Archive of Our Own ^beta

He remembers the exact moment he sees any unwaivering trust in Andrew vanish in Kevin’s eyes.

His twin's palms against his jugular, fingers around his neck, crushing his windpipe as he slams him backwards. Everything they may have had wheezed out as Kevin could do nothing but watch in abject horror. Aaron was intimately familiar with the glazed look that trickled over his expression after, the barely detectable tremor in his voice as he tried to speak. Andrew's blade was held to the soft underside of his jaw, the tip digging in as he delivered a silent threat. Words were unnecessary accoutrement he needn't worry himself with; Kevin knew what he was after.

The sharpened steel spoke for him, demanding to know where Neil was, threatening to kill Kevin if he didn't tell him. "Tell me where the fuck he is," Andrew had said through gritted teeth after his first deflection, pressing in the tip until a single bead of blood pooled at the tip and rolled down the length of the knife. "Tell me where Neil is, Kevin. now."

"He's too much like Riko," Kevin whispers against Aaron's skin, face tucked against the curve of his neck.

He knew if his twin ever heard those words a bruised neck would be the least of Kevin's worries. He cups the back of his head and tightens the grip on his waist, rolling them so Kevin was with his back to the wall and Aaron with his back to the world. "I know," he says, his voice tight. It would be their secret. Those words, whatever this was turning into, and anything else. Andrew got his secrets, Aaron was entitled to his own.

Kevin slides his arms around his waist and presses in closer. His next exhale is shaky and the following inhale is ragged. He fists Aaron's shirt, and his neck is wet a few seconds later. He rubs his hand awkwardly up and down Kevin's back. They've shared a bed and a few other secrets since Andrew had taken Neil in. But this, now, after Thanksgiving - Andrew was more volatile than he'd been even when Aaron first met him.

"I've got you," he whispers, somewhat awkwardly. Kevin chokes on a sob and crushes Aaron to his chest.

"I'm not replacing him with you. You are your own. You've always been-" Kevin pauses, gasping for air.

"You don't have to explain yourself."

"I want you to know what you and this mean to me," Kevin says shakily. "It wasn't the same. He's-"

"I've killed someone, too. We're similar."

"No," Kevin rushes out. "You... you did that to protect him. He makes promises and breaks them whenever it benefits him," Kevin says shakily. "He did it to you, he did it to me, he does it to everyone."

"He's selfish," Aaron confirms. "He killed my mother and stole our inheritance and won't even let me drive the fucking car."

Kevin takes a shaky breath. "We should steal it."

"And do what? Go where?"

"I don't know. Let's go to dinner. I have the charge card."

Aaron hums thoughtfully. "He'll lose his mind if we're missing."

"Maybe he'll finally feel bad for choking me," Kevin says, an acrid taste on his tongue. He sits up and looks down at Aaron. "Let's do it."

"You're being reckless."

"I have nothing to lose. I have no one."

"So I'm nothing?" Aaron asks quietly. "Thanks, Kevin."

"You don't want me," he says with a bitter smile. "I'm a convenience and revenge against Andrew."

Aaron crosses his arms behind his head. "Really?"

"Don't play with me. You have Katelyn."

"She's just a friend. She's gay," he says with a slow smile. "Nobody believes me about her." He watches a few expressions flit across Kevin's face, then laughs at his next question.

"So... when we kissed...?"

"Yeah. You talk about being gifted but you're fucking dense."

Kevin glares good-naturedly at Aaron. "I thought you were homophobic."

He shrugs. "Hard not to be around Nicky. But you... Mr. It's Easier To Be Straight?"

"You know where I was raised. Being anything less than perfect got you-" he pauses and swallows thickly before looking away. The word he chooses isn't accurate, Aaron can tell, but it suffices. "-punished. Severely."

Aaron reaches to cup Kevin's elbow. "Let's go for that ride."

"Now who's being reckless?" Kevin asks, his voice hollow. He still follows Aaron when he stands.

"I killed for him. I won't get anything out of it, so the car for an evening will have to do."

Kevin stares down at Aaron for a long beat. A determined look works it on his face. "Put on a nice outfit."

"How nice?"

"What you wore to the banquet should suffice."

Aaron narrows his eyes, but he is moving to comply without fight. Kevin moves with him, sifting through their closet, his front pressed to Aaron's back. It feels comfortable in a way Kevin hasn't let himself indulge in a while. Aaron passes him his dress slacks before staring at an item on a hanger. "If I don't want to wear that suit?"

"What is it?"

"Jumpsuit."

"Aaron..."

"Hear me out," he says with a smile. "Andrew hates it but it's because I look hotter in it."

Kevin glares at the material before shrugging. "There's a dress code where I want to take you."

"Oh? We aren't going to Sweetie's?"

Kevin grimaces. "I hate you for asking."

Aaron turns to him before stepping in close, their chests flush. "What will you do about it?"

"Nothing in these dorms," he scoffs in reply, sliding away from Aaron. He hesitates, staring into the bathroom, before shrugging to himself. He sets his clothes across Nicky's mattress and strips down. They keep their backs to each other as they change. Aaron finishes first, content to lean against the wall and watch Kevin. He earns a couple of pillows lobbed at his head for his dedicated study, but the third one doesn't leave Kevin's hands when he takes in Aaron in the material. He's short, it's no secret, but the material makes his legs look miles long. The cinched waist accentuates how broad his shoulders are in comparison, and the deep v in the collar leaves Kevin's mouth watering.

"Take a photo," Aaron says, still leaning casually against the wall, "It'll last longer."

"Fuck you," Kevin mutters, crossing the space. He places a hand against the wall on either side of Aaron, glaring down at him. His eyes keep flitting to his mouth, and Aaron winks up at him. He opens his mouth, most likely to further tease Kevin, but he's heard enough for the evening. He closes the distance between them and presses a heavy kiss to Aaron's mouth, making a quiet noise at the way Aaron gasps before jumping into gear to return it. He doesn't give him the chance, grinning as he leans back and Aaron follows after him. "We have places to be."

Aaron's eye twitches. "I've got someone to do."

"Maybe later," Kevin says, kissing the corner of Aaron's mouth before peeling himself away. He roots around Andrew's bed before producing a small velvet satchel tucked under the edge of the mattress. He takes the key to the Maserati off its chain before returning it to its place. "He's going to move that later."

"Who cares," Aaron says, patting Kevin's ass appreciatively as he leads the way from the room. Making it downstairs was relatively easy — it was a Tuesday night and everyone on the team was either in the library or studying in their rooms. The first issue they ran into was when they made it to the car and Kevin held the keys out to Aaron. "I'm driving?"

Kevin shrugs. "I never learned how."

Aaron grins as he catches the keys. "We should steal it for the week and teach you to drive. Bring it back with a couple of scratches."

"I fear we would end up in the morgue."

Aaron turns the key in the ignition before saying, "If he ever lays a finger on you again, he will be the one in a body bag."

Kevin goes silent after that, but he rests his hand on the center console. Whenever Aaron isn't shifting gears or using both hands on the steering wheel, they brush their pinkies together. It's enough to have them both red in the face. It was Andrew's car, and while there weren't eyes or cameras trained on them, it felt like sneaking around right in front of him. By the time they made it to the city, Kevin was panting.

"Where do I park?" Aaron asks. "I still don't know where we're going."

"Go to the garage on 7th. It's a block away."

They're silent as Aaron parks. After the car beeps with the lock, he asks, "Are we going to that fondue spot?"

"Nope. David would kill me for a charge like that," Kevin says. "There's a nice taco truck."

"Why did we dress up?" Aaron asks incredulously.

Kevin doesn't bother with a sideways glance as he says, "So I'd have something pretty to look at."

Aaron only pauses for a few steps before jogging to catch up. "You're so fucking gay."

"You're walking behind me to stare at my ass," Kevin says, once again without needing to look to confirm. "And if you try to argue with me I'm not buying you anything to eat." In lieu of an answer Aaron reaches out and smacks his ass. Kevin finally looks over his shoulder and winks. "Good boy."

Aaron chokes on his next breath, face heating up. He flips off Kevin when he notices he's taking a chance to really appreciate the sight. "Turn around before you walk into a street sign."

"You wouldn't let me."

Aaron glares at him, mentally denying that the words made his face heat further. Kevin makes an appreciative sound before finally turning back around. He leads Aaron to a small grass area off the city square, walking past a few food trucks. Most offer some sort of barbecue, there's a chocolate dipped banana stall, and at the very end is a beat up trailer with a hand written menu. It smells fucking divine. He lets Kevin order for them both as he takes in their surroundings, trying to decide if he may want to try something from one of the other vendors. Tacos are good, but Aaron was a fucking black hole and Kevin only ordered 3 for each of them.

He can't help the pornographic sounds that leave his mouth as he scarfs down the first one, tucked against Kevin's side sat on a concrete bench at the edge of the small food truck park. "Jesus fucking Christ, Kev. How did you find this?"

"I used to take walks. Andrew would drop me off and fuck off wherever he went. I was usually starving because the food on campus is garbage."

"Compared to the pampering you got in the nest, I bet. But free food is free food."

Kevin shrugs. "I had my own private chef, but the food never tasted very good because of our diet restrictions. But—" Kevin says, interrupting Aaron's snarky remark, "It was always fresh and I took that for granted."

Aaron sighs and once he finishes his 3rd taco, he says, "I'll learn how to cook for you."

"What about med school?"

"How about you pay for it with your pro contracts and I'll cook the meals between clinic hours?"

Kevin stills, then presses himself flush to Aaron's side. "That sounds like a nice plan."

"We can rent a crappy 2 bed apartment close to whatever hospital I work at."

"Wouldn't a 1 bed be cheaper?" Kevin asks. He's staring dedicated at a crack in the sidewalk in front of them.

"You sure you want to be cramped in that small of a space with me?"

"How would it be any different than the way we currently live?"

Aaron nods. "You're allowed to want to change your situation. We don't have to share a room. And in case it— anything happens," Aaron shrugs.

"I'm not good at being alone."

"We get a 2 bed apartment and the spare is your in-home gym and PT spot."

Kevin nods. "Then if something happens—"

"—or we decide each having our own space to retreat to is something we want," Aaron offers.

Kevin nods. "We'll have it if we want it." He slides his arm around Aaron's shoulders after scanning their surroundings. "Talking about the future like that is weird."

"What is? Getting to make decisions for yourself?"

"Looking forward to it," Kevin says quietly.

Aaron turns to him. "Yeah. It's a little weird, huh?"

He ends up eating a half rack of ribs and a banana and a half. Kevin makes sure no cheezy joke goes unsaid. Aaron gives him half a show with the second one, grinning proudly to himself at the shade of red Kevin's cheeks bloom with. Sure, red wasn't his color, but that was because he'd never let Aaron dress him previous. The dusting on his cheeks and down his neck, disappearing under his partially unbuttoned dress shirt was a sight Aaron wanted to forever keep to himself. Kevin looked ethereal like this. He always should.

When they make it back to the car, Aaron pulls his phone out of the glove box with Kevin's. Between the 2 of them, there are about 53 missed calls, mostly from Nicky. Kevin calls him back once they're on the road.

"We went out for dinner." He purses his lips as Nicky babbles something. "No, no. We don't need permission— yes, Nicky. We. Aaron is with me. Nobody is de—" He scowls this time. Aaron reaches over and sets a hand on his knee. Kevin slumps in his seat before pushing his leg up, pressing into Aaron's comforting heat. "Nicky— No. No, I'm not talking to Andrew. We'll back in 20 minutes."

He sets his hand against the back of Aaron's on his leg and starts tracing the tip of his middle finger up and down Aaron's own.

"No. We'll be there soon. I don't care—" he sighs out sharply. "Nicholas, we will be back soon. I will talk with him them. Go drink a glass of water and ask the girls if you can stay with them tonight."

This time he turns to Aaron. His eyes are tired; that comfortable glimmer he'd had previous is gone. Aaron scowls angrily at that fact, squeezing Kevin's knee.

"They want us to go to the house."

"No, I have an 8am lecture tomorrow. I'm not making that drive with morning traffic."

Nicky spouts something on the other end of the line and Kevin scoffs in annoyance. "We'll meet you at the dorms." He hangs up as Nicky starts talking again, sounding panicked. He drops his phone on the floor board before taking Aaron's hand in both of his and cupping it to his face before burying against the warm flesh of his palm. It's an awkward stretch on Aaron's arm, but he adjusts to sit slightly askew in the driver's seat as Kevin leans across to rest his temple against Aaron's shoulder. He brushes his thumb back and forth against Kevin's cheekbone, humming mindlessly to the radio in the now almost deafening silence of the car.

When they make it back to campus, Kevin tenses up further. He's clinging to Aaron's wrist, now, panting against his skin as he keeps pressing his face tighter against his palm, trying as if to escape somehow.

"I can't do this," he whispers when Aaron throws the car into park. "Aaron, I can't do this."

"Yes you can."

"The last time I tried something like this I ended up with my hand broken."

"Last time you didn't have me," Aaron offers. "I probably can't keep you unscathed, but I won't let him hurt you like that. Physically— I doubt I'm fast enough to get a gag on him."

Kevin goes pale. "He knows so much," he whispers, dread heavy in the pained way he whispers. "Aaron—"

"It's just us. You know about most of our lives. I won't judge you for any secret he's keeping to use against you."

"I've done some horrible—"

"Don't care," Aaron says. "Everyone gets a chance to be different. Let me actually give you one."

Kevin looks at him, the two of them standing on the passenger side of the Maserati. The lights in the stadium parking lot are bright, and Kevin has this worried pinch in his brow. Aaron grabs half of his shirt collar and pulls him down, brushing his lips against the crumpled skin.

"Kevin Day."

"What?" he asks, breathless.

"Let's do this. And then let's get the best sleep of our fucking lives."

"He's going to kick us out of the dorm."

Aaron nods, shifting to rest with his back to Kevin's front. "Hold me," he instructs quietly as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. A quick text to Matt and Dan, and then he's saying, "Matt will stay the night with Dan and says we can use Seth's spare bed if Andrew does that. Or Andrew and Neil will have their room to themselves."

Kevin presses his face in the curve of Aaron's neck, arms circling his waist before squeezing tight. "Aaron—"

"Well, well! The two car thieves are back, it seems." Andrew's voice cuts right through them.

Kevin flinches and moves to pull away from Aaron, but he instead grabs his elbow and holds him in place. "Don't go anywhere on his behalf."

"Oh, yes, you already have! And you stole the car, too? Naughty boys," Andrew says through gritted teeth. His shoes crunch in the gravel as he stalks closer. Kevin still unwinds himself from Aaron and meets him a couple of feet from the vehicle. The keys are dangling from an outstretched finger. His shoulders are hunched. Aaron wants to tell him to stand tall, but he also knows that standing up to a controlling narcissist takes a back bone few of their victims have when they try to confront them. He instead steps forward and sets his hand against Kevin's lower back, hoping the touch is somewhat grounding.

He watches Andrew's mask. It's been easier to read since he went off the medicine, no fake mania-induced smiles or glares forcing their way past his real emotions. He is terrified right now. Terrified and pissed the fuck off. He watches Andrew's upper lip twitch and the way his shoulder twitches.

Aaron grabs Andrew's wrist before he can lay a finger on Kevin. Andrew's grin is menacing. "Look at you. Not smart."

"We're even," Aaron says, his tone measured. "I owe you nothing. We've killed for each other," he says, releasing Andrew's wrist before stepping between him and Kevin. "Don't touch my things."

Watching his expression with his own words thrown back at him, words he'd thrown at Riko, words now thrown at him, Andrew's easy smile shifts to a hollow, practiced one. His eyes show a mixture of fear and pain. He flicks his them over Aaron's shoulder to Kevin. "You sure love to hop around, Kevin."

"Aaron doesn't make promises he can't keep." Kevin says, his hand settling on Aaron's shoulder.

"Sloppy seconds," Andrew tsks his disdain.

Aaron tenses, but Kevin squeezes his shoulder comfortingly. "Or what I overlooked initially and went with the option closest to what I have known my entire life." He's shaking like a leaf and his voice is barely above a whisper, but the words cut deep.

The meaning behind them doesn't escape Andrew. There's a twitch in his brow, but Aaron snaps in his face to get his attention. "Here are your keys. Leave us alone."

"You think an exy racquet is going to protect you from the Moriyamas?" Neil asks incredulously, stepping even with Andrew, reaching towards Kevin. "That's all Aaron has."

"Works faster than Andrew's blades," Kevin says with a shrug as he takes a step back, completely out of reach.

Neil narrows his eyes. "Why are you giving him up for..." he trails off, looking at Aaron, who glowers and flips him off. "-for the lesser half?" he settles on. Andrew covers his mouth and raises his brow in mock surprise as he looks at Neil then back to Kevin and Aaron.

Kevin studies them closely. "You know, I get it," he says, throwing Neil's words to Riko back at him now, "You and Andrew know nothing but how to lie and hurt people. You're perfect for each other."

He tugs Aaron to move with him, walk around Andrew and Neil to head into the tower.

"Of all the people to start standing up to, everything they've done to you and everything I've given you, why me?" Andrew calls after them. Kevin comes to a halt.

Aaron sets his hand over Kevin's now clinging to his shoulder and speaks before he can. "You sound just like mom."

If Andrew had looked livid when Aaron used his own words against him earlier, he had no clue how to describe the rage that manifested with that accusation.

"She always talked to me like that when I tried to stand up to her. You should work on that," he says with a faux grimace, pitying Andrew. "I guess some things really are genetic."

That night they cling to each other in Seth's old bed. Matt's dresser is against the door, Neil's stacked on top to completely block entry through it. Kevin's back is plastered to the wall as he spoons Aaron. Aaron still between him and the world. Kevin holding him, grounding him, keeping him from reaching for his old vices to float away. Moving forward was going to be far from easy, but it would be easier going with the dead weight they shed.