Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tenna was sad. He frowned sadly. Spamton divorced him for the 92636th time and took the pipis. His tail wrapped around his body, offering a small modicum of comfort.

The Smiling Friends broke his door down and started yelling at him to smile.

"You're so funny and handsome, ahaha, don't frown," Pim said.

"Yeah, you're like the coolest TV I know, dude. You don't need that puppet, whatever his name was," Charlie added.

"Yeah, what they said," Allan said.

Glep glepped all over the place. Everyone nodded in agreement. Truly some wise words were said.

"Thank you, everyone! I feel so happy now, you really are the Smiling Friends," Tenna smiled and everyone cheered. A flower bloomed at the end of his nose, and he grew so his head nearly hit the ceiling. His antenna and tail curled into a heart shape to show his growing hope for life.

"Good job everyone! Another happy customer!" Mr. Boss exclaimed.

💃 🕺 DANCE PARTY 🕺 💃

Music from the classic show TV Time! played from Tenna's speakers.

Tenna swung his arms in a circle, doing his classic TV Time jig. His tail whipped back and forth with glee.

Pim threw his arms in the air, almost like he didn't care, and jumped around.

Charlie bopped his head to the music, trying and succeeding in looking cool.

Allan stood in the corner, trying hard to maintain his cool, bad boy image. It was shattered by his foot tapping in beat with the music.

Charlie and Pim looked at Allan with knowing eyes, and Pim mimed a rope to pull him into the center. Allan sighed and rolled his eyes before joining the others in the center of the room. He still only tapped his foot, but he had a smile on his face.

Glep glepped all over the place. He glepped too hard and killed an innocent bystander. Whoops.

Mr. Boss copied Ralsei's dance, also lesser known as one of the Peanuts' dances.

They all danced the night away, having the night of their lives!

Chapter Text

Spamton cradled the pipis, wondering how he ended up in the dump. He used to be important and famous, he used to be [BIG]! Now he's just another discarded puppet for some unknowable higher power. Too broken to be fun to play with, his strings cut and jaw broken into an eternal, mocking smile. The invisible strings no longer made him dance and sing a tune of success, nor did they dig and cut into his artificial limbs. No, they hung limply, loosely wrapped around him and catching on any inconvenience to slow him down.

Even in Castle Town Spamton couldn't have a fresh start. Too many Cyber City darkners inhabited the town, and all they knew him as was the [Freak] who crashed and burned after being a [[BIG SHOT]] and now lived in the dump. Even the ever stoic and mild mannered [[Easels]] wouldn't tolerate his presence anymore. Not after trying and failing to break into Queen's mansion and basement so many times. Speaking of, who even knew what Queen thought about him, she was a [Freak] in her own right, but she had power and success Spamton could only dream of. There was no way she would be willing to help him get on his feet, not that he would ever ask. And why would he ask? No one could help him now, not even...

He could only rely on himself in this world, after the [LIGHT nERS] cut his strings and set him "free." No benefactor to aid him, no ... co-host to give him purpose. He had tried again and again to come back from his fall, even giving better [Deals] to people he knew could pay full price. Yet nothing could get him out of the grave he dug for himself. It seemed he was destined to fall, again and again and [AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGA-]

He missed being a [[BIG SHOT]].

He missed feeling wanted.

He missed Tenna.

Spamton shook his head, clearing the visual snow starting to fog up his glasses. He didn't want to think about that darkner right now.

"Hey, uh, puppet guy? Are you Spamton?" A drawling voice echoed behind him, coming from the entrance to the alleyway Spamton's dumpster was in. "Some TV guy wanted us to check up on you, see if we could make you smile."

Did Tenna send someone to check on him? Their 92,636th divorce was so recent, why would he even care how Spamton was doing? HE was the one to initiate the divorce this time, after all. Spamton had initiated most of the ones before that, but who was keeping track at this point?

But this was some random guy, Tenna couldn't even come see him in person?! Spamton clutched the pipis closer before turning around, ready for a potential prank or worse.

~~~

Charlie didn't expect another job so soon, but he supposed the last one was pretty quick. That Tenna guy was pretty easy to please, and Glep especially helped cheer the guy up. Charlie still couldn't get over just how eloquent Glep could be. Hopefully he could help with this new assignment, which came from Tenna himself. Supposedly this guy's ex-husband had been having a pretty rough time and had even been living in a dumpster after their divorce. He also maybe had a kid? Tenna said he had a pipis, whatever that was, but he said Spamton got custody, which made it sound like a kid.

As they got closer to where Tenna said Spamton lived, he could definitely tell it was a rougher area. Castle Town in general was really nice, but these back alleys and side streets further from the castle looked a little worse for wear. Cracks in the pavement, moss growing in damp corners, and trash piles along the road. Eventually the group of Smiling Friends came to one particularly dingy alley and poked their heads in, only being able to make out a vague figure near the back corner. Charlie and Alan were hesitant to enter, while Glep refused entirely. Pim was the only one who seemed to not care their job took the group into an objectively disgusting place. He urged them all the crowd into the alley,

Pim nudged Charlie. "Hey, uh, puppet guy? Are you Spamton?" Silence. Pim nudged Charlie again. "Some TV guy wanted us to check up on you, see if we could make you smile."

At that, the figure shifted a little, cradling something close to its chest, defensive over what little it likely owns. Finally, it turned around.

It was a small puppet-like figure, with yellow and pink glasses, bright red cheeks, and a smile carved into its face. He fit the description Tenna gave the group, so that must be Spamton. And look at that, he was smiling already! He must be so happy to know Tenna cared enough to send people into the worst part of town just to check on him that the Smiling Friends didn't even need to do anything else!

Pim clapped his hands and hopped on his feet a bit, "Hooray, we made you smile!"

"Cool, that was easy," Charlie said, already starting to leave the alley.

From the distance, Glep glepping could be faintly heard.

Alan just sighed, then walked out of the alley to make sure Glep wasn't causing any trouble.

"Happy to help! Welp, nice seeing you, have a good one!" Pim waved before also exiting the alley.

~~~

Spamton couldn't believe what just happened. Some random [LIGHT nERS](?) burst into HIS alley and disrupt his precious peace and quiet?! The next time Spamton sees Tenna, he'll have to give him a piece of his mind for sending these [Freaks] his way.

He sat in silence for a second, contemplating whether it was even worth it to ask the remaining pink one for clarification or not. His hand shakily reached out, slipping away from the pipis still clutched in his other arm. As much as an annoyance as those people were, at least they were real. More real than his [Mattress sale now!] which was a pile of cardboard covered in moss, and more real than the [Beautiful skies today, folks] he painted over the dirty walls.

Suddenly, a shadow passed over the alley, extinguishing what little light there was and leaving Spamton in the [Dark, darker, yet darker]. A voice rang out, sounding like an [Angel] to the puppet.

"Are you in there, Spamton? I'm here to help you smile," Tenna's voice washed over Spamton like the wind during a ride on his [[Cungadero]], pushing all the bad thoughts away until all he could feel was the exhilaration. "The Smiling Friends said you had smiled already, but I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay, even if you probably didn't want to see me, with the divorce and all."

Spamton rose to his feet, a little unsteady from sitting for so long. He walked hesitatingly to the alley's entrance, running his hand along the wall for balance. Did Tenna really come all this way just to see if he was okay? Getting to the entrance, Spamton saw Tenna hunched over, brow creased with worry. He perked up once he saw Spamton, shooting up a couple inches and sporting a wide smile.

"There's my favorite mailman! I'm so glad you're okay, I was worried sick!" Tenna exclaimed, reaching towards Spamton, presumably for a hug.

How dare he. How DARE he think everything would be [Right as rain] just because he showed a little [You do care!]. How many times had they gone through this [Song and Dance] of theirs? Apparently 92,636 times, which was 92,635 times TOO MANY. They have their little lovebird era, showering each other in praise and gifts to fill the [VOID] in each of their hearts, then it all comes crashing down. They fight when they think the other doesn't love them enough, which was always with how insecure they both were, though only Spamton was able to admit that. Another common fight was [[CRT]] refusing to see any of his own flaws, always pushing the blame onto someone else, whether it be his crew, [Mike...], or even his own cohost and lover! They'd get sick of each other quickly, file for divorce like it was just another show to put on, get over their little spat, and get back together like nothing had ever happened. Well, Spamton was SICK OF IT! He couldn't go through all this again, not so soon. The pipis couldn't handle another divorce, and Spamton didn't think he could either. There were only so many times you can put a broken toy back together.

Spamton stepped away from Tenna, denying him a hug or any affection. He shook his head slowly, wanting to say so many things that he'd never been brave enough to say. He wanted to tell the [CRT] to leave and never come back, he wanted to beg Tenna to stay and never leave him again, but most of all, Spamton wanted to say...

"[#$@!] YOU!"