho continued to look at the two before squinting his eyes. “Something is going on here. I know it.”

Hongjoong rolled his eyes before shuffling the box of plants to one arm so he could start guiding Bonhwa out of the gym. “Goodbye, Yunho. Let’s never see each other ever again.”

“You wouldn’t be able to live without me,” Yunho yelled back as Hongjoong turned away, speaking softly to Bonhwa as Seonghwa bowed and followed after the two.

“You know my teacher?” Bonhwa asked, his bright eyes wide with curiosity as he bounced slightly on the balls of his feet. 

“I do. We grew up together. He's one of my best friends,” Hongjoong replied, a soft smile playing on his lips as he looked fondly at the boy, adjusting the strap of Bonhwa’s small backpack.

“What's a best friend?” Bonhwa tilted his head as he asked.

Hongjoong hummed, a thoughtful sound, as he thought about the question, his gaze drifting to Seonghwa, who was watching them with an amused expression. “A best friend is someone you rely on and want to spend your time with. They're always there for you no matter what, through good times and bad. They’re the person you can tell anything to and know they’ll listen.”

“Oh, so like Dad?” Bonhwa asked, his face lighting up with an even wider smile as he looked at Seonghwa. Seonghwa couldn't help his eyes as they welled up with a sudden, overwhelming rush of emotion. 

“Ah, Bon, a best friend is usually someone who is around your own age. Who you experience new things with, like going to school for the first time or learning to ride a bike,” Seonghwa said, his voice a little thick with unexpressed tenderness. He squatted down in front of Bonhwa, meeting his son’s gaze directly as they stopped next to Hongjoong's car. “Someone you make new memories with, and who understands what it’s like to be a kid just like you.”

“Hongjoong-ssi?” Bonhwa said, turning his attention to Hongjoong, who was carefully placing the box of plants into the trunk of the car. Hongjoong hummed in response, looking at the boy over the open trunk. “Can you have more than one best friend?”

“You can have as many as you like, Bonhwa. There's no rule to best friends,” Hongjoong replied, closing the trunk with a soft click. “Some people have one best friend their whole lives, others have many, some have a few at once. What matters is how much you care about them and how much they care about you.”

“So Dad can be my best friend?” 

Hongjoong placed a gentle hand on Bonhwa's head, ruffling the boy's hair. “Of course he can. If you want him to be. Being a best friend isn't about age, it’s about connection and love.”

Bonhwa smiled brightly at that, a triumphant gleam in his eyes as he looked at Seonghwa. “You're my best friend, Dad! Not allowed to take it back.”

Seonghwa laughed, the sound a little garbled by the feelings rushing through him. It was taking all of his strength not to break down sobbing at how adorable and utterly sweet his son was in this moment. The simple declaration was more precious to Seonghwa than anything else. “Best friends it is, then,” he managed to choke out, pulling Bonhwa into a tight, warm hug. “Now how about we go get barbeque so you can eat all the meat you want?”

Bonhwa cheered with unrestrained joy, the sound echoing in the quiet afternoon. Seonghwa was still choked up as he carefully got Bonhwa situated in his booster seat. As he buckled Bonhwa in and stood to close the door, Hongjoong was there with a more normal-sized bouquet of colorful flowers in his hands, holding the passenger door open. “I decided to downplay the flowers since the kid is here,” Hongjoong said with a wink.

Seonghwa couldn't help as a few tears slipped from his eyes, tracing paths down his cheeks. Hongjoong’s eyes widened with concern, and he immediately stepped forward, gently moving Seonghwa to the side so he was blocking Bonhwa from seeing his dad cry. “How do I keep doing this? What’s wrong, baby?” Hongjoong asked quietly, his voice laced with tenderness, using one hand to carefully wipe away the stray tears.

“He considers me his best friend,” Seonghwa cried softly, the words a whisper. The idea of his son choosing him made him so happy. Maybe Bonhwa doesn’t understand the sentiment yet, but the feeling still had Seonghwa’s emotions in array.

Hongjoong cooed at Seonghwa as he continued to gently wipe the tears away. “Of course he does. You do everything for him. You’re such an amazing dad. You’re doing such a good job. He’s such a good kid, and he sees all the love you pour into him every single day. You truly are his best friend, and so much more.” He pulled Seonghwa closer, still catching the tears as Seonghwa hiccuped, trying to control himself.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“Hey,” Hongjoong said, lifting Seonghwa’s chin up so Seonghwa wasn’t looking at the ground. “You’re allowed to feel this way. You’re not some robot who never shows emotion. You’re a human. Embrace what you’re feeling.”

“I don’t want Bonhwa to think I’m weak or something—”

Seonghwa is cut off by Hongjoong’s hand tightening on his chin. His eyes widen as Hongjoong leans in. “You are not weak for feeling a certain way. You are one of the strongest men I know. Just because you cry does not mean your son will think any less of you. Would you think less of Bonhwa if he cried? If I cried? If Wooyoung cried? Or would you tell them to feel their emotions and let them run their course?”

“It’s different—”

“No, baby,” Hongjoong interrupted again. His eyes cut through Seonghwa like a knife, they were so close that Seonghwa swore he could see flecks of gold in them. The pet name making his stomach flip. “It’s not different. Emotions are emotions. You’re allowed to feel them. You’re allowed to be happy, sad, angry, surprised. Anything. Don’t ever feel like you have to hide yourself from me. Or from Bonhwa. He needs to see that it’s okay to feel these things. That it’s okay to be vulnerable.”

“Thank you,” Seonghwa whispered, almost too quiet for Hongjoong to hear if he wasn’t so close. 

“You’re welcome. Do you need a second before getting in the car? Or should we go get some food?”

Seonghwa laughed, a wet hiccuping sound. His chest felt lighter and heavier all at once as he grabbed the bouquet of flowers from Hongjoong. There’s one emotion that will never see the light of day. One that made his heart hurt when Hongjoong smiled. One that made Seonghwa’s breath get caught in his lungs as Hongjoong looked in his rearview mirror to talk with Bonhwa, and the one that he will keep swallowed down with every endearing pet name thrown his way. 

God, he really hated Kim Hongjoong.

Chapter Text

The world outside was cold and snowy. The chirps of the few birds that stayed for the winter chattered away. The sky was overcast, hinting at even more snow to come their way, softening the ground and blurring the edges of life a little more. The full trees that changed to bright and vivid hues of brown and yellow now stand skeletal and bare, patches of white snow covering the brown bark. Winter was in full swing. 

And Seonghwa was ready to rip his own hair out. 

Winter was always hard for Seonghwa because instead of taking his son to run off his energy outside, he had to figure something out inside. That is how he found himself sitting on his couch with pillows being thrown all over his living room. Wooyoung and Bonhwa took turns trying to hit each other with pillows while being blindfolded, which meant Seonghwa had gotten several pillows to the face already. One final blow was all it took for him to snap. 

“Okay! Okay,” he said loudly. “Why is it that every time you come over, my living room ends up as a complete disaster?” 

Wooyoung snickered as he flopped on the couch next to Seonghwa. “You love me. I’m wearing out your kid.”

They watched as Bonhwa made a pile in the middle of the floor and then jumped onto it several times, giggling the entire time. “More like he’s wearing you out,” Seonghwa said.

“I’m not even tired. I could go for another three hours.”

“You can lie to yourself but not to me. I unfortunately know you too well.”

Wooyoung gasped at Seonghwa, his hand on his chest like Seonghwa just offended his mother. “Stop being dramatic and help me figure out ideas to keep him entertained.”

“Why ask me? You should ask your sugar daddy.”

Seonghwa gave Wooyoung a harsh glare. “Really?”

“What? That’s what he is! He’s taking you to Paris, hyung. That’s a big deal. That’s what sugar daddies do.”

He knew that’s what Hongjoong was and Seonghwa was still surprised with how easily he said yes to him. It just got harder and harder for Seonghwa to say no. All the man had to do was flash a smile and Seonghwa was head over heels stumbling over himself to follow, which was the whole reason why Seonghwa was currently ignoring the texts that spammed his phone a couple times a day for the past week. Now, he wasn’t ignoring Hongjoong completely, but when he asked to take Seonghwa and Bonhwa to an ice skating show, Seonghwa was unfortunately busy. Or going out for dinner and a walk around Han River, Seonghwa was supposed to hang out with Wooyoung. The only day that Seonghwa had seen Hongjoong was on their designated Saturday.

He knew he said no more running, but seeing Hongjoong was bad for his health. His heart started racing and he couldn’t think straight. When Hongjoong giggled with Bonhwa, or skipped down the sidewalk together while walking to a cafe, Seonghwa would feel too much. And feeling too much for a man he tried to hate? He had to distance himself.

But Hongjoong was never okay with being told no.

Seonghwa’s phone rang in his pocket, and when he looked he saw he was getting a call from Yesoon. Seonghwa was a little surprised seeing her name flash across his phone, but it wasn’t an uncommon occurance. They met up a few times a month and would talk about the current fashion trends. Yesoon would usually be baffled at some of the photos or videos Seonghwa would show her on his phone. There were a lot of small creators on social media that deserved recognition, just like how Hongjoong got his start through social media.

“Hello?”

“Ah, so you answer her call, but not mine?”

“Hongjoong-ah,” Seonghwa said surprised, looking at his phone screen again to make sure it was actually Yesoon's number. “What are you doing with Yesoon’s phone?”

“What are you doing ignoring me?”

“I’ve been busy—”

“Seonghwa-ya, you are on vacation until March.”

Seonghwa must have been visibly stressed because Wooyoung grabbed Seonghwa’s wrist to bring the phone closer to him. “Why are you interrogating my hyung?”

There’s silence on the other line until Hongjoong muttered, “Ah, the disrespect.”

Seonghwa took back the phone before Wooyoung could say anything damning and got up to go to his bedroom. He stole one more glance at Bonhwa who was now sitting in the pile of cushions and watching a cartoon. “Was there something you needed?”

“You.” Hongjoong said simply. Seonghwa’s heart sped up and a rush of breath got knocked out of him. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid. “I thought we said no more running away, baby,” Hongjoong added softly.

“I’m not running,” Seonghwa said, trying his hardest to keep his voice even, which was a monumental feat. “I’ve been busy.”

Which, again, wasn’t wrong. Seonghwa had been spending a lot of his vacation getting ready for his trip with Hongjoong. Making sure his apartment was perfectly clean, that Bonhwa would have everything he might need ready to go, and making an itinerary for Minjeong and Wooyoung to follow while he was gone.

“Will you come over?"

Seonghwa was shocked by the invitation. Seonghwa had never been to Hongjoong’s place. He’d only seen glimpses of the man's apartment when Hongjoong would randomly video call. Seonghwa didn’t even know where Hongjoong lived. 

"I can’t, there’s no one to watch Bonhwa after he goes to sleep. It’s Wooyoung and his partner's anniversary and they’re going out. I can’t ask them.”

“Okay, then I’ll come over there.”

“What?”

“I’ll come over to your apartment. I have a few outfits that I want you to try on for Paris and we won’t have another Saturday before we leave.”

Seonghwa panicked as he looked around his room. The idea of Hongjoong in his small apartment that was falling apart was something he didn’t want the other man to see. There was paint peeling in the bathroom and all the appliances had a slight yellow hue to them from the previous resident smoking too much. There was no way that he would be able to have him over.

“No, you can’t come over here.”

“What? Why?"

Seonghwa was panicking. He was panicking a lot as he tried to figure out a reason for why he couldn’t come over. What would he say? My place is a mess? I know you pay for it but you really do not wanna see what that amount of won unfortunately gets me? There was no way. 

“Seonghwa.” Hongjoong said loudly, bringing his attention from his surroundings back to the phone. “Take a deep breath for me, baby.”

He listened, filling his lungs fully with air before he exhaled slowly. “There you go,” Hongjoong murmured. “If it’s an issue, we don’t have to. I have your measurements, I can work on a mannequin to see how it may look.”

“My apartment,” he paused, taking another deep breath. “My apartment isn’t the best.”

“Oh, baby,” Hongjoong said, his voice full of understanding. “I don’t care about what your apartment looks like. It’s your home, and that’s what makes it beautiful.”

Seonghwa felt a blush start to creep up his neck. He really needed to get it together around Hongjoong. But it was hard when the man was so undeniably kind. Seonghwa was so used to expecting the worst from people, it was hard to think that Hongjoong was real. 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. I didn’t always live in a high rise apartment or work in a building like this. I grew up in a studio apartment with my mom. We would sleep on a floor futon at night and roll them up during the day to drag out our sewing supplies. She worked at a clothing factory but somehow always had time to show me new techniques. Some of my favorite memories were in that beat up place. So yes, I’m sure.”

Seonghwa let out a laugh, the tension in his chest relaxing a small amount. “Okay, you can come over after Bonhwa is asleep.”

“Perfect. I’ll be there soon.”

The call ended and Seonghwa slowly walked back to the living room where Bonhwa was still engrossed in his cartoon, the pile of cushions flattened out from his jumping. Wooyoung was surprisingly snoring softly on the couch and Seonghwa couldn’t help but smile softly at the man. He really did give his all with Bonhwa. Even when he was exhausted and had other plans later, Wooyoung gave all his energy in helping Seonghwa, and that was something he would always appreciate. He let the man sleep as he started cleaning around both of them. He picked up the pillows and blankets that were not being used by Bonhwa and put them back in their places, and finished putting away the lunch that Wooyoung made for them before tidying up the kitchen. 

Seonghwa cleaned for another hour before going over to gently wake Wooyoung up, letting him know the time and how he should probably get back home so he could get ready for tonight. 

“Are you excited?” Seonghwa asked as he helped Wooyoung slip on his coat.

Wooyoung had a soft smile on his lips as he responded, “Yeah, yeah I am. I love them so much, hyung. I’m happy I get to spend another year with them both.”

“I’m so proud of you, Young-ah,” Seonghwa said as he pulled his best friend into a hug. “You three have come such a long way.”

“I’ll text you when I get home.” 

Seonghwa hugged him one more time before Bonhwa ran over to say goodbye as well, both of them hugging each other so tightly. After Wooyoung left, Seonghwa let Bonhwa know he needed some quiet time. Whenever either of them needed space, or simply time to think, they would utter the simple phrase, "quiet time," and the other would respectfully grant it, allowing them to get whatever they needed. Seonghwa taught Bonhwa this when he was just a toddler. Of course it took time for him to understand it, but it was now something they both used when they needed it. 

Seonghwa took the time that Bonhwa was in his room to deconstruct the pillow pile and finish cleaning up the living room. There wasn’t much Seonghwa could do about the scratched coffee table (battle scars from countless play sessions), or the mismatched wood tones, but this place was home and he just had to hope Hongjoong wouldn’t think any less of him. He had a feeling that the other man wouldn’t care, especially with the backstory Hongjoong offered earlier. 

Seonghwa knew a lot about Hongjoong's life from his public persona, including things he shared in interviews, but Hongjoong never talked about how he grew up. He often spoke fondly of his mother, crediting her for raising him alone and expressing deep gratitude that he could now provide for her. However, in all those interviews, Hongjoong had never delved into the specifics of his upbringing, nor offered the kind of personal details he had shared with Seonghwa privately. This new insight into Hongjoong’s past was a little more eye opening for Seonghwa. Hongjoong wasn’t this unattainable person. He was a human with experiences and struggles, and Seonghwa admired him even more. 

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

As Seonghwa was cleaning up dinner and Bonhwa was reading a chapter of his book out loud before bed, there was a soft knock at the door. Seonghwa looked at the time and realized it was later than he expected. He and Bonhwa went on a walk around the neighborhood and got distracted by some stray kittens that they found in an alleyway. With the snow and wind, Seonghwa was afraid they wouldn’t survive the winter, so they went back home. Gathering supplies and a makeshift shelter out of a tub that Seonghwa carved a hole out of the side, they went back, coaxing them in with cat food they bought at a store close by. Bonhwa didn’t want to leave them, but Seonghwa promised they would come check on them throughout the week.

So when Seonghwa told Hongjoong to come over at eight-thirty, he was expecting Bonhwa to be in bed and asleep. 

“Can I get it?” Bonhwa asked, hopping out of his chair. 

“Yes, but you need to look to see who it is before you unlock the door,” Seonghwa sighed, no longer caring that Bonhwa was about to get more riled up from seeing Hongjoong.

“Hongjoong-ssi!” Bonhwa said with a gasp as he looked through the peep hole. Bonhwa climbed off the step stool and pushed it to the side quickly before unlocking the door and revealing a rather flustered looking Hongjoong. 

“Hello, Bonhwa. How are you?”

Bonhwa bounced on his heels as he looked at the bag and boxes Hongjoong was balancing perfectly in his arms. Seonghwa came over with a sheepish smile. “Sorry, Hongjoong-ah. We had a few setbacks for bedtime.”

Hongjoong smiled at Seonghwa, handing over a white box wrapped in ribbon before using his now free hand to ruffle Bonhwa’s curly hair. “Are you giving your dad a hard time?”

“No, we found some kittens!” Bonhwa exclaimed, his voice bubbling with uncontained joy, and he dove into the detailed story of how their evening unfolded. Hongjoong listened intently, a soft smile gracing his lips as he followed Bonhwa to the kitchen table. Seonghwa put the box down before he took the garment bags from Hongjoong, carrying them to his bedroom and returning to the hallway. He leaned against the doorframe, a bittersweet ache squeezing his heart as he watched their interaction. Hongjoong’s face was lit up with a genuine and wide, dazzling smile as Bonhwa waved his arms around. Just then, Hongjoong’s gaze drifted upwards, his eyes meeting Seonghwa’s. In the soft glow of the kitchen light, Hongjoong’s eyes glittered brightly, happiness shining within them that mirrored the warmth growing in Seonghwa’s own chest, despite the lingering pang that seemed to never leave his chest when Hongjoong was around. 

“Okay, baby. Say goodnight to Hongjoong-ssi. It’s time for bed.” Bonhwa’s entire mood shifted instantly, the pout evident on his face as Seonghwa helped him down from the seat next to Hongjoong. “It’s way past your bedtime. Come on, I’ll read one more chapter of your book to you.”

“Goodnight, Hongjoong-ssi. Thanks for talking with me.”

“You can talk to me any time you want,” Hongjoong said, the smile never leaving his face. 

“I’ll be back,” Seonghwa said, steering Bonhwa to the bathroom so he could brush his teeth and use the restroom. Seonghwa got his room ready, the nightlight was plugged in and ambient sound playing softly. By the time Bonhwa walked into his room, Seonghwa was sitting on Bonhwa’s small bed, book in hand. He opened his arms for the boy to climb in and when Bonhwa was comfortable, Seonghwa started reading, only getting through half a chapter before the boy was sleeping peacefully. He slipped out from under the boy with practiced ease, making sure the door barely made a sound as it clicked shut. 

When he walked back to the main room, he found Hongjoong sitting on his couch like he was meant to be there. He was relaxed, leaned back with his feet tucked underneath him. The glow from his phone made his face bright as he scrolled, his hair wasn’t styled and fell over his face. When he noticed Seonghwa, he looked up and smiled. “Everything went okay?” 

Seonghwa nodded and sat next to Hongjoong, sighing as he relaxed back. “Yeah, he fell asleep really quickly. I’m just tired.”

Hongjoong looked guilty for a moment before speaking. “I can leave, baby. Like I said before, I can just guess—”

“It’s fine, Hongjoong-ah. Really,” Seonghwa interrupted. “It’s just been a long day. Wooyoung was over for most of it getting his gifts ready for his partners, and he and Bonhwa are a handful.”

Hongjoong hummed, settling back into the couch, closer to Seonghwa than before, their shoulders brushing and a shiver ran down Seonghwa’s spine. “Wooyoung has more than one partner right? I’ve heard you talk about them before. That’s really commendable for them to do something like that and be open about it.”

“They aren’t that open about it, unfortunately. One of them kept losing job after job due to their love life, so they keep it closer to their chests than they used to. Wooyoung is seen more as a close friend in the public to the other two than dating.”

“What do your other two friends do? I could recommend a few positions if they are interested in working for Utopia. I can also recommend a few chefs that are part of the community for Wooyoung once he graduates.”

Seonghwa thought back on the conversation the three had about Yeosang and San being exclusive while Wooyoung sat back, letting San go to events and shows with Yeosang. “I don’t know if they would be comfortable with me telling you about them. One of them already works for you.”

“They don’t need to worry about being fired or treated differently.” 

“I would let them know but they don’t know about our arrangement. Only Wooyoung does. They think I’m just seeing someone who has money.”

Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa with sadness etched into his features, “I did get interrogated more by my three friends. Yunho immediately went to our group chat and ratted me out.” 

Seonghwa couldn’t help but blush. “I’m sorry, that’s probably my fault.”

Hongjoong leaned forward, his easy smile turning devilish in an instant. “You act so cool and collected when we’re together. Do you really blush when I text you?”

Seonghwa tried to lean back, looking at every other corner of his apartment than at the man in his personal space. “Of course not. Yunho was over reacting.”

“Are you sure?” Hongjoong asked, pushing himself more forward, overtaking all of Seonghwa’s vision. He felt fingers wrap around his chin and pull his face down, barely an inch away from Hongjoong’s. “I rather like when you’re flustered because of me.”

“It’s not just because of you. I’m a sugar baby, I talk to others all the time,” Seonghwa said, the lie slipping off of his tongue bitterly.

Hongjoong’s fingers tightened, his eyes squinted. “Why talk with others when I can provide everything you need? Say the word and I’ll give you more.” 

“You give me enough, Hongjoong-ah,” Seonghwa whispered. 

“I can do more,” he said, his eyes flicking down to stare at Seonghwa’s lips. He licked his lips out of habit, Hongjoong’s eyes following the movement. “For every date, every conversation you think you need to go on, tell me instead. Give me your rates. Tell me how much you charge," Hongjoong demanded, his voice low, making Seonghwa shiver. "And I’ll double it. Triple it. Whatever it is, I’ll match it. You won’t need anyone else."

Seonghwa didn’t realize the possessiveness that Hongjoong had until this moment. “Hongjoong,” Seonghwa breathed out, barely a whisper. This was something else entirely. Yes, Hongjoong flirted and even admitted to flirting, but they were never this close, chests almost pressed together, breath fanning over each others faces, eyes flickering to lips. This was dangerous territory for Seonghwa’s heart and he needed to get out of it immediately. “There’s no one else. I don’t talk or go on dates with anyone but you. Not for months.”

Hongjoong’s intense gaze did soften a fraction, a look of relief taking its place. He leaned back slightly, his eyes still on Seonghwa’s lips as Seonghwa took a deep breath like he hadn't been breathing for the past five minutes. Hongjoong squeezed Seonghwa’s chin once more, pulling Seonghwa’s attention to the man's dark eyes. “Delete the app.”

“But—”

“No, baby. Delete the app. I’ll give you my phone number and you’ll give me your account number. We don’t need to go through Sugar Love.”

Seonghwa’s heart was pounding frantically against his ribs. “You’re really,” he paused, “intense sometimes.”

Hongjoong actually giggled as he pulled away, his fingers lingering a little longer on Seonghwa’s chin before they dropped to his lap. “Go try on the first outfit please. It’s the blue garment bag. That one and then the black one next.”

Seonghwa nodded, still a little breathless from their earlier interaction. He stood up, feeling Hongjoong’s eyes follow him as he walked towards his bedroom. He grabbed the blue garment bag, the material feeling surprisingly light in his hands. Inside was a sleek, dark blue suit jacket and matching trousers. It was a classic cut, but the fabric had a subtle sheen that caught the light beautifully. He quickly changed, feeling the soft lining against his skin. The suit fit him perfectly, as always. He adjusted the lapels and walked back out to the living room, feeling a surge of confidence he hadn’t expected.

Hongjoong was still on the couch, but he had put his phone down and was now watching Seonghwa with an unreadable expression. As Seonghwa stepped into the light, Hongjoong's eyes widened and a slow smile spread across his face.

"Wow." Hongjoong breathed, pushing himself off the couch and walking towards Seonghwa. He circled him slowly, his gaze taking in every detail. "It looks even better on you than I imagined." He reached out, his fingers gently tracing the seam of Seonghwa's jacket. "The color is perfect for your skin tone. And the fit, well, I really outdid myself with this one."

Seonghwa felt a blush creep up his neck again. "You really think so?"

He paused, his hand still on Seonghwa's arm. "You're truly beautiful, Seonghwa-ya."

Seonghwa's heart fluttered. He looked down, unable to meet Hongjoong's intense gaze. "Thank you."

Hongjoong chuckled softly. "Now, let's see the next one. The black one, please."

Seonghwa nodded, grateful for the change of subject. He went back to the bedroom, his mind still reeling from Hongjoong's words. He pulled out the black garment bag, revealing a more avant-garde outfit. It was a fitted black shirt with intricate embroidery on the collar and cuffs, paired with tailored black trousers and a long, flowing overcoat. This one felt more daring, more Hongjoong. He put it on, loving the feel of the coat. When he walked back into the living room, Hongjoong's reaction was immediate and even more enthusiastic.

Hongjoong gestured for Seonghwa to turn around, examining the coat. "The cut, the details... it's perfect for you. Elegant, sophisticated, but with a touch of your unique charm. I do want to shorten the tail, I don’t want it dragging on the ground."

Seonghwa felt a genuine smile spread across his face. He loved how it made him feel powerful and confident. "I like it too," he admitted.

"Good," Hongjoong said, his eyes still sparkling with admiration. "Because I designed it with you in mind. But, go try on the last one. I think that one will be your favorite.” 

Seonghwa returned to his room. The last garment bag was laying there unopened and inside was something extraordinary. As he slipped on each piece, Seonghwa was astonished by how intricate and beautiful everything was. The clothing was a white, long-sleeved garment with a high, ruffled collar. The back of the garment featured intricate, elaborate detailing. The main body was a creamy white fabric adorned with delicate, ornate lace patterns stitched with care and beads. Down the center of the back, there was an opening secured by a row of evenly spaced, pearl-like buttons. This central strip of buttons was bordered on both sides by a deep purple panel of fabric. The pants matched the top perfectly, the lace patterns flowing down the pant leg with splashes of purple and the pearls added a beautiful shine. Seonghwa felt like something was missing, and if he knew Hongjoong, he was going to step out and see a beautiful corset. 

Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh as he stepped back into the living room, Hongjoong standing there with a corset that matched what he was wearing perfectly. 

“What?” Hongjoong asked, stepping behind Seonghwa, wrapping the fabric around his waist easily, moving the top around until it was in the perfect position the designer wanted. Then Seonghwa felt the man's fingers brush his bare back as he started lacing the ribbon.

“I just knew you would put me in a corset.”

“Are you telling me that I’m becoming predictable?”

Seonghwa sighed as Hongjoong started tightening. “Yes, but I like them.”

Hongjoong did one final tug, tying the ribbon off before sliding his hands to grip Seonghwa’s waist hard. “Then I’ll keep putting you in them.”

Seonghwa felt brave in the outfit. Like he was someone else, like someone from a different life. A prince about to be married off or getting ready for a Victorian era ball.

“You know, I couldn't get you out of my head while I sketched this, while I made this. I couldn't stop thinking about how you would look under the Paris lights, cameras flashing while you stood beside me. You carry yourself with such elegance, I needed something to reflect that.”

“Well?” Seonghwa asked, taking a step back and letting Hongjoong’s hands drop from where he was gripping and did a spin, facing the other man. “Did the design turn out better than you imagined?”

“I don’t want to see anyone else but you wear this.”

“Is this not a runway piece?” Seonghwa asked.

Hongjoong moved forward, fixing a few ruffles near Seonghwa’s neckline before resting his hand on Seonghwa's shoulder. “These are for you.”

“What?”

“These are for you, baby. Each one.”

Seonghwa felt his breath leave his lungs in a rush. “Hongjoong, these are not for me. That’s not what all of this is. Even the first outfit you made me is walking.” 

“I wanted you in something unique while we were in Paris. Something that people will wonder when they could get their hands on it, not realizing until later that they won’t ever be able to.” Hongjoong moved his hand up, cupping Seonghwa’s cheek. He couldn't help leaning into the warm touch with a sigh. “You, Seonghwa, will be wearing the most expensive Utopia by No1LikeMe piece to have ever been made.”

“But the runway. This piece—”

Hongjoong’s thumb stroked his cheek gently. “The runway will have other pieces. Pieces that everyone can wear. But this,” his eyes swept over Seonghwa’s outfit, then back to his face, “this is only for you. Your own personal collection of Utopia.”

Seonghwa’s mind reeled. A personal collection made for him. By Hongjoong. By the man that Seonghwa had admired for the better part of his life. This couldn’t be his life. 

“I hoped for you to come with me and wear this on the day of the show. The other two are for other nights we go out, not Paris just whenever.”

“Hongjoong-ah,” Seonghwa said, choking up. “You don’t know how much this means to me.

“You don’t know how much you inspire me,” Hongjoong sighed.

Seonghwa laughed, wiping some tears from his eyes as he took a step back, needing space from Hongjoong and how his heart clenched. “I think I’m starting to understand.”

Hongjoong joined in on the laughter, both of them giggling until their sides hurt and Seonghwa needed to desperately get out of the corset so he could breathe again. Hongjoong loosened it and when Seonghwa was dressed back in his normal clothes, Hongjoong helped him put everything back in the bags. He was taking the white bag with him, saying he will have it shipped to Paris a few days before they leave. 

“Oh, one more thing before I leave,” Hongjoong said, lifting the bag over his shoulder. “The box on your table? It’s a full strawberry shortcake from the restaurant at Utopia. The one you and Bonhwa both love. Make sure to put it in the fridge before heading to bed, okay?”

Seonghwa just nodded, thanking the man as he smiled and shut the door behind him. He sank down in one of the kitchen chairs, untying the ribbon and opening the box. He looked at the pristine cake, the perfect strawberries shining, a stark contrast to the quiet ache in his chest. Hongjoong’s thoughtfulness, his generosity, the way he saw Seonghwa, it was all too much and not enough at the same time. He took a strawberry off the top and bit into it, the taste sweet and tart and perfect, but it couldn't fill the hollow feeling inside. He was getting everything he thought he wanted, and yet, loneliness settled over him. This life he stumbled on, the beautiful clothing, the trip to Paris. It was all a deal. And despite Hongjoong's words, his touch, his intense gaze, Seonghwa couldn't shake the fear that he was just another design, meticulously crafted and displayed for the world to see.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa had only been on a plane once when his family went on a trip to Jeju Island when he was young. He’d never been out of the country, especially somewhere that was fourteen hours away by plane, but Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s seats were large and comfortable, and private. They were given pajamas to change into and with a press of a button his seat reclined fully back into a bed. This was something Seonghwa had never experienced and it definitely showed on his face when the flight attendant came by with champagne and a food menu for their dinner. Hongjoong thanked him softly as the door shut again, leaving them in their own personal quiet as the plane rumbled in the sky.

“What do you want to do for dinner?” Hongjoong asked, passing the menu to Seonghwa, their fingers brushing lightly. Seonghwa scanned the menu, picking a chicken dish that he’d never heard of, before curling up in his seat. He brought a few books to read on the plane, but if he was being honest, he was exhausted. He barely slept last night, too anxious to even lay down. The idea of leaving the country Bonhwa was in made him panic more than he initially intended. He wouldn’t be able to go up and leave if Bonhwa needed him or if Minjeong needed to work. He was going to be thousands of miles away and that stressed him out the most.

“Get some sleep, Seonghwa-ya,” Hongjoong said, pulling out his laptop from his bag at his feet.

“Are you not sleeping?” Seonghwa asked.

Hongjoong looked over and smiled softly. His hair was messy, no product in sight making it sit perfectly and his face was freshly washed of the makeup he wore to the airport. He wasn’t wearing the pajama set that was given, opting to wear gray sweatpants with a black sweatshirt that was two sizes too big. But when Hongjoong looked at him like that, it made his heart race.

“I have a lot of work to get done before the show. I’m sorry I won’t be able to spend much time with you until afterwards.”

A few days after Seonghwa said yes to this trip, Hongjoong did let him know that he was working for most of it. There was last minute touches needed on the outfits, meetings with models, and networking with other designers and celebrities.

“It’s okay. It’ll be nice to sightsee and take everything in on my own.”

Hongjoong pouted at that. “There’s a lot of places I want to take you.”

“What, like the eiffel tower?”

“Mh,” Hongjoong hummed, settling further in his seat, pulling his legs up and turning a little so he was facing toward Seonghwa. “Notre Dame, maybe? Montmartre? It’s a beautiful neighborhood that I love walking around and just experiencing. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to enjoy it, though.”

“Let’s do that,” Seonghwa said, looking up at the other man. “I want to experience the culture. Yes, I want to see the typical tourist spots, but I just want to walk the streets and enjoy myself.”

Hongjoong reached up, turning their lights down. “I’ll take you wherever you want to go. Now sleep. I’ll wake you up when dinner is served.”

Seonghwa hummed as he fully leaned back, the chair being rather comfortable and the rumble of the engine a nice and subtle vibration as Seonghwa pulled up the soft blanket that Hongjoong brought. The plane offered their own, but Hongjoong handed his over easily, the plush feeling almost enough to make Seonghwa whine at the feeling on his skin. He fell asleep to the sound of Hongjoong typing away on his laptop and the soft music that was playing from his phone.

When Seonghwa woke up later, he didn’t know how much time had passed. Hongjoong was still in the same spot, but his laptop was replaced by his sketch pad and he was curled up more, facing Seonghwa fully as the pencil scratched the paper quietly. This was Seonghwa’s favorite Hongjoong. The one that wasn’t putting on any persona, just working on something he loved. His face was relaxed and not schooled into a face of clever defiance or cocky businessman. Hongjoong glanced down at Seonghwa and startled slightly to see his eyes open and watching him.

“Hi,” Seonghwa whispered, his voice not fully working. “How long was I asleep for?”

Hongjoong hummed, grabbing his phone that was still playing instrumental music softly. “About seven hours.”

“Did dinner already come?”

Hongjoong nodded his head, flipping his notebook closed before leaning forward. “They did, but I asked them to come back later when you were awake.”

Seonghwa’s face scrunched up in worry as he sat up on his elbows. “Why did you do that? You must be hungry.”

Hongjoong reached out, pushing a strand of hair that fell in Seonghwa’s face back behind his ear. His hair was getting longer, some strands going past his chin and the hair at his shoulders starting to curl out at length. “I’m okay, baby. I wanted you to sleep for as long as possible.”

“Hongjoong—”

"How about I call them to bring dinner now? Will that be okay?" Hongjoong's fingers softly brushed against Seonghwa’s cheeks, sending a shiver through him and causing his eyes to instinctively close. The touch felt like a trail of burning fire. When Seonghwa opened his eyes, he was met with Hongjoong’s dark, intense gaze, feeling as though he was about to be devoured. Hongjoong watched him closely. Too close for Seonghwa's comfort. His heart pounded so rapidly and forcefully that he was certain Hongjoong would hear it, if not for the music playing between them.

"The food?" Seonghwa managed, a sudden tension snapping between them. Hongjoong quickly pulled his hand back to his side.

Clearing his throat, Hongjoong reached for the attendant button. "I'll let them know. Why don't you stretch your legs in the cabin? You've been lying down for a while."

"What about you?"

"I took a walk about half an hour ago, I'll be fine. I'll order and wait for the food, then I'll come find you."

Seonghwa nodded before leaving their cubicle. He stopped by the bathrooms first before walking more towards the center of the plane. When they were getting on, Seonghwa was astonished. He thought planes only looked like this in the movies, but it was beautiful with amazing decor and ambiance. It was full of private cubbies and in the middle between first and business class was a small room with a bar. When he walked in he noticed a few people standing around and chatting. He felt a little out of place since he was wearing pajamas, but he wasn’t the only one. 

He wasn’t planning on drinking, but maybe the help of alcohol would soothe his nerves and make him forget about Hongjoong’s fingers on his skin. He ordered his drink and listened to the conversations around him. Hongjoong didn’t say they were flying with other Utopia employees, but from the conversations, he had to assume that almost everyone in the room was part of the company.

“Which designer are you with?” 

Seonghwa couldn’t help but jump at the sudden question beside him. Did people know who he was here with? Did they know that he was Hongjoong’s sugar baby? “Excuse me?” 

“Which designer are you walking for? I haven’t seen you in Maddox’s area before,” the woman repeated. She had an overall soft look about her, blonde hair tied in a loose bun. She was wearing the same pajama bottoms as he was, but her top was cropped, falling right above her waist line. 

“I’m not walking,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. The liquor hit instantly warming him up and he hummed at the sweet taste. 

She leaned toward him. Her hand resting against his arm that was leaning on the bar counter. He wanted to brush her off. “Are you an intern?”

“Ah, no. I’m not—”

“Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa jolted, the woman's hand falling from his arm as he straightened himself. He turned to see Hongjoong standing at the door, his eyes locked on the woman beside him. He heard a chorus of greetings and saw everyone bow and Hongjoong bowed his head slightly in reply. So everyone here was employed by him.

“Dinner is here,” Hongjoong said when his eyes made it back. They flickered again to the woman behind him.

“You work for Hongjoong-nim?” Seonghwa turned toward her before downing the rest of his drink. The sweetness did little to nothing to hide the burn of the alcohol as it slid down his throat. 

“Something like that,” he said, leaving his glass for the bartender before walking to the man. Seonghwa felt Hongjoong’s hand go to his back as they walked to their seats. When he opened the door, the smell of food made his mouth water. He was surprised to see two beautiful plates waiting for them. He was expecting tv dinner style food, not something that looked like it should be in a magazine. He and Hongjoong ate in silence and it was not like Seonghwa didn’t try to talk with the other man, it was that Hongjoong kept replying with one word answers. His earlier softness was replaced with a coldness that Seonghwa wasn’t used to.

As they settled in for the rest of the flight, Seonghwa noticed Hongjoong pulling out his laptop again instead of laying down to sleep. “Hongjoong-ah.” Hongjoong barely gave him a glance, the only acknowledgment that he even heard Seonghwa. “Are you not sleeping?”

“No.”

Seonghwa felt the word like a slap to the face. It was a simple reply, but why did it hurt? Hongjoong had always been nice to him. He was a menace to others, but he’s never been short with Seonghwa. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Seonghwa reached over, touching Hongjoong’s arm lightly, “Did I do something wrong?”

Hongjoong finally looked over at him, the hardness in his face softening slightly at how worried Seonghwa looked. “No, baby. You’re fine.”

“Then why are you acting like I did?”

Hongjoong took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It’s okay, really. You did nothing wrong.”

“Can we go to sleep? Both of us?” Seonghwa asked. He knew he was pouting a little, jutting out his bottom lip and widening his eyes, but he just didn’t want Hongjoong to be upset with him, even if it seemed irrational and he didn’t know the reason. He didn’t like seeing Hongjoong like this, he decided, and he will do anything to make the man smile at him again.

“Pouting doesn’t work on me.”

“Please?”’

Hongjoong groaned, snapping his laptop shut and putting it back in his bag. Seonghwa smiled widely, triumphant in his mission to make the man rest. “You’ve been working this entire time. You’ll be working as soon as we step foot off this plane. Let’s sleep for a bit.”

They reclined their seats back completely, fully transforming them into beds.. There was only a miniscule gap between them and Seonghwa couldn’t help but feel nervous as they turned toward each other. Hongjoong looked so soft, his hair mussed from the seat, his eyes hazy from the lack of sleep. Seonghwa thought he still looked beautiful.

“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong said quietly, not looking away from Seonghwa.

“About?” Seonghwa hummed, sleep already making its way to him.

There was a pause and Hongjoong sighed, his hand tucking Seonghwa’s hair out of his face and pausing by his ear. “Feels good,” he mumbled, “keep going please.”

Seonghwa fell asleep to Hongjoong huffing, but his hand never left Seonghwa’s hair, gently coaxing him to sleep.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa underestimated just how busy Hongjoong would be the first three days of their trip. The only time Seonghwa really saw him was when he stayed up late in the common room in their suite. The hotel they were staying in was absolutely beautiful and only a few blocks away from where Utopia was holding all of their walks. Hongjoong set them up in a suite that had two rooms connected by a common room in between. The room had a balcony that overlooked a bustling street below that was full of cafes and restaurants. They were definitely in a more touristic part of the city, but he didn’t mind.

He liked seeing the different types of people as he sat outside curled up with a blanket late at night. The first two nights weren’t too cold while he stayed up for Hongjoong, but on the third night, the weather was damp and he wondered if it would snow. So he stayed inside and moved one of the loveseats to the window, not wanting to miss out on the lights for a single night.

Paris was beautiful and he spent a lot of the past three days roaming on his own. He stopped in a lot of places, in a lot of stores and cafes. He found an area full of buskers and he stayed for hours just munching on treats and drinking coffee while listening. He took a ton of photos, sending them to Minjeong and Wooyoung so they could show Bonhwa.

Seonghwa missed Bonhwa. He enjoyed Paris, but being this far away from his son really had him on edge every day. Even though Minjeong wasn’t trustworthy on certain things, he knew that he could trust her overall. She was never a mean mother, just her priorities were elsewhere. She updated Seonghwa often with how he was doing, and he talked with them every night before Bonhwa’s bed time. Most of the time Seonghwa was out exploring while they called so he got to show Bonhwa random sites as he walked through the streets.

Wooyoung, San, and Yeosang had Bonhwa today, and Seonghwa received basically non-stop texts and calls from the boy. Whenever he got his hands on one of their phones, he called Seonghwa. He never minded, but he wouldn’t lie and say he had a slight panic attack when the first few calls came in unprompted. By the end of the day he was used to the random calls and smiled any time their names popped up on the screen.

Another person constantly texting him was Hongjoong. The man texted him almost every hour, usually it was a photo of what he was doing behind the scenes, other times it was a series of emojis that encapsulated his mood at the time. Seonghwa always sent a response back, telling the man what he saw as the day continued.

Today was different, though. He didn’t receive one photo or silly emoji from the younger. Seonghwa knew that Hongjoong’s Utopia By. No1LikeMe show was tomorrow and he must have been stressed about any last minute changes or decisions. So Seonghwa took the lead, sending him photos of his different coffees and food he got throughout the day, even a selfie he took with a few kittens that he played with in an alley for awhile. They reminded him of the kittens in the alley near his apartment, hoping they were doing okay in the winter. He was sure Bonhwa convinced Wooyoung to stop by to check on them, the man himself loving cats so much.

Once he was washed up and nice and warm from being outside all day, he sent Hongjoong a photo of his view in front of him. Tthe snow finally falling gracefully from the sky instead of the icy rain that was happening earlier.

Seonghwa

Be careful on your way back

Hongjoong

Did you move the loveseat to the window?

Seonghwa

Of course. I can’t sit outside in this weather

Are you coming back soon?

The three dots came up and disappeared several times before a reply came in.

Hongjoong

You should go to bed 

Seonghwa

I’ll wait for you

Hongjoong

Don’t

There’s a lot to do

You need rest. This is a vacation for you

Seonghwa

So do you 

Hongjoong 

I’ll get to rest tomorrow after the show

Seonghwa thought hard about how he could get Hongjoong to come back sooner, but he truly came up with nothing. It wasn’t like they were dating, but he was still worried about Hongjoong. If the man was taking care of himself. He knew that Hongjoong skipped most meals. He learned that when they would go out to dinner and he watched as the blond scarfed his food down like he hadn't eaten all day, only to find out that he actually hasn't. 

Seonghwa

Please, Hongjoong-ah

I’m worried about you

Hongjoong’s reply came instantly

Hongjoong

I’m okay, baby. 

Sleep. I’ll be there by the time you wake up.

Seonghwa sighed, but a small smile touched his lips. He knew Hongjoong was trying to reassure him, even if the words were short. He got up from the loveseat, stretching his tired muscles. He made himself some tea before he settled back on the loveseat to watch the snow. It was mesmerizing, each flake a tiny, perfect star. He wished Hongjoong was there, curled up next to him, watching it fall. He thought about calling Wooyoung, but it was too late. Instead, he pulled out his phone and started scrolling through the photos he had taken throughout the day, which brought a small comfort to him. 

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

When he woke up, the world outside was cloaked in white and the moon was high in the sky. A sharp crash from somewhere behind him, followed by a low string of muttered curses, jolted him fully awake.

“Hongjoong-ah?” Seonghwa’s voice was a soft, sleepy murmur as he slowly craned his neck over the back of the plush loveseat. In the dim light, a shadow moved, revealing the familiar silhouette of the other man. Hongjoong practically jumped, clearly not expecting Seonghwa to be awake, let alone still curled up on the loveseat.

Hongjoong moved closer, his features gradually becoming clearer from the dark as he approached. The soft glow of the moon filtering through the window, coupled with the distant streetlights, cast a subtle light across the room. “Hi, baby. I thought I told you to go to bed,” he said, his voice low.

Seonghwa hummed in response as Hongjoong’s hands, still a little cold from his walk back from the temporary work building, gently settled on Seonghwa’s cheek. “I wanted to wait for you.”

Something unreadable flickered in Hongjoong’s eyes, a fleeting emotion that Seonghwa was far too tired to even attempt to decipher.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Hongjoong urged, his voice soft but firm.

Seonghwa didn’t argue. He felt himself being gently pulled to his feet, a strong arm wrapping securely around his waist as they made their way towards his room. He allowed Hongjoong to guide him, to tuck him into the warmth of the blankets. He felt the familiar touch of Hongjoong’s hand on his cheek again, and this time, Seonghwa reached up, his fingers circling around Hongjoong’s wrist. “Stay, please.”

“Seonghwa-ya, I shouldn’t.” There was a hint of reluctance, a touch of something unsaid in Hongjoong’s voice.

Seonghwa hummed, his grip on the other man’s wrist tightening almost imperceptibly. “I miss you.” The words were a soft confession, heavy with a longing that stretched beyond just the few hours of the day.

“I’m right here, baby,” Hongjoong said, an amused laugh escaping him. Seonghwa knew, even through his haze of sleepiness and desire, that he would later feel a flush of embarrassment about this moment. He was practically begging the man for any glimmer of affection, any hint that Hongjoong might possibly feel something for him. But in the quiet moment, with Hongjoong’s hand on his face, embarrassment wasn’t a concern. All that mattered was the warmth, the presence, and the unspoken yearning that Seonghwa felt heavily in his heart.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

When Seonghwa woke up the next day, he knew immediately that he slept in longer than he wanted to. He wanted to get up to see Hongjoong off, maybe go pick him up some breakfast and make sure the man ate before the big day, but he never set an alarm on his phone before going to bed the night before. 

That’s when the embarrassment hit him like a truck. The memories came to the forefront of his mind, him telling Hongjoong he missed him and to stay with him. God, what was he thinking? He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to banish the humiliating thoughts. He needed to stay in control. Hongjoong invited Seonghwa because he needed Seonghwa to lean on, to keep the creative spark flowing through the stressful time that was Fashion Week. 

Last night he smudged the lines they both had been carefully drawing by asking Hongjoong to stay with him. He knew that Hongjoong found him attractive, that was the whole point of this arrangement. Hongjoong got work done due to Seonghwa being his muse, but Seonghwa’s own feelings kept getting in the way. He really thought when Hongjoong said “no feelings, no relationship,” Seonghwa would be able to do that. Now that he was laying in this massive bed in a beautiful hotel, in the literal city of love and the fashion capital of the world, he realized he was a weak man. 

Repeating that he hated Hongjoong only went so far. Lying to himself only went so far, but he continued to do it. He could be close to Hongjoong without slipping up. Last night was definitely a one time thing. He and Hongjoong wouldn’t be in that kind of situation often. 

Seonghwa just had to get through this Paris trip. 

He stood, stretching his limbs from the soreness of not moving for longer than intended and got ready for the day. The rain shower felt wonderful on his skin and he stayed in until his fingers were wrinkled. When he emerged from the steam to the main room, he was met with a large bouquet of flowers, an array of pastries, a small gift bag, and a familiar garment bag hanging from the window leading to the balcony. 

Hongjoong was not making this easy for him. His fingers grazed the beautiful array of color from the flowers as he took a quick picture, immediately sending it to Wooyoung, who responded with too many emojis and random letters for Seonghwa to figure out at this time. 

There was a letter laid right next to the food in Hongjoong’s rushed penmanship that Seonghwa had come to recognize easily. 

My Muse,

Good morning. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stay until you woke up. You were sleeping so peacefully that I didn’t want to disturb you to say goodbye. 

This is my first show that I’m bringing someone to, someone that inspired every single piece that will be walking.  I hope I don’t disappoint and you’ll love every piece that walks in front of you tonight. 

I’ll be back around three to pick you up, please wear the suit that is hanging up and the present I got you. Someone from my team will be there to help you with hair and makeup around one.

I know you’ll look fantastic.

HJ

Seonghwa looked at the clock on the wall to see he had about an hour before the makeup artist showed up. He was ready to do his own makeup and hair, video calling Wooyoung and Yeosang to make sure that he looked okay and not too cakey. But of course Hongjoong would send someone over to make sure he was perfect. He was going to be on Hongjoong’s arm tonight, people were going to see him. And with that came other complications. 

He wouldn’t be able to keep Hongjoong a secret any longer. Yeosang and San knew he was in Paris with his mystery man, but he never told them who exactly. He didn’t want Yeosang to feel uncomfortable. In Yeosang’s eyes, Seonghwa was seeing his brand new boss, the one that Yeosang was trying to protect his image from. 

Though, getting to know Hongjoong and the other designers that have popped their heads into Hongjoong’s work room some Saturday mornings, Seonghwa was positive that Yeosang would be protected at Utopia. Seonghwa had mentioned off hand several times about Wooyoung having two partners and Hongjoong never batted an eye at the idea, just continuing the conversation they were having without issue. 

When he turned to the small gift bag, it was white with elegant silver font on the side with a name in French that Seonghwa would never be able to pronounce. Lifting out the tissue paper, he found a beautiful gray box at the bottom, simple, but soft and velvety to the touch as he lifted it out. He slowly revealed a necklace inside. It was a simple star hanging on a small silver chain, the silver was beautiful as it hit the light, shining brightly. When he flipped it over, there was a simple engraving on the back in Korean, My Muse. 

Seonghwa’s breath stuttered, this wasn’t a simple gift Hongjoong bought on a random night. This was planned. He draped it around his neck, the cool silver sitting perfectly in the middle of his collarbone. Seonghwa wanted to do something daring to reward the man for the beautiful necklace and arrangement of food and flowers. He never did anything like this for Hongjoong, getting him gifts or buying him random desserts, but that wasn’t their arrangement. Seonghwa was there for his body, so maybe he should start rewarding Hongjoong more often with it. 

He made sure his robe was slightly open, the necklace being the main focal point, but he made sure his lips made the photo as well, might as well go all out if he was going to try something like this for the first time.

Seonghwa

<photo attached>

Thank you for the gift

The message was read almost immediately, then the dots appeared and reappeared several times before disappearing completely. Seonghwa felt like he over stepped possibly, sending something that was out of the normal for them, especially after what Seonghwa did last night, was probably something he shouldn’t have done now that he was thinking clearly about the situation. He started typing out an apology when Hongjoong finally replied.

Hongjoong

Fuck

Seonghwa 

Hongjoong-ah? 

Hongjoong 

Sorry I spilt my coffee on myself 

I wasn't expecting that 

Seonghwa

Was it… okay? 

That I sent that? 

Hongjoong 

More than okay

Baby

This isn't fair

I don't get to see you for another three hours 

Seonghwa 

Hopefully that photo will keep you motivated

Hongjoong 

I’m more than motivated right now

How do you always look so perfect?

Seonghwa blushed deeply, the heat covering his entire body, making parts of him twitch with want. He knew Hongjoong didn’t want a relationship, but the other man had been flirting with him incessantly, so why couldn’t  Seonghwa do the same? He decided to take one more photo, the main focus was of the beautiful flowers and pastries on display, but he angled the camera just enough to show off his bare legs that were crossed over and the robe opening just enough to show off his thigh. 

Seonghwa

<photo attached>

It’s the least I could do when you treat me like this

Hongjoong

Eat.

I’ll see you soon

This was really dangerous territory Seonghwa was treading but as he picked up a croissant and started nibbling on it, he couldn’t help but smile. Teasing Kim Hongjoong may be his new favorite pastime.  

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa sat in the warmth of the car as it moved slowly through the snow covered streets. People were milling about everywhere, and multiple roads were blocked off as they got closer. He messed with a piece of hair that fell forward into his line of sight, the stand proving to be difficult to keep in the right place. The star necklace sat perfectly against his chest, hidden underneath the ruffles and fabric Hongjoong created for him. 

Beside him, Hongjoong was calm. He was dressed in a sharp suit that was so black, he almost blended into the leather seats, all detail lost. He was on his phone, then off, then gesturing to his assistant in the front seat, his voice a low murmur as he finalized last-minute details. Seonghwa watched him, a familiar ache starting in his chest. This was the Hongjoong he knew from interviews, the one who commanded attention and respect, an unstoppable force in the world of fashion.

The car pulled up to a magnificent, historic building, lit up dramatically against the darkening sky. There was a section of sidewalk teeming with photographers and flashing lights. A wave of nausea washed over Seonghwa as he saw the flashing lights as cameras clicked.

"Ready, baby?" Hongjoong asked, finally turning to him, a dazzling, almost predatory smile playing on his lips. His eyes were bright as he reached forward, messing with the piece of hair that was bothering Seonghwa.

Seonghwa nodded, taking a deep breath. "As I’ll ever be."

As they stepped out, a roar of camera clicks erupted, and a chorus of voices called out Hongjoong's name. Hongjoong’s hand found the small of Seonghwa’s back, a firm touch that sent a jolt through Seonghwa. He felt himself being guided, Hongjoong leaning in to murmur, "Just smile, look at me, and let me do the rest."

And so he did. He smiled, a genuine, if slightly nervous, smile, meeting the flashes with Hongjoong’s steady presence beside him. He could hear snippets of questions from the press, their words a dizzying blur around him.

"Hongjoong-nim, who is your companion tonight?"

"Is this a new model for Utopia?"

Seonghwa watched as Hongjoong answered a few questions, taking microphones from a few companies as he ran the same spiel, just changing the name and a few answers here and there.

More flashes, more murmurs. Seonghwa felt his cheeks flush, but Hongjoong’s hand on his back was a comforting anchor. They continued down the carpet, Hongjoong occasionally stopping for a quick photo, always with Seonghwa at his side. He introduced Seonghwa to a few fellow designers and fashion critics, each introduction delivered with a hint of pride that made Seonghwa’s heart flutter.

Inside, the venue was even more breathtaking. The main hall, where the runway show would take place, was grand with polished marble and soaring ceilings, transformed with dramatic lighting and gold molding installations. Seonghwa felt a sense of awe as they were led to his seat in the front row, directly facing the runway.

Hongjoong’s assistant ran up to him, whispering quickly. Seonghwa felt Hongjoong’s hand slide from the small of his back to his waist before squeezing slightly. 

"I have to head backstage," Hongjoong said. "I was hoping to spend more time out here with you before the show started, but something came up. Make yourself comfortable, and feel free to enjoy the champagne."

Seonghwa nodded, watching Hongjoong weave through the growing crowd. He looked like a natural leader moving with purpose, something that Seonghwa had always admired about him. He took a seat, feeling a mix of excitement and a strange sense of displacement. He was here, at Hongjoong’s side, experiencing a world he’d only ever dreamed of. But he was also acutely aware of the fabricated nature of it all. His mind drifted back to their conversations, the agreement, the lines they were supposedly drawing, the lines that Seonghwa was smudging.

He pulled out his phone for a distraction and was met with a photo from Minjeong. It was of Bonhwa sitting and pointing at a tv that clearly had Hongjoong front and center with Seonghwa standing off to the side. Hongjoong looked beautiful. His teeth glittered as he laughed at something the interviewer said, arm wrapped securely around Seonghwa’s waist. Seonghwa was looking at him like he was the only thing in the world that existed and he felt sick. He hoped Hongjoong never looked back on his interviews. But he truly did love that photo. Bonhwa looked so happy as he smiled at the camera, pointing with excitement. Who wouldn’t want to see their parent on television? Now he got to see both him and Minjeong, even if Seonghwa’s wasn’t for himself. 

A waiter approached, offering a flute of champagne. Seonghwa took one, the bubbles tickling his throat as he took a sip. He looked to the runway, with contentment. He always thought he would be up there walking for Utopia someday. But now as he sits in the slightly uncomfortable chair, beautiful people talking softly around him, Seonghwa was content with how his career and life shifted.

Just then, a familiar voice cut through the low chatter. "Seonghwa-ya!"

Seonghwa looked up, startled, to see Yunho making his way towards him, a wide grin on his face. Behind him was a man a little shorter than him with black hair and a camera in his hand. 

“How am I not surprised you’re here,” Yunho said, pulling Seonghwa into a hug. “You look stunning. Did Hongjoong design this?”

“Yeah,” Seonghwa said, blushing at the praise. “He said it was one of a kind.”

Yunho looked at him again, before slowly turning Seonghwa, a gasp leaving his lips. Seonghwa felt Yunho’s fingers run along the back of his blouse as he tensed up, afraid that something happened to his outfit. “He used pearls on your outfit.”

Seonghwa sighed, the tension leaving him. “He used pearlescent buttons.”

“No, Seonghwa, these buttons are real pearls. None of them are the same color or size. Plus, Hongjoong isn’t known for using fakes.”

“Yunho,” Seonghwa said, tension lacing his voice as he turned towards the other man. “There are pearls all over this outfit.”

“He wasn’t joking about the one of a kind thing.”

“I have to take this off right now,” Seonghwa said, looking around to find a restroom.

“Hyung, slow down,” Yunho said. “You won’t mess it up. Hongjoong-hyung is the best in the industry for a reason. You won’t ruin it.”

“This had to have cost more than four months of my rent, Yunho,” Seonghwa hissed, still looking for an escape.

“Before you take it off, can I take a few photos?” the other man said. Seonghwa forgot he was there due to how quiet he was. 

“Oh, hyung. This is Jongho. He’s a photographer for Utopia and one of our friends. Jongho, this is Seonghwa. I work with him at the school.”

“Nice to meet you,” Seonghwa said as he bowed. He took a deep breath as he straightened up. 

“So?” Jongho said, “Pictures? Hongjoong-hyung will probably want this outfit for a spread.”

Seonghwa stared at Jongho, confused. “Shouldn’t you wait until there’s a model available?”

Yunho grabbed Seonghwa’s shoulders, shaking him slightly. “Hyung, you used to model in high school and college. Just pose. The show is going to start soon.”

Jongho quickly took out his camera, adjusting the settings with practiced ease. "Just stand naturally, Seonghwa-hyung," he instructed, his voice calm and reassuring. "Maybe a little to the left, towards the light."

Seonghwa still felt a whirlwind of emotions but instinctively followed the directions. He posed, recalling flashes of his old modeling days, the subtle shifts in posture, the way to catch the light. Yunho stood nearby, a supportive smile on his face, occasionally offering an encouraging word.

The clicks of Jongho's camera were a rhythmic counterpoint to the quiet murmurs of the growing crowd. Seonghwa found himself relaxing, the intricate details of the pearl-adorned outfit feeling less like a burden and more like a second skin. He even managed a genuine smile, a mix of awe and confidence. After a few minutes, Jongho lowered his camera, reviewing the shots with a satisfied hum.

"Perfect," he said, looking up with a grin. "Hongjoong-hyung is going to love these."

Just as Jongho finished, the lights dimmed further, and a dramatic swell of music filled the hall. The runway grew dark before flashes of light illuminated the gold crowning and chandeliers above them. The show was about to begin. 

Jongho immediately left, off to find a perfect position for each model. Yunho took a seat right next to Seonghwa. “Damn, I need to tell hyung to invest in better seating for his shows.”

“They are slightly uncomfortable,” Seonghwa mentioned. 

“Please make sure to tell him that. He’ll get plush chairs for the next show you go to if you say it.”

Seonghwa snorted, quieting as the music cut off dramatically and started swelling again as the first model stepped out. Seonghwa was surprised as each model walked, because each outfit that was displayed was one that Hongjoong put him in during their Saturdays.

Each one was slightly different, more embellished, more dramatic. But each of these designs started on Seonghwa’s body in some form. Hongjoong used all of the designs that he made with Seonghwa in mind. All but the one he was currently wearing. 

The last model walked, a tall man who looked very familiar dressed in the black outfit that Seonghwa felt was too big for him. Now seeing it on someone taller and broader than him, the piece looked perfect. There were even more ribbons flowing from the outfit, long tendrils that flowed behind the man like ink. Yunho leaned over, his eyes never leaving the model in front of them as he said, “That’s my partner.” 

Of course that’s why he looked more familiar, Seonghwa saw the man with Yunho at the charity gala months ago. Mingi was beautiful, somehow soft but rough at the same time, and looked to be perfect for his friend. He knew hat Yunho and Mingi had been best friends since secondary school along with Hongjoong, but seeing the look in Yunho’s eyes, his friend really found the perfect person. 

As soon as Mingi turned the corner and disappeared, the catwalk was flooded with models as they all did the final walk. Seonghwa watched as each model entered the catwalk, waiting for the flash of black and purple that was the complete opposite of his own suit, but still a perfect match. 

Hongjoong walked out with a huge smile on his face and bowed several times in each direction. Seonghwa watched as he walked a few more paces, saying thank you to models and his continued bowing to the crowd. Seonghwa couldn’t keep his eyes off of the man. Hongjoong really had the entire building wrapped around his finger and the most dangerous part was that he knew that and he used it to his advantage. 

When Seonghwa’s eyes met his, he couldn’t help the massive smile that took over his face. Hongjoong bowed again, deeper and longer than he had this entire time and when he straightened up, Seonghwa swore he saw tears in the man's eyes. He gasped, wanting to comfort Hongjoong just like he had done to Seonghwa multiple times before, but soon Hongjoong was walking further down the walk, waving and smiling, and ethereal. 

As soon as Hongjoong stepped off the runway, the lights brightened, and the music shifted to a more upbeat tempo, signaling the end of the show and the beginning of the after-party. Seonghwa immediately stood, a surge of adrenaline coursing through him. He saw Yunho clapping vigorously, a wide, proud smile on his face.

"He did it," Yunho said, turning to Seonghwa, his eyes shining. "He absolutely killed it. Every piece was incredible."

"They were," Seonghwa agreed, his voice a little hoarse. He couldn't shake the image of Hongjoong's tear-filled eyes. He needed to find him, to tell him how amazing he was, how beautiful his work was.

The crowd began to disperse, people rising from their seats, mingling, and heading towards the various exits leading to the after-party. Seonghwa and Yunho moved with the flow, navigating through the elegant chaos.

"I need to go congratulate him," Seonghwa said, looking around. "Where do you think he'll be?"

"Backstage first, probably," Yunho replied. "He'll be with the models and his team, riding the high. Then he'll make an appearance at the party. You know Hongjoong-hyung, he loves a grand entrance."

Seonghwa nodded, a small smile touching his lips. That sounded exactly like Hongjoong. As they continued to walk, Yunho excused himself to find Mingi, leaving Seonghwa to navigate the buzzing crowd alone. He found himself drawn towards the direction of the backstage area, a feeling of urgency guiding his steps. He wanted to be there for Hongjoong, to offer his support before the public facade fully returned.

He slipped through a less crowded doorway, finding himself in a bustling corridor filled with models still in their extravagant outfits, stylists packing up, and various crew members chatting excitedly. The energy was palpable, a mix of relief and exhilaration. He spotted a group gathered around what looked like Hongjoong, a flurry of hands clapping his back, voices praising him.

Seonghwa hesitated, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He was in this incredibly expensive outfit, but he was still just Seonghwa, the sugar baby. Would Hongjoong want him here, in this moment of pure artistic triumph, when his friends and colleagues were celebrating him? He felt a familiar pang of insecurity.

Just as he was about to turn away, Hongjoong looked up, his eyes sweeping the room, and locking onto Seonghwa. The boisterous smile on Hongjoong's face softened, a genuine warmth replacing the public dazzle. He excused himself from the group, his gaze never leaving Seonghwa as he walked toward him.

"Seonghwa-ya," Hongjoong said, his voice a low murmur, only for Seonghwa's ears. He reached out, one hand gently cupping Seonghwa's cheek, while the other went to his corseted waist, pulling him closer. "You didn’t have to come back here."

Seonghwa felt a blush creep up his neck. "Of course I did. I wanted to tell you... it was incredible, Hongjoong-ah. Truly beautiful."

Hongjoong's eyes searched his, a vulnerability in their depths that Seonghwa rarely saw. "You really think so?"

"Every piece," Seonghwa said, his voice earnest. "They were all so personal. I could see you in every design."

A genuine, breathtaking smile spread across Hongjoong's face, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "That means more to me than you know." He leaned in, his voice dropping to a whisper. "They were made with you in mind, but I think you know that by now.”

“I like the addition you made on Mingi’s outfit the most. The tendrils flowing behind on the stark white was beautiful. He looked like a beautiful monster. But,” Seonghwa paused, remembering the pearls scattered all over him like a treasure from the ocean. He also remembered the feeling of bravery, the unexpected confidence dressing like this gave him. "This one is my favorite," he confessed, a shy smile of his own emerging. "It made me feel like a prince."

Hongjoong chuckled, a soft, rich sound that sent a shiver down Seonghwa's spine. "Good. Because that's exactly what you are, baby. My muse. My prince." His thumb stroked Seonghwa's cheek and Hongjoong’s eyes flickered downward, and for a fleeting moment, Seonghwa forgot they were in a crowded backstage area, forgot the cameras, the public, the arrangement. All that existed was Hongjoong's touch, his gaze, and the intoxicating warmth spreading through Seonghwa's chest.

"Come," Hongjoong said, his voice regaining a touch of its earlier command, though still softened for Seonghwa. "Let's go celebrate. I have a lot of people to introduce you to."

He took Seonghwa's hand, his fingers intertwining with Seonghwa's, a public declaration that sent a fresh wave of anxiety and exhilaration through Seonghwa. As they walked, Hongjoong glanced at him, a playful glint in his eyes. "You know," he began, his voice a teasing whisper, "I had a feeling this would be an uproar. Now that the set is over, everyone will be wondering who the man wearing custom No1LikeMe is. It just adds to the anticipation, doesn't it? The way people will wonder about the brand, about us, just like they wondered after our first few dates back home. Always keeping them guessing, always wanting more."

Seonghwa took a sharp breath at the statement. He knew they were sighted around the city, but he never guessed that it would be a huge issue, but people have always been interested in Hongjoong’s dating life, never being out in public with any potential lover, one of the top bachelors in the city of Seoul and he was making custom clothing for Seonghwa. Hongjoong and Utopia won’t be leaving anyone's mouths for weeks. And for the first time since Hongjoong asked to meet with Seonghwa, he realized that this was more than likely the plan all along. 

Because any press was good press. 

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

The after-party was a whirlwind of flashing lights, empty conversations, and flowing champagne. Hongjoong was the celebrated designer, the center of attention, but he kept Seonghwa by his side. Introducing him to an endless stream of fashion icons, celebrities, and influential figures. Seonghwa found himself smiling and nodding, occasionally offering a polite, well-rehearsed answer to a question about Hongjoong's work or the inspiration behind the collection. Hongjoong’s hand never strayed far from Seonghwa’s back or waist, a constant possessive presence that subtly announced their connection to everyone in the room.

As the night continued, between the whirlwind of faces and glasses of champagne, Seonghwa started becoming exhausted. Seonghwa watched Hongjoong, who seemed to thrive on the energy of the crowd, his smile never faltering. But then Hongjoong finally leaned in, his voice soft against Seonghwa’s ear, "Let's go, baby. You look like you're about to fall asleep on your feet.”

The ride back to the hotel was a blur. The car was quiet, almost giving Seonghwa whiplash from how loud the party was before. He definitely drank too much at the party, every time his glass was empty, a waiter was there with a new one. Drinking the glasses gave him something to do, so he looked like he was invested in the stories and names being thrown around him. The streets were full of people milling about, some holding random items to be signed by celebrities, others taking photos. Hongjoong sat beside him, his suit unbuttoned, his hair messed up from running a tired hand through it, a sigh escaping him as he relaxed. 

When they finally stepped into their suite, Hongjoong didn’t wait to start unbuttoning his suit. Seonghwa watched as he took it off piece by piece, throwing them onto the loveseat without a care of their price or value. Seonghwa realized he was watching the man basically undress before he reached around, starting on the corset tie. But the stylist from earlier helped him dress and she put a knot in the ribbon so it wouldn’t budge. At the time he thought it was a good idea, but now that he was trying to take it off, he couldn’t get it untied. 

Seonghwa didn’t realize he whined until Hongjoong laughed, making his way over to stand behind him. “Need help, baby?”

Seonghwa nodded, straightening his arms back. He felt so nervous as Hongjoong’s hands worked diligently on loosening the ribbon. Hongjoong lifted the corset over Seonghwa’s head before hands were at his waist, slowly pulling the blouse that was tucked into his pants out. Seonghwa held his breath the entire time, warm hands grazing his skin. 

“You truly looked beautiful tonight,” Hongjoong said, hands moving toward his back, undoing the buttons that lined down his spine. His voice was low, a soft murmur against Seonghwa’s ear. Seonghwa shivered, goosebumps rising on his arms despite the warmth of the room. He felt Hongjoong's lips brush against the sensitive skin of his neck, a light, teasing touch that made his breath hitch. Hongjoong had never touched him like this before. Seonghwa didn’t know if it was just the adrenaline of the night, but he wanted more.

"I still can't believe how perfect you looked," Hongjoong continued, his voice husky. "Every photographer, every journalist, every designer. They all wanted to know who you were. My mystery man. This is thrilling isn’t it? They know absolutely nothing.”

Seonghwa leaned back into Hongjoong’s touch, his head tilting slightly without even realizing, giving Hongjoong even more access. Hongjoong’s breath tickled as he placed a kiss at the junction where his neck met his shoulder. He knew he shouldn’t let this happen, but it felt so good and he hasn’t been touched like this in years. 

“What are you playing at, Hongjoong-ah?” Seonghwa asked, one hand coming up and slipping his hand in Hongjoong’s hair. 

“Don’t you get it, baby?” Hongjoong whispered, letting his lips move against Seonghwa. “It’s all about the intrigue. The allure of the unknown. Just like how I built Utopia, by making people curious, by making them crave what we offered. Having no love interests for years and then randomly showing up with someone who looks like a model, but is a normal person. Wearing something that no one will ever own but you. How could someone get a custom made outfit By No1LikeMe? Is it possible? When I’ll do an interview in a few weeks saying we’re just friends, people will speculate and talk even more.” His hands unbuttoned the last pearl, the blouse slipping off one shoulder. “They’ll be captivated. But honestly who could blame them?” Hongjoong ran his nose along Seonghwa’s shoulder before he gently turned Seonghwa around. 

His hands landed on Seonghwa’s hips, pulling him flush against his body. Hongjoong’s eyes were dark and intense, dropped to Seonghwa's lips, and god, Seonghwa hoped he would shrink the distance. Hongjoong lifted one hand, pulling down on Seonghwa’s bottom lip with his middle finger. When the digit entered Seonghwa’s mouth, he took no time biting it slightly and wrapping his lips around it. His tongue grazed Hongjoong’s finger and something dark flashed in Hongjoong’s eyes.

 The moment was broken by Seonghwa’s phone ringing. Seonghwa jumped so hard, he almost fell backwards, Hongjoong’s hands the only thing keeping him upright. 

“You should get that,” Hongjoong said, turning away to gather the clothes he piled up on the loveseat. 

Seonghwa took a deep breath before pulling his phone out of his pocket, a picture of Wooyoung and Bonhwa filled the screen and he couldn’t help but smile. 

“Hello?”

“Holy fuck! Park Seonghwa, you fucker. I can’t believe you.”

Seonghwa had to hold his phone away from his ear with how loud Wooyoung was. “Hello, why are you yelling at me?”

“Firstly, you looked absolutely stunning. Let me get that out of the way. Secondly, you didn’t tell Yeo or Sannie about Hongjoong? Why am I the one getting bombarded with questions when you showed up in Paris with him?”

“Ah,” Seonghwa said, looking to Hongjoong who had all the fabric in his hands, but was watching him with a smirk. “There’s really nothing to tell—”

“Nothing to tell?” Yeosang said, “That’s my boss you’re sleeping with! And you didn’t think to tell me?”

Seonghwa jolted at the accusation. “We’re not—” He cut himself off, looking at Hongjoong again who started hanging the pieces up in their respectable garment bags. Honestly, if Hongjoong asked Seonghwa to sleep with him tonight, he wouldn’t say no. The man looked delicious in the state of undress that he was in. Black undershirt hugging his frame, arms on display, belt unbuckled and pants low on his waist. “It’s not like that. It’s publicity.”

“Publicity? Hyung, did you know about that?” Wooyoung asked. He heard Wooyoung mutter that he was going to another room, leaving Yeosang and San behind.

Seonghwa didn’t know Hongjoong's plan. He knew absolutely nothing. But honestly, Seonghwa should have guessed. Hongjoong had been using him since the beginning. Of course, Seonghwa didn’t know the extent that Hongjoong would go, but he knew that it was more than just being his muse. “I knew to an extent.”

“You’re going to get hurt,” Wooyoung said. “Is all this really worth it instead of letting me help?”

“I’m doing it in my own way. I’m working for it.” 

Wooyoung sighed and Seonghwa could tell he was rubbing his face out of frustration. “You’re going to get hurt.” 

“Yes, you’ve said that already. I’m an adult, Wooyoung. I make my own decisions and I will lay in my own bed, no matter how screwed up this is.”

Seonghwa didn’t let Wooyoung continue, hanging up on him with a sigh. He put his phone back in his pocket, the silence in the room suddenly deafening after Wooyoung’s frantic shouting. Hongjoong had finished putting away the clothes and was now leaning against the doorframe of his own room, watching Seonghwa with an unreadable expression.

"Are you okay?" Hongjoong asked, his voice softer than Seonghwa expected.

Seonghwa shrugged, running a hand through his hair. "As okay as I can be after being yelled at by two of my best friends." He let out a bitter laugh. "They think you’re going to hurt me."

Hongjoong pushed off the doorframe, walking slowly towards Seonghwa. "And what do you think, Seonghwa-ya?" He stopped directly in front of him, reaching out to cup Seonghwa’s cheek, his thumb gently stroking the skin. "Do you think I’m going to hurt you?"

Seonghwa’s breath hitched. He wanted to say no, to believe with all his heart that Hongjoong wouldn’t intentionally cause him pain. But the rational part of his brain, the part that had watched Hongjoong manipulate situations and people with such effortless grace, whispered otherwise. This entire arrangement was a calculated move, a performance designed to generate buzz. And Seonghwa was a key player in that performance.

"Yes," Seonghwa admitted, his voice barely a whisper. He looked into Hongjoong’s dark eyes, searching for an answer, a reassurance that Hongjoong wasn’t just playing him for a fool.

Hongjoong hummed, his hands going to Seonghwa’s shoulders, and slowly slipping off the blouse that hung loosely on his frame. He did wish some of Hongjoong’s actions were real. Like right now, the way he was staring at Seonghwa like he wanted to devour him whole, that felt real. There were no paparazzi taking photos, no one walking into his work room, no random spontaneous dates. Just them. 

Seonghwa let him fully take the shirt off of him before throwing it behind them. Seonghwa would have chased after the garment if it wasn’t for Hongjoong’s hands on his belt in the next second.

“You’re probably not wrong,” Hongjoong said, pulling the belt free and letting it drop to the floor. “If you let me, though, I’ll take care of you in the process.”

Seonghwa gasped as Hongjoong pulled the zipper of his pants down. His hands reached up instinctively, gripping Hongjoong’s shoulders tightly to steady himself. Blood rushed to his cock so quickly that he became dizzy, his body betraying him. He wanted to pull away, gain some semblance of control, but Hongjoong was so intoxicating.

Hongjoong dropped to his knees and Seonghwa groaned at the sight, the man's eyes never leaving Seonghwa’s as he pulled the pants down, not a care in the world for the pearls scattered all down the legs, he tapped Seonghwa’s calf and he stepped out of them without question. Hongjoong leaned forward, mouthing at Seonghwa’s clothed cock messily.

The thought of Hongjoong liking it messy made his head reel. “I’m the sugar baby,” Seonghwa gasped as Hongjoong pulled down his underwear, shivering as the cold air hit his cock. “I should be doing this for you.”

“What if I told you that this would help me more than you on your knees,” Hongjoong said, licking a stripe on the underside of his cock before spitting on the head.

“Are you saying you don’t want me to suck you off?” 

Hongjoong looked up, his eyes meeting Seonghwa’s. A slow, predatory smile spread across his face, a glint of mischief in his dark eyes. "I’m saying, baby," Hongjoong purred, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down Seonghwa’s spine, “that you played today perfectly and I want to reward you.” Hongjoong sank all the way down, his nose brushing against Seonghwa’s trimmed hair at the base before gagging and pulling back. Seonghwa felt like he was about to faint when Hongjoong smiled, his chin covered in spit and precum.

This was dangerous. This was exactly what his friends were worried about. But in this moment, all Seonghwa could feel was Hongjoong, the heat, the wetness, the exquisite pleasure that was slowly consuming him. He closed his eyes, surrendering to the sensation, letting himself be lost in the moment. He grabbed onto Hongjoong’s blond hair, tightening his grip just enough to feel the vibration of the groan Hongjoong let out made Seonghwa sigh pleasantly. Fuck, he was going to get hurt, he knew it. But for now, he would take whatever Hongjoong was willing to give.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Seonghwa was afraid that it would be awkward after what happened between the two on the night of the fashion show, but it wasn’t. The morning after Hongjoong dropped to his knees, Seonghwa left his room to find Hongjoong dressed for the day sitting on the loveseat in the main room, scrolling on his phone. He looked so soft in a fluffy sweater tucked into blue jeans. 

“Good morning, Seonghwa-yah. What do you want to do today?” Hongjoong smiled at him.

A vision flashed before his eyes, of that same smile licking cum off his face in front of him, saying goodnight with a simple wave of his hand before shutting the door to his own bedroom. 

“I, uh, don’t really know. All I’ve been doing is just walking and seeing where it took me.”

“Well, get dressed, baby. I’ll take you to all my favorite spots.”

That’s how he found himself having lunch on a boat on the Seine river. It was very cold and wet, the snow already melting. The cruise was beautiful and the food was even better. Hongjoong ordered for him in perfect French and they held conversation easily. He decided to send a few photos to Wooyoung, knowing that he had Bonhwa until he came back. A video call came through almost instantly.

“Hello?”

“Dad! Where are you right now?” 

Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh and turn down his volume, his son being rather loud. Hongjoong giggled from across the table, leaning back in his chair. “The river of Seine. Did you like the photo I sent?” 

“Is Hongjoong-ssi with you?”

Seonghwa felt his heart stutter. He looked over his phone to find Hongjoong already staring at him. He stood, scooting his chair over, their thighs becoming flush as Hongjoong squeezed into the frame.

“Hello, Bonhwa-yah.”

“Hongjoong-ssi, it was so cool seeing your clothes last night! Can you make me some? I wanna match Dad.”

“Ah, that’s one of a kind. For your dad only, but I could make you something else. Give me a few weeks, yeah?”

“Thanks!” 

“Okay, okay. Let me talk to your dad,” Wooyoung said, taking the phone from the boy. Wooyoung looked to the screen and then squinted at the two. “Hongjoong-ssi. Nice to meet you properly.”

“Is this proper? I feel like we would need to be face to face,” Hongjoong said.

“Semantics,” he said, waving his hands. “Now, if you hurt my hyung—”

“Jung Wooyoung,” Seonghwa hissed, bringing the phone closer to his face. “You are not about to give the fucking shovel talk right now.”

“Dad said a bad word!” Bonhwa yelled from off the screen.

Seonghwa pinched the bridge of his nose, a headache blooming behind his eyes. “Do not do this right now. And please give Bonhwa the money for me.” He felt a hand on his thigh, squeezing softly. Seonghwa looked over to see a soft smile on Hongjoong’s lips. He nodded to the phone but Seonghwa shook his head. 

“I’m sorry, hyung. For several things, by the way. Call when you’re back at the hotel?” Wooyoung said, softly. 

“I’ll talk to you later.” 

He hung up the phone and let it drop onto the table, the silverware and glasses of wine shook with the impact. 

“I know that I’ve only ever heard you talk about Wooyoung or hear him on the phone, but he sure is a character.” 

Seonghwa laughed, annoyance in his tone. “Yeah, yeah he is.”

“The shovel talk, huh?”

“Hongjoong-ah,” Seonghwa said, blushing a deep red. 

Hongjoong leaned closer, the hand on his thigh climbing higher, Seonghwa’s breath hitched. “I wonder what he would say if he knew what happened last night. If he knew how pretty you groaned as I was on my knees for you.”

Seonghwa felt his mouth go dry, unable to speak, his eyes wide and fixed on Hongjoong. He felt a hand graze very close to somewhere Hongjoong shouldn’t be in public. Seonghwa jumped, grabbing Hongjoong's hand, stopping its roaming but not removing it completely. He gave the younger a pointed look and Hongjoong laughed, squeezing one more time before pulling away. Hongjoong didn’t move his chair back to the other side of the table, reaching over and grabbing his plate and wine.

“You’re insane,” Seonghwa said, adjusting slightly in his seat. He was happy that he was wearing a cloak today that Hongjoong had brought for him to wear while they explored. He definitely needed the extra coverage until he could calm down.

Hongjoong giggled as he stuffed another bite of pasta in his mouth. “Let’s go to Notre Dame once we get off the boat. It’s a favorite of mine.”

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Hongjoong spent all day dragging Seonghwa around Paris. They saw more sights in one day than he did in the two days he had to roam by himself. It also made Seonghwa more comfortable that Hongjoong spoke French, easily ordering and navigating the city for them both. The city was absolutely gorgeous. The old architecture was Seonghwa’s favorite part. Seeing something so grand as someone's everyday normal was fascinating.

Hongjoong bought him everything Seonghwa stared at a little too long. Macarons in a bakery window? Bought. A gray sweater in a small boutique? Bought. A street vendor selling cute tourist keychains? Multiple bought for his friends and Bonhwa. 

He learned not to argue with Hongjoong by the third time Seonghwa tried to pay for something for himself. With Hongjoong saying, “I’ll just guess the price of everything you bought and add it to the running total of the trip.” Seonghwa gave up after that. Hongjoong was already paying Seonghwa an exuberant amount of money for this trip, he really didn’t want to give Hongjoong an excuse to somehow add on more.

They ended their night walking along the river when Hongjoong held up his phone, the camera clicking a few times when Seonghwa turned to him. “What are you doing?” 

“Let’s do a mini photoshoot,” Hongjoong said, tapping the camera button again.

“Hongjoong-ah, let’s not do that.”

Hongjoong pouted, before starting to push Seonghwa back so he was leaning against the edge overlooking the river. “Photos, baby. You look so cute, I want to remember this. Time to bring out your old skills. Pose for me.”

So Seonghwa did. He felt extremely shy as he kept changing poses, looking at Hongjoong with questioning gazes. Hongjoong just kept his camera up, taking more photos, occasionally directing Seonghwa with a soft word or gentle gesture. The air was cold but Seonghwa felt burning hot under Hongjoong’s eyes. When Hongjoong finally lowered the camera, he had a large smile spread across his face.

“Perfect,” he said, scrolling through the photos. “Come look, baby.”

Seonghwa walked over, stepping behind Hongjoong and hooking his chin on Hongjoong’s shoulder to peer at the screen. “Oh, wow.” Hongjoong wasn’t lying. The person in those photos didn’t look like him. The man on the screen was confident, alluring even. He was highlighted by the soft glow of the city lights, of the water sparkling behind him, the cloak making him look elegant. “These are amazing.” 

“I used to dabble in photography when I was younger,” Hongjoong said, going back over the photos again.

“Mh, I know,” Seonghwa said.

“You know?”

Seonghwa’s mind caught up a second too late before he wrenched himself from Hongjoong, almost tripping on the cobblestone in the process. 

“What do you mean ‘you know?’” Hongjoong said, turning around with a confused look.

Seonghwa looked everywhere but the man in front of him, “I mean. I looked you up when we first started talking. I needed to know what I was getting myself into.”

“And?”

“And what?” Seonghwa asked, hoping Hongjoong believed him. If he found out that Seoghwa had been following him for over a decade, he was screwed. He would be put on the first flight back to Seoul.

“And does my online persona fit the me you know?” 

Seonghwa softened at the question, because Hongjoong was so much more than the person he saw through a screen. “Not at all, Hongjoong-ah.”

Hongjoong stared at him for a few seconds longer, his eyes seemed to be searching for more, but Seonghwa gave nothing away. “Let’s go back, yeah?” 

He followed Hongjoong back to their hotel, with slight nervousness. What if Hongjoong wanted to continue what they started last night? Would Seonghwa say no? Would he deny himself the feeling of Hongjoong on him, in him? He was not a strong man, Seonghwa has been known for following his urges, that’s how he ended up with a six year old. He liked to think he was better at controlling himself now, but Hongjoong was a creature that Seonghwa just couldn’t say no to. 

But as soon as they stepped foot into their suite, Hongjoong said goodnight with a wave of his hand and before Seonghwa could respond, the door to his room was shut in his face. Seonghwa let out a shaky breath, not knowing if he felt relieved or disappointed. 

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

The next morning, Seonghwa was woken by the soft glow of the early sun coming through the window he forgot to close the curtain to the night before. He stretched lazily, his body still heavy with sleep. When he moved to the main room, everything was quiet, Hongjoong’s door to his room was still closed. 

Seonghwa decided to be lazy, scrolling on his phone, answering a few emails and texts before his stomach rumbled. He hasn’t ordered room service from the hotel yet, opting to go out and explore instead of staying in, but Seonghwa was feeling lazy today. So he browsed the menu, settling on some pastries, fresh fruit, and coffee for both him and Hongjoong. 

He placed the order and padded into the bathroom, beginning his morning routine and letting the water from the shower fully wake him up. While picking an outfit, Seonghwa didn’t have anything in mind. He didn’t know what Hongjoong had planned for the day, so he reached for a plain long sleeve shirt and black slacks.

By the time the discreet knock on the door signaled that breakfast arrived, Seonghwa had expected to hear some movement from the other room, a sign that Hongjoong was stirring, but there was nothing. He accepted the cart from the attendant before leaving everything in the main room, the smell of coffee filling the room. 

He walked to Hongjoong’s door, tapping his knuckles lightly. “Hongjoong-ah?” he called softly, his voice barely over a whisper. There was no answer, so he slowly pushed open the door, the room cascaded in darkness and a small lump on the edge of the bed, hidden in a mountain of blankets. 

Seonghwa moved closer, his footsteps muffled by the carpet. Hongjoong looked so incredibly tiny wrapped up like this. Completely different from the man he’d witnessed the past few days. His soft cheeks were puffed out with each soft snore and his hair was a disheveled mess.

“Hongjoong-ah,” Seonghwa said again, a little louder this time as he stepped right up to the side of the bed. The man stirred slightly, but his eyes stayed closed. Seonghwa called out one more time, slowly holding out his hand to jostle Hongjoong, but he was caught off guard when a hand shot out from the blankets, wrapping firmly around Seonghwa’s wrist. Before he could even register what was happening, he was being pulled down. A yelp escaped his lips as he tumbled on top of Hongjoong, the other arm was warm as it wrapped around Seonghwa’s waist, pulling him into Hongjoong’s warm chest. 

A low whine rumbled against his ear, Hongjoong’s voice was thick from sleep, the vibration sent a shiver down Seonghwa’s spine. “Good morning,” Hongjoong murmured, sleep still evident in his tone. Seonghwa chuckled, letting himself relax into the hold. 

“I ordered us breakfast and coffee.”

Hongjoong hummed, squeezing his arms tighter and burying his nose in Seonghwa’s hair. “Thank you, baby.”

Seonghwa laughed, “You’re welcome, but that means you should get up or the coffee will get cold.”

“I like iced coffee better anyway,” Hongjoong mumbled, sleep overtaking him again. Seonghwa decided to not try any further. He was nice and warm in Hongjoong’s arms and he could always take a nap.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

He was woken up by a shrill ringtone right next to him. Seonghwa groaned, fumbling around the bed until he found the culprit, Hongjoong’s phone shone brightly in the dark room, his assistant’s name boldly stated. Seonghwa touched the hand still wrapped around his waist, tapping it harder since the man behind him didn’t budge. “Your assistant,” Seonghwa said with a grumble. 

Hongjoong whined, a high pitch sound in the back of his throat as he stretched against Seonghwa and the soft late morning they were having, turned rather hard in an instant as Hongjoong’s hard cock pushed against Seonghwa’s ass. Morning wood was common, Seonghwa knew this, being a man and dealing with it on a daily basis, but feeling just how big he felt made heat curl in the pit of his stomach. 

“Hello?” Hongjoong said, his voice barely working. Seonghwa didn’t dare move, not when Hongjoong slipped his hand back around Seonghwa’s waist, pulling him closer, not when Hongjoong sighed at the pressure, and definitely not when Hongjoong kissed his shoulder, moving up his neck. 

This moment was very dangerous for them. Both still not thinking straight, waking up so warm and cozy, but when Seonghwa pushed back slightly, and Hongjoong made a small noise, something in Seonghwa broke. He wanted to hear more sounds coming from Hongjoong, and he wanted to hear them now. 

He rotated his hips in a circle, Hongjoong’s breath catching and hand tightening on Seonghwa’s waist, pulling him closer. Hongjoong continued talking and listening, his voice becoming more and more clear as the conversation went on. The next thing was something Seonghwa wasn’t expecting himself to do, but he started to slide down the bed. The blanket hid him as he was met with a large tent in Hongjoong’s pajama pants. He set his hands on the waistband, giving Hongjoong enough time to push him off, but the man just raised his hips, silently telling Seonghwa to take them off. 

Seonghwa slid everything to mid thigh in one fluid motion, the cock bouncing and hitting him in the chin. God, who would have thought Hongjoong would have such a thick cock. It wasn’t the longest Seonghwa had seen, but it was thick and looked beautiful leaking precum right in front of his face. 

He wasted no time swallowing Hongjoong as far as he could go. Seonghwa was rather out of practice with being with a man, being over six years, but the sound Hongjoong let out fed his ego greatly. He heard the man apologize and say he stumped his toe against something, the phone call continuing as normal. Seonghwa wanted more, though. He wanted to hear Hongjoong cry, wanted to see him writhing underneath him as he came apart because of Seonghwa’s mouth. 

It was getting hard to breath under the blanket, the heat coming from Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s panting making it hot and humid. But Seonghwa liked the idea of getting Hongjoong off while he was on a business call, his assistant none the wiser to what was happening to his boss as they talked. Seonghwa tried hard to get Hongjoong to make noise, and when he sucked one of Hongjoong’s balls into his mouth harshly pulled a high pitched whine, it felt euphoric. 

Hongjoong’s other hand came under the blanket, grabbing Seonghwa’s hair and pushing him down rather hard, making Seonghwa choke immediately. He didn’t let Seonghwa go for several seconds, making him gag, his throat spasming around Hongjoong’s cock. When Hongjoong loosened his grip, Seonghwa pulled off, tears streaming down his face and spit dripping out of his mouth. He coughed several times but smiled, realizing that Hongjoong must have done that to punish him for trying to get Hongjoong to make noise. 

That really just made him want to try again, but before he had the chance, the blankets were removed from on top of Seonghwa, the fresh air feeling wonderful as he filled his lungs. Hongjoong was looking down at him, phone thrown to the side, his conversation done for now. But the man's eyes were dark and hooded, completely different from when Hongjoong was down on his knees for him. “You can’t fucking wait ten minutes?”

Seonghwa shivered at how mean Hongjoong sounded, the words making Seonghwa groan as he moved back in, Hongjoong’s cock completely covered in spit, precum, and tears. But the hand in his hair tightened, keeping him from what he wanted most. “Look at you, I didn’t even have to do anything and you’re a fucking mess.”

“Joong,” Seonghwa said, his eyes hazy, staring up at the blond. “Please.”

“Does my baby want a reward after making me moan while on the phone? Do you think that’s okay? That’s not polite. I work so hard and you couldn’t even be good and just stuff your mouth silently until I was done.”

The image of Seonghwa sitting under Hongjoong’s desk at Utopia came to his mind, mouth open, jaw relaxed as he cock warmed Hongjoong. It was not something Seonghwa really thought about doing, but it was something that he would love to do in the future. He wondered how much Hongjoong would be able to get done when every time he looked down, Seonghwa was there, mouth full, keeping him nice and warm—

“And now you’re drifting off. It makes me think you don’t even deserve my cock,” Hongjoong said, slapping it twice against Seonghwa’s face. “On the floor. Now.”

Seonghwa immediately scrambled to the floor, his slacks bunching up around his thighs to accommodate how he sat on the floor, knees bent, legs spread. His cock was pressed hard against the zipper, the texture painful even with the cloth of his underwear between. But how could he even think about himself when Hongjoong stood in front of him, pants half off and cock hard and leaking in front of him? 

His head was fuzzy and warm as Hongjoong stepped forward, the tip of his cock sliding into Seonghwa’s mouth easily. He moaned, wrapping his tongue around the head immediately. Hongjoong hissed above him, but didn’t stop pushing until he hit the back of Seonghwa’s throat, the click sounding delicious as he pushed forward a few more times. 

“Make me come, baby. No hands, put that mouth to good use,” Hongjoong said lowly, his hand gripping Seonghwa’s long hair, not necessarily pulling hard, but just tight enough to control Seonghwa whenever he wanted.

Seonghwa eagerly obeyed. Hongjoong was going to let Seonghwa help him finish? How could he complain as he sucked and choked. The sound was obscene and Hongjoong couldn’t keep his mouth shut, always babbling about how good and warm Seonghwa’s mouth felt. 

“God, this mouth is unreal. I can’t believe you feel this good. Work for my cum, baby. You don’t get it for free.”

Seonghwa groaned, the vibrations making Hongjoong tighten his hold, but before Seonghwa could continue, he felt the first taste of salt on his tongue and Hongjoong slammed his cock to the back of Seonghwa’s throat, making him choke on every last drop as he struggled to swallow around the thick head.

When Hongjoong let Seonghwa go, he couldn’t stop coughing, spit falling out of his mouth as he tried to catch his breath. Hongjoong bent down, grabbing Seonghwa’s chin and making him look up. “Good job, baby.”

The praise went straight to his dick, along with how ruined Hongjoong looked. His face was flushed, eyes wild, and a smile peeked through. Seonghwa thought he never looked so beautiful. 

“You’re so messy, we need to get cleaned up,” Hongjoong said, swiping a finger across Seonghwa’s bottom lip. “I do have to work, but you can come with me if you want.”

Seonghwa hummed, his mind still blissfully empty except for the feeling of his cock still straining against his now ruined slacks. He started rocking against the floor, just to relieve some of the pressure. Hongjoong seemed to notice the movement, pulling him from the floor to sit him on his knee. “Ride my thigh, baby. Quickly, or you won’t get to come.” 

The groan Seonghwa let out at the pressure of Hongjoong’s strong thigh under him felt amazing. Hongjoong’s hands were on his hips, helping him move with at least a little rhythm. He started sobbing, the pressure not enough. Hongjoong kissed his neck, before he started whispering empty praises. At a particularly rough bite on his shoulder, Seonghwa came with a loud whine. Hongjoong held his hips still, not letting him ride the high very long. 

“Joong,” Seonghwa gasped, digging his nails into Hongjoong’s shoulders. “Please—”

“You weren’t quick enough. Why would I reward you if you didn’t listen to me?”

Seonghwa dropped his head to the shoulder in front of him with a loud sigh, feeling very unfulfilled and upset that he couldn’t do what Hongjoong asked. Hongjoong rubbed his hands up and down Seonghwa’s sides until he started becoming uncomfortable in his soiled pants and started squirming. Hongjoong slowly pushed him off, making sure he was steady before letting go. “Go take your shower first, baby. I need to make one more phone call before we leave.”

Seonghwa’s head swam with regret as he stumbled to the bathroom. Each step felt heavier, dragging him further into the dark of his own poor judgement and self loathing. He peeled off his clothes, throwing them in a pile in the corner. 

He stepped into the shower without waiting for the water to warm, the icy spray a jarring shock to his system. A gasp escaped his lips. God, he was so stupid. How could he have been so reckless? The memory of his hands on Hongjoong, the weight of his cock in his mouth, the quiet gasps, the moans. The memory kept replaying in his head, over and over again. He squeezed his eyes shut, holding his breath until his lungs felt like they were going to explode. 

This was twice now, where he’d given in to his desires, his emotions. Twice where he’d passed Hongjoong’s boundaries. They decided against anything romantic, and he really fucked that up. The realization hit him like a physical blow. He had acted selfishly and in the process, probably fucked up the one relationship that he never wanted to end.

The cold water did nothing to wash the shame that radiated off of him, the cold more like a punishment than an annoyance at this point. He stood under the cold spray, no longer happy about the waterfall shower, but not giving himself the comfort of warm water.

“Seonghwa-ya, are you almost done? I laid out an outfit for you on your bed that I brought.”

He didn’t want to get out. He didn’t want to face the man that he took advantage of. But he couldn’t hide in here forever, Hongjoong had work and Seonghwa couldn’t keep getting in the way of the one thing Seonghwa was supposed to be helping with. Seonghwa called back, turning the water off and drying himself in the process. He really needed to get his shit together. 

When he left the bathroom, Hongjoong was sitting back on the loveseat with his now cold coffee in one hand and Seonghwa’s phone in the other, raised up and smiling softly at it. Hongjoong looked up and motioned for Seonghwa to come over. “Your son called and I figured you wouldn’t want to miss it,” Hongjoong said as Seonghwa sat beside him, their thighs and shoulders brushing.

Bonhwa was smiling widely, the camera going out of focus as Bonhwa started running. “Uncle Yeo, Dad is here!” It took all of Seonghwa to not drop his smile. He really didn’t need Yeosang evaluating his every move right now. 

Yeosang was in their kitchen, obviously still tired as he poured coffee into a mug. “Good morning, hyung. Hongjoong-ssi.”

“I’m going to take a quick shower, take your time with the call, we’ll leave when you’re done,” Hongjoong said softly, excusing himself from the conversation, Bonhwa fought a little but Yeosang distracted him easily. 

“Bon, why don’t you go get your drawings that you worked on last night with San?”

The boy ran off immediately, setting the phone on the counter and Seonghwa was ready to use his robe to hide. Yeosang was always someone who could read Seonghwa like an open book and with the glimpses he caught of the man, Seonghwa knew that Yeosang was tense, his body moving as he took the phone in his hand, a frown on his face.

“What’s going on with you?”

Fuck. Seonghwa knew this would happen. “What do you mean? There’s not anything going on.”

“I haven’t known you for as long as Wooyoung, but I have known you for eight years and you always avoid me when you’re hiding something.”

“Yeah, because you read me like a book and it’s scary,” Seonghwa mumbled.

“So tell me why you’re lying about dating my boss.”

Seonghwa physically jolted. He didn’t think that Yeosang would come straight out and say it, but honestly, he shouldn’t have thought it would happen any other way. “I'm not dating your boss.”

“Yeah, that's not what is being said on social media, from an interview of Hongjoong saying that his date tonight inspired the entire show and then it flashing to a clip of you and him. Imagine my surprise when I looked over to Wooyoung and he didn’t even look surprised.”

“I didn’t want you to feel awkward that I went on a few dates with him–”

“A few dates? Seonghwa, he looks at you like you hung the fucking moon. You inspired his entire collection. What the fuck?”

“I’m sorry, Yeo,” Seonghwa said softly. “There’s more to it than that. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable since you have been keeping your relationship with Woo and San a secret–”

“Woo isn’t a secret. I was just omitting information,” Yeosang snapped.

Seonghwa is surprised by the sudden outburst, his usually calm friend slipping. “Yeo–”

“This isn’t about me. How long? I didn’t even see you talk with Hongjoong at the gala.”

Seonghwa thought back to when he matched with Hongjoong, that day engraved in his head. “September is when we started,” Seonghwa paused. Started what? A sugar relationship? That was true, but what was it now? They both skewed that line this past week, and he really didn’t understand anymore and he wasn’t ready to tell Yeosang the arrangement. “We’re not dating. He’s my friend. We’re helping each other out. It’s temporary."

“You decided to introduce someone temporary to your son who is already having abandonment issues?”

Seonghwa felt his heart clench painfully. His eyes welled up with tears immediately, but he hardened his face. “That was uncalled for Yeosang, and you know it. You know I trust you with my entire being, enough to leave my son with you while I’m in another country. I don’t know what has gotten into you, but I can introduce my son to whomever I want. Tell Bonhwa to send me photos of his drawings. I’ve gotta go.”

Yeosang opened his mouth, but Seonghwa ended the video call, taking a deep breath as a few tears fell. As he stood he turned to see Hongjoong standing in the doorway of the bathroom, wet hair stuck to his forehead, robe tied loosely around his waist, barely covering anything, but not like that really mattered now that they both have seen each other. “How much did you hear?”

“I thought you told your friends about us?” 

Seonghwa leaned back, closing his eyes and trying to focus on no more tears leaving his eyes. “Only Wooyoung. Yeosang and San just think I met someone recently and have been dating them. No one knows about our arrangement. And now that everything is very public, they’re hurt that I didn’t tell them who.”

Hongjoong walked over, leaning over the back of the loveseat, his hair dripping around Seonghwa’s face as he dragged a finger across Seonghwa’s cheek. “I’m sorry for not telling you about the plan.”

 It took all of Seonghwa’s strength to not lean into the touch. “It would have been nice to know, but I get it. It’s a good advertisement plan. Ruffle some feathers or whatever. Yeosang just… has some trauma with people knowing certain things.”

Hongjoong sighed, wiping a stray droplet of water that fell on Seonghwa’s cheek. “Is there anything I could do to help?” 

There was no way Seonghwa was about to air out the thruples relationship. Even though Seonghwa knew that Hongjoong wouldn’t care and would make sure Yeosang still got jobs. That wasn’t his to tell, he was just glad the four of them were close enough that those three didn’t look like they were dating on a regular basis. Seonghwa shook his head and sighed as Hongjoong bent all the way down, kissing Seonghwa’s forehead softly. The feeling was nice and something he wished he could have all the time. 

“I’m going to get dressed. You should do the same,” Hongjoong said, abruptly straightening up and rushing to his room. As soon as the door closed, Seonghwa felt tears well up. He didn’t have time to sort through all the feelings in his head, in his heart. He felt hollow as he pulled on the outfit Hongjoong laid out for him, not taking the time to appreciate the soft sweater or nice slacks. He just slipped them on before running a hand through his hair and calling it good. His mind really was his worst nightmare at times. 

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

They found themselves on the grand Avenue of the Elysian Fields, a broad street adorned with magnificent buildings and decorations. As they strolled along the spacious sidewalk, people were either browsing in shops or enjoying steaming drinks and pastries at outdoor tables. He regretted not having visited sooner, numerous cafes and boutiques piqued his interest. Hongjoong guided him towards an unmarked storefront.

When they walked in, the store was full of clothes piled everywhere with no rhyme or reason, but Seonghwa recognized a few of Hongjoong’s pieces hanging up from the show two days before. Hongjoong was greeted as soon as they walked in, and the work No1LikeMe persona took over in an instant, the only thing Seonghwa got before he walked away was a graze of the man's hand on his waist as he moved to the back without a second look. 

Now he was left alone, with only a few workers in the front room arranging garments. He really didn’t want to stand there awkwardly watching these people do their jobs. So he decided to leave, walking a few stores down to a cafe he saw had cakes on display. The cakes were all beautifully made and perfectly cut, but he saw a red berry cake and knew he had to try it, getting a slice and taking it to sit outside. 

There was only a slight breeze as he sat down on the cushioned chair, he was expecting it to be colder like it has been, but Seonghwa was pleasantly surprised by how mild the weather actually was. He took a photo of the cake and sent it to the group chat before taking a bite of the fluffy cloud. 

Wooyoung

Send me some

San

Can you ship cake from Paris to Korea

Asking for a friend

Wooyoung 

Where are you rn?

Seonghwa

Avenue des Champs-Elysées

Wooyoung

Bougee

Seonghwa

Hongjoong had some work to do 

So I’m sight seeing

Wooyoung

With your mouth

Seonghwa

I’ll look at other shops as well

San

Speaking of Hongjoong

Are we gonna talk about how you’re DATING KIM HONGJOONG NUMBER ONE BACHELOR IN THE CITY OF SEOUL

Seonghwa

We aren’t dating

Just friends 

San

Ohh and we’re gonna be mysterious about it as well

Gotcha 

I can do that

Seonghwa

How’s Bonhwa

I miss him so much

And you guys too, I guess

Wooyoung

Okay sure

You miss us SO bad dont even try to deny that

He’s out with Yeosang right now

They went to your apartment so he could check on the kittens

Seonghwa smiled at that. He knew Bonhwa wouldn’t be able to leave the kittens for more than a few days at a time. He made sure to make a mental note to try to check on them every day and have it as a time for him and Bonhwa to spend some quality time together when they walked to and from school. 

Seonghwa

I’m glad he’s so invested

San

They are rather cute

We’ve been thinking about adopting one

Seonghwa 

They would be so spoiled

San

ฅ^>⩊<^ฅ

Seonghwa

Regrettably my cake is gone

I’m going to go fill the void with some shopping

I love you 

Wooyoung 

We love you too

Bring me back something expensive

Seonghwa 

No <3 

Seonghwa cleaned his spot up before continuing his walk, looking at several boutiques and even going into a few. He did end up buying San a fluffy sweater, Wooyoung baggy jeans, and Yeosang a jacket. Being able to buy something without the worry of not having enough money for rent next month felt freeing. 

As the day went on, the sun started lowering in the sky, streetlamps turned on and crowds thinned. He checked his phone several times throughout the day, but he received nothing from Hongjoong. Seonghwa felt… cast aside. Even though logically, yes, he knew he was just here to help Hongjoong with work. He was not Hongjoong’s partner. He had no right to be feeling upset about being forgotten all day.

But he did feel upset. He felt upset about many things as he made it back around to the cafe near the Utopia storefront. He noticed it was still open, the older woman still at the front, so he went back in and ordered the same cake taking it back out and munching on it slowly. 

He was stupid for thinking anything more could come of this. Stupid for letting his guard down, for indulging in the fleeting touches and whispered words. He was just a prop, a temporary distraction, and a marketing ploy. The tart taste of the cake did little to soothe the growing ache in his chest. He was getting exactly what he signed up for, wasn't he? So why did it hurt so much to be reminded of his place? 

“Seonghwa-ya.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes focused and he was met with a tired looking Hongjoong.

“Hi,” he replied, his heart squeezing in his chest. “How was work?”

“It was fine,” Hongjoong replied, his eyes sweeping over Seonghwa. “I see you found some things you liked.”

Seonghwa hummed, holding out a bite of cake to Hongjoong. “It’s all for my friends. I wanted to get them something more.”

Hongjoong leaned forward, taking the bite of cake, his eyes widening. “Wow, that’s amazing.”

“It’s my second slice,” Seonghwa said, setting the fork down. 

“Have you eaten any real food today?” 

“Have you?” Seonghwa countered.

“You got me there. Come on, let’s go for a walk and find something along the way.”

Seonghwa let Hongjoong carry his bags to a black car that was idling on the street, setting them in the backseat before waving the driver off, more than likely on his way to wherever Hongjoong kept everything to get flown back home. 

They walked in silence, Usually everything settled perfectly between them when words weren’t needed. But tonight, it felt different. A quiet melancholy hung in the cold air, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken things that lingered between the two. Seonghwa glanced at Hongjoong, who was staring ahead, his hands tucked into his pockets, his shoulders slumped ever so slightly. The vibrant energy that usually radiated from him seemed muted, replaced by a subtle weariness.

The glow of storefronts and streetlamps cast long, distorted shadows as they passed, each one seeming to stretch the silence even further. Seonghwa wanted to reach out, to break the silence with a question, a comfort, anything. But the words caught in his throat, held captive by his own conflicting emotions. He was angry at himself for being so stupid, at Hongjoong for his kindness, and at the strange, tangled web they had woven. Each restaurant they passed, with its cheerful lights and clinking cutlery, felt like a contrast to the heavy quiet surrounding them. They were looking for food, but it felt like they were searching for something else entirely, something that remained just out of reach.

“I’m sorry for leaving you alone all day today,” Hongjoong said as they walked by yet another restaurant that just didn’t feel right. 

“It’s okay—”

Hongjoong grabbed Seonghwa’s wrist, making them both stop in the middle of the sidewalk, people grumbling as they walked around. “Don’t say it’s okay, Hwa. I know it’s not.”

“I— Yeah. Today,” Seonghwa paused. “Today was okay, but I thought—” He trailed off, confused about his own feelings. "I thought you would at least text me," Seonghwa admitted, his voice quiet. He pulled his wrist free, rubbing at the spot where Hongjoong had held him. "You usually do."

Hongjoong sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know, baby. I just… I got caught up. It was a stressful day, and I wasn’t thinking. That’s not an excuse, though. I should have checked in. Especially after this morning. We never got to talk about the situation in bed. I was very dominant and never asked how you were feeling about the situation." He stepped closer, his hand reaching out, then pulling back, as if unsure if he should touch Seonghwa. "I messed up. I’m sorry."

Seonghwa looked up at him, a flicker of hope stirring in his chest. "You don’t have to apologize to me, Hongjoong-ah. This… this is a business deal, right? My feelings shouldn’t factor into it." The words tasted bitter on his tongue.

"But they do, don’t they, Hwa?" Hongjoong’s voice was barely a whisper. His eyes were dark, searching Seonghwa’s face. "Your feelings matter. More than you think." He took another hesitant step closer. "I don’t want to hurt you. Not like this."

The silence stretched between them again, thicker than before. Seonghwa’s heart hammered against his ribs. He wanted to believe Hongjoong, wanted to let himself fall into the comfort the man offered, but the earlier conversation with Yeosang, and his own recent realization, screamed at him to be careful.

"Let’s just… find something to eat," Seonghwa finally said, his voice strained. He couldn’t look at Hongjoong, afraid of what his own eyes might try to say. "I’m starving."

Hongjoong didn’t reply immediately, but Seonghwa felt his presence beside him as they slowly started walking again. The air still felt heavy, but a small part of Seonghwa hoped that Hongjoong truly meant what he said. That maybe, just maybe, his feelings did matter.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

They did eventually find dinner, a small family owned restaurant that took to them very quickly, telling them how cute they looked and gave them a free bottle of sweet wine on the house after Hongjoong ordered a vintage red from their menu that was quite pricey. Hongjoong took multiple photos of Seonghwa as they sipped on the wine, Seonghwa feeling better as the warmth from the alcohol shut down his mind. 

By the time they stumbled back to the hotel, the wine had thoroughly loosened Seonghwa’s limbs and lowered his inhibitions. He was laughing easily, leaning into Hongjoong’s side as they navigated the hallways. Hongjoong also seemed more relaxed, his earlier weariness replaced by a gentle, amused smile as he supported Seonghwa.

"I think I had too much," Seonghwa giggled, his words slightly slurred as they stepped into their suite.

Hongjoong chuckled, his arm still around Seonghwa’s waist. "You certainly did, baby. You were quite the charmer with the restaurant owners."

Seonghwa hummed, letting Hongjoong guide him to the loveseat. He flopped down, a contented sigh escaping him. "They were so sweet. And the wine was delicious."

"It was," Hongjoong agreed, sitting beside him, a comfortable silence settling between them. He reached out, gently pushing a strand of hair from Seonghwa’s face. "Are you ready for bed?"

Seonghwa met his gaze, the alcohol making him bold. "Only if you come too."

The air thickened, a familiar tension returning, but this time, it felt different. Less about apprehension and more about anticipation. Hongjoong’s eyes searched for something, maybe a way out, maybe forgiveness, Seonghwa didn’t know. All he wanted was for them to be okay and if they left Paris tomorrow with… whatever this was hanging over them, Seonghwa wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

"Hwa…" Hongjoong began, his voice low, a hint of warning to it.

Seonghwa, fueled by wine and a sudden surge of recklessness, reached out, his fingers tracing the line of Hongjoong’s jaw. "Just stay. We don’t have to do anything. Just… be here." The words were soft, a plea that felt raw and vulnerable.

Hongjoong’s hand came up, covering Seonghwa’s on his cheek, his thumb gently stroking. A long moment passed, filled only by the soft glow of the city lights filtering through the window and the rapid beat of Seonghwa’s heart.

Finally, Hongjoong leaned in, his lips brushing against Seonghwa’s forehead, then his temple. "Okay, baby," he murmured, his voice husky. "I’ll stay."

And he did. Seonghwa felt himself being lifted, Hongjoong carrying him effortlessly into his bedroom. He was gently laid on the bed, and Hongjoong quickly shed Seonghwa’s clothes, handing him a t-shirt and shorts before changing himself and sliding in beside Seonghwa.

Seonghwa instinctively curled into Hongjoong’s warmth, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Hongjoong’s arm wrapped around him, pulling him close, and Seonghwa felt so at peace in his arms. The shame from the morning, the confusion about their arrangement, all of it faded into the background, replaced by the simple, comforting presence of Hongjoong. He drifted off to sleep, feeling cherished, even if it was just for this one night.