Chapter Text
It had been a few hours since he had last texted Rose, and John was starting to get worried. He knew she could handle herself, probably better than even he could, but it didn’t make the pit in his stomach go away when he thought of what might have happened to her. He felt a buzz in his pocket, and immediately scrambled to check it, hoping for any sign that Rose was alive. When he looked at his screen though, he was filled with confusion rather than relief. Since entering the Dungeon, he hadn’t even seen anyone else come online on Pesterchum aside from Rose. That made the messages he got even stranger though.
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 2:23 --
GC: H3Y LOS3R
GC: H3Y
GC: 1 C4N S33 YOU’R3 ONLINE
GC: YOU C4N’T 1GNOR3 M3 FOR3V3R
EB: who are you?
EB: and how are you contacting me?
EB: i thought only rose could contact me.
GC: WHY WOULD YOU TH1NK TH4T
GC: TH4T’S STUP1D
EB: well i kinda figured since i couldn’t contact anyone else…
GC: D1D 1T NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT THEY M1GHT B3 ASL33P OR 1GNOR1NG YOU?
EB: well yeah, but i saw in the recap that dave was awake at least.
EB: but i don’t know about jade.
EB: and dave’s bro probably wouldn’t want him checking his phone while they’re fighting monsters
EB: wait hold on you still haven’t told me who you are
GC: 1’M YOUR B3ST SHOT AT SURV1V1NG R1GHT NOW
GC: 1F YOU W4NT TO L1VE, L1ST3N TO M3
EB: that’s not the line
GC: WH4T
EB: the line is “come with me if you want to live”
EB: like in terminator
GC: 4G41N, 1 ASK, *WH4T?*
EB: the movie?
EB: with arnold Schwarzenegger?
GC: N3V3R S33N 1T
EB: how have you never seen terminator?
GC: DO3S 1T M4TT3R?
GC: 1 JUST C4M3 H3R3 TO G1V3 YOU SOM3 4DV1C3
EB: and why would i take advice from someone who is so uncultured as to have never seen terminator? its easily one of the coolest movies ever.
GC: LOOK. YOU S41D 1’M TH3 ONLY OTH3R P3RSON YOU C4N CONT4CT R1GHT NOW.
GC: SO YOU HAV3 TWO OPT1ONS
GC: OPT1ON 1: YOU BLOCK M3 AND W3 N3V3R SP34K 4G41N
GC: OR OPT1ON 2: YOU STOP T4LK1NG ABOUT YOUR DUMB ROBOT MOV13S AND L1ST3N TO M3 FOR 4 GOG D4MN M1NUTE
EB: okay. fine.
EB: jeez
GC: GR34T. NOW GO NORTH UNT1L YOU F1ND 4 ROOM TH4T’S 4 B1G C1RCL3, TH3N GO THROUGH TH3 FLOOR, GOT 1T?
EB: got it.
GC: GR34T! NOW GO G3T 3M 3GB3RT!
EB: wait how do you know my name
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] has blocked ectoBiologist [EB]--
EB: …
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 2:52 --
John looked up from his phone and questioned what had just happened. Whoever this “gallowsCalibrator” was, he knew three things: They knew more than they let on, they were really annoying, and he really didn’t like them. Admittedly, he didn’t have any better ideas as to where he should go, so he started trudging down the hall.
It was twenty minutes later when he realized he had no idea which direction was actually north. Checking his map showed that there weren’t any safe rooms nearby, and there was a surprising lack of enemies around as well. Might as well keep heading this direction. I probably shouldn’t even be listening to them. John thought to himself as he kept walking, the silence around him growing almost oppressive. He thought he saw an Ogre, but it turned out to already be dead and looted.
Another half hour later, he had stopped looking around much, and instead was just getting some practice in with the Telescopic Sassacrusher; his new 10 foot hammer was easily the most powerful weapon he had, and its handle, despite looking like his telescope, seemed to be remarkably durable and sturdy. He had been worried at first that it would fall apart if he actually tried to fight anyone with it.
John almost couldn’t believe his luck when, in spite of his plan to ignore GC, he stumbled into a large room, easily twenty metres in diameter, the floor was inset with a big metal plate, engraved with the same symbol as the one on the dungeon entrance door: the weird spirograph, no, the logo of the Skaian Confederacy. The room seemed to be some kind of intersection between a half dozen hallways. If he listened extra closely, he could hear enemies down some of the other passages, but they weren’t headed in his direction. Well, he was here, and GC had somehow known he would end up here, so he might as well do the rest of what they had told him to do. The Sassacrusher popped into his hand from his inventory, and he adjusted his grip like he was chopping wood while camping with his dad. He reared back, and was about to swing down when he felt his phone start buzzing. The surprise, as well as the sudden noise in the silence made him slip, falling ass-backwards onto the floor, where he pulled out his phone for the second surprise of the day.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 9̷̨̼̻̦͓̼̙̋̇͐͛̚9̷̬̳̩̥̮͆:̴̛̛̙̤͖̫͒̑̿̈́̿͑9̸̛͕̳͕̩͇̗͐̋9̵̩͖̗͉̰̘̅ --
TG: dude i know what youre about to do trust me bro its not worth it
EB: dave! I’m so glad you’re okay!
TG: yeah of course im ok why would you even think otherwise
TG: hell im better than ok im great
TG: call me a small marsupial the way im a chin-chill-a
TG: wait shit are chinchillas marsupials
TG: or are they rodents
TG: most of the people who actually know are probably dead now
TG: do you think chinchillas are still alive anymore
TG: cause like the worlds ended now maybe they’ll become the new apex species
TG: like that one movie with the planet full of apes but instead its chinchillas and other marsupials
TG: what is the name of that movie anyways
EB: you mean planet of the apes? from 1967?
TG: yeah that’s the one with the statue of liberty at the end right
EB: yeah
TG: awesome
TG: wait shit that went way off topic
TG: anyways dont listen to gc shes going to get you killed
EB: wait how did you know about that
TG: look its not important right now what matters is that if you break that floor right now you will die
TG: just wait where you are for like two hours
TG: grind some levels or something
EB: what are you talking about
TG: look if you just wait there rose will meet up with you and you two can go do whatever it is you do
EB: how do you know that? dave what’s going on?
TG: dude youre going to need to trust me but ironically i don’t have time to explain everything right now so just sit tight
--turntechGodhead is Offline--
EB: what is happening
-- ectoBiologist [EB] stopped pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9̷̨̼̻̦͓̼̙̋̇͐͛̚9̷̬̳̩̥̮͆:̴̛̛̙̤͖̫͒̑̿̈́̿͑9̸̛͕̳͕̩͇̗͐̋9̵̩͖̗͉̰̘̅ --
For the second time today, John was left sitting at his phone screen and wondering what on earth was happening.