Archive of Our Own ^beta

Dear Mic’s Diary,

It’s been a minute, huh? I guess with everything that went down after the whole taco situation, I just got distracted with getting to hang out with everyone again. The hotel has been good! Some people left for a season 3… why mephone started a season 3 while season 2 is still happening I have no idea. But it’s been nice just having some downtime! I’ve been hanging out with pickle a lot, I know I’m not really a gamer type but he’s fun to play with, and he said he’d be down to play some board games with me soon! I’ve also, of course, been hanging out with soap! I forgot just how much I missed that girl. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

Microphone paused, thinking of Soap, of the message she got this morning from said girl. It was a long wall of text talking about how proud she was of her and how Microphone should be proud of herself. She was happy to say that she was.

She’s helped me through a lot. She’s helped me get to today.

Once more, Microphone paused. She could barely believe the words she was writing. A shaky breath escaped past her wobbly smile as she put the pen to page once more.

As of today, I’m clean! No self harm for a whole year. No tail stomping, no head hitting, no nail digging, and no biting.

Really, only a few people knew about Microphone’s self harm problem. From how much she isolated herself in the game and how no one really seemed to like her in the beginning, no one raised much of a concern. Even Microphone herself wasn’t concerned at her actions for a while. She’d heard of self-harm, obviously, but she had always convinced herself what she was doing wasn’t that. Despite the fact that she was harming herself, she always downplayed her actions since no blood was drawn.

It was Soap who finally noticed the actions, and confirmed what it was to Microphone. It really put things into perspective. Microphone tried to stop plenty of times after learning that, but it was hard, sometimes she would do it without even realizing; it was instinct. But she kept trying.

I made it.

Soap was a great help, teaching her methods to release her self-aimed anger and frustration. She had gotten Microphone various fidget toys and helped her go over breathing exercises. All this help and yet she still gave microphone so much credit. Microphone doubted that she would’ve ever even realized her harmful actions if it wasn’t for Soap. This diary entry would’ve never been written and Mircophone would still be left beating herself up over every little mistake.

Microphone could feel her grip on the pen tighten, her knuckles turning paler. She quickly shook her fists up and down, shaking her head side to side as well. Doing it probably looked silly but it helped, and it’s not like anyone was watching her. She took a breath in and continued.

Soap helped me get here, but I got here too. I tried, I worked hard, I grew, and I got here. I think I’m still learning things, and there have been plenty of close calls… but I made it. And I’m proud of myself.

… this was a little bit of a rollercoaster for an entry. Kind of a bummer, but kind of not? Bittersweet, I guess I’d call it? More sweet than bitter, though. Whatever, I just thought you’d like to know. See you whenever.

Mic