Archive of Our Own ^beta

After waking up in SecUnit’s arms once, I was not surprised by how badly I wanted to do it again— daily, ideally, but I didn’t want to make myself burdensome to it with the extent of my need. I’d been told before, more than once, that I was too needy as a partner, and while I had no reason to think SecUnit would be that cruel to me, it seemed wiser not to give it any reason to say anything of the sort. I didn’t want it to think that I only wanted it in my bed for sexual reasons, but it felt like asking too much to say, “I think my life would be immeasurably better if I slept beside you every night.”

It would be too needy to ask for its physical presence as often as I wanted to be near it, but in the feed we were never more than a thought apart— its dry commentary on my daily routines observed through the drone it always kept on me, my idle curiosity about what was on its mind at any time of cycle. I couldn’t help asking it so many times when I felt it brush against me in the feed, what do you want? Its answers were always different— Season twenty-two of Sanctuary Moon. Soft pajama pants with extra pockets. This incredibly talkative port official to shut the fuck up for ten minutes. I asked it again, toward the end of today’s work period, and received the sweetest reply yet: I want to walk you home from work.

SecUnit was loitering in front of the station systems central offices when I came out fifteen minutes later, gaze turned up to the ceiling so no one could clock that it was watching media. The slight smile at the corner of its lips let me know that it was well aware I was there as I came up beside it. “I didn’t realize I rated a personal escort,” I teased, and that got it to look at me from the corner of its eye as it turned over control of the drone it had designated for my use when we were together.

“I think you don’t realize a lot of the things you’re worth,” it said.

I think you don’t realize that my heart is in your teeth when you say things like that to me, I sent in our private feed, too shy to speak it aloud.

That sounds dangerous. And kind of gross. When I let out a stifled snort of laughter, it smirked and tilted its head in the direction of my apartment. Let’s go?

The walk from my workplace to my home took twenty minutes if we didn’t pass through any particularly busy areas; SecUnit’s network of drones made it easy to avoid any place with too many people and bots around, but we weren’t walking through any deserted corridors, either. I felt the urge to reach out for it— to put my hand on its arm, or hold its hand— but I didn’t, not with my body anyways, just brushed against it in the feed with the casual closeness between us that still seemed like such a miracle.

I want to do something new with you tonight, it sent.

Of course, anything you want, I sent back, and when it didn’t reply for a long minute, added, …but you still have to tell me what you want to try, first.

When I was in your dreams, the last one we shared… I had my fingers inside you…

The drone showed me my face going blotchy red in an instant, while we walked through a plaza with eating establishments along one wall, busy at this time of the cycle, far too many people around for the surge of desire that nearly took me out at the knees. Yes absolutely yes please.

I mean, I want them other places on you first. But in you, too. It knew what it was doing to me already, from the smirk it wore, and just kept on doing it. I’ve been thinking a lot about touching you since that morning.

Probably not as much as I’ve been thinking about you touching me.

I process at considerably higher speeds than you do. I highly doubt you’ve thought about it more because I’ve been thinking about it almost non-stop.

I grabbed its arm simply so I could stay upright. The metadata on its words was dripping lust, and my legs went weak at the thought of it spending the entirety of the past three cycles fantasizing about touching me. It slid its arm around my waist as casually as if we did this every day, taking my weight easily, and that smirk— that smirk was probably going to be the last thing I ever saw before I expired of sheer pleasure under its hands. Fuck’s sake, Murderbot, are you trying to make me walk into a wall?

I’m trying to make you walk faster, it sent, unless you’d prefer I pick you up and carry you the rest of the way?

Yeah, that was exactly what we needed: with the speed of gossip here, all of Preservation Station would know that SecUnit had carried me home by tomorrow morning. I can walk faster, I insisted, ignoring how badly the thought of it picking me up made me want to be in its arms right now. Putting up my personal sense of dignity versus my extremely undignified desires was a fight I’d lose whichever direction it went. Better to stay on my own two feet.

My door was open before we reached the proximity it should have cued for my augments, and I let SecUnit chivvy me into the living room, turning to look up at it as the door closed behind us. I was still flushed, and its hands were pale against my skin when it cupped my cheeks. “Flustering you is way too much fun,” it murmured, and bent to kiss me. Every time it kissed me felt like a victory when it had spent so long denying me— but there was very little denial left between us any more.

“Fun for you,” I said.

Its brows arched. “You want to pretend you don’t enjoy it? You know I can read your emotional metadata, right? You love when I tease you.”

“Yeah, I do.” No point in pretending, but that wasn’t what I meant anyways— “I like it when you’re enjoying yourself because of me.”

“I know,” it breathed, and smiled: not just a hint of a smile, but a complete one, bright with delight that lit its face up like planetary sunrise. I saved that sight to my augments immediately, and put a priority tag on the file. “You enjoy me enjoying you. It’s a virtuous cycle.”

“I don’t know about virtuous,” I said, and squeezed its ass just because I could. “Feels a bit debauched, actually.”

“Debauchery is the plan,” it agreed, fingers playing with the top button of my cardigan. “Is there anything you need to do before we get started with that?”

“A couple of things,” I said. Eager as I was to let it have its way with me, I hadn’t eaten anything in hours, and it wouldn’t hurt to wash up before it got its hands all over me. “If you don’t mind watching some media on the couch, it should take me… about an episode of Sanctuary Moon.”

“Okay.” The sight of it on the couch vividly brought to mind the last time it had been on that couch— naked and whimpering under my hands and mouth— and I shook my head to clear it as I went to take care of all the boring human necessities standing between me and SecUnit’s curiosity. Twenty-three minutes later I was nourished, clean, and as physically prepared as I could be to let SecUnit do whatever it wanted to me. (Emotionally, I’d been ready for— much, much longer than that.) No point in getting dressed when I’d be undressed imminently; I wrapped a robe around myself before coming back out to where SecUnit was in the exact same position I’d left it. I tapped its feed, saw that there were three minutes left in its episode, and sat down next to it. When it put its hand on my leg and started tracing idle shapes around the scar above my knee, I tried not to make a sound and interrupt the undoubted cliffhanger the episode would end on.

“You didn’t have to wait for the episode to finish,” it said as soon as it was over.

“The show is important to you,” I said, shrugging slightly. “I wasn’t going to interrupt.”

“You’re important to me,” it retorted, “and I can process multiple inputs simultaneously, you know.”

“Maybe I just wanted your undivided attention,” I said, making no attempt to hide my little smile.

“You’ve got it,” SecUnit said, heart-achingly sincere, the hand on my knee sliding up under the hem of my robe to squeeze my thigh. “Will you lie down and let me touch you now?”

“Yes, please.” Before I could stand up, it had me in its arms, carrying me into the bedroom like I weighed nothing at all, holding me like the most precious of treasures until it set me down on the bed. “It’s so fucking hot that you can manhandle me like that,” I gasped, looking up at it looming over me with desire in its blue eyes. “You can— if you want to— you can just move me however you like, tonight. Whatever you want to do to me.”

“I know what I want to do to you,” it murmured, pulling my robe open and laying me bare, its eyes roving my body and widening when they reached my half-hard cock. “I’ve barely touched you…”

“I’ve been half-stocked since you said you want to put your fingers in me,” I admitted, spreading my legs as its fingers caressed my bad knee. “I spent most of my willpower not touching myself in the shower, I didn’t want to cheat you out of getting me all worked up yourself.”

“Aren’t you considerate,” it teased, big hands spreading over both my thighs and pressing my legs apart a little wider, its head tilted as it looked down at me. “Let me in?”

I opened my augments to it, head swimming with the rush as it flooded into them and wrapped my senses around itself. “I’m all yours,” just a statement of fact, but one that drew a quiet sound from its throat, like hearing it was a surprise.

“Gurathin,” it breathed, “all mine,” its hands traveling all over my body, possessive in a way that made my skin sing: firm touch, warm skin, so strong and so solid and so real that I couldn’t mistake this for a dream even for a moment. Goosebumps on my arms, smoothed out under its heated hands; my skin going flushed as its hands moved across my chest, fingers stirring my chest hair lightly, thumbs brushing over my nipples making me moan and arch into its touch. “You look so good like this. You feel so good like this.”

“You make me feel so good like this,” I told it, my breath shuddering out of me as it traced the pale borders of my skin from neck to belly, one finger dipping into my bellybutton curiously. “The way you touch me, like I’m—”

“Mine,” it said again, voice gone low and fierce. “Like you’re mine. Because you are.” Its hands moved to my sides, a light touch that made me squirm in a good way. “Like you’re beautiful, like you’re precious, like you’re a fucking revelation, like I could do this all cycle long and start over again in the morning? All of that.”

“You’re going to absolutely ruin me for anyone else,” I said, and suddenly my chin was in its hand, my eyes wide under its laser-intense stare.

“Good. No one else deserves to have you.”

“Fuck…” Okay, that was a whimper, I couldn’t deny it. “I don’t want anyone else anyways. Only you.” The last crush I had before SecUnit had been Mensah, and as much as I wanted her before— as much as I still loved her, as I always would love her— my desire for her had been the flicker of a match next to the absolute inferno of how much I wanted it, a level of need that could easily burn me to nothing but ashes but for SecUnit’s astonishing capacity to cherish me right back.

Only you, it whispered in the feed, as it bent to kiss me. Only you, as its hands traveled down my legs, catching at my knees and pressing them apart. Its fingers dipped into the hollows of both my knees and I couldn’t help giggling at the featherlight touch on one of my most ticklish spots. It looked at me, wide-eyed with surprise at the sensation of being tickled. “What the hell was that?” it asked in bemusement.

“I guess it wouldn’t make any sense for SecUnits to have ticklish places,” I said. “Lots of humans have spots on their bodies that make them laugh when they’re touched there. You— ahaha, hey!” It didn’t let me finish my explanation before it tickled me again, staring down at me as I wriggled and laughed and utterly failed to even attempt to evade its fingers.

“Human bodies are so fucking weird,” it said fondly, hands roaming with a teasing touch this time, finding the vulnerable spots on my sides, under my arms, then going back to my knees, until I had tears running down my cheeks and I couldn’t catch my breath, at which point it relented— now that my whole body was so sensitive that even its shallow breath on my skin felt like a caress. “I like the way you laugh when I do that.”

“I— hah. I can’t remember the last time I was tickled.” Not that the last time mattered. What mattered was that SecUnit liked it and I would let it do anything it liked to me, even if it left me breathless and sensitized and so fucking needy that I couldn’t do anything but beg as it pressed my thighs open again. “Please, I need—”

“I know what you need.” SecUnit’s voice was low, purring, as it traced two fingers up my thigh, skimmed down my perineum, and teased at my hole. “What you need, and what I want to give you.”

There was lube in the bedside drawer; I was grateful for the perspective of the drone so I didn’t have to fumble for it. Beside the little bottle was another thing I’d put there in hopes of eventual use. I lifted out the bottle and the extra-large disposable medical gloves and said, “I know you don’t like fluids, would you prefer to wear gloves to do this? I have a pair that should fit you.”

“No. It’s fine. This first time I want to feel this... I want to feel exactly what I’m doing to you.” Its voice was soft, slightly hoarse, rough-edged with honesty and trepidation.

“You’re going to be the end of me,” I whimpered, a bead of wetness slipping down the length of my twitching cock from how impossibly hot those words were coming from my notoriously anti-mess construct. It just smirked as it took the lube from me and spilled a little onto its fingers, rubbing them together with a thoughtful look.

“It doesn’t feel that different from my internal lubricant,” it said. “Thinner, a little less oily… Huh.” When it refocused between my legs, I couldn’t help trembling before it even touched me. “Hold your parts out of the way,” it said distractedly, its fingertips slipping over my hole as I cupped my balls and pressed my cock up against my lower belly. Its other hand put my leg over its shoulder, keeping me spread for its investigation. “Are you sure you want me to put my fingers in here? It’s so small and tight…”

“Fuck,” I whined, halfway to coming already from its unintentional dirty talk. I gave my cock a rough squeeze to pull myself back from the edge. “Yes, right there, keep— ah!— keep rubbing right there, I swear it won’t take long before you can put them inside, just don’t stop.”

“I have no intention of stopping,” it promised. When its fingertips were finally able to press into my yielding body, my eyes squeezed shut, but that faithful drone let me see the undisguised fascination in its eyes as it watched its fingers slide deeper inside me. It tried to spread its fingers apart and murmured, “So tight,” when my body resisted. “I don’t understand why that feels so good.”

It was staring between my legs with fascination clear on its face as its fingers twisted inside me, its lips quirking up at one corner as I whimpered shamelessly and tossed my head back against the bed. “T-try curling them,” I managed to stammer, and when it did just that I keened its name as my eyes squeezed shut. I was dripping precome all over my stomach, throbbing under my fingers that I fought to keep still. Stroking myself would only be a distraction from the amount of pleasure those long fingers were playing into me; when I came I wanted it to be solely from what SecUnit was so happy to give me while it explored my reactions and discovered where and how to touch me to drive me out of my mind.

“Look at you,” it murmured tenderly, pushing the feed from one of its drones at me: flushed from my hairline all the way down my chest, my mouth open on rough panting breaths, my whole body taut and trembling as it rubbed one fingertip against my prostate with devastating precision. The drone focused in on the string of precome dangling from the tip of my cock into the puddle already on my belly, and I felt its curiosity sharpen before it said, “Hold that up for me.”

“Wh-what—?”

“Unless you don’t want my mouth on it…?” When I pointed my cock at it with alacrity, it laughed at me, sweet and teasing at my eager response. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” And then—

I had thought about this before, wondering what it might be like, without ever expecting it to happen. I never would have asked it to suck me, in my awkward attempts to respect its boundaries without making it state them, but since it was the one offering, its own curiosity driving it, I could no more deny it than I could stop my own heart racing in my chest as it took me in down to where my fingers were curled around the base. Its mouth was hot, the thin oral lubricant it had instead of saliva coating my skin as its tongue explored me.

“Oh, fuck, you— how do you know what to do with your mouth already?”

I learn fast, it sent, metadata equal parts amusement and arousal. Getting you to make all those desperate sounds is a strong motivation. It paused, then added, And I might have looked through your viewed pornography. Of course it had. If this was the result, it could look at whatever it wanted.

“I'm already so close,” I warned it, and sobbed when its teeth skimmed up my length as it pulled back.

“I'm enjoying this way too much for it to be over so soon,” it said, low and fierce and casually in control in a way that made me clench helplessly around its fingers. “How long do you think you can hold on?”

“Don't know… I'll try… for you.” Trying was the best I could offer; I was pretty sure that whenever I came would be before it wanted me to. Part of me wondered if— hoped— it would go at me again before I was recovered. It hadn’t worked out enjoyably with prior partners, but I had a feeling that being overstimulated by SecUnit would be an experience like none other, like everything else we’d done together had been unprecedented and incredible.

“Good,” it breathed, “you're very good.” It petted me inside, fingertips stroking over my sweet spot, making it extremely difficult for me to do anything but shiver and gasp as it toyed with me. “I didn't realize it was possible for you to get even prettier when you're all worked up for me. You're all messy and damp and it should be gross… but I can't get enough of the sight of you this way.”

“Whenever you want me like this,” I whimpered. “I’m all yours.”

“Yeah, you are.” The casual possessiveness in its voice didn't feel casual where it filled my augments like it belonged inside me, not casual when it worked another finger into me and spread them out, stretching me so deliciously that tears welled in my eyes. “Tell me how it feels.”

“You can feel it too,” I groaned, holding onto it inside my augments but not with my hands, which were desperately tangled in the sheets.

“Yes,” it said, staring at me with something like hunger in its eyes. “But I want to hear you say it.”

“Feels like— ah!” Fucking cheater tapped my prostate as soon as I started talking, breaking my voice in half as my body spasmed. “Empty void, Murderbot…” It snickered at my desperation and I soaked in its delight. “Feels like I’m full of you everywhere I can be. Like you couldn’t take me any more than you are.”

“Mm, doubt that,” it said, and the smirk on its lips vanished as it took my cock in its mouth again, proving its point in visceral fashion as it swallowed around me.

“Oh fuck oh fuck I’m gonna come,” I gasped, one hand going into its hair to try to pull it back.

Good. Let me have it, it said, and— what could I do with an order like that besides obey?

My orgasm hit me like a wave crashing over my head, sweeping me away on a tide of sheer bliss, utterly capsized and helpless under the construct who loved me more than I ever imagined I could be loved. I must have blacked out for a while, because when I took a shuddering breath and opened my eyes SecUnit was sitting up, its lips pursed and its fingers still in me but slowly withdrawing.

“What—?” I didn’t finish my question before it darted from the bed and spat into the waste basket on the other side of the room. When it turned back to me it was licking its lips with a perturbed expression. “I didn’t think you would want to do that,” I said, brows arched.

“I don’t want to do that again,” it said dryly. “Once was enough to cure my curiosity.”

“I did warn you first.”

“Yes. But I wanted to know,” it said.

“Does it taste that bad?”

“I don’t have a lot of experience tasting things. The taste wasn’t the problem, it’s the texture…” It made another face as it added, “Give me a minute,” and went into the bathroom. I sent the drone after it, too wrung out to do anything but lie sprawled on my bed and catch my breath as the aftershocks made my fingers twitch and my toes curl. It washed its hands, dried them, made a face and washed them again, rinsed out its mouth, and then wet a small towel and brought it back out to the bed, where it stood at the foot of it and surveyed my body with a look of unutterable smugness. “Next time I’ll use the gloves,” it said, and pressed my legs apart so it could clean me up with the towel, gentle swipes over sensitive skin.

“You… want to do that again?” I let it move me however it wanted, languid and amazed under its touch, at what it said.

“You said I could have you like that whenever I wanted,” it said, and glanced up at me through its lashes. “Did you not mean it?”

“I meant it. I just didn’t think—”

“The blowjob part, I don’t want to repeat, at least not to the end like that. But the fingers inside you part? That was great. That made us both feel really good.” When it finished cleaning me, it tossed the towel into the bathroom without looking away from me, and then it laid down on top of me, radiating warmth. “Can we just lie like this for a while?” it asked belatedly, but I knew it could feel my contentment through the connection still open between us, no reason to think my answer would be anything but what it was:

“Yes, absolutely.” When I put my arms around it, it sighed softly and pressed its face into the curve of my neck. I let one hand stroke up and down its back. “Thank you,” I said, lips brushing its hair. “It’s so sweet of you to make my dreams come true like that.”

That dream, we shared, it reminded me. Well, dreams could be forgotten over time; nothing about what it had just done to me would ever be lost when it was saved directly to my most secure storage space. I smiled and hugged it tighter when it showed me the file path to its permanent storage where its own memory of the night— and all our prior nights— was saved.