Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Toriel was so kind. So, so, kind. That's why being drugged and her friend being nearly killed, twice, was such a betrayal. How could a monster so kind drug her twice. How could a monster so kind nearly kill her friend twice. How could a monster so kind let her– no order her to die by bones?

Aliza is not a foolish girl– no, she definitely is, otherwise she wouldn't be in the underground– but whatever. Aliza is not stupid. She knew her friends were trying to kill her, that's fine. She hoped she'd be able to say she lived despite it, to prove her better. Instead, it proved her a dead fool.

Toriel is chasing her, Aliza is so close to a door, and Aliza is full of fear. She's 15 feet away from the door now. Fourteen. Thirteen. Twelve. Eleven. She hears something. Ten.

Her feet are the first to be impaled. Her legs next. She falls, being caught by more penetrating bones. One goes directly through her arm. One pierces her through the face, her head turned sideways by the blunt bone originally, but now it was pushed upon with so much pressure it ripped through both of her cheeks. Her chest was peirced five different times.

Aliza will not survive. She realizes this with stark clarity, surprising herself with the lack of fear at this declaration. She also realizes that time is moving faster for her than for Toriel, who hasn't reacted.

…Maybe that's not time related. Maybe Toriel is used to the brutal death of children. "When will this end?" Aliza wonders to herself. The pain is starting to overflow in her. Her bruises and ripped through cheeks are so painful, even the act of whimpering in pain hurts.

Her breathing hurts. Blood seeps from her mouth. Or maybe that's just from the bone tore through her. Aliza can't tell. Her body is dying, and she can't tell the difference between internal blood and external blood because it's all escaping. Her blood is leaving her, like her parents are leaving each other. Symbolic, in a way.

Aliza blinks. Aliza is still there. Why is she alive? She needs to be dead. Her legs speared with sharp, but jagged and brittle bones leaving shards in her skin. Her back, though she can't see it– can hardly see anything, really -why is it so dark?

Her back is nearly fully purple from the bones. They just had to be blunt ones. If they weren't so strong in their ascent, Aliza wonders if it'd be like the bed of nails she heard about on a science trip once.

Aliza doubts it. There's a bone surprisingly not stabbing her, and it's still bloody. It seems like these bones have been used to kill before. This sucks. Aliza wants to leave– to speak– to not be impaled by bones–!

Aliza takes a breath to calm down. It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts–

Lungs once healthy burn with red. Red of blood, both hers and of the bone attacks. She is covered in more blood than not. She stops breathing, but that's hard when you can't keep your mouth closed,

Oh yeah. The bone speared through her face. Somehow not a single bone collided with any of hers. Maybe. She thinks so. Thinking is hard. How is she alive? Why is she alive?

Maybe the bones– from the ground– dodged hers on purpose? That's why the bone in her face dodged her jaw. She has a bone in her face? Yeah, that's her skull. Why does opening her mouth hurt?

What's going on? Where is she? Why is she alive? She should be dead? What's going on?

Aliza breaths.

It hurts. It hurts worse than anything she's ever felt before.

Before?

What's before? Before what? What happened? She needs to go home. Her mom can fix this–

Even if she doesn't really fix anything. Just runs away. Maybe that's how she got here. She fell, maybe off a bike or something, and her mom ran away.

No, she hears her mothers sobs a few feet from here. Aliza opens her eyes, expecting to see her mom crying, like she heard, but instead finds…

"Flowey?" She can talk! And stand! What was hurting her?

"Well that shouldn't have happened…" Flowey turns to stare at her, "You died!"

"Wh-what!?" Aliza wants to run away, but she can't move.

Flowey scoffs,"Yeah, that stupid promise Toriel made with -bleh- Sans. I should've warned you, I'm sorry."

"I- I'm dead!?"

"Yeah. But it's fine, you'll come back."

"H–"

"You have the power of RESET. Everytime you die, you will come back to the most recent moment of FEAR filling your soul. Good luck, you're going to need it."

"I- I have to go back? To Toriel? And the bones– oh god the bones–" Before Aliza can work herself into a panic, Flowey interrupts her.

"Yep! You're gonna go back, and figure out how to get out unscathed, it may take a few tries, but I believe in you."

Aliza is full of– doesn't work here buddy.

"Then, when you get out of this hurdle, you'll face even worse ones outside! But it's okay! I'll be there if you need me!"

"It– it can get worse?"

"Ohhoho! SO MUCH WORSE! But it'll be okay– I believe in you! You'll make it through, eventually, and then we'll escape through the barrier together! It'll be great! Now, to actually RESET, you need to hit the button. Ya can't just stay here forever, gotta face the music eventually! Just remember– it's an EAT OR BE EAT WORLD OUT THERE!"

Darkness. That's all she sees. Darkness surrounding her. And then–

The ground is a comfort she didn't think of until just now. She is fifteen feet from the door again. Fuck.

Chapter Text

Flowey hasn't talked to her much since she left the Ruins– or at all. He's been there, in the reset area, only once since she's fallen. She wishes he'd help more. Aliza's very grateful for what he's done– drawing Sans away when he tried to cut her ear off was the most relieved she's ever felt, but... She wishes it was safe enough for them to travel together.

Aliza doesn't really want to enter Grilby's. But she does. Aliza enters the bar, alone, no Flowey or Sans or Papyrus to help– or hurt– her. She stumbles through introductions and listens to all the stories. Aliza just finished listening to the Mayor– maybe fake mayor?–'s story. She wants to leave. She's wanted to leave for a while.

She's about to excuse herself to leave–

and that's when it happens. Her arm is grabbed– she's being picked up and tossed over the crowd like it's a concert and she's crowd surfing. Only this crowd is drooling over the surf board. Aliza hates this. She hears their plans– to cook her. It's terrifying. Aliza is full of–

No, Aliza takes a deep breath and thinks– If I set a Fear Point here, I'll be stuck– just survive– I need to get out of their grip–

Fire grabs her– Grillby's face, melting yet not made of liquid, melting yet made of plasma– is terrifying. She sees his teeth and his gums. She hears his grumbles that may have once been words– but she can understand him. At least– what he's feeling right now.

Hunger.

Aliza is thrown harshly onto the grill– it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns it burns–

Aliza shakily raises her hand– "T-," She coughs, before continuing, "Two. I'm using my–" she coughs the smoke from her lungs and watches as the citizens cheer over the cooking of a child– "se- second freebie."

It's quick after that. Papyrus yells out a lie about Undyne, and she's free. But– after Papyrus leaves– Aliza's left alone with Sans. It's terrifying. Especially the way he's looking at her. He's staring. And his stare is hungry.

Aliza knows everything is hungry down here– she's made her choices (that she wishes she didn't, but it's too late to go back to a time where she had no friends, but no enemies either, and back then she'd never even though of cannibalism as an effective food source.)

Sans just… Stares for a long, long, time. Between his teeth– drool starts to leak.

Fuck. Aliza's fucked– she can tell. She starts to back up slowly– her feet moving backwards, never once taking her eyes off of him– but hits a tree. He mutters soemthing–

"Grillby is a good chef–" Sans… isn't talking to her or even to himself. Hes just talking. And it's terrifying. Aliza really really doesn't want to be here. Sans aproaches her– steady steps. Each crunch of the snow reminds her of her first death– by his bone attacks spearing through her– she can't help but think of the way she didn't even die a slow death. Not slow enough, anyways. Each crunch reminds her of the bones breaking through the earth to spear into her. She doesn't want to die again. She doesn't want to die again. She doesn't want to die again.

Aliza is full of fear.

Sans is two feet from her– Where is Papyrus? Aliza thinks that there's a chance he'd save her–

Her arm is grabbed. She expects to be dragged somewhere.

But when he pulls–

Her arm comes off.

Her arm comes off.

Her arm comes off.

Her screams are heard by her, but she's too focused on Sans for her to recognize them as her own. She stares– and he lifts the arm up to his mouth, ready to take a bite–

BAM!

Papyrus showed up. He hit his brother with a rock tied to a stick with notes on it that she can't read. Her arm is bleeding. Her arm is on the snow. Her arm isn't attached to her. It hurts– what– no. She knows what's going on. Sans just tried to eat her and Papyrus stopped him. He likely hasn't eaten. He doesn't have the teeth the other's have. He's sane– no, no, he's not. But he's not insane because of the children-eating.

Sans starts stirring back awake– Aliza wants to run. So, she does. Her feet carry her into the forest– most of her. Her arm– no. She's too busy to wallow– get away get away get away get away get away. That's all she can focus on. And all she want's to focus on anyways– until.

"Heya– OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED!?"

Flowey. Flowey.

Her friend. Her eyes open– apparently she was running blindly through the forest. That might be why she kept running into trees. She breathes in– and apparently she was light headed. She lands in the snow. Flowey rushes to her– "Hey hey hey, what happened? Was it– was this Papyrus?"

"N-no." Aliza curls in on herself. Her arm is in the snow– oh. That's Blue Snow. Oh no. She scrambles away– only to realize it's just a small patch of it. She turns to Flowey–

"Who then? Sans?"

She nods, but moves her focus to the snow. Her arm is still leaking blood onto it. But maybe… She grabs a handful. "Huh. Why? I told you to get good with them– did you piss him off or what?"

"No– he was hungry, I think." She snow forms almost like clay. Like really cold clay.

"He ate your arm?! He doesn't eat humans!– What are you doing?"

"Papyrus stopped him from eating my arm– but he still let him pull it off. A promise between them or something. I'm trying to make a fake arm."

"Hmm… Why do you need a fake arm? It'll only make you cold."

"I don't know–! I just–"

Footsteps.

The crunch of ice behind her. Aliza hears and sees Flowey pop underground. She hears him behind her. She turns around–

Chapter Text

"Ugh… Wha– Papyrus, what happened!?" Sans grumbles out as he wakes up, he would've concussed if he had a physical brain– like he knows humans and some other monsters have– to slam into the inside of his skull.

"Oh! I hit you– like you had instructed! You tried to eat the human," Papyrus points to the bloody appendage on the ground.

The sight of it is revolting to Sans. He stands up, and he notices Papyrus back away a little. "Oi, Papyrus–" Sans hears him give a hum, showing that he was listening, "Where'd the kid go?"

"Ah, Aliza ran off into the forest. I don't know why they always run! It's so infuriating, but as long as they do the puzzles, it's fine." Papyrus starts rambling to himself as Sans walks away, following the footprints and the blood trail.

He's seen monsters drink bloodied snow from particularly smart kids– the ones who make it to Snowdin. Some monsters are truly desperate.

The kid's tracks look as if they were running around randomly– the trail twists and turns, once circling a group of trees for three full loops before getting past them. He sees less and less blood next to the footprints, but it never gets to anything less than deadly levels of blood loss without bandages. Eh, what's one more name to the list of spices Papyrus uses.

Eventually he finds her– she's talking to a flower. Is she really that stupid, or is that an unregistered monster? But– they'd have to have been hidden from even before the CORE broke. No one was made after the CORE broke down.

Either way, she's somehow dumb enough to do this so close to the town. She really did go in circles.

The flower notices him– and it is in fact a monster. Maybe one that hides in the ruins with Toriel? The Flower goes into the ground. Aliza screams at it, "Please don't leave me–!"

What a whimp. Sans stares at her pathetic form, before moving to the spot the flower disappeared at.

That's how he was undetected. It might also be able to sneak food from Toriel– how she manages to grow plants undetected always shocked him. What shocked him more was the fact she hid it. She used to be so kind.

Aliza turns around, staring at him in fear. He smiles, "Hey, Aliza? What do you call a child on the edge of Snowdin's forest?"

He doesn't wait for her to answer, "Dead meat," his smile is large and unfocused– his teeth fail to hold back the drool that forms from the smell of half cooked human.

She cowers in fear, but doesn't move as he approaches. She's really scared. And– that makes him pause. Not because he felt bad or anything– in fact, he felt really really good about the idea forming in his head.

Sans knows she's a cheater– he was trying to make her unmotivated to continue for a while, but…

She's made it this far hasn't she? Hardly the first, but maybe she could be the last. Plan formed in his head, he grabs her by her hair and lifts her up high, her feet no longer touching the ground. He observes her.

The blue snow still in her hair, the jagged scar of a humorously large bear trap, the look of pure fear on her face, the blue snow arm, acting as a bandage, too dense to let blood leave it. Aliza is squirming in his grip, being lifted by just your hair probably hurts a lot– the children always complained when he dragged them by it. That might be why he does it so often.

And, the most interesting, most unique thing about her is the way she stares at his eyes the whole time. Not just the red one– both. Most kids just look away from him as they die. Some, brave or justice souls stare at his red eye. Perseverance souls were always interesting to him, though most get stuck with Toriel thinking they can "help her." Same with kindness.

The purple souls who make it past Toriel always make it to Grillby's. Some even make it past the bar.

Perseverance souls can look his brother in the eyes with the endurance to try to help. But they never last. And they hardly even look at Sans, especially not his eyes. They get so focused on their goal of helping Papyrus, you'd think they were a kindness soul.

Perseverance souls with a selfless reason to persevere are the first to go. Those who endure for the act of enduring– for the act of surviving– are the ones who last longest.

Their soul glows a stronger purple than those who persevere for others. They're more attuned with their own soul. A determined soul hasn't dropped in a long time. Eight years, then centuries before.

They last the longest.

Sans's eyes refocus to the sight of Aliza now slumped in his hold, no longer struggling. Just enduring in a way so attuned with her soul it makes him stupidly continue with his plan. There needed to be a change soon enough, he convinces himself.

"You're a cheater. And a good one, you don't react much when you come back. The first time– that I saw anyways, I don't know how many times you died in the ruins– you were a bit sloppy. So, keep pretending. Get better, or I'll give you some practice."

Aliza shudders at the threat, but keeps staring at his eyes– he knows she'll succeed with his plan with him. She just needs convincing to actually give it her all.

"You're gonna die. You're gonna die a lot. And you will come back– no matter what. Got it? Cause I ain't giving ya a choice."

She tries to nod, but her hair is still tightly gripped in his hands, her feet dangling off the floor. Her face scrunches in pain, before she mutters out a, "Y-yes, I under–" she gasps in pain as he tightens his grip, "I understand."

"Good. Now, we gotta lot to do. You and me are gonna kill the queen–" Aliza jolts, hurting her scalp even moreso, but stays quiet,"–and we need to do it stealthily. So you are going to do exactly what I say, or you're gonna have a bad time."

Sans drops her into the bloody snow beneath her. Aliza nods in fear, and stumbles a bit before standing up, "Ok, Sans."

Chapter Text

Aliza would rather be anywhere else. It's not like she has a choice in the matter. She feels her very soul be filled with fear. She hates the feeling. Aliza hates how familiar it's gotten to her in the past not even a day. She hates how Sans is gripping onto her other arm so painfully hard, if she doesn't keep fast walking, it'll no doubt be pulled off as well.

She doesn't know why he's doing this. Why, when one second he was about to eat me, he changed his mind? I saw his drool– he would have actually eaten me when Flowey left, and Papyrus was nowhere to be seen. He couldn't help–

He wouldn't help. He only helps his brother, by stopping him from consuming human meat, but not even for the act of helping him. Papyrus stops Sans from eating children because of a promise, not because of any moral quarrels.

Aliza is full of fear.

More than that, Aliza is cold. Terrifyingly so. She shouldn't have run off into the forest and fallen into the snow. She moves to rub her arms together–

Oh. She only has one now.

…And the stump is covered in blue ice.

She hardly even knows why she made the "prosthetic" in the first place– was it to pretend she was normal? Was it to hide the fact she had only one arm? Was it just a stress response? Was it to stop the bleeding? Did she even consider that before putting it on? Why is her memory not that goo– no, it's not bad, but her reasonings where. She doesn't remember why she made a fake arm of blue snow, not because of a bad brain, but because she never even had a reason.

It has always terrified her how much people can act on instinct rather than by reason. She blames it on the fact that she just lost her arm. Maybe if she had been smarter, and got out of the fire quicker, Sans wouldn't have tried to eat her. Maybe she would've just gone through the puzzles like Papyrus wanted her too, and she would've been friends with him down here. She tries to convince herself of this reality.

But she knows. She could've easily dodged all of this if she had just not climbed the stupidly cold mountain–

Wait… The mountain wasn't even that cold. Only at the top, right before she fell in. Maybe the cold was coming from inside the mountain. She fell quite early into the climb, nowhere near the peak where the snow fell.

Aliza was cold. Her "arm" was still stuck to her. The blue snow was still in her hair, now moved to touch her neck and back because Sans rearranged her hair when he lifted her. Aliza is cold. Her bare feet touch the snow. She didn't fall in with shoes.

She was so unprepared to climb the mountain. She should've got proper mountain gear. She shouldn't have listened to her friends. Aliza wished she wore something more warm than her sleep gown. Aliza wishes she had shoes. Aliza wishes she had any sort of heat source– Sans gloved hand left her arm a little bit ago with a warning against sneaking off.

She followed him. Not like she had a choice.

Aliza loved the cold as a child, she loved the snow, the snowmen, and she loved when sometimes, people would invite her to a snowball fight. But now… Aliza doesn't really like the pain snow is causing her. The snow beneath her feet is cutting her. The snow flakes, which she loved to draw and make with origami shapes, feels as if a thousand tiny daggers stab into her. Her feet are wet.

It's so cold.

But Aliza's arm is the most painful part of this. It's cold, yes, but also, her arm is off. How many times will she repeat it until it's a fact of life? If–

No, when, –Sans told her they'd fix it, she needs to stay on Sans's good side– they get out, she wonders what her life will be like. It's her dominant hand that's gone. She'll need to relearn how to use a pencil. She'll need to relearn how to use a fork. She'll need to relearn how to not feel guilt for what she's about to do. Sans wants her to kill someone. Aliza really, really, doesn't want to.

She tries hugging herself for comfort, but she only grabs onto snow. It's so cold. Colder than the daggers beneath her feet. It's blue snow, sticky and hard to get off. It sucks you in and drowns you easily. But you die from the cold way earlier than you could ever die from drowning.

Aliza doesn't like snow anymore.

She glances down at her feet– the first time she's looked away from Sans's since he let her go. She was so afraid of the consequences of accidentally disobeying him by walking at a different pace or walking the wrong way.

She expects her feet to be bleeding from the daggers, but they aren't. They're just a little wet. And cold. And more pale than normal. Aliza doesn't like this. But she never did have a choice, did she?

Not after she fell. She could've turned back at any time on that mountain. But she didn't. And that– her last choice, choosing to stubbornly climb a mountain to prove that she's worthy of having friends– is a really shitty way to go. Aliza won't let her last choice be diving into suicide, once she gets out, she'll make all her own choices and life will be great. She might even get a prosthetic for her hand.

Aliza is full of Hope.

Until…

Sans looks at her and all she can think of is How am I going to escape this hellhole?

Aliza is full of fear. Sans reaches for her– oh god not again– she didn't even do anythi– Aliza notices she's a foot farther from him than she had though she was. He thought she was running away.

Aliza opens her mouth to apologize– to beg for mercy– and Sans reaches forwards, and rips her arm off all over again. Aliza cries out in pain– "Oh shut up," He cruelly taunts, "You didn't need it anyways."

Sans throws the arm on the ground, it blending in with the snow–

It blending in with the snow. Aliza looks at her remaining arm– he took her snow arm off.

Oh. It's a little less cold now. But her arm has started bleeding sluggishly once more. I'm sure it's fine.

Chapter Text

Aliza feels fear– Sans hasn't let her go again. He drags her by her only arm left through the forest. They make it out in one– no, that doesn't work here.

They make it out of the forest alive. Aliza watches as the trees become less and less dense, before she is blinded by the su– no. No she's not. The snow reflects light, but from where? It's not the sun. It's not electronically powered. How is there light down here?

Aliza is knocked from her utterly useless thoughts when Sans's grip on her arm tightens. "Keep my pace. If I stop, you stop, if I continue, you continue."

Aliza finds herself nodding before she even registers the command. She was already planning on that– she did want to live after all– but it seems Sans wanted to make sure.

They continue walking on the snow covered floor– how is there snow inside the mountain?

Aliza needs to focus.

They walk on the edge of the forest, until they reach a…

familiar area.

Covered in her blood and gore.

Her arm's in the snow. Sans bends over and picks it up. Aliza is full of fear. He then– hands it to her..?

"Hold this and wait here," Sans commands– but Aliza's tired. She needs answers– she needs confirmation of her fears, and she needs to be treated seriously, and she needs to be treated like a huma–

"Wait."

Sans turns back to her, his legs already leaving her, and he raises his brow bone to look at her, clearly angry, but also curious. Aliza is full of fear.

"Why are you doing this? Why have you taken my arm off? Why are you making me hold my dismembered arm like it's normal? Why are you torturing me? Am I special? Do you tortue all humans? Why–" Aliza's breath catches in her lungs– Sans has walked closer to her, his red eye staring at her– but she keeps eye contact.

With both eyes.

"Why do you treat me so poorly? Why do I get punished for my existence? Why is my arm off? Why did you attempt to take my ear off?" Her voice, tiny, broken, and pathetic whispers out a terrified, "Why?"

Sans waits. Watching her. When he sees that she's waiting for an answer– he smiles. A crooked and mean grin.

"Hah. Hahaha. You think this is punishment?" Sans gestures to her dismembered arm, still clutched in her not dismembered hand, "This is nothing."

Aliza takes a breath to gather her courage– whatever she has left– before speaking, "Even if you don't see it as much, I still need to ask– why do you torture me at all? I did nothing to deserve this!"

"Heh. Sure ya haven't."

"I did nothing! I have just fallen– and then I have just been surviving–"

"Because you cheat. If you didn't cheat, you'd be dead."

Aliza is full of anger.

"ONLY BECAUSE YOU KILL ME–"

Sans grabs her by her hair and raises her up. Again. It hurts. Aliza is full of fe–

"The way I see it– I don't give a flying fuck what's fair or not. I couldn't care less if I give out fair punishments or not– not anymore. So, you…

W I L L N O T R U I N my mission. We are going to kill the queen. This is not punishment for actions already taken, this is actions being taken. But if you mess this up any more than you have– I'll find a way to really cause a punishment."

Aliza is full of fear.

Aliza is full of perseverance.

Aliza is full of fear.

Aliza is full of determination.

Aliza is full of fear.

Aliza is full of justice.

Aliza is full of fear.

Aliza is full of bravery.

Aliza is full of fear.

Aliza is full of almost everything.

Aliza opens her mouth to respond–

"Nope. I already told you– I Don't Care."

Aliza continues anyways, pushing past the tightness of her throat, the fear trying to protect her– "Stop hurting me"

Sans throws her to the ground. "Alright. Here's how we're gonna do this. You are going to shut the fuck up and listen. I could kill you where you stand. I could torture you until you bleed out. I could take your other arm off. So, here's a question for ya: How do you want me to punish you?" Sans glares at her form on the ground, staring in defiance.

"I don't want you to hurt me at all– that's why I'm asking why–" Aliza's voice breaks as a sob tears through her. Aliza is full of anger. Aliza is full of fear. Aliza is full of sadness.

Aliza sees as Sans tenses. He looks to the side– then he starts laughing. It's inaudible at first, the rise and fall of his chest the only sign, until she heard him. Aliza stares at him shock– what was wrong with him? Torturing and threats… Then laughter. This keeps happening. He needs me for something, but I am not allowed to know why.

Aliza just needs to follow along, and, hopefully, she'll make it out of this town full of crazier and crazier monsters. And they all want to eat her, except Sans, but he's gone the closest to actually succeeding.

Aliza doesn't like Snowdin. Hopefully the next place Sans leads her will either have nicer monsters, or a way out of here.

Chapter Text

It is quiet. Sans stopped laughing a few minutes ago. Aliza doesn't want to continue holding her own arm.

But she does.

Sans, who was stiller than the trees not one second ago, is now in front of her, his teeth on full display with a creepy grin, and his breath hits her face. He really likes getting in close, Aliza thinks bitterly.

He seems to get what he wants, whatever his goals could be, and stands up straight, before turning around and walking away, turning around after two steps to make sure Aliza is following. Aliza really doesn't want to be hurt, so she follows. She suspects it won't change the outcome– pain will reach her anyways. Aliza doesn't like the underground.

Aliza follows Sans, staring at his feet to make sure she's the exact same distance she always is. As far as possible without dying. She sees his feet freeze, before he turns around. She doesn't look anywhere else than his feet.

Aliza is confused– but she stays quiet. Did he take a wrong turn? Why are we going backwards? Did he see something–

Aliza has to stop her curiosity when she hears a loud laughter from where they left. It sounds like a woman Aliza once knew– the laugh is much more cruel than her gym teacher. There was a time when Aliza thought no one could be as cruel as her. How naive she was.

Aliza startles, but keeps following as Sans picks up speed. She doesn't look away from his ragged slippers. Aliza hears screams behind her– something about candy, and a monster named Bun Bun?

She keeps following Sans when she hears it. A sound familiar to her. The sound of flesh being impaled. The squelch of blood as it explodes from a body.

Whoever Bun Bun was is now dust. Aliza hears cries from a variety of voices. The sounds are nearly inaudible now. But the far away squelch of murder will never leave her ears. Aliza wishes she could have helped. Aliza doesn't know how she would help, but she wants to.

Sans doesn't even falter as he continues leading her through the forest, traveling in a new direction, no footprints she recognizes. This is a different way than the random directions she took in the forest. There are claw marks on the trees. The snow is not printed on by her previous frantic run, but it is marred by the claws of beats.

The claw marks are everywhere in this part of the forest. Aliza thinks they're nearing the destination, as Sans slows down. Aliza keeps her distance. She clutches onto her arm, acting as a stress ball. Aliza hates how she nearly thought it was comforting before she remembers what it is.

Sans's slippers slow to a halt, his feet stop lifting in the snow. Aliza takes the moment to glance around their surroundings, never letting her gaze stray from Sans too long, lest he leave her. They are in a new area, less and less claw marks are here.

They are surrounded by trees, the snow under her feet having not been disturbed for at least a few days– she doesn't know how accurate her guess was, she used the depth of the footprints to guess– and the sight of the back of a restaurant, Grillby's, to their right. Aliza clutches her arm against her chest.

Aliza remembers when she used to carry a stuffed teddy bear as a kid– before she started going to school. She would always hug it for comfort. Aliza really wishes the simple act was able to comfort her as well as it did back then.

Aliza inhales, nervous as she opens her mouth, "Why ar–"

Sans places a hand on her shoulder, and grabs her unattached arm with his other hand. "Captives don't talk. Now shut up, or we'll get caught."

Aliza really wants to talk. For a solid few seconds, she just stares. Sans stares back, waiting for her decision. Die? Or don't?

Aliza wishes she didn't have to make this decision. A murder just happened not even a block over, Sans seemed to not have a major reaction to it. Her arm in Sans's hand. Why are we walking into Grillby's with one

arm

in

his

hand–

Aliza wants to throw up.

Sans is going to cook her.

Why? Aliza wants to scream. She knows her reaction is clear on her face as Sans starts smiling. He's evil. He's so evil. Aliza wants to hate him. It would be so easy. But she knows she can't.

It's not like it's his fault the underground went to hell.

Aliza chooses not to die. Yet. Aliza's body slumps in defeat, and allows herself to follow Sans into the bar.

Chapter Text

The bar is empty, but Sans is moving quickly. The crowd is likely to come back soon. I doubt many care much about the death of one singular monster. They don't care much for the death of one single human, and a monster is no different. When the Queen leaves, they'll be back like nothing happened. Aliza thinks as she follows Sans into the kitchen.

Aliza feels nauseous once more as she remembers the heat on her back, the flames licking her skin and heating her veins. Aliza's heart, even at its fastest, still hasn't been able to pump as quickly as it used to through her cooked arteries.

Sans clicks the grill on, the fire beautiful if not for the memories it brings. Aliza screaming, the scent of burnt hair flooding her senses as the crowd cheers. Sans places the arm on the grill and waits. He's deathly still. His teeth leak black drool.

Aliza doesn't know why he's cooking her. She decides it doesn't matter– as long as it's the part that's off of her, rather than the parts that are still attached. Although, this doesn't mean much, he was the one who tore the arm off in the first place.

It doesn't matter– just survive. A voice that sounds suspiciously like Flowey says in her mind. Aliza wants to see Flowey. There's a high chance Sans will kill him if they meet. Maybe after their "Mission."

Aliza still doesn't want to complete the mission with Sans. Aliza was raised with the idea of each person being set in stone from the moment they're born– some people are good, some are evil. It's natural to stay the same. She's always thought it wasn't quite true. Some are born kind, but turn evil. Some are born mean, but turn nice.

Aliza's always wanted to prove those types of people wrong– the type that believes change is impossible. Maybe that's why the meek girl decided to be brave and climb the mountain.

Sans moves. Aliza flinches– but he wasn't moving towards her. Sans flips her arm, making sure it's cooked evenly. Why does he care?

Aliza resorts herself to never understanding Sans. He's insane. And unpredictable, as Flowey told her. Papyrus would have been better– still insane, but much more predicable.

Aliza's brought out of her thoughts when the smell hits her. Meat. Food. Aliza's teeth feel sharper in her mouth than they were a second ago. Such a strange symptom.

Sans has no seasonings to add, not that he would anyways, but Aliza wishes she could blame the sudden hunger on herbs rather than the meat. The scent is maddening. Aliza is so hungry.

Plop!

Aliza looks down, a difficult task with her mind muddied, and she spots the disgusting floor of the kitchen. Covered in blood and gore of other children, dust hiding beneath every appliance, gnawed on chunks of bone sit scattered on the floor. Aliza's stomach grumbles, ruining her observation as her eyes go back to locked on the grill.

The hunger is painful now. Who would've known eating a few servings of spaghetti would have made her so addicted?

Sans moves the arm, flipping it again. It's insane how easily he controls himself. Aliza can hear his drool hit the floor along with her own. Sans couldn't control himself when taking off the arm, but he can now? What makes his motive different?

Aliza feels Sans grip her wrist. Apparently it had risen in her absent mindedness. She was reaching for the delicious smelling meat, regardless of the heat. Sans's grip tightens as he lets out a growl, "If I don't get to eat you, you don't either."

Aliza nods and lowers her arm when Sans lets it go. She waits. Aliza tries her hardest to bring her mind off of it– trying to look around or think of past memories to distract her from the situation in front of her. It starts to work, but then the smell hits her again and she's stuck staring at the grill. It's taller than her, she can only see the flames at an eye level.

Two souls, human and monster, "bonding" over the alluring scent of the human's arm, drooling in a kitchen they broke into while a murder just happened on outside. Aliza really was sick, wasn't she? To do the same as her captor.

Maybe she was just hungry. Maybe Sans was just hungry, and he would never cook a child otherwise. Aliza hopes so. The smell distracts her once more. She stares, the tantalizing smell clouding her mind again and again.

Was this what it was like when Sans ripped my arm off? Aliza almost wants to be okay with this. But her morality is unwavering. What he did was wrong, no matter how hungry he was. Cooking the arm is also wrong, and I am wrong for thinking otherwise.

The door opens. Grillby walks in. Aliza barely holds back a whimper at the sight of him, Sans still does not move. Are they friends?

The smell nearly overtakes her mind once more, but Grillby enters the kitchen and her eyes lock with his form. He stares at Aliza, before his eyes move to Sans, then to the arm on the grill. They return to Aliza.

Aliza tries to hide behind Sans. It doesn't work. He's already seen her. Sans doesn't shift. Grillby makes a sound, a guttural groan that makes Aliza feel queezy. Sans Still doesn't shift. Grillby keeps staring.

When he doesn't move for a while, his eyes still locked on her, Aliza's mind, still foggy from the intoxicating scent, nearly thinks it's okay. That she's okay.