Chapter 1: ONE
Chapter Text
I. Midoriya has created a group chat
I. Midoriya has renamed chat CLASS 1-GaY
I. Midoriya has added K. Bakugo and 19 others
I. Midoriya: I had the idea, Sensei Agreed. Moving on
I. Midoriya named M. Yaoyorozu an admin
K. Bakugo: This will be hell
T. Ilda: Midoriya! I commend you for your forward thinking!
This will be a great way for us to communicate school and heroics related information quickly.
We should not clog chat with pointless chatter.
D. Kaminari: Is he for real?
Has he met us?
K. Jiro: Apparently not.
K. Bakugo: Fucking dumbass
T: Ilda: Bakugo!
M. Yaoyorozu: I can't exactly disagree.
You're being naive Ilda.
You should know our classmates by now.
T. Ilda: Yaoyorozu! You too!?
Midoriya, please tell me you will not allow such behavior.
I. Midoriya changed T. Ilda to Vroom
K. Bakugo: HA!
I. Midoriya changed K. Bakugo to BoomBitch
...
BoomBitch: It's fucking on
BoomBitch changed I. Midoriya to NerdShit
NerdShit: Bitch
D. Kaminari: Mido curses!?
NerdShit changed D. Kaminari to PikaShit
NerdShit: Frequently
:)
K. Jiro: Huh
NerdShit changed E. Kirishima to ManlyRock
NerdShit changed M. Ashido to GossipWhore
NerdShit changed H. Sero to RopeBunny
GossipWhore: To accept, or to be mad
RopeBunny: I-
Okay
NerdShit changed M. Shoji to CatchTheseHands
NerdShit changed M. Yaoyorozu to Goddess
Goddess: Aw!
Thank you, Midoriya!
NerdShit: Only the best for my vp
NerdShit changed K. Jiro to GoddessSimp
GoddessSimp: Fucker
PikaShit: What is even happening?!
BoomBitch: You fuckers are screwed
NerdShit changed T. Hagakure to lurker
lurker: I'll take it
NerdShit changed O. Uraraka to GravityWho?
NerdShit changed T. Asui to ribbitch
ribbitch: Nice. Ribbit
GoddessSimp: She ribbits
Over text
GossipWhore: SO CUTE!
NerdShit changed M. Ojiro to MonkeyMan
NerdShit changed F. Tokoyami to EmoBirb
NerdShit changed Y. Aoyama to Sparkles
Sparkles: Oui mon ami ✨
NerdShit changed M. Mineta to TrashHeap
NerdShit changed S. Todoroki to PrinceZuko
TrashHeap: HEY!
PrinceZuko: May I just-
PrinceZuko changed name to PrincessZuko
PrincessZuko: Better
RopeBunny: That's hot
TrashHeap: What the fuck Todoroki!?
You're kidding!
PrincessZuko: About?
My name is serious
I don't understand the joke.
GossipWhore: Don't you worry, sweetie
Mineta's being horrible again
PrincessZuko: Ah
Should I call my brother to cremate him?
Vroom: I thought your brother has an ice quirk.
Does he not?
PrincessZuko: He does.
Vroom: ...
TrashHeap: You're the one who needs to burn you fucking faggot!
Disgusting unnatural creep!
BoomBitch: Who the fuck do you think you're talking to asswipe!?
NerdShit: Kat. I got it.
Mineta, I'm gay.
TrashHeap: You fucking nasty unnatural slut!
NerdShit: Too easy
@S. Aizawa
S. Aizawa: Huh. It worked.
I didn't think it would.
NerdShit: Oh ye of little faith
S. Aizawa: Mineta, you're expelled
Pack your shit.
I want you out by morning.
TrashHeap: You can't expel me!
NerdShit: Get out or I leak the contents of your phone everywhere
TrashHeap has left chat
S. Aizawa: What's on his phone?
NerdShit: Porn, sex tapes, creepy ass notes about the girls in class, pictures of over a hundred girls in their bedrooms, texts between him and other people.
I already sent it all to Nezu.
lurker: How?
NerdShit: I hacked his phone.
Anyway, brb.
Chapter 2: TWO
Summary:
A little Todoroki chaos? Why not?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
BAKUDORIYAS! (RUN IN FEAR!)
Shithead: @Dickhead
I need some help
Dickhead is online
Dickhead: What is it, Son?
HOEDEROKIS HAVE BEEN SPOTTED!
Bitch: I like getting people in trouble
I just got someone expelled
It was very satisfying
Cunt, Dick, and Ass or online
Cunt: Shoto, what?
Ass: I don't even-
Dick: What the fuck, kid?
Bitch: Queerphobic asshole who was also gross and super inappropriate with all the girl in class
Ass: Carry on then
Dick: Good job, Soba
Cunt: I'll allow it
But Sho-
Ass: Mother Yumi in the house
Cunt: Shut up Nat!
Dick: So, how'd you manage it, Sho?
Bitch: With Zu's help.
Ass: That broccoli scares me
Bitch: I used a fem gc name and Zu went "I'm gay" and made the asshole loose it and we called Sensei
And that's not even the best part!
A cute guy called me hot!
Ass: Aw, that's great Sho
Dick: Wanna tell us about him?
Bitch: When you admit you're fucking Hawks.
Dick: I'M NOT FUCKING HAWKS!
Cunt: Even I don't believe that, Touya.
Bitch: Maybe Hawks fucks him
Ass: That bird is way too much of a bottom
Cunt: Meh
Toy gives bottom energy
Dick: Cunt
Cunt: That is my name, yes
Ass: I fucking love you, Yumi
Cunt: I know
Now go study for that test.
Ass: Yes, Mother
Ass is offline
Dick: I'm going to vandalise father-dear's agency
You want in, Soba?
Bitch: Tempting
But there's this thing where we all have to be in our dorms by nine soooooo
Pass
Send pics though!
Dick: Sure thing, kid
Dick and Bitch are offline
Cunt: My brothers are idiots
Notes:
In case it wasn't obvious,
Cunt-Fuymui
Dick-Touya
Bitch-Shoto
Ass-NatsuoThank you so much for the comments, hits, and kudos! It fuels my mania! Chapter 3 is coming Monday!
Chapter 3: THREE
Summary:
In which Izuku has no filter, Aizawa is regretting life choices, 1-A is wholesome trouble, and a frog gains a personal furnace.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
CLASS 1-GAY
NerdShit: I can't sleep
I don't know why I bother
I've slept like once a week since USJ
GoddessSimp: Fat mood
PrincessZuko: Come get cuddles, Zu
At least you won't be alone
NerdShit: Sure
@BoomBitch coming?
BoomBitch is online
BoomBitch: Tch. Fuckers.
lurker: Ignoring you three getting together for cuddles
Are you going to change your name, Todoroki?
PrincessZuko: Why
I'm xe/she/he
NerdShit: OH!
@everyone
Get your asses online 'cause you fucks know you ain't sleeping
Bet ever Ilda's up, waiting to scold us for being awake while he's awake
Vroom: Preposterous!
Though you should be asleep.
RopeBunny: Bruh
PikaShit: You did exactly what Midoriya said!
Vroom: I-
I see my mistake.
Goddess: This is entertaining.
Why did you call us, Midoriya?
PrincessZuko: Give him a moment.
He's getting comfortable.
GossipWhore: In your room~
BoomBitch: Fucking QPR Racoon Eyes
NerdShit: :D
As I was saying
PRONOUN CHECK!
xe/he/it
BoomBitch: Fucking figures you would, Otaku
they/sun/he
ribbitch: she/frog/it/they
Why sun? Ribbit.
BoomBitch: The nerd called me his fucking sun
The shit stuck
Goddess: she/her
I'm making a spreadsheet
It will have chat names, real names, and pronouns
NerdShit: Thanks hun
Vroom: This is a fantastic idea!
He/him
PikaShit: Aw @BoomBitch that's sweet!
He/she/they and genderfluid
Dominant pronouns vary
BoomBitch: SHUT THE FUCK UP DUNCE!
GossipWhore: So, what's dom now?
She/it btw
PikaShit: ...she/he
GoddessSimp: she/they
RopeBunny: I'll use anything
Don't care that much as long as you don't call me a pussy
ManlyRock: Bro! Come on!
he/they
RopeBunny: It's true
EmoBirb: they/them nb
Shadow prefers she/her
Goddess: Noted
lurker: They/she
We're all over the place
GravityWho?: Uh-huh
she/her
CatchTheseHands: He/him
MonkeyMan: Same^
He/him
Cis het, but an ally
BoomBitch: Tch. Basic.
NerdShit: Katsu, play nice.
BoomBitch: Whatever
Sparkles: fae/faer ofc ✨
GoddessSimp: That checks out
Goddess: I'm only missing Aizawa
But I'm sure Sensei's asleep
NerdShit: Not!
@Si. Aizawa
Spill the beans
S. Aizawa: he/they
I appreciate you asking
Goddess: Of course!
NerdShit changed S. Aizawa to SexySensei
GossipWhore: SHAMELESS MUCH!
NerdShit: Am I wrong!
ribbitch: I'm a gay frog and I can see it
It's hard to miss how attractive Sensei is. Ribbit
MonkeyMan: I don't see it
ribbitch: You're blind as fuck
BoomBitch: ...
I FUCKING LOVE THIS FROG!
Zuku-
NerdShit: You're not fucking kidnapping her and making frog your pet
We talked about this.
PrincessZuko: @ribbitch you can join us in my dorm
ribbitch: Is sun warm?
PrincessZuko: Very
ribbitch: Hm
PikaShit: Sensei stunned speechless
GravityWho?: Legit!
SexySensei: Midoriya
GossipWhore: Xe in trouble
lurker: I sense the vicious glee, Mina
GossipWhore: Yup!
...
SexySensei: Midoriya
ManlyRock: Bakubro, Midobro, Todobro, and Tsubro are kinda quiet
ribbitch: [Picture of Tsu leaning back against Katsuki's chest while Izuku is curled into Shoto's side from between Shoto and Katsuki who seem to be arguing about something while Izuku and Tsu laugh]
Sun's very warm
RopeBunny: HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD!?
GravityWho?: DO I NEED TO COME SAVE YOU!?
ribbitch: No. Ribbit.
I'm quite comfortable.
Sun says I'm their pet
I don't care as long as I get more cuddles, ribbit.
EmoBirb: Madness
ribbitch: I'm coldblooded
I like warmth
Ribbit
lurker: As long as you don't mind
NerdShit: That's what we said
Sometimes you just need to let Kat have his way
SexySensei: Midoriya
GravityWho?: You're in trouble
NerdShit: Nothing new there
What'd I do this time?
?
SexySensei: Detention
Now
NerdShit: Much as I hate disobeying authority figures
RopeBunny: Sarcasm anyone?
NerdShit: It's almost midnight and we aren't allowed to leave
SexySensei: Fine
Tomorrow then
NerdShit: Sure Boss
Notes:
Do you guys want me to make the spreadsheet Goddess mentions? It will contain all of the characters that appear over the course of this story.
Thank you so much for the love, guys! Warms my cold, dead heart.
Chapter 4: FOUR
Summary:
Aizawa wants to quit.
Maijima wants to quit.
Nezu's a rat.
Nemuri and Hizashi are just having fun.
Notes:
I felt like being nice. Here's two in one day!
Chapter Text
WHY ARE WE TEACHERS
Caterpillar: I quit
RatGod: Denied
Autotune: WHAT NOW, SHO!?
Censored: Bakugo blow something up again?
Caterpillar: This whole class is fucking insane
[Screenshots of CLASS 1-GAY chat from Shota's name change to "Sure Boss"]
What the fuck?
Censored: I fucking love that broccoli
StickMight: Young Midoriya would never!
Caterpillar: Would and did
Censored: I didn't know the cutie had it in him
Frankenstein is online
Frankenstein: I quit
RatGod: Denied
Caterpillar: You too?
Frankenstein: Hatsume blew up the fucking support labs AGAIN!
HelmetHair: How many time is that?
Frankenstein: 21
Bullseye: Well, hell
'Raser gets hit on
You get explosions
HelmetHair: Life ain't fair
ScoobyDoo: I'm sorry, Aizawa
You're a healthy, attractive man
Obviously single
You teach people in their early 20s
And this generation doesn't hold back
PsychoGranny is online
PsychoGranny: He needs to take better care of himself
A partner will get them something to live for
PsychoGranny is offline
Autotune: Driveby
Go Granny
StickMight: But why young Midoriya?
I don't like it
Censored: Why not?
He seems interested
Is just Shota's type
They'd be perfect together
BloodBag: Midoriya's a student!
RatGod: We have an open policy, Kan
As long as it's consensual they won't be breaking any laws or rules
Censored: Great!
Time to get them together!
Caterpillar: Do I get a say in this?
Autotune: NO!
ScoobyDoo: You need someone to motivate you to care for yourself, Shota
Midoriya can do that
You have no one, so you recklessly throw yourself into danger
Caterpillar: Stop psychoanalyzing me
I'm fine
Caterpillar is offline
Censored: ...
We're getting them together
Autotune: Yup!
Who cares what Sho says!?
StickMight: I do not like this.
Censored: Good thing no one asked you.
Chapter Text
CLASS 1-GAY
NerdShit: Hey
Is sensei looking at me weird?
RopeBunny: Yup
GravityWho?: Yup
GoddessSimp: Uh...
Isn't he in this chat?
BoomBitch: Fucking hobo left chat last night, Ears
Zuku, what the hell do you expect!?
YOU WERE FUCKING FLIRTING WITH HIM!
NerdShit: A) Not a hobo. He's too sexy.
B) I wasn't flirting!
ribbitch: You were flirting
GossipWhore: Totally flirting
Sparkles: ✨Oui✨
PikaShit: That was what we call casual flirting
Vroom is online
Vroom: Put your phones away!
Sensei won't be happy!
NerdShit: When is he ever?
Did anyone else see Shinso checking out Kami?
PikaShit: So I wasn't imagining it!?
GoddessSimp: Nope.
He was ripping your clothes off and burning them to shreds with his eyes
PikaShit: AH!
Wha?
RopeBunny: Kami dude, you good?
GossipWhore: SHE'S SO RED!
PikaShit: Ack!
He's so hot!
GravityWho?: Gay panic time
PikaShit: Guys
He's so tall and fit
And he looks so fucking intense
He'll get me to behave with a look
He's step on me and I'd say thank you
lurker: Oof
This gp is heavy
Baby's got it bad
NerdShit: AND HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING TO KAMI!
BoomBitch: YOU CAN'T FUCKING TALK NERD!
YOU'VE BEEN DUCKING SIMPING FOR ERASERHEAD!
FOR SIX YEARS!
ManlyRock: ducking
GossipWhore: ducking
lurker: ducking
ribbitch: ducking
BoomBitch: FROG!?
ribbitch: sorry not sorry, sun
BoomBitch: Bitch.
NerdShit: Okay, you may have a point
But like-
HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?!
HE'S SO FUCKING FINE!
like daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmn
GravityWho?: Double gay panic
PikaShit: ...
NerdShit: Shut it, Chako
RopeBunny: Guys...
We're being stared at!
ANGRY SENSEI!
Notes:
Thank you so much for all the comments, love, and support! I really appreciate it, you guys.
Chapter 6: SIX
Summary:
Let's expose some bitches soft sides!
Chapter Text
CLASS 1-GAY -Three hours later
PikaShit: Think Mido will survive detention?
BoomBitch: Crazy ass nerd is in fucking heaven
Xe'll come back laughing and turned on
GossipWhore: THE TEA!
You really don't care about exposing Midobabe, do you?
BoomBitch: Fuck no!
BoomBitch is offline
RopeBunny: Wow
PrincessZuko: He does that.
I've known Izuku and Katsuki for thirteen years
We met as the park as kids and stayed friends.
Zu and I have been together for four years.
Their love still shocks me some times.
They tell each other everything
Build each other up
Tear each other down
And are always there for each other
They chat about crushes in way too much detail with no filter and it's the funniest thing
They're so random it's adorable.
They'll expose each other and be assholes
But if anyone else tries it, they go in protective mode.
It's just how it is.
I'm sure Tsu noticed last night
ribbitch: I did. Ribbit.
Sun and Izuku were mean, but loving. They let Shoto too.
PrincessZuko: And you.
Kat let you in, Tsu.
You're a part of our tiny group now
ribbitch: Really? Ribbit.
BoomBitch is online
BoomBitch: Fucking yes
BoomBitch is offline
PikaShit: Woah
GoddessSimp: Yeah. Woah.
PrincessZuko: Mhm
If you'll excuse me, my brothers are being morons again
PrincessZuko is offline
Goddess: I thought xe only has one brother
Vroom: As did I.
Chapter 7: SEVEN
Summary:
More Todoroki chaos? Why not.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Hoedorokis Have Been Spotted!
Cunt: @Bitch
!
Back me up here!
Bitch is online
Bitch: What did they do this time?
Dick: GEEZ!
You didn't have to call xem
It's not that big of a deal
Cunt: Bullshit!
Ass: It really isn't that bad
You're making a big stink out of nothing
Cunt: LIES!
Bitch: I repeat, what did they do this time?
Cunt: Not only did Touya trash Father's agency, but everything involving him! And Natsuo helped!
Dick: How do you call the flaming bag of dog shit that seriously?
I'd break out in hives.
Ass: Fr^
Bitch: Hush
Cunt: The grown ups are talking
Dick: The fuck!?
I'm 6 min and 19 sec older than you!
Cunt: Shush
Ass: Ha
Bitch: I see nothing wrong with what they did
Cunt: SHOTO!
Ass: HA!
Dick: Nice one, kid
Bitch: I still want pictures
Ass: On it
Cunt: I can't believe you
Ass: How, after so many years, is this not normal to you?
Even before we got Touya back, Sho-Sho and I were always like this, Yumi.
Dick: You were?
Bitch: ofc
Cunt: WELL SORRY FOR WANTING OUT FAMILY BACK!
Bitch: You, don't you get it?
We are a family. The four of us.
Ass: And Mom if she ever gets out of the loony bin.
Bitch: We finally have Touya back and are happier than ever
Dick: Soba and I'll never forgive him, Yumi
Or want anything to do with him
We can't
Bitch: Not after what he did to us
Ass: He completely neglected me. Still does.
And he uses you like a slave, Yumi
Cunt: I just want our family to be whole again
Bitch: We know
Dick: But we can't have that
Cunt: I'll try to understand better
So, your disrespect and mockery of him is how you channel your pain, isn't it?
Ass: Pretty much...
Dick: Yeah.
Bitch: Yup!
Shit. I have to go.
I'm pretty sure the Pomeranian blew someone up again
Love you guys!
Dick: Where's suns usual keeper?
Bitch: Detention for calling sensei sexy. Right to sensei.
Dick: I fucking love that broccoli
Bitch: I do too
Bitch is offline
Notes:
I made a discord server! Welcome to hell, guys! https://discord.gg/eh7qqtjKkJ