Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everything was hazy. Kou couldn’t tell where he was, but he was aware of the figure next to him. They’d been… talking, probably. Kou wasn’t sure exactly what they were talking about, or who the person even was, but he could see their right arm, all sorts of tattoos on it. He could only see one of them clearly, though– a line of stars circling around the width of their arm.

“I like your star tattoo,” he told them. 

The person smiled. “Thank you! I really love…” Muffled. What had they said? ‘I really love stars’? ‘I really love the sky’? Did they compliment him back? He had no idea.

Their conversation continued. It didn’t feel like any time had passed. Kou didn’t know what they were talking about at all anymore, but he could feel… something. A connection. 

“Do you want to make out?” he found himself asking.

The person smiled gently. “Do you really want to?”

A positive reaction.

Kou found himself nervous now. “I mean, I’ve never kissed before, but–”

They were still smiling. “Well, someone has to be your first, right?”

Oh, this was happening.

“I think I need to wash up first.”

The person gave their okay, and Kou was off to find a bathroom to brush his teeth. Or rather, he was suddenly in a bathroom without remembering taking steps to get there at all. Something in his mind told him that he should prepare for sex, too. 

When he came back, not sure if he actually brushed his teeth like he’d wanted, the person was lying on the bed– Was there a bed earlier? What had they been doing?– and next to them was… a condom? They started to whisper something to him, then–

Kou sat straight up when he woke up. Woah. He didn’t know if he’d ever had a dream so vivid yet so hazy at the same time before. That person… man? Woman? Something else? He couldn’t remember a single feature other than the tattoo. He only had a faint thought of them seeming Japanese. 

Kou collapsed back onto his bed. As if he didn’t feel lonely enough already, that weird dream just made him feel so undesirable. Whoever that was, the way they wanted to be intimate with Kou so easily, and because of their conversation, not anything else. They had a real connection, but it was starting to really seem like that kind of thing could only happen in a dream for him. 

He sighed. His alarm hadn’t gone off yet, so he had time to scroll on his phone before getting ready for work. His thoughts kept going back to his dream, though. Was that really a condom? Does that mean I was with a guy, or did they think…

“Kou? You up?” The voice of one of his roommates snapped him out of it. Weird. He usually didn’t get woken up. 

“Yeah,” Kou called back through his door. “What’s up?”

“Just making sure; I didn’t hear you.”

Huh? Kou checked the time– 6 minutes past his alarm. Shit. Did I not turn it on? He’d had some days off the week before, so he’d probably forgotten. Well, good thing he woke up early. And that Shun was kind enough to wake him. 

Kou told him a quick thanks through the door, and started getting dressed for the day. Really, his alarm was set for two hours before work, and the commute wasn’t far at all, but he liked having time to properly wake up and get ready without rushing. 

Stepping into his apartment’s shared bathroom, Kou looked in the mirror and frowned. Were his eyebags getting worse? And he was breaking out, too. Come to think of it, he was cutting it kind of close to… Ugh. He should be fine for one more day. 

“Morning”, he mumbled as he walked into the kitchen-slash-laundry room after washing his face, greeting his roommates.

“Good morning,” Yomogi replied, looking up at him over his coffee mug. “You sleep okay?”

“Nope,” Kou replied, reaching for a water bottle from their fridge. “I had a pretty vivid dream. Well, not vivid, that’s probably the wrong word ‘cause I hardly understand what happened, but…” he trailed off.

Yomogi raised his eyebrows. “And? You’re not gonna share?”

Kou chuckled. “I guess I just kinda just flirted with someone. We were gonna kiss and probably do more, but I woke up before that happened.”

“Oh.” Yomogi didn’t sound impressed. “That’s it?”

“Well I’m sure it doesn’t sound like a big deal to you, but in case you forgot, that’s never happened to me.”

“Maybe it’s a sign.”

Kou snorted. “Yeah, right.”

“What’s a sign?” Shun asked, walking in, already in his suit for his office job.

“Kou had a sex dream.”

Shun’s eyes lit up. “Oh?”

“No, I didn’t. We didn’t even kiss. Stop lying just because you’re bored.”

“It probably is a sign, though.”

“If anything, it’s a sign that nothing like that’s gonna happen to me.”

“Kou, don’t say that!” Shun frowned. 

“Why do you think that?” Yomogi asked. 

Kou shrugged, taking a sip of his water. “It was just so easy in the dream. We just had a conversation, and next thing you know we were trying to get into each other’s pants.”

“I thought you said you hated hookup culture, though,” Yomogi replied.

“It wasn’t like that, though,” Kou argued. “We had a real connection. I dunno. It’s hard to explain.”

Yomogi nodded. “Dreams are like that.” He turned towards Shun, “Hey, Yokoo, there’s some coffee left if you want it.”

“Oh? You’re actually sharing today?” Shun walked over to the coffee pot and poured some into a portable cup. 

“Ran out of my good blend,” Yomogi replied, picking up his phone to check his socials. “Wait, that meeting is today, right?”

Shun sighed. “You had to remind me right as I forgot. Now I’m gonna be nervous again.”

Yomogi chuckled. “You’ll be fine. It's just because a new volume got published, right?”

“Hey, Kou, if I get fired, can you get me a job at the amusement park?” Shun asked him, ignoring Yomogi's reassurance. 

“You’re not gonna get fired,” Kou replied. “And also no.”

“So you hate me?”

“Mm-hm.” Kou checked his phone. “Speaking of, I should probably pack my uniform.”

“Oh yeah, I need the iron back, by the way,” Yomogi told him.

Kou raised an eyebrow. “What for? Did you finally get an in-person job?”

“I have an in-person job, thank you. I have an interview tomorrow.”

“I was kidding, dude. You can get the iron from my room whenever.”

Yomogi hummed in affirmation, back to scrolling on his phone. 

Kou tossed his now empty water bottle into the recycling bin, then made his way back to his room to pack his uniform for the day. He liked his job, but the fact that this was already his third uniform was annoying. He had started working at Puroland as a ride operator thanks to one of his brother’s many connections, while also being a handyman in training, but after a while his job ended up just being whatever his bosses needed. Nowadays, he was an usher for the park’s theatre, extremely grateful that no one had made him wear a full-on character costume yet. It was probably only a matter of time, though; their character actors were mostly young people right out of drama school that would leave once they got better gigs. 

Kou’s sweet tooth was aching more than usual, so he decided to hurry and make himself presentable so he could get coffee on his way to work. Yomogi always urged Kou to make his coffee at home or to just let him do it instead of buying it at ‘shitty overpriced places’, but at the end of the day, café coffee was cheaper and more convenient. Kou usually got the ratio of everything wrong when he tried, anyway. 

“Heading out already?” Yomogi asked him as Kou walked through the kitchen-slash-laundry room. 

“Yep.”

“Not getting shitty coffee, are you?”

Kou didn’t answer, just tied his shoes in silence. 

“Your silence speaks volumes, Kou!”

“It’s not shitty! Also there might be traffic, so you don’t know why I’m leaving early!” Kou called back.

“You don’t even drive!”

—

Kou’s favorite café was a hole in the wall right around the corner from his apartment building, so he liked to stop there before getting on his train when he was in the mood for a sweet drink before work. Really, it would have been more expensive than making coffee at home if it were a daily thing, but he went rarely enough that it balanced out. 

Walking in, it looked like the café was having a busy morning. I guess a lot of people want coffee on Mondays. Makes sense. He ended up lining up to order, which hadn’t happened in at least a few months– looks like they’re getting more business; good for them– right behind someone with pink hair. Not wanting to be awkward and stare, Kou pulled out his phone and opened the first app he could. Seconds later, though, police sirens went off outside the building, prompting the person in front of him to turn around. As they did, Kou was struck with major déjà vu. 

The person was a man with pink eyes that matched his hair, which widened as he made eye contact with Kou.

“Oh, sorry,” the man said quickly. “I didn’t know there was someone behind me.”

It was Kou’s first time hearing his voice, but it seemed familiar in a way. 

He smiled at the stranger. “No worries. I do that all the time.”

He let his eyes take in the man’s outfit, stopping when he saw his right arm. He had a tattoo of stars circling his arm. Just like–

“Is it you?” Kou found himself asking.

The man tilted his head. “Huh?”

“Next order, please!”

The man quickly turned back to the counter, stepping up to it to relay his order to the cashier. Kou did the same after him, desperately trying to keep his thoughts together.

That’s the person from my dream. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? 

They had to have met before, right? That was the only rational answer. He had to have met this guy at some point since moving to Tokyo, and then forgotten about him. Right? That had to be it.

Kou turned back to him awkwardly. “Hey, sorry I phrased that so weirdly earlier. You just looked familiar. Have we met before?”

The man seemed a little weirded out by Kou, but he humored him anyway. “Um, I don’t think so. What’s your name?”

“Minamoto Kou.”

The man drew his eyebrows together, looking a bit uncomfortable. “Sorry, I don’t…”

“Oh, okay. Sorry if I…” Kou would only seem crazier if he mentioned his dream. “Your tattoo just looked familiar, so I–”

“Oh, the wings?”

Huh?

“Wings?"

The man turned his back to Kou and moved his hair so Kou could see his neck– oh. There were butterfly wings tattooed. 

“Oh, I actually didn’t see that,” Kou told him honestly. “It’s really cool, though.”

The man chuckled. “Thanks. A lot of people have that kind of design, so I figured that’s what you meant.”

“Oh, no, I meant the stars.”

The man’s eyes widened; he must not have been expecting that. 

He looked down at his upper arm where the tattoo in question was, then back at Kou. “Really?”

Kou nodded. Well, it was a pretty simple tattoo, right? Maybe it was more common than he thought. The stars were just outlined and neatly lined up next to each other, after all. It wasn’t anything abstract.

“Maybe we have met before, then,” the man said, to Kou’s surprise. “My name is Mitsuba. Sousuke. If that rings any bells.”

Unfortunately for Kou, the name wasn’t familiar in the slightest, which confused him even more. It would have been one thing if it was just the tattoo, but Mitsuba’s entire being just seemed so familiar, it was going to drive Kou crazy. Was this guy even real?

Mitsuba’s coffee was ready pretty quickly– just a cold brew, it seemed– but before he left the café, he turned back to Kou.

“Hey, I have to go, but maybe we can exchange LINEs?”

—

Room 501

You guys were right
It was a sign

Satou Yomogi
???

Yokoo Shun
Did you meet someone??

The guy from my dream is real

Satou Yomogi
How??

Yokoo Shun
HOW

Funnily enough, ‘how’ was the only word on Kou’s mind, too.

Chapter Text

Wind speeds were really high that day, which Kou would have known had he checked his weather app in the morning, so the park was far less crowded than usual. That and the fact that it was a Monday in the middle of February, he supposed. Either way, it gave him plenty of down time to check his phone for a message from Mitsuba. It would be weird to text first, wouldn’t it? What would he even say? Besides, Mitsuba was the one who asked for his contact info, anyway. Wouldn’t it make sense for him to be the one to initiate? 

Kou decided to just look at his profile for now. He had a mirror selfie as his profile picture, but only from the shoulders down. What a shame. Dream aside, the guy was fucking gorgeous. Kou didn’t get a chance to process his appearance much because he was busy freaking out about the whole dream tattoo thing, but the fact that a beautiful man asked him for his LINE had to mean something, right? 

After the last show of the day ended and he handled the crowd on their way out, Kou was immediately sent inside the theatre to clean, grateful that none of his coworkers decided to talk to him while he did. He was way too wrapped up in his thoughts to have a proper human conversation.

By the time the end of his shift came around, he hadn’t gotten to look at his phone for at least a couple hours, making the only thought on his mind has he texted? on repeat. Kou walked hurriedly to the locker room to change out of his uniform, taking his phone out of his pocket as quickly once he was inside, only to find– no messages. Oh. Okay.

He kept thinking about it on the subway after work– how could he not? Maybe he wants me to text first? But that’s kind of weird if you put it into perspective, right? We barely talked. He left in a hurry too, though. What if he wants to text me but has work or something? I’d better wait.

Checking the time on his phone as he stepped off the subway, Kou’s heart froze. He had a new LINE message. After typing in his password with suddenly shaky fingers, he saw that yes, it was a message from Mitsuba. It was just a standard greeting emoticon, but there was a typing bubble under it. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Mitsuba Sousuke

hey
do you want to get lunch or something sometime this week?
so we can figure out where we’ve met before

Holy fucking shit. Well, Mitsuba definitely thought that Kou recognized him from a different moment in his life, when it was really just a dream he had, so maybe there was a bit of a misunderstanding. Still, though, wasn’t that just too good of a coincidence? They probably knew each other from somewhere. Realistically.

Back at the apartment, Kou tossed off his shoes and walked into the kitchen-slash-laundry room, where both of his roommates were typing on their respective laptops at the table.

“I feel like a new man,” he announced.

Shun looked up at him with a teasing grin. “Again?”

Yomogi snorted.

“Ha, ha,” Kou responded. “Seriously, though.” He opened his LINE chat with Mitsuba and showed his phone to his roommates.

“This is Dream Guy?” Yomogi asked.

“Okay, wait,” Shun cut in. “You didn’t explain anything. How do you know it was your dream person? Like, did he look exactly the same?”

“Well, I didn’t really see him in the dream?”

Yomogi and Shun exchanged a look.

“So…” Yomogi prompted.

“The only physical thing I could remember from the dream was a tattoo, and this guy had the exact same tattoo. I got major déjà vu when I saw him.”

“I mean, not to deny your sign from God or whatever, but it might just be a common tattoo,” Yomogi told him.

“What was it?” Yokoo asked.

“Stars.”

Both of Kou’s roommates just stared at him, unimpressed.

“Stars? Do you know how many people have stars tattooed?” Yomogi asked, an amused tone in his voice.

“Well it was, like– not like actual stars you see in the sky, but like the star shape, right? And they were all lined up and went around his arm like this.” Kou dragged a finger around the width of his forearm. Did he sound crazy? He felt crazy.

Shun titled his head. “I guess I’ve never seen that before. Have you?” he asked Yomogi, who shook his head in response.

“See? It’s not that common! He also sounded surprised when I said that it was the tattoo on him that I recognized.”

Another memory suddenly struck him– didn’t the person in his dream have multiple tattoos on their right arm? Mitsuba did too.

“And! It was on the same arm as my dream! And both of them had more tattoos around it.”

“Did you recognize those, too?” Yomogi asked him.

“Well, I didn’t remember the ones from my dream, but I knew they were there.”

“Huh. Well, I guess it’s a crazy coincidence if you’ve actually never met him before. Are you sure you didn’t just meet him and then forget?”

“I dunno man, he’s really good-looking. I feel like I would have remembered seeing him.”

“Oh, so it’s meant to be,” Shun replied. “That’s what I’m hearing.”

Kou chuckled, feeling his face warm up a little bit. “Maybe. He wants to get lunch this week.”

“Was he the one who asked for your LINE? Or was it you?” Yomogi asked.

“He did. Isn’t that crazy?”

Yomogi smirked. “Dude, he wants you.” 

“You think?”

“Oh, absolutely. That’s, like, textbook flirting.”

“Well, he says he wants to ‘figure out where we’ve met before’.”

“Yeah, that’s an excuse to meet with you. He wants you.”

“Kou, this is so exciting!” Yokoo beamed. 

“Did you respond to his message?”

“Yeah. I don’t really have any free afternoons, so I asked him if dinner would be better.”

Satou whistled and gave him a small round of applause. “You sure you haven't dated before? That was the perfect move.”

Kou chuckled. “Yeah?”

“Dinner is the most romantic meal, Kou. Did he reply yet?”

“Not yet.”

“Hm, well, there’s time.” Yomogi paused. “You do want to date him, right?”

“Obviously.”

Yomogi nodded. “Good. Can you make us dinner while you wait for a reply?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kou replied, taking his briefcase to his bedroom. “You weren’t waiting too long, were you?”

“I got home like ten minutes before you,” Shun replied. “The meeting was fine.”

“Told you,” Kou and Yomogi responded at the same time.

“Hey, fuck you guys. I could lose my job at any moment. I don’t know how I managed to keep it for so long.”

“Ever consider the idea that you’re just good at it?” Yomogi replied, sounding tired.

Shun sighed. “I never considered for my first two decades of life that I’d end up being a manga editor.”

“Better than getting concussions as an athlete,” Yomogi replied as Kou came back to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

“If you really hate it, you–”

“I’m not quitting.”

“Then stop complaining.” Yomogi flicked Shun’s forehead. “You’re good at it.”

Shun just turned his attention to Kou. “What’s for dinner?”

Kou shrugged. “I could make pasta? I think we have beef, too.”

Shun gasped dramatically. “I love you.”

Kou laughed. “It’s, like, the easiest thing to cook.”

“It tastes best when you make it, though.”

Kou snorted. “I’m not telling you to do it instead. I’ll probably end up eating dinner with Mitsuba later this week, though, so you’ll be on your own.”

Yomogi looked up from his laptop. “Mitsuba? That’s his name?” 

Kou nodded. “Pretty name, right?”

Shun laughed. “You sound like you’re in love already.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Kou replied. “But seriously, isn’t that crazy? Like, I still can’t wrap my head around it.”

Yomogi nodded. “Totally crazy. Please start cooking.”

Kou flipped him off, but started taking out ingredients anyway.

—

Mitsuba Sousuke

dinner sounds good
i’m free tomorrow if that works

Holy fucking shit. He was going to see Mitsuba again in less than 24 hours. He’d better remember to bring better looking clothes with him to work the next day. And cologne. And breathmints.

Mitsuba Sousuke

That’s perfect!
I get off work at 6
Do you have anywhere in mind?

After Mitsuba sent him an address and told him to have a good night, Kou just laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Am I still dreaming? 

—

As soon as his alarm went off the next morning, Kou was hopping out of bed and looking through his wardrobe. A full suit would be too much, so… His eyes fell on a white dress shirt with bishop sleeves and orange cuffs. It wasn’t his favorite thing to wear, as it looked more like a blouse than the men’s shirt that it was, but the older Kou got, the less he cared about that kind of thing. He still looked good in it either way.

So, he packed the shirt along with a pair of mint green slacks into his briefcase together with his uniform, and put on one of his flashier earrings. He headed to the apartment bathroom to wash up, only to find that– fuck. He had gotten his period. 

Are you serious? Of all days? Well, it wasn’t early or anything, but Kou was still annoyed. He decided not to let it kill his mood, though. He prepared for his day as usual, double and triple checking the subway lines he’d need to take to get to the restaurant that night.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Yomogi noted as Kou walked into the kitchen-slash-laundry room to make a quick breakfast. “Did he text you back last night?”

“We’re getting dinner tonight,” Kou told him, putting a couple pieces of bread in the toaster. 

“Well that was quick. Told you it was a sign; that guy wants you bad.”

“Well, don’t jinx it, but… yeah. I think it’s a date.”

“So what are Yokoo and I supposed to do for dinner?”

“Order a pizza or something, I dunno. But leave me some if you do.”

“No promises.”

—

Kou had been put in charge of ride maintenance between shows for the day, something the park usually did after a windy day, which was a relief for him since he could keep his mind off of both his date (?) with Mitsuba and his cramps. Unfortunately for him, when he had started taking testosterone back in high school, not only did his anxiety get worse, but his period cramps did too. All this was to say that staying too busy to dwell on his negative thoughts was always a good thing for him.

All the rides were running with no issue, but there were enough of them for the maintenance to take up all the time between his other tasks, and before he knew it, the park was closing for the day.

Grateful for not having to work past closing that week, Kou rushed to change into the outfit he had picked out in the morning and check up on his appearance. His hair had gotten a bit messed up from sweat, but otherwise he looked fine. Well, he hoped he looked fine, at least.

—

After getting off his first train and making the transfer to another line, Kou noticed a pair of pink eyes on him. Oh shit. Mitsuba. Was his gaze that intense last time? Or was Kou just falling in love, like Shun had said?

Kou walked over to him with slightly shaky legs. “Hey,” he greeted with a smile.

Mitsuba gave him a small smile back. “Hey.”

Small talk. Make small talk. How the fuck do you make small talk on a date with a stranger?

“So, do you usually take Line Y?” Kou asked him.

Mitsuba nodded. “This restaurant is near my apartment.”

“Oh, cool.” Kou replied.

Fuck. That was so awkward. 

“Where do you work?” Mitsuba asked him. “I hope you didn’t wear that all day.”

Kou frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Mitsuba shrugged. “It’s kind of an eyesore, no?”

“Um, no? I think it looks fine.”

“Hm.”

“Well, anyway, I work at Puroland.” Mitsuba’s eyes lit up at that. “I wear a uniform at work; I’m not allowed to wear it anywhere else.”

“Seriously?” He sounded a little too excited for a kid’s theme park at his age. Wait, how old was he? Kou never asked.

“Yeah, you jealous?”

“Duh. That’s a dream job.”

“Yeah, if you’re in grade school.”

Mitsuba gasped dramatically and clutched his heart. “How dare you! You don’t deserve to work there with that attitude.”

The next train arrived, and they walked in and took two handles next to each other.

“I mean, it’s a good job, I guess. I’m not complaining.” Kou told him.

“Can you get me a free ticket?”

“Why does everyone ask me that?”

“Because Puroland is fucking awesome? Do you have no joy in your soul?”

Kou sneered. “Joy is everywhere; you don’t need to go to a theme park for it.”

Mitsuba clicked his tongue. “Smartass.”

Kou laughed again. Talking to Mitsuba was easier than he thought it would be.

“What do you do for work, then?”

“Photography.”

Kou’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Seriously? That’s so cool!”

“Well, it’s not my only job. Can’t really make a liveable wage as a freelance photographer.”

“So–”

“I also work for the city. Like, every time there’s a festival or project or something, I do something for that.”

“Can you get me a free festival ticket, then?” Kou joked.

“City festivals don’t have tickets, idiot.” 

“Harsh.”

Mitsuba’s eyes widened. “I’m sorr–”

Kou laughed. “No, it’s fine. Don’t hold back.”

Mitsuba smiled, looking a bit embarrassed. “We’re getting off at the next stop.”

Kou nodded, looking at what the next stop was– Ikebukuro. When had he last gone to Ikebukuro? Was it when he went to the garden there with his sister? Had he seen Mitsuba there?

As they made their way out of the station, Kou turned to Mitsuba. “How long have you lived in Ikebukuro?”

Mitsuba hummed. “A couple years now, I guess. I lived in the suburbs for most of my life. I moved to Tokyo after college.”

So that meant that he had graduated about two years ago. Was he the same age as Kou?

“What year did you graduate?”

“2023.” He looked at Kou. “Why?”

“Me too,” Kou replied. “I guess we’re the same age.”

“What university? Maybe we met in college.”

Kou shook his head. “I don’t think so. I went to college in Tokyo. Keio.”

“Oh. Nevermind, then. And you said it was my star tattoo that you recognized?”

Kou nodded.

“I got that, like, five months ago.”

Oh. That was… very recent.

“Huh.” was all that Kou could say.

As they approached the restaurant, Kou tried to catch a glimpse of the butterfly wing tattoo on Mitsuba’s neck since his arms were covered by the sleeves of a pink cardigan, but his hair was in the way. Well, his face was enough eye candy, Kou supposed.

“How many tattoos do you have?” Kou asked him as they took a seat inside.

Mitsuba grinned, clearly enjoying being asked about his tattoos. “Guess.”

“Uh… ten?”

Mitsuba shook his head.

“Am I too low or too high?”

Mitsuba just smiled, shrugging and taking a sip of his water.

“Nine?”

“Higher.”

“Oh, um… Fourteen?”

“Twelve,” Mitsuba finally told him, reaching for the tablet on their table to put his order in. “Do you want to get two types of yakitori to split? Maybe three?”

“Sure,” Kou replied. In all honesty, he was damn near starving. “Let’s do three.”

“Kay,” Mitsuba replied, putting one type of yakitori into their order. “You can pick the rest since it’s your first time.”

So, Kou did, but Mitsuba interrupted him before he started to pay. 

“Beer.”

“Beer?”

“Do you not want any?”

Kou shrugged. “I mean, sure.”

Mitsuba added a couple glasses of beer to their order, then gave the tablet back to Kou, the screen telling him to insert his credit card. This bastard. Well, it was surprisingly cheap, so Kou didn’t really have a problem paying. Treating the other person made it feel more like a date, anyway. 

“What area do you live in, Minamoto?”

“Setagaya,” Kou replied, picking up his water.

Mitsuba hummed. “I don’t really go over there. Do you know where you saw my tattoo before?”

“Uh…” Kou was not telling him about the dream; he would sound like a madman. “I’m not sure. Maybe I saw it on someone else? Is it common?”

Mitsuba shook his head. “Maybe just stars, I guess, but not with the missing point.”

The… what?

“Missing point?”

Mitsuba looked at him like he was stupid. “You didn’t notice?”

“No?”

Mitsuba sighed and unbuttoned his cardigan, pulling down his right sleeve, and pointed to one of the stars. Oh shit, he was right. One of the stars closer to his torso was missing one of its points– the bottom left one. Come to think of it, he didn’t see that side of the arm in his dream, did he? He was on Mitsuba’s right side. Well, the person’s right side. He wouldn’t have been able to see the broken star.

“Oh, I didn’t notice.”

“So did you recognize the wrong tattoo because you have no eye for detail?”

“No, I, um… I didn’t get to see that side of the tattoo the first time I saw it. I mean, I don’t remember where I was, or when I saw it, but I was on the other side. To me it looked like it was just normal stars all the way around.”

“Huh. That’s a little specific.”

Kou chuckled nervously and shrugged. “Déjà vu is like that, I guess. But seriously, you seem familiar. Not just the tattoo.”

“Are you just saying that as an excuse to see me again?” Mitsuba teased.

“Um.” Kou felt his face grow hot. Was that flirting? That had to be flirting.

Before he got a chance to respond, though, their food and alcohol were placed in front of them. 

“I don’t mind if you want to meet again,” Mitsuba told him after the waiter left, trying to conceal his smile with his beer glass.

“Cool,” Kou replied, smile taking over his face. “Text me later, then.”

Chapter Text

Mitsuba did not, in fact, text him later. Before Kou knew it, two days had passed without a single word from the man. Kou had thought the rest of the date went fine– they talked about work and their hometowns, and Mitsuba ended up drinking two more beer glasses and making Kou pay for them. Overall, it seemed like he was really enjoying himself– he looked like he was seriously interested in Kou. Was he just imagining it?

“Minamoto, are you… doing okay?” one of his coworkers asked him on the second day of radio silence while cleaning the theatre. It must have been obvious that he was upset over something.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just… You ever been ghosted before?”

His coworker, Hwang, laughed and put his hand out, showing an engagement ring. “Sorry, Minamoto. I can listen to your problems if it puts you at ease, though.”

“No, that’s okay, sorry–”

A raised eyebrow prompted Kou to keep talking. 

“Okay, well. We went on a date on Tuesday, and he seemed to really be enjoying–” He paused. Did he just out himself? Shit. He needed to be more careful.

“Go on.”

Okay. It doesn’t look like he cares. Thank god.

“The date went well, basically. He even said he wanted to see me again. Or… maybe he lied, I dunno. He hasn’t texted since.”

Hwang continued sweeping, not looking at Kou. “Have you texted him?”

“Well, no, but–”

“He’s waiting for you.”

Kou frowned. “I really don’t think–”

“Well, it sounds like he made it clear he liked you, right? He wants confirmation that you feel the same way.”

“You might be right, but I’ve bothered people too many times to want to risk it again.”

It hurt to say that out loud. Kou had been single his entire life, but it wasn’t because he never talked to anyone. It was more like the opposite, really. He did everything– wrote letters, cooked for people, talked to them regularly, but it all ended the same way. He was tired of hearing “just put yourself out there”, “just be yourself”, and everything else that people told him without being asked for advice in the first place. All he did was be himself and go out of his way to talk to people, but nothing ever came out of it. None of the effort was reciprocated, and he was left with insecurities he hadn’t had for most of his life prior. Did he really just come off too strong? Was he too loud? Ugly? Undesirable? Really, Kou didn’t think very lowly of himself, but it was hard to keep those thoughts away when it seemed that no one really wanted to be around him. He was tired of trying to make people happy for so long without anything coming out of it.

“Then he’ll never text you.” 

Kou didn’t say anything.

Hwang paused his sweeping to look at him. “You know it’s the only way to actually find out, right?”

Again, Kou didn’t answer. 

“Well, it’s your decision at the end of the day. I can’t say I really care that much, so I’ll leave you alone.”

“Sorry.” Kou muttered.

“Don’t be. If it doesn’t work out, there are plenty of fish in the sea anyway– even with men. Tokyo is a lot more accepting of that than Seoul was.”

Plenty of fish in the sea. Kou hated that even more than any of the other unwarranted “advice” he’d received over the years. If you try every bait but never catch anything, why does it matter how many fish there are? Kou thought that finally, finally, someone wanted him, that someone saw him as desirable and worthy of spending time with. He didn’t want any false hope after the dream he had, but things had actually been looking up for him. He was stupid to even consider it, though.

“Thanks.” Kou replied coldly. 

Hwang hummed in response, continuing his cleaning. 

—

Despite saying that he didn’t care, Hwang’s words stuck with Kou for the rest of the day. He wanted to ignore the fact that he was right, but his extroversion and need to please got the better of him. 

Mitsuba Sousuke

Hey!
Sorry I haven’t texted
I hope you enjoyed yourself on Tuesday :)
I’d be down to do something like that again

Shakily plugging his phone in to charge, Kou walked into the kitchen-slash-laundry room to start making dinner.

“You look upset,” Yomogi told him, typing away on his laptop.

“I texted him.”

“Who, Mitsuba?”

“Yeah.” Kou took his pan off of the drying rack. “He didn’t text after the date.”

“Seriously?”

Kou nodded.

“Damn. Tough luck. You sure he’s still interested?”

“Nope. But what other chance am I gonna get, you know?” Kou spoke hopefully out loud, but he was just preparing himself for an eventual rejection. That’s what it always ended as, anyway. This was normal for him. He needed to expect the obvious.

Yomogi looked up from his laptop. “Did he say anything on the date that gave you that impression?”

Why the fuck was everyone interrogating him lately?

“He actually said he wouldn’t mind meeting again.”

“So… You waited for him to text you all week? Seriously?”

“Why not?” Kou asked, taking out some vegetables to slice for dinner. 

“He told you he was interested, Kou. He needs you to respond.”

“But what if–”

“No what-ifs! Please, Kou! Listen. If you told him you wanted a second date and he didn’t text you afterward, would you take that initiative? No, you wouldn’t, because that’s already a rejection.”

“I told him to text me later, though.”

“That’s making it one-sided, effort wise. And didn’t you say he drank? He could have forgotten that.”

“He also could have forgotten the other thing he said, though.”

“Kou, I love you, but you can really be an idiot sometimes. He was clearly interested in you.”

“Why would he be, though?”

“Because you’re a hunk.”

“I’m being serious, Yomo. Clearly there’s something about me–”

“Not this again. Can you just believe that you’re a good person and people can be interested in you?”

“Sure, I believe it, but I don’t think anyone else does. I mean, the proof is right there. I don’t want to bother anyone, okay?”

“You’re not bothering–”

“Either way, I texted him, okay? So it’s fine. We can stop talking about it now.”

Yomogi sighed. “Just don’t let your mood affect your cooking.”

“As if that’s ever happened before.”

—

After Kou finished washing everyone’s dishes, he rushed to his phone, seeing that Mitsuba had responded after only a minute.

Shit. Maybe he really is interested.

Mitsuba Sousuke

no worries
i’m kind of busy these days but i’ll let you know next time i’m available

Or not. Kou sighed. Mitsuba seemed like he was just out of reach– he’d invite Kou in, then completely shut him out. Well, he had just met the guy, after all. He was probably just overstepping like usual.

His roommates weren’t helping, either; they were hopeful to the point of becoming annoying, and the conversation he had at work that day seemed to assume that Kou was dateable in the first place. Kou really wasn’t an insecure person, but when it came to dating, he’d just… given up. If love was supposed to find him eventually, couldn’t he just wait it out without being the one to initiate everything for once?

Wait. A thought suddenly struck him– he knew someone who was interested in romance that wouldn’t lie to his face.

Yashiro Nene

Hey senpai! Hope you’re doing well
If you’re not too busy I was wondering if I could get your thoughts on something?

hi kou-kun!! ^^
what’s up??

After explaining his situation to Nene as best as he could, leaving out the fact that he first saw this man in his dreams, she started typing and deleting for a few minutes.

Yashiro Nene

i might sound biased but i really think he likes you, kou-kun! i know it’s hard to believe that after a bunch of bad experiences, but i’ve been there too
anytime i thought a boy liked me growing up it was just to get something out of me, and that really affected my mindset :(
but i kept trying!! and it’s been going well lately
so i think you shouldn’t give up! i think you guys really have a good chance
do you have pictures of him btw? ;)

I don’t have any pictures, sorry
Thank you though!
I didn’t know you went through that, I’m really sorry

don’t worry about it! i’m fine now
but i think he might actually be busy
it sounds kind of like he’s worried that you’ll reject him, if anything

Really? I didn’t get that impression

well i don’t know him ofc so i could be wrong, but that’s what it sounds like to me
i hope he texts again soon! keep me updated!! good luck ^^

Thanks, senpai!

Nene’s words should have made him feel better, but there was a pretty big elephant in the room that no one had addressed– Nene was a cis girl. Hwang and his roommates were cis men. It was just different for them. Kou liked to think he passed well physically, but he didn’t think the same way that cis men did. He had the kinds of insecurities that none of his friends had, and while it wasn’t exactly isolating, it did make him feel like no one could really understand why he said and felt what he did. 

Well, whatever. There was no use dwelling on it, right? Life goes on. That thought did nothing to help Kou’s emotional exhaustion, though, so he decided to just scroll through social media in his bed instead of doing his laundry like he’d intended earlier. He had the next day off, anyway. He could go an extra day without washing his uniform. But right when Kou’s eyelids started feeling heavy and he was about to turn his phone off for the night, another message from Nene grabbed his attention. 

Yashiro Nene

hi again! this is kind of a weird question, but his name isn’t mitsuba, is it?

What. What. 

Yashiro Nene

!!!
Yes it is
Do you know him?

yes! i met him a few months ago
he was just telling me about a date he went on and it sounded familiar

What did he say?
If it’s bad you can tell me

i won’t tell too much, but let’s just say i was right 😌

:(

i can’t just expose all my friends’ conversations, kou-kun :(((
actually maybe i shouldn’t have told you he contacted me
but you should text him!
i promise to stay out of your business now (；´∀｀)

That’s fair ig
Thanks senpai!!

( ദ്ദി ˙ᗜ˙ )
(also.. maybe don’t be dry when you text him… lolol)

So… Mitsuba did want him? That guy was so up and down. Kou wasn’t upset by the news by any means, though. And was he really that dry of a texter? If anything, Mitsuba seemed worse in that regard. 

Well, the obvious answer would be to text him again, right?

Mitsuba Sousuke

I could send you my work schedule if that makes planning easier for you!

Was that expressive enough? Should he have thrown an emoticon in for good measure? Oh shit, Mitsuba was typing already.

Mitsuba Sousuke

sure
if i show up while you’re working can i get in for free? 

Haha no I don’t work with tickets

so what’s the point of another date then 🤨

Date. Date. Mitsuba called it a date. 

Mitsuba Sousuke

If I pay for enough of your meals maybe you can buy a ticket with that money

so you’re saying you want to pay for me again? chivalrous 

Well no
But it seems like you were planning on making me do it anyway

that’s such a mean assumption :(

Isn’t it true?

yeah :)

Kou chuckled to himself. That’s what he wanted to get out of texting Mitsuba. 

Mitsuba Sousuke

I’ll still pay for you don’t worry
In exchange maybe you could show me some of your other tattoos

pervert
what if the rest of my tattoos are on my ass or something??

Why would you even put them there

why do you think i would

Kou felt his face go red.

Mitsuba Sousuke

I don’t know how to answer that

lol
but yeah i can show you some of them next time
i wasn’t lying when i said i was busy though

Oh, thank god. 

Mitsuba Sousuke

Alright, just let me know!

Mitsuba reacted to his message with a heart and didn’t reply again. Holy shit. In only three days, Kou’s perception of Mitsuba had completely flipped multiple times. It really, really made Kou want to find out more about him. After letting his nerves calm down, Kou fell asleep two hours later than he’d intended, dreaming of butterflies flying among the stars.

Chapter Text

“You’re in a better mood today,” Yomogi noted as Kou walked into the kitchen-slash-laundry room the next morning.

Kou hummed. “He texted back.”

“Told you.”

“And he said he wanted another date.”

Yomogi raised an eyebrow. “He said ‘date’?”

Kou nodded, taking out a bottle of banana milk, to which Yomogi made a disgusted face.

“Did Shun leave already?”

“Did I what?” Shun asked, walking in from his and Yomogi’s shared bedroom.

He’s not even in his suit? How early is it?

“What time is it?”

“Quarter past seven,” Yomogi replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

Kou frowned. “And you didn’t tell me? I would have gone back to sleep.”

Yomogi shrugged. “At least you’re keeping me company today while my Yokoo gets ready and leaves.”

Kou raised an eyebrow. “Your Yokoo? That’s a new one.”

Shun just laughed, picking up Yomogi’s mug, earning a glare from the other man.

“You know, recently Teru-nii asked me how long you guys have been dating.”

Shun cackled at that, nearly spilling the coffee he was holding. Yomogi did not look as amused.

“Okay, seriously, tell Mitsuba to set me up with someone. I can’t take this anymore.”

“What, tired of me already? Our ten year anniversary is tomorrow!” Shun joked.

“I take back calling you mine earlier. I prefer Kou. And,” he reached for his mug, “give me my fucking coffee back.”

Shun pulled it away, still careful not to spill anything. “You hearing this, Kou? He’s bullying me. I think he’ll divorce me soon.”

“Oh, speaking of Mitsuba, turns out he knows Nene-senpai. Isn’t that a crazy coincidence?”

“I ‘spoke of him’ a full five sentences ago. This better not be your new obsession; you’re already starting every conversation by mentioning him.”

Kou shrugged, smiling. “It’s hard not to. He’s literally my dream guy.”

Yomogi wrinkled his nose. “Not to sound homophobic, but I hated that sentence. A lot.” He quickly grabbed his mug back from Shun, who had started lowering it a bit.

“Maybe you met him through your senpai before, then?” Shun asked.

“It sounds like she met him recently, though.”

“Huh. Well, anyway, I hope you guys live a long happy life together; just don’t get married before me and Satou do. I’m gonna go get ready for work.”

“Ew. Don’t say that.”

Kou laughed. “You really do sound homophobic.”

“I might as well be.”

“I’m hurt.” Shun pouted, putting a couple bread slices into the toaster and walking back to his and Yomogi’s room.

“That guy is so annoying,” Yomogi muttered.

Kou chuckled. “Then stop sleeping in the same bed as him.”

“Show me a three-bedroom apartment close to our workplaces that isn’t more expensive and I’ll gladly move.”

“I was kidding. But anyway–”

“If you bring up Mitsuba again–”

“I wasn’t! I wanted to know if you wanted me to make us lunch since it’s my day off.”

“Hm, I don’t believe you. You always make lunch on your days off.”

Kou rolled his eyes. This always happens when I try to lie. “Okay, I’ll try to talk about him less.”

“Thank you!” Yomogi sang.

“So, what’s been new with you?”

Kou’s roommate looked up from his laptop and raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re really bad at small talk, dude. You could just not say anything.”

Kou frowned. “We’re usually talking about me, though. I want to hear about how your life has been.”

“Well, the bakery renovations should be done in a couple weeks, so I’ll be able to actually work instead of just doing this part-time shit.”

“Dude, that’s great! Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Yomogi shrugged. “You were preoccupied with your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my–”

Wait. Was he?

“He will be eventually.”

Kou sighed. “You think? He seems kind of like the casual relationship type–”

A dead-eyed stare from Yomogi shut him up.

“Sorry,” Kou muttered.

Yomogi chuckled. “You know I’m not serious with all that, right? It’s your first relationship; I know it’s a big deal.”

Kou smiled. “Thanks, man.”

“But once you two start going steady, I’m gonna need you to shut up about him a bit.”

“I don’t know if we’ll get to that point.”

Yomogi just looked at him with a raised eyebrow again. “Yeah, okay.”

“Well, I won’t bother you anymore. Have fun with your emails.”

“Oh, I won’t, but thanks!”

—

Saturdays were the worst days to work at the park. Not only was it always packed no matter the weather, but there were also a bunch of tourists, so Kou had to do double the work he normally did since he was the employee who spoke the most English. 

Rushing back to the theatre after handling a misunderstanding about ticket prices with a white family that wasn’t even from an English speaking country, Kou saw someone with pink hair and his thoughts immediately went to Mitsuba. 

No. Stop getting distracted. Plenty of people have pink hair.

Annoyed at his own mind, Kou tried to shift his entire focus to just his work, which was easy to do once there was a line for the theatre. Kou easily greeted customers, took tickets, and told people where to find their seats; it was second nature at that point. With how intensely he was focused on doing his job, though, he hadn’t even noticed that the last person in line was none other than Mitsuba Sousuke.

“Mitsuba?” What the fuck is he doing here? Is this another dream?

“Hey,” Mitsuba greeted with a smug-looking grin. 

“I thought you weren’t free yet?”

“I’m free right now.” Mitsuba pointed a finger at Kou. “You’re at work. So I had to compromise.”

“Right. Okay.” Kou was sure he was smiling like an idiot, but he couldn’t contain it. Mitsuba wanted to see me. “Do you actually have a ticket for the show?”

Mitsuba shook his head.

“Well, I’m still working, and we’re super busy today, so I don’t know what–”

“I came to give you something.”

Kou raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

And with that, Mitsuba was taking Kou’s jaw in his hand and kissing Kou.

What. 

What. The fuck.

It had to have only been one or two seconds, but it felt like time had stopped for him.

Kou knew he had to be bright red. “Mitsuba–”

Mitsuba, also blushing now, just smiled almost shyly. “That’s all. You can go back to work.”

“Well, no– I– What?” Kou sputtered.

Mitsuba suddenly looked a bit unsure. “Sorry, was that–”

“No, no! I’m just– I’m at work. And no one knows that I’m…” he trailed off.

Mitsuba looked around. “I don’t think anyone saw.”

Kou’s heart had to be double its usual rate. “Okay, okay. That’s… good. Um.”

This was moving fast– too fast. And during Kou’s shift, no less? What the actual fuck?

“What are we?”

Mitsuba’s eyes widened, and he laughed. “Whatever you want us to be, I guess.”

Kou shook his head. “This is too much. I don’t think I can go back to work normally now.”

“Well, you’re allowed to take bathroom breaks, aren’t you?”

“Yeah–”

“So take me to the staff bathroom.”

“Uh–”

“So we can talk. What, were you expecting me to want to fuck you in an amusement park bathroom?”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

Think. Wouldn’t it be better to just go with him before I lose my mind completely?

“Okay. Come with me.”

Kou entered the theatre, Mitsuba right behind him, and put his key into one of the staff-only bathrooms. Inside, Kou let himself lose his cool a little bit.

“Okay, what the fuck was that? You just showed up to my workplace while I’m on the clock and did that?”

Mitsuba looked surprised. “Is it really that big of a deal? It was just a kiss.”

“Yeah, for you! It was my–” Kou paused. It was pretty embarrassing to have his first kiss at age 25, huh?

Mitsuba tilted his head. “Your what?” Then he gasped as realization seemed to hit him. “Was it your first–”

“Shut up!” Kou was embarrassed now. Mitsuba really seemed like he had a lot of experience.

“Hey, I’m not judging.”

“Yes, you are.”

Mitsuba laughed. “Yeah, you’re right; I am. You’re my age, right? Twenty five?”

Kou crossed his arms. 

“Oh, I get it. Have you been saving yourself? And I was the one who captivated your heart? Oh, so romantic, Minamoto–”

“Shut up.”

“Relax, Minamoto. I just hope it was good for you.”

“Well, I couldn’t exactly process what happened, so–”

“So what I’m hearing is that we need to do it again.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be opposed, but–” Kou put his hand on Mitsuba’s chest as the man started leaning in to kiss him a second time, “don’t leave any marks. If it’s obvious that I kissed someone at work, I’m dead.”

“I know that, dumbass. C’mere.”

Mitsuba pulled Kou by his uniform’s collar and kissed him again, slower this time. Kou did what was comfortable for him while reciprocating, but he couldn’t get the thought out of his head that he was doing everything wrong. 

“Is it bad?” Kou asked him as soon as they pulled back for air.

“Huh?”

“Am I doing okay?”

Mitsuba snorted. “You’re fine. Does it not feel good for you?”

“No, it does. I just… didn’t really know what to do.”

Mitsuba huffed a laugh. “Don’t worry about it.”

This is weird. Kou couldn’t get that thought out of his head. It didn’t even feel real, and not in a good way.

“This is going too fast.”

“We can stop, if you want–”

“Yeah. I…” Kou took a breath. “I need to get back to work.”

His feet wouldn’t move.

“So leave.”

Kou should leave. So why was he wrapping his arms around Mitsuba and bringing their lips together again? Where was his common sense going? Something about this man was intoxicating.

“I thought you needed to work,” Mitsuba panted in a sultry voice.

“I do.”

“But you want to stay here with me?”

Kou nodded shakily. 

Mitsuba laughed, then whispered into Kou’s ear, “Don’t let me be a bad influence on you.” He put a hand on Kou’s cheek, left a small peck on his lips, and slipped out of the bathroom.

Kou still didn’t budge.

I’m still dreaming, right?