Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hey, sorry to do this by text, but it’s just not working with us. I can get my stuff back from Bradford next time I see him, sorry.

Lucy’s heart dropped to her stomach when she read the text from Emmett this morning, but that sadness had already begun to creep into anger as she recalled the message to Jackson. 

“Breaking up with me by text… what is he? Fourteen?” She rants. “He doesn’t have the guts to do it in person?”

“Most guys don’t,” Jackson replies in an attempt to calm her down. “Look, just be happy he didn’t ghost you.” Tim joins in their conversation with a sigh. “Chen, can we get to work now?”

Recalling that Tim and Emmett are friends, the idea to ask Tim if he knows anything at all about it pops into her head. “Did Emmett talk to you about this?” The question sounds more accusatory when it falls from her lips than she intends. 

“No. Why would he?” He snarls back. “Because you’re friends,” she says. Duh. “We don’t talk feelings. We drink and watch sports together.” 

“That’s guy for friends,” she throws back. “Well, straight guy for friends,” Jackson quips. 

“Look you want my advice? Walk it off,” Tim offers. “He’s clearly not the right guy for you.”

“That is the same advice he would give me if I got hit by a pitch. What is wrong with men?” Lucy groans as she follows him out to the shop.

The pair is finishing up a call to a loud noise complaint and heading back to the shop when Lucy, once again, talks about the break up.

“Have you ever been dumped out of the blue before?” She asks Tim.

“Let me think… One time, my wife left the house in the middle of the night and I didn’t see her again for two years.” His tone is laced with sarcasm and Lucy could slap herself for forgetting about that part of his history. 

“Okay, I get it. In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t that bad. I just want to know why. Can you please ask?”

Before he can answer, he’s distracted by their tagged shop, which ends up taking their focus for majority of their shift. The fact that Tim had his shop tagged when he was ten feet away from it in his rookie days makes her laugh for the first time that day. 

It’s not until the end of their shift that she goes on another tangent about Emmett and how immature breaking up through text was. 

“I mean, if you’re going to break up with someone, there should at least be a decent reason,” she moans and Tim’s hand slide on the steering wheel, moving the car to the side of the road. 

“Today’s the first time you’ve talked about Emmett in weeks.”

“You hate it when I talk about personal stuff in the shop,” she defends herself, knowing that he’s right. 

“Yet you still do. Listen, if it’s upsetting you that much, I have a pickup game with him tonight. I’ll ask,” Tim offers and small smile grows across her cheeks, reaching her eyes. “Thank you.”

Tim normally wouldn’t go out of his way to help a rookie, especially in regards to their personal lives. But, after everything Lucy had been through and after he’d given his approval of Emmett, this felt like it was the least he could do. 

“Hey, Lang, how’s it going?” Tim asks him, the two grabbing water after finishing their game. 

“Going. Ended things with Lucy, so ready to get back out there,” Emmett shrugs. 

“Yeah, she mentioned that,” Tim answers, confused. “Didn’t you guys break up this morning? You’re already looking to move on?” She’s better off without him, he thinks to himself, fighting off an eye roll. 

“I know she’s your rookie, Tim. And she’s a great girl. Sweet. Smart. But, all of her focus was on work. All of her free time was spent studying or working out. We spent next to no time together” Emmett explains. “And when we actually did spend time together, the sex wasn’t exactly good. Hate to say that it was pretty boring -“

“Nope. That’s more than I need to know,” Tim says, cutting him off in an attempt to respect Lucy’s privacy. “I’m going to head out, have a good night.” 

Tim spends more time thinking about it than he’d like to admit. Obviously he would tell her about spending more time working than with Emmett, but should he tell her about the ‘bad sex’ comment? Would the invasion of privacy upset her? 

His brain falls even further down the rabbit hole, imagining how sex with Lucy could be boring. His boot was hard working, athletic, kind. Gorgeous. All things that he would consider strong traits of a good lover, but he doesn’t let his mind wander any further with thoughts of his boot’s sex life.

“So,” Lucy begins from the passenger seat of the shop the following morning. “Did you get a chance to talk to him?”

Tim grips the steering wheel. “I did.”

“…And?” 

The way she’s looking at him is almost desperate. Having spent nearly a year training her, he knows how important it is for her to be liked. To be good. And the last thing he wants to do is bring her down further. 

“He said you were too focused on work and not on him,” he explains and Lucy’s brows pinch in response.

“That’s it? I mean… it’s been like that since the beginning. And that’s who I am. I’m not going to apologize for putting my career first.” 

“Nobody is asking you to. And, as your training officer, I’d say that’s a good thing,” he says, tacking on a small compliment. 

“He didn’t say anything else?”

“He mentioned one other thing, but he didn’t get to finish.”

She leans in slightly, a subtle look in her eye that says ‘go on,’ and he knows he has to be honest with her. 

“He said…” Tim swallows down the lump in his throat. Giving feedback to rookies had never been difficult for him, in fact, he almost enjoyed breaking their spirits at time. But this situation was different. This was personal. This was Lucy. “He said the sex wasn’t good. That it was boring.” He has to physically force out the last words, already feelings an unfamiliar feeling on pity in his stomach.

“Oh.”

She doesn’t say anything else and it’s not until he looks over and see’s her glossed over eyes and reddened cheeks that he realizes how upset she is.

Admittedly, it had been a while since Tim had sex. More than a few months. But he knew that he was good in bed. He always made sure his partner was satisfied. He loved to explore new things and share them with his partners. 

More importantly, he knew that involved two people and required good communication for it to be great. To see Lucy upset over something that couldn’t possibly be all her fault was hard and he felt a responsibility to help her through this. 

“Look, Lucy-“

“It’s okay. Thanks for asking him for me, but you don’t need to say anything else. No personal talk in the shop, right?” She lets out a humorless chuckle. 

“Right.”

The next few weeks move quickly and eventfully. The topic isn’t broached again and Lucy successfully completes her rookie year. To celebrate Lucy and Jackson’s first successful shift on their own, everyone meets at a bar for drinks.

Lucy is standing alone at the bar, waiting for the bartender to bring her the next round for the table when she hears someone speak to her right. “Let me buy you a drink.” He’s tall and handsome, authoritative. Definitely someone she’d be interested in at first glance, but her confidence took a hit thanks to Emmett and it’s not quite back to where it once was. 

So she politely declines.

“Turning down guys at bars?” Tim says as he steps up next to her. 

She shrugs her shoulders. “Yep. Not exactly sure I’m ready to put another guy through sex with me. I’m still pretty embarrassed about that.” 

He leans his side against the bar top, arms crossed. “It’s really nothing to be embarrassed about.” 

“Please,” she scoffs. “My ex shared with my training officer that he broke up with me because I’m bad in bed.”

“Sex is a two way street, Chen. He shouldn’t put all the blame on you. It’s something that can take practice.”

Lucy sighs, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks as they broach the sensitive topic again. “Right. But I can’t stop thinking about it, you know?” She blames the alcohol for her loose lips. “What about me made it bad? And, I know I’m maybe a little vanilla, but what am I supposed to do if my partner isn’t willing to explore with me? It’s not like I can get a coach or take a class for it.”

Lucy loves to study, to learn. If she could take a class on being good at sex, she’d be the first one on the roster. 

“Why not?”

She lets out a sharp laugh. “Yeah, let me just find a guy who will teach me how to be good in bed.”

Tim looks at her, head tilted and one brow raised, and she can’t help but smirk. 

“Okay, yes, it’d be easy to find a guy willing to help,” she agrees. “But not easy to find someone who knows what they’re doing. Or to find someone I’d trust.”

The bartender drops the beers in front of them.

“Maybe you need someone you already know,” he says, grabbing three of the beers off the counter. “Someone who’s already proven they can train you.”

Her head reels the rest of the night. Was he being serious? If he was, it wasn’t the worst idea. She’s found Tim attractive since day one, and getting to know the man underneath over the past months only made him hotter. And he wasn’t her training officer anymore. 

He could teach her a lot, make her irresistible to the next guy she sleeps with. Help her gain her confidence in the bedroom in the same way he did on the streets. 

She follows him out to his truck at the end of the night and makes sure no one else is around. “Were you joking before? About training me?” She can feel the redness to her cheeks as she asks. 

“When have I ever joked, Chen?” He smirks. 

“Good point.” 

“Is that something you want? For me to continue training you?”

She bites her lip as she nods. “Yeah, I think I do.” 

He swings his driver door open. “Be at my place tomorrow night by eight. Don’t be late.”

Chapter Text

“I think we should start with some ground rules,” Tim starts. He’s sitting next to Lucy on his couch, the only sound coming from Kojo’s soft snores on the other side of the room. Lucy nods her head in agreement. “What are you thinking?”

He holds up his pointer finger. “First, this stays away from work.”

“Should be easy, given that we’re not riding together anymore.”

He adds his middle finger. “Second, this stays between us. We don’t need to share it with anyone and it’s better to protect our careers.”

Lucy sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. “Trust me, this is embarrassing enough as is. I won’t be sharing with anybody.”

“Again, nothing to be ashamed of,” he reassures and raises his ring finger. “Third, we keep this confined to our homes, never anywhere else so there’s no risk of being caught by anyone,” Tim says and Lucy juts in.

"I have a roommate, it's probably best we avoid my place too."

His head bobs. "Alright, confined to my home." He holds up a fourth finger.

“Finally, it’s just sex. Nothing more.” The last rule would normally be easy for Tim. He’d never had any issues keeping sex and feelings separate, but he knew when it came to Lucy, the line between being her TO and whatever he’d felt for her after saving her life had already started to blur. He felt a responsibility to help her, but he needed to do whatever he could to stay on the right side of the line.

Lucy nods along as he lists the rules, making a mental note of them in her head.

“So, where do we start?” She asks, her leg bouncing anxiously.

“We talk,” Tim replies. “Tell me about it.”

“Just out with it?”

“You told me last night at the bar that you haven’t stopped thinking about it, so obviously you have some thoughts. What are they?”

Lucy’s body language at work was always confident and self-assured, even throughout the brutal training he’d put her through. She stood tall and steady so that even with her smaller stature, she appeared intimidating and powerful to anyone.

But now she was folding in on herself, arms folded over her stomach, legs crossed away from him, and head tilted down. It was as if she was trying to appear smaller and less noticible.

“I guess my first thought was maybe he didn’t like the way I looked.” Tim watches intently as she talks down at the floor, refusing to make eye contact with him. “I know we work a physically demanding job, but I probably could spend more time in the gym.”

When she finally looks up at Tim, she’s met with a stupefied look.

“Lucy, at the risk of sounding like a Neanderthal, trust me when I say, it is not the way you look.”

He wasn’t lying. She looked good in the uniform, but his professionalism never let his eyes wander too far. The handful of times he saw her in plainclothes, he may have glanced a few more times than necessary. Everything about her shape screamed feminine and delicate.

Her gaze drops down again, her lips ever so slightly turned up at the corners.

“Honestly, I thought Emmett was enjoying himself,” the small smile and briefly wore drops. “I mean I know I’m not the most adventurous, but I thought he was satisfied. My ex cheated on me too and I never considered that I was part of the reason why.”

Tim head juts back at the audacity of the statement. “First of all, cheating is no one’s fault but his, none of that blame is on you. Don’t ever accept blame on behalf of others, Lucy. Second, if they didn’t say that they weren’t happy, how would you have known? Good sex requires communication.”

“I know. But, I’ve never really… experienced much,” she reveals. “Before Emmett, I guess the guys I’ve been with weren’t up for exploring or I wasn’t comfortable enough to try anything new. Or, maybe I am just vanilla.”

“Vanilla can be relative,” he tells her. “To some people, doggy is adventurous. To others, being spanked and called a ‘good girl’ is a normal Tuesday night.”

Tim doesn’t miss the way her eyes flash at the latter. He’d say he’s surprised that Lucy has a praise kink, but that was obvious from day one. He does, however, add the idea of spanking her to a mental list for later.

“What side of the spectrum are you on?” Tim can hear a small quiver in her voice as she asks the question.

“I’d say I’m more akin to some less than vanilla sex,” he answers honestly. “I’ve always been open and willing to try new things and I’ve liked a lot of it.”

Her focus is back on the floor again. “Like what?”

“I’ve dommed before. Subbed too, but never really enjoyed it. Breath play, role play, orgasm control,” he trails off.

It’s quiet and he barely hears the soft “oh” that Lucy whispers.

“What?”

Her eyes meet his, and while her cheeks are tinged pink, he can see a hit of excitement in her eyes. “It’s just intimidating. I mean, I’m not going to say I’m ’doggy-position-is-exciting-vanilla,’ but I’ve never done anything like… that.”

“Lucy, I wouldn’t ask you to do anything you don't want to. It sounds like you want to learn some new things, stretch out of your comfort zone, and I’m going to help you do that - the same way I trained you to become a cop.”

“So we can consider this a continuation of the FTO program?” She huffs out a small laugh. “‘Trained you on the streets now I’ll train you in sheets’? Are you gonna call me boot too?”

Tim doesn’t laugh though. “That depends. Do you want me to?” He smirks at the way her jaw drops and adds a second item to his mental list.

When she doesn’t respond, he continues. “We’ll try whatever feels right to you. We can even make a list to work through,” he suggests and receives an eager nod in response.

“I want to do this. I do. I want to feel confident and sexy. I want the next guy I date to be… not bored.”

“Not bored?” He offers a lighthearted smile. “That’s a low bar, Chen. When I’m done with you, you’re going to blow some lucky guys mind.”

Lucy bites her lip and shakes her head, as if in disbelief that Tim can actually train her.

“So, we’ll start with the basics.” He stands and hold his hand out, inviting her to stand with him.

“Kiss me.” It’s not an order, but it’s also not a request and she doesn’t hesitate. Standing on her toes, she reaches up to grab his jaw and pulls him down into a soft peck on the lips before stepping away.

“That’s it? Come on, Chen. You can do better than that.”

Her jaw drops in offense, but Tim’s hands are laced in her hair and then his mouth overtakes her. He’s gentle at first, cautious in how he parts her lips with his own and he’s surprised when she smiles into it, taking his bottom lip between her teeth and pulling him even closer.

It becomes harsher and needier, all teeth and tongue as Tim makes his way down her jaw and to her neck. She cranes her head back to give him all the access he needs and lets out a gasp when he bites on her collar bone.

Their hands explore each others torsos over their clothes, Tim's fingers enjoying the give of the flesh of her hips and Lucy's nails raking through the hair at the nape of his neck.

Kissing her is natural, like the ocean meeting the shore. He's the tide, inevitably and endlessly ebbing and flowing, while she's the sand, accepting him and keeping him grounded, the two of them mingling together softly and perfectly. Then passion hits like a storm and the waves crash harder and hungrier, the grains receiving it like they were created to.

And under it all, Tim feels something seated in him, something deeper and devoted and timeless.

And he forces himself to pull away.

Her lips are red and puffy, eyes hooded and curious as she anticipates his response.

"So?" She says when he doesn't say anything and just stares at the beauty before him, and for the first time that night he stutters through his words.

"G-good. Great. No room for improvement."

She smiles. "Do I get an evaluation at the end of this like I did with my training?"

Tim smirks and rolls his eyes. Ever the A student.

"Maybe, but you do get an assignment."

Lucy gathers her bag of the floor and walks over to pet a soundly sleeping Kojo. "What assignment?"

"I want you to make a list before the next time we meet. Anything and everything you want to try or have ever even thought about." Her hand freezes on the dogs fur. "No judgement, Lucy," he tacks on when he senses her hesitation.

"Make a list, got it." She stands by the door and Tim holds it open for her, but she stops before she exits.

"Good first lesson?"

"Great first lesson, boot."

He winks before he locks the door behind her and goes to the kitchen to grab a paper, pen, and envelope.

And he writes her evaluation.

Lucy's nerves were on edge all day. She'd had no idea what to expect before going to Tim's place and had considered a handful of possibilities.

One, he was joking in the parking lot and laughs in her face when she arrives. Maybe even takes a picture and puts it on a T-shirt for old times sake.

Two, he offers her some book recommendations or readings. It was unlikely since he valued experience for training, but with something like this it could be an option.

Three, they get right into it, down and dirty. She'd spoken to Rachel before they broke up, so she knew Tim was 'assertive,' as his ex had put it. Someone who 'gives and takes in equal amounts.' It's part of why she'd agree to let him help her with this.

But in none of these scenarios did Lucy imagine a brief therapy session with Tim of all people, where he talks about not accepting blame on behalf of others and how communication is key.

But the moment he kissed her, it felt right. Her nerves melted away and were replaced with nothing but pure anticipation. When he pushed his tongue past her lips, she swears her knees almost gave out.

For the rest of the drive home, she reviews the rules in her head.

Only four rules, she thinks to herself. Easy.

1. Keep it away from work. Like I have time to think about anything other than crime while we’re on shift.

2. Don’t tell anyone. Why would I want to share this with anyone?

3. Keep it in his house. Safest, smartest, and easiest option.

4. No feelings. It’s just sex. Even though sex is inherently intimate, Tim definitely isn’t an intimate person. She’ll be able to ignore any feelings that come up, right?

Chapter Text

Ever the good student, Lucy shows up to Tim's house with a list of things she'd like to try. At first she thought she might struggle with it, but it turns out that years of fantasizing through romance novels and her own imagination had given her a lot to work with.

Picturing all of the acts being done to her by Tim didn't hurt the creative process either. A small part of her enjoyed the hazing he put her through as his rookie, the harshness and control, and she considered all of the ways he could harness that same energy into the bedroom as she wrote.

The ideas flowed out of her, smoothly written on the paper that she'd folded neatly and held out in her hand for him to take. Tim doesn't open it, though. Instead, he throws it to the side and pulls her through the threshold of his home, slamming the door shut and pushing her back up against it.

And then he's kissing her again.

And, God, it's better than last time. There's no timidity from either of them, just intensity, like a spark that skipped over being a flame and immediately transformed into a roaring fire.

Kissing Emmett, or anyone for that matter, had never felt this easy.

"We'll look at the list later," he whispers into her mouth, barely pulling away from her to speak. "How do you feel about getting right into it tonight, Chen? Show me what I'm working with?" She can feel him smile into the words and, lord help her, she was more than ready.

"Yes, yeah," she nods eagerly, her hands sliding under his tshirt and gliding them over the warm skin that hides underneath.

Tim's arms wrap around her back and pull her chest to his, guiding their bodies past the kitchen and through the hallway that leads to his dimly lit bedroom.

Lucy finds herself being bolder than usual, pulling his top over his head before he can finish unbuttoning her top. As the material drapes off of her shoulders, she's glad she'd chosen to wear a matching set beneath her clothes. It's simple - forest green with delicate lace. The lined bra gives her a small lift and the bikini style bottom sits high on her hips, accentuating her waist.

While it won't relieve all of the nerves that removing under her clothes in front of her former TO and currently colleague had given her, the confidence boost didn't hurt.

Once the two are stripped down to their underwear, Lucy blushes when Tim's eyes run up and down her body. "Can't believe you would ever think anything negative about your body," he huffs out before bringing their mouths back together. As he steps them towards the bed, Lucy feels goosebumps rise on her skin from the feel of his hands on her body - over her thighs and hips, around to her ass and up her lower back, pulling her closer to him.

Even though she knew it was coming, her breath still hitches when his right palm sweeps over her left ribs.

"Shit," he says, resting his forehead on hers. "I'm sorry."

Tim had been the reason she'd kept it. And while it did serve as a reminder that she was a survivor, the underlying trauma still lingered.

"It's okay," she whispers back.

She cups his jaw in both hands and pulls him back down, lips mingling once again while they fall onto his bed. He makes his way down her throat and collarbone, stopping between her breasts, kneading them and pinching her pebbled nipples through the fabric.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he says as he pulls the cups down and kisses the underside of one breast. Tim works his way over both, nipping with his teeth and soothing with his tongue, earning sharp inhales and soft sighs from Lucy.

His fingers slide under the waist of her underwear and pull them down her hips, his tongue trailing down her stomach and kissing the newly revealed skin. "God, I can't wait to taste you."

Even though he's seated between them, her thighs still press together, closing him off. "You don't have to do that if you don't want to," she mutters, but Tim doesn't hesitate, his eyes still laced with lust. "I want to, Lucy," he reassures her, but she relents.

"Really, it's okay. I know a lot of guys don't like it, plus I never actually… you know."

Tim looks up, confusion written across his face. "You don't come from oral?"

"No. I don't normally come with a partner at all."

The realization has Tim sitting back on his heels, the confused expression all but wiped away and replaces with disbelief.

"And the guys you've slept with are just… okay with leaving you unsatisfied?"

It happened the same way with most of her partners. She'd get close, so close, everything built up and ready to explode, but as her moans grew, he would change his pace or move positions or finish themselves. For the sake of their feelings, it was easier to just let them think they did.

"They may not have known," she mumbles and Tim's jaw drops and his brow furrows.

"Lucy, tell me you didn't fake it," his voice is low and filled with what sounds like disappointment.

"I didn't wan't anyone to feel inadequate," she tries to defend herself, but she knows he's right.

"Lucy, they didn't make you come. They were inadequate," he says pointedly and stands, carefully pulling her up by her arms. "What are you doing?" She asks as he walks her over to the full length mirror that stands in the corner of his room.

"Sit," he orders and then takes a seat behind her so they're both facing the mirror, Lucy sat between his legs on the floor. "I'm going to make sure that you never leave this bedroom without having at least one orgasm from me. So you're going to teach me how to get you off."

Her eyes widen. "Wh-what?" She stutters out. Their reflection is filthy. Tim's thighs spread casually to either side of her body, her own legs sat crossed in front of her. They're both in their underwear, but Lucy's breasts are still freed from their cups from earlier. She feels exposed, but the way Tim's eyes are watching her through the mirror makes her feel excited, wanted.

"Show me how you touch yourself, Lucy."

Tim watches her from under hooded eyes. Is he at all surprised that a people pleaser like Lucy would fake her own pleasure to spare some guys ego? No. But he would make damn sure that she never did again.

He can feel the embarrassment reeling in her brain. "I want to help you, Chen, but I need you to show me how."

She's tentative as she spreads her legs, revealing the lace that's covers her core. Her left hand rests on the floor and her right goes to her center, lightly grazing over the material.

He watches with fascination as her fingers slide the fabric over, revealing her glistening pussy underneath. It's wet and enticing, clean shaven with a small patch of hair at the top of her slit and Tim can't wait to have his mouth on it. His cock twitches, but he keeps his focus on her movements.

Two fingers dip into her core, collecting the moisture and sliding up to her clit, making slow but firm counterclockwise circles.

He debates if he should help or not. The idea of sliding his fingers into her heat sends more blood rushing south, but watching her slowly get more comfortable in front of him is the hottest thing he'd ever seen. He opts somewhere in the middle, nibbling at her neck and raking his fingers over her thighs while murmuring words of encouragement in her ear.

"You're doing so good."

"Show me what you like."

"You look so pretty like this."

He can physically see her shyness transform into heat as her fingers move faster and her chest moves with quick, shallow breaths.

She sinks back into him and her left hand moves to her mouth, keeping her eyes locked on his through the mirror, and it forces Tim to release his cock from his underwear and touch it for some relief.

They slide down her body until they reach her cunt and she slides the first finger in and then adds the second, pumping them in and out while her other hand rubs her clit. As her eyes close and she bites her bottom lip, can can see how close she's getting

Lucy lets out a soft cry when he removes her hands but then sighs when he replaces them with his own.

"Now you're going to tell me how to do it," he grunts in her ear. "Pressure? Pace? You give the orders right now."

His hands move cautiously, copying her movements without furthering them.

"More pressure on my clit," she whispers. "And a little faster."

She moans when he presses down harder.

"Add another finger, but keep going just like that."

Tim obeys, his fingers working her wet pussy until he begins to feel it flutter.

"Are you going to come?"

She doesn't answer, her brows furrowed in focus as she watches him work her.

"Answer me, boot."

Her eyes squeeze shut and her jaw falls open, soft but sharp moans fall from her throat.

"I'm coming, fuck, I'm coming," she huffs out. One arm moves up and around Tim's neck while the other holds onto his forearm, gripping the tense muscle as he works her through her orgasm.

Lucy slumps back onto his chest and he kisses her neck. "See? You need someone who is willing to learn what you like."

"Yeah," she agrees, still catching her breath. "That was incredible." Lucy turns her head to him and cups his jaw, bringing his mouth to hers. The two of them lay down on the carpeted floor, side by side and arms entangled.

"You learn so well," he mutters between kisses. "Now lets see what else we need to work on."

Chapter Text

Tim can't help himself. Something inside of him turned feral when she let go of her inhibitions, feeling so comfortable with him that she clenched around his fingers. He needed to feel it again and again and again, to watch her come undone in front of him in a way she never had in front of any other man.

Lucy seems to reciprocate his neediness, hungrily kissing him back on the floor of his bedroom, arms and legs intertwined as they lay on their sides.

He's finding that the way he trains her here is going to feel very similar to the way her trained her in the shop.

She liked being instructed.

She liked when he took control.

She came immediately after he called her boot.

He wonders if she ever had thoughts about him doing things like this while she was his rookie. Instead of making her run next to the shop, making her get on her knees for him. Rather than sparring at the gym, finding other ways to pin each other down in privacy.

He knows this is platonic. He's just helping a friend - a colleague, even - gain her confidence back. Two consenting adults doing adult activities at the benefit of personal growth. Her self esteem gets a boost and Tim doesn't have to feel guilty about giving his approval of Emmett anymore.

It's just training.

But then Lucy pushes his shoulders back and throws her leg over his, straddling him, her hips grinding down, and Tim is reminded:

He's just a man.

All of his thoughts are gone and replaced with one thing. One beautiful, curvy, smart, caring thing.

Lucy.

She isn't sure what compels her to pin him down. It's unlike her, to be so assertive, at least in the bedroom. Maybe it's a lingering need to take more from the first man who was willing and able to give her an orgasm or just the inability to control the rapidly growing fire in her core. Regardless, she stops herself.

"Sorry," she apologizes as she sits up, but Tim pulls her right back down.

"Don't be sorry," he mutters into her mouth before placing his hands on her hips and resuming the motions for her.

Lucy's jaw falls slack as she feels his hardness against her. Her panties are fully soaked and she doesn't need to look af his briefs to know that she's seeping onto him too. His length is solid and thick between her legs, rubbing against her clit so perfectly as he guides her back and forth.

His chest is warm and smooth and her hard nipples brushing against the taut skin with every thrust. Tim's hips press up to hers, applying more pressure right where she needs it. "Take what you need, Lucy."

She grinds faster, burying her face in his neck to stifle her moans and, at this point, he's close to spilling in his briefs with the way her breath feels against his skin.

When he feels her body tense against his own and hips falter, he knows she's coming, but the whispered "Tim" in his ear is what sends him over the edge with a single grunt, all of his seed contained by the material of his underwear.

Lucy rolls off of him, back onto the floor beside him. Their orgasms both came quickly and enexpectedly. The whole interaction felt raw, natural. More passionate than anything with no feelings should.

Both of them still breathing heavily and ignoring their emotions, Tim breaks the silence. "We should go through your list."

But he doesn't even need to look at that list to know that he will do every single thing on it with her.

They both clean themselves up and take a seat at his kitchen table, the clock on the wall ticking methodically. Arms crossed, he leans back in his chair and scans the words, a simple list of a handful of sexual experiences Lucy would like to have and trusts him enough to share them with.

• Spanking

• Hair Pulling

• Dirty Talk

• Anal Play

• Edging

• Overstimulation

• Toys

• Restraints Light Restraints

• Subbing

"Spanking and hair pulling are pretty straight forward."

Lucy sits up straight, thinking that this feels more like a job interview than a review of her homemade kink list. "I figured they were the easiest to start with. Gently, at first. More if I like it."

"You will," he smirks. "Dirty talk. What kind?"

Her brow furrows. "What do you mean?"

"Do you want praise? For me to tell you what a good girl you're being? Or to be degraded and talked down to? Or a combination and be called a good little slut?" Lucy's cheeks flush and before she can stumble out a response he urges her on. "Answer me, boot."

"Yes. I think," she says. "All of it." A smirk grows across Tim's face, a mixture of pleasure and excitement blooming in his chest.

"Anal play, have you ever done anything before?"

"Not really," she says, a grimace on her face and Tim raises an eyebrow and sits up taller. "What do you mean not really?"

"My ex pulled the 'wrong hole' move, definitely not a good time," she explains it lightly, like she's recalling the time someone cut her in line at the grocery store instead of the experience of someone violating her.

"Who?" He asks gruffly, the deep rooted cop in him coming out, but Lucy rolls her eyes. "It was years ago, Tim. He doesn't even live here and I broke up with him that night. I can handle myself."

His mouth forms a hard line, but he recedes, respecting her wishes. "And you still want to try anal?"

"Yes. I deserve to try what I want under my own circumstances." Tim smiles at the words and feels some pride swell in his chest before moving onto the next items on the list.

"What about edging?"

"A little, only on myself," she tells him. When she wrote it down, initially she envision herself being controlled by someone else, but now she was having ideas of Tim being edged and she puts that on a mental checklist in her head.

"Overstimulation and toys?"

"I've never been overstimulated, but I have used toys." His thoughts are flooded with images of Lucy touching and teasing herself like she did earlier, only with a toy thrusting in and out of her instead of her fingers. "I've never used them with a partner though," she continues. "Why do men get emasculated by something that vibrates?"

"Men who care about their partners getting off don't," Tim chuckles and scans down the list, not missing the detail of 'light' added in front of 'restraints.' He doesn't need to say what he's reading, Lucy already knows where he's focused.

"I always wanted to try it, being restrained. But the idea of being tied up now, after Caleb, makes me… nervous. I put it on the list to try further down the line." She feels silly even having it there, but she really does hope that one day she'll get there.

All Tim wants to do is support her and help her. "If and when you're ready, we'll make sure we discuss it prior. We'll probably do it for all of these," he reassures her.

"You, uh. You wrote subbing here?" He tries to hide the surprise in his voice, but she picks up on it.

"I did."

"Why?"

"Because I want to try it?" He'd said to add anything that she'd consider to the list and she did, so why did this item seem to be the only one he stumbled over.

"Lucy, subbing can be… a lot," he explains. "I want to make sure that you're not only saying you would try this because I said I like to dom."

She's not surprised that he would think she would do that. Do something she doesn't like just to keep her partner happy. But this training is about her goals and this is what she wants.

"I like the idea of giving my control up to someone," she continues. "We spend all day making decisions that are intense, sometimes even life or death. Being able to let go of that sounds… pleasant."

"We keep it minimal, set scenes prior and make sure we discuss everything in detail," he stresses. "But I need you to understand that it requires a lot of trust to have that type of relationship."

She can't help but let out a small laugh. "Tim, you trained me. You literally saved my life. I honestly don't think there's anyone in my life I trust more."

Something flickers in his eyes. She's not quite sure what it is, but it's accompanied by a smile that he tries to hide.

"Alright. We can build up to that. Is there anything else you want to add to the list? Or ask about?"

"No, but maybe as our… lessons… progress, we can add on?"

They both stand, pushing their chairs out, ready to end their lesson. "Oh, we will. But, we're going to get started on one tonight," he says.

"Another assignment?" She tilts her head, the excitement already growing.

"Go home and touch yourself, but don't come."

Tim walks her to the door, opening it. "Starting with edging?" She asks.

"Exactly," he says and gives her a deep kiss. "And the next time you come will be around my cock."

Chapter Text

And the next time you come will be around my cock.

It's been three days since then, and these words have repeated in Lucy's head like a mantra over and over again. In fact, the entire interaction replays in her thoughts constantly while she's at work, in the car, in bed… From Tim pressing her up against his door to him telling her to 'take what she wants' and making her come not once, but twice, with a partner for the first time while she watched them in the reflection of his mirror.

The lessons have her finally able to make sense of all of those feelings she had during her rookie year. She could never quite make sense of her reaction to Tim. All the times he was stern with her, punished her, called her boot. It pissed her off, yes, but there was always something that lingered deeper after their shifts had passed and it confused her. Why would I enjoy being talked to like that she'd ask herself.

Now she understood that she liked the control.

Craved it, even.

Her mind kept wandering to Tim, thighs rubbing together at every opportunity in the hopes for some relief, any relief, as she continued to build herself up since their last lesson passed. She followed his instructions, touching herself at every opportunity and bringing herself almost to the edge, but never letting herself fall over.

She was getting to a point of sexual frustration that she couldn't bare anymore and working with him didn't make it any easier.

While they sit in roll call, he crosses his arms over his chest, the short sleeves pulling taut over his muscles and she's reminded of the way they wrapped around her while they sat together on his floor.

He barks an order at Nolan and she wonders the next time they'll be alone together again so he can give her orders.

Even the way he rests his hands, his huge hands, on his duty belt has her biting her lip, recalling the way his long fingers felt inside of her.

"Lucy?" Jackson says and jolts her out of her daydreaming. "Hm?"

"You'll get the war bags?" The question brings a dose of reality to her. Rule number one: this stays away from work. She can't be thinking about Tim in a sexual way while she was on the clock.

"Yes, yeah. Sorry."

"You okay?" He asks, seemingly concerned. "Yeah, I'm just tired."

As she leaves to get the shop ready, her phone pings.

Tonight. My house.

Lucy moans into Tim's mouth as he kisses her up against his door again, and she swears if they keep doing this, walking into his house is going to become like the bell to Pavlov's dogs for her. His hips grind into hers, deep and slow. "Have you been doing your homework?" He whispers and she bobs her head, not willing to take her lips off of him long enough to speak.

"Good girl."

Her pussy clenches at the phrase and she can feel another gush of wetness soak her panties. He moves his lips across her jaw and down the center of her throat, only stopping because her t-shirt is blocking him from continuing.

"Bedroom?" She asks and Tim doesn't respond, only guides her there with backwards steps until the door slams behind her. They don't speak while undressing each other, just a blend of hurried breaths and fumbling hands until they're stripped down to nothing.

Tim lays her back on his bed and just admires. She's strong but soft. Her thick muscular thighs are wrapped in smooth skin. Wide, ample hips are emphasized by a slim waist. Her stomach has abs, but is protected by a small and enticing pouch that sits just above her pelvis and he can't wait any longer. He needs to taste her.

There's no teasing. No kissing up her thighs and around her clit to build anticipation. There's no need because she's been building herself up over the last week and, fuck, the second his mouth is on her pussy, she swears she could combust. Men have gone down on her before, but they'd been timid, never quite giving her what she needed.

But Tim was eating her out like she was his last meal. His movements on her cunt made her feel good, but his enthusiasm made her feel incredible.

Both of his arms wrap around her thighs, pulling her closer to his face while he licks up and down her slit, taking in her taste. He slides two fingers into her and steadily pumps them in and out while he continues to suck and flick at her clit with his tongue and Lucy swears they're going to break the world record for fastest orgasm.

When he groans into her, her hips buck and he pins her down with his free hand. "Where did I say you would come next, Lucy?" He sits back up but continues the movements with his fingers, feeling her begin to flutter around them.

"On you," she sighs out, focusing on not coming for the first time ever with a guy.

He removes his fingers and grabs a condom from his nightstand, rolling it on while Lucy watches. She'd felt him the other night while she grinded on him, so she knew he was… endowed. But seeing it just confirms his impressive length and thickness.

Tim grips her hips and pulls her to the edge of the bed, spreading her legs and standing in between them. He holds his cock on her pelvis and both of them take a second to examine just how deep he'll be inside of her.

"Tim," Lucy whispers impatiently, but he just slides his cock through her slit, gathering the wetness and circling his tip around her bundle of nerves. "No," he says, looking down at he mess laying beneath him "Where did I say you would come? I want to hear you say it."

Dirty talk.

For a second, the embarrassment makes her regret adding it to the list, but her frustration overpowers the shame.

"You said I would come on your co - oh!" Tim slides himself in with one fluid motion, bottoming out, and as much as her heat makes him want to close his eyes, he forces them open so he can see her reaction.

She's pushed herself up on her forearms, head turned down as she watches where their bodies connect, mouth fallen open and eyes widened as she adjusts to the delicious, burning stretch. Her thighs are spread and gripped in his palms, and he clenches his jaw at the way her pussy grips him, holding onto his length as he slides in and out.

He moves faster, watching the way her breasts bounce as he thrusts inside of her and recognizes that she's getting close again, her breaths shortened. "What do you need to come, Lucy? Do you want me to touch you? To rub your clit?" He asks, wetting his thumb in his mouth and bringing it down to her cunt when she nods her head yes.

"Should I fuck you harder? Faster? Use your words."

He's speaking to her in the same voice he used through all of her training and it turns her into a puddle.

"No," she nearly shouts. "No. Don't change anything."

Lucy's arms raise to the sides of her head and grab his comforter before she falls apart on him, hips grinding against his as if she's trying to pull him in further. A barely coherent "Tim, oh my god, I'm coming," falls from her lips, and this, combined with the way she watches him through dazed eyes, brings him over the edge.

He falls forward and his cock twitches inside of her, spilling inside of the condom while he buries his face in her neck until they've both come down from their highs. Tim rolls off of her, settling next the her on the bed, and turns to face her.

Her eyes are closed and she has a small, content smile on her face.

"Always tell your partner what you need," he says. "If they're good, they'll learn from it. And something tells me, you weren't the problem with your ex."

She looks at him, eyes wide and innocent. "So it was… I was…"

"Good?" He finishes her thoughts for her. "Yeah, Chen. Maybe you don't need any training after all."

He regrets the words immediately, because he doesn't want to stop doing whatever it is they're doing and because Lucy's face drops. "But, you did make a long list and Tim Bradford finishes what he starts."

A smile blooms across her face again.

"So he's proven."

Chapter Text

Since Tim felt Lucy clench on him almost a week ago, she'd consumed his thoughts. How warm she felt around him, how tight and perfect. This experience with her had him seeing a whole new side of Lucy, something beautiful and unrelenting.

As his rookie, she was tenacious. Always ready for the next challenge, regardless of what it may bring. She was kind and empathetic, but hard and stoic when necessary. It was a stark contrast to the woman she became when she was beneath him. Warm and soft, melting so easily for him.

The only similarity the two versions shared was her eagerness to learn.

He thinks back to her list and all of the items she'd written down.

Some he'd already started with, like dirty talk and edging. The word "cock" coming out of Lucy's pretty mouth and seeing her so needy from edging all week had him harder than he thought possible. The idea of combining the two and making her beg after teasing her for hours popped into his head and he stored it away for later.

Some of the others were simple to incorporate, like spanking, hair pulling, and overstimulation. The thought of bending her over and spanking her ass red while he tangled his fingers in her hair had crossed his mind at some point in one of the fantasies he'd pushed away, but now he intended to make it a reality.

Others required some planning. Toys, anal, light restraints. He was more than happy to help her with all of those, wether it was what toys to use, how to prep for anal, or cautiously introducing her to restraints to take back what someone else took from her.

But then she'd written subbing. And, god, she'd be the most beautiful submissive he'd ever seen if the way their past lessons together have gone are any indication. He knows that doing that will take this, whatever it is, past sex. Take it somewhere more personal.

He's spent a lot of his life compartmentalizing, but he wasn't sure he was ready for what that dynamic would bring.

Tim's grateful to be riding alone today. The calls come in frequently enough to keep his mind off of Lucy but when he's in the shop, he doesn't have to worry about keeping up a facade with another cop. He could let his thoughts wander freely, replaying Lucy's expression in his head as she came just for him.

"Seven-Adam-One Hundred, there's a situation in your area, sending location," his radio chirps.

"Seven-Adam-One Hundred, show me responding," Tim replies and accelerates, sirens off as he pulls up to the location, finding Lucy and Jackson already at the scene.

"What do we have so far?"

Both younger cops stand outside the door to the gas station, hands on their duty belts. "White male, late forties, at least six foot two, two fifty. Under the influence of something and threatening the cashier with a knife," Jackson explains. The man behind the counter is younger and clearly frightened, hands held up in surrender as the older man waves the blade around.

"There's a back door we can go through," Tim says. "If we approach the man head on, there's a chance he'll swing. If we come in from behind, we can taze him then disarm and cuff him once he's down."

Jackson and Lucy nod in agreement, following Tim as he walks around the building, taser in hand. Jackson props the door open and nods towards Tim who skulks in quietly, Lucy right behind him.

The man is getting closer to the counter now, voice raised and Tim doesn't hesitate. He pulls the trigger and the electricity jolts through the man, causing him to stiffen and fall down to his stomach.

Lucy steps in and kneels next to the man, her left knee on his back. "Hands behind your back, sir," she orders, but when he, expectedly, doesn't respond she grabs one hand. When she reaches for the other, all she sees is an arm swinging at her and then a sharp pain on her arm.

"Shit!" She shouts automatically at the sudden shock but quickly jumps back into gear, twisting the mans hand to release the weapon and then putting him in cuffs.

Tim kicks the knife away and then helps pull the man to his feet. "West, take him to my shop," he commands and turns towards Lucy as the two leave. "What the hell was that?" He turns to her and sees a small blood stain forming on her sleeve and dripping down towards her elbow.

She doesn't look up, taking the paper towels that the cashier hands to her and applying pressure on the wound. "It happened so fast, I'm not even sure," she explains.

"Always clear the weapons, you should know that by now," he reprimands, his tone harsh, and she looks up at him in shock, clearly not expecting him to speak to her like that. He doesn't give her a chance to respond and instead calls an RA before leaving the scene.

It isn't until he's back at the station, suspect in custody, that he pulls out his phone and sends her a message.

You disobeyed a direct order today. Be at my place at ten for your punishment.

Lucy's thoughts simmered over the way Tim spoke to her on shift. Initially, she was surprised - he hadn't spoken to her like that since the beginning of her rookie days. It didn't upset her. Mainly because he was right, she had made a mistake and she was injured because of it, but also because it meant that the lines weren't blurring. He was able to keep everything separate.

At least she though so until he texted her, a half bitten smile forming on her face.

"Punishing me for something that happened at work?" Lucy teases as she walks into Tim's house. "Getting awfully close to breaking rule number one."

"Maybe," he says and steps closer to her, then slowly starts undoing the buttons of her blouse. "But you need to learn your lesson." He brings his lips to the tattoo on her neck, biting and nipping and making Lucy sigh. "You need a spanking."

Her breath hitches, but it doesn't stop Tim. He continues his assault on her neck while walking them to his room, once again barely making it away from his front door. She aids him in removing her top and jeans, leaving her in her underwear while he's fully dressed.

Where this imbalance may have made her feel insecure in the past, the way his eyes rake over her makes her feel sexy.

He pulls his shirt over his head before bringing his lips back to hers and pushing her towards his bed and she gladly follows his lead. When she sits back on the mattress, Tim grips her hips and spins her around, pinning her down with a little more force than he intends.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," he apologizes when he hears her grunt at being pushed down to her stomach. "I got a little carried awa-"

"I liked it," she cuts him off, enjoying the way he's resting his palm on her lower back and how exposed she feels. More specifically, how comfortable she feels being exposed.

"Good," he approves and Lucy can hear the smirk in his voice. "Now, tell me what you did wrong today." His hands palm her ass and she's so glad she wore a thong so that nothing is getting of the way of feeling his skin on hers.

"I didn't remove the weapon."

"And?"

"And I was injured because of my own error."

"Exactly," he agrees and moves one hand over to the small cluster of stitches near the top of her arm, barely grazing it. "And I can't have you getting injured, Lucy," he says, his voice low.

Lucy chooses to ignore the sincerity and concern in his inflection.

Keep feelings out of it she reminds herself.

"Six hits, I'll get harder as I go. But if you decide you want me to stop at any point, just say the word," he instructs and Lucy nods.

"I'm ready," Lucy braces herself, hands resting next to her head and gripping the comforter.

The first spank, if you can even call it that, is just the firm placement of his hand against her flesh.

The second lands harder when Tim's hand moves quicker, but there's still no sting that Lucy had expected.

Bur the third is sharper and leaves a sting that makes her sharply gasp. "Was that okay?" He checks.

"Yeah, but…" she hesitates.

"But what?"

"I want more," she whispers. "Harder."

The fourth strike is intense as she feels her ass shake and then the warmth bloom throughout her skin. She braces herself for the next two, but Tim doesn't use any additional force, staying consistent.

Her parters have gripped her ass in the moment, maybe given love taps, but she'd never had anyone spank her like this. She could feel Tim's eyes on her while his hand came down, watching how she reacted to everything. His hands felt so big as he massaged her flesh, soothing the warmed skin.

Everything about it made her want more.

She feels him drag two fingers through her slit, over her underwear and she blushes at the idea of him knowing how wet being spanked made her.

"I take it you liked it?" He teases as he moves to roll her panties down, but Lucy spins around and stops him.

"I did," she smiles, looking up at him through her eyelashes. "But, you've made me feel so good Tim, let me return the favor." Her hand palms his hardened length through his sweatpants and she can see his jaw clench.

"Lucy, you don't have to do that," Tim tells her, but Lucy shakes her head. "I know I don't have to. I want to," she explains as she pulls his sweats and boxers down in one smooth movement.

Sure, Tim was training her to be better at sex, but she'd always felt confident while she was giving head. The power she felt when she was able to make a man weak at the knees using only her tongue made her feel impossibly sexy and she wanted to share that with him.

Lucy watches from below as she licks a strip on the underside of his cock all the way to the top, keeping her tongue wide and flat. He's watching her with an intense stare, almost as if he's mesmerized by the sight beneath him. When she wraps her lips around the head and swirls her tongue around, Tim's head falls back and he lets out of soft "fuck."

All of his reactions drive her to keep pleasuring him.

Lucy holds his length up and brings her mouth to his balls, wetting them and massaging them with her tongue. She returns her mouth to the tip of his cock while one hand pumps the rest of his length with a rotating motion and the other cradles his balls.

Briefly pausing, she places her hands on his thighs and slowly takes as much of him as she can down her throat then proceeds to bob her head up and down at a steady pace. The more comfortable she gets the further down she takes him, holding him deep in her mouth until she has to pop off to take a breath.

Lucy knows she must be a mess. Her eyes are watering so there's likely mascara under her eyes and his cock is drenched in her saliva, but Tim still looks at her like she's a piece of art.

"I want to add something to the list," she tells him and he brushes a piece of hair out of her face, nodding her on. "I want you to fuck my face."

Tim steps back and pulls her up, giving her a hard, messy kiss. "I'll write it on the list later," he tells her. "But right now, I need to fuck you."

Chapter Text

Tim Bradford knew three things about himself to be true:

He was made to be in law enforcement.

He hates the San Francisco Giants.

He is not worthy of the goddess that is Lucy Chen.

In fact, after tonight, he doesn't believe any man or woman was, is, or ever will be. Why anyone would ever let her go was beyond him. Spanking her was a long dreamed fantasy come to life. The way she gasped with each strike, the way she was positively soaked afterwards, it was more beautiful in person than he'd ever envisioned in his head.

And then she dropped to her knees, hair messy and pupils blown with lust, and proceeded to give him the most incredible head he'd ever received and he couldn't wait any longer. He had to be inside of her again.

"Panties off and on your hands and knees in front of the mirror, boot."

The last word is tacked on for two reasons. First, he knows she likes it. He can see the light in her eyes flicker every time he's used it since they've started this. Second, it makes things rougher, more gritty.

Less emotional.

He'd already broken rule one by using work as an excuse to have her come over again because he didn't want to wait any longer.

He couldn't wait any longer.

Physically, he missed her body and wanted to make her come again while he touched her anywhere she'd let him.

Emotionally, he needed to be sure she was okay after the incident earlier today.

Tim knew he was still able to push his feelings aside, but he needed to tighten the ropes in any way he could.

After rolling the condom on, he kneels behind her, and he's so glad he'd bought a full length mirror. He takes in their individual reflections. He's tall, looming over her frame, chest heaving. Lucy's back is arched, the wide breadth of her hips tapering down to the curve of her waist, all soft, golden skin all the way up to the tattoo that sits between her shoulder blades that he somehow hadn't noticed yet.

Lining himself up, he doesn't take his eyes off of her face, watching her expressions change as she reacts to each inch that he slowly slides inside of her. She's soaked and impossibly tight in this position and he's not sure how long he'll last.

When Lucy starts pushing back towards him, he grips her hips and moves roughly, relentlessly pounding into her. When she brings her fingers to her mouth and down to circle her clit without breaking eye contact through the mirror, Tim has to focus all of his energy on not coming right then and there.

He rakes his fingers up her back and weaves them into the hair at the crown of her skull, getting a close grip before gently tugging on the locks and forcing a deeper arch in her back. His thrusts slow as he gives her an inquisitive look. Do you like this?

His question is answered when her eyes shut and she bites her lip through a smile.

Lucy's breast sway as he pounds into her, one of his hands holding her hip with a bruising grip and the other laced through her dark locks. She supports herself on one arm while her free hand furiously circles her clit and he can feel that she's getting there and knows exactly what she needs.

Cautiously, he takes his hand from her hip and brings it down to her ass in one swift motion, no harder than he did before, but enough to make her gasp.

"Fuck," she pants out. "I'm so close. Harder, please."

Never wanting to disappoint her, he spanks her other cheek with more force and tightens the grip on her hair. "Such a good girl, telling me what you need," he coaxes her on. "You look so fucking pretty like this, Lucy. So fucking good for me."

Her eyes squeeze shut and her mouth falls open in a silent scream. The arm supporting her collapses and she falls onto her chest as her orgasm blooms through her, hips bucking as her pussy gushes around his cock, but he doesn't relent. He grabs both of her wrists and pulls her up so she's hovering against his floor and fucks her harder.

"Can you come again for me?"

Her cunt is still twitching around him when she opens her eyes and he can see the moment that she notices their reflection, how much it turns her on to see herself in this position, and she nods.

"Y-yes."

One arm wraps around her waist and pulls her up so her back is against is chest. He's not as deep in her in this position, but he knows she's never came for him without clitoral stimulation and this is the best way for him to do it.

He lifts his fingers to her mouth and she welcomes them, sucking and licking until he deems them wet enough to rub her clit with. She's a panting, moaning mess in his arms as he circles the small bud, eyes half lidded and broken moans falling from her lips. He brings his hand up to pinch the nipple of her breast, but is surprised when she stops him, guiding it to her throat instead.

Tim doesn't squeeze and instead just firmly rests his hand on the soft skin of her neck and something in Lucy softens, almost like she can relax with his hold on her. The orgasm shudders through her and Tim bites her shoulder to muffle his own moans while he fills the condom inside of her.

He sits back on his thighs, Lucy following as they both catch their breath, when he realizes his hand is still on her throat. Rather than pulling it away, he lets his fingers rest, feeling her speeding heart rate underneath them. Her eyes follow the movement as he drags his hand down and across her collarbone and over to the stitches on her arm again.

"Are you okay?" He asks and she gives him a soft smile. "I'm amazing," she sighs. "Are you?" Tim chuckles that she even thinks she has to ask. "No complaints here," he stands and removes the condom to tie it off, throwing it away in the on suite while Lucy begins to redress.

"Oh, Kojo!" He remarks, looking at the floor outside of his bedroom door. Scattered in multiple pieces is Lucy's shirt, shredded and forgotten about by the dog. "Bad dog," he scolds, gathering the pieces and turning to Lucy.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes. "I'll replace it."

"It's my fault," Lucy shakes her head. "Should know better than to leave clothes on the floor around an unattended dog." Tim scratches his head and walks over to his dresser, grabbing an old faded Dodgers t-shirt and holds it out to Lucy.

"Borrow mine to get home at least?"

She accepts it, throwing it on over her bra. "Thanks."

With Lucy gone, Tim grabs their list and a pen and sits at his kitchen table to review.

• Spanking

• Hair Pulling

• Dirty Talk

• Anal Play

• Edging

• Overstimulation

• Toys

• Restraints Light Restraints

• Subbing

• Face Fucking

He adds this last item as per her request tonight and reviews the rest. She'd loved having her hair pulled and her ass spanked red, asking for it harder, and he'll happily continue doing both. He knew she'd enjoy the praise side of dirty talk, but she seems to like some degradations, if her response to him calling her boot is any indication, and he intends to lean further into that.

When she bent over in front of him, he had to stop himself from touching her tight hole, and he was excited to move forward with anal whenever she was.

After she'd fallen apart so easily the last time he'd made her edge herself, he needed to edge her himself and have full control over her orgasms. To make her beg him to make her feel good.

He decides that the next time he has her over, she'll need to bring her toys, because he intends to make her come so many times she forgets her own name.

Putting the list away, Tim goes to bed, content with the fact that he took his work as a trainer very seriously.

Lucy considers how things have been going so far with her arrangement with Tim on the drive home.

First, she's enjoying it. A lot. When she's not at Tim's house, she's thinking about the next time she will be or if there's anything else she can add to her list, because she wants to make sure she explores and learns as much as she can.

Definitely not because she wants to extend their time together.

Second, he broke a rule. He used work as an excuse. It wasn't like he bent her over in the roll call room, but it toed over the guideline that they both set for good reason. She tried not to read too much into it, but then he whispered that he can't have her getting hurt again and gave her that look and she felt her chest thump.

She reminds herself that he was her training officer. It was literally in his job description to make sure that she didn't get hurt. He cares about her on a professional level.

It's nearly midnight when she arrives home, slowly pushing the door open and closing it quietly behind her so as to not wake Jackson.

"Where have you been all night?" Lucy jumps when she hears him speak from the couch in their living room.

"I was helping Tamara with a school project," she covers. "We ended up getting really deep into police procedures for a paper she's writing." Jackson nods, seemingly accepting her excuse.

"Since when are you a Dodgers fan?" He asks and Lucy's head tilts before she notices his eyes on her chest. Tim's shirt. Fuck. "Oh, Tamara let me borrow it. I spilt something on mine. Why are up this late?" She quickly changes the topic and Jackson stands, walking over to his bedroom.

"Couldn't sleep so I tried moving out here. Unfortunately, it didn't work."

"Did you try my tea?" She asks.

"No, but I think I'm just going to try some white noise in my room. I'll see you in the morning," he gently closes his door and Lucy pads to her bedroom and readies herself for sleep, thankful that Jackson didn't pry any further.

The following morning, the inquisitions continue in the ladies locker room.

"What's that on your shoulder?" She hears Nyla ask as she pulls on her uniform. Lucy touches the stitches again, reminded of how Tim did. "Just from yesterday."

"She's not talking about that," Angela smirks and Lucy looks in the mirror, seeing the red welt that Tim's mouth left on her. "Oh, I must have burnt myself with my curling iron or something."

Nyla and Angela exchange a glance. "Since when do curling irons have teeth?" Nyla jokes as the two ladies exit the locker room, quietly snickering and Lucy pulls out her phone to text Tim.

No more marks above the chest.

Chapter Text

Things between Tim and Lucy slow down for a couple of weeks. Not because either wants them to. In fact, Lucy hasn't gone a night without touching herself, picturing how he'd arched her back and held her hands back and fucked her so roughly that she was sore for days.

Instead, they both focus on work. Lucy keeps her attention on proving herself as a P2 and Tim is given a new rookie to train.

Katie Barnes.

Lucy introduces herself before roll call on her first day. She seems sweet, professional. Someone Lucy would like to work with or even be friends with. Then Tim is assigned to be her TO and suddenly Lucy feels differently.

It's a strange tightness in her chest accompanied by sudden irritation that she chooses to ignore.

The day continues and she rides with Jackson, only catching intermittent glances of Tim and Katie throughout their shifts, each one further exasperating that feeling that she doesn't quite understand.

"Who's that girl with Office Zaddy?" Tamara remarks at coffee with Lucy and Jackson, all three of them watching them at the truck.

Jackson chuckles. "That's, uh, Tim's new rookie. She just started."

"Huh, how's it feel to be replaced?" Tamara remarks and the jealousy hits Lucy a little harder. Obviously, Tim was going to get a new rookie, she just didn't expect her to be so… attractive.

"Uh, great!" Lucy replies. "I am happy for somebody else to be tormented by Tim for a change." And she means that. Sure, she liked certain parts of his training, but she sometimes has to remind herself that for the first month, he was particularly hard on her - walking next to the shop, making her buy all of his meals and coffees, doing all of the paperwork. With everything happening between them, she's seeing a whole new side of Tim that makes her forget just how difficult being his rookie was.

"Whoa," Jackson exclaims. "Is he paying for her coffee?"

Lucy looks over and Tim has his wallet out.

Her stomach tightens a little more.

He's paying for her coffee?

They walk back to the shop and Tim goes to the passenger side.

And he's letting her drive?

"So much for torment," Tamara smirks.

Lucy fakes a smile. "Oh, he is evil. He's luring her into a false sense of security and then bam. 'I've been shot, where are we boot?'"

She considers why he's treating Katie so differently than he'd treated her. Maybe he was just faking her out, another Tim Test.

Or maybe he just likes her as his rookie more than he liked Lucy as his rookie.

"I'm sorry, are you smiling?" Jackson lifts his brows. "All you did for the last year is complain about how Tim treated you and now you're happy he's doing it to her?"

"What? No, I-"

Tamara chuckles. "Do I sense a little jealousy?"

Lucy stands. "Absolutely not. We have to get on the streets," she says and heads to her shop.

Paying for Katie's coffee and letting her drive, Lucy could look past that. She couldn't look past him putting his hand on her shoulder though.

Tim and Katie had just taken down a suspect and Katie was at his side administering first aid, her Training Officer offering support via a hand on her shoulder.

"What the hell is that?" She says to Jackson before she can stop herself. "I saved his life on my first day and I didn't even get a fist bump."

She simmers for the rest of her shift and considers asking him for a lesson tonight, but ultimately throws her phone on her bed and leaves it alone rather than appearing desperate.

The next day is better. She doesn't see either of them once roll call passes and goes on about her day, until she finds him at the station at the end of his shift standing over a stack of paperwork and everything bubbles over.

"Day two and you're filling out the paperwork?"

Tim doesn't even give her the courtesy of looking up. "You got something to say, Chen?"

"Uh, yeah, I do. I…" she swallows and lowers her voice. "Why are you being so nice to her? My first few days on the job, you kicked me out of the car, tormented me. A month later, you stole my duty belt while I had to go pee," she rambles and Tim chuckles at the memory. "You called me 'boot' so many times, I used to get triggered when I went shoe shopping."

Tim's eyes scan the room, confirming there's no one near by. "And now that word has a different effect on you, huh?" He smirks but Lucy doesn't find it funny and rolls her eyes. "Look," he continues. "Officer Barnes has other issues."

Lucy scoffs. "Like what? Like she's fit and beautiful and smart - "

"She won't wear perfume," he interrupts her rant.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Look, I teach my recruits according to what they need," he says, his tone serious. "Officer Barnes won't wear perfume because she's worried she'll give away her position. A part of her is still waging a war in Afghanistan, and if she's gonna be a cop, that has to go."

God, she feels so stupid right now.

"You are a kind and insightful person," he tells her. "You see the good in people. So much so that I had to show you the world can be a scary place. Officer Barnes only sees a scary place. She needs to know that not everyone's out to hurt her."

Lucy exhales and places her hand on the back of her neck. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I think so," he smiles. "And who knows? One day, she might even be as good as you."

Tim leaves her there, flustered and smiling at his compliment. It isn't until she's changed in the locker room that her phone pings.

Time for another lesson. Come over tonight, bring your toys.

Lucy does as she's told and shows up at Tim's place with a canvas bag of her toys along with his Dodgers shirt, washed and folded. Tim takes the bag from her and goes to walk to his bedroom when Lucy stops him.

"Tim?" He turns to look at her, brows furrowed. "Look, I'm… I'm sorry about today."

His head tilts and his lips quirk up at the sides. "Why? You're cute when your jealous," he quips and Lucy's jaw drops. "I was not jealous," she argues with absolutely no conviction and Tim gives her a pointed look.

"Okay, fine," she rolls her eyes. "Maybe I was a little jealous. But, you were being so nice to her…"

Tim steps closer. "And I told you, that's how she needed to be trained. I know what you need, Lucy. I think I've proven that," he says, pinching her chin between his thumb and index finger and bringing his eyes to her own.

"But, you know what? I'm a little offended that you'd even consider that I'd treat my rookies different because of how they look," he teases. "Do you have any idea how different your training would have been if I'd let this pretty face distract me?"

If Lucy's cheeks weren't already flushed red from embarrassment, Tim's comment surely would have made her blush.

His hand brushes down her body and slides under her pants, down into her underwear. One finger drags through her slit, gathering her wetness.

"Besides, would you really have wanted me to treat you differently? Because I think you liked it, boot."

Lucy gasps as he thrusts two fingers inside of her without warning, only pumping a handful of times before removing them.

Tim pulls his hand out of her pants, bringing them to her mouth and she willing accepts, tasting herself on his digits. "Now, is there anything else you want to get off your chest before I prove to you that you have no reason to be jealous?"

She pops off his fingers with a grin. "No, sir."

Guiding Lucy into his bedroom, Tim throws the bag on the bed, the contents spilling onto the comforter. She picks up the shirt and folds it neatly before handing it to him. "I washed it already."

Tim finds himself disappointed that it wouldn't smell like her anymore, but thanks her anyway.

He scans the toys on his bed while Lucy blushes next to him. A pink dildo, a small plug, a sample sized bottle of lube, and three other toys. "Tell me about them."

A crease forms between her brows. "What do you mean?"

"Which one's your favorite? Have you used any of them with partners?"

She bites her lip as she thinks and then points to the small, rose shaped vibrator. "I had a friend use this on me a couple of years ago, while we were in grad school. I used it on her too." Tim's jaw goes slack making Lucy giggle. "I've never used a toy with a guy though."

Tim scoffs. "That's changing tonight."

Lucy picks up the U-shaped vibrator. "I like this one a lot."

Tim picks up the plug, brows raised in question.

"I haven't used that one yet. Just figured I'd be prepared," she answers and Tim smiles her response.

The next moments are a blur of intertwined lips, wanting hands, and thrown fabric, all of it ending with each of them naked on top of Tim's bed with his face buried between Lucy's thighs.

His tongue works her clit expertly while his arms wrap around her thighs, pulling her closer to his mouth. She has her hands laced through his hair and her hips are grinding into him, looking for more. "That feels so good, Tim," she sighs as she feels her orgasm approaching and he groans into her, suctioning his lips around the bundle of nerves before flicking his tongue.

She comes softly, Tim swallowing everything down while she moans and bucks her hips as she rides it out. Her head falls back, chest heaving, eyes closed, and pussy throbbing, but shoots back up when she feels vibrations on her already sensitive clit.

"Ohmygod!" She shouts out as Tim holds the rose toy directly on her clit.

"Overstimulation was on your list, wasn't it?" He smirks, turning the toy up to the next setting and Lucy's legs instinctively start to close, but Tim kneels between them, keeping them spread. As he holds it there, the overstimulation quickly turns into the need for more. "How many times do you think you can come tonight?"

Her eyes ares screwed shut, hips already quivering as her breaths begin to shorten. Tim pinches one of her pebbled nipples between his fingers, making her toes curl. "Answer me, boot."

The waves of the vibration on her swollen cunt are so unexpected and have her unable to think straight, her second orgasm blooming deep in her core already. "I-I don't know. Fuck, fuck, I'm coming," she barely gets the words out before falling apart again, hands tangled in the blankets beneath her.

Tim finally gives her a moment of reprieve when he removes the toy. "I think five is a good number."

"Five?!" She knows her brows must shoot up to her forehead. Lucy had made herself come twice in one night once before, maybe three times, but never five. Tim leans forward and meets her lips with his own. "Do you want to stop, Lucy?" He whispers gently in her ear and she shakes her head.

"No."

"Good girl, just say the word if you change your mind," he kisses her again before standing up and pulling her with him. "I want you to suck my cock," he tells her. "And you're going to use your favorite toy on yourself while you do."

Tim is being more commanding than usual and it's bringing Lucy back to how he treated her when he was her training officer and what she'd liked about it. So commanding and powerful and fucking hot. Her pussy is aching now, ready to be filled and she drops to her knees, toy in hand.

He's rock hard and leaking and she doesn't hesitate, taking it into her mouth and feeling his weight on her tongue. Lucy loved to keep her eyes open while she did this, to see him lose his inhibitions and watch his reactions, but when she turns the toy on and places it on her cunt, they roll back in her head.

She pulls off and spits on his cock, wetting it so that she can use her hand to stroke the length that's not in her mouth. Her hair keeps falling in her face and she smiles when Tim gently brushes it out of the way and holds it back. The idea of his hands on her head have her hips thrusting as she imagines him fucking into her throat and making her gag.

Lucy moans around him, her third orgasm approaching and Tim needs her to come so he can fuck her. "So fucking good for me, boot. Let me see you come with my cock down your throat."

The words have her tumbling over the edge and she pops off of Tim's length. Any shame that she might have had prior disappears as the orgasm washes over her. Leaning back on her arm while she holds the vibe in place, her hips roll into it and she throws her head back, letting out a soft string of moans.

Tim grabs a condom from his nightstand and rolls it on while Lucy rises to her feet. Before laying her on the bed, he makes sure her vibrator, the wand one, is in reach. With Lucy in her back at her edge of the bed, he hoists her ankles over his shoulders and takes a second to look at her. Three orgasms deep and her hair is a mess around her face, pinkened cheeks and blown out pupils. Her pussy is positively soaked, her wetness glistening all the way down to her inner thighs.

She looks ethereal.

In one fluid thrust, he's deep inside of her and Lucy's mouth opens in a gasp.

He considers dragging it out, but he's already so close he knows that it's not a viable option. Instead, he grabs the vibrator and places it on her clit on the lowest setting. "Two more, Lucy, can you get there?"

"Yes, yes, yes…" she moans as he fucks into her. Her breasts bounce with each sharp thrust in a way that has Tim hypnotized and her moans are like the song of a siren - everything about her just drawing him closer. He turns the vibrator up to the next setting and Lucy bites her lip to stop herself from screaming. "Don't hold back, boot. I want to hear you come," he orders and her eyes squeeze shut as her fourth orgasm overtakes her and Tim nearly comes with her when her cunt squeezes around him.

"It's too much," she whimpers, the convulsions still taking over her body as he hands try to push the toy away, but Tim holds it where it is, pressing harder. "One more," he encourages her. "I'm keeping it on your clit until you give me one more like the good little slut you are."

Her legs have fallen off of his shoulders now and are spread wide and shaking around his hips. Suddenly, she sits up on her forearms, eyes wide and worried as she looks down at where their bodies meet. "Oh my god, Tim, wait," she stutters out, but before he can stop, she's fallen back and has her hands covering her face and she comes so hard she pushes him out of her.

Tim's jaw drops as her thighs, his comforter, his cock and hips are all soaked when she squirts from the intensity of her orgasm. He rips the condom off and jerks himself off at the image, her pussy contracting while white ropes of his come land across the small patch of hair at the top of her cunt.

Lucy sits up on the bed, legs closed and cheeks red. "I'm so sorry. I'll get everything dry cleaned. That's never happened before."

Tim is still breathing heavy, coming down from his own orgasm. "Don't be sorry. That was the hottest thing I've ever seen, Lucy. Any guy you do that for will like it."

The last sentence serves as a reminder to both of them. This is just training. He's her superior officer and they can't be more.

"Right," Lucy nods, a fake smile plastered on her face. "Any guy."

Chapter Text

It's been more than a week since he'd had Lucy on his bed last, shaking from her fifth orgasm, both of them covered in eachothers come. He's always had good sex. The sex with Lucy though? It was other worldly - warm and passionate. She was so responsive to the way he touched her and reading her came naturally.

Of course you can read her, he reminds himself. You trained her for a year.

"What's the deal?" Angela asks as she walks over to Tim in the bullpen, pulling him away from his thoughts. "You don't wanna hang out with me anymore?"

Tim looks up from the stack of paperwork he's been hunched over. "What are you talking about?"

The detective holds up three fingers. "The last three times I've asked you out for drinks you've said no."

He thinks back on the last few times she'd asked him to hang out. One denial truly was because he was tired. The other two were Lucy related. "So what have you been up to instead of hanging out with your bestie?" She interrupts his thoughts.

"I don't have besties," he gripes. "I've just been exhausted from work and don't feel like spending my free time at a bar."

She rolls her eyes. "Well it's my birthday weekend. We're all going to Los Torres tonight and you better be there. Besides, maybe it's time you put yourself back on the market, find a plus one for my wedding," she winks.

Tim quickly relents, deciding that it's not worth the fight. "Fine, I'll be there."

Any guy.

Adorned in jeans that hug her hips and a snug black tank top that probably dips a little lower than it should, Lucy replays the words in her head while she finishes her makeup. He'd said it only seconds after he'd done to her what no one ever had before, not even herself. After he'd made her feel incredible.

Would any guy actually be able to make her feel the way that Tim does?

Everyone is gathered around a table at the packed bar. Jackson to her left and Nolan to her right, she's directly across from Tim. Angela and Wesley sit on one side of him while James and Nyla take the other. All of them are having loud, chatty conversations over their beers and the two of them silently agree to not acknowledge the other.

"So, Lucy, you ready to get back out there tonight?" Jackson asks her in a teasing tone. "By the way those jeans look on you, I'd say yes."

Lucy laughs and shakes her head. "Not exactly. I'm really just enjoying my time being single right now."

"I'm sure you are," Angela grins and takes a swig of her beer and Nyla chuckles next to her. "How's your neck doing by the way?" Instinctively, Lucy feels heat rise to her cheeks and brings her hand to where Tim had marked her.

"It's been a few weeks, I'm sure it's healed by now," Nyla smirks. "It's fine. I told you, it was from my curling iron anyway," Lucy lies through her teeth, fully aware that no one is buying it.

"Mhm," Angela hums. "Well, I hope you're having fun with the guy. Must be good if you're letting him do that to you." She waves her hands up and down, gesturing over Lucy's clearly flustered appearance.

She scans the table, not because she cares what anyone else thinks, but because she needs to know how Tim is handing this scrutiny. He meets her gaze, eyes narrowed and head tilted. He wears a small smirk across his face, almost like he's getting pleasure out of her torture.

"Oh my god, I didn't think I'd be getting the fifth degree over drinks tonight," she groans to the table.

Angela, thankfully, seems to accept this answer and let it go. "Tim, come help me grab another round."

Tim follows behind Angela who promptly orders another round of tequila shots for the table. "You know, Timothy, we've been friends for a long time," she grins.

"I believe you called yourself my bestie?"

"Yes," she agrees, whole heartedly. "I've also been a detective for a while now. And Harper? She's a really good detective. Picks up on everything."

His arms stack across his chest. "What's your point, Angela?"

She stays leaning on the bar, face forward. "For what it's worth, I think you guys work well together."

His jaw clenches. "What are you talking about?"

"I've seen the way you look at her. But don't worry," she grabs the tray of shot glasses off the bar. "I know nothing," she grins and walks away, leaving Tim conflicted with his thoughts.

Two hours pass by, drinks continuing to pour. Jackson, Nyla, Angela, and Lucy are all on the dance floor while the men stay at their table, talking sports and law procedure.

He's fully aware that he's not being sly by keeping his eyes on Lucy, but he can't help it. The way her jeans hug those full hips, hair bouncing around her face as she dances to the music, any guy with eyes would look at least once.

Giddy and laughing, Nyla and Angela stumble over to them and Wesley stands. "That's my queue to get her home," he says and James follows suit, the two couples heading out the front door of the still busy bar. When Jackson stumbles over, Nolan grabs his arm, steadying him. "I'll give you a lift home. Where's Lucy?"

"Said she's gonna grab a night cap and close her tab. She'll call an Uber," he slurs.

Tim's brow furrows as he scans the bar for her. There's so many people and his heart rate calms when he's sees her handing her card to the bartender and pulling out her phone.

"I'll make sure she gets home safe, you guys head out." Tim sees Jackson and Nolan out before his phone pings.

Meet me in the bathroom.

He considers what Angela said, clearly aware of something going on between him and Lucy, and he tries to be logical. There's a reason they have a rule to keep this confined to his house.

But, since everyone has already left and there's no logic when it comes to Lucy and those jeans, he saunters over to the hallway that hosts the bathrooms.

He knocks before opening the door and is promptly pushed back against it, the sound of the clicking lock echoing in the dimly lit room.

"Hi," she whispers against his mouth and he can taste the tequila on her tongue.

Tim gently pushes her off. "How much have you had to drink?"

"I took two shots all night, Tim. It's just enough to give me the courage to ask for a new lesson."

He smiles and puts his lips back on hers. "And what lesson is that?"

"I want you to fuck me here, Tim," she whispers into his ear, her warm breath sending chills down his spine. "With all those people outside who could hear us."

Exhibitionism?

Tim groans, eagerly nodding his head, but the excitement quickly dies as he remembers he doesn't have a condom. "Do you have protection?"

She groans, frustrated. "Fuck… I don't." He expects her to stop. To forget about it, pay her tab, and they'll both go home. Instead, she kisses a trail down his neck and then drops into a squatting position, eyes level with his crotch.

Maybe it's the bit of tequila in her system, but there's no timidity in her movements as she undoes his pants and pulls out his hard cock, thick and pulsating. "Can you be quiet for me, Tim?"

His brows lift and he smiles at this dirty side coming out of her. All he can do is bob his head yes while she looks up at him from below and wets his length, gliding her tongue along the underside with enough pressure to make him sigh.

"Fuck, Luc," he groans as she increases her pace and uses a hand to cradle her balls. She takes him further and further down her throat, eyes watering as she gags when her nose hits the tuft of hair at the base of his groin.

"You have no idea how much I want to fuck that pretty little face right now," he grits out through clenched teeth. "But I can't make a mess of you before we go back out there."

She places both hands on his thighs and looks up at him. "I want to try it. Do it and I'll tap you if I need you to stop." He brushes a hair out of her face. "You're sure?"

She nods again. "Yes, I want you to show me what I can handle. You said you'd train me, so train me, Tim." Her mouth opens again and she takes him deep in her throat.

He weaves his hands in her hair and moves cautiously at first, admiring how easily she seems to swallow him. Slowly, he increases his pace, thrusting his hips gently and groaning at the filthy sounds Lucy's throat makes as she accepts it.

With her nose on his groin again, Tim holds her there. He doesn't put any pressure or thrust himself further into her face, but he doesn't thrust his hips back either. She taps his thigh and he immediately lets go and she pulls off, gasping and smiling up at him.

"Was that okay?"

She nods and continues jerking him with her hand, the wet noise the only thing between them. When she brings his tip to her mouth and sucks, she feels him tense and his hips falter, and she can tell he's close.

"Come in my mouth. I want to taste you," she moans and Tim has to bite his fist to keep himself from behind heard. She continues her assault on him, sucking and licking until he falls over the edge, white ropes of come landing across her tongue, which she swallows greedily.

She works him until he's too senstive and then stands, wiping the corner of her lips.

"I liked that," she grins and Tim chuckles. "Not as much as I did."

Lucy washes her hands in the sink and wipes her face off before turning to the door. "Wait," Tim stops her. "Do you want to come over?"

She offers a soft smile. "Yeah, I do."

By the time they pull into Tim's driveway, the alcohol has worn off, but both of them still tense and heated from the bar.

"Where are the toys I left here?" She asks, mouth on his and hands on his lapels, pushing him into his bedroom.

His lips barely leave hers. "Nightstand, with the condoms."

They both strip off their own clothes, too eager to wait, and Tim pushes her on the bed before pulling the drawer open.

"Which toy did you want?"

"The plug."

Tim takes it out, along with the lube and a condom and lays it next to her on the bed. She feels little sparks of electricity as he kisses down her neck, chest, and stomach, nipping and then soothing with his tongue while he works his way down her body.

She moans when he takes her clit into his mouth and carefully slides two fingers into her cunt. His fingers crooked so he hits the perfect spot inside of her, Tim plays with her pussy, gathering her wetness on her fingers before pulling them out and sitting up.

He slides one finger down, and circles the tight ring before gently applying pressure. "You need to talk to me, Lucy. How is that?"

"It's… interesting," she admits.

Grabbing the lube, applies it to his digit and returns it, carefully pressing in to his first knuckle, while the other hand rubs soft circles on her clit.

"That feels good," Lucy sighs and Tim presses further, moving the finger in and out, adding more and more until it reaches the second knuckle.

He continues, and when she's finally more relaxed he's able to put his whole finger in, easily dragging it past the tight muscle. "I'm gonna add the plug now," he says and Lucy nods in agreement.

It's not much thicker than his finger, but even after applying a generous amount of lube, he has to use a small amount of pressure. He continues rubbing her clit an Lucy lets out a sharp gasp as the plug fully enters her ass.

"How does it feel?"

She swallows, her pussy clenching around nothing. Between Tim fucking her mouth in the bar bathroom and now this, she's aching to have him fill her hole.

"Full," she moans. "Good. But, I want you to fuck me."

She sits up and grabs the condom to roll it on, hyper aware of the toy inside of her. He goes to lay on top of her, but she stops him. "I want to be on top."

Tim lays on the bed and Lucy straddles him, lining his cock up with her entrance and slowly dropping down onto his cock.

She throws her head back as she bottoms out, settling her hips on top of him. "Holy shit, you feel so big like this," she moans, her eyes fluttering shut as she begins to rock against him. The toy in her ass makes her feel even tighter than usual, and Tim has to grip the bed sheets to hold back.

Lucy steadies herself with her hands on his chest, pushing her breasts together, and begins thrusting her hips, the angle making Tim's cock repeatedly his the perfect spot inside of her.

He places his hands on her thighs with a bruising grip and helps her maintain a steady pace as she rolls against him. Lucy can feel her orgasm inside her growing, the feeling deeper and more intense than usual. She uses one hand to pinch a hardened nipples nad Tim raises his head, taking the other in his mouth.

"I'm so close," she whines. "Please don't stop, please." Lucy isn't sure why she's begging him or why she sounds so needy, all she knows is she is right there.

He doesn't falter, keeping his movements steady as he talks to her. "So fucking desperate, boot. Just for me," he pants out. "Let me feel you come on my cock. Get yourself there," he orders, using that same tone of voice he'd used during her training, and Lucy collapses on top of him.

Her orgasm wracks through her body, strings of whines and moans leaving her lips and settling in his ear. As her pussy flutters around him, squeezing him, he can feel the plug press into the underside of his cock through her wall and he holds her hips down as he reaches his own finish with a growl.

Lucy rolls off of him, chest heaving from her orgasm, and Tim rolls on his side, carefully removing the toy from her and bringing it to the bathroom where he cleans it.

He returns to see Lucy fully dressed. "I'm going to call a car," she says and Tim scoffs. "You live ten minutes away," he throws on his sweatpants. "I'm giving you a ride."

They drive to her apartment in a comfortable silence, the road lights illumining his truck in flashes as he steers through the city streets. Pulling up to her building, he unlocks the doors for her.

"We're, uh. We're almost done with your list." He stumbles out. "Why don't you come over tomorrow? We can see where we're at and reevaluate?"

And add to it, he hopes, silently.

A grin that reaches her eyes spreads across her cheeks before she steps out of the truck. "Sure.

Lucy's asleep the second her head it's the pillow, the adrenaline from what she did at the bar with Tim finally coming down in a hard crash. She sleeps peacefully, the feel of Tim against her still lingering on her skin.

The sun shining through her window wakes her up, along with the smell of fresh coffee and light chattering between Jackson and Tamara. Wiping the sleep out of her eyes, she uses the bathroom and throws on a sweatshirt before heading outside.

"Hey," she greets Tamara and pours herself a mug. "What are you doing here so early?"

"It's after ten," she remarks and Lucy sighs, joining them in the living room. "Right, sorry. Late night."

Jackson takes a sip from his cup. "What time did you get it last night? I thought you were catching an car right behind me and Nolan, but I passed out pretty quickly."

Her mind flashes back to the bar bathroom and Tim's hands laced through her hair. "Just ended up having one more drink before closing my tab. I don't think I got in much later than you."

"Just a drink? Didn't meet anyone new at the bar? Someone who leaves marks on your neck?"

Lucy shoots him a pointed look. "Ohhh," Tamara pries. "Could this have anything to do with that Dodgers t-shirt you supposedly borrowed from me? Something I've never even owned?"

Lucy jaw drops and she looks at Jackson, who's biting back a grin.

"Hey, now that I think about it, isn't Tim a big Dodgers fan?" Jackson smirks and Lucy's eyes grow wide.

"Oh my god! There is a guy that I hooked up with once, but that's it," she lies to her friends. "It definitely wasn't Tim, nothing came of it, and it's over. So let's just forget it."

Jackson lifts his hands in surrender. "Forgotten."

"Sorry," Tamara says lowly.

"It's fine. I know you guys just care," Lucy says standing. "I'm going to get dressed and go to the farmers market if you want to join."

Heart still racing, she turns on her heel and heads to her room. Realizing that they might have been caught flings her back into reality.

While Jackson and Tamara wouldn't judge her, being caught could hurt their reputations at the station, and so she picks up her phone.

Hey, something came up. I need to cancel today.

Chapter Text

The message from Lucy was disappointing, but Tim found himself accepting it. What else was there to do? There was too much heat and electricity between them last night to think logically, both of their decisions made under the influence of alcohol and lust. While he can't be sure of her reason for cancelling, he can take it as a sign to slow down.

He couldn't ignore his feelings for her anymore, whatever they were.

There were the feelings he developed within their work relationship, before the list.

She was the short, tenacious, stubborn woman who proved herself over and over again, constantly impressing him. She'd saved his life and he'd saved hers. He cared about Lucy in the same way a training officer should care for his rookie or a person should care about a good friend. Hell, the only reason this started was because he saw his friend hurting and wanted to help her in any way he could.

Then there were the feelings that developed after the list.

Since they began, it had become a possibility to him that maybe, maybe his feelings towards her are more than just platonic. She'd shown so much of herself to him the last couple of months, things that no other man had seen. Still the tenacious and stubborn woman he'd trained before, but now more vulnerable and open.

The whole point of this was for Lucy to learn more about herself sexually without judgement from someone. Tim was that someone. And once they were done, she would start dating again, as a confident, sexual woman.

He'll leave the ball in her court and, as long as she'll let him teach her, he'll keep ignoring his feelings.

Lucy feels bad that she, for lack of a better term, ghosted Tim. Or, at least the Tim that she's been seeing behind closed doors.

She'd always driven home from his place after their lessons in a good mood.

Not once did she feel used or taken advantage of. God knows she'd never left unsatisfied. She came out with more confidence in herself each time.

Slowly though, she'd begun to catch herself wondering.

Wondering what if would have been like if she didn't have to drive home after.

Or even get dressed.

Wondering what it would have been like to fall asleep next to Tim, nuzzled in his arms until they woke up next to each other and have the slow, gentle sex that she'd wanted to add to the list, but couldn't find the right way to ask.

Wondering if he'd felt the same, ultimately coming to the conclusion that he never would. That's why they made the rules.

1. Keep it away from work. Broken. He'd used her mistake at work as an excuse to punish her and she'd embarrassed herself over jealousy of a peer.

2. Don't tell anyone. Cracked. Jackson and Tamara had both insinuated they knew something was going on with her and Tim. It was getting too close.

3. Keep it in the house. Destroyed. Last night at the bar was a risk. Someone could have came back in or there could have been someone else that saw them sneak out of the bathroom.

4. No feelings. Scratched. It's the only rule that they haven't actually broken yet. Not exactly. She cared about Tim, there was no denying that, but she had for a long time now, so the rule was still intact. The sex was good, great even, and a learning opportunity for her. The physical europhia and self growth that came during and after was why she found herself craving more. It had nothing to do with the fact that Tim's body and words made her feel this way, or how he'd been able to give her exactly what she needed so easily. It wasn't the person; it was the act. At least that's what she tries to convince herself.

Weeks pass by, both of them heads down, buried in work. Tim's officially been named Angela's Man of Honor and he finds it should come with a paystub, since it's basically taken over all of his free time.

Finding a place to host a bachelorette party, gathering RSVPs from a cluster of cops that believe the first marriage is destined to fail, managing Patrice…

It was all incredibly new to him and overwhelming, yet helpfully allowing him to ignore the pint sized cop that kept strolling through his thoughts.

Angela's text comes while he's mid walk with Kojo.

911

Bribing the dog with a steak to get them both home, Tim acts instinctively, getting in his car and speeding to her location: a bridal shop.

He hustles in and is directed to the back of the establishment where he's met with a teary eyed Angela, draped in too many layers of tulle and glitter.

"You okay? What's going on?"

She lifts the garment, gesturing to her baby bump. "This."

"You're in labor?" He panics. "No," she shakes her head. "The baby's fine… I just never thought I'd have to choose a dress based on how well it hides my belly," Angela sniffles.

Tim grimaces. "Who said you have to hide your belly?"

"My bridesmaids. They said this covers it best… so I kicked them out and texted you."

His worried morphs into disbelief. "You text me '911' on my day off to ask me if a dress makes you look fat?" He asks, the Man of Honor duties testing him in entirely new ways.

"Does it?"

"Yes! You're pregnant," he answers honestly. "Are you ashamed of your baby?"

Angela drops her head to the side. "Of course not."

"Okay, then who cares what your friends think? Show off that baby belly."

If you'd asked Tim a month ago if he'd ever willingly spend two hours dress shopping, he would have laughed in your face. But here he was, sitting on a couch with a glass of champagne, watching his best friend try on dresses while he offers her words of encouragement to keep the baby horomones at ease.

Angela finally finds a dress that she loves, one that accentuates her bump and sparkles as much as she does, when they're distracted by a loud crash in the lobby and are greeted with two women fighting over a dress.

Tim could get involved, but it's his day off, so he opts to film the altercation for evidence for whichever cops show up, and Lucy and Jackson walk in only moments later.

"Are you helping her find her wedding dress?" Lucy swoons and Tim rolls his eyes. "Right now I'm watching you not do your job."

Angela and Tim watch as their former rookies handle the situation, laughing when they get sprayed down with champagne and covered in loose feathers.

"They grow up so fast, don't they?" Angela chuckles.

He keeps the camera on Lucy as she straddles one of the women and puts cuffs on her. "Looking good, Officer Chen," he grins, smirking when she shoots him an annoyed look.

The two women are taken out in cuffs and Angela changes back into her clothes before paying for the dress. "You hungry?" She asks.

"No," he shakes his head. "But, I'm assuming you are?"

"Good assumption," she winks. "We're grabbing lunch."

Jackson and Lucy settle back into their shop once the women from the dress shop are processed.

"Oh, hey, you've still got a feather on you," Lucy laughs while she plucks one from his collar. "I can't believe they sprayed champagne on us," he groans. "My uniform still smells."

"Just give it to me. I was planning on doing laundry tonight anyway, I don't mind throwing yours in with my load," she offers.

"I'd appreciate that, but…" he trails off. She looks over and finds him smirking and the space between her brows creases.

"What?"

"I've just noticed that you haven't been going out at night lately… at least not like you used to."

She sighs. Jackson had said he'd forget about it all those weeks ago when he and Tamara had grilled her in their living room, but she's unsurprised that he's broaching the topic again.

"I told you, it was a one time thing and nothing more came of it," she repeats her lie that she originally told him.

"Why not?"

Okay, so it's not a complete lie - it happened more than once, but nothing ever did come of it, because nothing was supposed to.

"It was just a one night stand."

"You don't do one night stands," he argues.

"I did this time," she defends herself.

"So it wouldn't have anything to do with this guy being your old training officer?"

Rule two, broken.

Her heart races as she stutters out her response. "No, it wasn't… he wouldn't… I wouldn't do something like that. I-it would be inappropriate."

Jackson has a shit-eating grin on his face now. "Please, Lucy. I clocked you and Nolan. Did you think this would go over my head?"

"You can't say anything," she pleads with him. "It really did end up being… nothing." Jackson drops the smile and grabs her hand, hearing the sadness in her voice.

"You know I wouldn't do that."

Tim and Angela wind up at a small Mexican joint, a burrito in her hand. "So, what's going on with you and Lucy?"

He answers honestly. "Nothing." Because right now, nothing was going on with him and Lucy.

Angela purses her lips. "Okay, then what was going on with you two?"

"I told you this at your birthday, nothing."

"Can we cut the crap? I've seen how you look at her," Angela replies. "And don't give me the whole 'she was my rookie, I'm just looking out for her,' crap, because Jackson was my rookie and I've never once given him eyes like you give Lucy."

When Tim doesn't offer a response, she keeps talking. "I already had my suspicions, with you ignoring my invites to hang out after work. Then I overhead Jackson asking Lucy if she was going to be out late at Tamara's again and saw the bite mark on her shoulder and everything started lining up."

His face hardens and he almost feels sick.

"The way you looked at her at the bar when I asked if she was hooking up with anyone and the way you just watched her in the dress shop?" She softens her look. "You like her."

He feels a sinking feeling in his chest.

"It doesn't matter."

She furrows her brow. "Why not?"

Tim tells her everything. How her breakup led to their agreement, how it was only supposed to be physical and how Lucy seemed to keep her end of the bargain, but he was having more trouble with it than he thought he would.

He tells her about the sex. Not in detail, just that it was different with her.

He tells her how they haven't seen each other in over a month because Lucy had cancelled.

He tells her that Lucy is going to find another man and he'll go back to being nothing more than a coworker to her again, but that's what they'd agreed to.

"You're sure that you're not what she wants?"

Tim shrugs. "I can't be."

"Why not?"

"I was her training officer. It would be unprofessional and inappropriate," he replies, the words serving as a reminder to himself.

"Key work: was. She's proven herself and you're no longer her superior, there's nothing wrong with it," she explains like it's simple and Tim considers her reasoning.

Would telling her how he feels be worth the risk?

Chapter Text

Six weeks had passed since their night at the bar. Six weeks of tension filled glances at the station and neither of them mustering up the courage to ask the other to continue with her list.

Instead, it sat in a drawer at Tim's house, collecting dust.

Tim and Lucy rarely ride together anymore, only seated shoulder to shoulder on the rare days that Gray requests it, so there's minimal time to talk anyway, not that either was ready to.

While he was busy with Angela's wedding, Lucy was exploring undercover work with the assistance of Nyla. She'd already done a small op as a chemist, where they'd successfully arrested the assailants. Aside from being blind sided with a gun in a limo, it was relatively simple and straight forward, and ended there.

At least she thought it did until Sergeant Gray called her into his office, along with Nyla.

"You hear about the mass casualty even this morning?" He asked, arms crossed over his chest.

"Yes, sir, but we knew a gang war was coming, right?"

"Yes and it's far from over. Which, detective Harper tells me presents an opportunity."

Confused, Lucy looks at the detective. "In times of chaos like this, it's not just the criminal pecking order that gets shaken up. Undercover operations get upended. Long term UCs and CIs are neutered when their bosses get killed or caught. But, the upheaval also gives us a chance to put new UCs in the field," Nyla explains.

Lucy smiles, flecks of excitement blooming across her face.

"I got a call from June Zhang this morning. Aldo Salonga is out of prison, and he is desperate to cook product to move. So he called her cover identity and asked about you."

Her brows shoot up. "You want me to go back in as the chemist?"

"June is already up on another operation, so she told Salonga that you might be available," Nyla confirms.

"I'm ready," Lucy replies eagerly.

"Not so fast," Harper shakes her head. "This wouldn't be a sting operation like the last time. This would probably be a long term placement."

"Which means you'll be on our own, without a surveillance team or access to immediate backup," Gray adds on.

"It normally takes months to properly train an officer to go deep undercover like this. Hundreds of hours of classroom and field training," Harper stresses and a tinge a fear begins to spike in Lucy's chest, along with the anticipation.

"I told Detective Harper she has today to evaluate your readiness. If she doesn't sign off with confidence that you can handle it, I will not approve the assignment."

"Yes, sir. I won't let you down."

"It's not about letting me down, Officer Chen," Gray replies sternly. "There's no failure in finding yourself unprepared for a job you did not prepare for. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Go get changed," Harper orders. "I'm throwing you in the deep end."

There ends up being three phases to Nyla's training.

First, understanding that there are three complicated streams of consciousness going through your mind at all times when you're undercover. Nyla brings Lucy to a party where she is her undercover persona, Nova Lin. Nyla watches how well she contains her composure when grilled with questions about cooking and her weapon. They even use Tamara as bait at one point, seeing how she responds to the distraction.

It isn't until the second phase that she knows that the man at the party was also placed by Harper. Sergeant Mark Murray, the same man who would be teaching her the ins and outs of cooking. They spend hours in the narcotics lab, making sure she's fully prepared to handle anything that might happen during her op.

It's the third phase that shakes her, that makes her question if she does want to do this. Tied up, head covered, and thrown in the back of a van by two masked men who overpower her and it takes every drop of courage within herself to not spiral back to Caleb.

She's dragged across the roof of a building where they rip off the head covering. Her stomach sinks when she sees Nyla in the same situation, blood running from her temple.

"We know your cops," the masked man declared, but Lucy denied everything.

"Tell me what the cops know about Mr. Salonga's operation," he ordered as he poured gasoline over Harper's body.

Lucy isn't sure where her courage and conviction came from. Maybe it was watching the fearless Nyla scream and cry in front of her or just pure adrenaline, but it pours out of her, seamlessly. She stayed as calm and collected as anyone in that situation possibly could.

"Word on the street is he's in a lot of debt to some really bad people and I'm the only one who can get him out of it by cooking him up a fortune. But I am not gonna do that if you hurt us. So pull your head out of your ass and let her go."

He didn't fight back or argue anymore. Instead, he snickered.

"She's pretty good," Mark had said while he pulled off his mask. "Of course she is," Nyla chuckles while she removes her restraints. "I taught her everything she knows."

She'd felt a weight off of her shoulders, all of the fear and anxiety melting away, quickly replaced with rage.

"How could you do that? After knowing what I've been through?" She practically screamed the words at Harper, but the detective stood her ground.

"I needed to see how you would react. More importantly, you needed to see how you would react. So I'm asking you one last time: are you sure you want to do this?"

Lucy's head spins as she considers everything. She recalls the way she'd felt when that man held a gun to her in the limo, how unexpectedly horrifying it way. Then she recalls how well she handled herself under that pressure and how incredible that rush had felt.

This is what she was meant to do.

"Yeah, I do."

Tim knew she was interested in undercover work. He saw the way her eyes lit up when she heard the tail end of Harper's speech at the expo, back when she was still his rookie.

He'd tried to stop it. When she'd spun around in the roll call room and showed off her outfit for the first op she'd ever do, he was able to get her to sit down with a single look. Harper shut him down quickly and he'd left the room, but he'd heard pieces of their conversation.

"His problems with undercover work are his to deal with."

His problems with undercover work weren't just a concern for his rookies safety. No - his life was upended because of his wife's undercover work. He'd spent countless nights alone in their home, sitting and waiting for the phone to ring, never knowing whether it would be her calling and asking for money or the hospital, letting him know that she'd overdosed again.

After enough time passed, he knew that the latter was significantly more likely.

"I thought he'd be proud of me."

Lucy's shaken response had his anger dissipating. He was proud of her.

But, he was also worried, and why wouldn't he be? It's a natural response, given his history. Given their history.

It had gone off seamlessly with Lucy, once again, proving herself to be an outstanding cop.

But that was before.

Now his heart fluttered in a different way when he looked at her, new layers of concern branching through his nerves that weren't quite there before, because this new assignment is after.

Angela kept him busy while Lucy was away, deciding to plan a last minute elopement to Wesley. His worry ended up buried underneath discussions of music choices, cake flavors, and venue decor.

It's not until him and west pull over a red truck that all of of that anything wedding related completely dissipates from his thoughts, only to be replaced by one thing.

Lucy.

"What's our play here?" Jackson asks and Tim keeps himself level, professional. "We treat it like any other stop, but we do not run anyone in that car," he instructs before stepping out.

"I'm sorry officer, was I going to fast?"

He plays his role. "Yes ma'am. You almost caused an accident." Tim takes the opportunity to examine the truck. Lucy's driving, a two antsy men sitting in the passenger and back seats. If anyone else had looked at the situation, they wouldn't have given it a second glance, but he could see the panic in her eyes.

"We're in a hurry. It's my brother's birthday and we haven't gotten any party supplies."

Keeping his tone level, he continues the stop the same way he would any other. "License and registration."

"Come on, you don't really need that, do you?" She flirts, placing her hand over his, and he can't keep himself from glancing down at the unexpected warmth. "You should come to party after work. We'd have fun," she says, her voice sultry and full of implication.

Under any other circumstance, Tim would be enjoying this. He'd missed the way her skin felt on his, how her eyes looked at him lustfully. He didn't think the next time he'd touch her would be like this.

"I bet we would," he smirks. "Alright, I'm going to let you go with a warning this time. But slow down, okay?"

"Yeah, I promise. Thank you so much."

Tim nods and steps away before stepping right back, eyes on Lucy. "And have fun at that party."

Once she's driven off, he gives Harper a call to inform her of Lucy's whereabouts, determining that they're robbing a chemical warehouse nearby and that he is to let it happen.

Harper keeps everyone updated on Lucy's position, or lack there of, after the robbery.

"Lucy missed her check in," Harper reveals and Tim's frustration begins to show.

"She's cooking." It's the only possibility at this point. The only good possibility, but Harper shakes her head. "You don't know that."

"She's either cooking or she's dead." The word tastes bitter on his tongue.

"She's not dead.

"Then she's making product," Tim nearly shouts. "From the chemicals she stole, we know it's meth and that takes four to eight hours. We both know it's against the law for her to allow products that she cooked to hit the streets. If we don't find her, she's gonna stop it by herself or die trying."

He's aware that he's frantic, and probably much louder than he needs to be, but his emotions are running high and everything is targeted at the woman in front of him.

"Why the hell did you even let her do this?"

Nyla's brows shoot up at the accusation. "Excuse me?"

"You made the call!" He bites out. "You sent her in there!"

"I gave her the choice, Officer Bradford," she replies sharply. "Now if I were you, I'd lower your voice and watch your tone."

Gray steps up next to Harper. "I'd recommend the same."

The air between the three of them is thick with tension. He pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath, steadying himself before speaking again. "What do we do here?"

"We need a rescue," Harper suggests to Gray and he nods in agreement.

"I'll get the chief on the line."

It's incredible how time can feel so different depending on the circumstances.

Four hours.

He'd spent four hours asleep and time moved too quick, waking up unrested and delirious. He'd spent four hours at weddings, drunk and dancing, where time was steady and consistent. He'd spent four hours in boot camp at eighteen, where time felt like it was being dragged through thick mud.

None of it compared to the four hours it took to find Lucy.

His heart pounded in his chest for the entirety of the search. Over four hundred cops driving through the darkened streets of Southern Los Angeles, all in the hopes that they would find her unharmed.

He rides with Harper and Lopez, hopeful that they'll help him stay steady and collected.

"Look, about before…" he begins, fully ready to apologize to Harper for how he spoke to her earlier, but she holds up a hand, stopping him.

"I've been where Lucy is right now," she tells him. "I wish I'd been so lucky to have someone looking after me the way you're looking after her."

"She was my rookie," he explains. "You'd do the same for Nolan and Lopez would do the same for West."

Angela scoffs in the back seat. "Keep telling yourself that. I don't remember ever getting this emotional about a boot. What about you Harper?"

Nyla smirks. "Nope, can't say I have."

Before he has a chance to even attempt to defend himself, his phone rings and their sirens are on.

The three of them storm into the warehouse, guns raised, ready to do whatever they have to do to get Lucy home safely, stunned when they see her with her gun trained of La Fiera.

"Thought you said you needed rescuing?" Tim says to Nyla. He can see she's shaken up. Her pony tail has fallen loose around her face, cheeks are red, and she's breathing like she finally can again. He wants nothing more than to drop his weapon and hold her.

"You okay?" Harper asks.

"Let's just go with yes," she shakes out. "How'd you guys get here so fast? Not that I'm complaining."

"When you didn't report in last night, Gray called the chief, who called in every law enforcement agency in Southern California," Tim explains. "Four hundred cops just spent the night looking for you."

Gratitude flashes across her face. "Wow."

Harper has her arm around Lucy before Tim has the chance. "Let's get you back to the station and debrief. We have a wedding to get to tonight."

Once Lucy had gotten home, she'd collapsed on her bed and fallen asleep, the adrenaline crash hitting hard. As scary as the whole undercover experience was, she'd loved it.

Through the rush of it all, she'd stayed in her role, and the operational had been a success. She was, undeniably, proud of herself.

TIm hadn't crossed her mind since all of this began. It wasn't on purpose, she was only staying focused on staying alive instead. But now he's standing in front of her at the wedding, looking purely edible it a dark blue suit, and she has no idea where he stands.

She'd called off their last meeting because she was afraid of anyone finding out. But Jackson knew and she knew he wouldn't say anything, so maybe they could continue their list tonight. The way his eyes graze over her figure while she walks over to him has her feeling good about the possibility.

"Nice suit," she flirts. "Nova would be impressed."

"Nova was a little thirsty," he smiles.

"I like to think of her as assertive."

She'd missed this.

"First solo op and you take down two major drug traffickers. Not bad," he compliments her and she blushes. It's nothing like the other times he's made her blush, it's purely professional, and yet, she still feels it everywhere in her body.

"Thank you."

She turns to walk away, deciding that she'll talk to him about the list later.

"Hey, Chen," he calls after her and she turns around. "Save me a dance."

Chapter Text

The room was charged with excitement at happiness at their wedding, everyone dressed in their best and patiently waiting for the ceremony to begin before it suddenly dissolved.

Angela was missing. La Fiera had taken her.

Jackson was dead. One of her men had shot him at point blank.

The reality of it fell on her like a heavy weight that she just couldn't push off, no matter how hard she tried.

Everything had happened so sudddenly. One moment, he was helping her pick out what to wear to the wedding and the next - he was gone. Her best friend was no longer here on this earth with her.

There are no leads on Angela. All that's known is that La Fiera took her somewhere on plane and they're getting no assistance from the DEA - everything is falling on them.

"Today was hard day… the worst day," Gray's voice shakes out. "Go home. Try to get some rest while Caradine's team takes the baton. Tomorrow won't be any easier."

Tim walks along side Lucy and even that is bringing her a small modicum of comfort. "I can't go back to the apartment… his empty room," she breathes out, her eyes threatening to water again.

"You dont have to. You can stay with me," he offers.

"I don't want to impose."

"No, Lucy, you shouldn't be alone right now."

He's not inviting her over for the same reasons she's used to. He's inviting her over because she was part of the La Fiera takedown and it wasn't safe to go home yet. At least not safe enough in his eyes.

The walk into Tim's house is different. They're normally a jumbled mess of hands and lips, moving as quickly as they can to remove each others clothes and touch each other.

Now, he's gently closing that same door he'd pushed her up against all those weeks ago and walking into him bedroom alone.

He returns with sheets, a pillow, and a change of clothes for her. The same Dodgers T-shirt he'd originally given her.

"Go change, I'll make up the couch."

When she returns, she finds him laying on the makeshift bed. "I thought the couch was for me?"

"I'm not gonna have a guest sleep on the couch."

It's silly, she thinks. He's been inside of her and here they are bickering over sleeping arrangements. "Well, I'm not taking your bed. So get up."

He concedes quickly and stands. "Can I get you anything?"

"The last twenty four hours back?" Her poor attempt at being humorous right now falls flat.

"I'm afraid I don't have that ability," he smiles sadly.

"A hug?" Her voice cracks and he gently nods. "Come here."

Holding her, his chin rests on the top of her head and he cradles her in his arms. When they release each other, they stay close, eyes lingering on eachothers until they both cave.

Lucy kisses him first and it's the most warmth she's felt in her body in days.

"We shouldn't," he whispers, forehead resting against hers. Her hands cup his jaw. "We should," she whispers, lips grazing his. "Sometimes sex can be intimate, Tim. We can use it to feel good and not hurt. Even if it's just temporary."

His hands hold her shoulders as he takes in her appearance. She looks so much smaller than usual, her body overwhelmed by his clothes. Her eyes are full of pain, in a way he's never seen from her. "Please, Tim."

The shuffle to his bedroom is silent, save for their clothes hitting the floor and his door slamming shut behind them.

They don't think of protection. There's no dirty talk or spanking or hair pulling. No thoughts of marking something off a list.

Only them.

He sits at the edge of his bed and Lucy straddles him, the chests pressed together. She pumps his length in her hand a few times before lining herself up, and slowly sliding down on him, keeping her eyes on his.

"Wait," he pauses her, his hands resting on her hips. "Condom."

"I have an IUD and I've never had sex without a condom," she breathes out. "I trust you."

They move slowly, Lucy hips rocking back and forth while Tim's fingers dance all over her body, digging into her hips and thighs and raking over her back and lacing through her hair. When her head falls back, he takes the opportunity to kiss her neck and chest, needing to taste any part of her that he can.

It's slow and breathy and gently. Nothing like it had been before.

Her orgasm builds deep inside of her and Tim keeps his head buried in her shoulder. His breathing is getting shallower and she can tell he's just as close as she is. Her hands frame his face and she looks down at him.

"Look at me, Tim," she orders. "Look at me while you come inside of me."

It's intense. Their eyes stay locked on each others while they come together, the dark cloud that's been hovering over them evaporates entirely and is replaced with pure electricity.

But it's only momentarily as the events of the night come back into focus. Lucy collapses into his shoulder, breaking down into a mess of shaky sobs.

Tim doesn't say anything. Instead, he picks her up and lays her down on his bed, covering her with a blanket. He settles himself behind her with an arm around her waist and holds her until the tears stop with sleep.

They're both awakened hours later by a call from Gray with Angela's location and the next twenty four hours are a whirlwind. Tim, Harper, Nolan, and Wesley all fly to Guatemala on the rescue op and it goes as well as they could hope while Lucy stays home and worries.

Angela's pregnant and kidnapped and she's worried about Tim.

What is wrong with me?

The grief passes intermittently as the next two months pass. Some days are easier, like when she meets Jack, Angela's son. Her best friends namesake and the sweetest tiny bundle of a human she'd ever seen.

Other days are harder and take her by surprise. Everything becomes overwhelming all at once.

Jackson is gone.

Tamara is moving into his room.

What color does she need to paint the walls?

Her and Tim hadn't spoken in weeks, let alone touched each other and she blames the heightened emotions for her text to him that night.

Can I come over?