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It’s 2005 and after sixteen years, Doctor Who is back on screens. But it’s different this time. Previously, the Doctor kept his companions at arms length. Caring for them but never getting too close. Women were added to the show as simple eye candy for the male viewers. Literally referred to by one of the producers as “something for the dads.” They were certainly not there to be people for the Doctor to adore. And certainly not there as people for the Doctor to fall in love with. Doctor Who was free of that girly lovey dovey nonsense. Men who didn’t want any expectation that they should actually have to “deal with” the emotions of women found a completely safe space in Doctor Who. Especially for the incels.
Now suddenly, the Doctor is handing out a TARDIS key almost immediately to Rose Tyler just because she’s scared of abandonment. He’s hesitating on saving the world because he doesn’t want to save the world if she’s not part of the deal. He’s letting a Dalek loose for her. He’s allowing a timeline to happen that kills him so Rose doesn’t have to watch her dad die twice. He’s so fixated on her he’s smiling and at peace with the thought of being possessed just because he got to meet her. Now, the character who was this suave detached safe space for emotionally unavailable men, is suddenly completely invested in the emotional life of this “emotional, jealous, whiny, and bitchy woman.”
Then it seemingly got even WORSE after the first modern Doctor Who regeneration. Now the Doctor wasn’t even shy about his entire universe revolving around this obnoxiously high maintenance woman who isn’t even styled for the male gaze properly. Every single episode was full of this awful mushy gushy nonsense. He wasn’t even acting like a man anymore! He was behaving just as love struck as only women are supposed to behave. He’s decided that this completely unworthy low class woman is the one thing he believes in, in all of time and space. Never mind that he exists outside of gender. He appears as a man and he’s supposed to act like one.
Previously, the Doctor was a good male stereotype, being someone who showed more affection to his TARDIS than anyone else the same way men wanted to be allowed to show more affection to their cars and motorcycles than their wives. Now, even when he thinks he’s lost his TARDIS forever, he’s STILL busy making googly eyes at this pathetic girl.
It didn’t matter if you were a fan of classic who or not at this point. At this point, it was about what clearly looked like it could be a good show that was currently marred by the Doctor giving intense amounts of affection and love to the kind of “high maintenance” woman that absolutely doesn’t deserved to be treated as THAT special. Because they would never want to put that much energy into a woman.
The female fanbase on the other hand, was actually increasing. The relationship between the Doctor and Rose was a huge draw for women. But of course, those women who wanted to be different from other girls, were conforming with the patriarchy and the male read of the show. Especially for those who had built up their entire identities and sense of worth on being different from other women. Seeing a woman who is in fact what many consider your “basic” feminine girly girl, be loved and adored by someone like the Doctor, threatens that entire foundation. It’s the same pattern for many non binary and non gender non conforming people because at some level, the patriarchal perspective is still seen as the ideal and no matter your gender, there is a desire to conform with it in order to be accepted.
Rose Tyler was always seen as this massive problem for a large chunk of the fanbase. Even after she was gone the Doctor STILL kept pining for her. How was that problem going to be solved though? Go back to the old school detachment and Rose stands out even more. Can’t get rid of her that way.
Instead, they latched onto the love interests that at least conformed to the male gaze, were styled as femme fatales, and who spent their time exhibiting no emotional needs at all or having emotional needs that the Doctor would ignore. The answer to the problem was seemingly both River Song and Clara Oswald. River Song gave patriarchal conformists the fantasy of the Doctor having a wife who was almost never around and for whom he could invest little to no emotional labor at all. As Steven Moffat himself put it:
“There’s this issue you’re not allowed to discuss: that women are needy. Men can go for longer, more happily, without women. That’s the truth. We don’t, as little boys, play at being married – we try to avoid it for as long as possible. Meanwhile women are out there hunting for husbands.”
Then, Clara Oswald provided not only the male manic pixie dream girl fetish, but also the male fantasy of a woman who hero worships the man so much she wants to become him but will always fail. Sure, he’s once again far more affected by this woman than would be preferable considering the lengths he went to get her back after she died. But at least it provides the copium needed to allow people to feel Rose Tyler wasn’t the most important person to the Doctor. And AT LEAST he never had to show her a lot of emotional effort while she was alive. Much easier to watch a man pine for a dead woman than watch him actually be emotionally available to a living one. And most of all, at least these great lengths happened for a woman who was actually worthy of them (due to her meeting the required male fantasy criteria that Rose did not).
And so for everyone who hated or was even a little uncomfortable with Rose Tyler and insistent on her lack of worth to the Doctor, it was important to cling to the fact he went through enormous lengths to get her back after her death. Since this is seen by many as proof that Rose Tyler was finally no longer the most important person to the Doctor. Nevermind the fact that the Doctor was happier with Rose, more invested in her when she was actually alive, and that he would’ve gone to at least the same lengths for her if not greater lengths had she actually died. Nevermind he couldn’t destroy the laws of time to get her back after she was separated from him because that could be the thing that actually killed her. The anti Rose fanbase finally had something to help them sleep at night and allow them to feel that the scourge of Rose Tyler was finally irrelevant. Now, back then they were still met with a decent amount of backlash.
But….
Fast forward to 2025 and now it’s cool to hate on anything RTD. He came back to the show a completely different writer and the quality has gone down. And so now, the anti Rose crowd has new momentum. It’s cooler than ever to hate her. And even if you don’t hate her, the idea that she can’t possibly be THAT special to the Doctor has leached into the fandom so much that people honestly believe Clara was more special due to one single circumstance that never happened with Rose. Ignoring all of the ways Rose was more beloved while she was alive. Ignoring the clear fact that the Doctor naturally has to act differently when being separated from someone vs when they’re dead.
To prove my point even more, why is it that Hell Bent/Heaven Sent supposedly proves outright that Clara meant more to the Doctor than Rose, but the same people who believe that still sunk her in favor of the TARDIS in Tumblr’s“Who is the Doctor’s Favorite? Tournament.” If that one singular event is complete proof against Rose, why isn’t it for the TARDIS? The Doctor never ended up needing to do anything so drastic for the TARDIS either.
The answer is that the belief the Doctor must love his TARDIS above all else is one of the most sacred patriarchal fantasies. Sure, she’s actually sentient unlike a man’s car or motorcycle. But the idea that the Doctor loves his TARDIS above all else served as a sort of permission for men. That it’s okay to love a machine more than a person. And just like a car or motorcycle, the TARDIS doesn’t “nag” or act “needy” or “clingy”. Here’s a Facebook reply to a post stating the fact that men love cars more than women. Despite the TARDIS’ sentience, most of these apply to her too:
“Why shouldn't we? 1. Cars have warning lights when something is wrong. Girls become monosyllabic and walk faster. 2. You can dress up your car the way you want. 3. A car is more straightforward to lubricate. 4. Cars will never tell you to dress up if you're going out with a group in the evening. 5. When the car's speaker is loud, you can lower the volume. Or mute it! 6. Cars don't ask you if they look fat. 7. Cars don't ask why you haven't introduced them to your mother. 8. Cars don't need to go to the restroom together and compare notes. 9. It's less expensive to upgrade a car's bumpers. 10. Cars are more likely to get along with your male buddies. 11. You can love two cars at the same time and nobody will think you're a jerk. 12. Cars don't ask you where 'this' is going. They go where you point the steering wheel. 13. Cars don't feel insecure about the car you had before them. 14. Cars don't give you hell for looking at other cars.”
So you see, when most people are asked who the Doctor’s true soulmate is. They will say TARDIS. Others might say the Master because once again, the Master is not a clingy, whiny, needy, bitchy woman like Rose Tyler. And the Doctor as a practically immortal higher level being, should be far above stupid things like a romance with a woman like that.
Still don’t believe this is all misogyny? On the mostly mixed gender platform of Tumblr, the majority reject the idea that Rose is the Doctor’s true soulmate. But on the female dominated Chinese platform Rednote, the majority believe she is. Sure, there are probably other cultural differences besides gender. But, it can also be seen that on platforms where the male fantasy has less influence, the importance of Rose Tyler is not nearly as overlooked or rejected.
As I close off this essay, I will leave you with some facts that SHOULD be common sense:
1. The Doctor has in fact shown more love and affection to Rose Tyler than anyone else in the show.
2. It is okay for someone to have a love of their lives no matter how long they live.
3. Love is not something that’s constrained by time, race, lifespans, or distance.
4. Someone who repeatedly hurts and abuses another person is not their soulmate.
5. The Doctor has never put his TARDIS before anyone close to them.
6. If you believe in soulmates, then the obvious answer is that the Doctor’s IS Rose Tyler. She was written to be his soulmate by RTD at a time when he was invested in the show and could pull off his intentions. Not to mention both Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant acted the role with the intention that Rose was the Doctor’s soulmate.
7. And no, you’re not above misogyny or internalized misogyny just because your politics are liberal or leftist.